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“You gave her a key to the brownstone?” Joan can’t keep her voice level. Every time she thinks he's past the boundary-pushing stage, he does something like this.
“I thought it was time, yes,” Sherlock says. His mildness is a tell; he’d be brisk and superior if he honestly thought he was being reasonable.
“You can’t just give my—“
“Lover?” Sherlock interrupts. “Sex buddy? Lesbifriend?”
“—girlfriend a key to your house.” She knows she has to be calm but firm, not give him what he's looking for, but her gut has gone tight and cold at the thought of Mary's reaction.
“Why not?” Sherlock has his Deductive Reasoning face on. Now is not the time for his Deductive Reasoning face. “She cooks – an inefficient choice in a city as replete with takeout as New York, but not unappealing to two of us so lacking in domesticity. She’s irritating, but very seldom tedious. The sex is, from your gait and general mood, at least adequate.”
Eugh. Trust Sherlock to find the worst way possible to try to give her his blessing.
#
When Mary shows up at the brownstone that evening, she rings the bell. Joan reminds herself that Sherlock is a manipulative child who doesn't understand real relationships, but a part of her is still a little disappointed.
Mary is carrying a large tote bag.
"If it isn't the Jewish Mary Poppins," Sherlock says.
"There's a Dick van Dyke joke in there somewhere." Mary reaches into the holdall and hands Sherlock a single cupcake box from the bakery on 5th and Main. "Honey and kale cupcakes: creepy weird, but still kind of sweet."
Sherlock takes the box and starts examining the cupcake.
"And for you," Mary reaches into the holdall again. "A chocolate chai cupcake --" She gives Joan a single cupcake box of her own. "-- the keys to this place --" Which is fine. It's their relationship, not Sherlock's; they'll get there at their own pace. "-- and keys to my place. He's totally gross, but he's right, it is time."
A mouth too full of honey and kale to speak doesn't stop Sherlock from radiating smugness. Joan finds she doesn't care.
"And for me," Mary continues, bringing out a much larger cake box, "six teeny tiny raspberry cheesecakes, for putting up with this crap."
#
After dinner, Joan sits and reads, Sherlock picks locks, and Mary threads fiber optic cable through the base of her LARP-safe lightning bolt. It's so nice that Joan finds herself wondering why she didn't give Mary a key before now.
"She shows up uninvited to sing about cleaning up after people," Mary says. She sounds like she's been bottling this up for a while.
Joan holds out her hand for a Putting Up With This Crap mini cheesecake, which Mary places in it before continuing: "Face it, Holmes, you're wrong.”
Sherlock holds out his hand in expectation of a mini cheesecake. Joan gives a shake of her head, and Mary redirects the last one into her own mouth.
Talking with her mouth full -- and this must be why Joan didn’t give her a key, that’s disgusting, even Sherlock doesn’t do that -- Mary concludes, “Mary Poppins is Jewish."
[Image description: Kale and honey cupcakes. Photo and recipe at CupcakeProject.com.]
[Image description: Chocolate chai cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting. Photo and recipe at WhatMegansMaking.com.]
[Image description: Raspberry cheesecake cupcakes. Photo and recipe at BBC Recipes.]