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He had ruined it.
He ALWAYS does doesn’t he? It’s a good thing. hes the funny one. The evil one. The one everyone hates. That’s who he has to be. WHAT he has to be, right?
He was close, So. Damn. Close. To having a genuine friend again, someone that cares about him and wants to be here for him. But he can’t let anyone get that close to im again. Not after the last time, never.
The rabbits ears rung as he sunk to the floor in the bathroom, everything felt like too much but also like too little. He didn’t realize it but he had begun to hyperventilate, was this what abstracting felt like? Was he abstracting??
He was scared, Pomni was right, He is scared. Hes oh so scared, hes nothing but a stupid small rabbit who does nothing but ruin everything, he pushed everyone away because he was scared, hurt people because he was scared, yelled and fought with Pomni because he was scared, hes abstracting because hes scared why is he so SCARED-!
He doesn’t notice when the bathroom opens, when a gentle voice calls out to him, when the lights are dimmed, only when someone places a gentle and careful hand on his shoulder is when he notices their presence, and it causes him to flinch violently, letting out a loud strangled sound of distress, Kinger, why the hell is Kinger here? Nnonono no one can see him like this not after-!
‘’Jax’’ the chess piece calls out but he can’t get himself to listen, the only thing hes able to focus on is how scared he is and on just how loud the ringing is why is it so loud-
‘Jax, I need you to look at me’’ Kinger says gently, the rabbit does so but he can barley make out the sight of Kinger Infront of him
through his teary shaky vision, hes gonna die, hes gonna abstract he’s-
Kinger grabs his hands gently, a gently but firm grip, the contact frightens Jax at first, but after a few seconds it starts to feel grounding,
Kinger starts to breath in and out calmly but very loudly, as if hes signaling Jax to copy him, Jax tries and fails, but again after a few minutes his breathing calms down, the ringing gets quieter, and an exhausted feeling washes over him, hes so tired of this.
‘’Feeling better..?’’ The other asks softly, speaking and looking at him with such care and warmth and It confuses Jax so much, He tried so hard, SO HARD, to be a complete asshole to the older man, Yet hes still?? Being so damn sweet to him? He can’t comprehend it, he doesn't understand..-
Jax just shakes his head, not trusting his voice at the moment, god he’s pathetic, hes the one who hurt pomni but hes the one getting comforted?? Sure Kinger and the others didn’t know but still, it didn’t feel fair.
Kinger’s eyes softened, before getting up and leaving the bathroom, Jax thought he’d gotten sick of him, of course he did, no one could stand being around him for more than a few minutes, but to his surprise kinger returned moments later with a large blanket, Jax is unsure where he got it from but before he can question it the warm heavy blanket is gently wrapped around his shoulders, its so comforting, it makes him feel.. safe? This was all so weird, he had no idea what was happening, Kinger was mostly this insane weirdo but now hes being so-! So caring that it made Jax almost upset, he didn’t deserve this.
‘’Why..’’ Jax started ‘’Why are u.. doing this for me..?”” He croaks out, ‘’Because im your friend, you can put on this big tough mean act but it isn’t who u really are, is it?’’ The other said, calmly, as if it was the most casual thing ever. As if he didn’t just see right through him like it was nothing.
He couldn’t speak anymore. Just so utterly confused. Kinger got the message and just sat next to him, He just started talking, About his wife, about bugs, anything he could think of really, Anything to keep the rabbits mind distracted, so he wouldn’t spiral again.
Eventually, despite himself Jax finds himself leaning against kingers side, he felt weak, wrong, like he doesn’t deserve this comfort, which he really doesn’t, if anything he deserves to abstract, to be out of everyones lives forever. But, Kinger didn’t seem to think that, just gently petting the others ears, allowing him to rest against him,
Jax felt himself start to tear up, this was scary, the comfort scared him, the warmth scared him, everything about this just scared him, he started crying softly, Kinger just hugged him, Jax tensed for a moment before it all came crashing down, sobbing into the others robe, kinger just patted the back of his head and whispered soft praises and reassuring words, Jax felt like a little kid being comforted by his dad, Its been so long since he allowed himself to feel this vunerable
Eventually Jax calmed down, just sniffling, hes so tired. Hes too tired of this world.
Despite himself. Despite everything. he eventually felt himself drifting off
He faintly registered being picked up, being tucked in somewhere warm.
He didn’t deserve this at all.
but still, it felt so nice.