Work Text:
Jiang Xiaoshuai had just sat down after sending the last of the afternoon patients when his cell rang, the called ID flashing ‘Da Wei’.
Xiaoshuai’s heart ached as he thought of his friend, and how withdrawn he had become since learning of his mother’s diagnosis. His sunshine was dimmed, and it hurt to see a person who had once been so bright moving through life as a faded specter.
“Da Wei! Have you and your mother gotten settled back at the house?” Xiaoshuai asked, injecting cheer into his voice as a way to comfort his friend.
The phone stayed silent, and the unease that had been curling in his stomach since his friend has said his mother had wanted to go home against medical advice grew. “Da Wei?”
He moved the phone to make sure the call hadn’t been cut.
When he brought it back to his ear, he could hear his friend’s shaking breaths.
His heart dropped to his stomach. “Da Wei?” he asked, softer this time. Afraid of speaking too loud, and shattering the fragile thing on the other end of the call.
“Shifu.” The reply came after a long pause.
“Is…” Xiaoshuai bit his lip as tears formed in his eyes. He was a doctor, and he had had to deliver news that destroyed families. He knew what a grieving person’s voice sounded like. “What happened?”
“…she said she wanted to rest in the garden.” Suowei’s voice cracked, and it split Xiaoshuai’s heart with it. “She’s resting there now.”
Xiaoshuai closed his eyes tightly as his grip on his phone tightened. A sharp coil of grief pierced his heart.
He had not spent much time with Mrs. Wu, but she had been kind and soft, and so full of love. Exactly the kind of parent who would raise someone like his Da Wei. He missed her already, and he could feel the sadness threatening to devour his friend from just his tone.
“I’ll be there as soon as possible. I am closing the clinic now.” Xiaoshuai spoke, voice still soft, but firm. “What are you doing?”
The line was silent except for forced breaths. As if Suowei had to remind himself to keep breathing.
“Sitting with her.”
Xiaoshuai felt a lump grow in his throat. “I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay.” Came the reply, murmured so quietly that Xiaoshuai could barely hear it.
“We will get through this, Da Wei. I’ll be there every step of the way.” Xiaoshuai assured him, voice firmer.
Suowei sniffled, humming in agreement, before hanging up.
Xiaoshuai opened and closed his mouth, clutching his phone tightly as he fought to call him back. Instead he straightened, taking a deep breath and moved. Within a few minutes, he had closed the clinic, grabbing his things so he could head to his friend’s house.
He caught a taxi, and gave the driver the address, sitting back in his seat.
His heart still ached, mind whirring with what he could do for his friend, when it struck him there was someone else who needed to know.
He opened his phone, fingers hovering over the contact. He bit his lip. Just because he had given this kind of bad news before did not mean it came any easier.
He took another breath, and called.
“Hello Shuai Shuai.” Guo Chengyu’s voice was bright in a way that felt alien and incompatible with the reality of the situation.
“Chengyu.” Xiaoshuai said, voice solemn.
“What is it?” Chengyu’s voice changed, sharp and alert as he picked up on his boyfriend’s stress immediately.
“Mrs. Wu… she just died. Da Wei called me 10 minutes ago. I am going to him right now.” Xiaoshuai said, not seeing the point in being blunt.
Chengyu inhaled sharply, but did not say anything.
Xiaoshuai’s vision blurred as the words made the reality sink in for him. His breath hitched, and he bit his lip to keep from bawling in the back of a taxi.
“Oh, Xiaoshuai.” Chengyu said, voice heavy with concern.
Xiaoshuai swallowed a sob as he replied. “I am going to take care of my friend. You take care of yours.”
Chengyu’s voice was rough as he agreed. “Take care of yourself too.”
Xiaoshuai exhaled shakily. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Till then, love.” Chengyu said, voice full of an adoration that Xiaoshuai could not handle at the moment. He hung up the call, and forced himself to look out the window. The trees blurred as he let his tears flow silently, his hand clutching his shirt above his heart.
He had really hoped that Mrs. Wu would have more time.
-
Chengyu exhaled heavily as he put the phone down, looking at the cutting board of vegetables he had been preparing for dinner. He did not have much appetite anymore.
His knuckles turned white at what had to happen next, but he took a fortifying breath, and went downstairs to the basement. He paused at the last stair as he saw Chi Cheng smoking on the sofa, mindlessly playing with the lighter.
He wasn’t a fool, and though they had only reconciled a few days ago, he had eyes, and knew the man had been with Mrs. Wu for a long while as her sole confidante. Even if he would never verbalize it to others, Chengyu knew how much Chi Cheng had adored that woman.
How much he had seen her as a mother to him.
He clutched the stair railing for strength before walking to where his friend was sitting. He didn’t say anything till he sat down, closer than usual. His friend looked at him curiously, head tilted as he gave him a once over.
“I thought you were making dinner.” He said around the cigarette.
Chengyu looked at his hands, clutching and unclutching them. He nodded. “I was.”
Chi Cheng raised an eyebrow, and lightly kicked his thigh. “So why are you here?”
“Xiaoshuai called.” Chengyu said.
Chi Cheng’s expression was blank. “Are you trying to kick me out so you can have a booty call?”
Chengyu shook his head once, sharp. Fuck, this was hard.
“Chi Cheng…”
“Spit it out, Chengyu.”
“Suowei called Xiaoshuai. His mother died.” Chengyu said quietly.
From the corner of his eye, he saw how Chi Cheng … froze. Every muscle tensing as his gaze went distant. Chengyu could swear he heard his friend’s heart pause for a moment too.
Chengyu’s eyes widened, and he reached out with a trembling hand as the cigarette in Chi Cheng’s hand burned itself out. He plucked it from stuck fingers, gently dropping it into the ashtray in the coffee table.
“Chi Cheng…?” Chengyu said, voice gentle, as though talking to an animal that was about to escape.
And still no reply came. Not verbally at least. But Chengyu was nothing if not in tune with Chi Cheng, and he caught the trembling as it started in his hands. He watched as it grew, as Chi Cheng’s chest started to rise and fall quickly, as his eyes widened.
As tears filled his eyes.
Chengyu watched dumbfounded as his friend, so strong and emotionless most of the time, seemed to collapse in on himself as a shout of pain erupted from his throat.
Chi Cheng shattered, curling into a tight ball as he shook and shuddered, deep cries that seemed to be torn from his very soul echoing in Chengyu’s basement.
The pain was so raw and unfiltered, it seemed to drown Chengyu, dragging him into it like broken glass over soft flesh.
Chengyu threw himself at Chi Cheng, gathering his friend into his arms, and holding him as tight as possible against his chest.
He had known Chi Cheng cared for Mrs. Wu, but this…this was something he had never seen before.
He didn’t know how to comfort him, what words could lessen this pain.
For now, he just held on, letting his friend splinter inside the safety of his arms.
Chengyu would be there to pick up the pieces.
-
“Suowei called Xiaoshuai. His mother died.”
Chi Cheng thought that hearing Suowei rejecting him, feeling his heart break within his chest was the worst pain he could ever experience. But this, this grief, this opportunity to not say goodbye, this thief that stole something that was not its to take, while Chi Cheng could only watch helplessly from the sidelines…
Chi Cheng barely felt his friend’s arms around him, encircling him and holding him as tight as Xiaocubao used to wrap around his wrist.
All he felt was pain, as though someone had reached into his chest, and ripped his heart out.
All he wanted was to be in that little garden, with its straw reclining chairs under the loquat tree, holding his other half as they grieved the woman they called mother.
All he needed was to hear her voice calling his ‘Xiao Chi’ one last time.
But none of that would happen, and all that was left was this grief he did not know how to handle, other than to let it tear him apart, sharp edges finding every chink and soft spot in his armor, and rending him an open wound.
He needed to go to Suowei.
He needed to keep his promise to his mother. Their path ahead would be difficult, but Chi Cheng knew they would weather it together.
Especially with their mother watching over them.