Work Text:
amanda was standing in the middle of a seated crowd, her eyes watery, full of contradicting feelings. fear and courage. love and sorrow. and just a tiny bit of hope.
time stopped when amanda got up.
air was cut from everyone's lungs. nobody moved, just amanda’s jittery left hand and a rebel tear that rolled down her eye.
the leaves from trees stopped moving, the grass’ blades stayed still, every hair that was at the mercy of the wind, refused to dance.
she was sitting in between shayne and ian, wearing a gorgeous flowy forest green dress. she was supposed to be behind, wearing a yellow outfit, matching court, chanse, mariah and the rest of angela’s party.
amanda was standing. amanda got up when patrick said “blablabla speak now or forever hold your peace”.
angela didn’t see amanda getting up. angela didn’t wanna see amanda in the crowd. angela couldn’t see amanda on the day she was going to get married.
because she knew.
angela knew she loved her fiancée, but she also knew she could never scratch the itch off. angela could never not wonder about her and amanda.
--
they had kissed once, at a party, although both were sober, well they kept kissing, they kissed, once, twice, thrice, even more times. but they’ve just kissed there, right there in space and time.
they kissed, made out, and never discussed it.
angela already knew she was in love with amanda, but it still shocked her, that they had kissed, but she understood it was a mistake, she took amanda’s silence as a sign and moved on, went on with her life.
and she moved on too hard, so hard she said yes when her girlfriend of 18 months proposed to her, so hard that she went wedding dress shopping with her mom and her friends, so hard she signed a lease, so hard she didn’t even had the time to stop and think, because if she did, if she dared to stop she would’ve known.
angela would’ve known that the soulmate shit was bullshit but that amanda was hers.
maybe she wasn’t amanda’s but amanda owned her heart, she did years before that kiss.
--
so when patrick didn’t continue, when a collective gasp was heard, when she saw shock, anger and pain in her fiancée’s eyes she turned around.
her amanda was standing, not only that, her amanda moved to the aisle, not only that her amanda was about to speak.
angela was standing in front of a seated crowd. she was wearing a gorgeous white dress, holding a yellow and orange bouquet.
angela was standing now facing the crowd, she was surrounded by her fiancée, patrick (friend and officiant) and their wedding party. angela was standing, her eyes full of surprise, bigger that they have ever been.
angela’s chest began matching amanda’s, up and down, as the anxiety was taking over both of them. until amanda spoke.
maybe truth calmed them both.
“i love you, angela. i always have. you’re my-, you are my favourite person, angela. i’ve always thought you didn’t see me, and i hated it, i hated that you didn’t see me like i see you because you, you are all i see. when i go to sleep you’re there, when i wake up i see you in your absence next to me, when i picture happiness it’s your face.
i love you. all of you. and, and, and i think you love me too ang. i think you also feel whatever it is that makes me go back to you. i feel like it tugs your heart to me too.
do you love me? angela?”
amanda let her heart out, let it bleed in front of everyone, in between tears and stumbling words.
angela faced her fiancée and and saw defeat and sadness and tears and love, so much love.
angela whispered “i’m so sorry” but nobody noticed, just them two.
angela was standing in front of the crowd. she stepped forward to the aisle, angela ran towards amanda, although she felt like she was walking a thousand miles to her.
angela looked into amanda’s eyes, put her hand on amanda’s cheeks and smiled.
she held her hand and they both ran out of the venue.