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A stuck up intelligence officer, the lowest ranking member of all time and an executive who had almost as much power and status as the tyrant Ougai himself. Three people who ordinarily, shouldn’t have known each other’s names never mind drank together on a regular basis and were in fact friends. It was even more unheard of for the group to ever go on missions with one and other.
‘Ugh.’ Dazai grumbled as he finally stumbled into the bar one evening, taking a seat reluctantly.
‘You’re late.’ Said Ango, shooting him a disturbed glance and downing the rest of his tomato juice as he fixed the collar on his brown,mundane blazer.
‘Of course I’m late!! And I’m exhausted!’
He complained boyishly.
‘Rough day?’ Murmured Oda.
Dazai sighed.
‘I’ll say.’
The youngest one of the trio ,after slumping down into his stool, rested his forehead up against the grimy counter top as he started to wiggle out of his long black coat, before leaving it on the dusty floor without even a shred of sympathy for the barkeep who always cleaned up after them.
‘Mori’s had me doing all kinds of ridiculous missions lately I-‘
Hesitated Osamu, trying to muster up the right words in frustration.
‘Just don’t see the point!’
‘Lighten up Dazai, ridiculous how?’ Ango chuckled, curiously.
‘Yeah surely it can’t be too bad.’
Oda took a languid sip of ice cold beer from his translucent glass.
‘Tommorow for example, I’ve got to go undercover and interview a family but you know how extra and convoluted mori is.’
He huffed.
Sakunoske and Sakaguchi exchanged glances, before either of them could speak up Dazai rambled again; this time spouting even more drivel than before.
‘Here’s where things get truly awful though, I’ve got to pretend I’m Mr.Hirotsu’s son. I hate undercover missions so much especially when-‘
‘Doesn’t sound too bad.’
Shrugged Oda, cutting him off.
‘What?!? Are you kidding, my jobs way harder than yours odasaku!! If it sounds so easy why don’t you do it?!?’
‘Ok then, I will.’ The other stated casually.
‘I agree with Odasaku, Dazai. A mission with Mr.Hirotsu dosent sound too bad, I mean you’d hate this mission even more if you were with that ‘chuuya’ kid you’re always complaining about right?’
‘I hate Chuuya but I also hate being treated like I’m just some kid!!’
Groaned Osamu sulkily.
‘Mr.Hirotsu knows I’ve got a way more important position than he has and Mori says I’m intelligent for my age so what’s the point?!?’
Ango frowned and knitted his brow.
‘Well how much are you being paid for this job?’
‘Between me and Mr.Hirotsu 600,000 yen, if the mission goes according to plan that is.’
Sakaguchi and Sakunoske’s faces lit up at once and they turned to Dazai in unison.
‘600,000?!?’
Shrieked Ango.
‘You’re complaining about a job that’s gonna get you 300,000 yen richer?!?’
‘Yeah that’s a huge amount of cash Dazai, I’d do anything for that.’
Dazai ,who was amused, suddenly got an idea. You could almost see the lightbulb flickering on above his head, illuminating the dingy bar.
‘Why don’t the two of you join me?’
‘Us join you?’ Muttered Ango.
‘Instead of Mr.Hirotsu you two could pretend to be my parents, since I’ve got no interest in money you two could split the 600,000 yen!!’
He grinned.
‘Let’s do it Odasaku, what do you say?’
Ango turned to Oda; a huge beam spread across his face, emerald eyes twinkling.
‘Hold on, if me and Ango are both going with you Dazai then we’ve got to..’
‘Pretend to be dazai’s parents together.’
Ango finished Oda’s sentence, deep in thought.
‘Precisely.’ An evil smirk tugged at the corners of Osamu’s lips and he folded his arms smugly.
‘You two will realise how soul crushing my job really is and learn to respect me!! So, do you still want to do it?’
The two men looked at eachother.
‘Hmm, 300,000 yen is a lot of money Ango..’
‘It is isn’t it..’
‘Ok Dazai we accept your challenge!’
Oda exclaimed abruptly, holding out his hand to shake Osamu’s.
‘Yay!!!’
‘W-wait h-hold on I-i didn’t agree to this Odasaku I- I still need time to decide!’
‘What’s there to decide?’
Sakunoske turned around so he was facing Osamu.
‘Dazai, If Ango doesn’t want to do it then do I get 600,000 yen?’
‘Hmm if Ango backs out, surely the job is way less embarrassing and a lot easier since the two of you don’t have to pretend you’re in a romantic relationship..’
Osamu thought for a moment.
‘But I want the two of you to really understand just how difficult and tedious my work can be!!’
Oda sighed.
‘If Ango doesn’t want to do it I’ll just ask Mr.Hirotsu and neither of you will get the cash!!’
Dazai smiled menacingly.
‘C’mon Ango please?’
‘Yeah Ango, I mean dad, pleaseeee!! It’ll be so funnn!!’
Dazai taunted.
‘Ok ok fine!’ Snapped the bespectacled man.
Sakunoske stood up, he shook Dazai’s hand and the two locked eyes.
‘You’ve got yourself a deal.’
Ango gulped.
As the very next day approached,all three met up on a sheltered high street behind the address Mori had given them, Dazai in school uniform and the other two in more casual attire than usual.
They were pretending to be normal civilians after all.
‘Dazai? Dazai, is that you Dazai?’
Ango ,holding an umbrella over his head, called as he spotted his friends and rushed over to both of them.
‘Ango you made it!’
Grinned Osamu.
‘Me and Odasaku thought you’d abandoned us cuz you were too scared!!’
‘Tch, scared of what? Let’s just do this for that 300,000 yen so we can all get out of here.’
He tutted.
‘Whatever you say.’ Taunted Dazai.
Before Sakaguchi even had the chance to reply with ‘what on earth is that supposed to mean’, Odasaku unbuttoned his coat since it had stopped raining. That’s when Dazai and Ango realised that on his all but plain white shirt, were the words ‘world’s greatest dad!!’ Printed in bold black letters.
‘Odasaku you really went all out.’
Osamu chuckled nervously.
‘Where on earth did you get clothes like that from on such short notice?’
Gasped Ango.
‘Oh, this?’
Sakunoske shrugged nonchalantly, looking himself up and down.
‘The kids got me this as a gift last year, and Dazai said not to dress formal so I thought it’d do.’
‘You mean to say you wear that often?’
Dazai grimaced, recoiling as his face contorted and pointed nose became wrinkled.
Ango pinched his elbow.
‘Ouch? Ango what was that for?!?’
‘Let’s hurry and get to work.’
Murmured the bespectacled man, shoving up his glasses and letting out a soft huff.
‘We’re going to be late.’
Narrow dirt paths sloped and branched out in every direction, up ahead there were lush,looming trees and uncut hedges. This neighbourhood was a rather pleasant one and vastly different to the others found in Yokohama, in Ango’s opinion. So much so that he pondered living in a place like this himself one day. He admired the ropes of thick green ivy that clung on every white picket fence, and envied any soul who could afford to live in such a rural place like this free of secrets and bloodshed.
He lost his train of thought when suddenly Dazai broke the silence in a stern,professional tone, he took his work very seriously after all.
‘Mori said a boy my age could have been a witness to the attack on our executives the other night, so if we question him about what he saw then he might prove to be useful.’
‘And we’re going undercover because we’re part of an illegal organisation, right?’
Asked Ango as he started to register why and what they were doing, Osamu hadn’t actually explained to them until now.
’bingo.’
Dazai deadpanned, letting out a long, lethargic sigh.
‘So we’re to go undercover , me as another kid from his school and you two as my concerned parents to see what we can find out about the attack.’
Ango tried to interrupt.
‘It’ll all make sense when we get there, just follow my lead and everything will be fine-‘
The overcast morning sky wore a greyish tint and bathed the trees in its foggy hue, serving as something akin to a lingering reminder that the heavy rainfall had occurred just earlier this morning.
‘Hold on Dazai, the group who attacked our executives is.. clearly violent and skilled. If we get this boy’s testimony then won’t he and his family almost certainly become targets or worse-‘
The sixteen year old instantly disregarded the other’s concern, his chilled face hardened and his brows furrowed dramatically.
Such worries concerning what was and wasn’t morally just, were seen only as signs of weakness within the infamous port mafia. The first to consider morals were always the first to die.
Ango couldn’t argue, in his opinion the things he did for work could not be considered principled either.
They reached a plain-looking house and Dazai ,who the other two were following, stopped in his tracks mid-sentence.
‘We’re here?’
Murmured Oda.
‘Yep!’ Exclaimed Osamu, returning to his usual bouncy self, ready to knock on the front door with such confidence.
‘Hold on.’ Said Ango. ‘You’re sure this is the right address? This place seems so.. well..normal?’
There was a silver Toyota parked on the drive way, practically glowing beneath the sun’s muted rays, and a slightly overgrown hedge that cast a shadow across the street. Through a window at the top of the house you could just make out a homely,warm looking master bedroom where on the wall hung a selection of family photos in all different shapes and sizes.
The three mafiosos stood unconditionally captivated by the normality, a short,blonde haired woman abruptly swung open the door with a feather duster for dusting with in hand.
‘Uhm.. hello? Can I help you? You’ve been standing by my house for the past five minutes-‘
Dazai ,wearing his nauseating, mirthful smile, shoved past his two friends before they could get so much as a word in. He forcefully grabbed the woman’s hand before shaking it in an exaggerated manner.
‘It’s so nice to finally meet you miss, my fathers were just.. enjoying the weather.’
Osamu exclaimed, his cheery smile and animated demeanour never once wavering as he spoke.
‘I’m a friend of your son’s from school!!’
The confused woman standing in her doorway suddenly broke into a delighted smile and a slight look of relief dawned over her face.
‘You’re a friend of Ren’s?!? How sweet I’ll go get him, please you three come in and make yourselves at home.’
She exclaimed sweetly without missing a beat.
Dazai shot Oda and Ango a pleased grin over his shoulder, as if to say ‘we’re in!’ as the owner of the house pranced away blissfully.
‘Dazai are you sure this is-‘
Osamu ,ignoring Oda, took him and Ango by their sleeves and led them indoors.
On there way to the living room they passed more family photos and the trio (once again) couldn’t help but gawk, fixated on the idea of having a life that under no circumstances any of them would ever experience anything remotely close to.
‘What a lovely home you’ve got miss!’
He chirped to the woman now out of sight, you could practically hear the charming smile in Dazai’s voice.
The blonde haired woman chuckled, she appeared with some snacks and turned to Odasaku who continued the stare at the wall with a vacant look upon his face.
‘When I quit the port mafia and all five kids become independent, I want pictures like this of my own. Hung up in a room by the sea, the kids will be on the pictures for sure and maybe Dazai as-well if he-‘
‘What a polite son you’ve got mister?’
‘Huh?’
As she gazed at Oda , politely waiting for him to say his name, Dazai shot his friend a stare complete with bright, pleading eyes. Oda knew what the other was saying, despite previously just how spaced out and oblivious he had been to his surroundings.
‘Misterrrr..?’ He fumbled, leaving her confused. Osamu wanted him to make up a fake identity but coming up with a name on the spot like that was a lot easier said than done, and so Oda said the first thing that came to his mind.
‘Curry.’
‘Curry?’ She was taken aback.
‘Curious!’ Dazai exclaimed loudly.‘Curious’ was hardly, if not any better than what Oda had originally came up with, but it’s the only word you could mispronounce ‘curry’ that osamu could come up with under this amount of pressure. And ‘curry’ wouldn’t do.
‘Curious?’
‘Curious about what?’
Ango forced an uncomfortable, nervous titter.
‘Haha!’
‘E-excuse me?’
The youth dressed in smart school uniform elbowed Ango in his side harshly, without the owner of the house noticing.
‘Yep these are my parents Pongo and.. Ado! Pongo and Ado curious and you may call me.. Umaso Curious!!’
‘Umaso Curious?’
‘I go by Uma for short!!’ Laughed Dazai casually, flashing his cheerful smile once more.
The woman made her way into a tidy front room followed by the three guests.
Ango lagged behind the furthest, replaying in his head the moment his stupid joke didn’t land over and over again and cringing each time. He also held his side in pain from where the teen had jabbed him only seconds prior.
The group finally sat down on a squishy leather couch across from two other people; A man and the woman from earlier, both in their early forties, both waiting for the three to speak with smiles on their merry faces.
Dazai cleared his throat.
‘Not to get straight to the point but see-‘
A huge alsatian with a shaggy coat and pointed black ears entered the room, Dazai frowned, shuffling a little further into the spot where he was sat between his two friends.
‘He dosent bite.’ Laughed the man, taking note of Dazai’s expression.
Sakaguchi thought back to something the young man had said as he was filling them in on the information earlier.
‘Before asking about the attack we’ve got to make as much small talk as we can.’
‘Remember, It’d be suspicious if three people you’d never met before showed up at your door and started asking about a gunfight that your son could’ve witnessed. Make up stories and ask lots of questions!!’
Something in Ango snapped and he got into character like an actor ready to preform.
‘You should see this kid with dogs honestly, he hates them.’
Sakaguchi spoke up, laughing to himself and nudging Oda with his shoulder blade.
‘I’ve never met a kid who hates dogs.’
Chuckled the woman, intrigued already.
‘What can we say? Uma’s not like other kids, but we’ve got a cat at home.’
‘Who he’s very fond of.’
Added Oda before going off on a rant.
‘When he was younger he used to call the cat ‘teacher’ and follow it around for hours, they were inseparable.’
He chuckles softly, almost like he hadn’t came up with that story just now.
Ango started sniggering as-well, leaning against Oda for support.
Dazai listened and observed quietly as the two reminisced fondly, almost unable to grasp that two people could discuss him in such a positive light, even if they were only acting.
Sometimes Dazai wondered if the other two were only pretending to enjoy his company, perhaps they just feared him like everyone else did and where trying to stay on his good side. Other times he let himself believe that there bond actually ran deep, that they genuinely enjoyed there time together as much as Dazai did.
Ango’s olive green eye caught Dazai’s full amber ones beneath the warm light, then to Osamu’s surprise Ango shot him a domestic smile in the midst of his laughter. But why? Thought Dazai. No one saw Sakaguchi do it.
Framed photographs of the same three people all sat idly on the mantle piece beside pots and pots of well cared for plants along with other various trinkets. Spread out across the soft carpet was a beige coloured rug, its colour was the same as the cozy blankets found on both dark grey couches.
‘So you two are in a romantic relationship with eachother?’
The husband and his wife had their pinkies intertwined, Oda took Ango’s hand and did the same. He struggled at first, given how his hand was a lot bigger than Sakaguchi’s and the gesture made Dazai cringe, but Ango let out a giggle and showed him the right way.
‘Yes miss.’ Ango sighed, his face a shade of pink.
‘And you adopted your son?’
Asked the husband curiously, not sure if this subject was a difficult one or not.
‘I met Uma before falling in love with Ang- I mean Pongo actually.’
Oda replied softly, now absentmindedly squeezing Ango’s pinky finger with his own.
‘I took him in because he was bloodied on my doorstep and I-‘
‘Dad!’
Dazai coughed, shooting Oda a glare that screamed ‘why would you tell them that, it’s much too suspicious?!?’.
Sakunoske stared back as if to say ‘but it’s true though?’ before realising that Dazai was probably right.
‘Oh my goodness.’ Murmured the blonde haired woman in astonishment. The terrified, excited look in her glassy blue eyes made it abundantly apparent to the three mafiosos, that a world of blood and uncertainty was a completely foreign concept, at least to this family.
This family was more acquainted with the boring sounds of lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners, rather than the sounds of gunfire.
‘It’s two pm already, wow’
Chuckled Ango.
The owner of the house sighed blissfully and leaned back against her husband, gold wedding ring on her bony finger glistening.
‘Time flies when you’re having fun, but why did you three stop by here? Surely it wasn’t just to reminisce and talk about your truly wonderful family.’
She chuckled lightheartedly.
‘No of course not, I mean..’
Ango cleared his throat and held Sakunoske’s hand.
‘We’re worried about our Uma and think your son might know something.’
‘Oh my goodness, our Ren hasn’t been picking on you has he?!?’
The blonde woman asked Dazai who shook his head calmly.
‘No, nothing like that!’
Ango assured her.
‘See, not so long ago when Uma was walking home from school he ran into a group of men with guns.’
Oda spoke up.
‘Uma tells us that he saw them attack a different group of men who were in suits, they all had guns and lots of people died.’
‘Oh my goodness how traumatising..but what’s it to do with our son’
To say the woman began looking concerned would be an understatement, she fidgeted with strands of her golden hair and with her free hand began squeezing her husband’s arm even tighter.
Ango cleared his throat hesitantly.
‘Uma tells us your son was also there.’
‘We really just want the best for our son and he hasn’t been the same since it happened, so we were wondering if your son could tell us what he knows?’
Said Oda hopefully.
Between shallow breaths the woman tensely chewed on each of her glittery painted fingernails.
‘I’ve got to say..I’m surprised your son hasn’t told you already’
Ango said.
‘Then again maybe it’s just because we’re so used to Uma.’
He chuckled.
Sakunoske joined in. The three had grown somewhat envious of the perfect picture they were painting, and covetous of anyone who lived such a life full of trust and honesty. Dazai feared that maybe the other two were taking this too far, that the stories being told were unrealistic and too good to be true.
‘He’s so attached to us, the kid tells us everything!!’
The woman got up off her seat but before calling her son downstairs she stammered apprehensively;
‘I-I’ll go get Ren and see what he knows..’
A boy no older than Dazai entered the room shortly followed by his nervous mother and sat down next to his two parents. He had wavey blonde hair and deep chestnut eyes just like his father.
‘Yeah I watched the ‘attack’, or whatever you wanna call it.’
The boy casually admitted, shrugging his shoulders.
‘But Ren, why wouldn’t you tell us?!?’
His mother fretted and fussed, a genuine,hurt look of betrayal appeared across her face.
‘I didn’t get hurt or anything?’
Just then, the boy noticed Dazai sitting on the couch opposite him.
‘Who the hell is that?’
‘Language!’
Snapped the woman.
‘And his name is Umaso Curious, he says he’s a friend of yours from school?’
Osamu put his head down.
‘I’ve never seen that kid.’
‘Don’t be rude sweetie, his father said he’s a little shy so.. maybe you haven’t noticed him before..’
She muttered fearfully, as her orbs wandered across and scanned the bandages covering the gloomy teen who sat in her living room.
‘Sorry, he’s been pretty shook up ever since the incident took place.’
Sighed Ango putting his arm around the brunette boy’s shoulder and ruffling Dazai’s hair.
‘That’s why we need your son’s help.’
Added Sakunoske.
Ren sighed.
‘Let’s see, last week- wait, or was it the week before…’
The youth started pondering.
‘Anyway I was walking back from school, alone.’
He uttered, glaring at Dazai suspiciously.
‘When across the street I saw these men, all in suits. It looked like they were talking and all of them carried briefcases and guns, then all of a sudden more men appeared!! It was this whole other group and they just started to attack the guys who were in suits for no reason-‘
‘This is absurd, we-we need to tell the authorities now. Ren hand me the phone right now!’
Demanded the woman who was beginning to grow wildly impatient.
Her son got to his feet and started rummaging around for his cellphone.
‘That really won’t be necessary miss, for your safety I’d suggest-‘
Said Ango, trying to calm her down. Sakaguchi knew that if the government or city police caught wind of this, then they’d try to arrest the group which would almost certainly result in the death of this young boy. What’s more is the port mafia could also get into a lot of trouble.
The quiet man who’d been sitting on the couch with his wife and son abruptly spoke up in a demanding tone;
‘Do you three know something you’re not sharing with us?’
Ango averted his gaze to the man, all of a sudden his throat felt dry and his hands clammy.
‘You got awfully defensive as soon as my wife suggested calling the authorities, and why has your son been jotting things down in that notepad ever since Ren started talking about the incident?’
Ango got even more protective.
‘He doodles when he’s nervous it calms him down!!’
‘Then show us.’
‘Excuse me…’ Mumbled Ango.
It’s true Dazai had been making notes ever since the young boy started giving his statement. The burly man stood infront of Osamu, holding out his hand.
‘Show me your doodles.’
‘Sir that won’t be necessary.’
Oda grumbled, trying to intervene.
Ango jumped in again.
‘Shut it four eyes!!’ Spat the man who was quickly losing his temper, voice oozing with contempt.
Despite being usually rather timid and hushed, Odasaku got to his feet and clutched Ango’s sleeve tightly, tucking the other man beneath his arm and holding him close by the waist.
The other let out a high pitched yelp and tried to shove Oda away.
‘What the hell are you doing?!?’
Sakunoske declared assertively;
‘No one talks to my husband like that!!’
In a dead serious voice with a solemn expression on his face.
No one said a word
Osamu, who had simply been watching the scene before his eyes unravel on its own, inadvertently broke out into a fit of loud, boisterous laughter. Those two were never ever going on a job with him like this ever again. Dazai knew now that he should’ve gotten over himself and avoided this mess by following Hirotsu’s plan. But it was too late.
‘Odasaku!’ He cried. ‘Oh, Odasaku-‘
Dazai cackled, trying to catch his breath.
The woman began peering around her front room.
‘Odasaku, who’s that?’
‘Dammit Dazai..’ Ango ,pinching the bridge of his nose and taking off his pair of glasses, gritted his teeth and sighed quietly to himself in frustration.
‘Haha, You’re gonna scold me but not your husband?’
Osamu couldn’t keep from laughing, he put emphasis on the word ‘husband’ before continuing to cackle as he pointed at the two of them still practically holding hands.
‘I think it’s best the three of you take your leave now.’
Said the polite woman from earlier.
‘I agree.’ Ango groaned in annoyance.
Approximately four days following the undercover mission,Oda, Ango and Dazai all were required to meet up at Mori’s office.
‘For a discussion’ there boss had said and it didn’t come as a surprise why.
‘Hey Ango!’
Dazai greeted a man in black spectacles, found standing anxiously outside the wide glass door.
‘Hey Dazai.’
He mumbled.
Next to arrive was Sakunoske Oda, in his light brown trench coat and striped black shirt as usual.
‘Hey odasaku!!’ Dazai exclaimed boyishly.
‘Hey Dazai.’
Sakaguchi peered at Oda.
‘Hey Ango.’
Sakunoske itched his head.
‘Sorry, I don’t know what came over me the other day.’
He shrugged.
‘It’s… fine..’
Ango grumbled, sounding somehow more disturbed than usual.
As Dazai grinned a cocky, impish grin, Ango threw him a resentful scowl.
‘This is all your fault Dazai!! If you weren’t so lazy then me and odasaku wouldn’t have been dragged into this huge mess to begin with!!’
‘Me?!? What did I do?!?’
Dazai points to himself in a theatrical manner, putting on a shrill voice.
‘You two are the ones who clearly need to get a room-‘
‘IT WAS ACTING, NOTHING MORE DAZAI!’
A shade of deep scarlet spread across Ango’s cheeks as he turned the colour of a ripe tomato and scolded Dazai.
‘It was all going fine until that last part.’
Sighed Oda in despair.
‘I just hope we didn’t get that family into any trouble.’
‘Sakunoske Oda, Osamu Dazai and Ango Sakaguchi, the boss is ready to see you now.’
Announced the robotic, monotone voice coming from a speaker found mounted on the wall.
Ango sighed.
‘Here goes nothing.’
‘Hey it should be ok!!’
Chirped Dazai ,who was clearly lying to Ango, happily.
‘I mess up all the time but you know how Mori is, he’s kind, caring, forgiving-‘
The other tried to cut him off but Dazai wouldn’t allow it.
‘Not to mention we got the information didn’t we, isn’t that what’s important? I’m sure you two will get the cash you were promised, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you got a gigantic raise!!’
‘Maybe you have a point..’
All of a sudden Ango felt uplifted as he began to really make sense of Dazai’s encouraging words. Relief washed over him followed by excitement and optimism.
‘Yeah! Everything’s got to have a silver lining after all!!’
Ango grinned.
‘That cash is as good as ours odasaku!!’
‘I’m not so sure about that..’
Murmured Oda.
Sakunoske and Dazai casually made their way into the boss’s office, followed by Ango prancing and skipping as he fantasised about what he’d do with the cash he thought he was bound to receive.
‘Hello you three.’
Mori greeted them with a mirthful note in his voice, Oda, Dazai and Ango all bowed their heads respectfully.
‘To begin, Dazai didn’t I tell you to carry out this mission with Hirotsu?’
‘Yeah’ Sighed Dazai. ‘I know.’
‘So you deliberately disobeyed my orders?’
Ango suddenly butted in, unable to contain himself thanks to Dazai’s blatant lies from earlier;
‘Mister Mori, please could you skip to the part where you give Odasaku and me a humongous raise for our valiant efforts?’
‘Excuse me?’
Ougai blinked in bewilderment, a look of confusion in his deep indigo eyes.
‘The.. raise?’
Ango asked, his confidence faltering.
Dazai giggled to himself cheekily and Ango stared daggers into him from just a couple meters away.
Now it made sense.
‘Sorry to disappoint but unfortunately, no one’s getting a raise.’
Murmured Mori.
‘Do you mean to say we failed sir?’
Asked Sakunoske sheepishly.
‘That’s one way to put it. Apparently you all went by the surname ‘curious’, am I wrong?’
Ougai couldn’t hold in his chuckle.
Before Dazai could explain, Mori spoke again, amused to say the least.
‘And Oda, you screamed at a man claiming he couldn’t-‘
Sakunoske ended Mori’s sentence ashamed;
‘Speak to my husband like that, yes.’
Oda sighed.
‘I apologise sir, it was all going well until that point. I got carried away.’
‘You did, didn’t you?’
The boss giggled.
‘Anyway, I called you here to discuss a number of things. I understand that the two of you were concerned for the family’s safety.’
Oda and Ango caught eyes simultaneously then cautiously looked back at Mori, dreading what would come from his mouth.
‘Yes sir, are they- are they ok sir?’
Ango asked.
‘They’re fine, the group who attacked our executives has been disposed of thanks to the information you collected, so no one will target them and no one will be harmed.’
‘Thank god.’ Thought Oda.
‘We aren’t going to be fired, are we sir?’
Sakaguchi suddenly panicked as he reached the conclusion that this was all too good to be true.
Ougai’s lips formed the shape of a smirk.
‘That brings me to my last point. You three created a huge problem that I personally had to clean up after, not to mention you also put our company in grave danger.’
‘But?’ Asked Dazai, cynically and un-afraid of his boss.
‘I can’t fire Dazai since he’s such a valuable asset to me, in the same fashion I don’t doubt that if I let either of you go..’
Mori looked in Sakunoske and Sakaguchi’s direction.
‘Dazai will leave the organisation without a trace and I can’t have that, so I came up with a suitable punishment for all three of you.’
‘Which is?’ Ango’s heart was pounding wildly in his chest as worst case scenarios rushed into his head.
‘All of you have been put on clean up duty which means you are to stay back after work every day for a week and clean up around my office-‘
‘What?!? That’s so unfair!!’ Complained Osamu, ready to throw a tantrum.
‘That’s..it?’
Ango whispered, this was miles better than the other punishments he’d came up with for mori to use. They all included torture, being beaten, being strangled and thrown into a pot of boiling water.
Dazai began trying to cause and uproar and even dragging Odasaku into his antics aswell.
‘This executive quits! I’m done! Do I look like a janitor to you-‘
Ango chuckled.
‘Odasaku agrees don’t you Odasaku, tell Mori that we quit!!’
‘Uh..’ Oda glanced down at him vacantly.
In the end Ango pulled Dazai away by the scruff of his neck , and Dazai ,still screaming complaints, neglected to realise.
‘Thank you sir.’
Ango called to Mori, when Oda saw the other two were leaving he turned around and followed behind.
The people were safe and the three of them were hardly being punished, that’s what mattered to Sakaguchi.
‘I’m not a janitor!! I quit!’
‘No, thank you Ango.’ Laughed Mori carelessly.
‘Did you hear me, I said I quit! Wait- A-Ango what are you doing?’
Dazai’s voice trailed off.
‘Where are we going, let me go!!’