Chapter Text
Jayce tapped his heel against the concrete floor as he waited for Viktor to finish putting his coat on. They hadn’t even left the lab, but he could already hear the storm that awaited them. While he had deeply considered spending the night at the lab, as both he and Viktor had done countless times, Viktor was insistent that he had to go home, and Jayce wasn’t about to let him wander out into the snowy void on his own.
Even if he did, he likely wouldn't get any sleep. He'd be too busy worrying about whether Viktor made it home, or if something had happened to him on the way. Something that he could have prevented, had he just gone with him.
A gentle hand on his shoulder snapped Jayce from his thoughts. He looked up to see those gorgeous amber eyes looking back at him.
“Are you ready?” Viktor asked softly, clearly asking about more than just if Jayce had his coat and gloves on.
Jayce nodded, choosing to ignore the between-the-lines version of his partner's question.
“Yeah, if you are?”
Though he was doing his best to hide how anxious he truly was, he was also well aware that Viktor could see right through him.
Viktor gave a small sigh. He hated it when Jayce did this. Lying about how he's feeling, making him actually say what he's thinking.
“You really don’t have to walk me home today, Jayce. I have to go home, but you don’t. There's no need for you to put yourself through this much stress for me. Please, just stay here tonight.”
Ordinarily, Viktor would stay in the lab with Jayce when the weather got this bad, but his stash of his daily meds had once again run out, and he had once again forgotten to bring more from home.
Jayce shook his head, “No, I can’t let you go out into that by yourself.” He gestured in the vague direction of outside.
“I agree that the weather is…less than ideal,” Viktor said, adjusting his gloves, making sure they were pulled up over the cuffs of his shirt. “But I will be fine, I may be a cripple, but I'm perfectly capable of getting home on my own, you know.”
“Vik, it's not about that, and you know it's not.” Jayce sighed, “I just– What if it gets worse before you get home? Or if something happens and you don’t even make it home? Or– What if–” Jayce's chest tightened at the thought of losing Viktor, making him lose track of his words.
He wasn't sure what he'd do without his partner. Viktor was the only reason he was even here , and he'd been with the man near constantly since that fateful night. He had come to a point where he couldn't imagine himself without Viktor. Whenever he thought about the future, Viktor was by his side. Anything else felt wrong.
Without Viktor, he'd be lost.
A soft “Jayce,” once again pulled him from his quickly spiralling mind, along with a squeeze from a hand that had never left his shoulder.
“While I do think I would get home just fine on my own, I appreciate how concerned you are. And if you really are certain about this, it would be nice to have your company,” Viktor said with a smile. He truly did appreciate Jayce’s concern; he couldn’t remember the last time someone had cared so much for him. If he were being honest, he couldn’t think of anyone else who would be willing to do something as selfless and stupid as walk him home in a snowstorm, just to make sure he got there safely.
Jayce didn’t hesitate for even a second before answering.
“I’m sure. Let’s get going before it gets any worse out there.”
With a nod from Viktor, the two men walked out of the lab and into the corridors of the Academy. Viktor's free hand made its way to the small of Jayce's back, a habit he had picked up from his partner and found himself doing more and more often as time went on.
Though they were leaving rather early by their standards, the lights throughout the academy had already been turned off for the night, and it seemed they were some of the last, if not the last, staff to be leaving.
While the silence in a usually bustling, noisy place had stopped feeling eerie years ago, the addition of the howling winds that currently echoed through the halls was… unpleasant, to say the least. Even Viktor found himself feeling a little on edge, though he made an effort not to let it show.
As they approached the door, the same one they had come in through in the morning, and left through in the evening for coming on four years now, Viktor could hardly recognise the world he saw through its large glass pane. The carefully manicured lawn, the tall trees he had so recently enjoyed watching change colour, even the other academy building that sat barely thirty metres away, none of them were to be seen. They had been replaced by a seemingly never-ending field of white which engulfed the academy and beyond, not that Viktor could see that far. He could barely see a foot outside the door.
Viktor took a moment to ready himself before placing a hand on the door handle, but when he turned to look at Jayce beside him, he was instead met with the set of lockers that lined the wall. Turning around, he found Jayce stopped in his tracks just a few steps behind him. His eyes were wide and fixed on the window; it almost seemed he was looking straight through Viktor. He stood stiffly, but Viktor could see his hands trembling.
“Jayce,” Viktor said softly as he approached his partner, his hand returning to Jayce's shoulder. “Look at me.”
Jayce continued staring out the window, “That’s– It’s really– I uh–” His voice shook even more than his hands.
Viktor moved his hand to Jayce's cheek and gently pulled his face downwards, “Jayce, I need you to look at me, not outside.” Viktor spoke calmly, putting effort into keeping his tone even and measured.
Jayce's eyes shot down to Viktors, who kept a steady hand on the other man's cheek.
“There we go. Everything is okay, Jayce. We are safe, you are safe.” As Viktor spoke, he slowly guided Jayce, turning him around so he was now facing away from the window.
“Just focus on me, focus on my voice. Can you do that for me?”
Nodding, Jayce gave a quiet, “I–I can try–” He could feel his heart beating in his throat. Every part of him wanted to turn back around, as if being able to see the storm would make him safer somehow. But he did his best to keep his eyes on Viktor. He took in his partner's face, trying to focus on anything other than the storm.
He counted his moles. There’s one on his cheek, two under his other eye, and two on his neck, hidden under his scarf. He didn't think to question why he knew the last one. He looked at the small speckles in his eyes that he’d somehow never noticed before. He listened as Viktor continued to assure him that they were safe, finding more comfort just from his partner's voice than the actual words he was speaking.
Once Jayce seemed somewhat calmer, Viktor removed his hand from the other's cheek, now worrying that may have been too intimate an action.
Jayce, however, immediately missed the warmth of Viktors' hand, though he tried not to let it show.
“I’m going to walk you back to the lab now. I’ll help you set up the couch for the night.” Viktor attempted to begin guiding Jayce back to the lab, but the other man didn’t move.
“No. I still can’t let you– You can’t go out there alone, Vik.”
Jayce Talis had been called many things over the past few years. Brilliant, intelligent, one of the great minds of our generation.
Viktor now felt that ‘Stubborn Bastard’ needed to be put at the top of that list.
Viktor muttered to himself in Zaunite, saying something that loosely translated to ‘give me strength’. He took a deep breath before turning back to his partner. “Jayce, please, just stay in the lab. I’ll get home just fine on my own, you don’t have to-”
“You’re not listening!” Jayce snapped, catching even himself by surprise.
“Shit– I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to– Fuck–” He brought his shaky hands to his face, in disbelief that he had just yelled at Viktor for trying to help him. He was well aware that staying in the lab was what was best for him, but he couldn't let Viktor go alone. He just couldn't.
Unphased by Jayces outburst, Viktor stepped closer to him, his hand quickly finding its place, once again, on Jayce's shoulder.
“You really want to walk me home? You’re so concerned for my safety that you’re willing to face what I understand to be your biggest fear, just to make sure I make it home safe?” Try as he might, Viktor genuinely couldn’t understand the other man's stubbornness on the matter. He was beginning to fear this was some sort of self-destructive breakdown.
There was a long pause as Jayce attempted to construct an answer. Eventually, he lowered his hands back to his sides, eyes fixed on the floor.
“Maybe… Maybe that’s not my biggest fear anymore...”
His words hung in the air as Viktor tried to process what Jayce could possibly mean by that. What could he possibly fear more than-
Oh.
Oh.
Viktor was a hard man to catch off guard. He had the keen insight to see most things coming before they actually happened.
He could tell if potential Hextech benefactors were really going to give what they promised, just from Jayce recounting their conversations back to him.
He had now correctly guessed what Heimerdinger was going to say after their monthly reviews for the last eight months in a row, with a six month streak before that.
And, most helpfully, he had begun to realise an experiment was going to, let’s say, backfire , usually with enough time before it happened to get himself and Jayce a safe distance away. Excluding the incident back in April, that is.
However, he could truly say that no part of him had seen that coming.
Sure, he knew he was important to Jayce, his partner seemingly made an effort to ensure he knew that, but he had assumed he found him important in a business partner sort of way, not in a ‘You dying is my worst fear’ sort of way.
He wasn’t exactly sure how to even begin processing that.
After a few seconds, Viktor realised he should really say something, however disjointed his words were likely to come out.
“Ah. I–I see. That would make sense as to why– Right. Got it.”
Okay, that was a little worse than he was expecting.
Jayce's eyes remained glued to the floor, and Viktor was sure his cheeks weren’t quite that flushed a minute ago.
The wind outside suddenly picked up, reminding Viktor of the actual situation at hand. He looked out the window, then back to Jayce, “Well, if that’s the case, I suppose we’d best get going. It’s not getting any better out there, and likely won't until tomorrow morning.”
Finally looking back up, Jayce let himself look out the window again. The sensation of his heart beating in his throat returned, though slightly less intense this time. Small wins, he thought to himself. He took a few deep breaths and did his best to focus on why he was doing this.
Viktor waited patiently as Jayce readied himself, until finally receiving a small nod and an uneasy smile from the other man. It was now that he realised his hand was still on Jayce's shoulder. He went to move it away, but stopped when he had another thought.
Slowly, he ran his hand down Jayce's arm until their gloved hands were touching. When Jayce didn’t retract, Viktor took the plunge and intertwined their fingers, still bracing for some kind of negative reaction.
But nothing of the sort happened.
For a moment, Viktor feared Jayce was, in fact, pulling away from him. Though, he quickly realised he was adjusting his grip, moving their hands even closer together, before tightening his hand around Viktors.
Shyly, Viktor peered up at the other man, whose cheeks were absolutely not that flushed before he took his hand.
He felt the need to make some kind of comment, to take a little jab at Jayce, as he normally would, but something made him bite his tongue. Instead, he squeezed Jayce's hand and gave him a reassuring smile.
“Just hold onto me, alright? I won't let go of you.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
This earned a more genuine smile from Jayce, who then took one last deep breath as he grabbed the door handle with his free hand. He took one last look at Viktor before pushing the door open.