Work Text:
"Eris!" Scribe Eido of the House of Light waved three of her four arms excitedly from her seat. "Are you here to see the play?"
Eris and the Drifter wove carefully through the narrow aisle formed by rows of chairs until Eris sat down next to the Eliksni with a sigh.
"Apparently," the three-eyed woman intoned.
"Aww… C'mon Moondust," the Drifter sat himself next to Eris. "It won't be that bad."
"I do not share your optimism." Eris looked around herself with mild disdain at everything that was not Eido.
"You're such a stick in the mud. Look," He shoved a steaming bag into her hands. "I got ya popcorn!"
"Hmmm…"
"Just try it. You'll like it." He winked at Eris and nodded cheerfully to Eido.
Voices from the small crowd swirled around them as Eris lifted a single piece of white puffed maize and examined it with suspicion before popping it into her mouth and chewing it thoughtfully.
The Drifter reached into the bag and Eris pulled it away.
"You said you got it for me," she snarled.
"So you do like it," his eyes gleamed.
"It is… palatable," Eris replied.
"Palatable…" the Drifter repeated. "The hell does that even mean?"
Eris did not answer him as she deftly picked a few more pieces from the bag and popped them into her mouth.
The Drifter laughed.
Eido leaned forward to see both of them. "Have you seen any other plays by the Ghost Community Theater?" she asked.
"No," Eris said firmly. "And based upon the title of their last production, I do not think I wish to see this one either." She glared at the Drifter.
He gave her a mildly panicked wide-eyed stare back.
Eris slowly placed a piece of popcorn between her lips, chewed it and swallowed it while maintaining eye contact with him.
"Yes, well…" Eido said awkwardly. "That one was…" the Scribe paused for a moment. "…interesting."
"Hmmm…" Eris' glare softened as she turned back to Eido.
"My understanin' is Oryx the Nightmare Daddy was a uh… acquired taste." Drifter leaned forward as well so Eido could see him.
"Strange," Eris tilted her head. "I seem to remember you using that descriptor for yourself."
The Drifter laughed and asked, "Did you get a program yet?"
"No," the way Eris said it, it was difficult to determine if it was an answer to his question or a refusal.
"Oh!" Eido exclaimed cheerfully. "I ended up with two! You can have one of mine." She handed the pamphlet to Eris who paused her popcorn consumption to take it in one hand and regard it.
Her three eyes narrowed. "Hmmm… This does not fill me with confidence in this production."
"What?" the Drifter waved at someone farther away in the audience before turning back to her. "Ya barely even looked at it."
Eris handed it to him and picked up a few more pieces of popcorn. "They spelled the title wrong."
Drifter looked down at the program. "Mid… Summer… Knight's… Dream," he read out. "I ain't no expert but those words all look spelled right to me."
"Shakespeare's play references night as in darkness, not knight as in Hive."
"Well if that's so… why does it say here that Marcus Ren's Ghost is gonna be playin' the part of Kelgorath?"
"What?" Eris' lip curled in disgust.
"That's Didi!" Eido exclaimed. "She's the Director too!"
Eris sniffed.
"Ooh it's about to start! Can't escape now," the Drifter gave Eris a smug look. "We're stuck here till it's over. Might as well make the best of it." He reached back to put his arm around her.
"Ugh."
***
The final curtain came down to weak, half-hearted applause.
"That was definitely very um…" Eido tilted her head. "Different from what I expected."
"I'm still trying to figure out what happened to the donkey," the Drifter said, clearly confused. "An' what was the talking wall doin' with the Taken Psion? That doesn't even make any sense."
"The deviation from the source material was… extensive…" Eris replied. "I do not think there is any logic in the universe, Sword or otherwise, which would make what we just experienced 'make sense' in any capacity."
"At least the sword fighting and the lasers were fun. And they killed Hive!" the Drifter nudged Eris' shoulder as he spoke. "You like it when things kill Hive."
Eris looked at him with a mixture of condescension and disgust.
"I am curious regarding similarities between this production and… other human cultural displays," Eido said cautiously.
"None exist," Eris said firmly.
"None at all?" All three stood to make their way out of the corridor of chairs as Eido continued. "But what about the three Wizards floating above the pot prophesying doom?"
"The Hive is not present within the original text," Eris asserted.
"Not at all?" Eido asked, confused.
"No," Eris asserted.
"Sounds like they may have, uh, took a bit of… what's that thing? Art license? Anyway, surely there was something you liked about it." He turned to Eris and Eido, walking backwards as he spoke to both of them.
"This has been the most excruciating two hours of my existence," Eris pronounced. "And I survived the Hellmouth."
The Drifter smirked. "Aww… Come on… It wasn't that bad of a date! You like art and poetry and theater crap."
Eris reached out and grasped the Drifter by his collar, pushing him against the back wall of a shop they were walking past. "This was not art," she hissed at him. "It was not poetry. And it most assuredly was not theater." She snarled in his face.
The Drifter blinked rapidly, trying not to blush as Eido stood by, confused and wringing both sets of hands.
"Alright, alright, alright! I admit it," he gently pulled her hand away from him and wrapped his hand around her knuckles affectionately. "This was clearly not one of my best ideas."
Eris sighed and turned away from him, enabling all three to continue walking, but allowing him to continue holding her hand. "At least we agree upon that point," she said.
"There's gotta be something I can do to salvage this date though," the Drifter continued, following after her. "How can I make it up to you?" he practically purred the question.
Eris sniffed and continued walking. "Perhaps a trip to the Vault of Glass."
"The Vault of Glass!" Eido exclaimed. "What will you do there?"
"If we kill enough Vex they might send us back in time so I can prevent myself from agreeing to go on this 'date' in the first place."
Eido giggled.
"Ooh! There's that mean streak," the Drifter laughed. "Damn!"
The corner of Eris' lip quirked into a small smile.
