Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Soulmates.

The string of fate, as others said. It was a part of the universe that every child was told about. They had a soulmate that would connect with them once they realized their feelings in the form of a mark on their body. Bound by nothing more than destiny and luck.

Grian hated it. He was never lucky so why should others believe in luck? He gave up on the concept of soulmates years ago. After his parents split up and he transferred to Japan for a few years, that solidified it. There was no point in chasing after some random soulmate.

He forever cursed the gods above for this system. Barely anyone wanted to date outside the soulmate system, the only other person he found had been Ellen. A non-binary kid who went to the same school as him. He’d dated them for a short time before giving up after figuring out he preferred men. The system was stupid.

Why did it determine who he’d love? Why did he never get a say in it? The thought of being forced to date someone just because they were his “soulmate” was irritating enough to make his head plumes twitch.

Taurtis was his complete opposite. He lived off of the hope that the system provided. He believed every second of soulmates and would constantly go on rambles about how he just wanted to find his soulmate. He believed in the love it brought.

Grian didn’t.

He, at first, wanted to deny Sam’s invitation to the beach day. It was in Japan and he’d only be there for a day. Plus, after his childhood he never wanted to end up back in that stupid town. Sadly, he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to see his childhood crush. It was stupid, really. Someone who hates soulmates and someone who loves them. They’re a doomed mess waiting to happen.

Grian knows his love is immature, childish even. Who could blame him? Even if it was, he should be allowed to dream if everyone allows their life to be controlled by the luck of the universe.

He accepted the invitation and showed up. It was a long trip; Britain to Japan wasn’t the closest thing in the world. One day. Grian had one day to indulge himself before he’s probably forgotten and left behind. Little did he know, accepting that invitation both fixed and ruined his life.

Sam invited him to stay for Halloween. He accepted. He’ll be over Taurtis soon.

Even if that’s what he’s been saying for years. He’ll never move on and some deep part of him will forever mourn that soulmates are cruel. Grian hasn’t done a soulmate check in years. He’s too focused on the fact that since Taurtis isn’t his soulmate, he wouldn’t want one.

Salex was Taurtis’ soulmate. She died. Taurtis hated that. He never gave up hope even after her death. He searched for whoever would be his new soulmate to make up for his lost one.

Grian wished it was him.

Then Halloween came. The incident happened and suddenly Grian cradled Taurtis’ limp body in his arms. A faint pulse in his otherwise still body. He rushed him to the hospital, pacing the hospital frantically, still covered in blood. He’s not sure whose it is. They were both bleeding.

Suddenly, he looked at his blood soaked arms, something was wrong. Something new adorned his bloodied wrists.

There’s a mark. A mark that shouldn’t be there. The mark of a soulmate.

Grian dreaded whenever he would walk into Taurtis’ hospital room. The suspense was killing him. He wasn’t welcomed back in. Instead he was told that Taurtis couldn’t have visitors for the next few days. He had to tell Sam.

He had to break the news to Sam about this whole thing. He had to hide his soulmate mark. If Grian wanted a chance at survival, he couldn’t tell anyone about the mark. Knowing his luck it probably wasn’t even Taurtis. Probably one of the doctors who took his body or something.

The next few days was a series of events that Grian wasn’t fully there for. He was suddenly forced to be Taurtis, forced to eat plastic, forced to act as the one person he loves while he fights for his life in a hospital bed. Then they met “Jerry.”

Jerry is said in parentheses because Jerry is Taurtis. Jerry is the same man who Grian is hopelessly in love with. Jerry who now has a mark on his wrist, the exact same as Grian’s.

Grian had to pause to process it. They were soulmates this whole time. Now he’s pretending to be his soulmate and he doesn’t even know him anymore. He wants to cry and laugh at the same time. Perfect person, wrong time. The universe always had to do something to Grian to mess up his life.

That is until Taurtis got his memories back. Grian watched his entire expression light up at the soulmate mark.

“Grian! I got my mark!” He cheered. Grian couldn’t help but chuckle. His very mark is hidden under his red suit. Sam is still confused about Taurtis and Jerry, but that doesn’t matter. Seeing Taurtis this happy has to be the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

“I wonder who it is! I hope I didn’t meet them when I was- what did you call me? Jerry! Right!” Taurtis says, cringing at the thought of it. Grian smiled at him. This was his soulmate. This was the person who he’d love. Maybe the universe wasn’t so cruel.

“You already had the mark when you first showed up as Jerry.” Grian says, amusement lacing into his voice. Taurtis looks at him confused. Right. He’s dealing with a moron. He isn’t going to pick up on his clues.

“Huh? Then maybe it was the doctors!” Taurtis says it like he’s making a point. Grian’s wings flutter as he laughs quietly. His soulmate is right in front of him and he’s still convinced that it’s anyone but Grian. The person who saved him.

“Taurtis. It’s not any of the doctors.” Grian says plainly, as if he isn’t internally screaming. He’s right there.

“Then who is it?” Taurtis asks, looking confused. If it isn’t the doctors then who could it possibly be?

Grian slowly rolls up his sleeve and reveals the mark. The same mark in the same spot. It’s perfect. The two are the same shade. Everything Taurtis ever wanted. Everything Grian swore he’d never like. Grian can feel his cheeks heating up under Taurtis’ gaze, his head wings moving to almost shield his face out of embarrassment.

“You’re… You’re my soulmate..?” Taurtis questions, shocked. Of all people. It’s Grian. The same guy he’d been thinking about more recently. The same guy with perfect dirty blonde curls and beautiful wings. He can feel his eyes fill with tears.

“I am.” Grian says, breathlessly. It’s as if the moment paused time itself. He feels his breath hitch as Taurtis takes a step closer to him, “May I?” He asks, a hand coming up to cup Grian’s cheek.

Grian can feel himself turn red with his wings fluttering. He nods eagerly and leans in to kiss him. Maybe soulmates aren’t so bad after all.

Chapter Text

Music blasted in Grian’s ears. It led to a point where it was almost painful. This could’ve been avoided.

The thing about Hermitcraft that Grian had grown to dislike was its tendency for parties. He’s never good in those environments, mainly due to how high school had grown to leave an impact on him.

Tonight was a bigger party than normal. Friends and Family day was a day once a month where members could invite friends and family to visit. Some anniversary or something had been the same day. The hermits decided to throw a party and invite everyone.

Taurtis was his invite almost every time. The two were married and though they didn’t publicly talk about it unless asked, literally everyone knew the two were together in some way. He had talked to Taurtis and mentioned it over the phone, Taurtis insisted on going. He claimed it would be good bonding for him and the other hermits, plus he’d be with Grian too. He wouldn’t be alone. He had always enjoyed those spaces. Grian didn’t.

They were always so loud and people always made small talk. The scent of alcohol would linger in the air and it was enough to make him almost feel sick. Being an avian, he always had stronger hearing. He hated how he could hear pretty much everything happening in the confined space. Mixing all of those things together led to him, most of the time, needing to leave early so he didn’t have a complete breakdown. Taurtis still insisted. Grian loved Taurtis and trusted him.

That’s how he ended up at the party.

It was starting to get to his head. He could hear the music blasting so loudly it was starting to give him a headache, or maybe it’s his glasses? Probably a mix of both. Whatever it was had been making his night terrible. He’s been trying to stick by Taurtis’ side, mostly for the sake of his own sanity and having a grounding presence, but Taurtis had slipped off somewhere. He didn’t know where.

Grian had walked aside to a wall, drink in hand, and leaned against it. The fact that he is holding alcohol isn’t helping him at all. Other hermits had cast him concerned glances, mostly because they were aware that these parties weren’t the best environment for him. His response was to give them the fakest smile he could manage and continue whatever he was doing before. God he wished he could find Taurtis.

Without that presence it’s hard for him to not slip away into his mind, focusing on his racing head rather than the environment that seemed too hot yet too cold, too bright yet too dark, and too loud yet too quiet. Part of Grian wants to cry. He wants to scream and sob and just leave this place and maybe preen his wings before going to bed. He could feel all of them drooping slightly. His head plumes twitched and he could feel it.

A few hermits came up to him and made small talk, probably just trying to make sure he wasn’t all alone. He appreciated the effort, but he wasn’t in a very talkative mood. He just wanted to get Taurtis and get out of the party. He wished he knew where to find him, but he didn’t, and he wasn’t about to go on a wild goose chase trying to find his husband.

He could feel too much. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t actually recognized when Taurtis’ presence returned by him. Because he was too deep in his hatred of this environment.

“-rian?” Taurtis was saying, a concerned look placed on his face. Grian had to blink himself back to the reality around him for a moment. He forced a smile that didn’t feel convincing to wear.

“Grian? You with me?” Taurtis asked, tilting his head with it. Grian nodded, grabbing his hand. Taurtis looked at him, confused until Grian squeezed it 4 times.

That was their own little code for ‘I need to leave.’ It was a safety net they made because both of them knew Grian hated these places. They both knew how badly he handled them, especially when he’s left alone. Taurtis immediately feels guilty, moving to lace his fingers together with Grians, “Right. Let’s get out of here then.” He said, taking his headphones off from around his neck and placing them over Grian’s ears, turning on a playlist the two had made together softly.

The next few minutes passed in a blur. Taurtis needed to tell X he was taking Grian home for the night and apologized, mainly so people wouldn’t go seek him out. X gave them a sympathetic look and agreed. After that, Taurtis immediately took Grian back to his base, not bothering with trying to make small talk. He wanted to give Grian some peace with the quiet music and fresh air to calm down a bit. Grian appreciated that.

They were lucky that due to the party, they made the visitors day into two days so that people could have privacy. At least the two could still share a day together that would be mutually enjoyed.

At Grian’s base, Taurtis immediately started rambling out apologies, “I’m sorry for leaving you! I should’ve known you were bad at handling parties and I still left you alone!”

“Taurtis, it’s alright. You were having fun.” Grian says, immediately taking off his glasses and hooking them onto the collar of his shirt, “But you weren’t. I’m still sorry.”

Grian softly laughs, finally stepping into his room and immediately settling into his nest, “It’s fine. Really. I had a little fun, it just wasn’t the best at the end.” He says honestly, beckoning for Taurtis to follow and sit next to him.

Taurtis immediately follows. Allowing Grian to lay his head into his lap. Taurtis takes his glasses and places them on the end of the nest. He takes off the headphones from Grian and puts them next to his glasses. He immediately unplugs them from his phone and starts playing the music softly as background noise.

“I’m glad you enjoyed at least a bit of it, even if the end wasn’t the best.” Taurtis says, gently beginning to run his fingers through the long head plumes, sorting the feathers back into place gently, “Of course I would enjoy it, I was with you.” Grian responds, allowing himself to relax against Taurtis.

Taurtis smiles, leaning down to press a kiss against his forehead. Not much else needs to be passed between the two. They settle into a comfortable silence as Taurtis continues his gentle combing through Grian’s many feathers. It's peaceful.

“I love you,” Taurtis says as Grian drifts off.

“I love you too.”