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The first time Kuroo’s food goes missing he doesn’t bother asking questions. It was just a snack and honestly making it through 6 months of living together he’d only had food stolen once, so it was almost worth celebration.
2 weeks later, when some chocolate he’d set aside disappears, he just assumes he’d forgotten to label it, and if he had, then it was fair game, regardless of his intentions.
But when his mackerel went missing that was the final straw.
Suspect number 1 was Bokuto. He was fairly certain that his boyfriend hadn’t meant to steal Kuroo’s labelled food but sometimes distractions happened.
“Hey, Kou.” He said, dropping down onto the couch next to Bokuto.
“Tetsu!” Bokuro beamed, and immediately cuddled into Kuroo’s side, wrapping an arm around his waist.
Kuroo smiled despite himself, planting a kiss on Bokuto’s forehead and shifting so he could cuddle closer before carding his fingers through his hair. Bokuto let his eyes slip shut, giving himself up to the attention.
“Kou, can I ask you something?”
Bokuto hummed in response.
“Did you eat the mackerel I had set aside in the fridge?”
At that, Bokuto’s eyes blinked open and he looked at Kuroo with confusion.
“You mean your special grilled stuff?” he asked. “Your favorite one?”
Kuroo nodded, feeling almost guilty that he’d asked.
Bokuto sat up, shaking his head vehemently. “I didn’t touch it! I promise Tetsu I know that’s your favorite! I’m not lying, I swear it wasn’t me!”
“Hey, Kou, it’s okay. I believe you.”
And he did. Besides knowing Bokuto would never do something like that on purpose and lie about it, he also knew exactly how much of a bad liar his boyfriend was. If he was this insistent it meant that he had to be telling the truth.
However that did beg the question: If Bokuto didn’t take the food then who did?
“Do you think Keiji threw it out?”
Bokuto thought for a moment before shrugging and saying, “Probably not. If they were going to they’d have asked you first.”
Kuroo watched in amusement as Bokuto puzzled over the issue. His brow furrowed, his lips twisted into a thoughtful almost pout, and one hand was curled under his chin. He was like an adorable, real life version of that sculpture: the Thinker, or whatever. He certainly had the arms for it, and Kuroo allowed himself one moment of admiration before returning to the issue at hand.
But before he could start to speak, Bokuto suddenly straightened, looking more like the lightbulb had come on inside his body than over his head.
“I know!” he declared. “Keiji didn’t throw your food away…” and here he paused, before striking a ridiculous pose and declaring, “They ate it!”
He couldn’t stop the laugh that immediately burst out of his mouth, but hearing Bokuto’s cries of “I’m serious bro!” he tried to reign it in. It wasn’t so much the idea of Akaashi stealing food as the confident way Bokuto had announced his theory, almost like a detective in a bad cop drama.
Taking a deep breath and trying to hold in giggles, he said, “I’m sorry, Kou, I just can’t see them stealing food.”
Bokuto folded his arms, pouting. “Well you’ve clearly never seen them on a midnight snack run.”
“Wait, Keiji does midnight snacks?”
Bokuto nodded, expression solemn. “More than me and you during training camp.”
Not missing Kuroo’s sceptical look, he huffed and continued, “Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.”
And so it came to this: crouched in the corner of the kitchen at almost 2 in the morning, watching “the bait” and waiting for the plate of onigiri to lure their datemate in.
“Maybe, they’re not hungry tonight.” Kuroo suggested, stifling a yawn. “It’s late, we should-”
He was cut off by Bokuto’s hand covering his mouth and frantic pointing toward the kitchen entrance.
Looking at Akaashi, Kuroo wasn’t entirely sure they were awake. They yawned hugely, pulling up the hem of their shirt - or was that one of Bokuto’s - to scratch their hip. Trancelike, they wandered across the kitchen and without even a flicker of thought about the weirdness of the presence of onigiri just sitting on the counter, picked up 2, and ate both before making it to the fridge.
While they were busy peering into the fridge for more food, Kuroo shot an incredulous look at Bokuto, who just mouthed “I told you so.”
The sound of the fridge door closing brought Kuroo’s attention back to Akaashi, who was now taking the rest of the onigiri, plate and all, back to his room, with one of Bokuto’s fruity sports drinks tucked under their arm.
Shaking his head, Kuroo let them go. Some things just weren’t worth messing with.