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“We were both young when I first saw you…”
Karlie grinned as the opening verse of “Love Story” drifted through the house. She hummed along, arranging balls of dough onto a cookie sheet. It was the night of the iHeartRadio awards, and she was baking Taylor’s favorite Anne Burrell chocolate chip cookies as a surprise. She was a little bummed that she couldn’t be at the actual event to support her girlfriend, but she figured that fresh, warm cookies and a tight hug when Taylor got home was the next best thing, right?
As her first favorite song of Taylor’s played, Karlie’s mind wandered, remembering when she first saw the singer at the 2011 Met Gala. They really had been young then--just 18 and 21 years old. A nostalgic smile slipped onto Karlie’s face as she thought about how in awe she had been of the older girl’s talent and beauty and how much she had enjoyed their brief conversation. Those feelings were only compounded when she walked down the runway to Taylor singing “I Knew You Were Trouble” two years later, white confetti swirling all around them like they were dancing in a snow globe round and round. She was a goner from that very first day, and after a whirlwind year of gym dates, lunch outings, and cookie baking, friendship deepened into romance and Taylor asked Karlie to be her girlfriend the best way she knew how, with strums of a guitar accompanying her sweet angelic voice.
“...contenders for Album of the Year!”
The boom of the award show announcer’s voice talking about the biggest award Taylor was up for jolted her out of her reminiscing. Karlie gasped excitedly, shoving the cookies hastily into the oven and racing over to the sitting room. Her eyes were glued to the TV, breath held in anticipation as the host gave a rundown of each nominee.
“And the Album of the Year award goes to…” The announcer opened the envelope painstakingly slowly as Karlie’s leg jiggled up and down at an alarmingly fast pace. “ Taylor Swift !”
Karlie threw her arms up in the air and screamed along with the attendees’ cheers. She watched adoringly as her girl’s face bloomed into the expression of joy and delight she loved so much, hugging the people around her before ascending the stage. Karlie gave her full attention to Taylor’s speech, nodding and laughing along, but there was one particular line that jumped out at her:
“For the first time, I had the most amazing person to come home to when the spotlight went out...”
Taylor looked straight at the camera, and her bright blue eyes seemed to shine directly into Karlie’s green ones. The model’s lips slowly quirked upwards as she thought about all the ways they had constantly supported each other throughout last summer, despite the constant traveling on both their parts. All the surprise flower and chocolate deliveries and secret mushy notes hidden in each other’s apartments whenever the other came over and--
“So I want to thank my boyfriend Adam for that...”
Karlie’s stomach dropped, and her bright smile faded away as the camera panned to a shot of Calvin Harris, looking vaguely bored as usual. Against her will, a lump started to form in her throat. She suddenly felt the irrational urge to scream “ It wasn’t him! ” at the TV.
Because it wasn’t Calvin, the guy Taylor only saw to coordinate picture taking or joint event attendance as evidence for their relationship. Instead, it was Karlie she Skyped every night after a concert, talking a mile a minute about all the amazing fans she had met at Loft 89. Karlie’s arms she jumped into on the rare occasions when they happened to coordinate their schedules into getting a couple days alone together. And Karlie knew that those were the moments Taylor was probably referring to up on that stage. But was it so selfish to want her to acknowledge that out loud? To announce to the public that she was Karlie’s girlfriend, and proud of it?
A tear slipped down her cheek and she swiped at it angrily, hating that over a year later, this fake dating situation could still reduce her to a slightly over-emotional and pathetic version of herself. Meredith padded over and jumped into her lap, meowing and licking her hand. Then she caught sight of the TV and hissed at the image of Calvin on the screen.
Karlie burst out laughing. “Thanks, Mere. I know you always got my back.”
Shaking the errant thoughts out of her head, Karlie grabbed her laptop resolutely and opened the assignment she was working on for a compsci class. Coding would be a good distraction. It always was.
She became so immersed in Python turtle drawing that she only dimly registered the sound of the front door swinging open an hour and a half later, and she didn’t fully re-enter the real world until a flash of short blond hair blocked her view of the computer screen and an excited voice yelled, “I’M HOME! Oh my god, these cookies smell amazing!”
Looking up into familiar blue eyes, Karlie put on her brightest smile because, no matter her current emotions, she was still unendingly proud of Taylor--always had been, always would be. “Congrats on album of the year, babe! You deserve it so much and I’m so proud of you.”
She started to pull the singer into a hug, but Taylor leaned back, looking at her suspiciously. “What’s wrong?”
Shit. She knows me too well. “What? Why would anything be wrong?”
Taylor pointed at Karlie’s laptop, which was playing music out loud. “You’re listening to ‘Water Under The Bridge’ which you only do when you’re upset. Plus your eyes are kind of red.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Out with it, Kloss.”
Karlie sighed, looking down at her hands and fiddling with her ring. “Okay, I guess...it’s just that, when you said you were thanking Calvin for being the person you came home to” --she refused to call him Adam-- “I just...I don’t know.” She took a deep breath, and then the words came tumbling out. “I knew what I was getting into when I said I wanted to date you, and I know what the bearding entails. I really do. But it just never gets any easier every time I see pictures of you two walking hand in hand to dinner or seeing your Instagram posts about vacationing with him. Because...I want to be the one you’re doing those things with, ya know? I wish we could walk anywhere we damn well pleased while holding hands. Maybe even kiss in public. I wish I could shout out to the whole world that you’re my girlfriend--”
The model suddenly felt herself being engulfed in a hug. “Oh, Karlie...I’m so, so sorry.” Taylor’s voice sounded wobbly.
Karlie gave a little laugh, waving a hand in the air. “It’s okay, I know I’m just being silly--”
“No. You shouldn’t have to dismiss this.” Taylor’s eyes were bright with tears but also alight with a look of fierce determination. “Karlie Elizabeth Kloss. Do you have any idea how much you have changed my life for the better? I met you during what was probably one of the worst periods of my life. The media was ripping me apart for being a serial dating psychopathic chick, which I will admit my image kind of lent itself to” --Taylor wrinkled her nose wryly, rolling her eyes-- “but all those articles and comments were still so awful, many of which I of course stupidly and masochistically read. I was also coming off of my breakup with Dianna, which...well, you know how that was. I was honestly just going through the motions and doing my best to get through each day at one point. Then you burst into my life like the spectacular ball of sunshine you are at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Did you know that I felt happier that night than I had in months before that? And as we got to know each other, your passion, your kindness, your joy for life--Karlie, you almost singlehandedly pulled me out of one of the darkest times in my life. You were the breath of fresh air that I needed so, so much, and I can never thank you enough for that. I absolutely hate that this thing with Calvin is upsetting you so much, but I hope you’ll always remember that you are an incredible woman and incredible girlfriend, and you are so very, very important to me.”
By this point, tears were streaming down Karlie’s face. “I love you so much. These past two years have been some of the best of my life. All the hiding and sneaking around may be hard as hell sometimes, I’m not going to lie--but I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else but you, Taylor Alison Swift.” She grabbed a Kleenex, drying her eyes and blowing her nose. “And God, thanks for making me cry.”
Taylor laughed, putting her hands on Karlie’s shoulders and staring directly into her green eyes. “I love you more. You are the person I want to come home to, every day for the rest of my life.”
“The feeling’s mutual, Swift,” Karlie replied, both of them smiling as she leaned in for a kiss.