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Magnus felt Alec stir, the boy had his head on Magnus’ chest. They were curled up around each other and Magnus smiled.
‘I love you.’ He whispered, kissing Alec’s raven hair.
‘I love you too.’ He muttered, sitting up slowly. Magnus looked at him, his black hair falling over the bright blue eyes. His runes placed artistically over his pale skin.
‘Hey, um, how many were there before me?’ The question was random and Magnus looked at him in surprise.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Like… how many people did you love before me?’ Magnus looked at Alec, his face was questioning and Magnus decided. That for the first time in his life, he would tell his history because Alec, was forever.
‘Love?… 5. I loved 5 people before you.’ He answered honestly. Alec nodded.
‘What were there names?’
‘Who, What, When, Where, Why.’ Alec’s eyebrows had furrowed into confusion and Magnus didn’t blame him. Of course, it wasn't there real names, it was the way Magnus had always planned on saying this.
‘Can you tell me about them?’ Alec asked, his hand wrapped around Magnus’ own. Magnus squeezed it and smiled.
‘Who I loved, was a girl from my teenage years. I wasn’t exactly close to her but with some superficial facts and a few interactions throughout the year, I felt like I was. Like most guys, I was fantasising over some girl I barely knew. Although, I filled in the blanks like a fairytale author and who she became in my head was probably more than the reality. She was a third year, sorority girl, a mundane and I was the man who she saw around the town. Sure, it was unusual but the several times we got to spend with each other, really allowed me to see she also had a good heart and a bright spirit. The only problem was, so did just about every other guy. And while she turned me down nicely, I swear, there were times where the pretty girl may have felt something for the man across the road.’
Alec looked at Magnus, Alec’s face was soft with interest.
‘What I loved was an old friend. but she was more than just a friend. We met early in her adult life and kept in touch through the years after. We saw each other grow and change and go through multiple relationships. I saw different boyfriends come and go, she was also there for every girlfriend, boyfriend and every break up of mine. The personality, humour, taste, it was all there. Her and I were almost perfect.’
Magnus smiled softly, remembering the time he spent with her.
‘The only thing that wasn’t perfect was our timing. We were never single at the same time and what we loved about each other was never enough to leave who we were with. This was something we had to eventually face and accept, and we had to leave behind what we had.’
Alec had leaned forward in interest. His hand tight in Magnus’ grip.
‘When I loved, was my first boyfriend. It was a bit unfair because he embodies a combination of both love and youth. The feeling of young love is unique and impossible to replicate because we could only be that age once. It was a time of innocence, discovery and adventure. We shared those three elements together in things like our first kiss, late nights sneaking out and matinee movies. All of which now, have become a nostalgic love, all preserved in the time that neither of us can touch but know was there. Even though we were just young, theres not a doubt in my mind that when we were there, we were in love.’
Magnus knew his loves didn't go in order. It didn't matter though, they were all in the past.
‘Where I loved, was the boy I met in Los Angeles. I never intended to stay there that long. It was just a catch up with Malcolm, Tessa, Jem, Ragnor and Catarina for a few weeks… but it all changed when i met him. Soon a year had passed and somehow a year after that. I couldn’t leave the city, I couldn’t leave him. Maybe it was my desire to be on my own or my desire to prove something to myself but she helped me accomplish it over there. With a relationship reflective of the city we were in, a new energy and new experiences that really pushed me to mature, more than anyone or anywhere else. Unfortunately, I couldn’t give him what he wanted but when people ask what city I love the most, I say LA. The city where I loved the most.’
‘Why I love, was a close friend of mine who passed away. She told me after she was diagnosed that death was not what saddened her the most, but the fact that she felt that she had never really fallen in love. She wouldn’t get to have those emotions, the good and the bad, of being hurt and of being held. After she passed, those words stuck with me the most. Teaching me to see that one of the greatest gifts we have of being alive is the ability to give, receive and even lose love. There are so many like her, who’s lives end before having any of those experiences. What a waste, if we don’t strive to love in our lives. She made me understand why. Why waste this life not loving.’
Magnus finished and he stared at looked at Alec. He looked down and Magnus was scared he was upset but he looked up then with a soft smile.
‘I understand now.’
‘You were the sixth.’ Magnus continued, feeling nerves settle in his stomach.
‘The sixth? So, which one am I then?’ Alec had his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
‘You were none of them, because you are all of them. You are who I love, the man on the pedestal, the fantasy, the make belief things that are actually true. You are what I love, the depth, the inside jokes, the best friend. You are when I love, a new history is being started with you, we are the young lovers our older selves will someday reminisce about. You are where I love, because I’d go anywhere, just to be with you. You are why I love, because before you, I didn’t truly understand what love was. Now that we found each other, you’ve given my past and future meaning. You were the sixth, you were the last.’
Magnus took a deep breath, Alec had tears in his eyes.
’So, will you marry me?’
At that, Alec started crying but he smiled, the smile Magnus loved, and nodded his head. Magnus leaned over to the bedside table and drew out the ring he had kept aside for weeks, and put it in Alec’s hand. Alec clutched it tight and handed Magnus, the Lightwood family ring.
‘I love you so much.’ Alec murmured, pulling Magnus in for a kiss.