Archive of Our Own

It was spring when cherry blossoms began to bloom, the weather was getting warmer which was a sign for new beginnings. Even though his spring vacation just finished, Isagi didn’t feel like it was enough, not prepared to start his third year of university when it got more intensive and job hunting already had to start. He still had seminars to attend, labs to do, and seek out opportunities so he could stand out amongst the rest when he had to start job hunting. It was a pain and he only wished that he didn’t choose physiotherapy as his major because the workload sucked.

“As I see the seats have been filled up, I can see everyone is here on time.” The professor of his biochemistry class began as he stood at his front desk. “The person you are sitting next to right now is your lab partner for the rest of the term. At the end of class, I will give you the opportunity to introduce yourself and make sure you have each other’s contact information in case you need to discuss your assignments.”

Isagi glanced over to the young man next to him. He sat straight, eyes looking forward at the teacher, not even looking at him in curiosity.

He recognized him vaguely, probably from seeing him on campus once in a while, but didn’t recall having him in any of his classes before. Isagi was sure he would remember someone in his class with a pretty face like him yet he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Throughout the lesson, Isagi would occasionally sneak a look over at his lab partner. He remained focused for a while until his eyes shifted, teal eyes meeting his in a glare.

Isagi nearly jumped out of his seat, instantly looking at the front again, feeling awkward and embarrassed.

‘What a scary guy.’

The professor allowed them free time five minutes before class officially ended and the chatter began as students talked about the upcoming lab. Isagi recognized many of his classmates as they had all been in the same class before but his lab partner was the only odd one out so he was the only one that really needed to do a formal introduction.

“Nice to meet you…Itoshi, right?” Isagi began, recalling the name on the sheet of paper right before class started. “I’m Isagi Yoichi. Let’s have a good year.”

Isagi felt his teal eyes scrutinizing him, looking at him warily.

“Itoshi Rin.” Itoshi muttered without even giving his greetings back and looking like he’d rather be elsewhere. “Are we done then?”

Isagi was surprised at his abruptness but tried to hide it. There were a lot of weirdos that were studying science so he had let it roll off his back.

“Uh, we should probably exchange numbers in case we need to contact each other, yeah?” Isagi said as he took out his phone from the back of his pants pocket.

Itoshi frowned but took out his phone. “What’s your number?”

Isagi recited it as he watched Itoshi input it into his phone. As he did so, he couldn’t help but stare at his long fingers. There was something strangely beautiful about them; slender yet still masculine in nature. Isagi wasn’t sure what it was but he kept staring even as he finished giving his number.

He nearly jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. Looking down, he saw it was a message from an unknown number.

From: Unknown
Received: 14:23

[This is Itoshi.]

“Ah!” Isagi went in to save Itoshi’s number. When he looked up, Itoshi was standing. “Where are you going?”

Itoshi gave him a look. “That’s all we need to do, right? So we’re free to leave now.”

“Eh? Don’t you want to get to know each other before we start working together?” Isagi blinked in confusion. He thought they could talk about their courses and see if they had any other common classes or had any hobbies in common so they could be friendly at least.

“Listen, I’m not here to make friends.” Itoshi said with a shrug as he picked up his backpack. “I just want to deal with my classes and pass so save your friendliness for someone else.”

With that, Itoshi left, leaving Isagi stunned.

Despite having such a handsome face, his personality was such shit.

As Isagi was ruminating over it, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw his friend and fellow physiotherapy student, Chigiri look at him with a grin.

“Let’s head over to the next class?” Chigiri asked. However, the smile disappeared when he noticed Isagi’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

“That…that guy!” Isagi grumbled. He stood up and grabbed his bag, walking out with Chigiri. “‘I’m not here to make friends’; ‘save your friendliness for someone else’ – what kind of guy says that kind of thing?! I just want to get along since we have to work with each other the rest of the term! How do I work together with someone who has a stick up his ass?!”

“Ah,” Chigiri said, realizing why Isagi was upset. “I see your new lab partner isn’t what you expected?”

“I barely talked to him and I’m already annoyed.” Isagi huffed. He slouched. “This is going to be a long class, isn’t it?”

“Hmm, seems like it.”

Isagi knew that was the case when they started their first lab together and Itoshi started barking orders at him.

“Get the primers. No, we don’t need two reverse primers. Where’s the forward primer?!”

“Pass me the polymerase–did you not measure it already?! Why does it look like more than what we need?!”

“For God’s sake! I measured it properly!” Isagi snapped, tired of Itoshi accusing him for no reason. “I’m not incapable of doing this lab, you know!”

“Hmph.” Itoshi grunted and turned away from him. He finished up with the mix and Isagi held his hand out.

“Pass it to me. At least let me put it in the machine since you refused to let me do the mix.” He said. As soon as he said that, he saw Itoshi’s twitch and his frown getting deeper. “I’m your lab partner. I’m supposed to do some of the work too.”

“Don’t fuck up then.” Itoshi reluctantly handed him the vial. “It’s just a bunch of buttons. You can probably handle it then.”

“Of course I can!” Isagi retorted, offended that Itoshi was telling him off. After asking around, Isagi learned that Itoshi was a year younger than him, meaning he was only a second year. Sure, he might have been smart enough to be in a third year class but Isagi was still his senior. He should talk to him with more respect!

He headed to the PCR machine and inputted the settings he needed. He placed the tube in the machine and all he had to do was wait for it to finish.

When he returned to Itoshi, he was cleaning up their area. Isagi helped out and when they were done, they sat down. Itoshi immediately took out a notebook to write something down.

“What are you doing?” Isagi asked curiously. He tried not to look too obvious as tried to see what was being written but was failing.

“Taking notes on what I did versus what you did so if something happens, I can blame you.”

“Oi! It’s going to be fine!”

It was not fine.

When they came back for their second lab that week so they could run the PCR in the gel and…

It didn’t work.

“What happened? Why isn’t it working?” Itoshi scowled at the gel. “Get the magnesium chloride.”

Isagi quickly came back and they tried adding some into it but still, it wasn’t working. Isagi was confused and Itoshi was angry.

Itoshi took out his notebook and ran a finger down the page. He began to mutter.

“We did the sample properly, I even re-measured it to make sure it was right. What temperatures did you set everything at?” Itoshi asked as he turned to Isagi.

“Uhh…” Isagi took out the sheet with their experiment information. “Ninety-four, ninety-four, fifty-five—”

He stopped and blinked.

And gasped.

“Ah.”

When he looked up, he could see a vein on Itoshi’s neck. Isagi tried to hide behind his sheet of paper to avoid his glare.

“ ‘Ah’?” Itoshi questioned as he leaned closer to him, gaze menacing. “What’s the ‘ah’?”

“Ahh…” Isagi’s voice deflated. “I…might have messed up the temperatures.”

“It’s on the fucking sheet.”

“I…yeah.”

Itoshi placed a hand over his eyes, his fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose slightly before running a hand through his hair. He turned away from Isagi, allowing him to finally look at him.

“Itoshi, I’m really sorry—”

“Fuck off.”

“Listen, it was an honest mistake—”

“An honest mistake doesn’t mean shit when it results in a failing grade.” Itoshi snapped, making Isagi recoil. “Fucking hell. Can we even redo this?”

“I’m sure the professor will understand. It’s our first lab—”

“What kind of shitty, idealistic place do you live in if you think everyone will be understanding of your mistakes?” Itoshi spat, venom dripping from his voice. “You shouldn’t be in this class if you think everyone is that forgiving.”

Isagi flinched. “Oi, that’s a bit harsh.”

Itoshi sneered. “Well, so far, you’re not actually showing that you belong here.”

And with that, Itoshi turned away to talk to the professor. Meanwhile, Isagi felt anger rise in him, resisting the urge to throw the failed experiment at the back of Itoshi’s head.

“He’s so mean! Seriously, so what if I messed up once? You didn’t have to say I don’t belong in the program!” Isagi complained before stuffing his face with his burger. He was eating with Chigiri, Nagi, and Barou at a family restaurant as they had their books out to do some studying at the same time. “He’s a second year. A second year. Can he not show some respect?!”

“Sounds like a jerk.” Nagi replied, not eating nor studying, having his chin on the table as he played a game on his phone.

“I have heard that he has a bit of a difficult personality from some of the other second years I know.” Chigiri said with a small laugh. “He doesn’t sound that popular there either. They said that the only thing he had going for himself were his grades and his looks.”

“So he’s an honour student or something?” Barou asked as before he sipped on his drink, half listening and half ignoring Isagi’s rant.

Chigiri nodded. “Top grades, scholarship, the whole thing. I heard that he’s studying to be a doctor and his older brother is studying medicine abroad too.”

“And he thinks he’s soooo much better than me.” Isagi groaned as he slouched in his seat. He pouted, feeling angry at this damn elite student and how arrogant he was. “So annoying.”

“Well…” Chigiri seemed to hesitate and Isagi caught it.

“What?” Isagi asked as he narrowed his eyes. He sat up and leaned against the table, watching as Chigiri thought out his response carefully.

“You did fuck up.” Barou answered bluntly before Chigiri could. “You were the reason the lab failed, right?”

“I–well, yeah…”

“So really, if that guy is serious about being a doctor and keeping his scholarship, he’s right to be pissed off.” Barou concluded logically enough that Isagi couldn’t argue. “I’d be beating your ass if you were my partner.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m not.” Isagi retorted, disappointed that Barou wasn’t outright on his side. He began to poke at his fries. “A second year medical student with a scholarship and top grades and he’s looking down at me…”

“Your grades can’t compare to him.” Chigiri replied and Isagi felt like he was stabbed by that statement. “I don’t think you’ll be able to get his trust after that lab.”

“J-Just because my grades aren’t like his doesn’t mean I can’t be trusted!” Isagi argued. He was met with silence and looks from his friends; even Nagi looked up from his game to stare. “It’s true!”

“Maybe he’ll trust you more if you actually are better than him.” Barou said with a wave of his hand, dismissing how indignant Isagi was. “You know? Force him into submission with your grades.”

“Ooh, that would be fun!” Chigiri agreed as he pointed at Isagi with a spoon from his dessert. “Get better grades than him, make him grovel at your genius.”

“Sounds too troublesome.” Nagi said with a sigh. “Isagi can’t do it.”

“What do you mean I can’t do it?” Isagi retorted stubbornly. “I can! I can totally get better grades than him!”

“Uh huh.”

“Sure.”

“Doubt it.”

“I will!” Isagi replied with determination, offended that his friends had so little faith in him. “I will definitely show that guy that I won’t be disrespected and I deserve to be in that class just like him!”

But it wasn’t that simple.

Isagi stared at the books that he gathered piled on the table in front of him. This floor of the library was quiet and he thought he could get some studying in but he hadn’t even started before he ran into a problem.

This was too much.

He had gone through his textbooks this year and realized that some of the most basic things, he had forgotten. So he went back to some books he had gone through in his first and second year as a refresher. Each time he went through something, it seemed his memory failed him and he had to go through it again and again. Nothing was sticking.

Was it really that impossible?

‘No!’ Isagi thought as he shook his head. He took the book from the top and opened it up. ‘I need to prove to Itoshi that I can be a reliable upperclassman. I need to prove that I am capable.’

But it was tiring work.

Isagi felt his eyes glaze over every so often with all the information and technical terminology. Although he was familiar with it, it didn’t mean he didn’t struggle with some of the meanings. He was just an average student after all and now he was throwing himself into the ring to try to beat this genius?

The struggle was real.

Isagi got up from his seat after however long he had been there to find another book. He had recalled one of the concepts being on a test in the past and he had done poorly on it. Even after that, he didn’t do much to learn more, only studying enough to scrape by. Perhaps it was time to actually look at it properly.

Isagi went down the now familiar aisle to search for the right sounding book. He scanned up and down, unable to locate it even though he had just seen it a couple of hours ago. Within that time, someone had come and grabbed it already? He really was low on luck that day.

After reaching the end of the aisle, failing to locate it, he stopped when he saw someone sitting at one of the tables at the very end.

Itoshi.

And not only that, he had the book that Isagi was looking for.

He inwardly groaned. He didn’t want to talk to Itoshi when he was the asshole that was making Isagi study so hard. But he needed that book eventually. It seemed like it was the only copy he could find at the moment. Isagi weighed in the pros and cons of talking to Itoshi once more, debating whether or not it was worth the insults he would inevitably hurl at him.

Well…maybe Itoshi would think a little better of him if he proved he was studying?

Isagi sighed and stepped forward.

“H-Hey, Itoshi.” He didn’t mean to stutter, feeling his face burn in embarrassment. “How are you doing?”

Itoshi ignored him, which wasn’t that surprising. If the lecturing from his friends told him anything, it was that Isagi was the one at fault for messing up on the lab.

“Uh, that textbook…” Isagi began, struggling to find the right words so he wouldn’t sound as pathetic. “When are you going to be done with it?”

Itoshi’s eyes flickered to him for a moment before going back to the book. Isagi waited, hoping that he would actually respond because he had something to do with studying.

“This is a second year book.”

And of course, this is what Itoshi said first!

“Yeah, I thought it would be good to review.” Isagi replied as he scratched his cheek. “There was something I ran across and I remember it being related to something in that class. It wouldn’t hurt to double check.”

Itoshi stayed silent as he stared at Isagi. He sighed and handed him the book. “Find the page and take a picture and be done with it.”

“T-Thanks!” Isagi said with a nod. He went through it, finding the chapter relating to his current studies. He placed the book on the table and took the pictures with his phone before giving it back.

“You really should’ve memorized such a thing.” Itoshi said as he opened back to the page he was originally on. “Aren’t you supposed to be finding a job soon? How can anyone hire you if you forget so easily?”

Isagi tried to stay calm. He really wanted to knock Itoshi’s head for saying that but he had to be rational.

“Not everyone is perfect.” Isagi replied pointedly, a bit of scathing in his voice. “People can make mistakes and learn from them. If you keep thinking that perfection is the goal, then there’s nothing for you to learn after and wouldn’t that just be pathetic?”

Before Itoshi got a chance to reply, Isagi turned around and walked away, hiding how red his face was from anger. He knew that he wasn’t as elite as Itoshi but it still didn’t mean he could talk down to him like that! Isagi knew that the past couple of years, he hadn’t been the best student but he didn’t want to hear from him now when he was trying his best!

All the confusing terminology, the complicated processes, the pressure of finding a job after…

He didn’t realize how much he was lacking until now.

“Itoshi, can you check the status here?” Isagi asked as he brought over the written notes to him. Even though he tried to be polite, Itoshi was looking at him in annoyance.

“All you’re doing is writing down what you see. Can’t you even do that right without me babysitting you?” Itoshi grumbled as he took the paper from Isagi. He took all of Isagi’s power not to argue with him. “It’s fine. Your handwriting is shitty though. Can barely read it.”

“It’s perfectly fine!” Isagi scoffed as he snatched the paper back. “The professor can read it and that’s all that matters.”

“You think you can accomplish anything when you’re that half-assed?”

Isagi clenched his teeth together, trying not to lose his temper. He had to remind himself to stay calm. There was no point in yelling and falling for his provocations.

It was tempting though.

“I’m not half-assing anything.” Isagi kept his voice even.

“What about that experiment?”

“I made one mistake on that and never again! It’s been months already, you have to get over it!”

Isagi made sure never to make such a dumb mistake again. He made sure to prep on the lab requirements, the procedures, and check with the professor if he didn’t understand something. He properly did his work so this damn junior of his didn’t humiliate him again and he could prove that he was better.

“If you make one mistake as a medical expert, lives could be at stake.” Itoshi argued. “If you make one wrong diagnosis and give someone the wrong medication, they won’t get better and will potentially get worse. You can’t study in this field and get over ‘one mistake’.”

Isagi frowned. “I get it but we’re still students. We’re still learning and getting better. It’s better to make these mistakes now rather than in the future when actually dealing with patients.”

“That’s not an excuse. You have to be flawless in this field.”

“And I’ve been flawless since that incident!” Isagi retorted, almost losing his temper. Talking to Itoshi was like talking to a brick wall. “Our labs have been perfect, I’ve been doing things as instructed and we’re doing well! I’ve learned and I’m making up for my past mistake so don’t hold it against me for getting better!”

Itoshi scoffed. He turned away and focused back on the notebook in front of him. “Lukewarm.”

Isagi huffed and turned away, knowing that no matter how much he tried, he wouldn’t be able to change his mind.

Despite proceeding with the labs flawlessly, Itoshi barely acknowledged Isagi. Isagi had more or less given up at this point so he only talked to him if he needed to talk about their assignment.

Life moved on.

With the summer in just a couple of months, Isagi had intended on working at his part-time job more. However, that plan derailed when his professor announced an interesting prospect.

“A new internship opportunity recently arrived.” The professor said as pamphlets were passed around. “The Japan National Health Association is doing research at the Tokyo University Hospital along with a conference at the end of August. They’re bringing doctors from all over the world for it, including those who have contributed greatly to the research. They are looking for interns to help in the lab and this would allow you to go to the conference as well.

“I advise you all to carefully consider it as it would make for a great networking opportunity while giving you the chance to work in a professional setting.” The professor said as he looked around the room. “A chance like this will not come again so please apply.”

Isagi looked through the pamphlet, reading it carefully. Although it was not necessarily the kind of job he wanted in the future, having such an internship would open up many doors for him.

He glanced around the room and saw that all of his other classmates had looks of hunger as they stared at the pamphlet. It wasn’t that surprising since most of them were in their third year and already searching for jobs for when they graduate. When it came to their field, the more experience, the better, and this kind of experience was rare to come by. He knew that if he applied, competition would be intense. Should he even try? It wasn’t the path he wanted to go to eventually.

He turned his head when he heard a sound. Looking over at Itoshi, his hand crumpled part of the pamphlet, eyes more intense than the others, and teeth showing, clenched together. Isagi blinked in confusion, determining where he was staring and then found the same spot of his own pamphlet. It was a list of renowned participants who have already made contributions through peer reviewed papers that Isagi had recognized in some of his research.

Including one that he had vaguely recognized.

Itoshi Sae.

Perhaps Isagi was jumping to conclusions, but there must be a connection between Itoshi Sae and the Itoshi next to him. Based on Itoshi’s reaction, he must not have any good feelings towards them. Were they rivals? Since they had the same last name, were they related? But what was with that intense look that bordered on rage?

“Oi, Itoshi,” Isagi whispered, suddenly concerned with the veins that appeared on his neck. He was glad that everyone in this class had some sort of medical knowledge or he was fearful Itoshi would just explode on the spot. “Are you okay?”

Itoshi glared at him, making Isagi go silent. He then turned his attention back to the pamphlet, ignoring him.

This bastard.

“Sorry for being concerned then.” Isagi muttered as he turned back to face the front.

Whatever Itoshi’s issue was with Itoshi Sae was none of his business. With his attitude, Isagi could understand why anyone would have problems with him.

Isagi pulled at his tie, half out of nerves and half because of the heat. He had ended up applying for the internship in the end just to gain experience but it didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous for the interview.

He exhaled when his name was called from the waiting room. His body was stiff as he walked over, muscles tense and mind going blank. There was a mini panic as he was directed towards the chair in the middle of the room, in front of the interviewers, as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“It’s nice to meet you, Isagi Yoichi. I’m Arakawa Yoshiko, the manager of the lab and organizer of this internship.” A woman with a stern expression introduced herself. She directed him over to the man next to her. “This is Kurai Hisato, the hiring manager in the organization.”

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Isagi Yoichi, a third year student at XX University, majoring in physiotherapy.” Isagi managed to spit out as he bowed. “I look forward to the interview.”

“Please have a seat.” Kurai said as he gestured with his hand. Isagi did so and immediately, the questions began. “As you are aware, this is a position as an internship in a research laboratory and you would be in contact with many doctors and researchers from all over the world. You are in physiotherapy, correct? How would this apply to your studies?”

“Research is a large component of physiotherapy, just as much as working with people.” Isagi said, remembering the answers he had practiced at home various times. “Being up-to-date with medical research helps me understand the position of the industry, but also allows me to keep up with the thoughts of researchers and doctors. Such a thing would be valuable to me as a student, especially with the end of my studies coming soon.”

“Do you plan on pursuing a masters or doctorate program?” Arakawa asked, eyes piercing into him.

Isagi hesitated but tried to play it off as if he was thinking. “I have considered it but I would like to know how far I can manage in the present.”

Arakawa looked down at some papers on the table, eyes scanning quickly. “We have looked into your application and saw some changes when it came to your grades. It was quite a shift. Can you please explain to us why you suddenly changed?”

Isagi felt his chest clenching, heat rising to his cheeks because they wanted him to outright say that Itoshi changed him. He wouldn’t have gotten these good grades if it wasn’t for his competitiveness with him. He wouldn’t have gotten better at studying if Itoshi didn’t piss him off enough. He wouldn’t even be at this interview if Itoshi had shown him respect.

But here he was.

“I found some…encouragement.” Isagi replied as vaguely as he could. “There was someone who encouraged me to do better. In the past, I was a student who managed to just pass and to be honest, looking back on it, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long with that kind of mindset. It was until I met this person did…I want to do better. I studied so much to prove myself, went through the materials from the past two years along with this year so I can understand it better. It became a habit to seek knowledge and improve and getting this far, having the courage to even apply to this internship, is proof that I have gained the confidence to do so.”

Saying all of it aloud like that, without any vitriol and almost praising Itoshi for being the reason why he was there, it made it seem like he was…

No. That wasn’t the case.

Definitely not.

The interview proceeded and Isagi felt himself relax a little more after that question. Perhaps it was because he was getting used to it and they were asking more questions that he had expected, but something about laying it all out, about how far he had gotten in such a short time, made it seem like something was lifted off his shoulders.

“Oi, Isagi.” He turned at the familiar call of Chigiri’s voice. As soon as his friend saw him, he got slapped on the back but based on the grin on Chigiri’s face, it wasn’t because of malice. “Congrats on getting that internship. I never knew you had it in you.”

“Thanks.” Isagi managed to cough out, reaching for the point on his back Chigiri nearly broke. Chigiri continued smiling, seemingly oblivious to his pain though Isagi was sure he wasn’t. “I wasn’t actually expecting to get it either.”

“Gloating now, aren’t you?” Chigiri asked as he placed his hands behind his head. “Well, I guess you’ve been working harder than usual lately. Nagi and Barou have been asking what you’ve been doing since you haven’t hung out with us in a while.”

“My bad.” Isagi laughed nervously. “I guess I got a bit too focused.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being focused in this case.” Chigiri pointed out. He raised an eyebrow. “As long as you keep it up after. You’ve only started studying hard these past few months because of Itoshi, yeah?”

“N-Not just because of him!” Isagi stammered unconvincingly. It was harder to deny after he went through with that answer at the interview and even Chigiri gave him a look like he didn’t believe him. “It’s my third year. I have to have good grades this year to make job searching easier, you know?”

“Weren’t you the one that wanted to prove him wrong?” Chigiri asked. Isagi turned away and pouted. “I heard he’s pretty harsh so you’ve got a huge challenge this term.”

“Knowing him, he probably applied to the same internship and got in too.” Isagi pondered. He was just informed that he got one of the spots but not who else was joining him. “Or not? I don’t know. He was acting really weird when we got the pamphlet.”

“Yeah?” Chigiri inquired. He looked up at the ceiling. “Wasn’t his brother taking part in it?”

“His…brother?” Isagi questioned. He vaguely remembered reading about another Itoshi though he dismissed it because it was none of his business.

Chigiri blinked then frowned. “You know. Itoshi Sae. He’s the guy that already has peer reviewed research published in the medical world even though he’s just a year older than us. He went to school in America and was called Japan’s future pride in surgery before he apparently switched to research. That guy? We had to read some papers about him.”

“Oh!” Isagi nodded in realization. “I remember his name now!”

“You really had no clue?” Chigiri snorted in amusement. “Well, he’s really famous and a lot of guys in our department either admire him or want to do better than him. Maybe the Itoshi we know, his younger brother, who is also in a similar field, feels the same way.”

Isagi pursed his lips in thought. Even though it had felt like so long ago, he could still remember Itoshi’s expression so clearly. He wasn’t sure why but just seeing the change in character, how his cool was completely lost, different from when he was scolding Isagi, was ingrained in his memory.

But whatever Itoshi was feeling at that moment, he was sure that he didn’t feel any admiration for his brother at that moment.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Isagi expected this kind of hostility. As soon as Itoshi had stepped in the waiting room and saw Isagi sitting there, he could feel the glare on him.

“I got the other position in the internship.” Isagi answered simply and calmly.

Itoshi looked at him incredulously. “You?”

“Me.”

“There must be a mistake.”

“You can check my acceptance letter if you want.” Isagi stated as he lifted up his phone. The acceptance letter was in his email. “Is it that surprising?”

He said that but he too was just as surprised he got it.

“You’re not that good.”

‘That’ good indicated that Isagi was at least some sort of decent in Itoshi’s mind.

He would take that.

“Itoshi, we’re getting the top marks in our class.” Isagi pointed out dryly.

“Because of me.”

“Fine, fine. You can believe that.”

Isagi waved him off dismissively and Itoshi didn’t argue anymore. He stomped over to the seat across from Isagi, crossing his arms and looking pissed off. Isagi didn’t acknowledge him any further, and focused on the document the internship had sent them earlier.

Neither of them spoke, focusing on their documents. Silence loomed over and Isagi was feeling a bit restless. Usually when he studied, he couldn’t quite concentrate without having some sort of noise whether it was a video playing in the background or some music in his ears. Even students chattering was enough but it was just him and Itoshi and the slight ruffling of papers.

It didn’t take too long for someone to come greet them as one of the managers of the internship. They were shown around the building, being introduced to the main areas they would be in such as the cafeteria, the changing rooms, and the laboratory.

Already in the laboratory were various people working. They peered into the window and Isagi could feel a small shift in the air. Recognizing the feeling, he turned to Itoshi.

Itoshi’s jaw was clenched, lips in a thin line. His eyes were completely focused in one direction in particular.

Isagi turned and not too far from the window was a young man with reddish brown hair. At first, he didn’t think there was too much to catch his attention but then as he turned and moved, Isagi could sense a familiarity with his eyes: the shape, the colour, and the eyelashes.

Itoshi Sae.

Itoshi’s older brother.

And also the target of his ire.

“Isagi, can you bring that over here?”

“Isagi, take the vial and examine the contents. Make a report on it and get it back to us stat.”

“Isagi, where are the statistics from the other day? It is completed, right?”

Isagi felt like he had no rest during the month that he was there already. Day in and day out doing small errands, mostly relegated to small tasks. He got to sit in during the briefings and discussions but it felt like it all went over his head. Was he actually meant to be there or did he get in based on pure luck?

No. He had to remind himself that he worked hard the past few months and made unimaginable improvement. Itoshi…Rin was also there. He had to make sure that he didn’t see Isagi as a weakling but others too.

He had to breathe and do his best. The more knowledge he acquired about the research, the more prepared he would be in the future, and the more likely he would be hired for the job of his dreams. 

“Itoshi…Rin.” It was hard to break out of the habit. Since both Itoshi Sae and Itoshi Rin were working in the same place, the research group had taken to adopting their first names instead so it would be less confusing.

Isagi held out a file for him. “You’ll need this for the next part.”

Rin took the file without a word. He scanned through it briefly, not moving away yet.

Isagi knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Everything was checked by the researchers already.” Isagi replied, a little miffed. “They said my work is perfect. You’re not questioning them, are you?”

Rin scowled. “I can’t trust anything from you.”

“We finished the term at the top of our class and now we have to work together so you have to trust me now.” Isagi argued as calmly as he could. It wouldn’t be too good to get heated while they were there. “After all, we’re both going into medical fields so it would be better to establish this cooperation early. Then you know you can trust me for other things in the future!”

“Lukewarm.” Rin dismissed and turned away, walking back to his station.

Isagi scowled and turned away, back to where he was needed. No matter what, Rin’s grudge was just too much! How was he going to work in the medical field effectively if he couldn’t even trust someone that has proven themselves? Isagi made one – just one – mistake and he couldn’t get over it?!

Rin really had some issues.

Isagi sighed in relief, sitting down on a bench in a rest area and taking a swig at the water he just bought. It was a much needed break and he felt himself mentally tired though the day wasn’t over yet. He just needed a moment of respite to get himself going again and proceed.

Rin had been told to take a break as well but promptly rejected it.

“Why should I?” Rin asked as he was sorting out some documents, eyes looking offended at such a suggestion. “There’s too much work to do.”

“While I admire your dedication, you honestly haven’t taken much of a break during this internship, even cutting your lunch short just to keep working.” One of the researchers said with concern. “You’re still a student. You need to pace yourself properly. The medical field is notorious for burning themselves out and not taking care of their own health because they think they know better.”

“I know the limits of my own body better than anyone else.” Rin dismissed. Isagi was baffled by his audacity as he said that to the researcher but he wasn’t pushed and the researcher let him be.

Isagi couldn’t help but feel envious of Rin’s determination and endurance. He could tell that the researchers fully trusted him with how his work ethic was and how he was trusted with other tasks that Isagi didn’t handle as of now. He and Rin were just completely different when it comes to it.

He blinked when he heard the vending machine next to him drop something, not realizing he was getting lost in his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Sae grabbing his drink.

“Good work today.” Isagi said automatically. He felt a little sheepish, not realizing he was there until then.

“Good work.” Sae returned. He walked over to the other side of the bench and sat down, taking a sip of his drink.

Sae and Rin were very similar though they didn’t look like it at first glance. Both were men of few words but their words were very purposeful, giving the information that was required (except when Rin scolded Isagi). Their mannerisms and stares were also chillingly the same, eyes looking at their subject as if they could pierce through them at any second (Isagi had gotten used to Rin’s annoyed expression though). They were both also incredible and proved it during the research and Isagi could understand how Sae was able to be so young but have multiple published papers already.

It was a bit intimidating to be sitting there with such a genius in silence. Rin was also considered to be a genius but Isagi had gotten used to him and his awful temper. Being in Sae’s presence was a bit uncomfortable.

“You’re…Isagi, yeah?”

Isagi nearly jumped when he realized that Sae was talking to him. He didn’t even think he would remember his name.

“Y-Yes?”

Sae barely looked at him, not even taking note of his nervousness.

“Are you studying to be a doctor?”

Isagi was confused at the sudden question, wondering where this would lead to.

“No. I’m actually studying physiotherapy.”

There was a small sound that he thought sounded like a click of a tongue but it was so brief, he must’ve imagined it.

“Pity.” He heard Sae mutter and thought he heard incorrectly.

“I’m sorry?” Isagi replied in confusion.

“There are a lot of shitty interns here that don’t know how to do their jobs or have shitty personalities.” Sae replied bluntly, making Isagi open his mouth in shock. “All of them are trying to kiss ass as if we have any say at big hospitals so they can potentially work there. You seem to be one of the few that can do their work well enough and has a decent personality, something a lot of doctors lack.”

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that…” Isagi tried to be diplomatic without sounding too flattered that someone like Itoshi Sae said he would actually make it as a doctor. “Everyone is trying their hardest here for their goals.”

“But some don’t get that working hard isn’t the only important thing.” Sae replied with a more distinct click of his tongue this time. “If you want to serve people, you have to not ignore the suggestions of your seniors and put on an unfriendly face.”

It seemed so specific that Isagi knew who he was talking about and knowing who Sae was related to…

“You and Rin are in the same class, right?”

“We were lab partners in biochemistry.”

“He’s the same, isn’t he?” Sae inquired without a sliver of surprise in his voice. “Good at studying but unfriendly and unsuitable to be a doctor. I guess my personality is somewhat similar which is why I switched to doing research instead. At the rate he’s going, if he doesn’t do something about that face of his, he’s going to get tons of complaints at the hospitals he wants to work at.”

“I mean, yeah, Itoshi…Rin isn’t the friendliest of guys.” Isagi couldn’t deny that but something about how Sae was saying it rubbed him the wrong way. This was his brother. How could he speak about him in such a manner? “But he’s the most dedicated person I know. You can tell how much he studies and how determined he is to work towards his goal. He’s doing all he can and he’s still only in his second year. He’s the youngest in this internship, isn’t he?”

“I’ve seen how you two are and you’re still defending him?”

“W-Well…” Isagi stuttered, a bit flustered. He didn’t need to defend Rin at all. He was a complete jerk to him during class and still held that stupid hostility during the internship. He had enough of a motive to let Sae shit talk him.

But honestly…

He didn’t hate Rin.

“I honestly don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for him.” Isagi replied as he scratched his cheek. Although he had denied it to Chigiri, he had used that as an answer in his interview. Saying it a second time, although conflicted in how he felt about it, he didn’t feel as embarrassed.

Because he knew it was the truth.

“Sure, he’s the way he is but…he’s still only in his second year. I’m sure that with more experience, he’ll be perfectly capable. I mean, he’s your brother, right?”

Sae gave a snort but didn’t say anything. He finished up his drink and threw away the can in the recycling.

“You’re giving him too much credit.” Sae stated before waving as he headed back to the lab.

“And you’re not giving him enough.”

Isagi knew that Rin was in no way perfect. He had a horrible personality and the thought of him being a doctor with how he was was completely ridiculous. But at the same time, he always knew how hard he was on himself. He watched Rin tear down everyone around him just so he could reach his goal. It was irritating how much he wanted to make sure everything was right and it pissed Isagi off.

But also, it pissed Isagi off enough that he had developed his own goal to be on Rin’s level.

Isagi sighed, throwing out his bottle in the recycling. He had to head back to the lab and go through the rest of the day. He twisted his neck to hear a satisfying crack before rounding the corner—

Nearly running into Rin.

“What the—” Isagi jumped back instinctively, placing a hand over his chest. “You scared the crap out of me! What are you even doing here?!”

Rin didn’t answer him, which was as expected. Isagi grimaced but after a silence that lingered too long, he gave up and began to walk towards the lab once more.

“What’s your deal?”

Isagi stopped, surprised that Rin suddenly spoke to him. His voice was surprisingly calm and a little quiet, a shift in tone that Isagi wasn’t used to from him.

“What do you mean?” Isagi asked, turning his body to face him once more.

“Why…” Rin looked away with annoyance. “Why did you say such a thing?”

Isagi blinked, not understanding what Rin meant. It took him a few more seconds to realize that he must’ve overheard the conversation he and Sae had.

Heat filled his cheeks when he remembered what he said about Rin. He gave a small cough, unsure how to answer.

“W-Well, it’s the truth!” Isagi spluttered unabashedly. If Rin already heard, there was no point in lying though admitting it to the person himself was a different story than to Chigiri or some strangers. He had never been a good liar in the first place. “You work yourself to the ground, hardly taking any breaks, but still having the endurance to keep going and doing well. I never had that kind of willpower to do what you can do until recently…”

Isagi felt himself rambling at this point. These were all things Rin knew since he heard the conversation. Isagi just felt more embarrassed the more he talked, especially since Rin’s gaze was completely unreadable.

“Like, I hated that you’re younger than me but had the gall to lecture me just because I did one wrong thing. I’m older than you, ya know, you should show respect!” Isagi blabbered, getting all of his thoughts out. “But then I realized that I shouldn’t be mad at you for getting mad. I should be getting mad at myself because I’m supposed to set an example and I’m the one who’s going to graduate first and get a job but I’m the one who messed up. You already had beaten me within our first lab and looked down on me and that just…pissed me off. I hated that you looked at me like I was beneath you and I wanted to prove that I could do just as well, that you could trust me…”

He had no idea where he was going with this. He stopped himself and sighed, trying to gather his thoughts.

It really led to this.

“I just…” Isagi hesitated but the adrenaline was still pumping in his blood. “I just really admire you.”

Rin was silent and Isagi couldn’t blame him. This was so embarrassing and Isagi just wanted to bury himself under the ground. He could hardly look at Rin but could feel his gaze on him.

“What the fuck?”

Isagi felt Rin walk past him but his footsteps stopped not long after. He released a heavy sigh and Isagi knew that he had somehow messed up. He couldn’t read Rin at all and what he was thinking.

“What the hell are you waiting for?” Rin suddenly said. Isagi turned and saw that he was still in the hall, looking at him as if he was waiting. “We have work to do.”

Isagi stumbled, remembering that they still had to go through the rest of the day. He approached Rin who didn’t move until he was next to him, heading back to the lab. Even though Rin wasn’t looking directly at him, there was something that changed at that moment. Maybe Isagi had grown accustomed to him so he could read his expression a little better, or maybe it was the slight tinge of pink on Rin’s cheek; either way, there was something different.

It was over.

The internship was over.

Isagi didn’t know how to feel. After two months of going in the lab, gathering data, learning from researchers, getting the guts to discuss with others and practicing his English, his head had been swimming non-stop. It was almost time to head back to normal classes and proceed back to job searching but at least he knew he had something nice and shiny on his resume with even some references!

The tension disappeared and he felt more satisfied than ever.

Was this what it felt like to give it one’s all?

He could get used to it.

There was to be a farewell party for the interns and to celebrate the end of the research project. Isagi had been given the task of dragging Rin once he had suddenly become more cooperative with him. After that day when Isagi first talked to Sae, somehow, Rin became…friendlier? That wasn’t the right word but he was less resistant to Isagi at least. He even entrusted some chemicals to him!

Perhaps because it was the words of his brother criticizing him, but even Isagi could see him trying to engage more with the other researchers. It wasn’t necessarily about research but he was listening more to them as they ate lunch and had breaks. He was actually taking breaks which shocked everyone else.

But Isagi didn’t miss that he only did so when he was taking a break. And Rin started sitting with him at lunch too.

Isagi chuckled to himself. Did he somehow get a stray cat to follow him?

Speaking of, Rin was taking too long cleaning up. Isagi had gone ahead since he needed to go to the toilet but Rin didn’t seem like the type to linger.

He sighed, knowing that he was expected to bring Rin to the farewell party and went back towards the lab, only to stop when he heard Rin’s voice. He rounded the corner, about to greet him until he heard Sae as well.

Immediately, he stepped back, hiding behind the corner. After listening to them for a few more seconds, he concluded that it was only the two of them there. Judging by how volatile Rin’s reactions were and the lack of communication throughout the internship between them, there was definitely some dispute between them that Isagi could not step in between.

“It seems like this experience did you some good.” Sae spoke calmly with no malice in his voice. “I guess if you keep this up, you’ll actually be a decent doctor.”

“Shut it, you shitty brother.” Rin snapped though there was less bite in it than Isagi expected. “It’s not like you give a shit. You gave up being a doctor to focus on research.”

“I mean, I’ll still be a doctor. Just in a different capacity.”

“That wasn’t our dream.” Rin replied quietly. There was a tinge of uncertainty and disappointment that was barely noticeable but Isagi could tell it was there.

‘Our’ dream. A dream that he and Sae had together but Sae didn’t continue to pursue. It made sense why Rin seemed hostile to him but at the same time, people grow and learn and find other things they want. Perhaps Rin just couldn’t accept that.

“Is that what you were pissed off about?” Sae asked incredulously. “That I changed my mind?”

“Well…”

There was silence as Rin didn’t continue. It was only broken when Sae sighed.

“You’re still just a kid.” Sae stated and Isagi could tell by the noise Rin made that he was offended. It took all he could not to laugh. “But it’s fine. You’re growing, you’re still young. You still have plenty of time to find out what you really want.”

“I know what I want and I’ll do whatever it takes to get it.” Rin said with determination. “I won’t be giving up halfway like you.”

“You call it giving up but I call it expanding my horizons.” Sae responded. “Just like you’re slowly doing.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“You’re a bit more relaxed now, aren’t you?” Sae inquired curiously. “I can sense it. There’s a bit of change and it’s not bad, which is why I think you becoming a doctor is actually possible.”

“Of course. I’m working my ass off for it.”

“That’s not what I mean, you idiot.” Isagi could imagine Sae rolling his eyes. There was a small sound, as if someone was patting someone on the shoulder or back. “Keep going at it. Make sure you use my research when it comes to diagnosing people in the future, alright?”

“Like hell I will!”

Footsteps were heading Isagi’s way. He made a motion to leave but it was too late, Sae already arrived. He spotted him immediately and stared.

“Take care of him for me.” Sae said with a dismissive wave. “He’s your problem now.”

“Oi, you stupid brother! Don’t just leave like that—” Rin stopped when he saw Isagi there, frozen in place. He narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“You were running late and we have to head to the farewell party.” Isagi managed to say. Sae walked away and didn’t say another word, making him wonder what he meant. “Come on! If I don’t bring you along, people are going to get mad at me.”

“You could’ve just waited.” Rin muttered as they began walking down the hall together, Sae a distant figure now.

“Excuse me for being concerned!” Isagi said with a slight pout. Rin didn’t say anything to that. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t have diarrhea or something like that.”

“Oi…”

Isagi grinned and slapped Rin on the back, making him flinch. “I’m sure it would help you after being tense for the entire internship.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Isagi laughed and nudged him with his shoulder. “A lot of things. Don’t you think you should diagnose me?”

“You have more issues than I can diagnose.”

“Well, you better start then!” Isagi replied with a cheeky grin. “I look forward to seeing the results.”

7 years later

“The patient needs to have rehabilitation as soon as possible! When are you going to approve?”

“Their body is still weak and they haven’t been responding well to the treatments. They need more time.”

“They can at least start with simple exercises. Ones that don’t require them to move from the hospital bed.”

“They still have some mental trauma and shouldn’t start with that yet. The therapist is still trying to work through their trauma, Doctor Isagi.” Rin glared at him. “I’m the doctor in charge of his care. I will contact you when they’re ready for physiotherapy.”

Isagi rolled his eyes. “I read the reports already. It’ll be bad if he starts later.”

“You don’t make that call.”

“But this is my field!”

The nurses nearby sighed as Rin and Isagi kept going. No matter what time of day it was, they always had something to argue about, whether it was about a patient’s conditions or even the amount of coffee Rin consumed in the break room. It was always the same kind of thing whenever they were on the same shift (which was quite often) and by this time, everyone around them had gotten used to it.

If only they got along.

“Fine, whatever!” Isagi replied as he threw his arms up. “Just make sure he recovers as soon as possible! You can do that, right?”

“When have you ever doubted me about that?” Rin snapped. He turned and stomped away. “You know better.”

“Yes, yes!” Isagi turned away with a huff, waving his hand up. “I trust you completely, Doctor Itoshi.”

Even with the annoyance in their voices as they walked away, throughout the day, all that calmed down by the time they reached home.

Together.

Rin fell face first onto the bed, Isagi already resting there with his phone in his hand, playing some nonsensical game. Rin didn’t move at first and Isagi kicked him from under the covers.

“Oi, at least get under the blanket or you’ll catch a cold.” Isagi said. He pushed Rin’s shoulder. “A doctor should know better.”

He almost yelped when he felt Rin’s arms snake around his waist and was suddenly pulled towards him, lying on his stomach on top of Rin. Rin held an annoyed expression before he buried his face in his shoulder.

“I need my meds.”

Isagi snorted. He dropped his phone on the pillow before wrapping his arms around Rin’s head. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

“Better?” His voice softened, knowing that the long shift Rin had had taken out all his energy. “Go to sleep. It’s rare that we have the day off. Let’s chill at home tomorrow, alright?”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll make something good for breakfast! Maybe an omelette.”

“Don’t fucking burn it.”

“I-I won’t!”

“You did last time.”

“That was once. I’ve gotten better! Don’t hold a grudge.”

“Mm.”

“If you do, you’ll miss out on something good.” Isagi said as he poked Rin’s forehead where he had kissed him. “You know that better than anyone else.”

When he looked at Rin’s face, he could see him thinking, mind at work, contemplating something. He couldn’t tell what it was but waited patiently as Rin gathered his thoughts.

“Yeah.” Rin said as he ran his hands up his sides. “You’re right.”

Isagi grinned, not missing the lingering glance Rin had on him. He leaned forward, their noses touching. “I can be right once in a while.”

Rin blinked before he leaned forward to give Isagi a small kiss on the lips. Isagi couldn’t help but giggle when Rin proceeded to kiss his jaw before leaning back on the bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head. It’lll grow bigger.”

“What an annoying diagnosis.” Isagi joked much to Rin’s annoyance. He yelled again when Rin flipped him, back now on the bed and Rin looming over him. He smiled, tugging at Rin’s collar. “Are you going to prescribe me some medicine?”

Rin sneered and leaned forward. Isagi challenged him with a look, knowing exactly what Rin was thinking.

“You better listen to me carefully then. I’m the best doctor around.”

“Yes, yes.” Isagi laughed. Rin’s confidence had only grown over the past few years. “I trust you completely, Doctor Itoshi.”

Rin promptly shut him up with a kiss which Isagi reciprocated. It was longer than usual, more impassioned and filled with practice; of trial and error, of tons of research, and of a singular feeling that caused his heart to beat and made his head dizzy and light headed.

Love.