Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dim street lights flash across my eyes as I drive along the quiet highway. Mounted to the windshield of my car is a phone from which several jovial voices blast out; the sound of my friends playing some game together.

“Hehe, what the heck just happened you guys?” I angle my head so that my words go through the phone mic while keeping my eyes on the road, flicking an indicator as I check my blind spots. Multiple voices answer me as a sound indicates the beginning of a stream, likely trying to show me what just happened. “Did y'all forget that I’m driving? You guys trying to get me killed?” I shake my head and grin a bit as the voices laugh at someone panicking. Are they drunk? Again?

Sighing, I leave the quiet highway and turn onto an even quieter road. The path, void of lines and street lights, slowly turning uphill. It’s a pretty uneventful trip, but eventually the subtle glow of a million distant lights envelops me. The bustling city is an oddly calming light show despite the stories I’ve been told about it. Eventually, I reach the end of the road. For now at least, as it will most likely be extended in the future judging by the empty construction site in front of me.

“Alright, guys. I’m getting off for now.” I tell my friends with a strained voice as I stretch my limbs. Afterwards, I reach over to disconnect myself from the group call as another surge of noise is emitted from the phone.

It dies too fast for me to decipher; not like I care though. Finally, some peace. I lean back into the car seat as I gaze back at the city through my car window. “Huh, that’s a strange company name…” I squint my eyes at one of the skyscrapers, but I can’t seem to tell what the glowing sign up top says. “Well, it doesn't matter.” I adjust my body forward and—Hm? What’s this? In the middle of the steering wheel is a symbol of a silver flower. It’s what I would imagine a flower’s skeleton would look like if it had one. That’s strange… I don’t remember this being the car brand. As I reach my hand out to feel it… “Huh?” Why isn’t it responding?

“Fuck...My hand?” I mumble as I turn my head to look at the…knife its holding? “C'mon!” I try to move it once more but my muscles seem to be frozen. My knuckles turn white as my shaking hand holds the knife in a death grip. “The fuck? Let go already!” I struggle in place as the seat belt starts to get tighter and tighter around me. At this point, I can only move my head. Every twitch of motion makes my binds dig further, but I pay them no mind; I only have eyes for the flowery crest, mind focused on how to destroy it.

At the thought, my arm suddenly surges with newfound energy; painfully undoing itself from the tangle of the belt, I reach out to the symbol on the wheel right as it begins to glow. The light radiates in pulses–like a heart that needs to be silenced–and I do just that by plunging the knife into the flower symbol, deep into the steering wheel. The following eruption of light all but blinds me, and the last thing I see before fading is a typhoon of coins spurting out from the emblem.

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Jesus Christ! Did a nuke just go off next to me or something? The sheer force of the sound sends painful vibrations through my body before I can think any further, and by the time it finally bleeds off, I realize that I am lying on my back over countless blades of grass. “Son of a bitch…” Well that was one hell of a way to wake up, now what was I supposed to do again?

Stretching my limbs out with a yawn, I feel the hand on my right give a painful crack. “Ow…” Now finally, time to greet the day! Sitting up straight, the first thing I register is the amount of red surrounding me; dozens if not hundreds of flowers cover almost every centimeter of the ground–and I'm quite sure I’ve trampled a few underneath myself too. No sign of my car, which is odd; I’m pretty certain I was driving before I clocked out, else how would I have gotten here?

While my brain stews in its own musings, my eyes turn upwards, and despite the blinding glare of the sun I spot something spinning through the air towards- thunk. “-FUCK!” In between my legs–inches from my body–a long needle-like dagger is embedded firmly into the ground; one I vaguely remember holding in my dream. The implications are lost on me, however, when I feel an object slam into the back of my skull with an audible thwack. “Agh, not again…” Why god? Why me?

After taking a moment to find my bearings for the second time today, I use my arm to wipe away the crust and tears from my eyes–causing it to flare with pain. “Ow! Now what?” I bring it close, and there it is; friction burns stretching across from my bicep to my wrist, at exactly the places I was bound by in my dream. Was it real then? I scratch at my itching neck, and feel the same burning pain sensation spread across it.

“No way, what the fuck happened?” With a gasp I check my other arm; raw bruise marks decorate it, with my hand red, swollen, and forearm veins bulging from when I had previously gripped the dagger. The dagger, that is still very much there in front of me. Ignoring the protests of my battered arms, I rise to my feet before crouching over the stuck weapon. Pulling with my uninjured left, I struggle and pull at the hilt–digging out the blade one inch at a time. It loosens as clumps of grass are displaced, still stubbornly refusing to part with the earth.

With no choice left, my right hand joins in on the grip, and I give it a final tug; the stiletto frees itself just as I let out a hiss of pain, trying to ignore the throbbing across my abused limb to instead focus on my find.

The silvery blade is about as long as my forearm, thinning as it reaches the tip, and affixed to a modest hilt. Spiralling carvings snake along the steel, ending at a pommel engraved with an image of the very flowers surrounding me. It feels fairly light compared to its appearance, and I take a few test swings with it, satisfied with how it feels in my grip. Seems like it won’t be at its best when slashing, however, judging by the shape of the blade; it looks much more suitable for stabbing than slashing.

A glint of gold catches my attention while I admire the stiletto, and upon focusing I realize what gave me that mini concussion earlier; a shiny coin, sitting on the ground. As I move down to grab it I notice more of the same currency scattered around me, most of it the same sparkling golden as the first with a few smaller ones in the mix. Bringing it to eye level, I can see it’s…a five-hundred yen coin? What on earth?

“Hey.” A voice speaks from behind, and I quickly snap to a stand to face the stranger. Dark hair, and a browned face greet me as I step back to take in the rest of his attire. Rocking a biker jacket over a plain white shirt, faded jeans, and with a crowbar resting in his gloved hands, he looks every bit like someone I shouldn’t be talking to. “What’s your name?” He asks.

“Joaquin, what about you?” He just stares at me in response. Maybe I was a bit too rude? I better- “Sc.” Oh, nevermind then. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Sc. Are you from around here?”

“Do you know where we are?” He didn’t seem to hear me, or maybe he doesn’t want to answer? Well whatever, I think I should stay polite; that crowbar does not look like it would be fun to feel against my bones. “I don’t, sorry. I was actually wondering if you knew, because I didn't see any sign of my car.” At my denial he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone-I’m an idiot! How did I forget about my damn phone now of all times? Oh whatever, I’ll kick myself for it later–I need to get out of here first.

I turn on my phone and start dialing in my pin, stopping halfway when my gaze lands on the top of the screen. “No bars…” Okay, don’t panic. Call 000, their contact works regardless of service. I bring the device to my ear, and my paranoia slowly begins to rear its head; One beep, two beeps, and it continues to ring until an automated voice takes its place.

Where the hell would I have to be for the emergency service not to work? “Fuck, emergency services won’t work.” I turn to Sc, who seemed to have had the exact same idea. “Same here. 911 won’t pick up.”

“911?” What the hell is he doing, calling them? “You know their hotline doesn’t work in Australia right?” Why’s he looking at me like I grew a third head? Did he really not know?

“We’re in America. What do you mean Australia?” I, what? America? This makes no sense, I couldn’t have driven here. The road I was taking wasn’t even done!

“No, man. I was just out on a drive, not a flight. Besides, how would I have made it to The States without a passport?” Yeah, there’s no way. This guy might be on something, no one sane calls themself Sc of all things. “You already failed to contact 911 too, so we’re definitely outside American soil right now.”

“Oh yeah, meat ball? Then tell me where we are right now.” Well, fuck you! And why’s he getting closer? My hold on my weapon tightens, and he seems to notice–stopping dead in his tracks.

“Hey now, let’s calm down.” Please do. “I don’t know where we are, but it looks like we aren’t in either of our home countries. We should probably focus on finding a road, or some other landmark of civilization.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Oh thank god, no fighting for now. “You came up with the idea. So go ahead and lead the way then.” Well, sure. I don’t think I’d feel safe trusting this guy’s sense of direction anyways.

“Oh!” Right! I almost forgot. “Give me just a minute!” I get down on my knees and quickly start scooping up the yen coins still scattered across the ground. Counting them, there’s about five of the five-hundred, and three of the one-hundred variety.

“Can you be any slower big guy?” Sc’s voice snaps me back to the task at hand. I pocket my meager wealth and rush over to where he’s still stood unmoving. “Finally, now let’s be quick and move fast.” I swear, if he didn’t have that crowbar…

I start walking in a random direction, with Sc soon following a few steps behind. The scenery stays as unassuming as ever; flowers, flowers, and more flowers with the occasional placement of peculiarly purple cherry trees to break up the monotony. There is the odd everyday item under some of them; mangled umbrellas, random tools rusted to uselessness, and–more worryingly–shattered remains of bones that I hope belonged to animals.

The atmosphere keeps getting more and more imposing, and moreover, my wounds keep getting unbelievably itchy–so I’m fairly glad when Sc tries to strike up a conversation. “Do you really know where you’re even going?” Even if it is a very pointless one.

“Not really, I’m just hoping we find something soon.” It doesn’t help that everything here looks the same. “What about you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m getting bored. We haven’t found anything helpful or useful so far.” Yeah, kind of losing hope myself… “You were right chubby, I really don’t think we can be in America.”

“What?” I turn my head to look at him. “What do you mean, ‘we can’t be in America?’” I thought we already had this conversation, and of course another fat joke; is he trying to start something?

“Just think a bit about it.” He points to a few of the trees in the distance. “Those trees aren’t from America I’m pretty sure.” Wait, now that he mentions it…

“You might be onto something Sc.” I start fishing around in my pocket for the change I picked up before, pulling out a hundred-yen coin to show to him. “I found this when I woke up, a yen coin. I’m also pretty sure cherry blossom trees are found in Asia.” Wait a minute. I pause, fully turning to face my companion. “Actually–now that I think about it–we might be in Japan!”

Sc seems fairly surprised to hear this. Before he can really respond, however, the loud Bang of a gunshot tears through the air like a firecracker. Both of us flinch at the sound, turning our gazes to the direction it came from a moment later. “You heard that too right?” Pretty sure I’m not mistaken, but…

“Yeah, sounds like gunshots.” Well that’s just dandy. Nothing but flowers and trash, and the first sign of life is gunshots! “We should probably check it out. They could know where we are.” Is this man serious?

“Let’s maybe not do that?” Approaching gunfire in the middle of nowhere is a one way ticket to the news headlines. “They could be dangerous, and besides if they’re already firing they might be in trouble.”

“Yeah, but finding anyone right now would be good. We’re already lost, and we have nothing on us.” He makes a good point, actually. We haven’t really gotten anywhere have we? “Trust me.”

“Alright, you make a sound argument.” I shift my body to face towards the direction we heard the shot from, nudging Sc forwards. “You’re leading though, since it's your idea.” There’s no way I’m taking the front, man.

Thankfully, he seems to accept my reasoning without any more of his snide remarks. I strafe until he’s more or less in front of me, and we begin jogging towards what I hope are friendly folk. Barely a few minutes pass before I see it. A rural path splits the grassy fields ahead of us, snaking along into the distance with twists and turns every so often. Man, we were stupidly off course weren’t we? I slow down for a second to catch my breath, but Sc continues running forward. Wait, why’s he changing direction?

“Woah, wait up!” I get my ass back in gear after him. “Where the hell are you going?” Coming up next to him, I try to get his attention to no avail. Man’s eyes are locked straight ahead, and he speeds up even more as I try to grab his shoulder. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

“Look, there’s the people we were looking around for.” What’s he- Oh. Following his gaze, I move a bit to the side to get a proper view–just in time to notice two people. One is looking our way, saying something I can’t quite make out while the one with the gun is crouched over what looks to be an animal carcass. As we get within earshot he looks up, hastily getting up before pointing the pistol’s barrel right at us.

“Woah, hey dude! We’re not looking for trouble!” I shout as he starts taking aim, making sure to stand completely still. “We just want to talk, so how about you put the gun down.” I knew it. I knew this was a stupid idea.

“Drop your weapons!” The gunman shouts. “Before I fucking shoot you both.” Immediately, I drop my dagger onto the soil–Sc’s crowbar joins it with a thud soon after. “Good, now talk. One wrong move, and both of your fucking lives will end right here.”

“Easy, man. We’re a bit lost…and we were hoping you could tell us where we are.” I say that, but I don’t think he’s in any mood to help. I raise my hands in surrender–just in case–before speaking again. “Please? We just want to go home.”

He stays silent, looking me over while I do the same to him. A bit on the taller side, with messy black hair–a small mustache and stubble adorning his spectacled face. Body looks fairly average, but his clothing is just plain weird. An army green jacket over a white shirt, and camo pants for some reason? All in all, the blackened combat boots seem like the most practical part of the attire. I’m so caught up in gawking at his getup that I nearly miss the sound of the other guy speaking.

“Hey uh, Joe? Let’s hear them out.” He seems to be avoiding eye contact with us while he mumbles, staring instead at the carcass at Joe’s feet. “We could use the help…” He isn’t too abnormally tall–a good head or so shorter than me–but that grey hoodie of his casts a lanky figure. The rest of his gear further sells the image; some pale trousers and some red sneakers, along with a frying pan…?

Another minute of silence stretches on before Joe speaks again, just as I finish my examination. “Fine. Approach us, slowly–and don’t try anything funny while you’re at it.” Don’t need to tell me twice. Inching closer, I stare at the blood pooling from the corpse at his feet–courtesy of a bullet wound in its side–before snapping my gaze back to the duo of strangers. “Tell me your names.”

“I’m Joaquin Bell,” I nod to myself. “And my friend here is...” Please take the hint.

“Sean Crowley.” The fuck? With a straight face too, huh? “Just S.C is fine though.” Simply amazing work... I would applaud your genius if I wasn’t being threatened right now.

“What about you guys?” Joe’s gun lowers, and my arms follow suit as he prepares to speak.

“Joe.” Good talk. Turning to the other one shows him fidgeting with his hands, saying something under his breath a few times.

“I’m, um. Nomura, yeah.” He gives us a nervous smile after finally catching my gaze. At least he seems friendly, if a tad shy. “So… You guys are lost?”

“Yes, we woke up here.” Sc starts. “We don’t know, but we already tried calling the Australia and America hotlines.”

“Same here…” Nomura looks pretty worried. “I was taking a nap after uni, but then I woke up here. Ah, I had work today too…” Yikes.

“I’m guessing the same thing happened to you?” I turn to Joe.

“Yeah. Just woke up in the middle of nowhere with this guy.” He points his thumb to Nomura. “Then this fucking dog thing attacks us out of nowhere.” Well that clears things up. I glance at the body again, which looks nothing like any dog I’ve ever seen. Might be a wild breed, if those big fangs and bristled fur are any indication.

“Well, it looks like we’re in the same boat then.” I gesture to them. “What do you think about teaming up with us?” Joe seems a bit overly aggressive, but it would be smart to stick together if we’re really stranded, and more people than just Sc to talk to would be nice.

“That sounds like a good idea!” Nomura’s up for it at the very least. “...What do you think, Joe?” He turns to his companion.

Joe looks like he’s having a tough time deciding, twitching his facial muscles every so often while his eyes stay on the gun he’s fiddling with. After a couple seconds of thinking though, his face relaxes as he reaches a decision. “Fine, then. It’s better than getting eaten alive by these fucking things if I go alone.”

Alrighty then! “Great! I uh, see you found a road?” I stare into the distance. “Is this where you two came from?” Would be a shame if this was a dead end.

“Oh! Not really...” Nomura pipes up. “That dog attacked us right after we got here too.” It could be worth following then…

“Speaking of which,” Sc speaks as he walks past me. “We should get moving fast. It’s almost going to be night soon.” Oh actually- Yeah the sun’s over halfway past the sky. Shit, we’ll really need to hustle at this rate.

“More dogs are probably going to come soon too.” Joe joins Sc. “Get your weapons. Quick.” He points back to my stiletto, and Sc’s crowbar.

“Oh, right!” I nearly forgot about them in the excitement, and Sc seems to have done the same. We rush on over and grab our respective metal sticks, joining Joe–and Nomura–soon after.

The path is pretty awful all things considered; It’s uneven, overgrown and half the time seems to bend for no apparent reason. Still, no one has tried to stray from it after Sc tried to take a shortcut and nearly tripped face-first over a skull. Now he's busy trying to talk to Joe, who looks more than a bit ticked off.

I don’t particularly feel like dealing with the shenanigans occurring up front, so I let myself fall behind until I’m walking right next to Nomura instead. He hums to himself while idly inspecting his pan. “Hey, Nomura?”

“Hm?” The humming stops as he turns to focus on me instead. “What did you want to ask me?” The pan is lowered, though he doesn’t seem to be keen on loosening his death grip on it.

“Oh uh, just wanted to ask about your pan.” His hold relaxes. “Why are you carrying that around? Wouldn’t something else be better as a weapon?”

“Actually…this pan is special to me.” He raises it to give me a closer look. There’s a lot of wear and tear on the interior; scorch marks and scratches, that kind of stuff. The apparatus is lowered before Nomura continues. “I really like cooking, so I don’t want to just throw this away…” Well, that’s fair I suppose. “And don’t worry about weapons!” He reaches into his trouser pocket, and pulls out a knife. Huh, nevermind then. “I’ve got it covered…” He says with a big smile. It isn’t much but at least he’s got his bases covered.

“Oh! Alright then.” Might as well get to know him, as long as we’re travelling together. “Say, you got any other hobbies besides cooking?”

“Well…I uh, watch anime? Mostly, action ones, and magical girls!” He’s getting extra fidgety but his gaze shifts to look at my face instead. “I really like history too; I played a lot of historical games, like Hearts of Iron Four!” Oh…one of those guys, I see.

That is a bit of a sad set of hobbies, but he looks excited about it so I just settle for a grin of my own. “That’s pretty cool man! I like to play competitive games myself, and I play the violin with some piano on the side.” Though I haven’t practiced in a bit… “So you’ve got the knife and the pan, do I assume you have some ingredients too?” Some cheese perchance?

“About that, hehe…” Nevermind then. “I don’t have any ingredients on me, sorry…” Of course you wouldn’t. Only insane people carry ingredients with their dollar store kitchen knife and century old pan. “But don’t worry! I’m sure we’ll find something to eat soon.” Out here? A bit optimistic isn’t it?

“Eh, I guess,” No use dwelling on it, then. “Did you see anything interesting before we met up? That dog back there looked pretty weird.” I don’t think wild dogs were quite that big?

“Yeah, it attacked me and Joe barely a few minutes after we met…” Sc and I might have gotten lucky then. “It was out here sniffing around near the road.” Yeah, really lucky. I don’t think we would’ve gotten off scot free against that bulky thing.

“There weren’t any on our end, and we were walking for a good while.” Nothing but trees and flowers thankfully. “We did see some old junk lying around though. That and some uh, bones.”

Nomura looks a bit more nervous hearing that last bit, maybe I shouldn’t have told him that? “W-well, that’s normal right? The dogs have to eat other animals…” Yeah but those remains didn’t look very animal to me; not that I’m going to correct the man.  “-oh Look!” I follow the direction he’s pointing in with my eyes, and there does seem to be some sort of structure jutting out from the now grassy plains in the distance; something I might have missed if the sun wasn’t almost gone by now. “It might be a village!” Good eye Nomura!

The guys up front haven’t noticed yet, so I shout the message to them too and soon enough we’re moving double time to get to the village as fast as we can. We still don’t dare to traverse the foliage however, and despite our best efforts night falls halfway across our trek. Even with the moon shining clear in the sky there’s barely enough light to see a couple meters ahead of us, but the village glows brightly like a beacon in the night.

“How far are we?” I direct towards the group. “I’m starving.” It’s been hours and I still haven’t eaten a scrap of food, not to mention the fact that we’ve spent half the day on our feet…

“Shut up.” Joe, as usual, isn’t in the mood for talking. “We’re getting there when we get there. Save your energy for walking.” I really need something to focus on aside from wandering, anything at all!

Just as I say that someone trips and slams into the dirt, accompanied with the metallic clang of a pan. Nomura lets out a pained grunt when I stop to help him up–and he’s hurt his foot. “Ow, I think my ankle’s twisted…”

The rest of us gather around him to check the extent of the damage, and it is definitely sprained. “Not good at all…” We won’t be making it to the village anytime soon that’s for sure. “Should we take a rest here? It should get a bit better by morning.” No use moving at a crawl through the night.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Sc leans over and picks Nomura up like a toddler, slinging him across his shoulder. “Come on, we’re wasting time here.” Nevermind then? Nomura looks a bit too embarrassed to protest, and neither Joe or I have a better idea so we roll with it.

Another couple of minutes pass without much fuss, and I’m about to lose it. I prepare to ask Nomura if he has anything edible on him–just in case he forgot something–when my wish for change is granted. Padding movement disturbs the fields either side of us, accompanied by the growling and panting of canines. Fuck.

“We’re surrounded!” Sc yells, as the cacophony of shifting grass slows to a steady crunching–growls devolving into snarls. “Get together, don’t leave your back open.” Wasn’t planning on it.

I reorient myself so that the path is in front of me and the overgrowth either side of it is in my peripheral vision, slowly edging closer to Joe and Sc. The wolves haven’t tried anything, but better not to take any chances. “Hey guys, how many are there on your side?” We might be able to scare them off?

“Two on this side, and there are probably more.” Joe says, hopefully aware of the odds. “We need to run.” Thank god, we’re going to live. “You better get ready to start running.”

Not a moment later and we bolt, Sc and Joe leading the charge with Nomura in tow while I bring up the rear again. The pack has given up all incentive of stealth by now and there are no less than eight of the things hot on our heels. They’re taking me first at this rate.

“Joe, you have a gun. Use it!” My legs were not made to run a marathon at full sprint! “They’re not letting up, and I don’t think I can keep up this pace for the rest of the way!” They haven't gained on us yet, but I have a bad feeling. From the peeks I’ve chanced, the wolves are just about keeping pace with us and I’m pretty sure they’ve gotten farther and farther apart each time…

“I don’t have enough bullets for them all!” Yeah, you’re just saying that because you aren’t in the back!

I turn back once more–and now half of the pack is missing. The remaining ones are spread out across the path, and I think I can take a guess as to where the rest are going.

“There are some fields up ahead! We’re almost there.” Just a bit more to go, but it isn’t meant to be. The missing half of the wolves slips out of the tall grass up ahead, ready to intercept us and with no hope of reaching the village.

We’re so screwed. Nomura even takes the moment to come out of his catatonic state to scream, “I see water, right there!” He’s pointing into the thick greenery, where some moonlight shimmers before the fields.

Going off the path seems like a death wish without it being the dead of night, but we don’t have a choice at this point. “Guys, through the grass!” I yell, changing trajectory and diving into the plants. I can’t hear anything beyond the crunching and swishing of grass as I run completely blinded, uselessly swinging my blade to clear away the few patches of plantlife weak enough to be cut; I can only hope that the others are behind me.

Vision returns to me as I burst through the last of the flora, just in time to trip from a change in ground level. The fall lands me on my shoulder, and the dagger nearly flies out of my other arm as water permeates my lower clothing. “Ouch…” This day sucks. At least I made it to the river, though I think it’s narrow enough to classify as a canal. Right then, almost to civilization! I get up as best I can with a throbbing shoulder and stumble out of the water. “God it’s cold…” What season is it even? With my luck, winter or something…

My moment of respite is interrupted by the grass shifting on the other side; two of my companions emerge–third in tow–and both of the bastards make the jump across the canal just as the pack follows. “Holy shit! We actually made it!” Joe pants out. The wolves aren’t following us though, maybe for- Oh shit, aren’t they running back to where the path was?

“Guys they’re circling around!” I start moving. “The sooner we get going the better.” Sc follows–surprisingly unwinded by all the running–while Joe takes a moment to catch up, looking quite exhausted.

“I thought w-we were done for!” Nomura’s more animated now, probably the adrenaline acting up. “You’re really strong S.C…” Yeah no kidding, how much does this guy work out?

“Thanks. But we need to move faster.” With that the man starts jogging again. How the fuck?

Joe and I keep a slower pace, neither in the mood to really talk, when howls and barks carry through the air again. All of us are shy of outright booking it again–mostly with regards to our dwindling stamina–but the pack is covering ground a bit too fast for my liking.

Not to fear, the village walls are only a few meters away at most; but where’s the gate? “Cross the river on the west! The gate’s on the other side!” We’re about to die out here with any luck, but whatever.

We haul ass along the wall, the pack cutting distance with every minute passing. Only when they’re almost upon us do we reach the river, and at that point we just leap into the chilly stream.

“Gah!” I can feel the cold through my bones! Sc surfaces next to me, followed shortly by Joe and Nomura a ways away. “You g-guys alright?”

“I feel like shit.” Joe’s waddling through the current. “At least it’s gonna be done soon.” Looks like it anyways.

“Guys, I’m gonna need some more help here.” Nomura hobbles along, pretty uncomfortably till Sc moves to help him. “Thanks…”

The wolves still haven’t followed us in, and they’re actually retreating when I turn to check; finally, talk about persistent. The rest of the journey across the river is fairly uneventful–and we make it out without too much fuss. I can see the light of what I assume to be the gate from here, and as we get closer there’s shouting from the walls above. The guards at the entrance whip out their weapons in our direction before relaxing at our probably miserable appearance. “Get in, quickly.” One of them ushers us in as the gate opens before returning to his post. “Find wherever to sleep for now, and get yourselves sorted in the morning.”

The inside of the village isn’t much easier to navigate than the outside; buildings of varying shapes and sizes are set at varying intervals, with little regard for traversal or organization in mind. All in all, the place looks medieval levels of impoverished.

The place seems interesting enough, but I’m bone tired–and I doubt any of us feels up to explore so we just settle into the first alley we can find before collapsing in a heap. The air is still cold as hell, but I’m not the one sleeping next to the opening so it’s bearable.

As sleep begins to tug at my fatigued body I hear Nomura calling out next to me. “Good night everyone, have sweet dreams.”

“Love you guys, no homo.” Sc adds, for some damned reason.

“Shut the fuck up. Go to sleep.” Joe’s voice retorts, moments before I find myself gently drifting into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

…Man, what time is it? And why is my bed so fucking stiff today man… I roll over–or at least try–to get into a more comfortable position, but there’s something blocking me. I open my eyes and get a nice view of someone’s filthy hair. “What the fuck?” I try to scramble back and–Ow! I hit my fucking head on the wall. Why am I here anyway? Then I remember; I got here with those other idiots after we nearly got eaten by giant fucking dogs. Just great. I still haven’t eaten shit for a whole day, maybe I should find some food.

I get up and out of the alley and see Nomura sitting right outside, biting into an apple. “Oh! Hi Joe, did you have a good sleep?” Wait, there’s even more eaten apples on the ground nearby. “Joe?”

This fucker. “So you found food and thought you were gonna have it all?” I’m going to kick this guy’s ass hard. “Give all the apples you have left, or I’m gonna fuck your face up!” I take a step closer.

The Nomura guy shuffles back and I reach out to grab him–but an apple hits me in the face before I can get close. “Woah, woah. Calm down…” The audacity of this fellow… “Have as many as you need, here!” I stop grabbing my throbbing nose and see him holding an empty hand out; a second later it’s now holding another juicy red apple. “Check it out! I don’t know how it works… but I can get us food!”

Well that’s pretty fucking convenient… Eh whatever, not going to look a gift horse in the mouth again. “Thanks, man.” I grab the one that hit me earlier and dust it off before taking a bite. Man, this is good. “Sorry. About earlier, I mean… You get it, right?” Great, now it’s getting awkward. I need to stop being stupid for once. “Anyways, how did you even figure out you could do that thing?”

“I woke up a bit earlier, and I was getting really hungry…” Nomura holds his gut with a pained expression. “I was really craving an apple or two, and it just appeared when I thought hard enough!” Man, this is some bullshit. Of course this doofus can just spawn (teleport?) food out of nowhere. “Want another?” I catch the fruit he throws; it’s almost uncanny how similar all these apples look…

Beggars can’t be choosers I guess. The flavour is still amazing, but I wonder how long the sentiment will last if they all taste the same. “Not bad, but it feels like I’m eating one thing over and over.” Even the texture is the same, down to the glossy smoothness of the appleskin.

“Sorry, I don’t really know how to fix that.” The fellow bows his head for a moment. “We’ll just have to deal with it…” Not the worst thing to deal with so far, I guess.

Commotion comes from the alley behind us, and after a minute the other two guys come out to start the day too. “Morning guys.” The one with the sword greets; Joaquin Bell, right? The Sean guy follows suit, and Nomura offers them a handful of copy-pasted apples too.

“Ask him, man.” I say to S.C before he starts bugging me for an hour again. Thankfully, the idiot takes the hint and stops his attempts to converse. He does toss over my shovel though; guess I forgot it, huh? Actually, what about my gun? Alright good, it’s still in my pocket.

The others seem to have finished while I was busy touching myself, so I dust off my outfit and ask the obvious question first. “What now? Does any one of you have any idea or what.” I don’t wanna end up sleeping in another dirt crusted alley again. Luckily Joaquin Bell has an answer ready.

“Well, it’s pretty simple isn’t it?” Maybe explain first fucker. “Basically we should probably try to find a civil servant or an officer or something. This place looks like the boonies but it’s gotta have something.” Ok, yeah. I guess that’s a good idea; let’s follow this guy’s advice then.

“Fine. Lead the way then.” With that we begin the trek to our destination. The place is an absolute mess to navigate though, and we keep getting more and more lost by the minute. Joaquin Bell lasts about ten more before most of the people not already up start exiting their homes and take to the streets. Just our luck too, that the first bum we stop actually knows what he’s talking about.

“Oh, I see… I take it you’re outsiders then.” No shit Sherlock. “People get spirited away here from the outside world sometimes. The exact amount hasn’t been consistent, but I don’t know if it’s as easy to leave.” What the fuck? So we’re just stuck in this backwater hellhole?

Taking a look at our expressions, he at least has the decency to look apologetic. “Yeah, sorry. Maybe the Hakurei miko could do something for you lot, but if not? You’d best find a job.” Wait, fucking Hakurei…? Joaquin Bell looks a bit shaken too, and Nomura and Sc are fidgeting like idiots. I’m not crazy then, these guys know about Reimu too.

And what makes this guy think we’re gonna stick around here? No way am I smearing shit in the fields for fourteen hours a day just to eat! Before anyone else can reply I quickly ask, “Where do we find Re- this miko?” Fuck. Nearly said her name before I should know it…

“To the east of the walls, there’s a path leading to a small forest that pilgrims to the shrine take. I suggest you start there.” With that he bows for some reason, and leaves us to our own devices. Man, can people not be a complete waste of time just once in their lifetimes?

Joaquin Bell stops the fan again before he can leave, however. “Wait! We were attacked on the way here by giant wolves last night. Could you tell us what you know about them?”

The man looks a bit miffed but nonetheless answers his question. “You must have run into some Feral youkai. They’re quite common here in Gensokyo, and the main reason most outsiders don’t make it to the village in the first place.” Everyone goes a bit stiff after hearing that. Still, the man continues. “You’re extremely lucky if a few wolf youkai were all you saw, and at night at that… You’d best be on your way out of Gensokyo, or make preparations to settle down, because there’s other place for humans to go.” He turns away once more, and hurries off without so much as a farewell; I guess his patience finally reached its limit.

Still, that is some…grim information. We might be even worse off than I thought if two of our only options are to live in this mess, or get eaten by those freaks of nature. We haven’t tried the Hakurei person yet though, so I’m hoping they can sort all this bullshit out and send us home already.

“Well should we set out for the shrine then?” S.C says with impatience. “The sooner we get this done, the better for us right?” Not wrong, I guess…

“Are you guys sure?” Joaquin Bell retorts. “We’ve seen what it’s like outside the village, and apparently we still got pretty lucky with what we encountered on our way.” True. They both have some good points man, what should I vote for?

“Um…” Nomura’s speaking? Well, more like shouting in his current excitement. “I think, maybe we should check out the shrine first. Reimu could send us home if that man was telling the truth!” This moron is gonna get us killed some day, I swear. “Uh, guys… Did I say something weird?”

“Nomura.“ S.C hisses, what the hell? “What, did you just say?” Woah, he’s grabbing the Brazilian from the hoodie. “Are you trying to get us killed!” Ok this is getting out of hand… I raise my military shovel above my head to whack some sense into the meathead, but Joaquin Bell beats me to it.

“Hey! Calm down S.C, what’s gotten into you?” He’s struggling a bit to separate Nomura from the grab. “Put him down, dude.” I swing the blunt side of my weapon at his skull, and a metallic ting echoes weakly through the air; doesn’t seem like it did much to him, but at least he let go of Nomura.

“Chill out, man.” What’s your fucking problem S.C? “What’s the big idea this time?” Oh shit. he’s turned around, and he looks pretty pissed off too. Out of reflex my unoccupied arm starts lowering to my pocket-

“Goddamnit, can you idiots breathe for a second before we get arrested?” Oh, right. We’re still in the village. S.C’s a bit calmer too thankfully, so I guess I don’t have to catch a body today… “Firstly; S.C, what the fuck was that?”

“Nomura doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.” Not wrong, but kind of mean don’t you think? “If anyone finds out that we know Touhou, they’re gonna kill us!” Isn’t that a bit far?

“Okay, I get what you’re saying. But seriously, keep things civil next time.” Joaquin Bell snaps his gaze to me next. “As for you, Joe. Don’t beat someone over the fucking head with a shovel the next time you need to defuse a situation!” Hey, it worked didn’t it? “If you do that again I’m taking your shovel away, got it?” Man, I give up.

“Fine. Sorry.” I’m pretty bad at apologizing, but thankfully he seems to accept it all the same. “Now…uh back to topic.” I raise my hand and continue. “My vote’s on the shrine plan too.” And that settles the decision, three to one. Joaquin Bell doesn’t look too thrilled about it, but he better stick to his own rules if he wants to keep playing leader.

“Alright then, the shrine it is…” Finally, thank god! “So then, let’s go now I guess? We’re burning daylight anyways.” I nod along; sounds like a plan to me.

We bumble through the rest of the village trying to retrace our path from last night, and dealt a gracious helping of luck, the four of us now stand facing the gate. Joaquin Bell is talking it out with the guards, who soon allow us to exit the village.

“Finally.” I stretch out my limbs, pleased by the pops that follow as I continue my bitching. “I thought they were trying to fucking deport us or something with all that hassle.”

“Lay off a bit, man.” Joaquin Bell, you should be agreeing with me dumbass! You literally dealt with them first-hand. “They had to make sure we didn’t just go out and get ourselves killed, and I would’ve stopped us too if I saw the shit we were lugging around…” Man, this guy.

“We’ll be fine, big guy.” See? S.C gets it! “Even if those youkai show up again, they won’t be able to sneak up on us this time.” Yeah, someone’s smart here at least.

“Well, whatever.” Joaquin Bell waves it off quickly as he turns to the path ahead. “Let’s just go already.” We follow quickly behind him; we gotta be back before dark after all. The jungle worthy oceans of foliage are as unruly as ever, but the path here is much more well kept; perks of being one of the only shrines in Gensokyo I guess… “Also, a question guys.” Huh? Oh, he’s still going. “I’m guessing you all know what the ‘Touhou Project’ is right?” What? How would we not?

“Duh, we know what Gensokyo is.” The other two guys nod along with me. “But we should be really quiet about it. No clue what might happen if anyone finds out…” Nothing good I think.

“I don’t want to get killed by Yukari man.” S.C adds. “So you better keep your mouth shut Nomura, if you don’t want to get gapped to snake hell…” I know she’s bad, but is she that bad man? I wonder what snake hell is, too.

“Yeah…let’s keep it on the down low.” Joaquin Bell turns his head back to the path. “I think I can see the forest too–stay sharp.” Yeah, yeah. Human or youkai, who’d be outside first thing in the morning under the afternoon sun of all places?

Still not as hot as home though… All in all, the weather’s pretty comfortable–and it’d be perfect if the sun wasn’t so fucking bright today. I try to squint up at the sky to try and search for any cloud cover, but I only really see the damned orb of light itself up high with faint wisps of white–useless for even the slightest of shade. Actually, what is that?

“Hey, you guys see that too?” I point out the weird shape among the sparse cloud layer. “I think it’s coming towards us-” Something soars above my head with a whoosh, and strikes a bullseye on the rapidly growing figure up above. What the? 

Behind me is S.C crouched into a throwing posture with his arm outstretched; then, was that his crowbar? Before I can ask, though, the target he struck crashes into the ground behind us alongside a grating series of shrieks, soon followed by a grassy thud as it touches down. “The fuck did you just do S.C?”

Without any reply, he opts to dash past me instead–probably going to get his damn weapon–but that still leaves a slight issue; the bird he sniped is still alive. It’s screeching and thrashing around and making a massive racket, but I don’t think any of us want to risk engaging and breaking some bones… At least that was what my initial thoughts were, but the thing must have fucked up a wing or a leg or something, because it still hasn’t stopped freaking out after a good couple of minutes. Oh well, at this point I would be kind to end it’s life.

“Joe, you have a gun…right?” Nomura? The fuck does this man want now. “I think it would be better if you just shot it. I-It’s the right thing to do.” Yeah, no. I’m not wasting my ammo on this KFC chicken. Ignoring the annoying pussy’s yapping, I unsheathe my shovel. Finally, time to put it to use! 

Cautiously approaching the beast, it looks to be some kind of giant grey (or more of a blue-ish gray I guess) eagle–probably a cakewalk now that it can’t take to the skies. With the analysis done, I ready my weapon and charge head-first; the first swing meets its injured wing, and the second strikes it across the skull. 

More unholy noises leave its beak as it tries to retaliate, only to take another strike to the face. Before I can follow up, however, a pan slams into the creature’s chest and it redoubles its struggle. “OW!” A hearty talon swing catches Nomura right across the face, and he falls back into a short roll–still clutching the side of his now bleeding face. Can this guy get any more uncool?

More competent help isn’t too far behind thankfully. Joaquin Bell slams into the creature’s back exposed during the earlier close quarters combat, dagger now half embedded deep into its flesh–but still not deeply enough to kill it, apparently. If only S.C didn’t just fuck off man…

“Joe!” The dagger wielder calls to me. “Get it to stay still for a minute, I have an idea.” Any idea is better than none, so no real harm in trying it out I guess. I unleash another flurry of blows while praying for the beast to miss its own, and the plan actually starts working; the thing is barely able to keep up with the pain train I’m dishing out, and its back is left positioned at a nice open angle–but unfortunately my body simply can’t keep up with being pushed to its limits twice.

A misstep is all it takes and a slap from its uninjured wing blindsides me, sending my ass sprawling into the dirt as the beast skulks above me eager for a pecking. Man, am I really going to die for making a single fucking mistake? No. I’m not taking this bullshit lying down! Reaching for my pocketed gun, I twist over to unsheathe it just as a jagged beak digs into the earth–mere centimeters from my chest.

My hands are shaking and I don’t know if I can even land a lethal shot, but I raise my gun out of necessity. The effort is rendered futile soon after as the bird of prey stumbles with a shriek of confused anguish, struggling to shake off whatever had stuck to it before abruptly collapsing moments after its final cry.

It starts falling apart into… fucking coins? “Ow, shit!” And Joaquin Bell lands ass-first right in the middle of the pile. What the fuck man. “W-We actually won a fight for once…”

“What the fuck did you do to the bird?” I ask after struggling to my feet. Another bullshit ability to worry about? “And why didn’t you tell us about this?” We could have gotten a proper meal for breakfast if you coughed this shit up before!

“Woah, woah. I literally just found out I could do that at the same time as you!” Even he has to know that’s not very convincing at all. “I just got an idea with the dagger. So, I tried to backstab the eagle–but the blade didn’t go all the way through before I was knocked off.” He’s rubbing his waist; guessing he must’ve bruised it when he fucking body slammed the chicken. “Took me a bit to get back up, but when I tried to push the blade deeper it just burst into money for some reason.” Huh, well isn’t that convenient. “Just my luck,” He leans down to grab one of the coins. “It turned into yen of all things.”

“First Nomura, now you.” I shake my head. “What is this unfair fucking system man…” Is S.C gonna start talking to animals or something next? Will I even get anything useful beyond a gun with just six bullets?

Our conversation is interrupted by the man himself jogging up to us, crowbar in hand. “Hey guys. You good?” The nerve of this fucker. “Sorry, I had to get my crowbar.” I’m going to shove it up your ass I swear…

“O-Oh, is it finally over?” Ok where the fuck are you people coming from? “I thought we were done for…”

“And where the fuck were you asshole?” I point an accusing finger at Nomura. “You just got your face fucked up and ran off! What right do you have to talk about how hard it was?” Now that he’s stopped covering it, the wound isn’t even that bad! To think he was screaming his head off about something like this.

“Hey, lay off!” Oh shut it. You weren’t there either! “He’s trying isn’t he?” How would you know? This Sean fellow is really full of himself…

“You weren’t there, idiot.” I get up in his face. “We could have used your ass in that fight. Where the fuck were you?” I don’t care what Joaquin Bell says, this guy needs to be taken down a notch. My arms are a bit tired, but I can still take this fucker on.

“G-Guys! Stop fighting!” S.C gets pulled back, and I feel arms wrap around me a moment later too; Joaquin Bell drags me away from the conflict, and Nomura does much the same for S.C, though it looks more like he’s the one dragging the twink along. “Just calm down…”

“We literally talked about this!” Don’t lecture me asshat! He’s just trying to look cool after doing nothing. “Come on. We don’t have time for this, unless you want to get jumped by another super predator?” He lets me go, with a word of warning. “If either of you two starts shit up again so help me…”

And so we continued our pilgrimage to the shrine, thankfully without any more youkai attacks. But as luck would have it, S.C ends up my travelling partner again–and he does not know how to shut up. He keeps bringing up random topics despite my minimal (and very unwilling) input, and whenever the conversation finally dies off, another springs up within fucking minutes!

It’s a good thing that we got to the forest when we did, because crowbar or no crowbar, I was ready to open this idiot’s skull! The forest isn’t too dense compared to what I was expecting, and the trees look fairly normal too. To be honest I was expecting something more… Holy? Well, whatever. The shrine’s already in sight, so I take my brain off autopilot as we begin to ascend the small flight of stairs leading into the weird gate thing at the top.

A girl dressed in red and white clothes, and adorned with a giant bow is outside sweeping the grounds; upon our arrival her head immediately turns to us, dark brown eyes scrutinizing the situation from afar. She mumbles something along the lines of ‘Visitors’ or so, before dropping the rake and hurrying over to us.

“Good morning visitors!” She comes to a stop before us and bows. “Welcome to the Hakurei Shrine! Please consider leaving a donation.” Oh, wait. I don’t have any money on me do I? Shit, what do I– “Though you guys do seem like outsiders, judging by the strange clothes.” She deflates with a sigh. Man, now I feel bad…

The awkward moment is interrupted by the sounds of footsteps–along with the jingles of cold hard cash–and both Reimu and I snap our gazes to the image of Joaquin moving towards the donation box near the building itself. He takes a handful of coins from his already bulging pocket, and after counting for a second or two, drops in a good dozen or so coins. Reimu’s eyes light up in joy and her expression immediately shifts to that of immense relief. “Oh? Thank you very much for your patronage!” She bows again, and rises with a lot more vigor than before. 

“So then, you’re outsiders right?” She looks us up and down a couple of times. “I believe I know what you are here for then?” Oh, right. She sends outsiders home kind of regularly right? “Going home, that is.”

“Yes, we came here to see if you could help us get home.” Joaquin steps back to the small gathering at the gate, a friendly smile adorning his face. “We’d be really grateful if you could miss…?” Oh–I get it.

“Oh, how rude of me!” She chuckles lightly and brings her hands together, as her face faintly flushes with embarrassment. “My name is Reimu Hakurei. Pleasure to meet you!”

“I’m Joaquin Bell, and likewise.” Bell offers a hand in greeting–which the miko hesitantly shakes–before continuing, “These are my companions. Joe, Nomura, and… Sean.” He points to each of us respectively, and we nod in turn.

“I see. Well then, let me send you all on your way.” She takes a step back–eyes closed– and begins to wave her rod in some weird motion, yet nothing happens.

A few more seconds pass in silence before Reimu opens her eyes, somehow surprised to see our asses still here. “That should have worked! W-Why are you people still here?” Oh, what?

“Is there an issue miss Reimu?” Joaquin looks a bit nervous too, and I don’t blame him; this is some big shit to happen out of the blue.

“Um, don’t worry! Let me just try this again…” Another replay of the gohei routine, and still no results. Now I’m getting kind of worried too… “What the hell? Why isn’t it working?” Are you kidding me right now?

“Ah… So, apologies but there appears to be an issue with the barrier today.” She bows, looking a bit worried. “I’ll sort it out, don’t worry!” She offers a stiff smile. “But until then… I ask for your patience.” So we’re just stuck here for at least a while. Just great! (And I can’t even use STEAM here!)

Joaquin, yet again, takes the initiative and bids the shrine maiden farewell before we depart for the village. “...Well, that was a bust.” No shit, man. “Suppose we’ll have to wait a while, then?”

“How long are we talking?” S.C broaches the question on all of our minds. “I don’t have any money on me right now.” Oh wait, shit. I quickly pat myself down for any cash, but the only things I have on me are my shovel and gun.

“Me neither.” I’m kinda fucked aren’t I? Though I don’t think Nomura has much either. “What’s the plan then, guys? I’m guessing Bell is the only one with anything on him right now.” He better share too.

“Yeah, but I don’t have all that much. Especially if we’re all going to be living off of it.” Not good, then. “In short, we’re gonna need jobs?” A fucking job?

“Like what, work the fucking fields?” Absolutely ridiculous. He doesn’t look like he’s joking though… “But fine. If you’re so serious about it then I guess I’ll see.” I’m not even an adult yet, man.

“Yeah, we should all probably look for some work.” Bell suggests. “Extra cash is never a bad thing, and we might have to wait for quite a while if the barrier ends up being a bigger issue.” His piece said, the man puts all his effort into increasing his pace. I suppose that signals the end of the discussion?

The sun, thankfully, is still a good way from setting by the time we return–thank god–and after a quick inspection by the guards, the inside of the village greets us once more. We all exchange a nod before each going our separate ways; after all, the job hunt won’t happen by itself.

Man. I didn’t really notice when the other idiots were here, but now all the stares of these villagers are starting to feel unnerving. Whispers tickle at my ears–just too low to decipher–and the sparse traffic of the residents seems to flow almost uncannily away from my path. I guess they’ve never really seen a vietnamese guy, huh?

Traversing the maze that was this place, I ended up stumbling into a farmer’s market or some shit, which was pretty good for me! The whole alien routine was pissing me off pretty badly by then, though, so I might not have been the most composed during my interactions with the shopkeepers...

“Good day. Are you a farmer?” The first vendor I talk to takes a minute to stare before replying, smiling nervously all the while. “I am looking for a job.”

“Good day, young man. So you say you want to work?” I nod vigorously, all out of patience at this point. “Well, I wouldn’t mind another pair of hands tending to the fields.”

“Oh. I see.” That easy? I guess it is just field work, but I still wasn’t imagining something this soon. “Uh, if it’s okay… Could I also ask for my companions? There’s like four of us, and they don’t have jobs either.” Really hope I’m not overstepping with this one.

“Yes, of course!” The farmer guy doesn’t seem annoyed thankfully. He looks pleasantly surprised, if anything. “Come over to the gate tomorrow morning, and bring your friends. I’ll get you lot started.” Well, alright.

“Understood.” I awkwardly try to imitate the bow Reimu did for us. Gotta show respect to my new boss. “Thank you sir. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The guy waves me off with a chuckle, so I guess I fucked it up somehow, but with my objective finished I quickly depart for the gate area.

Of course, I get there to find not a soul waiting for me. I guess I did finish a bit earlier than expected though, so it's not their fault entirely… With that I get to standing in wait like a good group member, trying to focus on something to keep me entertained in the meantime. The odd person or two going about their business is kind of interesting, but the second I make eye contact with anyone they start rushing to leave. It feels kind of hurtful, not gonna lie.

To distract myself from the stupid feelings, I pull out my pistol to finally give it a good inspection. Looks to be a model M1911, and in pretty good condition too! The weight still feels pretty alien in my hands; it’s definitely a bit hard to keep steady–and I’m definitely gonna need to train if I want to be able to shoot anything before entering melee range–but the rush of just holding it, feeling every masterful groove, is intoxicating. The barrel looks nice and slick, the magazine reassuringly weighted, and the shine of the bullets adorning it–

“Hey Joe!” A hefty thump on my shoulder snaps me right out of my train of thought, and in panic I nearly fucking drop the mag. “The hell are you doing?” Quickly sliding it back into the magazine well, I turn to face the annoying fucker brazenly interrupting my peace.

“Why the fuck are you here already?” I wasn’t here for more than like twenty minutes. There’s no way he managed to also find a job this quick, and without running into me earlier. “Actually, where’s the other two?”

“Oh, uh… I don’t actually know.” He shrugs. “They were just walking around and looking at random shit in the market.” So they found the marketplace… “I don’t know if they were trying to get info or whatever, but it was boring as hell, so I thought I’d wait for you instead!”

“Just great.” I really hope those idiots can get here soon. I’ve had more than enough of S.C for a fucking lifetime by now. “While you were busy fucking around, I got us jobs.”

“Yeah–” He jolts for an instant before turning to me (why couldn’t I stay quiet?) with wide dopey eyes. “You what? For all of us?” My nod only serves to set him off, as he continues blabbering more of his inane nonsense. Wonderful turn of events, isn’t it?

I try to tune him out of course, but even my iron will starts to give out after god knows how many minutes of his non-stop bullshit. The man jumps topics so fast that even I don’t have a clue as to what he’s on about, and by the time the other two return with some food I am close to lobotomized from the mental strain. A quieter lunch thankfully follows, and after relaying news of my splendid success, Joaquin just outright declines the offer.

“I’m not really good with farm work, honestly.” Yeah, I get it fatass. No need to justify it. “Don’t worry though, I’ve got it all figured out.” Well, If he says so… I’ll have to trust the man.

“I haven’t done any farming either…” Nomura adds his two cents. “But how hard could it be, right?” True, probably just some watering and shit. But still, that would be kind of tiring.

“I guess.” I finish the last of my apple before spitting out the seeds. “The guy said he’d wait for us at the gate, early in the morning.” Then we can finally get to grinding some cash.

“Oh, that’s good!” Nomura also seems to be finished with his share, rubbing his tummy with a small palm. “We should get an early rest, then… The early bird gets the worm!” I guess so, but did you have to use that weird phrase? Well, if you’re right then you’re right I suppose.

With a nod I rise from my seat on the ground, turning to my fellow bums. “I’m pretty tired. I think I’ll sleep early.” And so, back to our previous den I go. The alley–thankfully still empty–shades me from the slowly waning rays of the setting sun, and as I get comfy against the wall of a building, sleep rushes to claim me.

Good night…

Chapter Text

Rise and shine! My eyes flutter open to greet the not-so potent shine of the early morning sun, illuminating the alley I’ve spent two whole days resting in. From what little I can immediately see, it appears that I am once again the last to wake. No biggie, thankfully; I don’t have to clock in this early on a weekend.

Patting down my brand-new satchel, I reach for the dagger resting beside me before rising to my feet. Several yawns end up leaving me during my morning stretch routine, and I’m left wiping the drool off my face as I leave the alleyway. Never really been much of a morning person…

“Look who’s finally up.” Joe calls out to me as I emerge, catching the carrot he tosses towards me. Guess Nomura was feeling veggies today? “Get your fill fast, we’re gonna be going soon.”

“Yeah yeah, good morning to you too.” I grumble, responding to Sc and Nomura’s greetings in kind before another yawn hits me. “Don’t know how you guys can stand waking up this early every day…”

Biting down on the plant I was given, I try to make some conversation. “So when are you guys getting off work?” The carrot tastes surprisingly good, definitely on the more bearable side flavour-wise. “Because my shift might stretch a bit into the evening.”

“They’ll let us go when we finish all our work for the day, probably?” Nomura suggests with uncharacteristic confidence. “It shouldn’t take too long in that case I’m sure!”

Whatever, not like we’re gonna get lost if our shifts are off by an hour or two. “Alright then.” I relent, getting up. “Mind if I come with you guys, then? I wanna see what you’re gonna be doing.” Gesturing to Nomura for some more food, we start making our merry way to the village gates as I finish the rest of my breakfast on-the-go.

A few minutes later–and with another couple of raw snacks eaten–we reach the fields on the outskirts of the village walls. Workers can be seen bustling to-and-fro all throughout the growing crops, tending to them or otherwise transporting items. Talk about a rigorous schedule!

Turning to my merry band of idiots, I can’t help but ask. “Are you guys sure you’ll manage?” Sc I could understand, but Joe and Nomura I’m not so sure about…

“Yeah, like we have a choice, wise guy.” Joe retorts, already marching forwards like a soldier to a battlefield. “Worry about yourself.”

“We’ll be fine. Go do your job.” Sc reassures me… I think? But the guys are right about getting a move-on, so with one last wave I retreat back into the village itself.

“Good to see you did the smart thing. Not sure fieldwork would have suited a man of your caliber…” The guards are assholes, too. Great to know. Thankfully I shouldn’t have to interact with them much where I work, but that’s still a few hours away. What to do in the meantime…

Ruminating on the subject, my legs start taking me across the village to see the sights–and quite a lot of them at that. The market is as lively as ever, even this early in the day, and there’s a delicious looking selection of fried or baked goods on sale. If I’m gonna be living on my own, I’m probably going to be eating most of my meals here… Therefore, I should at least sample what the best dishes for a cheap meal would be!

And with that I approach the first stall to peruse its wares; just some round balls of what looks like bread with some toppings. “Excuse me, sir.” I call for the shopkeeper’s attention. “What is this dish called?”

“Oh, this is known as takoyaki. Only 600 yen a dozen! Though, I assume you’re an outsider?” At my nod he lets out a hearty chuckle. “Thought so! You don’t see such healthy folk roaming these parts of the markets this early after all, and your clothes might as well be a dead giveaway.” He thrusts one of the takoyaki things forward, and drops it onto my palm. “Here, on the house. It might not look like much, it’s good I tell you!”

Taken aback, I mumble a simple “Thank you.” before taking a large bite out of the ball. The inside is packed with flavour; a faint taste of onion and spices, mixed with some unfamiliar but decent tasting meat. I wolf the rest down in an instant, as the shopkeeper watches in amusement.

“Do come by next time you’ve got something affordable in mind for lunch!” And so he waves me farewell, and I reciprocate before continuing my exploration. Food can wait for later; I’m more curious about the layout, honestly.

The houses mostly seem to be built almost anywhere with free space, and the market district is about where you’d expect, near the center of the village. But moving past it, what seems to be a some sort of mine is situated within the village walls for some reason. Isn’t that a safety hazard or something? Thank god I work at the other side of the village…

Speaking of work, it’s almost noon–barely an hour from the start of my shift–so I’d better get going. The walk alone isn’t too time consuming since I’ve gotten somewhat familiar with these streets, but I still don’t wanna risk making a bad impression on my first day, so I set off for the book store.

“Holy shit…” I pant, hands on my knees. I really need to exercise more! If a ten minute jog alone can get me this fucked up what am I going to do if I get chased again? Let’s not think about that, actually…

“Good afternoon, young man.” An elderly voice greets me, and I realize I collapsed in full view of a random old lady. “What’s got you in such a hurry?”

“Ah, yeah! Well…” I can practically feel my face burning at this point from my dumbass stuttering. “Y-you see, I’m a new hire here! Today was my first day and I lost track of time.” I end with a nervous chuckle.

Thankfully the granny seems to take it in stride. “Well, now! That’s quite a pleasant surprise. I visit the store from time to time, and the young lady is always working by herself. It puts my heart at ease to know she’ll finally have some help in running the place.” She ends with a kind smile that I can’t resist, as my own joins in soon enough.

“Rest assured Ma’am.” I quickly give a short bow. “I’ll do my best to look after her!” That seems to be enough for the old lady, and I take a moment to catch my breath before approaching footsteps break the silence.

“Good afternoon mister Bell! And missus Kobayashi too!” A young girl joins us. With her chestnut coloured hair tied into pigtails–and donning a yellow apron over a checkered kimono–this girl is my co-worker and new boss, Kosuzu Motoori. “I’m glad to see you’re punctual, at the very least! Help me open up, and I’ll start showing you what your duties are.”

Sounds good to me. With a nod I follow her into the place proper, missus Kobayashi trailing close behind. Inside, bookshelves line every wall, each packed with books both old and new, with the counter situated to the left of the entrance opposite of even more bookshelves forming aisles within the building. All in all, it’s a pretty impressive collection; I’m more surprised that she maintains everything by her lonesome though.

“First order of business, the store needs a good cleaning.” Kosuzu’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts, just in time to catch the handle of the broom she shoves into my chest. “So, get to it, recruit!” With that she starts cleaning up the several books littering the sales counter. Missus Kobayashi simply waits patiently, so I leave her to Kosuzu and begin making my rounds.

There’s not too much to clean for the floor itself, but the bookshelves are pretty damn dusty. I can’t do much more than polish them with the rag I was given, and in the meantime I browse through the store’s wares. Most of them seem pretty foreign, but there are some titles that stand out.

An old ass rendition of Red Riding Hood is tucked in between a book titled ‘Chronicle of Fredegar’, and some worn cookbook, while another called a “testament” of patriarch whatever is on a different shelf buried with an unholy amount of similarly incomprehensible titles. Does no one organize this shit?

Another twenty something minutes of cleaning pass, and my arms feel numb from the work by the time I approach the counter to ask Kosuzu for my next task. “Oh, good. You’re done!” She glances over at me. “You’ll have to work a bit faster next if you want this place ready, but you can just man the checkout for now.”

“Got it, boss.” I take a seat on the worn chair at the checkout counter, getting ready for the few customers making their way in. “Anything else I have to do?”

“Not really. You’ll just have to tidy up the place, and I can handle closing.” Comes the response. “I’ll be in the back if you need me.” Hopefully I won’t have to.

Might as well get it over with now. “Actually…” I turn on my seat to face the girl. “I had an issue I wanted to bring up.”

“Well, what is it?” Kosuzu asks with a tilt of her head. “Something urgent?”

“Uh, kind of.” I can’t back out now. “So, I’m an outsider like I told you. Which means I don’t really have a place of my own.” The further along I go the worse it sounds, but I keep pushing onwards. “I was kind of hoping, if you could be so kind as to let me stay here…?”

At her conflicted expression I quickly amend my request. “I’ll take care of opening and closing, and I’ll make sure the place is spotless!” I promise, more and more unsure of my fate with each passing second.

Finally, after a small eternity of contemplating, my employer chooses to speak. “I’ll…have to think about it.” She fixes me with a slightly impatient look next. “If that’s all, I’d like you to get back to work now.”

Oh thank god. “Yes boss!” I quickly realign myself to properly face the counter, as the door behind me shuts with a thud. Time to brush up on my customer service skills, I suppose.

Someone save me. In between the occasional prying remarks from a customer, and the sheer voids of activity in between, this job is one of the most mind numbing experiences I’ve had to suffer in a while. I’ve tried tidying up the place during lulls in customer flow, but even that starts to get grating after a couple of rounds. Most of these guys don’t even buy any books; they just show up to grab a newspaper and leave after dropping the cash. I’ve really gotta ask Kosuzu if I’m allowed to read something during my shift…

 The monotony is thankfully cut through by the gracious arrival of a customer. A young woman with short black hair and…red eyes? Wearing a brown cap, along with a pair of shorts and a similarly coloured coat, with a fucking tie of all things. Her expression shifts to surprise upon spotting me, before she approaches the checkout desk.

“Hello!” A hand unnecessarily waves in my face. “Excuse me, but could I ask where miss Kosuzu Motoori is? I have some urgent business to discuss.” Huh, urgent business?

“She’s in the back.” I get up, motioning for her to hold on. “Let me go get her for you.” Opening the door, Kosuzu herself seems to be engrossed in a book, taking a moment to register my entrance. “There’s a lady at the front who says she has ‘urgent business’ with you.”

At my words the girl seems to jolt into attentiveness. “Oh, right!” She scrambles out of her seat, and reaches the door before stopping. “I’ll just bring her in here to talk. You can go back to work until we’re done.” Oh, joy.

I follow her instructions and try to wait out their discussion of whatever, but there’s literally nothing left to do by now. No more customers are showing up, and I really don’t want to start cleaning again. Actually, I think I’ll check out one of those newspapers myself. Grabbing one from the rack, I start going through headlines and random small columns. The sentences barely make any reasonable sense to my exhausted brain, but the simple act itself is better than nothing, and before I know it, the back room opens to reveal Kosuzu and her client.

Now that I get a good look at her, she seems pretty well dressed compared to most of the people I’ve seen come in here. And when she tips her hat in farewell I see it; sharp, pointy ass ears! I can probably hazard a guess as to who it is, but what the hell is she doing here is what I wanna know.

“It’s been a pleasure, miss Motoori. I look forward to our meeting next week!” The tengu woman bids farewell and makes her exit, leaving Kosuzu to linger a second before catching my eye.

“I’ve made my decision.” She says with a worryingly stern expression. “I suppose you could sleep here, but if I find you leaving a mess or slacking off, you’re going straight out.” Well that’s a relief. “Understood?” I receive a glare.

“Yes, boss.” I respond, still riding the high of having an actual roof to sleep under. “I’ll keep everything tidy, promise.” Can’t wait to pass out without half freezing for once.

“Good!” Her carefree demeanor returns. “You’ll be opening and closing the store then, sound good?”

“Sure.” That’s well and all, but one question still remains chipping away at my mind. “By the way, boss. Why did that woman have pointy ears?”

All I get in response is a sweet smile. “Have you cleaned the newspaper rack yet?” What?

“Huh?” What does that have to do with-

“You can close the place when you’re done.” She tosses the key to the store, letting it clatter noisily on to the counter. “Good luck!” And with that, Kosuzu hurries out before I can follow up on my question, leaving me with more cleaning before I can clock out. Just fantastic.

Well, she did mention meeting next week. I can probably get some answers then. In the meantime though, I should really get to closing; I’m pretty sure the others are done already, and I really don’t wanna lag behind again. Giving the place a quick rundown, I put my newspaper back and quickly go about tidying up the bookshelves–as well as getting rid of any leftover dust I missed–before locking the door behind me as I leave.

“Man, that sucked.” I stretch out some of the soreness in my muscles, sighing in relief at the popping of joints. Now to meet up with others… I begin trudging through the early evening streets, surprisingly not encountering a single person on the relatively short walk to our group’s rest alley–former rest alley for me thankfully. There is somehow no sign of any of the others; didn’t they say they’d be done by now? Eh, whatever. I’m getting hungry as hell, might as well grab something to eat while they get here.

So began my journey to backtrack to the village market. I’m getting pretty sick of walking by now, but it’s worth it when I reach the takoyaki guy’s stall. “This is amazing.” I manage to speak out in between the ravenous bites I keep taking out of the delicious balls of goodness.

The stall owner seems to be enjoying my reaction, judging by the hearty chuckles leaving his windpipe. “Slow down, there! I’m not going out of business, you know?” Still, I’m too hungry to think straight right now, and this food has no right to be this good for the price I got it for.  “So…” The shopkeeper's drawl catches my attention, and I turn to him while working through another takoyaki ball. “How’s your day been? I assume you’ve hopefully found some work?”

“Well, yeah.” Customer service of all things, too. “I got one working under that bookstore, Suzunaan.” With an exhausted sigh I recall the mind numbing work. “It’s boring as all hell, sitting in one place for hours. But I can’t really complain much if it puts food on the table, you know?”

He gives a sage nod before pointing to himself. “I get that a lot. It’s not like I resent this work, but it’s hard–getting barely any time with my own son most days.” His gloomy expression lingers for a moment, before shifting back to cheer. “But enough about me! How have you been settling into the village?”

Now that gets a chuckle out of me. “Honestly? It’s been a pretty crazy mess so far.” Barely three days in this place, and I’ve already come close to dying almost just as many times. “The day the others and I got here, we got chased halfway to the village by a pack of wolf youkai. And then the next day, when we go to see the Hakurei miko, guess what? On the way there, an eagle youkai descends upon us!” I pause to assess the stall owner’s reaction, glad to find him as flabbergasted as I was throughout the whole shitshow.

“How did you even get away?” Good question, man; I wonder too. “There’s no way you could have outran the eagle.”

“That’s the best part. We actually killed it! While my buddy was fending it off head on, I managed to get it from behind.” I remark, finishing the last of my dinner. “And speaking of my buddies, I’ve got to meet up with them after their work ends–which should hopefully be soon.” While bidding farewell to the shopkeeper, though, a question springs up in my mind. “By the way, shopkeep. What’s your name?”

“It’s Nakamura. What about yours young man?” Mister Nakamura inquires, and I suppose it would be impolite of me to not reciprocate.

“Call me Bell, sir.” I respond, giving him a bow. I think I’m getting pretty good at this! “I’ll be seeing you then, take care.”

“You too, mister Bell!” And with that I’m off again, right back to our alley. It’s starting to get dark, so I end up rushing again–at a slower jog than last time. Surely they would be done by now, right?

Wrong. I probably spent a good half an hour or so fucking around, and they still aren’t done? What could they possibly be doing? Entering the relative shade of the alleyway, I start digging through the random junk tossed back here, soon coming across my–now filthy–dagger. Gross hiding place, but even I’ve got to admit it was a clever one.

Now sufficiently armed for any unpleasant turns my evening could take, I make my way towards the gates again. I can feel the stares of random passersby bore into me, but safety is still my top priority, no matter how deranged I might look in the process. “Changed your mind?” Why is this moron still here? Do they not have shifts or what? “Might want to come back tomorrow then.”

“No, I actually came to check up on the other guys.” I shoot back without hesitation. Best to stay civil... “They’re still not back and it’s getting pretty late.”

“They’re likely a bit overwhelmed.” The other one chimes in. “The workload is something to get used to, but they’ll probably get used to it within a week or two.” Huh… I guess I can see that, especially considering how far the fields extend.

“Um, would it be alright for me to check on them?” I still have to inform them of my change in living conditions.

“Yes, sure. Go ahead.” The first guard replies. “Not like there’s much work to disturb by now.” Well that’s a relief.

With a quick wave of farewell to the duo, I made my way through the crops poking out of the farmland, and further into the fields. They truly are massive, extending almost as far as the eye could see in the waning sunlight; one has to wonder the sheer amount of work that went into planting the crops and tilling all the soil, and from dawn to dusk no less.

While I ponder more pointless queries on my trek, my eyes scan the earthy terrain for any sign of my targets. There’s a handful of people still working here and there, but unfortunately it’s gotten next to impossible to tell each worker apart by now.

Thankfully I don’t end up needing to. “Come on guys!” I hear a familiar voice exclaim a ways away, continuing as I approach. “This is a basic manga plot! We just have to finish this initiation, then they’ll start giving us normal work.” What is the manlet on about?

“Shut the fuck up, and help us finish this shit!” Joe barks out in frustration, not that I blame him. Those sacks look pretty heavy, and judging by the smell, not fun to handle… “Your mouth keeps running faster than your damn legs.”

Sc, meanwhile spots me and motions for myself to come closer. “Thank god you’re here Joaquin; I can’t keep doing this alone. My back is starting to hurt from all this lifting, and these two being so annoying isn’t helping.” Thank god I got an actual job, instead of this slave labour. I’ll take retail over shit handling any day of the week.

“Yeah, looks like it.” I sympathise, though come to think of it… “Was Nomura this talkative before?” I don’t think I’ve heard him put together more than a couple of sentences at a time so far. “He doesn’t even talk during breakfast nine times out of ten.”

“Man, I don’t know.” Sc retorts while scattering generous sums of manure across the fields while we walk away from the other two. “He won’t shut the fuck up for more than like, five minutes.” A bit ironic for you to be saying that, isn’t it? “He keeps saying the dumbest things too, and then Joe starts screaming at him for talking.”

“Yikes. And I thought my day went like ass.” I should keep this place in mind the next time I feel like slacking off. “I had to work customer service from like, afternoon to sunset.”

Sc gives me an irritated look as he finishes emptying his bag of fertilizer. “Gee, sounds real hard to sit around inside all day while I’ve been breaking my back out here since morning.”

“Yeah, sorry.” I raise my hands in surrender, just in case, before continuing. “I guess our schedules aren’t going to align for a while then?” Might be a good thing for me, honestly.

As we near the pile of fertilizer sacks, I notice with a bit of relief that pretty much all of them are empty. Sc takes note too, because he promptly falls onto his backside a bit winded. “Finally, done.” And with that the man goes quiet. Not wanting to disturb his hard earned moment of respite, I also take a seat a small distance away–so my nostrils don’t burn their fuses–and join him in appreciating the peace and quiet.

We get about three–maybe five–minutes of silence before the ruckus the other two are causing reaches our ears. Joe’s chasing Nomura while screaming incomprehensibly; even I can’t decode his accent right now. Nomura, to his credit, seems to be outrunning his assailant pretty well.

“Ah!” But not keeping his gaze in front of him apparently. The guy has a pretty nasty trip over one of the crops, and he goes skidding a ways along the ground–directly into the pile of emptied sacks of manure. “Guys, help!” Please tell me he didn’t break his ankle again.

“What’s wrong?” I approach him, to see the man floundering in search of something. “Did you lose your glasses or something?”

“Y-Yeah!” He responds, seemingly on the verge of tears. “I can’t see anything without them, man!” Oh dear, not good.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you find them.” I crouch down as well, and start moving the scattered containers in search of the damned spectacles. “Not here.” I switch locations, still to no luck. “Any luck on your end, Nomura?” I sigh as he shakes his head, getting ready for round three of getting my hands dirty again. Seriously, where the hell are these glasses?

The both of us turn the pile upside down, but the glasses seem to have up and vanished. I’m not really sure how to break the news to Nomura, though before I can really form the words, Joe chimes in. “I found it, morons.”

Turning towards the direction of his voice, I see him rising from near the spot Nomura initially tripped. “Are they broken?” I ask, first and foremost.

“Nah, they seem fine. See for yourself.” He- Holy shit he tossed the damn glasses! Thank god I manage to catch them before they hit the ground and shatter.

“Woah, dude! Why did you toss them?” That could have gone very badly, very quick. “You know he can’t just get new ones out here, right?”

“Oh, right. I forgot.” Huh? “Sorry about that.” Is this guy just slow, or something? He’s the last person who should be treating them like toys.

Well, whatever. “Here you go, man.” I offer Nomura his spectacles, and after he finishes we can finally get out of the mud, and back into the village.

“Good lord, what happened to you?” One of the sentries plugs his nose, giving Nomura the stinkeye.

“There was a mishap.” I quickly amend before any of the others tries to dig us a deeper hole. “Don’t worry, we’ll have him take a bath first thing in the morning.”

“See that you do…” With that the gates are reluctantly opened for us, and we gaze upon the interior of the village bathed once again in moonlight.

“Well, then. I think it might be a bit late, but you guys should probably get some dinner.” I say that, but are they really going to risk eating anything from Nomura right now?

My suspicions are vindicated almost immediately. “No fucking way! I’m not eating anything this stink bomb touches.” Joe’s refusal was to be expected, but Sc joining in is a bit more surprising.

“Yeah, I think I’m good.” Really, now? “I’ll eat after he takes a bath.” Actually…

“It isn’t that cold today guys. What if he takes a bath right now?” Not like I’m that sleepy anyways. “It’ll save a lot of time in the morning, and no one will walk in on him right now.”

“Good idea, Bell.” Joe hurriedly spouts before anyone else can voice an opinion. “Where are we taking him?”

“Well… I do remember a river flowing into the village from when we came here.” That’ll be as good a spot as any. “I think we’ll find the place it flows out from if we go along the wall here.” Don’t want to poison the water supply after all. That’s an express route to being publicly executed.

“Got it.” And so we make our way through the darkened–and surprisingly desolate–streets, twisting and changing our route to stay near the outer wall in face of the stupidly obtuse layout of the buildings out here. A couple of times we run into a hobo or a drunk, but fortunately our numbers and the glint of my large dagger seem to deter them from coming anywhere near us.

Before long, we spot the shine of moonlight being reflected within water. “Guys, do I really have to?” Nomura complains. “That looks really cold.” He turns away from the river.

Only to get shoved by Joe. “Shut up already. I’m fucking starving, man.” It takes a second for the little guy to completely lose his footing, and a second later a hearty splash announces his entry into the chilly water.

“What the hell, dude!” He coughs out, tearing his spectacles from his face. “At least let me take these off first.” He wades over to the shore to place them before beginning his bath, still fully clothed.

Splosh Sc cannonballs in moments later, also fully clothed; not like it matters too much, I guess… “I’m not passing up a bath.” Is that really a good idea, though?

“You’re going to get sick.” I try to reason. “And you have work tomorrow, too.” As I half expected, Sc continues to give not a single fuck.

“Fine, whatever.” I heave another weary sigh. These people make me age thrice as fast, I swear. “You’re not going to jump in, right?” Staring at Joe, I silently pray.

“Hell no.” Thank god, one less person to worry about. “I’m just eating dinner and going to bed.” Oh right!

“That actually reminds me…” I pause, turning to address all three of my companions. “I’ve found a place of my own to sleep at.” Everyone freezes in shock for a bit, before the tsunami of questions makes impact.

“Where did you even find it?” Joe questions, giving me a suspicious glare. “And why just you?”

“Yeah. We’re in this together, Joaquin.” Sc chimes in with his own two cents. “Don’t just bail on us now, man.”

“Can’t you let us stay with you?” Nomura too? “We can split the rent or whatever!” Yeah right, we still haven’t even gotten our first salaries. I’d be the one who’d end up paying…

“Woah, woah. Calm down guys.” Backing a bit from joe’s venomous gaze, I explain. “My boss let me stay at the place I’m working. It was already really hard to get approval for myself, if I bring in anyone else we’re all going to be homeless again!”

“Okay, then.” Sc is the first to let up. “Just don’t ditch us, man. Or I’ll be pissed.” Yeah, yeah. Sure.

The other two reply soon after in kind, and I can already feel a headache brewing by the time the conflict settles down. “Then if we’re all done here, I’ll be going now. I have to get up early to open up the shop.” And I’m pretty sure I’ve already stayed up far later than I should have.

Exchanging a quick farewell with the rest, my journey back to Suzunaan begins. The roads are all over the place, and my own drowsiness doesn’t help matters. “God…” The moon provides little light for me to navigate, leaving me to wish I’d bought a lantern or something. Another twenty something minutes are wasted before I finally recognize where I am, and a few turns later, I stand in front of my new home.

“Home sweet home.” I mutter to myself as I lock the door behind me, giving the place a once over before laying eyes on the slightly dusty counter. I guess that’s what I get for eating an hour away instead of buying any actual necessities. Whatever, not like it’s the first time I’ve slept like this.

Getting nice and comfortable along the length of the counter, I feel my feet tip over something to the floor, but I’m really not in the mood to clean it up. Leaving it for my future self, my present self drifts into slumber–pulled away from consciousness by the exhaustion of the day’s events.

Good night world…

Chapter Text

A dull ache envelops my mind, as I begin my re-entry to the waking world. My nostrils feel a bit clogged, and as I try to breathe through my throat, a series of violent coughs begin painfully ravaging it. God, I forgot how bad a cold was… A few seconds pass, followed soon by the coughing fit, and I’m able to move again.

Getting up, I take a look around the alley; Joe and S.C are both soundly asleep, so my sleep schedule should be accurate at least, which means I should have a good ten to fifteen minutes to myself. Well, that’s good enough for me! Dusting off my hoodie, I exit our abode, thankful for the peace and quiet of the receding dawn.

As usual, I take my seat against the wall of the house, gazing at the beautifully dyed sky while I ponder the thoughts troubling my mind, like the whole Joaquin situation, and this nasty sickness I’ve caught. I don’t think we have sick days here, though I hope they might make an exception for tomorrow if I come in today and work hard. All right, that settles it, me; we’re going to give it our all! I’d strike a cool pose here, but my head is still killing me, so let’s rest for a bit. Still, what a waste of a good line…

Moving on, I wonder how Joaquin is doing now. He’s got his own place, but he’ll still keep in touch right? We still have the evenings to spend together at the very least, and I like having someone who doesn’t just bully me around. Hopefully it all works out, and maybe we can all be neighbours or room-mates someday!

The sun finishes lightening the hues of the sky to a clear uniform blue, and taking it as my cue, I start focusing my mind. The juicy purple of a plum paints a picture in my imagination, becoming fuller and more detailed with each passing instant–right until the moment it fades, depositing the fruit of my labour within my waiting hand. Breakfast is served! Bringing my palms together, I utter a quick prayer of thanks before sinking my teeth into the food.

The flavour of the sweet delight is absolute heaven to my famished palate, and only when I finish it do I remember something important; I can’t remember what happened to my frying pan! It’s not like it was that important or anything, but it probably would have been good for at least cooking stuff. I wonder if I can get lucky again and find another one in Muenzuka? Probably not… Who’d come with me anyways? I remember the place being pretty scary back when we were brought into Gensokyo.

My ruminations end as the sound of footsteps becomes prominent. Swivelling my head I prepare to begin my first social interaction of the day, as always, with Joe. “Good morning, Joe!” I greet the asian guy. Let’s hope he doesn’t feel grumpy today… I don’t want to deal with his rage this early in the morning. “Today’s breakfast is plums! Hope you don’t mind them.”

The news seems to be to his liking, as his expression brightens a tad when he catches the fruit I send towards him. “Thanks.” Is all I hear him murmur before he starts feasting. I, too, join in and indulge in a second plum, pausing to provide Joe his share as we both wolf the sweet flesh down our gullets as fast as we can.

Man, this would go great with some coffee! I should really ask around the next time we visit the market. Maybe Joaquin could take me tonight? Until then, I should probably focus on myself; this sickness is going to make it pretty hard to get through today, unless…

“Hey, Joe?” I address the moody man. “Could you help me do some of the work today? I don’t feel too hot today…” It’s worth a shot, at least.

“Hell no!” Of course he objects, what was I expecting? “I barely get through on my own, do it yourself.” Oh well. Maybe S.C could help me?

And speaking of the devil, a loud noise from the alley disrupts our conversation, soon followed by the man himself. Talk about timing! He’s been mostly nice to me–aside from that one time–so he should help, right?

“Hey, S.C.” I turn to my saviour. “Could you-” A violent eruption of coughs drowns out the rest of my sentence, and I watch with growing misery as he clutches the wall, sending spit and mucus flying with every wheeze. “What the fuck, man?” Gross!

Powering through the fuzziness, I thrash my body away from the rapidly growing mess unfolding right next to me. Joe isn’t as lucky, however, sitting in the direction S.C was facing… His face seems stuck in shocked disgust for a few seconds, as more and more fluids strike his jacket. The perpetrator, meanwhile, wipes his face on his sleeve after finishing, before turning towards me. “Ugh, give me some food man; my stomach is killing me.” What is wrong with this slob?

The sheer audacity of his snaps his victim back to his senses, and Joe–being who he is–responds just as I feared. “What the fuck is wrong with you, bastard!” He roars in anger. “You’ve ruined my damn jacket!” I sigh at the display. Do we really have to start a fight this soon after getting up? I guess it’s good no one else is really up, then.

“Calm down, man…” S.C groans out. “My head can’t take your damn yelling right now.” If he’s sick too, it was probably the bath we took last night.

Joe–as usual–doesn’t let up that easily. “How am I going to calm down, huh?” Shut up already; we get that you’re angry. “This is the only shit I have to wear! Unless you’ve got something that won’t let me freeze to death at night?”

“Fine, you can have mine.” S.C slurs as he takes his leather jacket off, revealing a plain white T-shirt and disappointingly skinny arms drenched with a concerning amount of sweat. How the hell was he even able to lift me? “There. Happy?” He holds out the garment while taking laborious breaths, making no effort to hide the stain he made on it less than a minute ago.

Joe pauses for a moment, expression uncharacteristically concerned at the sight. “On second thought, you can keep it…” Thank God, it’s over. “You sure you want to work in that condition?” Nevermind, I guess. It’s at this point I tune out of whatever they’re still going on about, instead attempting to blow the mucus crust out of my nostrils, to limited success; I really need to buy something for this illness after work.

I think I’ve rested enough. Getting back onto my feet, the headache is much more bearable, and I don’t really feel like throwing up at a moment’s notice anymore. A full stomach really does wonders, doesn’t it?

Might as well start on work early, then. No telling when my condition will worsen again… But first thing’s first; another pair of plums are brought into the palms of my hands, and cautiously approaching S.C. I hold them at arm’s length. “I’m going to work, guys. Here’s your food, S.C.”

As soon as he takes them from me I turn around, trying my best to power walk to the gates. “I don’t even like peaches, I mean plums…” I hear the sick man complain behind me–but I pay it no mind. If he doesn’t want to eat them, then he can find his own breakfast for all I care. I’m drained enough as is.

Making the trip to the gates, one of the guards stops me for a moment. “You don’t look too good.” What gave it away, the sniffling or the sweating? “You might want to take it easy.”

“It’s alright.” I shakily blurt out. “I-I’ll be fine.” They’ve never spoken to me before, why’d it have to be now? I’m not ready for this interaction…

“Well, make sure you take it easy after work.” He releases his grip from my shoulder. “There’s some medicine you can get in the market to help with recovery.” I stiffly nod as he finishes, hurrying on before any more unwarranted social situations spring up. I can’t deal with all that, much less today.

Getting into the fields proper, though, another dilemma rears its ugly head; I don’t know what the hell we’re even doing today! Now what do I do? Usually S.C handles this part, but seeing the state of him when I left, he’s probably going to take his sweet time. Today is not my day…

I can do this; I just have to ask some– “Hey!” Holy shit! A voice behind me nearly makes me jump out of my skin, and I turn to meet another one of the workers here. He’s brown as hell, though not as much as the soil beneath, contrasting sharply with the patterned black and white hoodie he’s wearing, along with some baggy trousers and brown boots. A pair of glasses adorns on his face, along with a mustache similar to Joe’s–plus a small beard.

First Joe, now this guy. How are all these south-asians even getting here? “Why are you here?” I ask him without thinking, realizing my actions too late.

“Uh, what?” He looks a bit confused by my question. “I’d like to think I’m working.” What kind of a deflection is that?

“W-What? No, I mean what is someone like y-you doing here?” Did I miss a manga release or something? I’m pretty sure most of the village was japanese, last I checked. “You know… Like from which country are you from?”

He pauses for a couple of seconds before answering. “I’m from Pakistan, why?” Why the hell is a Pakistani here? Thankfully I don’t say that part out loud. “I don’t know what beef you have with my country, but I think fellow outsiders shouldn’t be fighting.” Wait, huh? Did he take it the wrong way?

“Oh, no I meant I wanted to know more about you!” I hope I didn’t make him uncomfortable. “Like, I’m Brazilian myself. We’re pretty much brothers!” But it would be nice to see someone who’s actually from my country for a change…

“Well, alright.” The guy responds, staring at me. “Moving on, you seemed at a bit of a loss.” Was I really that weird? “Did you want to know what we’re doing today, or?” Oh, right! This is the perfect opportunity to get info on my job today.

“Oh, y-yes actually!” I nod with all the vigor I can muster. “I’d appreciate that.” The sooner I’m done, the sooner I can relax.

Turning around, he motions for me to follow. “We’re on weed removal duty today.” Stopping for a minute to point at one of the growing sprouts the man continues. “Look for those and pull them out.”

With a nod, I crouch next to the plant–firmly grabbing hold of its stem and pulling with all my might. The weed is a stubborn one, barely yielding a centimeter or two at a time before finally breaking off with a snap–and flinging clumps of soil and fertilizer on my recently cleaned hoodie as I land flat on my ass. Ugh, I was hoping it’d stay clean a bit longer…

“Yeah, that’s why you try to pull upwards.” This guy’s still here? “Anyways, I think you can handle it from here. I’ll be going back to work.” And off he goes.

“Goodbye!” Is all I can manage within the moment, and he raises his hand for a moment in farewell. That went better than I expected! I can’t wait to tell the guys later, but for now I have a job to do. I continue to patrol in between the sprouting crops, searching for weeds to dispose of. This time, I try to pull vertically–and it does manage to cause less of a mess–but my palms do burn for a bit; by the seventh or so removal, my hands actually start aching from all the pulling. Am I really meant to do this the whole day?

You know what? This is ridiculous! No way can anyone keep doing this slave labour. Times like these call for a trump card! Feeling out my pocket, I grab a hold of a handle–before pulling out my looted knife. Its craftsmanship looks a bit suspect, not helped by the small ‘made in china’ engraved into the flat of the blade, but surely it's still sharp enough to cut through some troublesome little plants.

Grabbing another one of the unwelcome growths, I aim my blade–and with a deft flick of the wrist–the knife swishes through the air, severing the weed from its roots with a soft snap. Following it up with a small covering of earth, and none should be the wiser regarding my performance! Another weed–easily removed–joins the others within my pocket until I can find a place to dispose of them. That guy from before didn’t tell me what to do with them afterwards, but even I can guess on my own that it’s probably a bad idea to leave them here.

Man, getting to leave work before the sun sets feels amazing! It was a bit tiring still, but cutting weeds sure beats pulling them out by hand; I wonder why no one else thought of that already. Maybe they’re too poor to afford a knife for this, or they just never thought of it? I wouldn’t put it past them if the village is this much of a dump honestly.

With the open village gates coming into view, I quicken my pace–hoping to avoid any more interaction with the guards. Thankfully, none of them tries to stop me; maybe it's because I look better? I sure feel so, at least. Better to ride this high while it lasts, I decide as I near our usual spot- Why is S.C here?! The man in question greets me with a slight raise of his hand, still looking half-dead. “Hey, man. Done early too?” He went to work like this…?

“Oh God, are you okay?” I step forward until I am at enough of a distance to avoid being rude, and stay outside the impact radius in case he has another coughing fit. “You should have rested…”

“What do you think?” He tries to give me a disgusted look before being interrupted by a cough. “And I can’t. I need this job, unless you have a better idea or something.” The man punctuates the ensuing silence with a nasty spit, staining the path with more of his filthy snot; let’s hope no one steps in it before it dries.

“Well, I wouldn’t know much about jobs here. Joe’s the one who went looking.” I admit. All my experience has just been helping my dad sell stuff. Though come to think of it, maybe one of the shop owners could have a vacancy. “What about trying to find some?” Would be a fun distraction until Joaquin and Joe get here at least. “Never hurts to ask around.”

S.C perks up at the idea–thinking with an audible ‘hmm’–and moves to clap my shoulder. Painfully. “Great idea man!” How much of him is covered in snot by this point, I don’t want to consider when the subject himself is right next to me, leaving me to merely nod. “I’ll lead the way, Come on.” Mercifully, my shoulder is released–leaving me to follow the feverish lunatic leading us to God knows where.

Not sure how productive the whole trip is, but it definitely beats waiting around. Our first stop is a run-down building with a sign reading ‘brave food fee goods shop’ and an open front counter where I’d expect the door to be. No clue what the actual name means, but it does have the word shop in the title, so we stop by anyway to try our luck. The inside looks to be stocked with a good amount of ingredients, better in quality than the store exterior would suggest–though not by much in my opinion.

“It’s no good, I’m afraid.” The weary shopkeep shoots us down without hesitation. “My family is barely making ends meet, and hiring any hands would be a waste of money.” Aw man, there’s my idea gone. “You’ll do better to find work in the fields.” He suggests before continuing to needlessly rearrange his wares.

We visit several more incomprehensibly named establishments, each following the same tired song and dance; lack of funds, no need for extra hands, and some asshole even told us we just weren’t good enough to work for him. “I’m starting to think this was a waste of time.” I groan, feeling my headache slowly returning.

“Tell me about it.” S.C mirrors my tone, dragging his feet as we walk. “We might just be stuck in peasantry until we die at this rate.” Sniffling, he brings up his sleeve again and wipes his nose before continuing. “I say we should try to ask Reimu again. She’s probably done fixing whatever mumbo jumbo stopped us from going home last time.”

I’m tempted to agree with him, but the thought of leaving Gensokyo so soon feels…kind of sad. We haven’t even tried to do anything yet; learning to fly, magic, and talking to all my favourite characters. I know I want to try my luck with Kaguya at least before heading back. But I don’t know if I have the balls to confess to her… I can try to overcome my shyness before asking her out, but I don’t know any women that I could talk to for that. Maybe Reisen could be my wingman?

S.C suddenly stopping in his tracks breaks me out of my thoughts, just in time to notice the fence right in front of me. “Gah! What the hell?” Why is there a fucking crater in the middle of the village?

“What were you daydreaming about, nerd?” My companion mocks. “You nearly fell over the fence.” How is this idiot spitting so many insults when he’s this tiny? I bet I could knock his teeth out… Looking at the hole, there’s a weird contraption embedded in the ground on the opposite side of the fence, with a rope and a bucket dangling from it. I can see a ladder too, though it also seems to be fixed into the stone of the wall somehow. I wonder what this stuff’s for?

“Yeah, yeah, shut up already.”  I counter, walking over to read the warning sign next to the fence. It reads…Danger, danger, standing, enter, forbidden, stop. I must be sicker than I thought, man. “Hey S.C get over here.” I beckon to him, hoping his fever is being less disruptive than mine. “Can you tell me what this says? I can’t read well right now.”

“It says, uh… ‘Danger, danger, standing, enter, forbidden, stop’? The fuck is this, are these guys illiterate or something?” Good to know I’m not going insane, but that begs the question; what does it mean? I get that it’s forbidden at least. “Do you get any of this Nomura?” Man, wanikani did not prepare me for this.

Let’s think. There’s clearly danger, so it’s forbidden to enter; that much makes sense. Then why are the other words in there? Maybe they’re trying to explain what the danger is… “Maybe it’s trying to tell us why we’re in danger if we go in?” I wager, unsure of my own internal ramblings.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” S.C gets closer to the sign. Scrunching his face up in thought he starts muttering to himself. Something about ‘stupid kanji’ and ‘prison’, from the snippets I manage to understand. Suddenly he straightens up, pointing his finger towards the sky. “I’ve got it! It’s telling us to stay outside or we’ll have to keep walking. The ‘die’ part probably means it’s a curse or something.”

That’s… “Actually, that makes a lot of sense!” Is this man secretly a genius or something? “Though, why did they leave it open then?” Seems a bit unsafe, especially the fencing.

“Well, that’s because… They’re using it.” S.C suggests, turning to face me. “Think about it! Why would they have a ladder going down otherwise?” I guess, yeah.

“So would this be like their version of the death penalty or something?” Seems a bit cruel, but we are in medieval times to be fair. “They like, feed whatever’s down there or something like that I'm guessing.”

S.C only provides a sage nod in response. “Exactly! I knew you were a smart guy, even for a nerd.” I choose to ignore the barb at the end of his compliment. “High five!” He slaps me on the back, unnecessarily hard again. “You’re good for something at least.” Okay, you know what? That’s it.

“Get away from me, asshole!” I push him away with my right arm, rightfully pissed. “Every day Joe and you act like pricks to me, and I keep taking it because I’m nice!” I fume, fists balling in anger as my body shakes. “But you just don’t stop do you?”

The asshat has the gall to look offended of all things. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Me? What’s wrong with you is the better question. “I try to be friendly, and you get all pissy out of nowhere! Do you think you can bully me just because I’m short?” What is this guy on about? “Well think again stupid!” With that he jumps the fence, and starts climbing down the ladder- what the hell is he doing? “I’m done dealing with you!” Holy shit, he’s actually turned suicidal.

Following in his footsteps, I step over the fence, and try my best to descend at a decent pace after the man. “Hold on for a second, S.C!” I can’t just let this idiot go off and die!

“Leave me alone!” He jumps off the ladder, falling the rest of the short climb down, before booking it. I fall down after him–landing a bit more painfully due to my higher altitude, since S.C had a headstart. God that hurt…

Even with that maneuver, the head start he has on me is quickly regained when he starts full on sprinting–completely undeterred by the ceiling being this low–deeper into the chasm. Why does he want to die this bad? In his rush the man manages to bump a lantern pretty hard, and a couple of seconds later it shatters to pieces after falling onto the ground. What the hell, man?

Pausing for a second to witness the aftermath of his handiwork he starts running again. “You’re not getting me.” With that he starts slamming into every single lantern dangling across the tunnel, leaving a trail of shattered glass and metal frames littering the floor as he retreats further into the darkness. I just stare silently at what little I can see of the carnage S.C left, then into the abyss further into the cave. My thoughts all lead me to a single conclusion; I am not going in there alone.

My path out the mine is swift, with prayers along the way to avoid whatever untimely demise I might be cursed with. Nothing seems to happen though, and my nerves begin to ease by the time I finish climbing out. Danger abated, now I just need to find someone to help. Looking to the sky, it seems like sunset is starting; not sure when Joaquin gets off work, but Joe should have gotten back by now–and he’s probably the more useful one in this situation considering he has a fucking gun. With a plan ready in my mind, I sprint through the village streets, trying to reach Joe as fast as possible; who knows when S.C could end up getting hurt, or worse?

“S.C said it might be cursed, but I don’t know anymore…” I fill Joe in on what the sign means, as he squints in front of it. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re a moron.” He stands up to face me with disdain. “Why would there be a cursed tunnel in the middle of the village at all? You read too much manga and shit.” I’m too tired to even get mad at this point, saying nothing to defend myself as we continue to the ladder.  I sure hope he’s right, in any case.

An issue does present itself after we reach the bottom, however. It’s no big deal to retread the path, but when we reach the trail of darkness where S.C started his rampage of property damage, things get a bit dicey. “Joe, you got anything for light?” I ask out of obligation more than anything.

“I’m still broke, man.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. Same as me, huh? “You got any bright ideas?” Okay, that one actually gets a chuckle out of me, but Joe’s blank stare seems to imply he didn’t mean to make any puns. Kind of awkward…

“Well!” I clear my throat for a moment before continuing. “I’ve seen people use rocks and metal to make sparks before.” I leave out the part that it was just in youtube videos. “Maybe it’s worth a shot?”

“Eh, why not.” Joe raises his shovel, bringing it behind him in a swinging position. “Let’s hope this works…” If it doesn’t S.C is literally done for. He swings it so that the tip harshly scrapes the stone wall, and to our immense relief, manages to send several sparks flying!

The action does little more than dimly light the area for a split second, but the fact that it works at all is enough; we begin our slow progress, with Joe slashing at the wall every so often to keep track of anything out of the ordinary. He might as well have not bothered; the whole path was just a single damn tunnel going on and on, with barely any changes that weren’t the trail winding up and down.

The pattern continued for ten or so minutes, Joe stopping his strikes halfway due to exhaustion, so we had to watch our step extra hard; one of those lantern frames nearly sent me falling, and with all the glass littering the tunnel floor it wouldn’t have been pretty… But our efforts are finally rewarded–as a heavy thunk echoes through the cave. The both of us stop, and a few seconds later another one follows suit.

“Careful, Nomura.” Joe mutters softly. “It could be a youkai. I think we should stop lighting the place up, or we’ll be sitting ducks.” He makes a good point. If that isn’t S.C we really shouldn’t be giving ourselves away.

I nod in response, letting a second of silence pass before realizing he can’t see it. “Uh, right! Let’s go then.” I echo the sentiment, continuing on after reaching a hand out to grab Joe’s jacket.

“The fuck are you doing?” He continues walking, tone more confused than annoyed; a rarity indeed.

“Just making sure we don’t get separated." It’s pretty sound logic for any horror movie that splitting up is going to get both of our asses killed! “Y’know, in case we come across a youkai or something…” Hopefully he isn’t too pissy to deny survival tactics.

With a grunt, he seems to accept my explanation. Deeper we continue, following the rhythmic pulses of noise as they get…fainter? Shouldn’t they be getting louder or something? “Hey Joe, are we going the right way?” I gently tug at the man’s clothing.

“Man, how would I-” His response is interrupted by sounds of frantic shuffling, followed by something falling along with some angry sayings I can’t really decipher. “What the hell?” Good question.

Suddenly another voice joins the conversation, aggressively starting off with, “Who the fuck is there?” It sounds crisp and biting, like when your dad catches you playing games at three in the morning. “This is my turf, find your own spot!” I don’t know what he’s on about in the slightest, however; some kind of homeless guy?

A few seconds pass with no one speaking up, forcing me to break the ice. “U-Um, hi.” God damn it, why’d I have to start stuttering now of all times? “We d-don’t mean any trouble! We’re just looking for our f-friend. Have you seen him?” That should calm the hobo down, at least.

“Do you think I can see anything right now, smartass?” The voice thunders. “Now, what kinda youkai do ya think you are to be intruding on my turf?” Oh, shit. We’re talking to a youkai…

I hear the mechanical click of a gun–its safety coming off–somewhere before me, and just a second later the iconic sound of the slide being pulled back echoes in the darkness.

“Y-Youkai? Um r-right! You see, uh…” I try my best, but my nerves take over, stopping anything that halfway resembles a comprehensible answer. Can you blame me? I’m scared, man.

The man pauses for a moment before choosing to respond. “Humans, huh?” I hear something shuffle slowly towards us. “Well, that makes this real simple!” And- Holy shit! He lunges, something I realize only after hearing the sound of impact somewhere behind me. “The hell? Where’d you go?” He really doesn’t sound happy with his clumsiness.

Hearing him get up again, I feel Joe pull towards the left–and I follow on instinct; not a second later do I hear another heavy slam, followed by a pained cry. “Just hold still, brats!”

Wordlessly, Joe moves towards the origin of the sound. All I get to hear is a swish before the sound of more stone being hit. He must have missed, because it happens again; the sound of something landing to our right follows soon after. Even if his aim isn’t the best, the youkai knows how to dodge well–if nothing else.

None of us dares to move a muscle, as Joe and the man-eater continue their silent standoff. Tension permeates the air, and I nearly flinch when Joe’s voice cuts through the heavy atmosphere. “We can stop this now! It’s clear that you’re not going to get us.” He spits out with a light tremor in his voice. “So let’s just walk away, alright?” Huh?

The youkai doesn’t buy it either. “Really? Now, why would I do that?” He snarls. “You’re going to get tired eventually, and I’ll just have myself two easy meals! And here I thought I was going to die down here, lost in the darkness.” A bark of laughter punctuates his point. And he does have a good one…Although, lost?

Joe, however, manages to blow my damn mind in the meantime. “You heard that click earlier? We’re both armed.” Oh? What’s your brilliant idea this time? “We’ll start blasting as soon as we get tired. I don’t think even you would take that much damage just for food.”

His voice starts increasing in confidence as he continues, culminating into full on threatening. “So, with that in mind; we’re going to start tapping the walls and find the exit. And you’re going to let us, or we start putting holes in you. Got it?” The youkai doesn’t say a word– except for a grunt of affirmation–giving us free reign to start making our way out of this dead end.

We manage to come out on top of the encounter, but I do feel kind of bad for the guy. If he’s really lost, then isn’t he going to die if we just leave him? “You know, you can follow us. At a distance, though!” I can’t let someone die because of me, man…

I don’t get to feel too good, as Joe digs his elbow into my stomach, leaning in to whisper. “What the fuck are you doing, man.” He’s getting a bit too pissed over not killing someone, for my taste.

“We can’t just leave him down here.” I counter with my own argument. “It’s our fault he’s stuck down here in the first place!” The right thing to do here is clearly to help him out.

Joe still isn’t convinced. “Who cares? He’s a fucking youkai!” Wow, racist much?

“He’s still a person.” This guy is really starting to piss me off, man. “Besides, not all Youkai are bad!” Honestly-

“Can you knock it off with all the whispering?” The creature in question calls out from behind us. “It’s getting annoying.”

“Fine. If he kills you, I’m not saving your ass.” With that the man smacks my hand from his jacket, continuing his stride in silence.

Well, I guess I don’t really have much other choice of company now. “S-So! Why were you down here anyways?” I question the lost youkai.

“Well, I just came down here to scavenge.” He begins, continuing with a healthy dose of venom in his tone. “Then some asshole came running through here and broke all the fucking lanterns!” Yikes, did he really shatter every single light?

“Oh, well, I’m sure they’ll fix the lights soon!” At least I hope so. Not sure if I want to imagine the cost of all those lanterns…

“We should be reaching the exit soon, too.”

“We’re here, no funny business.” Joe’s voice calls out, right on time! The familiar glow of the lanterns starts coming into sight, and I nearly walk right into the guy as he comes to a stop. I’m pulled out of the way as the youkai begins to make his way past us. “Go right, and you’ll find the exit. Don’t turn back if you know what’s good for you.”

“Roger.” The youkai responds, continuing on. “Thanks for the help. See ya.”  Both of us wait until the sound of footsteps fades, before easing up again.

I finally let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that was kind of scary. Right Joe?” Thank God we were able to talk it out this time!

Joe just lets out a weary exhale in response. “Nomura…Please just shut up.” Before I can even think of what to say, he grabs me by the shoulder area and starts dragging me with him. Slow down, man!

The sounds have stopped by now, so I hope we’re going the right way. Not sure if I trust Joe’s sense of direction after that last encounter… “Why don’t you try doing that spark thing, Joe? There’s probably no more youkai around!”

Without a word, he just does it. Not much else has changed, except for the tunnel walls becoming a bit more broken. I wonder what happened here? More importantly, I’m pretty sure S.C is dead by this point–but I’m not sure if I should voice the sentiment. We did come here to find him after all…

“What the hell was that?” I hear a familiar voice echo from further in. S.C! We quicken our pace towards the sound, coming to a standstill as another pair of footsteps rapidly approaches us. “Who’s there? I’m armed and I’ll kick your ass if you come closer!” When did he have the time to arm himself?

“Calm down moron. It’s us.” Joe strikes the wall again, letting us see one another for just a moment. “See?”

“You guys came!” The man shouts in celebration, all previous anger seemingly forgotten. “Wait until you see what I found.”

“Uh, what did you find?” This place is barren as hell, at least as far as we’ve seen. Maybe he scavenged something?

“Some ores! I was running when I saw the light trail kind of ended.” He pauses. “So I took one of the lanterns with me, and started exploring. I found some ores around here, but I didn’t have anything to mine with… Then I was wishing I had my crowbar with me so bad–and it just appeared!” Hm…? I’m confused now, did he unlock a special ability or something like me?

“Yeah, that's great, man.” Joe cuts in wearily. “Can we just get the hell out already?” I mean, I guess we can fill him in on the way.

Walking over to where S.C roughly is, I call out to him. “Grab my hoodie, S.C! We’ll make a little train so we don’t get lost.” As I feel his grip tighten on my overclothes, I do the same to Joe's as the three of us begin to move. “Man, wait till Joaquin hears about this!” I joke, imagining his expression when he finds out.

“He should be glad he missed this shit.” The man in front sighs. “I really wish I could…” Uh… Well now the atmosphere is just awkward. I don’t feel like saying anything to test Joe further, and S.C evidently feels the same–leaving us to walk in silence; the crunch of glass and clanging of metal being kicked aside starts to feel repetitive, and I kind of zone out, coming to as we finally reach the opening of the mine.

Joe is the first to climb up, and as the rest of us reach the surface, he’s collapsed face up on the dirt. “You okay, Joe?” He doesn’t respond, continuing to stare into the starry sky above. “Joe?”

S.C tries his luck, lightly kicking the man a few times. “Get up, man.” I think he might be out cold at this point. The stress of the day must have been too much… I watch my other companion try to lift him like he did me, and surprisingly he seems to be having some serious difficulty lifting him up. “Man, is this guy a fucking hippo or something?” Still undeterred, he starts dragging Joe’s prone body across the village floor, one heave at a time.

Letting loose an exhausted sigh of my own, I pick up Joe’s shovel. “Man, this is going to be such a hassle.” Well, whatever. It’s a daily occurrence at this point. I make my way to lend S.C a hand; we’re going to be here all night otherwise…

Chapter Text

A lengthy yawn escapes my unconscious lips, rousing my exhausted body from its well earned rest. The pains of aching muscles soon start creeping in on my waking brain, urging me to do something to alleviate them. Trying to roll over, however, only leads to me slamming into a wall–and finally letting go of sleep.

My arms still hurt like shit from all the swinging I did yesterday–and my fingers are still stiff from using my crowbar–which makes getting up a chore, as I’m forced to ride out the agony of pushing myself onto two legs. I’m used to being the last one to wake up, so color me surprised when I see Joe sleeping like a log in the exact spot Nomura and I left him last night. Poor guy must’ve been real tired from yesterday’s outing.

Well, he still has to get up; we don’t have any days off. I shove my foot into his back, thrusting over and over until he finally begins to stir. “Fuck off…I’m tired.” Is all the response I can get before he curls further in on himself–a problem quickly remedied with a swift kick to his ass. “Man, I’m up!” He groggily shouts, rubbing the impacted area. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re going to miss work, jackass.” I turn to leave, poor arms dangling. “Let’s get breakfast already.” The sun’s shining pleasantly today, lightly warming my skin as I enter the light, and like clockwork, I get greeted barely a few seconds after emerging.

“Good morning, Sc!” I look to my left, spotting Nomura on the dirt floor–back against a building. He tosses me breakfast, and I catch what seems to be another apple. Really? Again? Well, at least it isn’t a plum… “Could you get Joe? I think he’s still asleep.” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Instead of responding, I move to the side as Joe emerges. “Yeah, yeah. I get it man.” His clutched head and ratty beard, along with the hunch really make him look like a middle aged salaryman. Not that it's far from the truth I guess… He catches his fruit and starts snacking on it while I finish mine, clearing my throat before spitting the remnants of my throat clogs onto the dirt.

“Gross” I hear Nomura mumble to himself before violently sneezing. He takes a moment to wipe his hand on the wall before addressing us. “So then, anyone want seconds?” The hell is he even asking that for, with food this tiny? Needless to say, both of us raise our hands–getting all but pelted with more apples for the trouble.

Consuming our meager meals, the three of us make our way down to the gate–reaching our workstations with little commotion; the fields themselves are another story, however. The hustle and bustle of workers feels worse than before, and I’m not quite sure how my arms are going to make it through the shift without falling off. “See you guys!” Nomura bids before snaking off to God knows where. When did he get so flaky? Well whatever, I still have Joe to help me, Nomura be damned.

Man, that wasn’t so bad! Joe–like a prick–refused to help at all; he just up and vanished like an hour into work, leaving me to suffer by my lonesome. But even then, the sheer amount of people in the fields today made the job go by stupidly fast. I got given a fraction of my usual workload, so I’m free with the sun still well high in the sky. Now if only I had something to do…

Much as I hate to admit it, I’m kind of bored without those two assholes around. I can’t really talk to anyone else here, and talking to yourself is for crazy people, so it’s stiflingly quiet as I pace my way along the path to the gate. Maybe I could see what Joaquin’s up to? Come to think of it, did we even meet him yesterday? I was stuck in that damn cave for a while, and we did get out pretty late; he must have been worried sick!

Come to think of it, where did he say he worked again? As I pass into the village walls, ideas of what to do during the hangout pop in and out of my mind. He’s probably still working like a wagie, but there’s still stuff we can probably do! Just hope his boss isn’t a hard-ass with rules and all that. With a coughing fit to finish off my train of thought, I march onwards on my quest to find Joaquin’s workplace.

I think he mentioned something during the night Nomura and I took a bath, but honestly I don’t remember much more detail. I was mostly focused on thoroughly cleaning myself, and then after we were done some frosty winds came along and started freezing the two of us to death. Just thinking of it reminds me of why I avoid baths, honestly. “Fuck…” C’mon, I’ve gotta remember something!

During my aimless wandering through the streets, my mental spiral is put on hold as I idly eavesdrop on the couple of middle aged men having a conversation nearby; my attention is only fully focused when I overhear the word ‘youkai’ fly somewhere in between. Seeing as I have nothing better to do, I choose to indulge my curiosity. “Hey, guys. What’s this about a youkai?” I enter the conversation with a grin, bringing an arm down on each man’s shoulder.

The duo flinch for a moment, before turning to face me with varying levels of discomfort. “Um… Excuse me, sir, but we are in the middle of a private conversation.” The guy on my right goes while his buddy nods along. Not talking, then? Thankfully, I know the perfect approach for clammy fellas like these!

I pull my arms away from them, and with a couple of steps backwards address the villagers. “If you’re having any problem with youkai, just say so! You’ll be glad to know that I’m an exterminator.” I follow up by calling my crowbar, feeling the sudden weight within my right palm–soon followed by a light surge of pain across its associated limb. Now time to seal the deal… “I just need details on the target–and some payment–and I’ll have the scoundrel dealt with by the end of the day!” That should be plenty convincing.

The two schmucks seem pretty impressed too; goes to show my acting skill, I guess. A glance is exchanged before the right one steps forth. “Fine, then.” He clears his throat before casting a glowering look at me. “There’s a youkai that keeps hanging around the village. The fools around here haven’t taken proper action, and our young are suffering for it!” Now why would a youkai be in the fucking village of all places? Some protection the walls are. “Every day she lures children away when they go outside. You need to get rid of it before it spirits one of them away.”

Well, if the youkai is luring kids rather than adults it has to be pretty weak right? This might be good exercise to ease my muscles, and I can probably get a bit of pocket change to make use of, seeing as the farmer still hasn’t paid us. “Of course. What about payment?”

“You’ll get it after the job is done.” Is the prompt response. Is everyone in this damn village a jew or what? “Good luck to you, sir.” I’m going to beat this guy’s head in before the youkai’s, I swear…

I simply nod with a smile plastered onto my face, setting out for the gate before I end up saying something I’ll regret; no matter how much I want to, doing something stupid is gonna cost me a cash contract–so I’ll probably have to take my anger out on this youkai instead. At least they don’t have rights.

Whistling a tune, I near the village’s entrance–quickly confirming the presence of guards–and begin to concoct a plan. “Hey guys…” I approach them with a nonchalant tone, crowbar in hand. “Do you know where the kids usually are by this time?” With a knowing grin, I wait for them to answer; they stay silent, however, expressions shifting into unreadable poker faces as they eye me. Was I too forward?

Wordlessly they draw closer and- Holy shit, why are they pointing their pikes at me? “Woah, woah, hold up for a second!” When a second passes without my heart being punctured, I manage to continue my defense. “I just got hired to exterminate a youkai. It’s been seen talking to kids apparently, so I just wanted to know where to look!”

Seeing them still hesitating, I drop my crowbar and raise my arms. “Hey, listen. If any of those kids get hurt, you can do whatever you want! Just… trust me here.” Thank God, they finally pull away. I thought I was going to get gutted right there, and over some stupid children of all things!

“They stick close to this side of the walls.” One of the barbarians finally tells me. “And if a single one of them so much as complains about you, we’re going to execute you. Got it?” Jesus fucking Christ! I sheepishly nod and hurry past the guards, breaking into a full sprint the second I can’t see them anymore.

“Man, these people are actually insane!” First they don’t pay me, then they try to kill me the first chance they get. I might as well go live with the youkai at this point… I let myself fall to the grass on my knees, coming to a comfortable rest on my ass. “If only Eientei wasn’t in the middle of a maze, I would be living the dream by now! But, I can still make it work; I just need some equipment for the journey, then I’ll go. Wait a bit longer for me, Tewi…”

Okay, enough daydreaming. I push off the grassy floor, and rise to my feet while surveying myself. They didn’t fuck up my jacket, thankfully; I can’t find leather of this quality in the boonies after all. Although I notice now that I forgot my crowbar, which might be a blessing now that I think of it. Better to approach those brats without looking threatening if I can help it, and I can just summon it when I find the youkai.

With that, the hunt begins! I take a pleasant stroll along the exterior of the medieval settlement, keeping my eyes and ears peeled for any sign of childish laughter. I don’t have to wait long before the sounds of potential targets reach my ears, and I break into a jog towards the sounds of roughhousing. Got to finish this job sooner than later after all.

“Hey, guys!” I wave as I approach a small group of kids–probably above kindergarten age by the looks of them–as I catch the attention of two boys and a girl. “Hi! I’m, uh, in need of some help. Could you guys help me out?” I lean down to get on their level.

"What kind of help, mister?” One messy haired boy asks me, wiping his nose on his yukata sleeve. Okay, good; I’ve got their attention. Now let’s begin the interrogation.

I beckon the children closer, as I put distance between myself and the other kids obliviously playing around in the grass. “So.” I come to a stop, spinning on my heel and giving the three a piercing glare. “I’m looking for a youkai, and I’ve heard that you guys have been talking to it a lot…” Their faces seem to crease in worry; I’m on the mark, then. “Now you’d better spill it. If you know what’s good for you.”

“W-We don’t know what you’re talking about, mister.” The scrawny rat of a boy pipes up. “Mother told me youkai never come near the village!” I see how it is. You brats don’t want to tell me? Fine then…

“Cut the shit, you little brats!” I growl, as my eyes stare daggers into the liar’s. “You think you guys are smart? Huh? Well, I’m smarter than you, and I can tell bullshit when I fucking see it!” My hands find themselves around his collar, and before I know it, I’m shaking the little rat and shouting. “You think you’re better than me? I’ll skin your face and make you eat it if you don’t spit it out, right now!” My rage instantaneously quells, however, when the kid bursts into tears. Oh shit, this is bad! What do I do now?

The guard’s words come to mind, after I’ve already fucked up. They’re going to actually kill me if I don’t fix this! Come on, think, think, think… “Let me go!” My hostage’s wails drag me back to reality, and I quickly do as he says. Ah, what do I do?

“H-Hey, pal! C’mon, stop crying. I’m sorry!” He isn’t shutting up! “Hey, come on. I was just joking! You like jokes, right?” What the hell can I even do at this point, man. I need to get out of here!

“I’m sorry, okay?” I shout over my shoulder while running straight past the other two–not even drawing a glance–and barrel away, praying they don’t remember me too well. Man, why does all the unfair stupidity have to happen to me… What did I do to deserve this, God?

“God, damn it!” I fall to my knees and punch the ground in frustration, receiving only more undue pain for my efforts. “This is all that damn farmer’s fault! If he wasn’t such a greedy pig, I wouldn’t be in this mess!” But try as I might, blame wasn’t going to get me out of this; I still had a job to do.

Sighing, I force myself to rise to my feet. “Maybe, they’ll understand when I finish that youkai.” No one answers me–as usual–leaving me to stew in my own thoughts before a brilliant idea hits me. What if I just follow the children when they go to see that youkai? I won’t even have to talk to them!

My genius idea, as it turns out, forgot to account for one major flaw; kids have the attention span of a goldfish. Like half an hour of waiting, and none of them have really done anything suspicious. If anything, I’ve been getting shifty looks from people here and there–because these assholes can’t just mind their fucking business.

“You got a problem. Huh?” I spit at the next douche to stare at me, and the pussy just flees the conversation. Man, what is with these spineless- Oh! I see a couple of children breaking away from the swarm, and heading to…the west wall? Has the youkai been taking kids into the forest of magic or something? I don’t see how they’d all be accounted for if that was the case, but I kind of have to protect the runts now–or I’m getting the death penalty…

I strafe along the walls from a distance–wouldn’t be good if they spot me again–keeping close tabs on the oversized toddlers rampaging towards the river. Instead of trying to swim through like I’d expect, however, they just stop. Are they looking for someone? And who the hell is that girl coming out of the forest?

The young ones seem excited, shouting something I can’t quite make out at this distance, and rushing towards the bridge. I need to stop this! “Hey!” I yell while my legs go full throttle to close distance. “You there! Get away from those children right now!” The youkai flinches in alarm, and the kids practically jump out of their skin at the sound of my voice; before I can even explain the situation, they scatter, hauling ass to the village gates.

Of course, I’m the bad guy when I try to do some good! This bitch is making me look like an ass. Time to teach her a lesson. “What do you think you were doing with those kids, youkai scum?” She seems to snap out of her shocked state at my question, replying with surprising aggression.

“I was just talking to my friends. The same friends you were just terrorizing!!” Her features harden with anger as she closes her umbrella with a snap. “What’s it to you anyway? Are you some kind of stalker, or what?” I mean, technically I wasn’t stalking her… But she’s probably not going to like that answer either way. Man, I thought this was gonna be an easy job.

Luckily, I’m smart enough to know the smart answer in this scenario! Instead of answering, I take off with a burst of speed–intent on putting some distance between us. “Hey, get back here!” And naturally, the youkai girl doesn’t give up so easily; a chance look behind me shows her figure giving chase from the skies–umbrella held like a parachute–allowing me to see precisely the moment she spreads it open, sending an unholy amount of bullets flying everywhere. “I’m not done with you!”

How does that bitch even have this many bullets to fling? They practically spiral off her in every single direction, and it’s not long before I feel a few impact me. I say a few, but it was more like getting hit by half a dozen of them at once. Each painful pop was another projectile striking me in the back–slamming into me like a heavyweight boxer’s punch, and leaving my skin unbearably itchy afterwards.

“Leave me alone!” Is all I can muster through the stinging pain from the youkai’s barrage, just as the sounds of another being loosed breach the air. “I didn’t do shit, youkai!” Ow! Another wave of the flashing orb-things passes me by, landing even more hits than the first one–and validating a growing concern of mine; namely, that I was going to be growing plants if something didn’t change soon. I already feel like my insides got royally mixed-up, and another attack is just going to fucking kill me. I won’t be able to make it to the village either, and even if I did, I don’t think they’d really help me…

Now that leaves me with one horrible choice… Entering the forest of magic. Now, I’m no fool; I know as well as the next guy how sure this place is to turn me into youkai feed, but do I really have a choice? With a sharp turn, I begin to book it for the forest, hearing a sound of what sounds like surprise from my pursuer just as I leap from the riverbank right before my destination–finishing my maneuver by using my left shoulder to cushion the impact of thunking into the ground. The bruise tomorrow is going to give me hell, but for now I have bigger fish to fry, as evidenced by the sounds of another barrage being fired.

I do thankfully manage to reach my destination in time, and just in time! The onslaught of bullets rains down from above, but the dense forestry stands firm–tree branches and leaves intercepting most of the projectiles like a giant sieve. Keyword being most, however; a few of the accursed bullets slip through the lush canopy, and one manages to strike me near the fucking hipbone! “Wah!” A wail of misery escapes my lips as I’m sent tumbling from the pain blasting through the back of my thigh. Man, forget tomorrow; I’m going to be in a full body cast by tonight!

I’m still not in the clear, however, if the agitated shouting in the distance is any indication. I take a few more seconds of respite from my stupidly difficult assignment, before forcing my aching body to rise once more. I’m starting to see why no one has tried to exterminate this girl before. Most people would have been mutilated by that war crime of a lightshow, exterminator or not. I’m not a quitter, though; especially not when this job could make or break my reputation in that vile dumpster of a village.

C’mon, Sc. You’ve gotta think of something! While trying to formulate a plan of action, I choose to camouflage myself within the foliage–practically impossible to spot now thanks to how brown and thrashed my jacket has gotten. It manages to fool the umbrella girl when she catches up–on foot now due to the density of the forest–at any rate which is good enough for me.

She doesn’t give up just yet, appearing to stalk through the trees and bushes with her head on a swivel. God, I feel like an ambush predator, watching this dumbass bumble around without a clue… Actually, that gives me an idea. Soundlessly, my right palm opens just a smidge, as I call for my weapon; I know I’ve succeeded when I feel the familiar weight within my grip, and a sudden rustle of displaced plants washes through the air.

The youkai halts to a dead stop too, expression alarmed as her gaze flicks to my direction. Damn it, she heard that? Just how absurd can these guys get? Next I’ll see a youkai cheat death or something. She’s coming closer, and I think I’ve gotten the perfect opportunity for this plan; the bush I was taking refuge in violently shakes as I break cover, flinging my crowbar with all the strength I can muster. “W-What?” My target squeaks out.

I don’t stick around to see the aftermath, weaving through trees and bushes alike, at an unsteady pace; I want to speed up very badly, but my mind is smart enough to know my chances if I trip again. Following a minute or two of fleeing, my ass stakes out within the shroud of another bush–though this one is kind of itchy. I’m not stupid enough to expect that I got her with a throw that shitty, and even if I did, these bastards probably have some kind of superhuman resilience.

I don’t want a repeat of the first time this went down, however, and the crowbar is summoned ahead of time; now all I have to do is wait. The second she comes through, I’ll be ready to knock her out cold, permanently. Not sure how I’m going to collect proof for my kill, though; it's not like I have a knife or something to cut her head with. Maybe some hair could work, seeing as I have yet to see a villager with hair that coloured anywhere as crazily as that girl’s.

Speaking of which, where the hell is she? It’s been, like, five minutes already–and this bush is killing me. I can’t take it anymore! I burst out from within the plant, violently scratching my left cheek as well as the entire back of my neck. “Fuck, what’s with this stupid forest?” I need to finish this and get the hell out of here! Of what little sunlight leaks through the leafy overhang, most of it seems to be gradually fading. Great; the sun is already setting.

You know what? I’m done playing games. I’m going to hunt this bitch down and cave her skull in without mercy. It’s time for the hunted to become the hunter… Willing my hands to let go of the rashes no doubt forming by now, I try to quieten my movements and become one with the shadows; I think I read Sun Tzu saying that one somewhere…

Where is she? It’s been like ten minutes, and the forest is getting really dark–I think I can even hear some distant crickets. The umbrella girl is literally the most conspicuously coloured fucker I’ve seen, where on earth could she have- Oh, nevermind; there she is.

The woman walks at a serene pace, humming an inconsistent tune along with the occasional umbrella twirl. Now that I’m able to get a better look at it, is that a fucking tongue sticking out of it? Not just that; I can see a brown shoe attached to the umbrella where I’d expect the handle to curve. Even I could have pinned this girl as a youkai off appearance alone… Seriously, why does every other supernatural creature in Gensokyo feel the urge to dress like a glowing sign saying ‘I’m a youkai!’?

Well, it doesn’t matter. I continue stalking the youkai, slowly edging closer to my unaware quarry with total silence. Any moment now, I’ll have her dead to rights; the moment shows itself when she just stops, looking up through the treeline for some reason…? Beggars can’t afford to be choosers, however, and I take the opportunity to wind back my throwing arm–the crowbar in my grip being flung with a mighty battle cry. “Hah!” The projectile flies through the air with haste, though the girl dodges it as she turns around to lock her eyes with mine.

“W-What?” She swells with indignance. “Why are you still here? Do you want to die that badly?" Did she really just ask that?

“I’m here for you, dumbass!” I point at her aggressively, as I try to shift my posture to look more menacing. “Your head is going to be my paycheck.” God, her face is a sight to see right now–twisting from mild confusion to downright horror. “Now... Let’s get this over with.” I growl, quickly recalling my weapon and dashing towards the fearful youkai. The bitch–to her credit–begins sprinting away barely a second after I begin my approach; it can never be easy, can it?

Another chase breaks out, this time with the roles reversed. The abundance of trees around us thankfully absorbs pretty much all of the danmaku bullets she blindly fires, though it also makes it a pain to catch up with all these roots and bushes in my way. Sure enough, a generous couple of minutes pass without much progress on either end; I’m really not used to running through this many obstacles, and–from the looks of it–neither is she. If this stalemate keeps going, however, she’s definitely going to outlast me, and then I’ll be as good as dead. Now, what can I possibly do in this situation? Wait, I’ve got it!

In what is instinct at this point, my dominant arm winds back in anticipation–ready to strike–and as I leap to the left of a tree in my path I get a clear shot; with all my might, I concentrate my strength into the throw–tripping over a root soon after. The side of my skull slams into the tree with a hefty thud, and I nearly lose consciousness. I think I’m going to be sick… I’m given a bit of relief when I hear my weapon connect, followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.

“Yes!” I wrap my arms around the tree for a minute, trying to balance myself and wait out the vertigo I’m going through, before moving over to the girl. She seems pretty shaken up herself, curled up on her side, as her free hand nurses a nasty looking wound on the back of her head. It’s finally over! Now, I should be getting back to the village now before I get jumped; even a single dog or something could take me out in the state I’m in. Man, I can’t wait to see the looks on those money hoarders’ faces when I show them- Wait, wait, I still need to kill her–don’t I? Right… They needed me to exterminate this youkai; coming all this way just to give her a beating would be a waste, wouldn’t it?

Still, is it really right for me to do this? I’m not too familiar with the culture here, but killing someone seems kind of extreme for just talking to some kids. Though considering the fact that they nearly executed me for asking questions, I wouldn’t put it past these…people. It’s not like I have much choice in the situation, however; if I go back empty handed, there’s no knowing what might happen to me–but can I really kill a girl this cute?

“Why are you doing this?” My head whips around to face the youkai trying to get up, leaning on her goofy looking umbrella for support.  “Why did you even attack me?” She still doesn’t own up to her crimes, huh? Well, I can still try to solve this without violence.

Steeling my nerves, I muster the most severe expression I can–picturing my dad’s morning scowl–before beginning the conversation. “You know exactly why. The village has overlooked it before, but you keep influencing the children. If this keeps on happening…” I summon my crowbar and subtly begin to twirl it within my hands. “I’m sure you’re familiar with how easy it is to kill someone like you, right?” Looks like it worked, if the fear in her eyes is anything to go by; I hit the nail on the head.

“W-Wait, please!” The girl blurts out, shrinking away from me. “I promise I’ll stop, honest!” Good, she’s starting to come around. Maybe there’s hope for her yet…

But that begs the question. “How can I trust your word, huh? You know what they’re gonna do to me if people find out I didn’t finish the job?” Letting out a heavy sigh, I narrow my eyes. “Why am I even talking? I should just kill you right now…” Her features contort further in panic.

“Hold on a second!” She unfurls her umbrella in front of herself like a shield, eyes desperately boring into mine. “I can promise you, I’ll stop talking to the children! If you want proof, I’ll even give you my name.” Oh? Now we’re getting somewhere.

Raising an eyebrow, I lower my crowbar and adopt a more casual stance. “Well? Spit it out already.” A handful of seconds pass by in silence, as the umbrella girl calms herself down behind the cover of her purple safety-net.

Another minute passes by, and I start to question if she’s really surrendered, when her reply arrives. “My name is Kogasa, Tatara Kogasa.” I’ll just call her- Wait a second, this is Kogasa? I think I remember hearing her name, but I’m not too familiar with her beyond that. “I am an umbrella tsukumogami, and I live in the forest of magic.” What the hell is she doing? My recollection efforts are derailed in light of the girl in front me doxxing herself unprompted. “Please, sir. You have my word, I will not do anything to cause you trouble.”

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, she continues with her plea. “If you wish, I can even do work for you!” Really now? Well, that’s a nice bonus… “I work as a blacksmith. If you’d like, I could provide my services.” She bows her head. Well, nevermind; I was an idiot to think she’d give herself away so freely. Still, getting an upgrade for my crowbar sounds pretty good.

“Alright, then.” I begin to hold out my crowbar, stopping halfway. “And don’t try anything funny. I can call it back to me whenever I want.” With that, I relinquish my weapon to Kogasa–and quickly move onto the most important part of this interaction. “Now, I’ll need some of your hair. The village will need proof of your extermination.” She appears a bit discomforted at the notion, but nonetheless agrees–plucking a good few strands from her scalp and depositing them into my waiting palm. Now with that taken care of… Time to go home! “I’ll be going then.” I offer one last nod to the youkai before taking my leave.

My journey back thankfully isn’t too difficult. Seems like I managed to catch Kogasa before she went further into the forest, so we were still around the outskirts. Still, it’s kind of a pain to navigate this place with just moonlight. Hm? I hear rustling up ahead…

The sound picks up in volume as I continue on, bringing me to slow my pace; it doesn’t end up mattering much, however, when the creature itself approaches my location–and a whole ass bear emerges from the darkness. Why now of all times, man?

The beast seems just as surprised as I am, leaving us both staring like idiots at each other’s faces. This goes on for a minute or so before the bear makes a move. “Uh, hey there?’ You know what, I’m not dealing with a talking bear in total darkness; time to bail this deathtrap of a forest! Quick as a leaf–I dash to its right, clearing a good few trees of distance before I feel comfortable enough to return to the path. The trees are getting sparser, signaling the end of the forest, but I don’t dare to slow my pace.

There’s no sign of the bear, but I don’t take any chances before I break through the treeline, and throw myself across the river. “Man, what the fuck was that thing?” I have to be tripping or something; a talking bear is too much, even for Gensokyo. I must have inhaled too much of that forest air… I remember that it was dangerous to humans, maybe this is why?

Actually, maybe this isn’t the best time to be thinking about this stuff. I push myself up from the grassy floor, continuing my trek back to the village gates–hairs grasped firmly within my palm.

“I’m back!” I call out to the guards as I approach the gate, watching them jump before scrambling into a fighting posture. “Calm down, guys.” I raise my hands, offering them a weary smile. “It’s just me.” Predictably they don’t budge an inch, so before these boneheads try to skewer me again, I begin explaining. “I killed the damn youkai you wanted.” My right fist is presented, still closed.

Exchanging a glance, the sentinels nod before pointing their weapons away from me. I approach the guy on the right, and open my knuckle to show him the strands of blue hair I’m holding. “Fine, then. Good work, you may enter.” Finally, man. Can’t believe I have to deal with bureaucracy, even in a medieval town.

Moving into the village proper, I waste no time in cutting through streets and pathways, at long last reaching our sleeping alley. My companions are already asleep by the time I return–and I can’t really blame them; I wouldn’t want them to stay awake till like one in the morning just waiting for me to get back. We still have jobs after all… Speaking of which, I still have to report to those guys for payment.

Well, whatever. That’s for tomorrow. I tuck the hairs I fought so hard for into my trouser pocket, and take a minute to stretch the soreness out of my body. Man, some sleep would be great right about now. Laying down on my right side, I get comfortable before finishing my final nightly ritual. A bit late now, but… “Good night, guys. Love you.” No sooner than I finish do my eyelids slide shut, taking me towards my well earned rest.

Chapter Text

Wedding bells ring throughout the clearing as I progress towards the altar, arm held tightly by my father. God I’m so fucking nervous right now; what if she says no, or what if I fuck up my vows? My dad keeps an air of stoicism around him–not that I expected anything different–as he leads me up to the altar. I’m on my own now, and as I take step after shaky step up the stairs, I see my eyes upon her.

My bride-to-be waits patiently at the center, dressed in a flowing white (and kind of tight fitting) wedding gown. A lacey veil obscures all but her soft smile as her head turns towards me. I’m a really lucky guy, aren't I… The old guy doing the ceremony starts his spiel, but I can’t seem to focus; my gaze keeps transfixed towards my wife. Her gloved arms, ending in dainty little digits, the way the fabric clings to her skin, and especially the way her lips curl and bounce with every little giggle she vocalizes.

What follows is a blur, with the priest running his mouth on and on, and occasionally myself providing a rehearsed answer when needed. Soon enough, we reach the vows, and after that comes the really good part; “You may now kiss the bride.” Hell yeah, it’s finally time! Without a 

second wasted I raise my arm and ease it towards the veil, gently lifting it up and revealing the visage of the woman in front of me.

Glossy blonde hair cascades gently around her face, delicate lips adorning creamy white skin, as her ruby red eyes bore eagerly into mine. A small patterned red and white ribbon decorates the right side of her hair, nestled between locks of- Wait a fucking minute, is that Rumia? Why is she here, man? I suddenly freeze up, trying to comprehend why the fuck I’m getting married to this girl; I mean I haven’t even done an internship yet (and can you really blame me? They’re so fucking boring!), how the fuck are we going to feed the kids? Actually, how are we going to pay for my university? Has she even gone to school?

My mental spiral is interrupted by the giggling of the youkai, as she leans in for a kiss…? Wait, no she’s a fucking child! I can’t do this shit… I try to move away, but my body feels like it's gone limp; it’s like I’m in a cutscene, and I can’t even close my eyes! She’s super close now, and I can practically feel her breathing (God really is testing me today, huh?) when she parts her lips–revealing a set of razor sharp teeth. The hell? My vision suddenly goes yellow, while my face feels pretty tingly; she’s trying to eat me!

“Agh, get off!” For the first time in this whole dream my body chooses to obey, trying to shove the little fucker off me before its too late. She keeps shaking and thrashing, and before I know it I can’t feel the altar underneath me–soon followed by the weightlessness right before a fall. Shit, shit, shit! I’m going to die if this rat doesn’t move- Before I can continue further, however, the ground rushes to meet with the back of my head; a loud thud rings through my skull as my senses rapidly begin to fade.

Woah, what the fuck was that all about? Did I really have to get the weird dream on the one night S.C wasn’t around… Well, whatever; I should be getting up anyway. Trying to open my eyes, I instead experience the feel of crust jamming them shut. God, how long has it been since I slept long enough for that to happen? Rubbing out the stickiness, my fingers work on picking out the bigger pieces (always hated this part…) before then wiping away the blobs of drool still clinging to my face.

Now finally presentable, I sit up and yawn as I stretch my arms out. Man, it feels great to finally get a good night’s sleep; I really deserve one after that whole shitshow in the mines the other day. The main culprit meanwhile naps away without a care in the world. Honestly, would have been better if we just left this motherfucker down there to rot… But whatever, what’s done is done; the only thing I can do now is try to play it smart. I feel decently awake by now, so with another rub of the eyes I put on my glasses and rise to my feet, taking in the peaceful silence–save for S.C’s loud ass snoring–for a moment before exiting.

With what is routine at this point, I get greeted by Nomura, and have my breakfast tossed towards me; and to think I didn’t even have to say anything this time. It only gets weirder though, when my hands grasp something long and tender instead of the hard ball shapes we usually end up eating. Looking at it now, the yellow and brown splotched skin makes it pretty damn obvious what this is. So I guess we’re eating bananas now; sure, why not?

This one is pretty alright; a bit harder than I’m used to, but my mouth makes quick work of it nonetheless. “Got any more? I kind of liked that.” I ask the Brazilian after a gulp, as I remove the rest of the peel from my lips. He’s giving me a weird look for some reason, but thankfully I still get seconds. “So, Nomura. I have a question.” Good. he’s listening, at least. “Why don’t you try cooking our food for once? I mean, you have a fucking pan for a reason.”

He blanches at the mention of the pan, taking a bit to clear his throat before speaking. “Oh! W-Well, about that; you see, it’s a pretty old p-pan! And on top of that, I still haven’t cleaned it, and…” Without meeting my eyes he goes on a tangent, devolving into mumbles halfway like an idiot. Does this idiot even cook? “Wait, where’s my pan?” Huh? Suddenly his eyes go wide, and the man starts throwing worried glances everywhere in search of his pan. “Ah… Did I forget it? But, I was definitely sleeping with it! I think.” Man, does this guy not think about how to say stuff?

“Come on.” I beckon to Nomura as I move back into the alley. “You probably forgot it here, or something.” I swear, this guy starts stressing over the smallest things. Well, let’s start the search then. It should…be around here? But of course it’s never that simple; both of us keep searching, under trash, near the back, even under S.C, but it’s just straight up gone.

Man, now I’ll have to listen to this guy’s whining. “It’s not here Joe!” The moron starts fidgeting with his hoodie now, pacing back and forth in cramped circles. “What am I going to do?” For god’s sake, man. It’s just a pan! I guess I can relate a bit, though; I’d be pissed if someone swiped my sweet shovel.

“Shut up… I’m trying to sleep, assholes.” It’s about time. I was starting to think he was about to miss work too. 

I take the ripe opportunity to whack him awake; man, does it feel good. “Get the fuck up S.C, Nomura got robbed.” I say, easing up with my tool after the man stops trying to go back to napping.”We’ve got to do something.”

“What?” The news has him sitting bolt upright, staring me dead in the eyes. “We got robbed? Those damn Koreans.” What is this jackass on about this time… Where did the bloodlust even come from, man? “I’m gonna cut their fingers off and put them in their noses.”

“Calm down, midget.” I give the top of his head a light thunk with my shovel. “We still have work, or are you really going to get fired to go beat up some mystery thief?”

At my words most of the man’s bravado fades as he deflates like a balloon. “Oh, right… I forgot.” I really wish Joaquin was the one dealing with these idiots, and not me.

“Well, you should eat quickly.” I beckon Nomura, who responds with a couple more bananas. Hope he can still work, after who knows how little sleep he’s gotten…

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t rush me!” Man, with this guy’s attitude, I can’t even feel bad (well, too bad) about beating him this morning; he deserves it and more, for all I care. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.” You’d better be.

“Finally!” At last the three of us reach the end of our shift, marked by the emptying of the final sack of manure we had left. “All this shit is tiring me out.” Not to mention the smell… I really should clean myself up, actually; my glasses are getting pretty damn dirty. “Guys!” I address my companions as I approach, tossing my empty sack into the nearby pile. “I’ll meet up with you two later. I need to wash my hands.” And with that I take my leave.

“Wait up, Joe!” Or not, I guess. Nomura’s voice interrupts my departure, so I do the reasonable thing and wait for him before we continue. “I need to wash up too.” That’s fair, I guess.

“Sure, come on.” I motion for him to follow as I resume my path hearing a ‘Bye S.C!’ before the man catches up; thankfully he keeps pace nicely, and we manage to reach the river flowing out of the village without much hassle–awkward conversation or otherwise.

It’s not until we start to properly wash our hands does Nomura try to break the ice. “S-So… I, uh, wanted to thank you. For that day in the mines.” Oh? Wonder why he’s bringing that up now, honestly.

“Yeah. Don’t mention it, alright?” I can barely remember much of it anyways; sleep deprivation always blends together my memories.

Unfortunately, Nomura doesn’t seem satisfied with my response. “No, I really mean it!” He gets a bit closer to me, gaze dead serious–surprisingly. “You kind of saved my ass back there, and I still haven’t properly thanked you for it. If I can do anything to help you out, just let me know dude.” Woah, what is this guy saying?

I take a moment to formulate a response for the situation, not helped by the intense glare I'm still getting from the Brazilian man. “I mean, that youkai did come out of nowhere. I just did what I had to, man.” Taking a deep breath, I carefully choose my next words. “But, yeah… I’ll uh, keep it in mind. If I need any help, I’ll tell you.” God, why are words so hard? Still, it feels kind of nice to be appreciated, man. 

“Oh, by the way.” This guy’s been getting more and more talkative by the day; he might end up as bad as S.C soon… “How do you keep your glasses on like that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drop them.”

Well that’s simple. “Honestly mine are just tight as hell.” I grab hold of them by the handles, and slowly ease the spectacles off my face. “See this?” I open and close one of the legs. “You just tighten the screw thing at the hinge, and you can make it as tight as you want.” Pretty sure I would have broken my glasses already otherwise.

“I see!” Nomura seems satisfied enough with my answer, beginning to mutter to himself. “Where am I going to find one…?” Well, that’s his problem; I want to move on already (though a screwdriver could be pretty handy…).

With my hands sufficiently cleaned, I start heading out towards the gate. “Come on. We should get going.” Hopefully we can come up with something to do today, at least until Joaquin gets off work. “I want to actually do something for once.”

I continue my travel, swiftly joined by Nomura as we walk side by side in silence. This feels a bit awkward… Evidently my companion thinks so too, because he immediately tries to fill the silence with a conversation. “S-So! I was thinking we could, maybe try cooking something?” Not a bad idea, I guess, but I really don’t like the way his expression shifts. “The thing is, we might need to find my pan first.” Oh, great; the dumbass already lost his stuff in less than a week.

Honestly? Whatever gets me some cooked food; that takoyaki shit Joaquin bought us yesterday makes the food we eat feel like war rations in comparison. “Sure, man.” I respond with a resigned nod. “Why the fuck not?” Not like I have anything better to do, or I’d already be on Fallout by now. Still, I guess it’s at least good for my health or whatever…

“Get up, S.C. We’re going hobo hunting.” That gets his attention–as expected–but what the fuck was that reaction time? This fellow is wrong in the head or something. “What are you even doing?”

The man quickly pockets the rocks in his grasp, before rising to his feet. “I’m just thinking about what I can use these ores for; probably a longsword.” I wonder where his ass is even getting the metal for that, especially after putting the mines out of commission for God knows how long.

“Okay. Do it later.” And so initiates the hunt. Our search begins with the other nearby alleys, almost every single one housing one or more homeless. Most of them barely have proper clothing–let alone any belongings–and questioning them proves equally fruitless; that is until we reach this one bum.

Apparently the guy seems to know something. “You’re from the alley near the gates, right?” At our nods he continues his excited speech, gesticulating wildly. “I saw who did it, then! I definitely remember them holding something big. It’s probably what you’re looking for!” Well, damn. I can’t believe how easy this was.

“Really?” Nomura excitedly asks, looking as happy as a puppy. “Thank you so much man! What’s your name?”

Flicking my gaze back to the hobo, the guy has donned a shady smile–much like how S.C does whenever he tries to flaunt his ‘charisma’. That alone tells me that this won’t end well. “Out here, I’m known as Kosak.” Huh, cool name. “You should remember the name; after all it’s just a matter of time before I make it big…”

Man, was one S.C not enough? This main character syndrome thing is starting to get pretty old. “Yeah, sure. We’ll remember. Now spit out who took it already.” Let’s end this as soon as we can. “We don’t have all day.”

“Woah.” The man’s face goes blank. “Hold on, there, friends. I’m a businessman, not a charity.” A business- Are you fucking kidding me? “Why don’t we discuss the terms, and I’ll be happy to help!” The nerve of this guy!

Before I can cock his clock off, the man is approached by an indignant S.C–though the intimidation factor is kind of useless considering the hobo towers over him with a good head or so of height. “How about you just tell us, buddy…” Oh god, is this guy for real? “We have places to be, you know how it is.”

“Well, buddy, I still need to make a living–and being an artist isn’t exactly a quick way to get food.” Taking a step forwards, the dude hunches over to come face to face (just how creepy can someone get?) with my moron of a friend. “You get me, right? A man’s gotta eat.” S.C to his credit doesn’t show any sort of discomfort from the display, only taking a step back before responding.

“Fine.” Wait what? You fucking coward! “If you insist, then we’ll be happy to do business.” Man, what is this idiot planning now?

Dear God, what was that hop? This Kosak guy makes too many sudden movements, I swear; maybe he’s on something? “Perfect!” He says, practically vibrating with excitement after moving to a respectable distance once more. “I don’t ask for much, just enough for a few meals, and you can get your precious info.” Wait, aren’t we flat broke? We’re going to need to visit Bell for funds at this rate. “Sounds like a steal, doesn’t it?” Oh boy, wait till he finds out…

“You’ve got yourself a deal!” Both S.C and Kosak shake on it, wide grins on both their faces for some reason; not like I get the chance to think on it before the man approaches Nomura and I. “Come on, guys. We’ve got some debts to collect…” Since when did we loan money?

Nomura seems to be thinking the same thing, judging by his expression. “Uh, S.C? Who are we looking for, exactly?” Yeah, are we just going to rob the first vulnerable looking guy we see?

“Oh, wait. I didn’t tell you about yesterday?” The man’s expression turns sheepish before he turns around with haste, calling out to us as he begins leaving the alley. “Come on. I’ll tell the story on the way.” Well, whatever; I’m down if it means finally getting some money for once.

“Yeah, sure. Lead the way.” I respond before joining him, soon followed by our other companion. As we leave our supposed informant in the dust, a thought crosses my mind. “Where are we going, anyway?” Come to think of it, I never really took a good look around the village–did I? Should probably do that at some point before it bites me in the ass…

 “Near one of the housing areas. There’s a couple of old geezers there who owe me money.” Man, this is starting to sound more and more like extortion. “They hired me yesterday, to exterminate a youkai! Crazy, right?” Yeah, that’s one way to put it!

“Is that why you came back so fucking late?” What the hell, man? “I thought we were supposed to be doing shit like this as a team.”

S.C doesn’t get offended–miraculously–waving off my concern with an easygoing tone. “Man, relax… It was just hunting a weak ass youkai. Even you or Nomura could have taken that thing on alone!” Still, sounds pretty damn dangerous; or maybe I’m just overreacting because I haven’t tried it myself. That bird youkai did go down pretty damn easy when we fought it, and there’s probably way weaker ones running around.

I wonder… “Hey. S.C. H-How, uh…” I stutter as an unexpected bout of anxiety tugs at my chest. “How did you, do the job?” That elicits a bark of laughter from the man in question, and then I remember just who I’m asking about youkai hunting from. “Like, how hard was it to fight the youkai?”

“Well…” After a moment of silence–for some reason–he continues. “The uh, youkai was pretty easy to handle. All it took was a single hit from my crowbar, and it was practically begging for mercy!” Man, is this guy for real? Wouldn’t the villagers be committing youkai genocide if- “But the real pain in the ass was finding the youkai. Took me all day to hunt it down in the forest, and then on the way back, I nearly got killed by a Freddy-Fazbear looking talking bear!” Oh, alright. I think I see why the villagers are still scared. “That thing was like three times my height, man!” Holy shit, just how powerful are the animal youkai here…

“Why are you asking Joe?” Nomura’s query snaps me away from my train of thought before I fully spiral. “Finally going to put that gun to use, or what?” That might be a good idea, but…

“Probably not, to be honest.” I dig around my pocket for the aforementioned firearm; it’s still pretty much full, missing but a single bullet from during my very first day in this realm. “I can’t start wasting ammo. No clue if they even have any guns here, let alone extra bullets.” Tracing a finger along the gun’s features, I continue ruminating out loud. “ If I can get the money, I’ll probably just have something done for my shovel; it’s better than something, and–assuming S.C isn’t bullshitting us–I could probably start off hunting weak youkai.” Would be a nice side hustle in between the field work.

Actually, looking up from my weapon, the guy seems to have vanished. Where the hell could he have gone? Glances thrown to the houses and passersby don’t reveal much more before Nomura takes the liberty to speak. “Don’t worry, man. He went down the left turn up ahead.” Why the hell did we stop then? “Relax… He’ll be fine. Besides, I think a bit of quiet would be nice!” My poker face must be worse than I thought. It’s getting embarrassing how easy I am to read at this point…

But whatever, he has a point; some time away from S.C is always a plus, no matter why. Actually, I should be enjoying this moment! “Hey Nomura. Can you give me a corn cob?” He gives me a weird look, but does what I ask. One toss later, I am enjoying a delicious snack of sweet, sweet, corny goodness; tastes just like home. It doesn’t last long though, and before I know it my next bite lands on the hard bit (the cob or whatever) in the middle. “Ow, what the fuck?” It’s over already? But I still need more… 

“Hey, uh. Could I get more?” What’s up with the stare? Must be some autism thing, I guess–though he seems to be doing it intentionally when he slowly extends the second husk towards me. As my jaws dig into the kernels, I realize that I should probably just ask. “Are you autistic by the way?” My gaze flicks to the Brazilian right after I finish swallowing my first mouthful.

God, that expression is something to witness. “W-What? I thought you were autistic!” What…? Man, is this guy stupid? “No offense, but you remind me of the ‘school shooter’ vibe. You know?” Huh? What the fuck is this shit; I spent like two months worth of allowance on this outfit!

“Man, fuck you… Your clothes are shit, too.” This guy has the nerve to insult my wardrobe after looking like that? What a joke. “What’s your problem?”

Why’s his ass laughing? “Sorry, sorry! Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, dude; thought the camo thing was some edgy phase or something. Just don’t shoot me and we’re good.” Ugh, another stupid comment. Ever since this idiot started talking more he’s been a pain in the ass. “Also, are you going to finish that?” Oh, right. The corn. Well, why not I guess; not like I can really counter the jackass’ words, so maybe staying quiet would be better…

Taking my own advice, I silently work my teeth–decimating the second cob of corn within record time–and within a minute or so, I fling the inedible husk across the street. Damn, it’s getting some pretty good airtime-

Thwack. Oh, shit. “Which one of you motherfuckers threw that?” S.C announces with a roar after catching my discarded snack with the side of his head; not a very understanding man, I’d say. “Well? Who was it?” Man, does this guy ever think before running his mouth? We’re in public for fuck’s sake.

“Woah, calm down S.C.” Nomura quickly approaches our third party member, making shushing motions with his arms. “You’re making a scene.” Yeah, there’s a lot of people staring at us… Not fun.

The American man is not having it, though. “How can you say that, huh? You weren’t the one who got a concussion!” Now I feel kind of bad, which is impressive considering who I’m talking about. “You should be on my side here. We’re a team aren’t we?” Being a team doesn’t mean being yes-man, though.

“Of course we are!” Thankfully, Nomura’s newfound love for talking seems to be coming in handy. “That’s why we’re trying to calm you down. We could probably get in trouble if you keep this up…” Looks like he’s breaking through to S.C–or at least he’s made the guy stop to think for a minute. Looks like we should be fine if he keeps up the heavy lifting.

With a sigh, our friend (as much as I hate saying it) finally relents. “Fine, then. I guess it would be bad if we got thrown in the slammer.” At least he has the good sense to avoid jail time. “We won’t be able to catch that damn criminal otherwise!" I should probably keep my hopes down next time. “So. you guys definitely saw who did it, right?” Oh boy…

“W-Well, yeah, but you see…” We can’t let this guy know I threw it; he’ll actually murder me! Gently nudging Nomura in the side, I start shaking my head the moment he makes eye contact. “He, uh, ran away!” Phew. “We were too shocked to do anything–which was embarrassing–so we didn't want to tell you…” 

S.C suspiciously eyes the both of us–and thinking back my nudge might not have been too subtle–so I back Nomura up before our lie falls apart. “Relax, man. We did get a good look at him, at least.” Ok, now what’s a good criminal description? “He had, uh… Black hair,” wait, everyone here has black hair! “And a mustache, with a beard I think. Also he looked pretty non-Japanese.” That should do it.

“God damnit! I should have known… Thanks for telling me guys.” He puts a hand on both of our shoulders, and I feel a subsequent chill down my spine as the lunatic continues. “Just wait till I get my hands on that piece of shit…” I think this was a bad idea. Well, let’s just hope he doesn’t jump some innocent guy while we’re together.

“On that note, we should get going!” Nomura suggests. “We still have to find my pan, and that Kosak guy needed money, remember?” Oh right, we should do that. Sun’s still high in the sky, and some alone would be nice after this. “Come on, let’s get to it!” God, why did he have to do that gay little pose before running off?

Whatever. I should probably go before S.C starts spouting his shit again. With that lovely thought, I look over my shoulder and break my brooding companion out of his trance, swiftly striding towards Nomura right after.

“That enough weirdo?” S.C drawls to the giant of a man, quickly backstepping when his head flicks towards us with an awkward grin. “It’s all we’re willing to give you. Unless, you know… You wanted more?” This guy really has no balls, does he?

At least the hobo has the decency to not extort us further, settling simply with, “Oh, no. This is plenty!” Man, this guy is acting like we’re buying crack or something–which would probably be a better investment than what we’re doing right now…

 “Pleasure doing business with you all.” He gives us all quick handshakes before pointing us roughly in the direction of the lake. “Remember, he had black hair, a mustache, and a beard. Looked foreign too…” Son of a bitch, did I really just make up a real criminal? That solves two problems at once then–assuming we can catch him.

“Sweet! Thanks Kosak, we’ll see you around!” Nomura bids the slender man farewell, as our ragtag trio moves out of the alley. We start our search more efficiently this time round–each man searching a different area–and actually get some damn results! Not promising results, but at least we got a turnout this time.

This old monk looking guy said he’d seen someone with a big something in their hands, and we got more rough directions from another outsider, bringing us to our current situation; we’re lost. “That’s what I get for listening to tweakers on the street.” The monk guy should have tipped me off, man.

Our aimless state awkwardly persists for a minute or so before Nomura’s expression lights up. “Guys! Do you hear that?” Huh? What now? “Listen closely. I think I recognize that voice…”

Well, I don’t hear it as much as I hear the white-noise it bleeds off, but I think I get what he means. “Wasn’t this guy the uh, youkai from the mines?” Either that or a really loud guy, which feels unlikely given how submissive the villagers around here seem to act.

“You remember it too!” The man starts practically bouncing on his heels. “Come on, let’s talk to him!” Wait, what- and he’s off. God, what is with these moronic fucks?

“What’s he talking about, man?” S.C somehow struggles to process the basic implication. “Did you get in league with some youkai when I wasn’t looking?” You know what, that’s it.

“Just shut up and come on.” I don’t have time for this; Nomura might be mincemeat if we don’t catch him. “Get your ass moving, we gotta go after him!” And so the two of us break into a jog, reminding me of our first night in Gensokyo as we quickly reach the alley our third member ran off to. “Nomura!” He seems to be fine, but- what the hell is he doing?

The guy has his arms wrapped around a stranger; that kimono he’s wearing has definitely seen better days–but it helps that it’s brown to begin with–and the same goes for his weird pants, but those ruby red eyes, and the blood red hair adorning his scalp are a dead giveaway of his youkai status. Although, the strangest part is he seems more confused than anything by Nomura’s lack of boundaries. “Uh… Have we met before?” Ok yeah, this is definitely the guy.

“I’m glad you’re okay, man.” The Brazilian man murmurs, rubbing his cheek against the worn fabric before looking up at the youkai with a wide smile. “How have you been?” What am I watching, man. This feels like one of those romance mangas the idiot seems to love talking about.

The youkai, is surprisingly the more normal of the pair. “What the fuck? Hey man, seriously, who are you?” There’s a fair amount of discomfort in his voice replacing its usual bluster. Not sure if I prefer it, to be honest. “I don’t know you, honest!” Yeah, this is just getting uncomfortable; I should step in.

“Hey. Remember us?” I wave at the youkai, trying to think of a good reminder. “From back in the mines. When you nearly got your ass kicked?” I seem to be on the money, as the man’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. He parts his lips to-

“You guys fought a fucking youkai?” Holy shit! That made me jump; nearly forgot about S.C. “Why did you assholes do it without me?” Oh, right. We didn’t tell him did we?

“You were off in some random cave, remember?” This guy, I swear. “The only reason any of us were down there in the first place was because your fatass broke all the damn lights!” Didn’t even apologize for wasting my entire day either…

Our side conversation, however, gets hijacked yet again, this time by the redhead. “Wait, this guy was the one who broke down the lanterns?” Oh, man; he looks pretty pissed. “I nearly damn well died down in those tunnels because of you, bastard!” Woah, we really can’t afford a fight here! Gotta think of something before he loses it. Wait, Nomura’s good at words!

Looking over to him, the two of us make eye contact–and with a nod exchanged he begins his shtick. “Woah, hold on!” The dude tugs at the youkai’s kimono. “Let’s not fight here. The guards will make short work of you, and we’ll probably end up the same.” His pleading seems to have some effect, and the big guy stops struggling for the most part. “Trust me, you don’t want to do this.”

“He’s right, you know.” I raise my free fist and point towards S.C with a thumb. “This guy’s unfortunately a youkai exterminator.” To think that would come in handy now, of all times… “Actually. Why don’t you just apologize, S.C?” I turn my gaze towards my short companion.   

“What? Why the hell would I apologize to a youkai, huh?” Alright, that’s fucking it. Joaquin’s rules can go to hell; I’ll beat his ass next if he wants my shovel so bad. Thunk. “Ow! What was that for?” God, hitting this jackass feels cathartic.

“Apologize.” Or don’t. I’m happy with both outcomes, honestly.

Still nursing the back of his head, the midget still tries to show some sass. “No way in hell, you mother-” Thud. My shovel sings yet again, as I smack him on the forehead this time. Just how much pain is this guy willing to take before seeing reason? “Dude, stop-” Clank. Yikes; right in the face this time. “Okay, calm the fuck down!” Yeah, I might have gotten a bit carried away… But to be fair, he deserved it. Well, whatever; a bit of bruising didn’t kill anyone. “I’m sorry! There, happy?” A nod is my only response as I move away from the fool, leaving him to grudge and fume for however many minutes he can remember.

Turning back to the other two, they seem to have separated (thank god, that was gay as hell.) sometime during S.C and I’s ‘conversation’. Both simply lean against the alley walls in silence for a moment before realizing it’s over. “After all that? Yeah, sure; we’re good.” Well that’s a relief! “By the way, what are you lot’s names?” Ah, right. Introductions. Not one of my strong suits.

“My name’s Sean, man. Sean Crowley. But you can just call me S.C for short!” S.C darts for the redhead’s hand as soon as the opportunity presents itself, vigorously moving it up and down with his own. “Pleasure to meet you, fella.” Oh my fucking God, did he have to say ‘fella’ of all things? “And this here, are my friends Joe,” he sticks a digit in my direction. “And Nomura.” Also accompanied by a point towards the man in question. “What about you? Don’t think I caught a name.”

Finally, I can stop calling him the ‘youkai’. “My name’s Koumoushin, got it? Kou-Mou-Shin.” That’s a mouthful, man. Maybe Moushin or something would be better? “So, what brings you folks here? Not the sights, I’d hope.” His sentence ends with a chuckle at his own joke; reminds me of Nomura…

“Well, Kou-kun, we were actually looking for something of mine! A pan that we think someone stole from us.” Weeb degeneracy aside, Nomura knows how to get straight to business at least. “Have you heard about or seen anything that could help us?”

“Firstly, just call me Kou, Nomura.” With that out of the way, Kou’s grimacing expression relaxes into a thoughtful one. “Now let me think… I haven’t heard of no thief, but Kogasa did pass by with some stuff she’d scavenged not too long ago. If you’re looking for missing items then she’s probably your best bet.” Oh damn, did he say Kogasa?

“Kogasa?” S.C seems a bit worked up for some reason. Does he have a thing for her, or…? “Where can we find her, man?” Good question, actually. Isn’t she usually around the village somewhere? I don’t exactly remember; haven’t really kept up with the boring ass mangas.

“Alright, so you just need to head for the market. Take the right when you leave the alley, then keep walking straight until you reach the end. The market should be to your left.” Alright, so right, straight, and then left; got it. At my nod, the crimson man continues. “So once you get in, try to look for the place they sell clothes and other tools; she’s usually working as a blacksmith.” Okay, perfect! Now we can finally end this whole ordeal before I lose it.

“Thank you so much, Big Kou!” Pff, what the hell? ‘Big Kou’ has a nice ring to it I guess… “We’ll talk later, then. Goodbye!” Nomura gives the redhead a parting handshake before moving for the exit. “Come on guys, we’re burning daylight!”

“Bye, Big Kou.” I manage to get out with a wave, before moving after S.C. The last thing I hear from the youkai is a bark of laughter soon followed by a farewell. That went surprisingly nicely, for a youkai encounter. And we even got some (hopefully) reliable directions! A win-win to be sure; maybe those guys aren’t all too bad.

Man, this place is a real pain to navigate; doubly so after having to deal with like five people in between short bouts of walking alongside my annoying companions. “Why are all the children avoiding you, S.C?” Man, why are we discussing kids now?

“I don’t know man! Everyone in this dump’s out to get me since day one.” The man replies with unnecessary volume. “I feel just like Andrew Tate right now, getting slandered by the matrix.” Yeah, no. I am not dealing with this; I’ve got to ditch these morons the first chance I can get. The world seems merciful today too, and as Nomura manages to get even more shouting out of S.C, I take my leave far from the squabbling duo steadily making a scene. No matter how you look at it, this is the best choice at the moment; if they do manage to get their asses tossed into jail, I can get a few days of peace–and I can just say I was splitting up to cover more ground if they don’t.

Now, where exactly am I? A quick sweep of my vision shows mostly clothing, which is pretty good news; finally on track for once! No time for celebration, however, seeing as it’s already turning dusk. “Let’s do this.” I mutter under my breath, glaring resolutely at the expanse of vendors and goods in front of me.

It doesn’t take long to search the stalls, especially when my target looks as subtle as a T.V mascot–and aside from a few stares from curious children and fearful adults alike–not much really occurs across my short journey to Kogasa’s shop. When I get there the woman in question seems to be in the middle of something; no worries though, I can wait. In the meantime my gaze is drawn to her merchandise, particularly the weaponry adorning the shelves. A lot of variety in swords lines the shelves, along with a few spears. These would be pretty good for youkai hunting, wouldn’t they? Better than my shovel at least, and the guards must use those long spear things for a reason. “How much for one of these?” I ask the shopkeeper, only to get an ‘Eep!’ in response–soon followed by a loud bang of bone against wood.

Merchandise rattles as the girl recovers her senses before responding. “Oh, excuse me sir! You startled me.” Yeah, I should have just waited. And now that her head is properly visible, I can see a small bandage covering part of it. “Could you repeat your question?” Ah, right!

“I was asking, how much those swords are.” I point to the weapon rack. “I want something to hunt youkai with. No offense.” I just want a job that’s more suited to my skills than fucking farm work, man. I hope she doesn’t take it too badly.

Kogasa’s face thankfully shows no signs of discomfort, however; something I find a bit unnerving. Maybe there’s different hierarchies of youkai, then? The wolves and eagle definitely didn’t look anywhere near humanoid, and they were pretty easy to kill; no weird powers or magic, either. Wait, shit I asked her a question! “Could you uh, say that again?”

With a patient smile still plastered on her face, the woman does as I ask. “I said, one’s about sixty thousand yen, sir!” What the fuck? That’s way too high! “Which one in particular are you looking for?”

“Oh. Uh, no worries, I was just looking.” Oh, right. I should probably get to the point. “Anyway, the reason I’m here is simple.” I take a moment to silently brace myself; breathe in, and breathe out… “I’m here looking for a Kogasa. I heard she found a pan that belongs to us. So, you know…” Man, this is harder than I thought. “You have the pan?”

A split second of shock morphs into recognition as the girl begins to search under the counter for something. “Right, I remember! I did find a beat up cooking pan, I think.” A few seconds later, a quick “Aha!” Reaches my ears and she emerges with the item in question. “You guys lost this in an alley or something, right?”

“Well, about that…” I try to find the words, watching Kogasa tilt her head slightly. “We kind of, uh, live there.” Feels weird to actually admit my homelessness to someone outside of the group, but the youkai’s expression doesn’t reflect any disgust, thankfully; it’s more sympathetic than anything I’d say. 

“Oh, don’t worry! I understand.” She flashes me a friendly smile before continuing. “A lot of my friends are having trouble finding homes too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, sir!” Man, she’s too kind, I swear…

“Uh, th-thanks.” is all I manage to muster in response, unable to keep eye contact from the embarrassment. Come on, get a grip! Clearing my throat, I quickly swipe the pan from the counter she’s placed it on–still avoiding her gaze–before asking my next question. “So. You’re a blacksmith…right?” Man, what the fuck is up with me? I’m just making it even more awkward!

“Yes…?” Despite my weirdness, Kogasa’s quickly reverts to that pleasant business tone. “Do you have a request, sir?” Okay, the ‘sir’ is getting kind of old. Might as well tell her my name; I’ll probably need it too for this idea to work. Let me just put this heavy ass pan down first.

Alright, here goes. “Call me Joe. And yeah, I have a request.” Fumbling through my pocket, I indulge in a few deep breaths to calm myself during the time it takes for my gun to be retrieved. “So.” I place it on the countertop with a heavy thud, soon followed by the ting of my shovel following suit. “I need you to make these two into a youkai hunting weapon.” This might be my smartest idea, not gonna lie…

“Well, I can do that…” I tear my eyes away from my weaponry to see the woman mumbling to herself, deep in thought. I catch a few snippets–something about not being used to doing something–but honestly I’m starting to get a bit impatient; better to just get this over with, before things get too weird.

Crouching down to lift the cooking utensil off the floor, I rest the pan’s head on my shoulder. “I’ll come get it next week or something. Tell me the cost then.” And with that I start hauling ass to leave before she can stop me. Thank God that’s over… Might have fucked my order up, but I can deal with that next week; Now, where did those idiots run off to?

“Joe, do you have any experience with fires?” Nomura calls over his shoulder. “I literally can’t get this thing to start.” Man, does no one here know survival skills?

Whatever, man. “Come here. I’ll do it myself.” The man hands me the rocks, before taking my freshly vacated seat on the grass. Approaching the pile of firewood, I take a crouch before getting to work striking the damn things.

A spark or two occasionally flies off–at completely unwanted angles mind you–and more than once I nearly set my clothes alight instead of the tinder. “Fuck!” A yelp escapes me as I slam one of the flints right into my left thumb. How the hell does anyone get this done in the movies?

“Are you alright, Joe?” Nomura’s concerned voice chimes in right as I start suckling the injured digit within my mouth. “We can just wait for the others to get here, you know…” Oh, fuck off.

I can’t back down now! “I’m fine. Let me do this.” This is a matter of pride; if I can’t even make a proper fire then what respect will I have left? It would have been a different story if I got stuck with the job, but my dumbass just had to volunteer, didn’t it?

Well, no use sulking now. I shift my focus back to my hands, this time taking a more deliberate approach. After a dozen or so more attempts I’m starting to deduce some sort of pattern; the direction of the rocks as they collide appears to influence where the sparks fly off to, and so do the sides stricken. It feels almost like I’ve got it down to an exact science by now! “Come on.” I repeat under my breath for the umpteenth time. “Almost…”

Just as I prepare to perform what is hopefully my final attempt, a tap on my shoulder swiftly scrambles my thoughts; before I know it my right hand completely misses its target, instead barrelling towards the firewood–swiftly hitting a bullseye with an uncomfortably loud crack as splinters and twigs alike scatter around. “God damn it! What?” Turning my gaze towards the culprit, it's none other than S.C…

“Man, your aim kinda sucks.” Wow, I wonder why? “You might wanna let me do it, you know.” No way in hell am I swallowing my pride in front of this egomaniac!

Heaving a sigh, I choose to ignore his blatant provocation, instead focusing on a more pressing question. “What do you want?” I can’t even punish this asshole anymore. God, I miss my shovel…

“Well, Joaquin wanted you to use this.” He holds outs… Another pair of rocks? What use is that? “Take it already, man. Don’t make it weird.” Uh, sure I guess?

I let my current equipment tumble from my hands, and as my grip tightens around the new pair, I realize one of the stones is pretty damn smooth. “Woah.” Inspecting it more closely, it would be more appropriate to call the pair a ‘flint and steel’. “Thanks, Bell.” I could actually do something with this.

And I do, quickly igniting the messy pile of kindling within just a couple of clicks of the items. Man, this was heavenly to use compared to just banging rocks together; might not be a bad idea to buy, if I can get my damn salary that is. But whatever, I reason, tossing stray pieces of timber into the flames. It’s not like I have a say in my wages, at least not before the youkai hunting gig can take off…

“Put this skewer over the fire.” Joaquin instructs S.C, and I watch the man set up a serviceable–if flimsy–setup to grill the chicken meat. “Careful with the skewers! I borrowed those.” Man, I haven’t had barbecue’d meat in ages.

A rumble escapes my tummy as I place my order. “Make sure it’s juicy, man. I don’t like too much char on my food.” Oh, right! I almost forgot. “And don’t give me anything weird, just the legs and breasts. Keep the feet skin on.”

Now with that out of the way, I stretch out my legs fully–swiftly assaulted by the soreness accumulated from the crouching–and begin waddling back to take a seat next to Nomura.

Just in time to hear Bell’s announcement too. “Alright guys, so I’ve never really cooked chicken like this before… Don’t get too excited alright?” Man, who even cares at this point? I’m hungry enough to eat the damn bird raw by this point! But it wouldn’t be good if I went and got salmonella, so there’s nothing to do now but wait.

If only I had some corn to pass the time with… My eyes turn slowly towards Nomura, burning with purpose, as the man in question smiles nervously in response. “You know what I want.” With a sigh, he relents–hands clasped in prayer to whatever god he’s getting his Uber Eats deliveries from, I guess. Whatever the specifics, I get my snack, and all is well.

Chapter Text

I don’t hear–so much as feel–a thud greeting my consciousness to the waking world, letting out a weak groan as the pain of impact with the floor soon follows. “Ouch…” Must have rolled off the counter in my sleep or something; an increasingly common occurrence these past couple of nights. Man, one of these days I’m actually going to break the floorboards…

Walking to one of the windows facing the storefront, I part the clothes draped across it to the side to reveal faint moonlight. Way too early then… I should really talk to Kosuzu about a futon or something, my back might give out! Well, no use dwelling on it before dawn; better get on back to sleep.

Another yawn wracks my body as I rub my bleary eyes, just barely noticing a couple of misplaced books lying on the floor from my peripheral vision. Weird, I was sure I cleaned the place up. Nevertheless, I’ve still got to do my job–lest Kosuzu find a reason to revoke the privilege of housing from me. At least the books are kind of interesting, I guess; lots of variety here. Looking at one of the covers I can make out ‘Demon Law’ and ‘Base’ among the kanji adorning the front, which makes me pause for a bit. Kind of dangerous to have stuff like this out on display, isn’t it? But then again there’s barely anyone around here, and she’s been running the place by her lonesome, so maybe I might just be sticking my nose into this for no reason.

With the few straggling pieces of merchandise placed back on the shelves, it’s finally time to use my newfound freedom–and I promptly exercise it by sitting as comfortably as I can into my chair behind the counter. It would be pretty hard to fall asleep like this normally, but sleep deprivation is a powerful thing, and before I know it my eyes are shut–coaxing my mind to drift away soon after.

With a shink of my blade, I dig the metal deep into my enemy’s back and grin at the sight of coins erupting from its body. The youkai only manages a weak shrieking before falling apart, soon overshadowed by the beautiful sound of thousands of coins colliding. “Hell yeah, I’m going to be rich!” Not sure what overtook me, but the results didn’t lie; yen almost completely covered the ground, and that’s only because my pockets were stuffed already. With this much I might be able to buy a small house, and a nice, soft mattress…

“Puny human dares to turn his back on Heavy!” Holy shit, the volume of this guy! I turn around and get nearly blinded by the glare of the floodlight shining off the man’s bald head. The lad’s a massive one, that’s for sure, and the minigun he’s rocking leaves nothing to the imagination; I’m about to be- ratatatatatata- Oh shit! Before I can react, the sounds of rapidfire projectiles blast through the air, and I can only cower in fear as they pelt everything around me…

…Though the fact that I haven’t gotten hit even once is a bit strange. As the whirring of the giant murder weapon lowers in volume, I dare to crack open my eyes and am greeted by a new pattern of decorative bullet holes adorning the floor and walls–covering almost everything but the area around me weirdly enough. I know the minigun is heavy, but his aim can’t be this shit! “Dude.” Turning back to my assailant, I prepare to lay into him. “How the actual hell did you miss every-” Huh, where the hell did he go? Matter of fact, where did all the coins go? “Man, there goes my mansion.” I knew this shit was too good to be true… Can’t have shit in Detroit.

The new room I’m in looks way more depressing, all things considered; empty metal drums cluster in random parts of the room, and there’s some unreadable text written on the walls. Where even am I, man? But of course, instead of an answer, a loud clang reverberates through the place and scares the ever-loving shit out of me for the third time since I came to. “Holy shit!” A crushed can clatters to the floor before rolling to my feet, with the label reading ‘BONK’ in large lettering. Just what is going on here? 

Clank, clank, clank. More of its kind follow suit, and one slams into the back of my head, forcing me onto my knees from the pain. “Ow! What gives?” Stupid ass cans… I really should do something about them; the only question is, what?

“What’s all that racket?” A voice calls from a distance, soon revealing itself to be…Reimu? “Hey, ya okay?” Considering the fact that you’re speaking like the guy from Terminator, I’m not sure honestly.

“Uh, yeah.” I take a minute to look at the mess of cans surrounding my cowering form. “I’m fine, I think.” At least it stopped raining. “So, who are you?”

Her (his?) expression changes to one of incredulity. “How don’t ya know me, I’m Remu Hakuri!” Yeah, right! I can’t take her seriously with that goofy voice, even as she gets in my face. “And who are yew, huh?” Wow, am I that forgettable?

“I’m Joaquin! From the shrine a few days ago?” Don’t tell me you’re going senile already. Reimu's mouth opens in response, but the ensuing dialogue is cut off pretty abruptly by the Heavy bursting through the wall behind me. “W-What the hell is this?”

His damned laugh is all I get before his minigun starts whirring to life. From the corner of my eye I catch a flash of motion, and within an instant Reimu is right in front of the towering man. A swift kick to his meaty arm destabilizes his aim, and the bullets meant for us go flying in the wrong direction. “Joaquin!” The miko shouts as she bolts for the exit, barely audible over the roar of the firearm. “Follow me!” Don’t have to tell me twice.

The echoed clanks of our footfalls on the steel floor ring in my ears, accompanied by the distant sounds of gunfire and bullets impacting the walls behind us. “So, got any ideas on how to get out of here?” I look towards my companion. “I don’t know how good his aim is but we’re probably going to get hit sooner or later.” Speaking of, why is this hallway so damn long? I’m pretty sure it’s been a good couple of minutes already, and I still can’t see any end to it.

“Here’s tha plan, we fight!” She rapid fires, slurring her words.

“What?” No way I heard that correctly.

“I said,” Comes the response. “We FIGHT!” And without missing a beat, Reimu pivots on her heel and switches directions almost instantly–right as ‘bad to the bone’ of all things riffs through the hallway. Is she crazy? I can’t even fight without my dagger! Actually… Let me check my pockets real quick; I must’ve put it somewhere.

“Not here…” These coins are making it really hard to check, but it’s probably somewhere in between. A moment passing has me check my back pockets instead–and there it is! “Aha!” Unsheathing my dagger, I take a moment to admire its shining blade before following my ally into battle.

Spotting my approach, Reimu takes a second to respond in between her and her adversary's clash. “Aboot time! A little help would be nice.”

The fight itself is a mess; with Heavy’s enraged yelling and the roaring of the damned minigun, I’m pretty sure I’m going to go deaf sooner or later, yet I continue to join Reimu in the assault against the titan of a man. She lands flurries of kicks across his body–lashing out with her gohei whenever the man tries to bring her in firing range–as I take the considerably safer role of stabbing him as much as I can in the meantime. Not sure how effective it is, but we do eventually wear down the Russian supersoldier badly enough to let out a mighty roar of pain.

“Let’s see puny humans fight Heavy on full stomach!” Wait what-oh god no. He’s pulling out a sandwich! This is bad!

“Reimu!” I wail to the miko, who’s still trying to beat him to death. “Get the sandwich!”

Quick as lightning the foodstuff is gone from Heavy’s hands, and Reimu reappears next to me, holding out the sandwich. “Here ya go, man! Do what ya gotta.” Man, she’s fast!

Swiping the sandwich, I pull out my sealshaker and sprinkle an unhealthy amount of the mammals onto it before handing it back. “Make sure he eats this.”

“Yew got it!” With a flick of her wrist it goes flying through the air–trailing little wailing seals behind it–and nails Heavy straight in the face. “Ow sheet! My bad.”

Surprisingly, the big guy just eats the damn thing–no questions asked–and starts spasming on the floor within seconds. Reimu’s voice–completely devoid of its accent–joins in with his exaggerated sounds of agony as an instrumental starts…somewhere in the building. “Vis dans l'ignorance et achète ton bonheur-!“ Amidst the incomprehensible vocals, Heavy starts rolling around at ungodly speeds, shaking the whole place with every wall he throws himself into.

Not sure what I should really do in this situation. Should I put him out of his misery? It’s a mercy at this point. Tightening my hold on the dagger, I inch closer to the mercenary-turned-safety-hazard with resolution. A downward stab meets only metal with a thud. Where did he- “Augh!” Another one of those stupid cries and the whole place starts to shake, cracking the ground underneath me as bits of scrap flake from the ceiling.

“JOAQUIIIIIN!” Reimu suddenly shouts–accent back in place–and I flick my head towards her for a moment before following her-Holy shit is the ceiling falling? Before I can even think of moving, the rapidly approaching segment of steel hits my face, and with one last sickening crunch the impact knocks the daylights out of me.

Thud, thud, thud. A loud series of knocks on the door jolt me awake, and I waste no time in getting up and trying to look as presentable as I can in the short time it takes me to reach the door. Fumbling with the key, I hastily undo the lock, and open the door to the miffed face of my employer. “Took you long enough! Why hasn't the store opened yet?” Oh, right. I should’ve had the door unlocked by now. Thankfully the sun hasn’t reached its apex, so I didn’t oversleep by a lot. “You do remember our terms, correct?” Yikes, I’m in for it now.

Well, probably best to just come clean. “I had some trouble sleeping last night, and overslept. It won’t happen again.” I quickly add. Kosuzu levels a hard look at me for a moment before breaking away with a tired sigh.

“That’s alright, but listen here.” She pauses, before continuing. “I’ve got a business to run, and I can’t have you messing things up. We’ve gotta make ends meet, just like everyone else, so please don’t make me regret letting you stay here. Do you understand?” Yeah, that’s true; the store building isn’t exactly the picture of wealth either.

Probably should be more mindful about her position too, considering the hospitality I’m already getting. “I do. I promise I won’t let you down.”

That seems to be the answer she was hoping for, as the girl nods with a smile before turning back to the doorway. “Great! I’ll be going then. Do a good job today, I have a client coming again!” With that last tidbit, she opens the back door and disappears into her office. Another client huh? I wonder if it’s Aya again…

Well, in any case I should get to work. Skipping breakfast definitely won’t be pleasant, but it’s my fault for sleeping in so damn late; at least I had something of a schedule when I was homeless… Returning back to the inside of the bookshop, I quickly give the bookshelves a once-over to make sure nothing fell again before grabbing the dusting cloth. The amount of dust the furniture in here gathers is frankly unreasonable with how cramped the place is, but who knows it’s probably just due to tiny pieces of whatever flaking off the walls or something. No matter though; with just a bit of water, dusting the place becomes trivial–and I’m pretty quickly left with nothing more to do–so I start my daily routine and grab a newspaper copy off the stand to read at my leisure. I’m starting to understand a bit of what’s going on in the papers, but a lot is still difficult to make out; hopefully I can continue working on my japanese like this. 

Maybe I’m still a bit out of it, because in taking the topmost copy, I send the rest sprawling across the floor–and man is that a lot of dust they kicked up! “Damn it, I forgot…” How the hell did I forget the floor? We have a rag for a reason after all. First things first I make for the scattered newspapers, stacking them neatly into a pile before fanning the things and returning them to their rightful place. Let’s just hope no one cares to complain about any leftover dust… Next is the floor, which in itself is hell to clean even with the store as empty as it is at the moment. Moistening the piece of cloth again, I begin diligently removing the floor of dust bit-by-bit.

It takes a good ten minutes or so to clean out a third of the place before I realize there’re customers waiting at the counter. A girl with short violet hair–looking suspiciously like Akyuu–catches my eye, and offers me a halting gesture before I can straighten up from my task. I suppose she’s fine with waiting then, so I continue my losing battle against the filth marring the floorboards; it’s kind of depressing to know that the whole place is going to get filthy again in a couple of days, but I guess it is something to break up the monotony of the day. In another five to ten minutes I finish cleaning up most of the important areas–or at least the ones that’d be the most noticeable–and return to the counter, where I find Akyuu engrossed in conversation with another customer.

The newcomer is on the taller side–though still a good head or so below me–donning a monochrome hoodie and a pair of glasses, along with a head of fairly short black hair and some facial hair; one of the easier outsiders to identify, in all honesty, even without taking into account his tanned skin. Clearing my throat, I begin speaking with a practiced smile. “Good afternoon to you miss, and to you too sir! How can I help the two of you?”

A greeting in kind is uttered by the both of them, and a short moment of silence follows before Akyuu chooses to speak. “Oh, please go ahead.” She turns to the outsider. “I don’t mind waiting for a bit.”

“Alright then. Excuse me, I’m looking for a dictionary. In Japanese of course, but if you have any others I’d like to check them out!” Oh, a dictionary? That’s a new one. Might have to check the shelves for that, honestly.

Actually… “I’m not sure if we have that, actually. Would you like me to help you in looking?” Akyuu did say she was alright with waiting her turn, and meeting outsiders that aren’t Joe, Nomura, or Sc is pretty uncommon. “Come with me.”

I vacate my seat from behind the counter–customer in tow–and mosey on over to the shelves. I should probably reorganize these at some point, come to think of it. Something more to do later, I suppose. “So,” I pipe up, eyes still skimming along the spines of various books adorning the rack. “How’d you end up here, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

With a light chuckle, the man responds. “Yeah, sure. I’ll share my tale if you’ll do the same. How about it?” Sounds alright to me. No harm in a bit of sharing.

“Sure!” I turn my head towards the customer, giving him a smile as our eyes meet. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Sweet.” The outsider grins before returning to the search for a dictionary. “So here’s how it went down. I’m pretty sure I was out to get a snack or something from the store, but the details are a bit fuzzy.” Huh, so he’s got some short-term amnesia or something? “Anyways, next thing I know I wake up in the middle of some beat up old road. All I really had on me was my wallet and phone.” Damn, literally what happened with me and the guys, then. Though I did get that dagger out of nowhere, and I’m not sure if Joe’s even old enough to own a firearm. “There wasn’t any damn signal, so I did the next best thing and followed the road.” All on his own? “Quite sure I spent a good couple of hours walking before I even saw the village.”

Wait, what the hell? “Hold on, how’d you get to the village by yourself?” It took four of us to make it there alive! “It’s pretty far away from what I remember. We got there way past nightfall.”

“Oh, yeah no I just started jogging when I saw the village in the distance. And it still wasn’t enough!” The man gesticulates in frustration. “I ended up having to run through the grass before it got too dark! Probably one of my stupidest ideas to date, but the sun was already setting so I didn’t have much choice.” With a weary sigh, his eyes return to scanning the various tomes before suddenly widening. “Oh! I found it.”

Watching the outsider crouch to retrieve the dictionary reminds me of the important client still waiting at the counter. “Alright, then. You’ll have to excuse me, but I’ll probably need to save my story for another time.” Man, I can’t even see the front from here. “I’ve kept the other customer waiting long enough.”

“Ah, right! No worries at all, man.” He straightens back up, offering a pleasant smile. “I’ll probably be back for more reading, soon enough! Until then, what’s your name?”

Ah, right. I haven’t introduced myself. “My name’s Joaquin.” And of course I have to follow up in kind. “What’s yours?”

The stranger hums to himself for a moment, before answering. “Call me Snek!” Okay, yeah. Definitely an outsider.

Eh, whatever I suppose. At least it isn’t something like Joe. “Well, see you later Snek!” I raise a hand in farewell, and leave the man to his reading. 

Coming back to the front desk, Akyuu seems to have taken up a seat at the counter, reading through a random book. “Sorry for the delay, miss…?”

“My name is Hieda no Akyuu.” The girl replies before looking up at my approach. “And it’s no trouble at all, really!” Exiting the chair, she circles back around to the front of the table before continuing. “Now, could I ask you to fetch Kosuzu, mister?”

“Joaquin.” I automatically reply. Rare for anyone other than Aya to visit the boss. “Alright, give me a second.” I quickly make my way to the back door–and into the office itself–where Kosuzu herself seems to be checking out some musty-looking scrolls from a small pile gathered on the desk. “Boss, some Akyuu lady wants to speak with you.” I waste no time in telling the startled girl.

It takes a moment for my employer to gather her wits to respond. “Oh! Yes, yes I almost forgot! Tell her I’ll be out in about ten minutes or so.” With that she starts to rapidly roll up the pieces of parchment- and the whole pile goes tumbling onto the floor. “Ugh… Make it fifteen.” I take that as my cue to leave before her mood can worsen, and return to the counter to inform Akyuu of the delay.

“I see. Would you mind it if I kept you company until then?” The chronicler asks politely. “I don’t have much of an interest in the store’s current stock.” I don’t see why not.

“Sure thing, miss Akyuu.” I take my seat at the desk, and shift my gaze back to the newspaper–now open at a completely different page from before. Turning back to the page I left off at, I try to make sense of the new articles for a handful of seconds, before deciding that a conversation would probably be a much better idea. “Say, what business do you have here, if you don’t mind me asking?”

A hum reaches my ears, while my eyes lazily drift from across random kanji. “It’s not really business.” Yeah, I’d think the place would be in less of a sorry state if she was a regular client here. “I merely came to spend some time with Kosuzu. My work can get quite tiresome, you know.” Her words provide the perfect opening to inquire about her.

So naturally, I take the opportunity to pry. “Oh? What job do you do?” Would probably do me well to cover my bases with Akyuu. Don’t want her of people getting suspicious of me. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you in the market before.” The girl in question lets out a giggle at my statement.

“Well of course not! I’m a chronicler, after all.” She puts a hand on her chest in a show of pride. “I am a reincarnation of the child of Miare, and my lineage and I perform the task of documenting the history of Gensokyo. I’m sure my work would be quite beneficial to an outsider such as you.” Oh, right… I haven’t read the Gensokyo Chronicle. Although I shouldn’t really have a need to, if I’m not planning on leaving the village in any real capacity.

“Ah, I haven’t actually gotten the chance to give much reading a chance.” And I can’t understand japanese script either. “I just got this job less than a week ago, and I’ve only really been able to read up on some newspapers in the meantime.”

“I have been curious.” Akyuu states, flicking her gaze across my clothes and back to my face. “How did you end up working here? I haven’t ever seen an employee here aside from Kosuzu, and her grandfather on occasion.”

Oh, boy. Here we go again. “Well, basically, my friends and I got spirited away, and we found this village. We were looking for jobs, and I happened to ask for one in this store.” Well more like pleaded for one–but she doesn’t need to know that. “I’ve been working here for about four days now.”

“I see. And how is the village treating you so far?” I can’t just say it sucks, now, can I?

“It hasn’t been too terrible, all things considered.” I guess I could have gotten unlucky and been eaten by youkai, which would have sucked more. “It is a bit boring, though. There’s not much to do outside of working, and all the instruments and stuff here cost a fortune!” 

Akyuu’s eyes glimmer with newfound interest, “Are you a musician by chance?” Right, I suppose music would be nearly impossible to pursue for most people in this day and age.

Well, no need to lie. “Yes, although I’m not a professional. I play the violin. What about you?” It would be nice to know a fellow musician.

“I do know how to play quite a few, but I mostly record the methods instead of applying them.” The girl takes a moment to think before she continues. “You said you played a ‘violin’?” I offer a quick nod. “Could you describe what it looks like?” A tragedy indeed.

“Well, it’s basically a string instrument with a bow used to play it.” Should I compare it to a guitar?

Her expression changes from confusion to realization as I finish my lackluster explanation. “Oh, you mean a kokyu?” What the hell is a kokyu?

“I don’t think so?” Could be a japanese name or something, but wouldn’t it be obvious then? “Uhh, it’s basically held in one hand and the bow is used with the other. Does that remind you of anything?” All I get in response is silence, although her confused expression leaves little in the way of speculation.

The sound of a door handle being fiddled with cuts off our conversation, and not a moment later Kosuzu emerges from her office. “Finally…” Her expression lights up, however, when she catches sight of Akyuu. “Akyuu! Sorry for the wait; I had to clean some things up.”

The chronicler flashes her friend a patient smile in response. “It’s no trouble at all, Kosuzu. Your employee here kept me company!”

“Is that so?” My employer briefly gazes at me with an approving grin. “I’m glad to hear it! Now come, I have some things to show you!” And with that she retreats into the back once more.

“Before I go.” I bring my attention back to Akyuu. “Would you mind coming over to my estate?” Wait what? “I have a room full of instruments, so it would probably be easier to identify your ‘violin’ in person.”

This is perfect! “Uh, not at all!” I quickly reply. “When are you available?” I can’t wait to actually play some music again.

“I have an opening today, if it isn’t an issue.” It just gets better, and better! “Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, it’s fine! I’ll come over after my shift.” Just need to endure a couple more hours of limbo… the girl nods and departs for her waiting friend, leaving me free to continue doing nothing. “Just a couple of hours…”

After quite more than a couple of hours, I finally attain freedom from my job, and with the sky rapidly approaching dusk I make my way to the Hieda estate. Kosuzu was nice enough to give me directions, and after less than twenty minutes of walking I manage to spot the place.

It’s pretty damn huge, as far as housing standards in the village go, and unlike them there’s a whole ass perimeter walled off around it. I can see guards stationed on either side of the gate too.

Approaching the nearest one nets me a cold glare, along with a questioning. “What is your business here?”

“I’m the uh, guy miss Akyuu asked to help with instrument sorting.” Hopefully my name is enough. “Joaquin.”

The sentinel exchanges a nod with his fellow before they open the gate, and I waste no time in entering the courtyard. It’s not too large, but the colorful flowerbeds decorating the area make the area quite appealing to look at.

Making my way into the building proper, I begin looking through the place for where I was meant to go. A hallway tread, and a floor climbed soon lead me to a room with an open door, where the chronicler herself sits–in the middle of writing something.

“Ah! Joaquin, you made it.” Is all the greeting I receive before she rises from the desk and moves past me into the hallway. “Come, the instrument room is only a few rooms further.”

I follow her lead to the instrument room in question, and my god I was not ready to see this many in one place. “The ‘violin’ you were talking about should likely be in here.” I barely register Akyuu’s statement as my gaze is filled with so many different tools of music.

Just after a few seconds of checking around, however, I see it; wrapped and covered in several ofuda and seals, a violin rests in a corner of the room. “Found it!” I carefully begin to approach the instrument.

My guide says something, but I don’t really listen, because I can finally play again. Tenderly, I grab ahold of the violin and its bow, and let muscle memory play a nice little warmup tune. The accompanying melody is enough to send shivers of joy jolting down my spine, and quickly I wrap up my small demonstration to gauge the one-man audience’s reaction.

Akyuu’s awed expression throws me for a bit of a loop; it was good, but nothing revolutionary. “Um, how was it?” Surely she’s heard better players.

“H-How did you do that?” Do what? At my puzzled expression, the girl clears her throat. “What I meant to say was, how did you tame the spirit inside it?” Yeah, I’m lost.

Idly twirling the bow between my fingers, I try to formulate a proper response. “What do you mean? I just played it normally.” I play a few more notes to emphasize my point. “It seems fine to me.”

“None of the musicians in the village nor my family could get it to make proper music, so we assumed it was haunted.” The chronicler lets out something between a cough and a chuckle. “I suppose we just couldn’t figure out how to play it…” Well that explains all the charms and stuff, but the more pressing matter has to be the complete lack of violin knowledge in the whole village.

I need to rectify this mistake as soon as I can. “No worries, I can explain how it works. It’s pretty easy to understand!” At least the basics aren’t too bad to master. “Should I also explain the music theory behind it?”

Akyuu snaps at the opportunity. “Oh, yes! We should move to the chronicling room, then.” My host begins leading us towards our destination. “This might take a while, I hope that’s okay.”

Not an issue at all. “Yeah, I don’t mind. I’m completely free for today.” And it’s a lovely one to spend making music. I have a feeling I’ll be enjoying some pleasant dreams tonight…

Chapter Text

“Hey, you guys!” I saunter over to the chumps standing guard duty near the village entrance. “I have a question about the Youkai.” The two turn their heads to give me a side-eye, but what do I care? They’ll know my name soon enough. “What’s the bounty for killing youkai usually worth?”

At my query, the man on my right changes his expression to one of hesitance before speaking up. “Well, it’s about five thousand yen… But are you sure?” Now what’s the matter?

These people really love to underestimate me. “Why’s that, huh? I’ve already hunted a youkai like three days ago, so I’m pretty qualified.” I should’ve told Kogasa to give me a part of her dress or something, man… I’ll have to remember that for this time.

“Well, actually.” The other one chimes in. “We’ve gotten reports of a big rise in youkai activity yesterday. It doesn’t seem to be the work of any particular youkai, but it’s still very dangerous out there.” With that he fixes me with an ominous glare. “Knowing this, are you still sure you want to go hunting?” Oh, come on.

A few more goons than usual isn’t going to stop me. “Yeah, I’m sure. Just have my money ready when I come back.” I take my leave from the conversation. If those village idiots are too pussy to stick their necks out, then I’ll just take the extra cash for myself. Maybe I’ll treat the other guys to a feast; that would be a blast! 

Ah, and I can already see the bridge from here! At this rate I should be done with this hunting thing by the evening or something. “Oh wait, shit.” My crowbar! It’s still with Kogasa, but I’m going to looking like a fucking moron if I come back empty handed–especially after all that big talk. What do I do now?

Wait a second, I can just summon it back! The stupid upgrading job should have been done by now, and if it isn’t then that’s not on me. Satisfied with my reasoning, I nod to myself before holding out my palm–willing my crowbar to return. The sudden force acting on my hand proves my success, but the clinking of metal catches me off guard. “What the fuck?” What did that youkai do to my poor crowbar?

She forged the head of the thing to be more akin to a sickle–which admittedly is pretty cool–but the long chain connected to the base, as well as the weight dangling at the other end utterly confound me. Actually, it kinda reminds me of a weird pair of nunchucks. What if I… 

Swinging around the metal bit at the other is actually pretty easy, thanks to the length of the chain, and with how fast it's swishing around I could probably even throw- Thud. “Augh!” Holy shit I think I fractured my shoulder or something! A pained wheeze escapes my lips as I try to massage my poor shoulderbone. That’s what I get for not practicing with this thing before, but at least I had the good sense to try it before entering the forest; things would have gotten ugly otherwise.

Alright, one more time. I raise the arm holding the chain well above my head before I start swinging the thing again. “One, two, three!” And I let go as the weight goes flying ahead. A faint crunch sounds out as the metal impacts grass a good few feet away from me; some of the chain is still slack though, so I’d wager it has a bit more range than I thought. 

Man this thing is pretty sweet, not gonna lie! There might have been a few hiccups here and there, but this could be crazy for hunting pesky youkai. I can already imagine it; one of those fuckers tries to fly away from me or something, and I hit it with the weight and pull it in for a finishing blow–Scorpion style! With my mind brimming with ideas, I pull the weight back and coil its chain in my left hand, while tightly gripping my scythe with the right.

A deep breath to calm my nerves, and I’m as ready as can be. Enough playing around; time to show those idiots back at the village what a real man can do!

Man, those guys were not joking about the youkai activity; the forest was practically a graveyard the last time I came here compared to how much of an uproar the place is this time around. If only that meant there were actual targets, but so far all I’ve been hearing is basic shit like ‘food’, and ‘hungry’ or ‘scared’ so they’re probably just worthless small-fry. Honestly I don’t know what those guards were so scared of; I’m practically at the top of the food chain here.

A few more minutes of the Godless racket go on as I focus on my sight and hearing, trying to spot something–anything at this point–out of the ordinary, when I hear a faint womanly voice in between the meaningless wails of the mobs. Almost immediately, I pivot and begin hurrying towards the direction of the sound, trading speed for stealth as I begin nearing my destination.

“-Still not enough!” Creeping slowly behind a bush–careful not to make noise with my weapon like last time–I take in the sight of my target; of course it’s a lady with some orange-brown hair; I think it’s called dirty blonde? “These stupid animals keep eating everything…” The woman’s hair is done in a ponytail, and she looks pretty slender, wearing what seems to be a dark blue kimono with something akin to an eye imprinted across the lower back. The knots of her ribbon-thing look almost like wings, and I swear I can see a couple of smaller circles along her sleeve. 

All in all, her looks–paired with the basket she appears to be holding–make her feel graceful, like a mom or something… Too bad, but I still need my pay, and there’s a lot more youkai out there waiting for me to hunt them, so I should probably make this quick.

Should I try out that trick idea from earlier? She doesn’t look that dangerous, but Kogasa was packing some crazy firepower for her size too; she was a named character though, so I guess she would have more power than some random? “I really should be getting ba-” …Wait. Why’d she stop talking? I lift my gaze once more up to the youkai–who stares right back at me.

We both stay like that for a moment, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, before the woman suddenly lunges for me–her forgotten belongings sent scattering across the ground. What the hell? “Get off me!” I throw myself to the side–narrowly managing to avoid a tree–and tuck into a roll before immediately losing all my momentum. Shit. “What did I do, huh?” Man, it’s hard to end a roll standing up…

“You’re not fooling anyone!” I turn around at the shout, and- She’s coming back round! A faint crack sounds as another narrow miss results in her nails gouging out a few chunks from the trunk behind me, and I waste no time in bringing up my crowbar to my torso, just in time to block a strike that might have gutted me outright. “I’ll kill you, fiend!” What is she on about? The handle of my sickle slams into the youkai’s jaw, and I aim a kick at her midsection–which connects with a thump–and has the woman double over in a fit of pain.

Finally! “I’ll try to make this quick.” Quickly scrambling to my feet I lift my rod of doom and slash at the woman’s head, but right as I bring down the scythe, several hairy limbs burst out from her back. My strike is easily deflected–and just as I try to backtrack- “Ow!” My right calf erupts in pain. “Let go of me you fucking whore!” No sooner than I say that the bitch pulls me to the ground too, immediately followed by lashing out with one of her many appendages–and leaving a trail of burning agony in its wake. I can’t help the scream that escapes my lungs, but the youkai doesn’t give a fuck; barely a few seconds after splitting my face, I feel another claw hook into my bleeding leg–quickly leading into her swinging me round and round before letting go.

Fuck, man; I don’t think I’m getting out of this one… I was lucky enough to avoid hitting any trees, but my bones feel like soggy cement. I don’t think I managed to inflict much damage either If that lady’s still hitting this hard–not to mention the spider legs she was just casually hiding. “Not so tough now, are you?” Oh God, oh God no–she’s actually going to kill me! “Even with your cowardice you couldn’t kill me.” Can she shut up already? I don’t want to go out getting shit-talked, man; this week’s been torture enough… “You’re pathetic, demon.” She spits out. You know what? Fuck this!

“That’s it, I’m done!” Who does this bitch think she is? “You don’t know me! You don’t fucking know me!” I don’t know when I started thrashing, but I really don’t feel like stopping either. “It’s not fair!” I roar. “I’m tired of all you bastards looking down on me! First the villagers try to kill me, then my friends act like they hate me, and now you start too?” Why does everyone hate me, man? “It isn’t fair! What did I do, huh?” My struggles slow as my energy starts to fade, and as footsteps approach, I can only catch a glimpse of a blurry hand reaching out towards me. So this is it, then? Those good-for-nothings are gonna be real happy I bet. No more having to deal with-

My train of thought is utterly derailed as a slender finger traces my eyelid, flicking away tears I didn’t know I was crying. “W-What?” I blurt out in my delirium. “What are you doing?” Is this heaven…?

“Hush, it’s okay.” The woman caresses the unhurt side of my face. “You’re safe now.” Man, this is kinda nice.

Just like that, a few quiet moments pass–with the lady switching to stroking my hair now–and I feel much calmer by the end of it. When I finally have my thoughts mostly under control again, I dare to ask the million-dollar question. “So, why didn’t you kill me?” Her continued silence tells me that I might have fucked up.

“Well…” Oh, nevermind; I’m safe after all–I think. “I didn’t really mean to attack any humans.” The youkai clears her throat before continuing. “I’m hunting for demons, and I thought you were one trying to kill me.” Hold on, demon?

I know I’m not the hottest guy around, but I’m not that ugly. Joaquin or Joe I could see being called demons, but what the hell did I do? “Wait, why did you think I was a demon?” I try to catch her gaze from my spot on the ground, but the hand stroking my hair doesn’t relent–so I end up slumping back down and enjoying the sensation.

With the most nonchalant voice, the woman gives some crazy answers. “Your skin gave you away.” My skin…? “You clearly looked charred from the fire you had supposedly escaped from, so I assumed you were a demon.” What the hell? I thought racism was my thing! “But when I saw you crying like that, I knew you were truly human.”

“I wasn’t crying, mom.” I protest, getting back to my feet. The hair stroking was nice and all, but I should probably get something for my face. It stings pretty bad when something so much as brushes the gash marring my right cheek. Just as I try to rise to full height do I realize one important fact; I did get thrown with the force of a small car, and my legs do nothing but ache violently in response to my commands. “Fuck, I can’t get up.” This is pretty bad. “I need to get something for my face.”

Without so much as a word I get effortlessly scooped up in my assailant’s arms, and she starts unceremoniously marching to God-knows where. “I’ll take you to my house. We have bandages.” Wait, when did I consent to this? “Don’t worry it isn’t far!”

“Do you really have to carry me like this?” It makes me feel weird… “I can probably manage on my own in a bit.” This is pretty embarrassing too!

The youkai–to her credit–merely gives a slight tilt of her head as she gazes down at me. “Are you sure? I did throw you quite hard, so I don’t think you should be moving around just yet. Besides…” The corners of her lips curl up. “You reminded me a lot of my son, calling me ‘mom’, so I thought I’d spoil you a bit.” Huh? Son? And wait, what did I-

“I meant man, not mom!” My reply comes instantly. Man, why the fuck do I have to say the most embarrassing things out loud? At least I didn’t call her a mommy… “You know what I mean, right?” The subsequent nod I receive feels more pitying than understanding, but whatever; I’ll take what I can get. So, I get comfortable and buckle in for the ride.

“It’s awesome I tell you! No stupid government in the market so businesses can do whatever they want, and everyone has the right to defend themselves!” My expression must have lit up with joy, judging by the bemused expression on the lady’s face. ”I haven’t gotten a gun yet, but I was gonna get like three of them soon, at least before this Gensokyo thing.” Who knows, maybe I still can! Though it would depend on what Yukari lets into the barrier…

The youkai carrying me–even if I can probably walk by now–lets out a snort of laughter. “Yeah I know what hell is like, idiot.” Say what? “At least try to be creative.”

Does she think America is fake? “What, no it’s not hell at all! Sure, those damn immigrants and feminists keep trying to ruin it, but it’s the land of the free!” I wave around my tired arms as best I can without smacking my free ride upside the head. “I’m telling you, uh…” Wait hold on. “What was your name again?”

An ‘ah’ escapes the youkai’s lips before she answers me. “I’m Tsumigi. You?” Oh, is this uh, a good idea? Eh, what’s the worst that could happen?

I take a moment to remember my cover name, before pondering on whether that’s really necessary. “...the name’s Sc.” Yeah, honestly she could have killed me many times over by now–and she’s pretty nice–so it’s probably my turn to show a little trust to her. “Just call me Sean when we’re around strangers.” Can’t hurt to be a little safe afterall!

“Well, Sc, you will have to tell me about this American hell some other time.” I thought we weren’t done yet, though? “We’re here.” With the same care she picked me up with, Tsumugi swiftly turns me upright in her arms and plants me feet-first onto the grass. Aw, man; I was kind of enjoying the ride by the end there…

Now that I’m paying attention, it seems we’re in front of…an actual house? Weird, I was expecting something shittier not gonna lie. Not that the flimsy ass wooden shack in front of me is anywhere close to ‘good housing’, but I thought youkai didn’t know how to build. “Woah, you live here?” Maybe she stole it from some hobo living out in the woods or something?

“Yes, I built the place myself!” Nevermind then. “It’s not much, but I’m proud of it.” To be fair, it is kind of cool; like one of those old survival games I saw on youtube back in the day.

But that still doesn’t answer my biggest question. “I thought youkai lived in caves, though. Why are you out here in the sun?” Is there some kind of secret youkai village here? “Wait! Don’t tell me. Are there…others?” I carefully sweep my vision across the treeline, looking for any signs of hobo activity. Tsumugi is nice, but it could get ugly fast if I stay in enemy territory.

“Pfff!” The sound of muffled laughter throws me for a loop, which seems to make my companion all the more amused. “Where the hell did you get that idea? Do you know how hard it is to find good caves?” Oh yeah. Good point actually… “Only the really dangerous ones end up making those their home, so you’d better be careful!” Her expression gets a bit serious as she continues talking. “There isn’t a single uninhabited cave around here, and you really wouldn’t want to meet with the owners.” Yeah, I think I’m gonna stay the hell away from caves from now on.

“But enough of that, come on in!” With almost practiced precision, Tsumugi curls an arm around my shoulder and leads me inside–pushing aside the old rag of a curtain from the doorway with her other hand–and to be honest, it’s more or less what I expected from the outside. What catches my attention first has to be the–surprisingly solid looking–dirt floor, followed by what seem to be several little fabric hammocks suspended from hooks embedded into the right wall. “You’re awfully quiet. Were you expecting more?” Did I? I’m not really sure anymore.

Oh well. I’ll just answer honestly, I guess. “Kind of, yeah, but it’s pretty cool what you’ve done with the place.” My gaze wanders around the interior. “I like those bag things on the walls.”

Turning to the youkai, my compliment seems to have struck home–judging by the sudden wave of happiness surging across her expression. “Really? Thank you, Sc! I worked hard to make those, but I think the result was well worth it.” Oh, right…

“I forgot you were a spider youkai for a second.” I let out a nervous chuckle at the recollection of writhing limbs–and the sensation of claws tearing flesh. My finger automatically rises to lightly scratch what I can of the itchy scab stretching across my cheek. “Really should know better at this point…”

Huh, why does she look kind of pissed? “I’m not a filthy spider! I am a beautiful silk moth youkai!” Oh, that makes sense. Was the spider slander really necessary, though? “Didn’t you notice the patterns on my attire?”

Wait, what? “That was supposed to be a moth?” No fucking way that was a moth of all things! “I thought you were just a little freaky or something, not gonna lie.”

The woman retorts with a huff of annoyance. “I’ll have to educate you sometime, young man.” With that she heaves a sigh, as if remembering something. “Right, I still have to get food…” Oh yeah, she was saying something that when I was stalking her, wasn’t she? Wait, she left her basket behind too!

“Do you need help, ma’am?” It’s only right I offer; my hunt was the whole reason she lost her stuff to begin with. “I can help you carry some stuff, probably.” Giving my arm joints a quick flexibility test yields a bit of pain. That might turn out to be an issue.

My suggestion snaps her out of whatever she was brooding over, only to result in a scolding for my thoughtfulness. “What? Absolutely not! You’re very hurt Sc, and you need rest.” Wha- Why’s she acting like my mom? Not that I'm against it, but still. “I’ll return soon after foraging, then I can help you get back to the human village before demon hunting.” Demon hunting sounds kinda badass. “You could, uh… Look after my son in the meantime!” Did she just say son?

“Son? What son?” I must have heard her wrong. I didn’t see a ring or anything on her finger, and she didn’t say anything about a husband. “You didn’t mention having any kids!” Where could they be hiding? More importantly, am I going to get wrapped up in a cocoon or something?

Posture stiffening a bit, Tsumugi continues to smile warmly. “Ah, yes. I guess I…forgot about him?” How the fuck does someone just forget their kid? “He is quite self-sufficient, so I don’t usually have to worry too much about him!”

Well, I guess one child isn’t too bad. “Right, anything I should know about him?” If push comes to shove, I’m probably stronger in a fight–hopefully–so I shouldn’t have to worry too much about getting eaten.

“Well, he’s sleeping right there actually!” The lady directs my gaze to the–admittedly comfortable–looking bed, complete with one kid-sized youkai. Oh, how did I not notice him before? Must be the stress. “Let me wake him so he can meet you.”

Barely a moment later, the freshly awakened boy stares at me with a neutral expression as his mother introduces me. “This man is called Sc. He’ll be keeping an eye on you for a while, so don’t be shy about asking him for help or to play. Alright?” At the little guy’s subsequent nod she gives him a kiss on the forehead before rising back to her feet–and I notice that she’s pretty tall for a Japanese woman, coming up to about my shoulders. “Great! I’ll see you boys in a few hours, then. Be good!” And with that she takes off in a hurry, leaving me behind with the little brat.

An awkward silence fills the air as I try to think of how to deal with this kid–who just stares at me with mild curiosity. “So…” I try to build some rapport. “What’s your name, sport?” God, I sound old.

“I don’t have one.” The boy frankly replies, absentmindedly scratching his brownish bedhead. “Mom didn’t name me yet.” His hair actually looks kind of cool; a short mess of varying shades of light and dark brown, along with specks of white highlights in between.

“Oh, alright…” No name? What kind of parent forgets to name their own damn son?  “Well, what about your dad?” I really hope he didn’t somehow forget too. “Why didn’t he name you instead?”

A bit confused, the child merely states, “I don’t have a dad.” Good fucking grief. How shitty can someone’s childhood be, man? Poor kid is fatherless this young, too! “It’s always been me and mom.” Yeah, ouch.

I should probably move on from this topic; maybe- “what about your parents mister Sc?” The question catches me way off-guard, and can you blame me? That was way out of left field. “Do you have a mom and dad?”

“Wha- Of course I do!” Woah, gotta calm down; really don’t want Tsumugi pissed at me when I don’t even know the way out. One deep breath later, I quickly pick the conversation back up with a more sedate tone. “Yeah, I have a mom and dad. They were pretty nice. Average parents I guess.” I shrug, turning back to the little guy–who seems more interested now.

With a nod, the kid contemplates something for a moment before an idea seems to come to him. “Do you want to draw with me?” Huh, weird. Youkai draw too?

Masking my confusion, I instead ask the boy a simple question to test if he knows how to draw. “Wait, what are we going to use for the drawing?”

Without missing a beat I get a reply “Mom still has some charcoal for winter that I use.” Well shit, he does know how to draw. Suddenly he stiffens up halfway towards the weird cloth shelves, like when you remember something stupidly important at a bad time. “Don’t uh…tell her, please. She gets a bit upset when I use too much.” Ah, I feel that one.

“Don’t worry brother. Your secret is safe with me!” I put a hand on my chest, and give the child a toothy grin practically oozing with confidence. “I’ll have you know I’m something of an artist myself, too!” Man babysitting is fun; you can just say anything and the kids believe it.

“Really?” The brat snorts in amusement. “I’m quite good myself! Want to do a drawing competition with me, mister Sc?” Well, shit. Maybe they don’t just believe everything these days. It could be a youkai thing too, with enhanced senses and stuff; either way, I need to defend my honor!

It. Is. On! “Yeah, sure kid. Just don’t feel too bad when I win!” Tim to show this brat how a real artist goes about things…

Okay, when the fuck did drawing stuff get so hard? I finished my ugly ass depiction of Tewi pretty quick, but this kid’s been going at it for the past ten minutes like a maniac. I even had enough time to get my face treated and bandaged! Now it just hurts like a bitch instead of burning like lava on my face.

Thankfully, the boy finally seems to be all but done with his supposed masterpiece, blowing away the excess charcoal shavings before finally stopping, seemingly satisfied. “It’s done!” With that the boy quickly turns to me with a proud expression and hands me the image he made. It’s a drawing of me–judging by the bloody cut on the guy’s cheek–and I have to say, the details are pretty crazy! “Do you like it?”

Okay, I’m not even mad about losing this one. “Yeah, kid.” I sigh before handing it back to the child. “You destroyed me in drawing!” And I got some pretty cool looking art of myself for the trouble.

“Yay!” With a joyous cry he raises his arms high into the air, spinning in place while displaying his- did his clothes just twitch?

Wait, I never actually got what youkai the kid was either; this might be a good chance to check. Another jolt of the kid’s attire vindicates my suspicions and I finally ask him. “Hey, kid. Do you mind showing me your back?” He tilts his head with a puzzled expression, compelling me to clarify. “I need to see something on your back, so can you pull up your shirt or whatever?”

“Uh… Okay?” Good kid. With uncertain movements the boy pulls his garment up to his shoulders, giving me an eyeful of- Holy shit I called it! A pair of bird wings furl out, looking concerningly lifeless with the way the feathers ruffle.

“I knew I saw something moving in your clothes!” Though my money was on limbs like Tsumugi’s. The sight also leads to another question… “Wait, why do you have your wings hidden, anyway?” The youkai readjusts his kimono as I try to make sense of the logic behind the notion.

“Aren’t you supposed to wear clothes? Mine don’t have any holes for wings.” Oh that sucks.

But then wouldn’t that mean- “How the hell do you even fly kid?” Does he just go shirtless or something?

The child only gives me a bemused stare for a moment, before finally replying. “Why…would I need to fly exactly?” What the fuck? This kid can not be for real.

“Hello?” I put my hands on his shoulders. Tsumugi really needs  to take better care of her son. Actually, you know what? Screw it!

I need to save this brat before it’s too late! “Listen! You know what the issue is? You’re basically getting groomed–that’s right groomed! To become a little beta youkai!” I put an arm around his shoulders and begin gesticulating in front of him with the other one. “You’re getting brainwashed by-by the damn big shots here, who really just want to make you a-an obedient sheep, and you know why? It’s because they’re sc-scared of the alpha lion that’s sleeping inside you!” 

I back away from the kid to make sure he gets my point. “Like, think about it! This whole ‘hide your wings’ shit ain’t cool, you should like uh- uh fuck–try thinking about how to fly! How to hunt. That kinda shit, man!”

Stopping to catch my breath for a moment, I lower my rapidly flailing arms as my rant begins to wind down. “Anyways, the point is that you’re the freedom fighter here, man. You’re an eagle, the embodiment of the American spirit! The possibilities are endless! You’re meant to feel the wind through your hair, with no master but yourself. You’re the pilot of your own fate!” And so I end it off with a deep breath.

The bandages kind of hurt from changing my expressions so much, but the kid seems pretty hyped up now. “You’re right, mister Sc! I was meant to fly!” Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! “I just have one question…” Hm? “What’s America?” Oh, hold on. Did I not explain that already? Wait no, that was Tsumugi; damn it.

Well whatever, I should just condense the explanation. “Basically it’s a country of giant food, guns, cars and explosions. And the best part? Everyone is free!” Pretty much heaven on earth, if I do say so myself.

“Woah, is that really from the outside world?” I only flash the kid a confident grin, which seems to resolve any lingering doubts he might have had. “That’s awesome! You have to teach me all about it, mister Sc!”

Awesome, now let’s get this show started! Reaching out, I call for my crowbar and quickly grab the chain before it beans me in the nuts or something. “Turn around, dude.” I ask the boy, blade ready to cut. “I’m gonna free you.” Doing as he’s told, the back of the youkai’s kimono lies before me, and I slash a clean-ish cut across it, soon followed by a couple more as a sizeable hole forms in the backside of the garment. “Try flapping your wings, little man.”

The little feathery appendages twitch a few times before moving with all their might, kicking up a light gust of air. “I’m doing it mister Sc!”

“You sure are. Now come on!” I place my free hand on the bird’s shoulder and begin leading him to the door curtain. “We’re gonna make a real flier out of you!”

“Ugh!” The kid lands again with a thud after veering into a tree for like the tenth time. “I don’t get it!” Yeah, this might have been harder than I thought.

We need a strategy. “Kid, come here for a minute. I’ve got an idea, I think.” Alright let’s see. Flying, flying…birds? Nah we already tried that. Jets…jet streams…air…air currents! Wait, that’s it! “Okay, I got it! Listen up.” I level a steely glare at birdboy to make sure he’s listening, and after a few seconds begin my lecture on air. “So, basically… I’m going to tell you about some cool American technology. Jet planes are like giant metal tanks, but they can fly at the speed birds can dream of. They’re like metal bird dragons that drop bombs on people!” Wait, this is supposed to be about air currents!

Ahem. “So anyways, they use air currents to fly, I think. Birds do the same thing, except they don’t fight the air currents; they use them to get carried wherever they need to go. Try maybe going with the currents after you get off the ground, like catch them with your wings. Understand?" At the kid’s salute and cry of ‘Yes sir!’ I bark out the his next orders. “Go on then, soldier! Show the world that you’re your own master!”

And so begins attempt number… I want to say fourteen? Ah whatever, the kid’s taken off pretty well, and he seems to be actually flying without suddenly changing direction and colliding with something at the speed of sound. “I think I got it!” Yes you do! “I’m gonna try something!" With that the youkai tries for a dive, and manages a successful–if clumsy–swoop and recovers back into gliding through the air, with the occasional flap to keep him aloft.

“Congratulations!” I yell to the young soldier. “Now let the world know!”

The boy inhales for a second before shouting “I’m free!” At the top of his damn lungs.

“Yes you are!” This is awesome! At this rate-

Our moment of triumph gets interrupted by another figure diving through the sky, touching down on the ground between us. “What the hell is going on here?” Wait, that voice!

Tsumugi unfurls her insectoid wings and quickly flaps them a few times before hugging the pair to her body–and vanishing the pretty things into nothing soon after. “Why are you two screaming so loudly? I thought you were demons for a bit!” Oh, right. This is supposed to be a quiet neighborhood.

“Oh, uh. Sorry about that, ma’am. But look!” I point to her son, who’s still too lost in his flight to care about whatever is doing down here. “Your son’s become a man!”

It takes a moment, but the lady suddenly gasps at the revelation before her. “Wait, you're right Sc! He really is!” Of course I’m right! Some things never change, huh?

Well whatever, moving on. “Speaking of flying, why didn’t you teach him sooner?” Seems pretty irresponsible, but she probably has her reasons I guess.

“Well, I thought he would learn on his own.” What? “I might have forgot he needed someone to teach him first…” Yeah no shit! You can’t just fly a plane right out of the womb, can you?

This conversation makes me hesitant to ask, but I really should at this point. “Yeah, totally get that. And uh, what about his name?” She just stares in response–completely expressionless mind you–and it starts to creep me out a little, so after about half a minute or so of silence, I decide to bail on any more parenting questions. “...nevermind. Did you finish hunting or whatever?”

Lightly tilting her head, the youkai responds with “What? Not at all. I usually keep it up until after dusk or so.” Wait, then when the hell is she taking me home?

Actually, the sky’s already turning into a whole gradient; must have lost track of time… “It’s already dusk, Tsumugi. I need to get home soon, remember?” The woman’s eyes widen once more- is she seriously this fucking forgetful? “Alright, hold on. I need to do a few things before we go.” Alright, deep breaths Sc. It’s not that deep. “First, is it okay if I name your son?” Please don't be mad, please don’t be mad, please don’t be mad…

“Oh? Of course, I don’t mind.” Wait, really? “As long as he’s happy with it I’m happy with it too!” Okay sweet. “Anything else?”

Probably should get the reason I’m here out of the way too. “Could you and your son give me some of your hair? I need it to prove I hunted youkai to the village.” Shouldn’t be too big an ask I guess.

One of her youkai limbs makes itself known as she pulls a few clumps off them with a wince. “Here, this should be enough. You should ask my son yourself for the hair, however. I can’t make him give you any.” Whatever, the kid loves me!

“Hey, kid!” I shout to the airborne youkai. “You want a name to commemorate you learning to fly?” That should- thump. In his enthusiasm the kid manages a rougher landing than he probably intended, and tumbles over a few inches towards me before getting back up.

“Alright, I just need a token from you. Like your hair or a feather or something.” Tsumugi was onto something with the youkai part idea.

Without hesitation the youkai brings one of his wings close and plucks out a big ass feather from it before handing it to me. “There you go, mister Sc! Now give me a name!” 

Alright let’s see…John is probably a good first name. I would’ve done Joe, but that Vietnamese loser has ruined the name for me. Now what would a good last name be? John Gensokyo? John America? Actually screw it, Crowley sounds as good as any.

“Alright.” I clap my hands together before clearing my throat. “Birdboy. In commemoration of you learning to fly like a true eagle, I bestow the name John Crowley upon you. It means ‘graced by God’, because you have been blessed with the awesome power of flight!” With a bow, I pat John on the back. “Congratulations.”

Dude seems pretty happy about it too. “Thanks mister Sc! Now we both have the same last name!” Good for him.

The sound of Tsumugi clearing her throat catches me by surprise–and I nearly jump out of my skin. “That was lovely Sc, but John isn’t an eagle.” Wait, what? “He’s a woodpecker!” Okay, no. This is bullshit! He was the chosen one, man! “But the name is very nice. He seems to like it a lot.”

“Yeah. Good for him.” How did I not notice? Am I just stupid or something? “Can you take me back to the village now? I still need to turn in these samples.” Anything to get away from the embarrassment.

With a nod the youkai woman grabs ahold of me by the waist, hoisting me up as she prepares to take off. “Hold on, and don’t open your eyes too much.” She warns. “It’s a bit disorienting the first time.” Oh boy, just my luck…

Chapter Text

The sky’s pretty today; dozens of wispy, thin clouds dot the vast beyond–doing little to block the light of the sun bearing down on us from on high. Good thing too; winter’s still a few months away if the crops are any indication, but it’s already getting pretty damn cold these days. I wonder if they have jackets or coats or something for sale here, though it might be a pain to afford. Maybe I should get a side-hustle too?

Absent-mindedly my fingers alternate between fidgeting with my camo-jacket and each other. What would a good job be, to be honest? Joaquin probably has an idea, but he’s kind of boring; no doubt he’s gonna have me working retail or something. Man, I really love this army-print design. I should try to see if a tailor can replicate it or something, then Nomura can finally shut up about my fit.

Anyway, who does that leave? Nomura’s a fucking bum, not sure how. I thought he’d at least figure out some kind of money-making idea with that crazy power of his, but I guess I shouldn’t expect much from him at this point. S.C… Maybe that youkai hunting idea has some merit after all, if he’s still alive and kicking after going out to the forest nearly every day. Well whatever, I might as well ask.

Bringing my head out of the metaphorical clouds, I turn back to our group in time to catch the tail end of a rant. “-and then Tsumugi just stole my kill like a bitch! ‘It was a demon’ she said, but I call bullshit. I could’ve taken that thing in a fight!” What the hell is this dumbass on about now? I try to catch Nomura’s gaze for some sort of context, but the man (boy?) seems just about as invested as me. Relatively more interesting is the hole he’s currency digging–using his knife like a shovel (what were those gardening things called again?) to fling around specks of packed dirt.

Actually, is that even sanitary? Probably not. I should remember to get my own knife or something; this retard is going to get us all killed from a rare parasite or something otherwise. And- wait, fuck. I was supposed to ask S.C about hunting! (But do I really have to…?)

“Hey S.C.” I cut the man off mid-sentence, and ignore the ensuing stink-eye he levels my way.

“What? I’m not done with my story, man.” Oh right, he was going on about yesterday’s trip right?

Wait. That’s perfect. “Uh… Yeah, I wanted to ask you something about that.” I should probably at least try to engage with him before asking my own questions. What was that name he mentioned again? It started with ‘Tsu’ right? “Can you tell me who Tsurumi is?” Yeah, I think that was it.

The pure blooded American, however, makes a pissed off expression. “It’s Tsumugi, asshole. Weren’t you listening?” No. No, I wasn’t, man. “Whatever. She’s this mommy moth youkai I met a few days ago.” A fucking what youkai? “And she’s actually a mom. I named her son John, after we taught him to fly.”

“Woah. Woah!” What kind of fever dream bullshit is this? “Slow down, man. First off, why are you running around with youkai?” I thought they were the enemy? Though I guess I could be wrong. Who knows?

S.C suddenly stiffens up. Guess he didn’t think this far, huh? (Then again, does he ever think?) “Look- Look guys!” The man’s sudden outburst startles Nomura, sending his knife flying before it clatters against a house wall. “She’s one of the good ones, like- trust me here! I know this sounds bad, but she kills youkai too!”

Well, I guess that changes things. “What do you think, Nomura?” Nevermind, I should wait for him to get his knife back first… Alright, there. Finally! “Nomura.” I try to snap my fingers–unsuccessfully–to catch the guy’s attention. “What do you think about S.C’s meeting with this youkai mommy?” Seems a bit suspicious of her to just let him live.

“H-Huh? Why are we talking about youkai mommies? What even is a youkai mommy?” Holy shit, was he genuinely not listening? “Wait, S.C met a youkai?” God, he’s slow. And he thought I was autistic; well I am, but still.

Taking a deep breath, I do my best to summarize the important bits from our conversation. “So, basically S.C knows a youkai mom or whatever in the woods. He says she's one of the ‘good ones’ or something, because she kills youkai too. What do you think?”

He fidgets with his hands again. Really weird; I could have sworn he did that more often. “Well, I think that’s uh… Cool of him?”

“Someone gets it, man.” S.C pipes right after.

What? “No, dumbass. Do you think she’s trustworthy or not?” Did his family feed him lead or something?

“Oh! Yeah, I think it’s a good idea!” Huh, that was quick. “She’s a mom right? So there’s probably maternal patience in her, which is probably good for us. My mom was like that a lot when I was a teenager-”

“Hold the phone, man. What do you mean you were a teenager?” Yeah, S.C, what the fuck?

“What I never told you guys?” No, you fucking didn’t! I rapidly shake my head to send him the damn message to continue. “Huh, well, I’m twenty one.” What?

S.C jerks up suddenly and shouts. “Twenty one? Are you fucking with us, man?” How the hell is that even possible? The dude looks fifteen or something (let alone the way he acts), there’s no way!

Wait a minute- “What’s nine plus ten, Nomura?” God, I can’t believe I get to make that reference here of all places! The dopamine from that sentence alone is more than worth the death stare Nomura’s giving me.

“Joe. Kill yourself.” Yeah, okay. I probably deserve that, but whatever; it was funny, man! “Anyways, can we get back to the topic?” Oh yeah, right.

Fuck, what was it again? Eh, I’ll just ask. “Right. What was the conversation about again?” Nomura lets out a frustrated sigh, while S.C just lets out a bark of laughter. What’s their deal?

“We were talking about Tsumugi, idiot.” (God, it’s been too many days since I’ve bashed his skull in) “Keep up.” The barbarian summons his emo crowbar thing-a-majig from god-knows where before he starts to play around with the chain.

With everyone finally on the same page, Nomura takes the floor to continue his train of thought. “Okay, like I was saying. So she’s a mom right?” Yeah. I nod. “Meaning she has some maternal instincts for kids and stuff, even if they aren’t hers.” Makes sense, I guess? I nod again. “So, she’s probably a hag, and she’s going to see S.C like her grandson or something! Meaning she’s going to be very protective of him when he’s in the forest.” I think I was onto something with the lead thing; this guy’s the most toddler-brained twenty one year old I’ve ever seen. “So yeah, I think she’s trustworthy!’ Is the smile really necessary after that speech?

“So…You’re saying she’d basically adopt me or something if I could convince her?” S.C–of course–somehow manages to draw the worst possible conclusion from the dumpster fire of an idea pitch. “Sweet. Sounds like it could work out, with some time…” Yeah, I don’t want to know. We should probably move on before he gives me ideas too.

Loudly clearing my throat, I quickly start talking before the other two can finish processing my actions. “Okay, anyway. S.C, how does your youkai hunting thing happen?” He opens his- No, hold on. “I mean how you get paid.” I clarify, just in case. You never know with this guy.

“Oh, I was thinking of something else.” (I knew it!) “Well, it’s just as simple as I give them a body part from the youkai. Then they give me some cash.” I should probably ask about that next. “The pay is pretty crazy too! Used to be five thousand something, but the rates apparently dropped to three thousand recently.” That’s almost half the pay gone! “Probably economics, I guess?” Medieval economics must have been crazy, man.

Still, at least it's something. I should try to pay off my loan as soon as possible; actually, wait! I should get my weapons back from Kogasa while I’m at it. “So like, what do I need?” I inquire with my youkai hunting senior. “Heads?” Those would be hell to carry if I killed more than one per trip.

S.C pats me on the back (gently too!) and loosely wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Relax…” His toothy grin does nothing to save me from the smell of unbrushed teeth. God, does he just wake up without rinsing his mouth? “Just get something eye-catching. Like uh… ears, or hair, or something. Basically anything that screams ‘youkai’.” Oh, huh. That’s some pretty chill criteria, not going to lie.

That settles that, then. “Alright, then. I’m going to go.” With that, I rise to my feet and begin my trek to the- wait, fuck. I forgot to tell them where I was going. “Right. I’m uh…going to go hunting.” Turning my head back to the other two nets me a couple of relaxed–if bored–expressions.

“We know.” Nomura chimes in, before going back to digging holes in the ground. (What the fuck is wrong with him, genuinely?) S.C doesn’t even fucking respond.

Uh. “Okay. Cool, then.” Now what? Screw it, let’s just go. “Bye.” To Kogasa’s; double time. I do still take the time to raise my hand in acknowledgement of my friends’ farewells as I continue rushing to the youkai blacksmith.

“So… How much was this again?” I don’t think I asked her for the price last time, did I? Eh, who cares; it can’t be that bad.

With an ‘Oh!’ Kogasa lifts up a finger telling me to wait before diving underneath the counter, no doubt looking for something. A moment later, the girl emerges again–this time with a notebook in tow–before quickly thumbing through the pages. “Aha!” She stops and points at one of the names written. “You’re mister Joe, right?” I give a nonchalant nod before realizing she isn’t even looking at me.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Man, I’m acting pretty off today; still can’t believe Nomura is twenty one. I really pegged him as a sixteen-something, or younger. Well, at least I know I won’t be that bad when-

“Your order fee is seventy eight thousand and four hundred yen, sir!” Wait, what the fuck? Seventy thousand? When did this shit get so expensive? “Would you like to pay up-front or in installments?” Is that even a question?

Good god. Kosaga is an actual scammer, dude. Next thing I know, she’ll tell me to get my weapon refurbished for an extra thirty thousand or something. “Installments. I’ll, uh, pay you back like…” Hmm, if I can get like three to four youkai daily, I should be able to pay this off about- “Next week. Promise.” Yeah, if it’s that much of a pain, I could just ask S.C’s help for hunting.

“Perfect, let me just…” Hastily, the umbrella girl jots down something else on the notebook with her- actually, wait. Is that charcoal? “There! Now, how do you like it?” What?

Oh, right. My weapon; what should I call this thing? The shovel I’m holding in my hands seems to mostly be a modified version of the army shovel I had before–a bit more pointed (and way sharper) at the head than the flat edge it had before. The real kicker, though, has to be what she did to my gun; it’s half fused to the side of the handle, so that I can reach it to shoot stuff pretty easily without it getting in the way of swinging. “Yeah, it’s pretty good.”  Not a bad design, if I do say so myself…

“That’s not all!” There’s more? My eyes dart back to Kogasa, who looks pretty excited herself. “I added a small coating of special metal to your shovel. Now it should be able to cut through youkai with ease!” Damn, she knows her stuff. I can probably get the debt money in no time with this thing!

Well, I should get to the village gate now. No use in loitering around. “Yeah, thanks.” I give a small bow to the youkai in question. “I’ll see you soon then.”

Kogasa–to her credit, knows how to treat a customer really well–sending me off with a beaming look. “Stay safe, mister Joe! I’ll see you next week.” I reciprocate her wave with a little one of my own before turning my gaze to the road. Probably a good idea to think of a strategy or two for any fights right now.

Let’s see; I’m not the most physically fit right now, so I’ll probably have to ambush whatever I want to kill. Kogasa said she used some anti-youkai metal or whatever, so I guess I can probably behead something in a few blows. Wonder if that would unlock my secret power or something.

Actually- man! Wouldn’t it be kind of cool if my power was some kind of system? Not something overpowered like Arah’s, that would be boring as shit, but like something more balanced; maybe a Fallout themed one, with guns! It would rock if it could play some music too, because who doesn’t love listening to a fire song while mowing down youkai?

If I want to go full military, though, I should probably get an ammo belt and a helmet or something too; those big guns are pretty hard to carry, and easy ammo access is very important in combat. Speaking of which, couldn’t I probably get away with a skill system or something? Minor stuff like uh… Being able to purify the air from poisons and stuff; or getting a boost to hearing and sight; or even something like the bloody mess from Fallout! Imagine if it applied to bullets too, that’d be kind of funny–though maybe a bit annoying sometimes. Like fighting a dragon, and it just starts exploding into a rain of blood and stuff.

Or maybe something more lowkey would be better, like having an achievement system that unlocks new guns, like the ones from Postal 2 maybe? Could even have the blunt from that one mod as a power up, so I can be like Sakuya with real bullets. Actually, I could probably take her on, right? She would get slowed down too, so I guess it could work… 

Speaking of which, I could probably help someone develop modern guns! I think I remember the blueprints and stuff, so it’s just a matter of finding someone to make the parts; maybe Kogasa? She seems pretty crazy at making stuff. A 20/80 profit split seems fair, I guess–considering I’m the one who went through all those files to learn this shit. We could even make a gun store or something; call it ‘Forbidden Lead’ or-

“Halt!” Woah! That nearly gave me a heart attack, man! I zone in and look at the guard who nearly made me piss myself (don’t these assholes have better things to do?), and he levels a stern glare at me in turn. “Where are you going?”

Is that even a question? “Outside. I’m going.” These guys are actual morons. Nomura might have gotten some kind of brain eating amoeba or something from the water these people drink. “Youkai hunting, you know?”

“Really?” The dude’s squadmate looks me up and down with disdain. “You’re going to get killed out there, kid.” Huh?

S.C didn’t say shit about this part of the job! “What do you mean? My friend does it all the time, and he’s fine.”

The old man I first talked to lets out a deep sigh, before puffing up to his full height as he redoubles the intensity of his stare. What did I do, man? “This isn’t a game. You need to be physically fit, and ready to swing a sword to fight youkai. You’ll need someone who can at least protect you before I let you go.”

This dude knows this stuff. “Yeah, makes sense.” And so I meekly turn tail and flee the scary ass gatekeeper with as much dignity as I can. What the hell was that guy’s problem? Though, I guess he is looking out for me. “Damn it.” Where do I even get someone to help me with this? I guess I could ask S.C, but he’s annoying as hell to be around. But it’s not like I have any other choices…

Well, whatever. Money is more important than comfort; and I need a whole lot of it. I can deal with S.C for a week, right? Then those guys can see I’m not that bad at hunting. Maybe I’ll be able to do solo gigs then. I really hope Sean didn’t already leave to do something, or the whole day is wasted!

With a sigh, I try to calm my erratic thoughts (keyword being try) and focus on my path instead. My head still keeps buzzing with anxiety, however. What if I can’t get the money by next week? Is Kogasa going to break my knees, or something? Nah, she’s too cute for that; but it’s the cute ones who are freaky, aren’t they? Occupied by wondering whether Kogasa is some sort of mafia boss, I don’t notice the person I’m passing in time to avoid collision.

“Ow! What the hell, you…” Yeah, sure, keep whining. You’re not the one who landed on your ass, buddy! “Wait a second, aren’t you the guy from a few days ago?” Huh? I look up from my seat on the dirt to come face-to-face with none other than Kosak himself. “Hello? You good?”

Oh, right. I should say something. “Yeah. I remember you. Kosak, right?” I stretch out my hand in greeting, and the tall man wastes no time in shaking it vigorously.

“Yup! I’m Kosak. What was your name, though? I don’t think you ever said it.” That does sound like something I’d do, doesn’t it?

I should probably introduce myself, then. “I’m Joe. Nice to meet you.” There; knew I could do it!

My fellow outsider reaches out–swift as the wind–and snares my free hand in a vigorous handshake. “Well, nice to meet you, Joe!” The greeting goes on for a second or two, before he finally lets my poor hand go. I shake it a few times to try and get rid of the feeling of static pulsing through it. “So, why are you wandering around by yourself?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just uh-” Is it a smart idea to tell him about my plans? “Y’know, stuff!” Eh, I should probably tell him. “Like, youkai stuff.”

That seems to catch his interest. “Youkai, you say? What kind of youkai?” Should I- actually, fuck it; S.C’s man enough to deal with any complications or whatever. I’m tired of being all emo and secretive. “Is she cute?” What?

Now that’s a shock; how’d he know so quick? “Well, S.C said she was pretty hot, but I haven’t seen her personally.” Better be careful around this guy. “But that’s not my main reason for going. I’m going to hunt youkai for money.”

“Woah, that’s cool.” I…guess it is? Kind of cool, at least. “Can I join?” Man, how do I turn him down? I don’t really- Wait, right! Just as I open my mouth to give him some half-assed excuse, I remember the words of the intimidating guardsman.

‘This isn’t a game, you need someone to protect you…’ (I think that’s what he said?)

“Yeah, totally!” This is a fucking miracle, man! Barely ten minutes from my first roadblock, and I’ve already got a partner in crime. “I’m going right now, actually. You wanna come?”

Kosak ‘hmm’s for a few seconds, deep in thought. “I guess that makes sense, doesn’t it?” Don’t look at me, man. This is my first job ever. “You’re a good man, Joe.” The man suddenly claps his hand across my back. (Ow! Why does he have to be so S.C-like?) “I respect your grind. Let’s go.” Oh, huh.

Well, that was way easier than I thought. This guy might not be that bad after all. “Okay, come on.” I turn my body back around and begin marching for the gate again–shovel slung over my shoulder (kind of feel like a total badass, not going to lie). “We’re going to show those guards a thing or two.”

“Why? They do something to you?” Oh, right! I didn’t tell him about our beef.

Clearing my throat, I try to stay calm when recounting the start of it all. “Well, I actually tried to hunt earlier today, but those assholes at the gate stopped me.” Deep breaths; that guy won’t try anything with Kosak there. “Said I needed protection and started scolding me like he was my dad, or something.” Man, my dad…

I guess my face looked kind of gloomy, because Kosak seems to take it upon himself to redirect (read; derail) the conversation. “Anyway, enough about that boring shit. Who’s your favorite youkai?” Huh? What kind of question is that? “You’re an outsider, dude. I figured you know some Touhou waifus.” My confusion was that apparent, huh? I should really get a better poker face.

“Well…” It’s probably better to answer his question; I don’t want to make things awkward with the most tolerable outsider I’ve met so far. “You could say, my favourites are…Yuuka, and Mima.” Gah, it’s so embarrassing to say out loud! I can practically feel my face heating up–a sentiment only reinforced by the chuckle Kosak emits in response.

“Nice, nice. You do seem like the guy to be into dommy mommies.” Excuse me? The fuck is that supposed to mean, jackass? “I have a more different set of waifus.”

Oh, this should be very normal. “Let’s hear it then.” Please don’t be too much of a weirdo, man; I kind of like you.

Clearing his throat, Kosak takes his sweet, sweet time to begin. “I like Reisen dude. She’s a cute bunny.” Okay, not that bad. “Next is probably Cirno and-” (Nevermind.) “Clownpiece. They’re silly fairies, and I like their designs.” It's… not the worst thing I’ve heard about those two. At least he’s not a complete degenerate–thankfully.

“That’s cool.” Pun not intended. “Cirno’s pretty funny, yeah. Reisen is cool too! I like her gun and, uh, bullets.” Yeah, that’s about all I got. How does one have this many waifus, man?

“Yeah… I know, right?” The man flashes me a sly grin. “But cat girls have to be the best thing ever. I love Chen and Orin!” Oh no, he’s like S.C after all… And just when I thought I found someone who wasn’t a degenerate.

Kosak, to his credit, is still going without so much as a hint of shame. “I do have other waifus, though. Like Holo from… I don’t know where she’s from, actually. But she’s hot, trust me!” Okay…? Man, I’m faithful to Yuuka; your stupid anime women can’t tempt me. “And Tanya, from the evil saga anime.” Wait, wasn’t she- Okay, let’s never talk about anything woman-related with this guy again. I’m definitely going to need a therapist for this conversation alone.

“Yeah, cool.” I lower my gaze down to the grass crunching underfoot as we… Wait, grass? “Hey, Kosak?” I call out to my companion.

“Yeah?” Wait, we’re pretty damn far from the village!

How even? “When did we get so far away from the village?” I barely even noticed just now.

“Oh, we passed it a bit ago.” Man, really? “Remember when I was telling you about Reisen, and stuff?” Oh… Oh, that was a while ago. Why didn’t the guard guy say anything this time? Was it because I brought Kosak? I guess so, at least.

Come to think of it, we’re past the fields too! A quick swivel of my head confirms the very stream from our first night approaching steadily; the bridge too. I don’t know if that’s really a smart idea, given the number of youkai living in the Forest of Magic right across the river, but what do I know? They’ve probably got Reimu’s protection to thank, or something.

Not sure how legit she actually is; couldn’t even send us back home, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people become experts (relatively speaking) when it’s time to beat the shit out of someone. I mean, Joaquin literally decimated that eagle last week, and he’s the fattest out of all of us.

Taking the lead this time, I cross over to the other side–quickly followed by Kosak–and take a moment to feel the atmosphere. The forest looms above us, composed of a few different types of trees I don’t know the name of, and dark enough to make me think twice about this job. I would have probably pussied out by now, if I’m being honest; this shit reminds me of Slenderman way too much. If only Kosak wasn’t here, man.

“So… What’s taking so long?” This motherfucker… “Come on, Joe! You’re not chickening out of cash and a few numbers, are you?” Where the hell did that even come from? Last I checked, gensokyo doesn’t even have a telephone service.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” At any rate, we do need to go in. I should hopefully be alright, considering Kosak looks pretty fit; S.C’s taken out a fair few youkai solo too (I think so at least) so we should be pretty safe in numbers, right?

Fuck it; let’s do this. I take a step into the greenery, and when nothing tries to turn me into a bloody mashed potato, my other foot follows suit. Within the minute, both of us begin our entry into the forest at a leisurely pace. The tree canopy tempers the bright rays of sunlight, and–aside from the dim lighting–the place is surprisingly chilly; winter’s really not far off, is it?

I never really noticed how many bugs and stuff are in places like this, not going to lie; lines of ants along the forest floor, disgusting-looking larvae things on some of the trees (I really don’t want to get bug goo on my outfit) and some annoying ass mosquitoes buzzing around–mostly near Kosak–who to his credit seems pretty fine with the bloodsuckers.

All in all, it’s kind of peaceful… I can see why S.C likes coming out here. “Man, it’s really nice out here!” You get it, man. “Makes you really excited to be alive, right?” He glances over to me, grinning.

With a smile of my own, I nod in approval. “Yeah. I’m feeling pretty good right now.” Really glad Kosak gave me that push. “Thanks for coming with.”

“No problem, dude!” My partner says with a hearty chuckle. “Just help me score some cute youkai girl’s number, or whatever else they use here!” Oh, right. That.

Honestly? Why not, it could be fun. “You’ve got it, bro. I got your back.” All the response I get from Kosak is a ‘Hell yeah!’ Followed by a raised fist–which I promptly bump with my own–before we both let the moment fade into a companionable silence. This is pretty nice; is this what they call ‘male bonding’?

Well, I’ve never really had any friends before, so this is a welcome change. Part of me wishes this moment could last forever- “Joe! Look!” The feeling of Kosak suddenly blowing hot air into my ear nearly makes me jump, and I nearly whack him upside the head with my shiny new shovel before his next words register. “Look, youkai!”

What? Glancing at his pointing finger for a moment, I quickly twist around to check and- Holy shit, is that a cat-girl? “Joe, we might have hit the jackpot!” I’ll say! She looks pretty damn cute, even from here. Fluffy ginger ears adorn a similarly colored head (kind of ginger, but with some more white patches blended in) of thick short hair, and the girl’s got on a frayed-looking over her attire, spotting me from spotting any other eye-catching features. “I’m going to go talk to her.” Looking back at my comrade shows his expression creased into one of a soldier’s. “Wish me luck.”

“Wait.” I grab the man’s shoulder before he can do something stupid. “I’m not letting you go alone. She could be dangerous.” Besides, I kind of need his ass alive to not get murdered on my way back.

Surprisingly, Kosak seems to be fine with this. “I see you, sly guy.” Huh? “I already called dibs, but if you want, you could be my wingman!” Oh, I get it. I could try it, I guess? Not like I was destined to be with someone, but it can’t hurt to try my luck.

“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Let’s see where this goes. The two of us sneak towards the cat lady, trying to avoid making any sudden noise to keep our faces from being torn off. About a good few meters from the girl, the both of us stop, and Kosak cups his hands around his mouth.

“Hello there! Don’t be scared, we come in peace!” The youkai snaps to attention and looks our way–ears swaying back and forth–before she starts walking towards us. “Yeah, that’s right. Take it easy now…” Kosak mimics the movement, and the two stop a ways away from each other. 

“So, what’s your name?” The only response the silent girl gives is a gentle sway of her body–tail and all–as her ears lie flat against her head. “Oh shit.” (What now?) “Airplane-” Before he can finish the rest of his sentence, the cat-girl straight up leaps at the man, and before I know it he drops from to the ground.

Shit- she’s feral! I whip out my shovel in front of me, but before I can get my fingers around the trigger, the youkai performs the same maneuver towards me–and the both of us go toppling to the ground. One look at her face shows a row of razor teeth. My left hand lands a vice grip on her fanged jaw before she can do to me what she did to Kosak, but the bitch starts to struggle like an animal and slams me hard into the ground.

Another try at aiming my shot gets interrupted when she takes a swipe at me, which the shovel thankfully blocks–but my grip isn’t strong enough to keep a hold of it. God damn it, this isn’t good. I need to- Crunch. 

A howl of agony leaves my throat, because the girl just bit my fucking hand! She doesn’t let go, no matter how much I shake; it hurts. My other hand fumbles–can’t find the trigger because I don’t have the gun. I hear something crack–followed by more pain. Shit, this bad; I don’t want to die.

Please–Bang- Bang- Bang- Bang- Bang- My ears ring; I feel the recoil of the cold iron in my hands kick back; the blurry figure of the cat jumps back.

Darkness encroaches on me–my head loses all weight; my blood drums in my mind. Fuck.

My left hand reaches for more ammunition–I don’t feel all my fingers reach for it.

I smash my bullets into the magazine hole shakily–as if I could put them in without pulling it out.

Come on. My trembling hands point forwards, warm droplets falling upon my chest.

I pull back the slide with less force than I wish I had, and pull the trigger.

The strange crack of the bullets reaches my ears.

As the shadows take me, all I see is a bright red flower before me.

…Ugh, where am I? Why does everything hurt? The last thing I remember was Kosak… Wait, shit! Kosak! My body only manages to get up halfway–before slamming into the ground again; it hurts. Alright, let’s take it slowly. I roll over to my stomach, and try to prop myself up, much to the chagrin of my hands; at least I’m able to sit up. As I rub out the bleariness from my eyes, I try to get a peek at where exactly I ended up getting wasted at-

I notice my hand; it’s missing a couple of fingers. The blood seems pretty fresh, too. How the fuck did I not notice this? The pain isn’t really too bad, but touching the stumps sends jolts of pain through my arm. Son of a bitch; it’s real, alright. What did I even do to deserve this shit, man? I hope Kosak is doing a bit better than me; speaking of, where is he again? I swivel my head around to-

What the fuck? Is that him? No, no, no; this can’t be real. Look away, Joe. Deep breaths, it’s going to be- Holy shit, what the hell is that? What happened to her face- It looks like bloody popcorn! God, the smell, too; it’s everywhere. So much blood, that can’t be normal! I can feel my guts churning; why can’t I look away? Oh god, no, my throat burns. Please not now…

My body forces itself to bend; I can’t stop it. Everything feels fuzzy, and I can’t breathe.

When it finally stops, I can only hold myself to not fall over. A rancid smell hits my nostrils; something wet and warm covers my front. Man, I need to check on Kosak, he could be hurt! Enough with this pussy shit.

My legs are still shaky, but they hold as I force myself to my feet. Let’s get this over with; We’re both sitting ducks out here. Come on, just a bit further… Blood squelches under my feet when I reach his–hopefully–unconscious body. I try to check his pulse, but the cold wetness around him already tells me what I’ll find. He’s fucking dead because of me. I should at least give him a proper burial; he deserves that much at least…

It doesn’t take long to find my shovel; it’s near where I passed out. Moving over, my hand tightens around the handle; it feels slippery. I try to force its head into the hard forest floor, but all I manage to do is fruitlessly scrape the dirt. God damn it! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do anything right? I was the one with the fucking weapon, and I still let that idiot go in front!

Warmth trickles down my face. Why wasn’t I ready? Nomura and I nearly got fucking killed last week! I should have known; why didn’t I remember? Stupid idiot, of course this was going to happen. You had to be a dumbass and listen to S.C; you had to be a dumbass and listen to Kosak; you just had to do shit without even thinking! Now what can I fucking do? I’m all alone, and completely fucking defenseless-

Wait. How many bullets did I fire again? Shit, this might be it! I wipe my miserable face with my sleeve; it doesn’t do much to help.

My left fumbles with the gun–careful not to worsen my torment–for a moment before opening the thing. There’s…still bullets in the magazine. Where the fuck did I get these? I swear I mag-dumped that bitch. Are these even real?

Well, one way to find out; my finger curls around the trigger and pulls. Crack. Holy- No way. It works! Sliding out the magazine, I take another look at the weird bullets before pulling one out. It feels rougher than I expect; surprisingly…rocky? Yeah, what the hell? Are these just fucking rocks?

I guess it couldn’t hurt to try. I’m already pretty fucked as is; busting up my gun isn’t going to matter at this point. Casting my gaze towards the ground, away from the gore, I catch sight of a couple pebbles. In they go, and another pull of the trigger echoes the sound of another deafening crack through the woods. Fuck, I need some ear protection. But more importantly, how is this even working? Where’s the gunpowder coming from?

Man, this is making my head hurt. Is this the same kind of fuckass power that the other guys got? Whatever; I can figure out this shit later. I need to find a way out before something else in here finds me. Probably should be fine for a bit–those gunshots should’ve scared any animals away–but they’re gonna come for the bodies sooner or later. I think I’ve got everything important on me still, so- wait, shit. The bounty! I still need proof of an encounter, or those assholes might not even give me my money.

I look back at the youkai. Its ears should probably do. Come on, I can do this; just need to man up. I get down on my knees–shovel at the ready. My hand carefully grabs one of the thing’s fluffy ears, and I start sawing away.

It’s messy work; my insides won’t sit still. Trying to ignore the bugs is useless too, they’re fucking everywhere, and the smell- God the smell. I can’t fucking take it anymore!

More of my lunch leaves me, and the smell worsens. I’m not getting anywhere like this. The ear looks halfway cut; it should come off easy. Trying to ignore the chunky bile between my fingers, I switch hands and put my foot against her skull. One…good…pull! The ear comes loose, and I land on my ass with a thud from the excess force. Ouch.

Alright. I’ve got my bounty, and my only protection is dead; how the fuck am I making it out of here?

Finally, I can see the village gates approaching. My body aches all over, and I’m pretty sure I burned through my sense of smell by now; is a shower even going to do shit at this point? Who knows. Let’s just hope they let me in first. As I shamble closer, I see one of the sentries point at me before they go into high alert. (I must be pretty fucked up, huh?) Getting into conversation range–I simply hold out the palm of my hand. “Fucking take it already, man.” None of them moves an inch.

“Are… Are you okay?” The left one speaks up. “You don’t look good.” No shit, jackass. What gave it away? “Sorry…” The asshat takes the hint after I give him the stinkeye.

“I took another guy with me, but we got jumped.” Fuck, I really should have seen that coming. “The youkai killed him, but I managed to shoot her down.” I should probably do a memorial or something after fixing myself up.

The guard’s eyes narrow as his expression changes to incredulity. “What? How did you shoot it down after it spotted you?” My fucking God, this prick. “Even a veteran archer would have trouble doing that in a forest, and you don’t look all that experienced, do you?” You know what? Fine! Fuck you!

“Here’s your fucking proof!” I roar, before aiming my shovel skywards and mag-dumping the bitch. Several painfully loud cracks fill the air, and the tinnitus makes me realize after a few seconds that I’ve ran out of bullets. A few tiny fragments of rock pelt my body; namely my hair. That’s going to be fun to clean out.

Looking back to the guards, I think I might have scared the shit out of them; both of them are cowering on the floor–weapons forgotten. (Serves them right.) Well, now I just have to wait for the ringing to pass, and hopefully I won’t be completely deaf.

A minute or two passes before I can actually hear shit again, and the sentinels themselves start picking themselves up from the floor. They kind of remind me of animals; is it really that scary to hear a gunshot? “We believe you!” Oh, they’re fine enough to speak; thank God. “I’m sorry, alright? Please don’t do that again…” Finally.

“So, are you going to give me my money?” I hold out the smelly crusted cat-ear. “I fucking lost a guy doing this, you know?”

A look–and a nod–is exchanged between the guards, before the other one clears his throat to speak up. “Yes, of course. This’ll be about two thousand and five hundred yen.” Wait, what? Wasn’t it three thousand?

“Hold on a minute.” I affix the scam artist with a hard glare. “You fucking pig. You think you can swindle me, huh?”

“What do you mean? The bounty for hunting a youkai is-” That does it.

“Cut the shit already.” I point the shovel at him, and both of them go stiff. “You think I’m stupid? You want me to pump you full of lead?” Bluff or not, these guys are pissing me off! “Give me my damn money, or I’m going to blast your brains out!”

Finally seeing sense, the man hastily fumbles with his belongings before producing a handful of coins from his satchel. As he exchanges them for my barbaric trophy, I start counting through my cash. Five hundred yen coins; ten of them. So it was five grand after all? I should probably tell S.C about this before these pricks scam more cash out of him. “Thanks.” I nod to the nervous man. “I’m going to go now.” Finishing up the conversation, I make my way past the muttering guards, and into the village.

The calm bustle of villagers going about their day feels wrong, like today wasn’t the host of something horrible. A man died, and nobody seems to care; should I even care? He was a bit weird, but I don’t think Kosak deserved any of what I put him through.

How do these people just accept their lives here? Is it really as simple as routine, to break your back–or risk your life–every day just to put food in your mouth until it becomes normal? I don’t know if I want to live a life where danger becomes normal, and losing people is just par for the course. I need to visit Reimu; we all do. Nomura and Joaquin aren’t risk-takers, but S.C still goes out into the forest every day, and who knows when he might stop coming back?

Man, what did I even do to get stuck here? I start pacing my way to the gang’s usual haunt. Life was bad, but it was comfortable. Now there’s a new shitshow to deal with every other day because my friends are idiots, and I’m an even bigger one for thinking I was playing some kind of self-insert power fantasy; I would have died in those stupid fields if the others didn’t have my back. Maybe I’m not cut out for this…

My injured hand stings again as a light gust of wind passes by; fuck, I really need to get this treated. Don’t want to lose the whole hand to an infection or something, now, do I? Some alcohol should do, but where I can get some is a different story. The locals should probably know; pretty sure no one here would be sober, considering where the village is located.

Now…who do I call? Maybe that guy? “Hey. Excuse me!” I make eye contact with an unassuming man in a black kimono. “Do you know where I can uh…get some alcohol?” I raise my hand to give him an eyeful of my reason. “This kind of needs some disinfecting.” Oh shit, it’s still bleeding too. I should buy some bandages while I’m out.

The guy’s eyes widen as he takes in my fresh fingerless stumps. “This isn’t good. You need immediate medical attention!” Woah, what? A bit dramatic, I see. “You’re going to bleed out at this rate!” Wait, really? I look down at my clothes to see- yeah, that’s a lot more blood than I remember. Is that why I was feeling so philosophical all of a sudden? Wait, isn’t that kind of bad? Holy shit, I gotta do something!

“Dude. Tell me where the alcohol store is, fast!” My tone still stays pretty breezy, but I am freaking out on the inside. “I might pass out at this rate!” Man, and just after I got paid, too!

The man grabs my arms and gives me a firm shake. “Calm down!” His stern voice snaps me to attention. “You’re going to make things worse if you don’t calm down right now.” Okay, maybe I wasn’t that good at hiding my panic. “Come with me. I’ll fix you up.” Wait, really?

Before I can decide on if that’s a good idea, the dude begins leading me along my uninjured limb to–presumably–his house or something. A few minutes of silence pass as we make the walk to his place, punctuated occasionally by the feeling of a drop or two of blood running down my palm. (Seriously, how the hell did I not notice this earlier?) Still, it doesn’t take all that long to reach his doorstep–which he ushers me into urgently.

The house itself (well, calling it a house might be generous) is pretty modest. There’s not much but a bed in the corner, some furniture, and a lady hunched over a pot. I barely finish my look around the place when the woman suddenly cries out. “What’s that smell!” What- Oh, right. I should have showered, man. “Who is this?” Woah, easy with the yelling!

“Don’t worry about it, Kotone, I’m just patching him up.” He simply tells his wife before turning to me. “Come on, sit on the bed.” Yeah, sure. My rear rests on the surprisingly soft bedding as the man takes a bottle out from one of the shelves. I raise my wounded wrist as he tips it over and-

“Ow!” God, that burns! Every nerve in my hand feels like it’s getting boiled alive; what did I do to deserve this! “What the hell!” I try to wrench my hand free, but the man holds it in a vice grip as he starts wrapping bandages that make everything worse. “Stop it!”

Finishing up, the man admires his handiwork while I try my hardest not to thrash around like a fish. “It’s okay. Just breathe.” Fine. In… and out… In… and out… The burning fades a bit. That’s a bit better, I guess. “How does it feel?”

Looking past the near constant buzz of pain, I don’t feel too bad. The bandages feel reassuringly tight around my hand, and I don’t see any more blood leaking down my arm. “Pretty good. Thanks.” This guy knows his stuff. “Mister, uh…”

“Hideyoshi. And don’t mention it, I just did what anyone would do.” He waves off the act of kindness like it was nothing. Weird guy. “Anyway, do you want to stay for supper?” Oh, what? No, I probably- “You’re free to go, but I think it would be best if you got something warm in your body. You lost a lot of blood.” Well, he’s got a point. Sure, why not?

I nod at the man who calls out to his wife–a bit louder than was probably necessary. “Kotone, make some miso soup with that rice!”

The woman–to her credit–shouts back just as loudly. “Are you going senile? We’re almost out of money!” Oh, that’s not good.

“Just do it!” He turns to me and speaks with a much kinder tone. “Don’t worry about her. She’s going through menopause.” What- Huh? “You’re welcome to stay.” Is- Is he just not going to mention- Actually… Let’s just move on. I’d like to eat something before my last brain cells end up frying themselves because of these people.

Man, that was a nice dinner. That Hideyoshi guy was right; something warm really does make a difference. I feel less likely to suddenly keel over and die, but now that I’m not preoccupied with the meaning of life or whatever, I can actually smell myself–and I stink! Really need to buy a new change of clothes or something; I might still just fucking die if I take a bath right now.

Whatever, I should probably tell the guys what happened first. I shouldn’t be too far from the spot now, and sure enough, I think I can spot a silhouette in the light of the late sunset. Focusing my gaze as I approach, I spot Nomura (I think?) sitting with his back against a wall, looking all tuckered out. As I get closer, I also notice…holes? There’s a generous number of them around him, and they look fairly recent too. Has he just been doing this all day?

Suddenly, the man jerks his head up to look at me. (My footsteps probably woke him up) “Joe! How are you-” His face scrunches up in disgust as he looks me up and down. A hand quickly pinches his nose. “What the hell happened to you?” Man, I wish I could be as much of a sweet summer child as you, Nomura.

“Don’t worry about it.” I wave off his question. “I’ll tell you in a bit, just… Let me catch my breath for a minute.” Man, how am I going to explain today? S.C’s going to blow a- “Actually,” I turn my gaze around the deserted street, finding no one but us. “Where the hell is S.C?” Did he actually get himself killed? This day just gets worse and worse, doesn’t it?

“He’s asleep.” Oh. “Why?” Well, that makes things a bit easier, I guess.

Should I tell Nomura, or should I wait for S.C and Joaquin so everyone can know together? Well, I don’t really feel like dealing with S.C’s crap, so I guess I could just relay it through Nomura? “Yeah, no reason.” Honestly, I’m too tired to care anymore. “I think I’m ready to talk.”

I take a seat opposite of my only current companion. The rough wooden texture feels like a grater against my raw back; did I get cut or something? Might have to check that in the morning… “So.” I lock eyes with Nomura. “I went hunting today, and I met Kosak.”

“Oh, right!” His eyes light up in recognition. “Wasn’t he the creepy guy we gave bread to?” Creepy. That’s something pretty insulting to call a dead man! But he doesn’t know; he wasn’t there. I only let out a sigh in response.

A few seconds pass before I gather my thoughts enough to continue speaking. “Yeah. He came with me into the forest and…” This feels wrong to say. But I have to say it, don’t I? “He’s dead. We got jumped by a cat youkai, and I barely killed her before she got me too.” Stupid fucking cat.

“Oh…” Nomura almost seems to deflate at my confession. Did I say too much? “That sounds…nasty, Joe.” He gives me a look that screams ‘poor thing’, and I hate it. “It’s alright if you don’t want to go into detail.” At least he can read the room.

“Yeah… The important bits are that I found out my power, I think. Something to do with my gun’s ammunition.” At his confused stare, I clarify further. “I put some random rocks in my magazine, and it just fired them like literal bullets.”

With an ‘Oh!’ The man prepares to say something, but I raise my shovel to signal him to stop. “I’m really not feeling it today, man. I just want to sleep right now.” The sooner, the better.

“I understand.” Man, he’s pretty considerate for an unemployed rat. “Goodnight, Joe.”

Yeah, thanks. “Goodnight.” With a bit of effort, I push myself back onto my feet before shuffling over into the alley. S.C’s snoring away somewhere in the darkness–and I don’t feel like breaking a leg anytime soon–so I situate myself in a mildly clean spot near the mouth of the alley and get comfortable. The sooner I can sleep, the sooner I can forget this miserable day ever happened. Maybe I’ll wake up and realize it was a dream; maybe not.

I close my eyes and try to take steady breaths (not an easy feat when you’re covered in some of the smelliest shit known to man) to lull myself into unconsciousness; not sure if it takes minutes, or hours before I can finally start feeling numb–drifting away into a restless slumber.