Chapter Text
The puppet looked forward, seeing the entrance of the place he once tried to rule.
Right now, he's simply a shell of his former glory. Neither is he the Kabukimono nor the Balladeer. He's a blank slate, a man without a name yet once more.
Things have changed since the puppet has last been in Sumeru City, since the entire ‘rewrite civilization’ thingy.
Things changed and apparently, so has he. From the visit to nod-krai, something happened. Fatui machinery, power that separated the consciousness of Scaramouche and ‘Hat guy’. Now he's back, he's taken the chance to run as far as he could. Wherever the current version of him is, the puppet could hardly care.
He's not sure what to do with himself. But all the hope he has is that lesser lord kusanali will be able to help out. Him running from nod-krai was the final act of desperation. It was an act to do something meaningful, to not live with such pain in the emptiness of a heart.
“Hat guy?”
Next to the gates of Sumeru City was someone unfamiliar. A brown-haired, yellow dominating man with green eyes.
Before the puppet could even attempt to take the image of the man all in, the green-eyed came running to him. Now, with a closer look, those green eyes were much brighter than anything else on the man. They were vibrant, bright, like a kid on their birthday, like a student to their excelling results. The other had a wide, kiddish smile on his face, his eyes were wide, like a mad scientist when they've figured something out. he grabbed the wrists of the puppet.
“Ha- Hat guy! It's been so long- I didn't think I'd see you back so soon, well, at all!”
Green-eye’s voice was so bold, loud. Not only that, he said those words in the fastest speed imaginable, stammering over his words as if he was nervous. And he looked so happy, in pure euphoria to see the puppet, a broken shell.
This emotion, he hadn't experienced such for so long. The other was in bliss just from his presence. Although the puppet knew this joy was conserved for Hat guy, it still left a faint tingle in his broken heart. Pure joy from his presence.
It was so new in so long, yet so familiar.
Out from the corner, Green-eye’s had a little drop of water forming at the edge of his eyes. The other was teary, teary from his appearance. The way his voice shook, the way his eyes softened but not his smile.
“Well, things change”
He shrugged, tilting his head to the side, trying to play it off.
Other than that, he freed his wrists from the other’s strong grip and rubbed off that small dot from the corners.
When he did that, green-eyed just stared at him. His smile had softened. Green-eyes rubbed off the others that threatened to roll off, a gentle gaze he gave to the puppet.
"Thanks, hat guy”
nod
This man, he was so soft. He gave the puppet such intense emotions, from ecstacy to a dwell on sorrow. It's been so long since he's seen someone with such deep feelings, the fatui were mostly cold, conserved. It was... refreshing?
Green-eyes stared, his eyes soft yet scream of joy. It made the puppet's empty chest beat a little. Humans, the ones he swore to hate, but also the ones he used to love so much.
“Bet you're tired after going to Nod-Krai, huh? Anyway, tell me everything that happened!”
Green-eyed pulled on the puppet's hands. It was enough pressure to get his legs moving but not nearly enough to damage his porcelain skin. He was bringing the puppet somewhere, past the Sumeru borders and past a few passerby’s. His were calloused, a telling of his hard work. Moreover, they were also warm, the heat hugging his cold, synthetic ones.
Outside of his hands, the puppet could feel other places that were heating up.
“Everything…? It's kind of hard to explain”
“It's fine. I love listening to you, Hat guy”
“You do…?”
“Mhm.”
“...”
There it was again, a warmth spreading through his synthetic veins.
Green-eyes, he looked soft, showing the puppet a moment of vulnerability. He had a small yet longing smile across his face, even his voice had died down, it was calmer.
“Ahh, well.. uh..hh.. it's a bit confusing to say…”
“It's alright, take your time.”
Green-eyes brought up another warm smile. He was at ease in the puppet's presence, what he felt was pure tranquility. He was so warm, the puppet could practically melt.
And some part of it hurt, because the emotions the puppet received was reserved only for Hat guy. Yet, it was his not so great's past that got the pleasure of hearing, of seeing, of recieving. It felt indulgent, yet like a betrayal.
blink Looking forward, green-eyes had turned his head to face the road, walking past and ignoring all the waves from the others in the city. It looked like he was in deep thought too.
The puppet could feel the other's hands tighten around his, as if he'd leave, as if he'd disappear and never come back.
“Where are you taking me?”
“I'm not too sure... Just walking around town. Is there anything you wanted to do?”
“Well, I wanted to see Nahida”
“Nahida? Ah, of course"
He turned direction and started jogging towards Lesser Lord Kusanali’s place, the Sanctuary of Surasthana. The puppet didn't know why he was suddenly jogging, but oh well. He followed.
His gaze observed the back of green-eyes hair, complex yet beautiful. The sounds around them were of the passersby calling out for 'Sethos', presumably green-eyes. Though, green-eyes would ignore all of their calls, their sounds would be drowned out as the puppet loses focus. All he heard was the clinging of his vision and the golden feather he received so long ago. .
That feather, something he hated as the balladeer but was too scared to discard. The thing that he held onto even after everything, after Niwa, after that kid… he simply couldn't let go. Maybe a part of him was scared, maybe another part of him still longed for the approval of the one he once considered his mother.
Perhaps he never stopped thinking of her that way.
The walk came to an abrupt end when green-eyes suddenly stood still, causing the puppet to almost bump into the other. Thankfully, his thoughts hadn't let him get too distracted.
Now looking up, the puppet looked at the sanctuary, it was about the same as he remembered. The last time he was there, he lost it all. He lost everything. But now he's back. He's back to make amends, a pathetic attempt at fixing his life.
tug tug
“Hat guy?”
Green-eyes looked at him, taking him back from a trance. He had that supporting look in his eyes, ones that could calm anyone down.
The puppet looked away, his skin warm with synthetic blood.His smile was so sweet, if it into a real dessert, it would have at least 10 cups of sugar.
He blinked one time and he looked back up. The doors of the sanctuary, he hadn't been there in ages. Though, he's not sure if lesser lord kusanali would want to see him back at all after destroying their promise and deleting himself from the whole of teyvat.
The puppet nods, more to himself than the green-eyes. Now, he steps inside.
“Sethos, Hat guy, what a surprise!”
A sweet, high-pitched voice came out from the sanctuary, Lesser lord kusanali.
“Nahida”
The puppet looked up and as the archon who used his own game to defeat him floated down. She did this to maintain some kind of ‘balance’ between mortals and divine intervention. Not that the puppet would mind now, he's just a fragment that once almost touched the life of godhood.
As Nahida stepped down, the puppet could feel her gaze as she observed him. Her eyes, although less green were piercing, they read him like an open book. Out of all the archon's he had personally seen, even Lesser lord Kusanali’s gaze felt more daunting than the Shougen’s.
“Sethos, would you mind if you stayed here for a bit? Hat guy and I will have a chat”
“Of course!”
Hat guy observed the sweet smile on the green-eyes face before getting whisked away by the archon. He looked one last time before looking forward and lowered his hat.
“So, what happened?”
The puppet took a deep, shaky breath. He could feel his eyes quiver, his heart shake. Lesser lord kusanali would probably help him out, she was a kind soul, choosing to take him in after losing the gnosis. But, a part of him, he still thinks of all the bad that could happen, all the atrocities he had committed. With a shaky breath, he continues
“I’m not Hat guy. I am his past, his life before”
“The balladeer?”
“No… I am not that anymore…”
He took his hat down.
“In Nod-krai, his past lives were segregated. Our consciousness has taken apart and our bodies separated.
I am the creation of that separation, my consciousness is not the same as his…”
“Separated? By the work of the fatui or some kind of elemental power?”
“The waters in Nod-Krai, they mirror the past. Nod-Krai is a place of past, future and present.
Lesser lord kusanali, I am simply a fragment of the past. My purpose is lost, my future is empty.
“And you're here to reclaim your future?”
The puppet nodded, his fall from divinity, his loss of what truly mattered. His head, it was screaming of thoughts, thoughts he hasn't been able to hear since the erasing of his consciousness.
His thoughts are back and he plans to stay long enough to make a difference in his pathetic ending.
Lesser lord kusanali nods, her eyes closed in deep thought.
“Perhaps you should start by spending some time with the kindred souls in Sumeru City! If you're anything like his past and present self, you might find yourself yearning for meaningful connection”
“But how would I start? People don't exactly turn a blind eye if someone started acting unusual, trying to have some sort of ‘friendly’ relationship”
“You don't have to find people! People have already found you”
“...”
Nahida nodded, knowing what the puppet was thinking, as if she read his mind. He'd pause for a moment.
"Okay...”
“Great!”
The puppet followed her back outside, towards where 'people' was. He was waiting, looking at the high ceilings and doing what appeared to be a deep thinking.
The puppet sat next to the other, it was him and the latter. He observed as Green-eyes looked afar, distracted and distant. Lesser lord kusanali had left for a while, to get some tea. And whilst it was a great opportunity to go, to leave, the puppet still has an empty heart lingering inside him. Perhaps a tiny part of him always wanted a companion, someone who he'd be with forever. Even as the Balladeer, the puppet remembered how his hollow heart shined in the presence of Haypasia, a girl who looked past his weak past. And maybe, that's all he ever needed.
"Hat guy."
blink
Green-eyes stared at him and he stared back. Now, he feels the warmth coming to his face. Whilst watching the other in deep thought, he had been in deep thought himself. Being vulnerable was something he hated. Though it was so easy to lose his guard.
"Didn't notice you"
"That makes us both."
A small wave of silence was brought throughout them. Though neither had mind. The green-eyes smiled, the puppet did too, though smaller, yet still familiar.
"Nahida wanted you to stay... She has this 'deep connections can be made from small chats' philosophy. Don't think I buy it though, how can proper connection be made through idle chatter... What can I truly learn about someone if I have their opinion on the weather?"
Upon hearing that, green-eyes started laughing. It raised eyebrows from the puppet.
"Well, what do you think?"
"I agree with Nahida! I mean- my constant bugging managed to get you to even care about my opinions! That's enough proof of it's own, hat guy~"
Green-eye's had such a teasing tone in his voice, a disgustingly smug grin on his face. He was pleased with himself, truly.
To that, the puppet opened his mouth, but he closed it and looked back.
"What's wrong, hat guy? Can't back yourself up?"
”I can't..."
Green-eyes started bursting out, finding his reaction hilarious. He was ecstatic, truly pleased with himself.
"What's so funny, Sethos?"
Nahida walked in, carrying some cups of tea and nothing more. There wasn't much in the sanctuary, just small snacks for 'human-immersion' time.
"I- it's nothing, Nahida! It's just-" Giggling "so funny-"
the puppet had his hand on his chin, thinking about how much he's screwed up being Hat guy. He cared not that he was wrong, he cared more that he could be found out.
He could hear Nahida's laugh and her getting closer wa tray of tea and a kettle.
"Than-" giggle "Thank you, Nahida"
Sip
“So, what do you think, Sethos? It's Hat guy’s favourite!”
“It's great! The bitterness is really strong, it leaves a nice aftertaste”
“You like bitter?”
“Mhm! I like all flavours, actually”
“Oh, you didn't seem like the kind to like bitter…”
“Well, neither do you but I guess we're here”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“You tell me!”
Stare
The puppet could feel himself letting out a chuckle or two. Even a smirk. This guy- this green-eyed, yellow wearing man. He isn't all that bad.
"You think you're so funny?"
"I personally do!"
Just as smoothly as boats on a wave, Lesser lord kusanali had already managed to get a conversation going with one simple question. Before long, the puppet finds himself engaging in a conversation that isn't an argument. With a smile on his face even.
___________________
“Thank you for having me, Nahida!”
“It's no problem, thanks for coming over and paying company to our here, Hat guy! I've been telling him that he needed to go out and make some new friends, it's great to see some progress”
Nahida smiled, putting her hands on her hip, acting as if she was a mother to a child in his ‘phases’.
The puppet had nothing to say, in fact, he looked away and admired the wall carvings. How different could he be to the wanderer? They were the same person so why was everything he did so unusual? How could a person change so much in one moon.
“Ah, of course! It's all from my hard work~ Anyway, enjoy your afternoon, Nahida!”
The puppet could just hear the smirk from green-eyes. He felt his warm, calloused hands hold his own. Only now did the puppet look back, seeing green-eyes smiling at him. His smile carried a smugness yet also a sense of familiarity.
“Let's go, Hat guy”
From the corner, Nahida smiled and nodded at the puppet, trying to encourage him to go, to have some kind of connection .
And this time, this time he'd participate in such activities, the activity he once cast away in favour of divinity.
This time, he'd nod. He'd go. His life has been in shambles when he decided to block out everything ‘lovely’ in his life, now he's back. He's here to be better. He's here to get his life back where they should be.
He could feel the warmth rush in when green-eye’s eyes lit up, like a dog to their owner. Perhaps green-eye’s reaction to the mere puppet made him feel a little better. Maybe it made him feel whole again.
The puppet was led out, the sun was still nice and bright outside, radiating against the people under. It's been 2 hours of chatting, the sun is brighter than ever.
“Hat guy, long time no see. And Sethos, I've been looking everywhere for you”
“Ah- Cyno…!”
The puppet watched as a white-hared, hat wearing man came walking over. He had a neutral look on his face, he looked stern even.
Anyway, even whilst having someone to take over the green-eye’s attention, the puppet felt the green-eyes tighten the grip of his hand. And most interesting of all, his palms were getting real sweaty.
“Bye, Cyno! Bit busy right now, catch you later!”
As if getting chased by a coyote, Sethos ran as fast as he could, directing the puppet with him. He could feel the vision bouncing on his chest, his hat’s side pieces flowing with the sway of the wind.
“Why are you running?!”
He said in an exasperated tone and activated his vision. Having just woken up, his body was still struggling to run like he used to. Fortunately, he was born a natural who could wield any and all elemental power.
His hat just ‘poofed’, turning into nothing more than elemental power that boosts his flight into air.
“I'll explain when we're out of sight! Could you-” looking back “carry me…?”
Green-eyes gave the puppet an awkward smile, trying to shoot his shot. The puppet got heated a little. Looking back to see the general mahahatra chasing after Sethos. He turned back and scooped him up and flew through the city of Sumeru.
Green-eyes seemed surprised, seeming shocked that his question worked out in the end. His surprise was short-lived, replaced by a less awkward, large smile.
“... What?”
“It's nothing!”
Green-eyes started snickering. He was giddy. The puppet raised his brow, but that's where it hit him.
Perhaps, perhaps he was acting unusually. The real Hat guy might've just flown off without him.
”Oh my archons…"
Sethos started snickering louder, his smile wider. The chase of the general mahahatra far behind them, did it matter to begin with?
“I didn't think it could’ve worked, y'know?”
“Was this planned?”
"No- no, no! I really did need to run away. This is just a bonus~”
The puppet’s face turned warm and he looked away. How he wished he had his hat back.
Green-eyes only laughed harder, his head pushed back from the puppet’s reaction. He laughed so hard, the puppet could feel his body vibrating from the pressure.
After a while, Green-eyes was finally done. His laughter died down and so were the tears that formed.
“I swear-! That wasn't planned at all”
The puppet was looking away from the other. Even so, his large, giddy smile could still be felt.
Finally, far away from the general, the puppet landed in the forests of the rain.
“Thanks, Hat guy” smile
“Mhm…” folds arms
“Anyway, I should tell you now, shouldn't I?”
nod
grin
“I promised Cyno 2 weeks ago to play TCG, though I've been conveniently missing in action. If he caught me just now, there's no way he'd let me go! I mean- don't get me wrong, Cyno is great! But I just think- since you're back, TCG can wait a while longer, y'know? You really don't know how much I missed you, hat guy”
"Me? You missed me?"
“Yeah! Y'know, I might sound corny but- life hasn't been the same without you…”
"Really...*
The puppet looked into the eyes of the other. Although green-eyes meant the original, the puppet could still feel the care that came off of him. Such a sweet, kind soul, it reminded the puppet of Niwa.
His words, they were so sweet. Yet, the puppet could only feel the twinge of sadness knowing that the memories they had today will never be with the original. It was great having the friends the original did, but it hurt a little knowing that the one he truly cared about would never experience the joy on his face, the green eyes that sparkle once seeing Hat guy's face.
"Mhm."
"Sethos..."
He said his name shakily, it was the first time he had to refer to the other. It felt unnatural. He wasn't the person the other wanted him to be. He wasn't the person who the other would spend their days with. He wasn't the person that the other had felt made his days better. It made him feel guilty.
"Hm?"
His breath hitched, struggling wether or not to tell, to admit the truth. It felt like a betrayal on his part, a lie that went too far. But he couldn't. He couldn't admit the truth, not when his past was at stake.
"N- nothing... Thanks... Thanks for putting up with me"
"It's alright, Hat guy! You're not bad, not bad at all."
Sethos gave such a sweet smile, one of understanding, of kindness. It only hurt the puppet even more. How could he just lie, to go back to his old roots? How could he simply cast his promise to Nahida aside like that? It hurts even more than imaginable.
I'm sorry that I'm me.