Chapter Text
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[Grian]
Okay, so Impulse somehow managed to dig up a box of these old cassette tapes from the artifact storage, and asked me if I wanted them moved to the archives instead. I told him I wasn’t sure, because they have a weird shimmer to them, and they almost look like they’re writhing. Now, obviously it’s just some sort of optical illusion with the way the lights are hitting them, but for Impulse’s sake I decided it would be best for us to ask Exeyesooma. He told us to keep the originals in storage, but also to re-record them onto new tapes, so that the archives has a copy as well, so that’s what I’m doing now.
So this is a pseudo-statement? The audio quality is pretty spotty in places, so there’s a lot of distortion—sorry future listeners—which means I’m not entirely sure who gave it. I think it starts with a Z? The box these were in has been down in storage since the seventies, but for all we know they could have been recorded decades before then, so no one really knows exactly how old they are.
Anyway, that’s all I have to say. Statement begins.
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Alrighty! It looks like I can begin!
This tape is a recorded investigation of mine into what I’ve decided to call the Rift Room. Or maybe the Prose Passage? The Diction Door? I’m still workshopping the name, but I think I’m getting somewhere. Or at least, I hope! (Laughs) Oh! And I, of course, am Dr. Z̴ǝ̷p̶ɐ̵d̸ɥ̵ ̸ԁ̷l̵ɐ̸ʎ̸s̶, for the scientific record.
Now, since I’m probably going to listen back for reference, and because we’re approaching this professionally and scientifically, I guess I should explain what prompted this recording.
Just now, I was sweeping the laboratory, when I came across a strange little…structure built into the wall, right at the baseboard. It looks—as the workshopped names suggest—like some sort of miniature door.
There aren’t any little animals that someone could reasonably—assuming they even managed to sneak into my lab without me knowing—have made this for, since we don’t even have lab rats or mice or guinea pigs here. And even if we did, they wouldn’t be able to access it, as the entire area has to be kept extremely sterile, so as not to contaminate any samples or experiments. Trust me, I know, because if I could bring Ariel—she’s my sheep—here, I would. Additionally, the door has a tiny doorknob, implying that it’s meant to be pulled open by a hand with opposable thumbs, further solidifying the idea that it is meant for human use.
Initial qualitative observations are as follows:
When I measure it, it’s five and a half centimeters wide, and nine centimeters tall, and appears to be made of fiberglass. It’s unlocked, and when I shine a flashlight into it, I can see for approximately two meters by my own estimation, before the beam vanishes into darkness. A̵̧̘̬͇̹͎̎͛̽̋̑́ņ̶͐͗̃̈́̕͝ḑ̶̗̙͓͓͖̆͊̈́ͅ ̶̙͠i̴͕̽̑́̀̽ț̷̟̝͐̅͑’̴̨͕͉̦͓̔̇̿̑̿͂̉ṣ̴̎́̉̓́͂̀ ̶̣̯̊̌̅̃̾b̵̮̰̪͎͔͓̾̈̓̿͐͝ȇ̸͇̙͆͗͘a̷͎̘̖̭̔̈́̔͗͗̋͠ͅư̶̡͙͊̀̇t̷̜̙͎̻̼̀͊̂̊̚͝͝i̵̲̖̤̍̀̐͗̀f̴̡̪̮̭̜̾̈́̒̚u̸͍͋l̵͈̭̱̩͍͓͕̀̍̀͗͋.̷̨̹̃̓̊ɐ̴͉̌͋̚ȕ̴̥̈͑̉̂̕p̸̨͕͇̜̠̹̰̌ ̸̡̪̣͖̦̺͙͒̓̓̇̋̑̀i̵͙̳͎̞̾̒̀͋̽͜ ̷̧͇͍̩̝̤̈́͂͂̽̂͠͝ʍ̸̝̳̠̾ɐ̶̡̥͚̺͂́͘ǘ̶̹̰̖̥̃̄̆͘͠͝ʇ̵̗̖̠̜̻̇͑̀̐̂̚ ̴̻̖̹̄̓͆́̉͝ᴉ̸̤̰̇͒̇͐͌͝ʇ̶̫̗̼̎̐͒͐ ̴̛̞̪̬̦͛̃̈́̋̽͠ɐ̵̹̥̖̪̏̀͊u̵̦͠p̷̬̼͑ͅ ̷̨̡͈͉̣̤͒͒́̓͝i̶͇̲̤̹̇͊̋̉͘͝ ̴̬̬̱̈́̄̊̚u̶͈̥̹͑̃̎̉͛͠ǝ̷̧̻͎̩̃̈́͂̾̆͒͝ǝ̴̦̋͒p̴̨͖̐͌͂͒̓ ̴̢̧̦̣̐͆͗͋̿͠ᴉ̵̩͓̮̆̓̓͛͘ʇ̶̧̖̹̠̄͌̂͑͋͋.̷̨̹̃̓̊
When I lie flat on my stomach, I am able to stick my arm through the entryway up to the shoulder, and although the building plans I requested suggest that there should only be roughly a half a meter’s wall space between my lab and the one beside it, I am unable to find anything other than empty space with my fingers, which suggests that the area behind the door is much larger than it should be.
Oh. And there’s something else, too.
If you were paying attention, you probably noticed that each name I came up with had some sort of word relating to communication at the beginning. This is due to the fact that sitting directly in front of the door is a slip of paper, about the size of the ones you get from fortune cookies. The paper, however, is not purely white. Instead, it shimmers with flecks of hidden color, almost like an opal. The black text printed on it has the same effect to it, and reads, “Hello Doctor.” Ḯ̸̜̹̲̓ʇ̵̲͖̖͉͖̞̒̀́̋ ̶̢̙̠͑̿̌̃͝ʞ̵̜̗͎͙͈̌̐̇̆́ų̶͈̖̬̙͚͂͒̏̓́͠o̶̡̝̹̪̙̅̅͐̓̑̕ʍ̵̧͙̱͕̼̀̈́͝ś̴̖̭̱̜̹̀̓̕͜ ̵͇͚̉̋͂̊̐͠ɯ̸̧̰͖͓̆́ǝ̵͈̻̈́̍̍̕ͅ.̴̗̞̹̞̓͘͜͠
While I haven’t yet reached any conclusions, this evidence strongly suggests a genuine spatial anomaly! And if the note is anything to go by, perhaps one with some form of sentient beings! It’s now—goodness—it’s late! I guess I lost track of time! Tomorrow I’ll begin experimentation.
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Tape two, day one of proper experimentation! This is extremely exciting!
I decided to use a few ball bearings I had lying around from past experiments to see just how large the cavity behind the door was. When I dropped the first bearing through the door, it rolled for one minute and twenty two seconds before I stopped being able to hear it entirely. I noted this down, and was about to try the experiment again, when I noticed something fascinating.
There was another slip of paper sitting where the first one had been. The text on it reads, “Use the lens to c̸a̷p̶t̷u̵r̵e̶ ̸y̸o̷u̶r̴ ̷f̶r̵i̷e̵n̸d̸s̶.” Initially, I wasn’t entirely sure what it meant, but I’m starting to wonder if it has something to do with the camera I own—the “Zedcam” as I like to call it. It has a lens, obviously, and it captures pictures. As for the friends it mentions, I’m assuming my colleagues are those in question. On that note, I’ve decided to spend the next hour or so snapping a few photos of a few of them, and observing what happens when I drop the camera through the doorway. Now, I’m sure if I asked they’d be completely fine with getting their pictures taken. However, on the off chance that they refuse, or start to question what it’s for…
I just feel it would be best that Ḯ̸͍ ̸̼̔k̸̼̚ḛ̸͑p̶͎͋t̴͈͊ ̷̪̈́ṯ̸̌ḫ̶̐ì̴̼s̵͎̅ ̴̘̐ɐ̷̧̇ ̵̻̋s̴̪͊ǝ̷̺͐ɔ̴̦̈́ɹ̴͕̅ǝ̴̰̈́ʇ̸̜̽.
Before I end this tape, I would also like to note that when I borrowed a thirty-nine and a half foot measuring tape from one of my lab neighbors—yes, he made it that long on purpose—and ran it through the door, I was still unable to reach any sort of wall or other structure.
My conclusion is that the room behind it must be very large indeed.
I’m going to get to work on the photos now, and I’ll update you on my findings tomorrow.
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I̷̗̿t̵̤͓͕͎͋̈́͑ ̶̳̮̈́͋i̴͔̰̤͗ş̴̪̈́ ̵̲̭̺̒́̂͒ͅh̴͙̉̐ṷ̸̡̼̔͝n̴̹̥͊ͅͅg̸͓͙͓̓̄ŗ̵̡̖͎̉̋̃ȳ̴̧̻ ̴̱̱̑͑ș̸̞͇̆̋̉ͅő̷̱͔̚͜͝ ̴̧͕̳̏̀̏̂h̶̙̳̜͒͆͝u̵̡͈̚͝ń̸͈̂̿͝g̵͔̠̾̑͌̆r̶̖̈͐̒̂ȳ̴̱̪̖̥͝ ̵̫̗͚͝ǎ̴̜͚̻n̴͖̯̓͌͝d̸͕͔̾́ͅ ʇ̵̮̗̹͎̌̈͑͌ɥ̷̨͎̤̠̒̇ǝ̴̩̯̐̋͗͜ʎ̸̡̫̤̮̌͌́̏ ̴̪̳̼̹̀̔͋ɐ̷̙̜͋̾̈́͠ɹ̶̭̗̩͉̊̓͗͘ǝ̷̟̑̏͠ ̵̛͈̖̻̠̾̄́ɐ̷͕̤̈́̊͝ɟ̷͍̖̒̎ɹ̶̤̙͑̊͛ɐ̷͇̰̣̃̅͝ᴉ̴̘̭͝͝͠p̸̟̬̹̆͗.
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Tape number three! Results of camera experiment!
Another paper has appeared in front of the door, which has grown significantly larger. Measurements reveal that it has exactly tripled in size! The new paper is proportionally larger as well, and has yet another task written on it. Which begs the question: does the number of tasks completed correlate to the size of the door?
Further investigation is required!
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Tape three and a half.
I just realized, I forgot to mention something odd that happened this morning. All of us in the labs were told to pause in our testing—which has never happened before—and the building supervisors took us to a small office. They had us line up, and enter when it was our turn.
There was a police officer sitting at one of those foldable tables, with a singular chair across from him. He asked me about a few of my coworkers that hadn’t come in this morning—coincidentally the same coworkers i̶n̵ ̶m̸y̶ ̶p̵h̴o̴t̸o̵s̵. I told him that I came into work like normal, and that I hadn’t seen them today. I didn’t…I didn't tell him about the photos, or the door. It’s not like I’m trying to keep any secrets or anything, but it just didn’t seem relevant to bring up. I mean, i̸t̶’̷s̴ ̴n̵o̴t̴ ̶l̵i̸k̴e̶ ̵i̶t̵’̸s̵ ̷ɥ̸n̵ɹ̴ʇ̵ᴉ̴u̴ɓ̵ ̷a̷n̷y̵t̶h̵i̸n̵g̸.
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Tape eight.
My camera has returned with the arrival of the…fifth piece of paper? I believe it’s the fifth. The lens and case look no worse for wear, although they have that same sort of shimmer to them now, just like the ink. I wonder, will the pictures shimmer too? I’ll have to test that later!
Also, an update on the door. After the conclusion of the most recent task, involving music created via small explosions, it has now reached the appropriate size for human entry. I’ve been debating on what instruments to bring with me when I enter, as there are quite a few different values and properties I want to test.
Speaking of previous experiments, one of the supervisors came and informed me that I’ve been making quite a racket lately, and that it’s bothering the others. I feel bad, because I didn’t even realize I was being that noisy. I mean, I guess the explosions make sense, but everything else has been rather tame in my opinion. I told her I’d try my best to keep the noise down moving forward.
She looked at me kind of funny when I said that, and asked me if I was wearing some sort of contacts. I told her I wasn’t, and she just shrugged and said maybe “it” was a trick of the light. Before, I wasn’t quite sure why she said that, but now…
There seems to be an…unexpected development in the works.
My face seems to be just as dashingly handsome as ever…but I think there’s something wrong with it. My teeth are the wrong shape, I think. And my eyes…they just seem wrong…too qɹᴉɓɥʇ. Then again, it could just be the lack of sleep playing tricks on me, and perhaps the mild headache. In light of this, I’ve decided to start taking pictures of myself for documentation, so I can see if anything really is c̸̛̦h̶̥̑a̴͔̿n̷̹͆g̴̼̔i̴͍̓n̶̻̊g̷̘͑.
Tomorrow we’ll see what’s on the other side.
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Iʇ’s qɹᴉɓɥʇ ɐup qǝɐnʇᴉɟnl ɐup ʇǝɹɹᴉqlǝ ɐup ʍoupǝɹɟnl ɐup ɯᴉuǝ ɐll ɯᴉuǝ¡
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Tape…tape…twenty? Twenty-two? Yes, that sounds about right.
I’ve finally finished moving all of the lab equipment into the new lab, and it’s looking lovely! There’s this shimmery, swirling rainbow substance that covers the walls and floor, and really makes the whole place pop! I couldn’t see it before—I guess my eyes hadn’t ḁ̵͊d̸̮͒j̸̛͙ṷ̷͆s̷͚̓t̶̹̆ê̴̗d̸̤͝—but now that I can, I can definitely say I give it a ten out of ten in style points!
Besides the equipment, I’ve also brought my sheep, Ariel, here so I can look after her! On that note, the floor has sprouted a patch of grass-like substance for her to graze! Fascinating!
All that’s left for me to do is to retrieve a few gadgets I’ve been tinkering with at home, and moving will be complete!
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Tape twenty-three.
I’ve successfully retrieved my bits and bobs, but in the process, I’ve stumbled across a peculiar development.
M̵y̸ ̵c̷o̵w̶o̵r̵k̴e̷r̵s̷ ̴a̴r̷e̴ ̷g̷o̵n̴e̷.
A bunch of yellow caution tape has been posted up everywhere, and there’s quite a few rainbow spills. I’m starting to wonder if maybe they evacuated while I was asleep, and I feel bad. I know I couldn’t see the stains, but I’m still responsible for the mess, and now they have to pause in their work! Hmm…what to do…
(Snaps fingers) I know! I’ll leave them each a note, apologizing for the spill, and expressing to them how much I appreciate them as coworkers! Maybe I could even knit them some socks to go with them! Ariel is growing a surplus of wool thanks to her new diet, and it would be a lovely surprise for when they return! That’s it! That’s what I’ll do!
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Tape twenty-four.
They still haven’t returned yet, but I’m sure it’s just taking a little bit to schedule the cleaners! In the meantime, I’ve been testing what sorts of plants I can grow here! So far, I’ve planted rutabaga, parsnips, and potatoes. I’ll report tomorrow on their status.
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Tape thirty.
It’s been a week since I first saw the tape. They still haven’t come back yet, and I’m starting to get worried…
On the bright side, the sheep shearing machine is almost finished! I think Ariel is going to love it!
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Tape fifty-eight.
It’s been about two months since everyone vanished. I know eventually they’ll show back up…they have to.
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H̴i̵ ̸S̸t̸r̷e̷s̷s̶!̶ ̶I̶ ̶b̴r̸o̴u̷g̶h̴t̸ ̸A̴r̵i̴e̴l̸ ̶f̴o̶r̵ ̸h̶e̴r̶ ̴a̷n̶n̴u̵a̴l̶—oh…is that a beetle on your shoulder?
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Um, yes? She’s my new pet…are you…okay? You look a little…swirly?
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Yup! Never better!
[Stress]
Okay…
Is Ariel okay? She’s rather…fluffy.
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It’s just her uǝʍ pᴉǝʇ! She’s perfectly healthy though! Just has a little extra wool!
[Stress]
Um…okay. Let’s have a look then.
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She’s got a clean bill of health. You should be good to go…hmm? Oi! Z̸̥͆̌͝è̷̼͎̤̋̍̽͜d̷̲̳̾̈́̽̓! I think you dropped someth—Beetletrice! Don’t eat— (Air rushing)
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I really love it here! I just wish I had thought of it before! I mean, imagine how many inventions I could create in a space that breaks the laws of physics?! There’s no limit to what I can create! And that begs the question, how does it break the laws of physics? Does it have its own laws? If so, are there any other places with laws like it, or is it the only one of its kind?
So many questions without answers! It’s a good thing I’ve got a̶l̴l̸ ̵t̶h̴e̷ ̸t̷i̷m̵e̷ ̷i̴n̵ ̸t̵h̴e̸ ̷w̴o̶r̶l̷d̶!
(Pauses)
Huh. I just realized…
Wʎ ɥǝɐp ɥnɹʇs.
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M̴y̶ ̷c̷o̷w̶o̴r̴k̵e̴r̷s̵ ̶a̴r̶e̷ ̶h̸e̷r̸e̵!̵ ̵I̷ ̸ɟ̵ᴉ̷u̶ɐ̶l̸l̶ʎ̷ ̷ɟ̵o̸n̷u̴p̷ ̵ʇ̴ɥ̵ǝ̵ɯ̶!̷
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Tape 3↑↑↑↑3.
E̶̟̿v̷̜͌ë̷̬́r̵̘̒y̷̙̋t̷̤̀ḧ̸͎i̵͉̚n̸̝̾ĝ̴̤ ̸̹̉i̵̼̐s̸̉͜ ̶̟̑j̴̲̋ų̵͆s̶̹̿t̴̯͊ ̵̣͆s̷̹͝ö̷͈́ ̶̦͗f̷̟̓a̸̠̅s̸̠͝c̶̬̓i̷͍̒n̷̜͝a̴̡̿t̵̨͒i̴̼͗ń̸̦g̷̭̾!̸̖͛
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[Grian]
And that’s the end. There’s not much to say about this one, since most private labs in the UK have gone defunct since the seventies. However, if I had to hazard a guess, this “Z” is not to be believed, as he seems to have developed some level of insanity.
As for this “Stress”, the connection to beetles is interesting, considering that False mentioned her roommate having something to do with bugs. Now, I don’t necessarily think they’re connected, per se, but it’s definitely interesting.
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