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“So…”
“So,” Eddie repeated.
“That was a pretty good first date.”
“Only pretty good?”
Buck clasped his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his feet.
The two of them were standing outside their front door, smiling and blushing and keeping a respectful twelve inches of distance between them.
“I can think of something that would take it up to perfect,” Buck said coyly.
Buck had counted no less than six attempts to kiss him tonight. He found it so endearing to watch Eddie lean in just a fraction before getting shy and turning away. But god help him, either Eddie Diaz was going to kiss Buck tonight or they were going to die on this front step. Dealer’s choice.
“Okay, I’ve got this,” Eddie said, more to himself than to Buck. “It’s fine, and I’ve got this.”
“Eddie, you’re panicking.”
“Hey!” He pointed that infamous finger at Buck. “I don’t panic.”
Buck folded his arms, amused. As much fun as it was to watch Eddie squirm, Buck was getting kind of desperate. He wasn’t exactly known for his patience.
They hadn’t kissed yet, despite both admitting they had feelings for one another and living together. It was actually kind of strange. They shared a bed, they cuddled, they flirted a nauseating amount. But no kiss. Not that there hadn’t been the chance, but Eddie seemed kind of skittish about it, so Buck didn’t push. Three days was a long time to go without kissing your best friend when he’d saved you from a building collapse, asked you out on a date, and suggested moving in all in one fell swoop.
“I want this to be good,” Eddie said.
Good? Buck had been chasing Eddie’s ghost in other partners for years only to come up short, all their fist bumps have been more electric than most of the kisses he’d had with other people, and Eddie was worried about it being good?
“I guarantee you that’s not going to be a problem.”
“Guarantee, huh?”
“I’ll even close my eyes,” Buck offered. “But for whatever it’s worth, I’m dying to kiss you.”
Eddie hummed and shifted on his feet. He put one hand on Buck’s neck, thumb skimming along his jaw. In turn, Buck put a hand on Eddie’s waist. Then, Eddie put a hand on Buck’s arm, so Buck brought his other hand to Eddie’s lower back and pulled him closer.
“All out of hands,” Buck teased.
For a few seconds, Eddie just stared at Buck’s lips. Then he muttered, “Ah, fuck it.”
Eddie nearly knocked Buck off balance. His lips were soft but insistent, drawing the sweetest sigh of adoring satisfaction out of Buck. Hands down, it was the best first kiss Buck had ever received. Definitely worth the wait.
“Wow,” Buck breathed.
“Good?”
“Perfect.”
It seemed like butterflies had taken up permanent residence in Buck’s stomach. All Eddie had to do nowadays was look at him to give Buck a rush of giddy anticipation. As Eddie unlocked their front door, he grabbed Buck’s hand and tugged him inside.
“Tell you what,” Eddie began, wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist and holding him close. “Why don’t you go get changed into something comfortable, and I’ll get us drinks.”
“Kiss me first.”
“Is that how it’s going to be now?” Eddie asked through a laugh.
Buck nodded. He wasn’t going to be shy about it. Now that they’d gotten the first kiss out of the way, Buck planned to have their lips connected more often than not. Luckily, Eddie excelled in giving Buck everything he wanted, so he leaned in and kissed him again.
“I’ll expect more of that when I’m back!” Buck said over his shoulder as he walked down the hall.
“I had no doubt!” Eddie called back.
Comfy. Okay, he could do comfy. Logically, Buck knew he didn’t have to impress Eddie. And it wasn’t like Buck was expecting sex, he was more than happy to take it slow. But if their first kiss was anything to go by, that step was approaching rapidly. He could nudge it along, right?
Buck pulled open the top drawer of their dresser. Right on top was an LAFD t-shirt with ‘Diaz’ written across the back. Yeah, that would probably do it.
He changed quickly into sweats, only a little embarrassed that his sixty second separation from Eddie made Buck miss him. Just as he was pulling the shirt over his head, someone started pounding on the front door.
“Eddie, can you get that?” Buck yelled. No response. The harsh knocking continued. “Eddie?” Buck tried again. Nothing. So he jogged out of the bedroom, confused and startled that someone was at the door at 10pm.
Buck opened the door to see Eddie and a six-pack standing on the other side.
“Hey,” Eddie said.
“Hey?” Buck responded, more confused than ever. “Is this a joke? Because I don’t get it.”
“You doing anything?” Eddie handed Buck a beer and brushed past him into the house. “I have to talk to you about this date I had tonight.”
“The date we just went on?”
“No,” Eddie said, and Buck could hear the silent ‘duh’ at the end. “I just went on a date with the perfect guy, and now I’m here to debrief about it with my best friend.”
Buck smiled so, so wide. “Oh. Yeah, okay.”
“You wearing my shirt?” Eddie asked, flopping down on the couch and opening a bottle of beer.
“Yeah.” Buck joined him on the couch.
Eddie let out a long exhale. “Not sure this guy will like that. Jealous type, you know?”
“I can imagine. Tell me about him.”
This game was fun. Buck couldn’t stop smiling. The only reservation he’d had about dating Eddie was the brief fear that he’d lose his best friend. And, yeah, he’d gain a boyfriend in the process, but Buck’s friendship with Eddie was essential to his quality of life. But Eddie had assured Buck he didn’t have to worry about it, and here Eddie was, proving that to be true.
“He’s tall, built, has these striking blue eyes you can’t look away from.” Eddie sighed dreamily. “Got the kind of broad chest you wanna take a nap on and the kind of hips you wanna straddle.”
“Wow,” Buck laughed. “He sounds hot.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe, Buckley. You know what else?” Eddie asked, turning his whole body to face Buck properly. “He’s amazing with Chris. Sometimes I’ll just watch them hanging out and my chest hurts from how right it all feels.”
Buck knew they were playing a game, but it felt like something more too. Like there was something at the end of this second-hand flattery rainbow.
“You seem to be really into this guy,” he prompted, hoping for something solid. If Eddie felt more comfortable talking about his feelings this way, Buck was definitely going to fish for information. He knew what they had was real, but old habits die hard.
“I don’t know that I have the words to express how into this guy I am,” Eddie admitted, inching closer to Buck. “See, we’ve known each other for a long time. I’ve had feelings for him forever, just not the courage to act on them.”
“Why’s that?” Buck’s heart felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest.
“He’s just so…” Eddie trailed off and exhaled, gesturing vaguely into the air. Clear communication was taking a real hit tonight, but the way he smiled and his eyes went wide, Buck knew it was a compliment. “And I think I was worried about deserving him.”
Oh. That wasn’t something he ever needed to worry about. “Eddie—”
“But,” Eddie interjected. “I know that was just me in my own head.”
“Good!” Buck put his hand on Eddie’s thigh and waited, unsure what the rules of this game were. When Eddie didn’t move his hand away, Buck continued. “I bet he’s crazy about you too.”
“I hope so. Think he’s getting a little impatient with me, though.”
A cry of indignation sat on Buck’s tongue, because that was not true! He’d have waited forever for Eddie to kiss him if it hadn’t been so painfully clear that Eddie wanted to do it but was stalling! None of that got voiced, however, because Buck remembered this wasn’t about him. This was about Eddie’s date.
His thoughts must’ve been readable all over his face, because Eddie was stifling a laugh.
“So we’ve been together for three days,” Eddie went on. “Which is like forever for us, been a long time coming. But I only just kissed him tonight, and even then, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go through with it until it happened.”
“Did, uh, did you not want to kiss him?” Buck shifted nervously. Had he pressured Eddie into kissing him? Surely not. Right? But Buck was so used to Eddie giving in to his every whim that maybe he’d been too forward or pushed too hard—
“Hey.” Eddie took Buck’s jaw in his hand and turned him so their eyes met. “I wanted to kiss him.”
Buck let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
“I think he’s probably wondering what took me so long,” Eddie clarified. “This is where I need your advice as my best friend.”
“Yeah, anything.”
“I kept putting off kissing him because I was nervous.”
And Eddie was still nervous, Buck could tell by the way he was dragging this out. If it went on much longer, Buck was going to have to shatter the illusion and shake some sense into his best-friend-slash-boyfriend to just use his fucking words, for the love of god, before Buck had a heart attack.
“Why would he make you nervous?” Buck asked softly.
“Because I’m in love with him,” Eddie confessed. “How do you think I should tell him?”
Buck’s jaw? Dropped. On the floor. He felt like doing laps and saying ‘What do you mean?’ over and over and over again. Okay and, look, it wasn’t that this came out of nowhere. Seven years and countless unexplainable ‘this is just how we are’s and one ‘now that the competition is out of the way’ and Ravi having been under the impression they were already together… Buck wasn’t stupid. In retrospect, of course they were in love.
Hearing Eddie say out loud that he was in love with Buck, that was a different story. Nothing could’ve prepared him for that. And he was offering Buck the love confession of a lifetime, however he wanted it.
“I-I think, um, you should just… be… yourself?”
Should Buck slam his head into the wall? Or the coffee table?
“Be myself,” Eddie hummed.
“And!” Buck continued, far too loudly. “You want it to be romantic, right? So you should probably hold his hands.”
“Like this?” Eddie held Buck’s hands.
The nerves gave way to giddiness, launching Buck from one form of bashfulness to another. But this was happening, so Buck let his romantic whims run wild.
“Yeah. And… lean in really close so you can say it quietly, like it’s a secret just for the two of you.”
“Like this?” Eddie asked again, soft and low as he leaned in, their lips just inches from one another.
“Uh huh.” Buck swallowed. “Then you should kiss him.”
“What if he doesn’t say it back?”
“Eddie, come on.” Buck rolled his eyes. “Who wouldn’t fall in love with you?”
Eddie smiled and bit his lip; Buck forced himself not to react.
The space between them was nearly non-existent. They were so close that if Buck’s heart leapt from his chest right then, it would find a new home in Eddie’s. Kissing him again wasn’t a want but a need. Maybe it sounded pathetic and desperate, but if Buck didn’t get kissed in the next ten seconds, he was going to do something drastic. This close proximity was clobbering his self-control.
Just as Buck thought ‘Ah, fuck it,’ Eddie jumped up off the couch.
“Gotta get going,” Eddie said. “Thanks for the advice. I’ll take it into consideration.”
“I- um. O-okay. Yeah.”
Buck watched as Eddie half-heartedly waved goodbye and walked out the front door.
What, and Buck means this so seriously, the fuck just happened? Where the hell was Eddie going? They lived together. He’d envisioned coming home from their date and kissing Eddie until they fell asleep. Instead, he was sitting on the couch alone and, worst of all, unkissed. A fate worse than death.
He heard the kitchen door open and went to investigate.
“Buck, I’m so glad you’re home!” Eddie said, exasperated and breathless. “I have something to tell you.”
Eddie hurried him back to the couch, and Buck giggled the entire way. This entire situation was so ridiculous, and it only served to make Buck love him more. He let Eddie adjust him so they were facing one another. This was the best first date of Buck’s life. How he ever thought there was anyone out there for him besides Eddie was a travesty.
“This has been the best first date I’ve ever had,” Eddie began. “And I don’t know if you noticed, but I tried to kiss you like a hundred times tonight.”
“I noticed,” Buck laughed. “You’re cute.”
“I am cute. We should talk more about that later.” Eddie took Buck’s hands in his own. “But there’s something else I want to do first.”
Buck took a deep breath as Eddie leaned in again. He’d better do it this time, because Buck was getting dangerously close to kiss deprivation.
“You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” Eddie said softly. “I kept putting off kissing you because it had to be perfect.”
“It was always going to be perfect because it’s you.”
“Sappy,” Eddie scoffed, but he kissed Buck long deep. “I love you, Buck. And it made me nervous because that’s so huge, you know?”
The words burst from Buck’s chest like they’d been waiting years to escape. “I love you, too. I love you so much.”
“And that’s huge,” Eddie repeated.
“Yeah,” Buck laughed. “That’s huge.”
“But now that I’ve said it… I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying it.”
“Good.” Buck put a hand on Eddie’s chest to hold him down, then straddled him. “I don’t want you to ever stop saying it.”
Eddie smiled so brightly that Buck was sure it’d be burned into his retinas forever. “I love you,” he said. “Can I kiss you again?”
Buck nodded, already leaning in. He couldn’t help but smile into it, feeling the happiest he’d ever been. Maybe the happiest he’d ever be, at least until he woke up tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that, forever. He loved Eddie, loved Eddie’s arms wrapped around his waist, loved the way unconditional adoration looked on them both.
They kissed slowly, lazily, because for the first time, there was no reason to rush. They had time; they had each other.
“Tell me you love me again,” Buck requested, giggling as Eddie whined and chased his lips.
“I love you.”
“Again.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, but that did nothing to stop a rosy blush from blooming on his cheeks or the smile on his lips. “I love you.”
“Again.”
“Knock it off, Buckley.”
“Tell me again,” Buck said, softer this time and punctuated with a featherlight kiss.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”