Chapter Text
Relief.
Joy.
Satisfaction.
The expected reaction from a theatre gazing upon the victory of the raven-haired boy. Not just against the Great Rabbit, not just against Roswaal Mathers, but against fate itself.
Of course, this particular theatre knew it wasn’t a stroke of luck, nor a miracle, nor divine intervention. It was solely Subaru’s wit, determination, and unbreakable will that led to this particular outcome, where none on his side had to die, and all his enemies, including the sloth archbishop and White Whale, were defeated with ridiculous efficiency.
They shall be allowed to enjoy these happy moments. Such times are rare and shall become increasingly scarce as we move forward.
“Especially since I’m here now...”
00000000000000000000000000
“Damn, Big Sis! I can’t believe you thought babies were made by kissing!” The blonde-haired former thief laughed loudly as her knight attempted to calm her down. Her target blushed in embarrassment, tightly clutching her own knight’s hand. The rest of the theatre joined in on the laughs, some—like Crusch or Wilhelm—being polite enough to hide it, while others—like Felt or Ricardo—not bothering at all and straight up hollering.
“But ya gotta admit, Cap’n was the manliest dang thin' no mattah what happened,” Garfiel commented. Nods of agreement joined his proclamation. No one would deny the coolness Subaru had exhibited throughout the entire viewing. Many would have expected a normal man to break under the harsh circumstances he was put through, but it seemed Subaru was simply built differently.
In one of the corners, Petra pinched the older maid's dress to get her attention. "Do you think this is the end of this?" She asked. Her question was one that rested at the back of many of the cast's minds. There was an assurance that this was most likely the last of these viewings, but none could guess the Warden's next move.
"We'll have to find out... But I'm quite certain there isn't much past this. Nothing of significant note had occurred even in the year before the camp headed for Priestella." The blonde-haired maid assured her junior with a small pat on the head, causing her to smile.
At the same time, Anastasia quietly discussed with her own camp the situation with Subaru's status. As someone from beyond the waterfall, it was obvious that he had knowledge of creations and contraptions that would sell for a lot of profit with the right marketing in their world. "I ain't sayin' we grab 'em and run. We just need an alliance with the Emilia camp that gives both of us huge profits."
Julius nodded. Of course he agreed with his lady. Ricardo seemed not to have much of a comment on this, which was pretty much an agreement. The triplets had no objection, hence their plan to dry Subaru of-No... work with Subaru for a grand alliance, where both parties advantage, was formed.
"I suppose it is obvious that we have overlooked many of Subaru-dono's sacrifices thus far," Wilhelm commented, speaking with his own camp. Felix looked down in shame, while Crusch looked upwards in thought.
"In that case, it is truly fortunate that we managed to score an alliance with his camp so quickly. If anything, we will be able to provide support if necessary." The green-haired duchess spoke, "Who knows what challenges we may face moving forward, and it is almost certain that Subaru will attract trouble and attention in the worst ways."
Wilhelm and Ferris nodded.
Far back at the edge of the theatre, Roswaal was settled on the floor, having wrapped his arms around his knees, muttering to himself with every inch of his face covered in some sort of bruise or injury. Both his eyes were purple, a clear contrast to the makeup he put on normally, although most of the cast had agreed he looked better than before with his face swollen and full of cuts and marks.
"If this is the end of these pathetic viewings, then mine divine being would prefer to return to my mansion. Aldebaran, rub my feet..." It wouldn't take a genius to figure out whose banter this was.
"Yes, princess..."
"This wretched existence calling itself a Warden has been graced for long enough with mine attention." She continued, much to the rest of the theatre's annoyance, "As for the sleeping dog over there," She gazed with scornful eyes at the sleeping figure of Subaru in the front seats, "It has since-long been proven that your pitiful excuse for a camp is unfit to keep that urchin under your care, hence this divine princess shall have him accompany her on the return."
Emilia and Rem instantly got up to argue, but were interrupted by a disturbance from the screen that grabbed everyone's attention.
*ZZZZZKRSHKRSH*
Suddenly, the screen that displayed the events happening till now flickered to life once again. The cast had not had a break since the last episode, where Subaru danced with the half-elf, almost like the picture-perfect description of a happy ending. It was a haze of black and white, running around with no clear image.
"What's happening?"
"Is the Warden back?"
The screen suddenly showed a picture for a brief four seconds.
Then it went black.
"..."
"BAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAAAAHA!!!!!" Garfiel clutched his stomach as he fell to the floor, roaring with laughter.
"What was that?!" Anastasia asked, painfully suppressing the urge to do the same as the blonde demihuman. Julius maintained his composure, instead closing his eyes and trying to remove any disrespect or amusement he felt towards a throne candidate due to the picture.
Ahhh Shit... Aldebaran prepared himself. His lady was beside him, shaking with, obviously, anger, but he dared not look her in the face.
"Garfiel c-calm, heh heh, down," Otto tried to stop him but gave up soon after, unable to remove the image from his memory.
"My lady, please control yourself." Reinhard tried his hardest to keep Felt in check, but the blonde throne candidate managed to escape his grasp somehow and howled with laughter very close to the target. Reinhard himself found his lips curling upwards.
The dignified folk like Emilia, Rem, Ram, Crusch, and Wilhelm kept themselves limited to snickers. Emilia and Rem even sat back down again, having already forgotten their reason for getting up, focusing more on not becoming like the rest of the theatre.
"Betty approves, I suppose."
The entire room was filled with unrestrained cackling from each of the camps, ranging from quiet chuckles to mad fits of laughter, at the lead of which were none other than Garfiel and Felt, who kept laughing even when everyone else found the sense to finally stop.
*Shing*
In Priscilla's hand was the Yang Sword, drawn from thin air, and covered with flames that accurately represented her state of mind. She threw it back to aim a wave of flames towards the tigerman at the front, until...
Whew. Why couldn't anyone leave instructions for this place?
Her flames disappeared as soon as they erupted, alongside her sword. The theatre now heard the sound of what was presumably the Warden, but with a voice distinctly different from what they remembered
"What is the meaning of this, you ungrateful, disrespectful, pathetic excuse for a source of entertainment!?" Priscilla shouted. Aldebaran meekly shifted over his seat to gain some distance. As expected, the sun princess' boot hit the exact place his head had been a few seconds ago.
"Indeed," Crusch added, "This particular viewing had rather little taste to it."
Most others agreed with Crusch's words, but didn't argue with the fact that it was a good laugh nonetheless.
Ahh, sorry. That was a mistake. Still trying to get the hang of this thing.
"And what might that mean?" Anastasia inquired.
"Yeah, and your voice is different too." Mimi pointed out.
"Can we go home now?"
"Are we done here?"
"You have yet to answer me, filthy peasant! Where in Od's name did a disgrace like yourself get its hands on an image like that?!"
Ladies and Gentlemen, please relax. No, you are not going anywhere, and Priscilla... I guess you can say that picture was fake.
Many individuals seemed to deflate at that. Some were frightened by the thought that they might never leave. Priscilla finally seemed to calm down somewhat, seating herself down once more, and covering her face with her fan.
"Aldebaran, rub my feet. This ridiculous farce has left them sore.":
"Y-yes, princess."
As for my voice. Simply put, I am not the Warden you are familiar with.
Many brows were raised.
"What happened to the original?" Julius asked, his shoulders tensing.
"And why are you still holding us hostage?" Felt piped up. Reinhard seconded her: "I believe there is nothing else of note to show us, unless you hope to reveal even more of Subaru's camps' private secrets."
The Emilia camp visibly shuddered, hoping to any God out there that there wasn't anything they missed in the year since these events unfolded. Their secrets aside, no one could bear to see a reality where Subaru would suffer right under their noses.
"Subaru hasn't..." Petra whimpered as Frederica patted her softly, "... Right?"
You've been shown everything important. Subaru hasn't died a single time after the fourth arc till now.
The cast exhaled breaths of relief, none more so than members of the Emilia camp.
"Oh, thank goodness..." Emilia put a hand to her chest while tightly clutching her knight's arm with the other. Rem did the same on the other side, while Beatrice sat on Subaru's lap with a smug smile on her face.
"Of course. How could you expect Betty's contractor to be in danger after contracting with me, I suppose?"
Unbeknownst to the rest of the theatre, Ram also breathed a sigh of relief, situating herself farther from Roswaal than before. She had been the only one who abstained from the collective event where everyone beat the shit out of that sorry clown for the pure purpose of amusing themselves and venting their frustrations and anger.
Even Priscilla had taken it upon herself to drive her heel into his cheek, before quickly having Aldebaran lick it off.
"So why can't nwe leave then, nya?" Ferris finally asked. The cast returned their attention to the new Warden.
Well, I don't have the authority to free you for now. I only came here 'cause I wanted to show you some things.
"What else could there be for us to watch, I wonder?" Beatrice asked, "If Subaru hasn't died in the year since, then everything that happened should be as we remember it."
When putting the words died and Subaru in the same sentence, none could help but feel an inexplicable chill run down their spines. They had already witnessed too much to forget.
You should understand that guys like me or your last Warden aren't the only ones with the ability to alter reality to the extent you see.
"I-I suppose..." Beatrice faltered. Everyone else shuddered in fear. Accepting something like this wasn't difficult. It was the fact that they didn't even know before all this had happened. Beings that can strip you of divine protections, directly challenge authorities, or just play with space and time like an everyday toy.
So, countless others simply choose to watch you from afar, not wanting to go through the hassle of interacting directly with you like me.
"Excuse me?!" Crusch stood up, "Do you mean to say that our lives are nothing more than entertainment for beings like you?! Nothing more than characters in a story you find amusement in reading?"
"Oi, Otto-bro," Garfiel whispered, "What the hell's he sayin'?"
The grey-haired merchant shook his head, "It's best if we don't think too hard on this, Garf."
"Though this divine being finds it distasteful that you choose to hide yourselves, I shall admit it pleases me to know you go to such lengths to gaze upon mine divine glory."
Aldebaran shuffled in place. He would have commented on how this meant they had no privacy, but he wasn't about to take his chances so soon.
"This is quite the conundrum..." Emilia spoke quietly. Though her words didn't convey it, she felt scared of what this Warden's words meant. Her gaze then landed on Rem, who was clinging to Subaru's arm as if nothing else existed.
"As long as my hero is with me, I don't care what happens..."
Emilia smiled. She agreed.
In any case, this isn't the time to be getting too emotional. Many others like me also create images of people in your world, expressing their own thoughts on your reality.
"Like the one you showed us just now?" Felt asked, giggling into her hand, eliciting a similar response from a few others. Reinhard sighed. Priscilla didn't react, surprising as it was.
Exactly. Though I admitted that the picture was fake. I won't be telling you whether the images I show from now on are as such or not.
"B-but... What is the purpose of this viewing?" Emilia squeaked, "Will we gain any insights into our world through what you show us?"
"Yeah, and when can we go home? When's the previous Warden showing up?" Tivey Pearlbaton shouted.
"I would prefer not to waste any more time if this is nothing more than for entertainment." Julius intoned, his voice heavy.
I already said I don't have the authority to free you. You're gonna have to wait for the last Warden to come back.
"And how long's that gonna take?" Asked Anastasia. Her patience was wearing thin, though she didn't show it. She wanted to get started on her business plans as quickly as possible.
He's on hiatus.
Confused looks were passed on throughout the cast. No one but Aldebaran understood the figure of speech.
"Like he's stuck somewhere, or..." Crusch asked, her lack of clarity visible.
Al, explain what I meant while I go set up these images.
Instantly, all eyes were fixed on the one-armed knight sitting beside Priscilla.
He sighed as he looked at them through his helmet, but right as he was about to speak-
*Clang*
"Did I permit you to answer these ignorant fools, Aldebaran?" The Sun-Princess spoke with authority as the hilt of her fan landed heavily on the side of Aldebaran's helmet.
"Ouch... No."
"Hmph! Then you would find it in this fair maiden's best interests to explain that incompetent being's words clearly to mine divine self before the rest of these desperate whelps."
"Uhh, right... Sorry." He flashed a look at the rest of the theatre, who understood the unspoken apology as he whispered to Priscilla.
"Umu... I see... So this word is used to describe a sort of abstention from one's duty. How fitting, to use such a word for that good-for-nothing deadbeat who continues to waste mine precious time."
The rest of the cast heard her words clearly, wondering how someone could just pick them up from their world, show them horrifying viewings of someone they held dear to them, and then bail out without so much as a warning or return ticket.
Right, so, uhhh, be prepared. Some of these images are ones even I find disturbing.
"Then why show us?" Crusch asked.
"Indeed," Beatrice added, "If I see you mocking my contractor in any way, you will be sorry, I suppose."
"Wait, what about us?" The yellow-haired beastman asked. Beatrice huffed in response.
Well, these images aren't really dependent solely on my decisions. It's something like a collective agreement from seven thousand other individuals.
In any case, we're about to start, and no, I will not be stopping to let you breathe.
Now that was something no one found amusing.
*KRSHKRSHSHSSSSHHH*
The screen flickered to life, flashing past thousands of colorful images. Some had words intermingled at random points all around, while others were incredibly detailed pictures of various members of the different camps.
Then it finally settled on one.
Dumbstruck. Probably the only fitting word to describe the cast's situation at that moment.
Then Emilia started giggling, "What, haha, what happened to Puck here?"
"BUBBY?!?" It took a moment for Beatrice to collect her bearings.
The laughter caught on, and within seconds, the entire theatre began snickering. Other than Aldebaran, everyone was confused by the way this image was portrayed, but something about it just made them chortle.
"Is that Subaru? His nose bleeding?" Julius pointed out. He was one of the few people who maintained the sense to realize that this was basically an insult to a great Spirit. But, because of this, everyone focused on the figure of Subaru behind the large-breasted Puck, holding a broom and bleeding from his nose as he glanced at the spirit.
"BAHAHAHAHA!!" Otto and Garfiel, being the brothers that they were, howled like there was no tomorrow. Seeing their brother portrayed in such a fashion was not only funny, but pretty much accurately described what Subaru was most quickly.
"Pervert..." Ram breathed. Many heard her, and the Anastasia camp laughed even harder after this.
"Aww, c'mon, give the guy a break, little missy," Ricardo spoke between his chuckles, "And besides, this one is definitely fake..."
The majority agreed. This picture could be nothing but fake.
"I see this Warden species seems to take amusement in giving non-human entities very large chests," Crusch spoke. She maintained her dignity, but found it hard not to smile, "Though it is intriguing to see they actually waste time on such useless amenities."
Rem was pouting beside Subaru, "You even had to go for Emilia-sama's father?"
"So, umm..." Felt spoke, drying a tear from one of her eyes.
"My lady, is anything bothering you?" Reinhard, without his divine protection, couldn't really tell what her emotional state was and quickly assumed the tears meant she was upset.
"Get away from me," She pushed him away, "What do those numbers and things below it mean?"
Aldebaran was, once again, the target of their attention. He sighed as he looked at the princess. Priscilla herself hadn't smiled at all, hiding her face behind the fan and giving him a simple nod.
"Mine divine self finds no amusement in this farce of a viewing."
Aldebaran scratched the back of his neck, "Right, so I'm not too well versed with the currency shown there. I think that sign before the number means 'dollar'. And you could say a million would be enough for a family to live off of for... thirteen? maybe fourteen years."
Anastasia nodded her head rapidly, taking note of the currency from Subaru's world.
"Hmm, Betty's contractor only told her about a currency called 'yen', I suppose."
"Disregarding the absolute humour in this image, I believe this is a rather stupid question to-" Crusch spoke but was interrupted by Anastasia.
"I agree! Who would pass off an offer a lifetime like this?! Who would mind such a low chance of becoming a cat demihuman if there's such a good chance to get so much money?"
The triplets let out a hearty yaaaaaaaaaay! in response.
Crusch tried raising a finger before quickly dropping it. That's not what I... Never mind.
"Speak fer yerself," Garfield spat, "Half the people here are guys..."
The merchant candidate giggled, "Well, I was speaking for myself mostly."
*KRSHKRSHSHSHS*
The screen went black and white once again before showing another image.
It took the cast a while to read, and then...
...
...
Even longer to comprehend what was written, and...
...
...
Even longer to figure out how they should react...
...
Rem's face was now indistinguishable from a tomato.
"I-no-I... I-uhh-uhmm-I-no," Her ears were now the upgraded version of a steam engine.
"Uhhh... Rem-san...?" Felt was quite probably the only one with the guts (or ignorance) to ask directly.
Reinhard quickly put his hands over her eyes, thinking he could still salvage what little remained of her innocence, "Apologies, my lady."
"Oi! Rein, stop it! I'm not a little kid! I know about these fucking things!"
"I n-n-n-n-n-n-n-never did this!! I swear!"
More than amused, the other camps were either bamboozled, disgusted, or just plain angry, like the pink-haired oni.
Some had the idea to actually take the image in a funny manner, tittering to themselves in secret.
"Remove this travesty at once!" Ram shouted, getting to her feet. No one dared argue with her, mostly opting not to even look at the screen while it displayed such a version of her sister.
Sorry. The image stays for as long as I say.
"WHY YOU!!!!"
Emilia simply stared. First at the image on the screen, before blushing and looking at Rem, then at Subaru's sleeping figure, then back at the image, then noticing that Rem was gone, then back at the image, then back at Subaru...
"Filthy wench! How dare you put my contractor in such a bad light, I suppose?! Beatrice shouted after Rem, who could barely hear her over the noise in the back.
"Oi Otto-bro, tell me mine amazing selfs ain't the only one thinkin' Rem woulda done something like this..." Garfiel quietly whispered to his brother.
Otto looked fearfully at the fuming figure of Ram as she strode through the theatre, commanding everyone to close their eyes or look the other way, while Rem pleaded with her sister to stop since the picture wasn't even true.
"After seeing all the previous arcs... You aren't Garf..."
Something clicked with Wilhelm as he thought about these various pictures, "My liege..." He called to Crusch, "What if this device shows such unthinkable actions on the side of the other camps?"
Crusch looked straight ahead-er-straight to her side as Ram walked past her, "The first two images were undoubtedly fake, and this third one shares that certainty. Who would say that the upcoming ones will hold any weight to themselves, even if they show something similar to this?"
Wilhelm nodded. Felix sat quietly on the side, his head full of anxiety as he considered Wilhelm's words. If they know everything about our world, then...
His ears turned slightly red.
"Such a disgrace you make yourself out to be," Priscilla articulated, "Even if this image holds no truth, none can deny you have thought of doing this with the dog." She hid behind her fan as she scoffed. Aldebaran shifted uncomfortably under Ram's gaze beside her.
"I'm not looking, my eyes are close-aargh!"
"I don't trust a word you say. If you are from the same place as Barusu, then you would be equally as perverted." Ram yanked on his helmet, attempting to twist it and block his vision completely.
"Ram-san, please, none o' us thinks your sister would ever do somethin' like this," Anastasia tried to calm her down, surprised that Emilia hadn't said anything. Roswaal had made himself useless since the end of arc 4.
"Of course! I have accepted that my sweet sister may have allowed herself to fall for Barusu, but even she wouldn't bring herself to such a level!"
Up ahead, Emilia, finally coming back to her senses after hearing Ram, turned her attention to the blue-haired maid. Rem had just seated herself nervously after attempting to speak to her sister.
"Rem..." Emilia whispered heavily, a shadow encasing her head.
"Eeep! S-s-s-sorry, Emilia-sama! Wait, why am I apologizing?! No! Never mind, I'll still apologise! I'm sorry, Emilia-sama!
"Rem..." She locked eyes with her, staring into her depths with a sharp glare that sent shivers down her spine.
"Y-yes...?"
"Don't think... That you are the only one who wants to be this close to Subaru."
"..."
"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?!?!?!?!?!?!"
*KRSHKRSHSHSH*
Finally... The pink-haired maid relaxed in her seat.
..................................................................................................
..................
......
.....
The quietest member of the cast now stared at the screen with more focus than he had stared at anything in his life.
"TEACHEEEEEEEEEEEER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"