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The comm line was ominously quiet on the trip back to the cave. Steph had been on the receiving end of enough disappointed Batman looks to know when one was being levied at her even if it was from an entirely different Batman, but whatever Dick had wanted to say he’d kept it to himself. Classic Batman, don’t want to be caught lecturing in civilian view. Can’t let the public know he can say more than three words at a time.
Oracle hadn’t said anything either. Not a word since Steph confirmed that she had, in fact, done exactly what Barbara thought she had. At least not to Steph. There was always the chance the Batmobile was full of lively chatter about how stupid her choice had been and what a mistake this whole situation was as they decided amongst themselves maybe they didn’t actually need a Batgirl.
No. They weren’t doing that. That wasn’t going to happen. Barbara had promised. They were a team for as long as Steph wanted them to be, she wasn’t going to just disappear. It would take more than one screw up to change her mind. No matter how close she was to Nightwing, she wouldn’t bend to his wishes or spend her time talking shit about Steph to him, right? Sure, it was weird that she wasn’t saying anything, but to be fair, neither was Steph which was even weirder. This was all fine, they were all taking a few deep breaths after what had happened, before they discussed it. Nothing to worry about.
Somehow that didn’t make the worry go away.
The door to the cave slid open automatically, a sensor on the path responding to her bike. No sooner had she passed into the smooth runway leading into the cave then they whooshed closed behind her and she was sliding into the main hall. The bike had barely come to a stop before she was swinging off and turning towards the computer bay. Which in retrospect was stupid, she should have slowed down and given herself a few more seconds to think about what she was going to say when faced with Barbara, but it was to late to back down now. “Before you say anything, I managed to put out the rest of the fires, and we apprehended the bad guy, so on the whole this was a win.”
It was impressive how unimpressed Barbara looked. If there was a competition for unimpressed expressions she would be a champion. “You also froze Robin.”
“Okay, admittedly not my best move, but in my defense it wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t burst in and started getting-”
The doors swooshed open, the only announcement as the batmobile rushed into the cave silent as the night. Silentier actually. Gotham nights were famously not quiet at all, meanwhile there was barely even a hum coming off the car.
As soon as it stopped Robin hurled himself out of the door and directly towards Steph. It probably would have been intimidating if he wasn’t at least a foot and a half shorter than her and didn’t still have a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “Has no one ever explained the concept of following directions to you?”
Okay, being lectured by Oracle or Batman, that was one thing. She was used to that, so much so she was almost immune. But Steph was not about to let a child lecture her on something he didn’t understand, even if he was the one who’d ended up as an ice cube. “Has anyone ever explained the concept of independent thought to you?”
“Of course they have, but I also know it’s best to listen to experts instead of blindly assuming I know better,” Damian countered, face scrunched in anger. “Haven’t you learned by now-”
“Robin,” Batman’s voice was firm, familiar. Stephanie stiffened. Maybe there was a modulator on the cowl that made their voices’ sound the same. Maybe it was just because of those same white lens staring back at her.
Damian let out an indignant huff and crossed his arms, but did shut up. Which was nice. What was less nice was the way Batman’s attention shifted to her. At least he wasn’t yelling yet. “But he has a point. If you can’t listen to simple directions than you-”
“Hang on,” Steph blurted out. Her instincts screamed at her to stop, to pull back and let him get his frustration out before offering an explanation that might fix the situation, but she swallowed it back. This wasn’t her Batman. Maybe he had the same voice and same eyes and same superiority complex, but it wasn’t him. Dick had only gotten the role a couple weeks before she’d become Batgirl. What gave him the right to lecture her? “Last time I checked, Batgirl isn’t a sidekick. Just because you’re the Big Bad Bat now that doesn’t mean you get to make all of the calls. I’m not Robin I don’t-”
There was a slight laugh from the side. “Not anymore.”
“Robin.”
“At least I’m not-”
“Enough!” “
Barbara wasn’t any louder than the rest of them, but all of their attention shifted to her, silent. She let out a breath, then leveled them with her signature unimpressed look. “Robin, Batgirl, upstairs. I need to talk with Batman, we’ll figure out what the next steps are and fill you in once everyone has cooled down.”
“If that was an attempt at a j-”
“Damain,” Batman cut him off, but when he spoke again Dick’s voice was lighter “I’ve learned from experience that when Oracle gives you an order it’s best to listen.”
There was a moment where Damian seemed like he was going to argue, but ultimately he muttered something to himself and turned to go.
Stephanie rolled her eyes, but moved to follow.
Than stopped dead. She watched as Damian stalked towards the stairs in the corner of the cave, then followed the railing up to the single solitary door. Closed tight. Like always.
It wasn’t a secret anymore, Steph knew what was on the other side of the door. She knew who was behind the mask. Bruce Wayne was Batman and the Batcave was nestled snugly under Wayne Manor. She’d known for almost a year now. If she went up the stairs and through the door she would be in Bruce Wayne’s house, and it wouldn’t matter at all because she already knew the secret.
But her feet wouldn’t move. This was wrong. Going up the stairs was outside of her access level. She was here as Batgirl, she interacted with Batman and Oracle and Robin, she wasn’t supposed to cross the boundary into their personal lives.
“Batgirl.” The name sent a jolt through her. Steph blinked, swallowed, and forced her face into something close to irritation as she looked back at Barbara. “That wasn’t a suggestion.”
“Yeah, got it. Go sit at the kids’ table with the Brat Wonder well the adults talk,” Steph raised her hands in mock surrender, hoping the teasing lilt to her voice wasn’t to forced.
Her face was falling before she’d even fully turned back, but if Barbara saw she didn’t call her on it. Probably to distracted with Dick to notice.
Steph forced her feet forward. Every step was like wading through mud, but she managed to make it all the way to the stairs before she paused. Just for a moment. A deep breath, and she was shaking her feet free of the clumps holding them down and starting to climb. Her hand found the railing automatically, and she clung to it. Used it to drag herself up, one step after the other.
It was like her feet had gone to sleep, making her aware of every single stair as pins shot through her legs. Not painful, but undeniably wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Barbara must not know. She’d sent Steph up here so offhandedly that it was the only option that made sense. She should turn, call down to her and explain that this was against the rules, that if she needed Stephanie to leave she was supposed to kick her out not force her in.
Damian had left the door open, light streaming onto the landing. As she got closer she could see the manor side wasn’t a door at all, but a section of wall with a grandfather clock bolted into it. A secret entrance. How very James Bond. The absurdity of it was enough of a distraction to carry her up the last few steps, and once she was on the landing Steph couldn’t help but turn towards the doorway, curiosity outweighing any creeping fear.
On the other side was a hallway. That was all, just a hallway. Not even a particularly fancy one. Blue walls, hard wood floors, and a few paintings.
Slowly, Stephanie forced her foot over the threshold, putting her weight into the manor.
No alarm went off. She wasn’t suddenly pulled up to the ceiling or flung backwards over the railing.
There was a small squeak of a floorboard, the same as there would be in any other house. That was all. Nothing out of the ordinary.
She reached behind her to close the door, but her hand froze before it actually touched the clock. Knowing Batman there was some intricate lock that would keep outsiders from being able to enter the cave.
Better to leave it open anyway, they needed to be able to hear when Barbara and Dick called them back down. The sound proofing must be crazy in this place, couldn’t risk a stranger accidentally hearing something from down in the cave. Steph let her hand drop, back foot coming up to stand next to the other.
And that was it.
Stephanie Brown was standing in Wayne Manor and nobody was there to see it or care.
Damian must have stormed off to find a change of clothes or maybe rant to Alfred about what had happened, leaving nobody between her and the end of the hallway.
She could go anywhere, do anything. There was a door to the left about halfway down the hall and nothing to keep her from walking up and opening it. Even if it was locked there were plenty of options in her belt to crack it open. Or she could keep going. Walk down the hall and further into the house. What could she find if she did enough poking around? How far could she get before anyone realized she was there? Would anyone stop her if she let herself into the kitchen and started making a snack or dug her way through Tim’s room?
It was all laid out in front of her. No more secrets. Everything that had been so carefully kept out of her view was now suddenly on full display.
Letting out a breath, she started to make her way down the hall.
She made it one whole step.
What was the plan? To wander endlessly through Wayne Manor in hopes of… what? Proving that she could? To who? Bruce Wayne was dead.
Besides, what difference did it make? She wouldn’t suddenly start to feel more at home just because she was technically allowed to be there, and even if she would have, she didn’t really care. Not that long ago just standing there, on the other side of the door, would have meant the world to her, but now it didn’t seem to matter. It was just an empty house, and Steph didn’t need it to be anything more.
It was enough to know she could keep going if she wanted to, but she didn’t. There was nothing in here for her, Bruce had made sure of that. She wasn’t going to go crawling through his home trying to find some scrap of understanding now that he was dead. She’d already pushed past the expectations just by standing there and she’d done it on her own through determination and spite. Anything more would just be a sign she was still that same desperate girl clinging to any scrap of acceptance. Which she wasn’t anymore, she didn’t need to prove anything.
Steph sat down, making herself comfortable two steps inside of Wayne Manor. Two steps further than she was ever supposed to be able to get.