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“Can’t believe it’s over.” James Potter said, stoically, as he stared out of the Gryffindor common room window at the still sunny sky that evening. Summer was fast approaching and fifth years had finished their final O.W.L’s, sitting their final exam that afternoon.
The Marauders had all decided to celebrate by sneaking some firewhisky up stairs (Sirius had bribed one of the seventh year girls to buy it for him.) and drinking themselves silly.
“It’s not actually over. We still have one more year left.” Pete said from his space in front of the fire where he was charming the embers into animal shapes as Marlene sat across from him staring at them in wonder. Remus watched over Pete fondly, he’d helped him master the charm four weeks ago and was glad that Pete hadn’t messed it up since. Remus knew he’d be in a foul mood if his charms exam had been a failure and judging by Peter's mood it had gone swimmingly.
“Yeah, not if you’re Evans or Moony, then you’ll be here another year.” Mary said from her Perch on the sofa next to Lily.
Sirius, who was sitting on the floor next to Mary's legs, whipped his head around to face Remus in the armchair. “What? You’re staying another year, Moons?” He asked, sounding genuinely gobsmacked. Remus, who was flicking through a worn book, in which the cover had completely faded, didn’t look up at his friend's outrage.
He just shrugged and said “Thought about it. Haven’t decided anything yet.”
Sirius narrowed his eyes at him curiously. “Fair enough.” He resigned. A look crossed his face like he wanted to question him further, but he dropped it quickly but not before glancing sideways at Mary.
“It’s been a good year though.” James commented, leaving his perch on the window ledge to sit on the other armchair across from Remus.
“Yeah for some.” Sirius rolled his eyes and took a swig of his firewhisky. “I spent most of my free time in detention. First year on the quidditch team and I barely saw a broom.”
“Yeah and who’s fault was that?” Remus laughed under his breath.
“I blame Prongs. Nine times out of ten it was his ideas that got me in trouble.”
“Don’t blame me, it’s your fault you got caught.” He chucked a pillow at Sirius’ head who caught it before it made contact and launched it straight back at his friend. Lily warned “Enough boys, it’s too late for play fights.” when James looked like he was going to toss the pillow back.
Her tone was sharp but Remus could hear the humor in it.
He’d noticed it quite a lot recently, her softness towards James. It wasn’t that she wasn’t nice most of the time but more that James was infuriating at the best of times. As the years went on it seemed she had learnt to be less frustrated by him.
Remus felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Mary next to him, gesturing for the bottle of alcohol that sat on the table on the other side. She had a habit of leaving her wand in her room most days and Remus was used to sending items flying across the room for her.
“I for one have had a great year!” Mary said, uncorking the bottle with a pop and topping up her glass halfway with the amber liquid. Marlene snickered from her place by the fire. “Yeah, if we’re measuring success by how many blokes you’ve snogged.” She laughed.
“Oi, don’t make me out to be a total slag! I’ve only kissed five boys in my life.”
“To be fair, Mary, you did kiss four of them this year.” Lily laughed from next to her, her cheeks a light tint of pink from the alcohol.
At this point they were roughly three drinks in and well on their way to a hangover in the morning.
“Are you both calling me slags now?” Mary said, false outrage on her face which she didn’t maintain for long as she burst out giggling.
“If the shoe fits, Macdonald.” Sirius jokes.
“Hey, If anyone's a slag here, it’s Moony. He’s kissed pretty much everyone in this room!”
Sirius once again whipped his head around at Marys words, quickly facing his friend, whose eyes were already on him.
“Thanks Mary” he said, looking away to glare at the girl still giggling on the sofa. “Sorry Moony, but it’s true!” she said. “At least you’re a good kisser though!” She added, genuinely.
He rolled his eyes at her comments and pretended to flick through his book, trying to hide the small smirk that crossed his lips.
“Who have you kissed here Moony?” Sirius choked out in shock.
“He’s one of the lads I kissed this year.” Mary said, sending a wink his way. Sirius pushed her legs in shock. “What? I heard on good authority he was a good kisser and I wanted to find out for myself.” She shrugged, taking another gulp of the liquid.
Everyone looked shocked apart from Lily at this confession. Remus looked as casual as always as he attempted to ignore the conversation.
“Moony I thought you were gay?” Pete asked, abandoning his ember animals to move closer to the coffee table in the center of them all, his eyes widening in confusion.
Remus replied, calmly “I am wormtail.” He shrugged “ Mary said she wanted to try and we were a bit high so I said sure why not.” A light smile crossed his lips as he added “Not too bad yourself either Macdonald.” Sending a wink her way.
“Such a shame you like dick Moony. Oh the things I would do to you.” She mused and everyone laughed.
“So what, kissing you makes him a slag, does it Mary?” Sirius chirped.
“No, He’s also kissed Lily.”
“Mary! I told you that in confidence.” the redhead shot up in her chair as she went red in embarrassment.
“And James.” Mary continued as if Lily hadn’t said anything.
At this James blushes, his eyebrows narrowing at her. “Yeah well Remus kissed Marlene in third year!” James shot out. It was a weak defense. “Yeah, we dated Potter! And I’ll have you know Moonys probably the best male kisser I’ve ever known.” Marlene winked at Remus laughing. “I’m the only male kisser you’ve ever known.” He laughed back.
“Just me and Pete you haven’t kissed then.” Sirius looks shocked. Remus pales slightly, his eyes shifting to Pete on the flor who is pulling at a piece of threadbare carpet.
“No!” Sirius pretty much yells. “You and Pete have kissed? When did this happen?”
“None of your business, Black.” Pete scowls.
“Am I the only one who you haven’t kissed?” Sirius pretty much yells, turning to face Remus. “I feel left out now! Go on Moons give us a snog.”
“No” Remus laughs, shifting in his seat, toying with the edges of his book nervously.
“Why not? Everyone else has had a go, go on” Sirius puckers his lips mockingly.
“No I’m not a toy you can't ‘have a go’ Pads.” He jokes but there’s an air of seriousness to his voice as his eyes shift to James with a pleading look on his face.
“Awwww don’t be a buzzkill. One kiss. I can’t believe you have kissed practically everyone here and not me!”
“Maybe your breath stinks Sirius?” Lily chimes in jokingly but Sirius doesn’t miss her giving Remus a concerned look. Remus gives her a thankful one in return.
“Evans butt-out I just ate a banana muffin and they’re his favourite. You’ll love it! Oh Moony go on, we’ll go upstairs not in front of everyone.” He moves over to Remus looking up into his eyes, batting his thick eyelashes at him. Remus ignores him for the book in his hands. He’s only half joking now.
He can’t help wondering why Moony doesn’t want to even consider it. They were friends at the very least. He’d kissed all the girls and he was gay for crying out loud. Sirius had to be more appealing than them, surely.
“Pads leave it.” James pipes up, rolling his eyes at Sirius’ attempt to sidle up to Remus.
“I’m not kissing you Pads.” He was stern this time.
“Why not? I can brush my teeth if the banana doesn’t do it for you?”
Remus ignores him, and shoves out of his seat aggressively, storming towards the stairs. Sirius looks to his friends who have all turned away from him, clearly averting his gaze.
Did they know something he didn’t? Maybe they were starting to clock on that he wasn’t really joking, asking Moony to kiss him. Were they catching on that he had thought about kissing his friend every day for the past six months? That mabe they could see it in his eyes that he was a little bit in lov with the boy who had just left the common room.
After a moment of awkward silence he asked “Am I really that awful he doesn't want to kiss me?” The realisation this might be true makes a put form in his stomach. His friends’ faces all turn to look at him then
It’s James who answers. “He said to leave it Sirius. It’s not always about you.” Sirius scanned his friends’ faces. None of them were really looking him in the eye. In fact they were all looking at each other like they were in on some information he wasn’t privy to. “Fine if you’re all gonna be like that.” Sirius headed up the stairs after his friend, barely hearing Lily shout his name “Sirius don’t! Just leave him for a bit.”
He got to the large wooden door and halted before entering, knocking lightly on the wood. No answer came from inside so he slowly pushed it open. Remus stood, his hands bared widely on the foot of his bed, his shoulders slightly hunched with his back to the door.
“Hey.” Sirius said trepidatiously. Remus didn’t move a muscle, just hummed in response. “I’m really sorry. I was just messing around. It was supposed to be a joke. Not a very good one I guess.” Sirius laughed, still his friend didn’t move. “Look Remus I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Can you turn around so I can apologise properly?”
Sirius watches Remus’ shoulders fall as he sighs, relenting, and turning round to face him. His face is unreadable but at least he doesn’t look as mad as he did downstairs. Sirius doesn’t dwell on the fact he looks deflated as he plans on changing it swiftly.
“I’m really sorry Moons. It was such a dumb joke I was being really bloody stupid. And I wish I could take it back. I really do, it was inappropriate. I guess it just shocked me… you’ve kissed … everyone.”
“That surprised people want to kiss me huh?” There’s a slight edge to his tone but also a small smirk on his lips.
“No! Not that. I’m just surprised you’d want to kiss everyone.” Everyone but me, he thought.
“I don’t want to kiss them all now. It wasn’t about attraction, Sirius. It was mostly just circumstance.”
“Yeah fair I get that. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“It’s fine, Pads.” Sirius almost lets out a sigh of relief at the nickname. Remus only calls him Sirius when he’s angry which isn’t very often. Having only been called Sirius for the past five minutes was already putting him on edge and the nickname always sounded better on Moonys lips.
“So we’re friends again?” He sheepishly takes a step forward.
“We were never not friends, Padfoot.”
Sirius smiles at that and there’s a lingering silence between them. It’s never usually awkward like this.
“You don’t have to answer but it’s gonna kill me if I don’t ask. Is it something I did?” Sirius knows this could result in Remus getting angry again but the gnawing feeling in his gut makes the words blurt out.
“Was what, something you did, Padfoot?” Remus asks, a little exasperated.
“Why you don’t want to kiss me? I get you aren’t attracted to me but you said so yourself it was never about attraction with the others.”
“Padfoot.” He says in warning.
“Did Mary tell you I was a bad kisser? Because I haven’t kissed her since we were thirteen I swear I’m a lot better at it now. I’ve had loads of practice.” His tone is almost begging now and it’s quite pathetic.
“Why do you care so much, Pads?” Remus’ tone isn’t probing or angry. Just matter-of-fact.
Sirius tries to play it off cool but he looks down at his feet. He’s not sure why but Remus’ gaze on him is making him flustered. Like if he looks too long he’ll go blind. Like the sun. “I Guess I just wanna know what all the fuss is about. Have a taste of Gryffindors Casablanca… whatever that means.”
Remus snorts. “It’s Casanova. Casablanca’s a muggle film. Casanova was a- You know what, nevermind, it doesn’t matter.” He laughs again.
Not a big laugh, a small smirk and he turns away as if to hide it.
“I just can’t. Okay” He trails off, a sad look crossing his face.
“Okay.” Sirius says, trying to keep the disappointment off his tone. The air becomes stale between them once more and Sirius feels like he should open the window, stick his head out and gulp down as much air as possible.
But in usual Sirius Black fashion he jokes it off instead. “Who knows maybe it’s you missing out not me. Maybe I’m the real Katabasis of Gryfindor tower.”
“It’s Casanova!” He can’t hide this laugh as it escapes his mouth, full and wholehearted. When he finally stops laughing he takes a step towards Sirius, a resounding look across his face.
“I’m gonna regret this.” He murmurs shaking his head. “Fine, Pads. Just this once, I’ll kiss you.”
“Moony you don’t have to, I don't want you to do it because you think you have to.” Remus is smiling though and the tension from earlier has lifted.
“Do you want the Casanova experience or not Sirius?”
“Not if it makes you uncomfortable.” Remus steps forward again and there isn’t much space between them now.
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
“I don’t want to force you. I was just-”
“Pads?”
“Yes?”
“I’m gonna kiss you now.”
“Okay.” Sirius breathes out. And he does.
Their lips connect and Remus’ are soft and smooth against his own. Warm with a sweet taste. They move languidly over one another, slow and steady at first. Sirius feels a hand come up behind him as Remus leans against the wall, towering over him and he realises he’s sunk slightly lower as if his body is melting slowly. Really there's only a couple of inches between them but like this Remus feels so tall.
Remus’ other hand has made its way into Sirius’ hair and grasps lightly at the base of his neck, tilting his head to the perfect angle causing his lips to part. His tongue wastes no time and slips in between Sirius’ parted lips causing his stomach to flip inside. He feels his blood heat as Remus’ left thigh moves slowly between his own which are barely managing to keep him up.
Sirius realises then that his own hands aren’t doing anything he’s just become one limp mess. His brain struggles to remember what to do as Remus’ tongue moves against his own. Sirius can feel his heart rate increase and his breathing become laboured and less steady. He finally manages to push his brain into action and his hands move to Remus’ shoulders to grip at the material of his thin school shirt. Sirius swears he hears Remus moan slightly and his skin vibrates at the thought.
His hands move further up Remus’ neck into his hair as he pulls him closer needing to taste him more. Remus’ leg becomes further lodged between Sirius’ now grazing against his crotch and he’d be lying if he said his trousers were not significantly tighter than before all this kissing. But he doesn’t have time to think about that and what it means and his feelings. Because Remus Lupin is kissing him and it’s the best kiss he’s ever experienced.
Sirius can’t help as his hips begin to move slightly against his as if separate from his own mind and of their own free will. He feels Moony smile against his lips and raise his leg further moving it back and forth.
Their mouths continue to move in perfect synchronicity. It's wet, it’s messy, it's delicious and Sirius doesn’t want any of it to end. But it does.
Remus is the one to end the kiss and Sirius' brain feels like it’s shut down. Words won’t form on his swollen lips. He can feel the blush on his cheeks as Remus looks down at him.
“How was that then?” Remus smirks, without missing a beat.
Sirius tries to catch his breath. “Yeah… it was… yeah … really … very good.” He can’t bring himself to look into Remus’ eyes that he can feel burning into him. He keeps his eyes trained on Remus’ throat, watching his Adam's apple bob as he takes deep breaths. The skin is patterned with beautiful scars that Sirius wants to trace with his tongue, taste them for himself.
“Really very good huh?” He smirks, biting his lip and Sirius thinks he may die on the spot.
“How about me?” Sirius asks, trying to keep the tone light and not let on how his brain is racing at a million miles a minute, finally managing to lift his head to look at Remus.
His voice is low and gravely when he answers. “Not a fair comparison. I’ve never really wanted to kiss any of the others before.” And with that Remus moves away from him, and heads downstairs back to the common room, leaving Sirius to spend the next fifteen minutes trying to decipher what he’s just said.