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There's a desperate tone in the way he says I love you, in the way his fingers grip tightly in the fabric of your shirt, in the way he lips clash onto yours a bit too harshly for your taste. It's almost as if he expects you to be whisked away by the wind. You tell him you're here though, that you're always going to be here. You couldn't dream of leaving him. Nevertheless, he'll continue to clutch at you and tug on your hair and beg, "please" with those desperate, needy blue eyes.
Just like every night, he's shivering at your side. His hair is wet from an earlier shower- he always refuses to have it blown dry- and dampens the pillow underneath. His eyes are tired and dead, telling you that he's not up for anything tonight and you're okay with that. You would never push him to do anything he wasn't in the mood for. The room is silent, with a magazine to read in your hands and his drowsiness. It lasts for several minutes before he curls up at your side, reaching to grab at the pages from your hands.
"What are you reading?"
"Just some old Rolling Stone magazine. Nothin' that would interest you, Egbert."
"Really? Let me look."
He sits up a bit, enough to where he can rest his head against your shoulder. You wanna complain because he's getting your body wet, and not in the good way, but you don't have the heart to shove him off. Especially when you need to keep him close.
"John Lennon: The Working Class Hero. I love the Beatles! I'm really dissapointed that you don't know me better, Dave", he sticks his tongue out at you. Just like a little kid.
"First of all, Beatles man, Lennon is old as balls in this issue. The Beatles had already disbanded nearly ten years prior. Second of all, since the hell when?"
"Uh...since....forever? I don't really know. I mean, who doesn't love the Beatles? They're the best."
"Fuck yeah, the best that ever were."
He drops the magazine to fall on his side of the bed.
"It's a shame that they broke up...."
You can't tell who sighed, you or him, but before you're even thinking about it you're pulling him up to fit better against you and wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. He shifts slightly, craning his neck to look up at you.
"But don't all good things come to an end?"
You groan inwardly. You were waiting for this. It always happens: his selfconscious doubts about your relationship. About your trust and commitment. Nothing you did could convince him that you were here to stay, and it broke your heart apart.
"It doesn't have to be that way. Some good things never end. Some dreams come true and always last. Some people live in blissful happiness throughout all their days. Some people stay together until the very end."
"That's rare, though. Something that only happens in movies."
"John Egbert", you pull your shades off so he can see your eyes and set them down on the bedside table, "I'm layin' here with the most handsom man in the world. He's got eyes that make me feel like I'm flying and soft black locks that only prestige actors could pull off. Sure, it's a lil' obvious that his dad could never afford a propper dental plan-", you pause as swats at your arm, "but hey, buckteeth can be cute shit. And he's cooler than the coolkid himself. I don't know how I managed to get him which could only mean one thing. We're in a movie. You and I both. And you're the star, John. The guy that everyone loves, that everyone wants to be. And I'm the sappy girl that somehow got lucky. And you wanna know what happens in the end of the movie, John? We both grow old and live happily ever after. Maybe even with a couple of kids, ya know."
There's tears in his eyes and a derpy smile formed on his lips and it is simply breathtaking. Your lips find his and there's that sweet taste that you've grown so fond of. It's simple and short and you give him everything you know he needs; tenderness, love, and longing. When you pull away you give him a peck on the forehead.
"You got that, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I did. Thanks."
A hint of sadness is detected in the second smile but you chose to not acknowlege it.
"Good. Cause I meant every word. Now let's get some sleep, you're tired and I can tell."
You reach up to turn the light off before tucking him in safetly against you.
"I love you."
Three words muffled against your chest.
"I love you too. Always will."