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Hannibal scowled as he looked at the words like they have done something to personally offend him. In his mind, they have.
He should have expected the bet to not be so easy to win, especially considering the topic, yet, blinded by arrogance, he still entered it.
"This is not Italian! This... horrendous phrases are not remotely close to the beautiful, magnificent langua-"
"Giving up already?" Will laughed and to Hannibal that was the cruelest thing he's ever done, "should I tell Abigail?
Hannibal shook his head in disagreement, Will only giggled and continued:
"Imagine what will happen if, or should I say when, you lose - "Hannibal the Cannibal" eating a hamburger at McDonald's. Freddie would have such a blast with this"
"Firstly, I would take the life of Miss Lounds in the presence of the police itself before allowing her to write a word about my distress"
Suddenly, he stood behind Will, grabbing his arm and twisting it just so the other man would feel the power radiating from his being.
"Secondly, never underestimate me" Hannibal whispered hotly into Will's ear, "My lovely little Bobrito Bandito"
Will gasped for his breath as tears of laughter rolled down his cheeks.
"I take it back, my cannibalistic brainrot-er. You will complete this challenge with ease"
"There are much better ways to utilize a brain than rot it," Hannibal mumbled, voice grumpy.
♡♡♡
Every time Abigail saw her adoptive dad - which was fairly often considering they shared an apartment - she taunted him, mercilessly, with the cruelty Hannibal would be proud of, were it not directed at him, in this particularly disturbing way.
"No, no, la polizia!" She had yelled for both her dads to hear.
Will came running, carrying two guns, Hannibal - a butcher knife, expecting Jack Crowford or the Italian police to have finally discovered their lavish Florence apartment.
"It's a meme, dad! Did you not learn that one yet? It's almost like you want to go to McDonald's!" Abigail smirked, knowing her stunt would go completely unpunished.
"Yes... of course. I have learned that one" Hannibal said through gritted teeth, "It was Will's idea to take these weapons as a precaution"
Will shrugged.
"Maybe. But I'm not the one who made a bet on whether or not I can learn Italian brainrot on TikTok"
"I am fluent in Italian and I possess a magnitude of knowledge about the brain! I was a surgeon, beloved! How should I have foreseen, that the disgusting "trend" has nothing to do with either!"
Will and Abigail, the traitors that they are, simply giggled.
Hannibal would have much rather preferred if they tied him up and cut out his organs one by one without any kind of anesthesia or painkillers instead of this. He already offered it. Twice. His daughter only shook her head, delivering a cryptic message:
"You're so cooked"
For a brief moment, he thought that meant his daughter agreed to his proposal, only to later discovered "cooked" now possessed an entirely different meaning.
♡♡♡
"Beloved, the day has come. I would like to ask you to check my knowledge of the atrocious "memes"!"
Will took out his phone to consult the list, that Abigail has helpfully written for him.
"Br br..."
"Sahur?" Hannibal inquired in that scholarly tone of his.
"You're gonna lose"
"Don't be ridiculous, William, I am proficient in many languages, as well as medicine, psychiatry, I think I can memorize the-" he looked at Will's screen, "oh"
♡♡♡
The primary issue is, Hannibal deeply disliked losing, and in cases where he suspected there was such a possibility, he killed the person betting against him, and, subsequently, won. Alas, he could not do it to his dearest daughter, no matter the humiliation. So when his angel said, that it was time to see if he can complete the challenge or face the consequences (fast food), he just winced.
"Abigail, apple of my eye, is there any way you would allow me a day more to review and organize my freshly obtained knowledge?"
"Nope"
"Fine, you may begin your test"
"Cappuccina?"
"Assassino. And, I'd ask you not to change the ending of the word to confuse me, you will not succeed" Others would be trembling under the look he gave, but Abigail snickered.
"Wrong. It's Ballerina Cappuccina"
The feared cannibal felt his face heat up.
"No biggie, dad. You're getting older, it might be hard to remember so much stuff" Abigail said, all acrimonious, "Let's go the next one: Tralalelo?"
"Tralala" the word burned his tongue.
"Yep! You ate!"
"Of course, I eat, darling. Everyone does. Such is the nature of our mortal existence - eat or be eaten"
Hannibal was about to launch into a lecture, when he noticed the too wide, too evil smile on his daughter face.
"That's not what you meant, was it?"
"Nowhere near"
Oh-oh.
Hannibal pouted the entire way to the McDonald's.