Chapter Text
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[Grian]
Statement of…is this really his name? Surely this can’t…oh, whatever.
Statement of Technoblade, last name not given, regarding mysterious voices. Original interview transcribed January 3, 2018. Statement recorded October 21st, 2024.
Statement begins.
[Grian- Statement]
Hi. So, before I actually start telling you anything, I wanted to set one thing straight: I’m not insane. Well, maybe I’m a little insane. But not in the “can’t tell reality apart from my own brain” kind of way. And I don’t have any family history of this sort of thing either. I Know, even after everything you’ve seen, and even after what you yourself went through, you’re still skeptical. But you’re just going to have to believe me on this one, okay?
Cool. So this whole thing actually started four years ago, but I figured you had to at least be eighteen to come here by yourself, and, c’mon. Who’s actually going to believe a kid that dyed his hair bubblegum pink just to spite his friend is actually telling the truth?
But I am telling the truth, whether you believe me or not. It’s just unfortunate that only I seem to be able to hear Them.
Who’s Them, I hear you ask? If I’m being honest, I don’t know. Maybe They’re demons, maybe They’re angels, or maybe I really am crazy. I don’t know, and I don’t really care, but They’re here now, so I came to you guys.
The long and short of it is, I hear voices.
I know your first reaction is to think I’m schizophrenic, or that I‘m experiencing a case of paracusia, but I’m pretty sure if They were just in my head, then I wouldn’t be alive to write this.
Okay, so the first time I heard one of Them speak was in early January. I’ve always had a fascination with the ice, and winter as a whole, so naturally I took to ice skating like a fish takes to water. I would spend hours out on the small lake near my house, enjoying the glide of my skates and the nip of the air as it rushed past me. This year was no exception, and, lucky for me, it was early enough in the morning that no one else was around.
I laced up my skates, steadied myself, then began my dance across the ice.
I twirled and weaved and twisted to my heart’s content, building up my confidence, before I decided, what the heck, I’ll do a quintuple axel.
Now, I’m sure you prestigious institute people are aware that nobody’s ever landed one of those in an official competition ever, but in case you weren’t, let me sum it up for you: it’s borderline impossible.
You have to jump really high in the air, do five and a half spins, then land backwards on one skate. I probably shouldn’t have been doing it without someone nearby, to be honest, ‘cause I could’ve easily fallen and broken something. But I was bored, and I never did—and still never do—back down from a challenge, self-imposed or otherwise.
So I circled the edges of the lake a few times, building speed, before I turned and began to race down the middle. I was bracing myself for the jump when something yelled in my ear. ‘WATCH OUT!’ The voice practically screeched, and I swerved so hard that I tripped and went skidding across the ice, momentum carrying me all the way to the fresh snow at the edge.
I groaned, standing up and checking myself for injuries. Thankfully I hadn’t hit my head, or broken any bones. I was just a little sore, and very confused, and semi-ticked. I did a full 360 of the lake, searching for any sign of someone that could’ve made the sound, but there was no one around, at least from what I could see.
I thought it was weird, yes, but I figured I’d just mistook a bird call for the noise or something. But what was really weird about it was when I turned back to the lake, and noticed that the ice had fallen through in the center, right where I was going to do the jump. Not wanting to tempt whatever angry ice gods I had just brushed with, I decided I had had enough skating for the day.
The next time I heard Them was about three weeks later, when I was relaxing under this huge oak tree we have in our backyard. It’s great for leaning against, but not so much for climbing, especially since I got stuck up there as a kid…
But that’s besides the point.
The point is that I was minding my own business, bundled up in my coat and reading my copy of The Art of War, when the sounds of whispers reached my ears.
At first I figured my siblings were having some sort of “secret” conversation very badly, so I turned to see if I could spot them. But, just like at the lake, there was no one around except for me.
The whispers came again, and although the urge to call out into the not-so-silent-silence was there, I fought it off in favor of a different approach. I closed my book, sat really still, shut my eyes…and I listened.
It was hard to hear Them at first. I had to strain my ears, and even then I could only make out a few words at a time. I could tell They were talking about me though. I heard my name mentioned more than once, and the word ‘pink’, which obviously refers to my hair.
They also mentioned ‘potatoes’ a few times. I know that probably seems random to you, but when They said it I kinda did a double take. I won’t go into details, but basically they’re alluding to a competition of sorts, between me and a close friend. The thing is, he and I never told anyone about it, let alone what I could only assume was quite a few people. It set me on edge, knowing that this whole time They must have been following me around—that They had been watching me.
Eventually They must have noticed that I was up to something, because They muttered something about “ears”, and switched to a language I didn’t understand. I was annoyed, yes, but it wasn’t like there was anything I could do about it, so I decided to suck it up and go back to enjoying my book.
But then it started happening not just every so often, but every day.
Every morning the sound of the voices woke me up, and every night I would fall asleep to the quiet buzz of Their chatter. And every time I tried to make any semblance of a word out, They would switch to that other language, leaving me in the dark, and full of unanswered questions.
I didn’t appreciate that, so after a month of the same infuriating wash, rinse, repeat cycle, I did what any rational voice-hearing person would do:
I yelled at Them.
I told Them that They were being extremely rude, that if someone was stalking me I had the right to at least know what They were saying about me, and that if They continued to be all secretive, then They were just a bunch of lowlife cowards.
Yeah, I know. Maybe not the smartest thing to say to a bunch of seemingly omniscient beings that had most likely saved my life. But, what can I say? I was fourteen, so the whole intelligence thing hadn’t really kicked in yet.
I heard the world go silent—dead silent—for the first time in a long time. But it wasn’t a peaceful silence. It was that uneasy sort of quiet, the kind you get when you’re anticipating something to happen, but you’re not sure if it'll be good or bad. I was ninety-nine percent sure it was going to be bad, and that the voices were going to come rushing back all of a sudden, except this time They were going to be so loud that my head would explode.
Instead…They laughed.
They laughed for a long, long time—long enough that I was starting to wonder if that was my punishment—until the laughter died down, and I heard one of Them clear Their throat.
‘You’re a feisty one, aren’t you? You wish to Listen. You have a desire to Know. We shall teach you then.’ That’s what They said to me. I’m still…I’m still not sure what it meant, but ever since then, They’ve been loud enough for me to hear, usually in a language I can understand, and They’ve talked to me instead of just about me.
And, trust me, They haven’t been shy about sharing Their input on anything and everything I do.
Honestly though, I don’t think I’d have it any other way. Sure, They can be annoying at times, and kinda bloodthirsty when I stream PvP games, but They also share interesting insights and knowledge—sometimes even stuff that hasn’t happened yet—and They keep me company when I’m bored.
Although right now, They’re actually making quite a fuss, and I’m not really sure why…
Heh?
Oh. They’re saying it again.
You see, there’s this name They mention a lot. At least, I think it’s a name? They’ve actually been trying to teach me Their language, but I’m not that great at it yet.
Here, let me just write it down…
There. I don’t know what it actually means, but that’s how They said you would spell it. I guess that’s your area of expertise though, isn’t it?
Well, thanks for letting me scribble this down, and good luck with the translation.
Oh, and while you’re at it, maybe you could consider subscribing to the Blood God?
I’m not the best at gaming, but I do have hot elbows.
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[Grian]
Well, it’s certainly safe to say that this statement is as…interesting as it is unprofessional, to say the least.
Technoblade is, in fact, a real person. He’s a professional streamer that goes under the alias “Blood God”, and he has a decent following online. He has never publicly mentioned anything to do with ‘voices’, but his fans have noted that he has a habit of occasionally trailing off or pausing, as if he’s listening to something.
My initial reaction would have been to dismiss this statement as auditory illusions, as those kinds of cases happen more often than people realize, and his behavior on stream could easily just be a response to them…but…
The note at the beginning, talking to…someone about a past experience, and the fact that he capitalizes several words multiple times throughout...
I don’t know. It just feels like it might carry some weight to it.
In the case of the symbols, there are six of them arranged to form what I presume is a word of some sort. I’ve had Mumbo run it through a few translation dictionaries and websites, and so far he hasn’t been able to find a match, so there’s a good chance this is either a language that isn’t widely known, or one that’s completely fictional.
(Pauses)
You know…it’s weird, but I feel like I’ve seen symbols like these somewhere before.
Huh.
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