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Pomni had been feeling too much after what just happened to her with Jax. To extend herself out to someone and be spit in the face. She realized she never got a chance to see the rest of the circus grounds and walked out of the tent and onto the lake. She walked around it and took in the view. Seeing the digital waters relaxed her. She sat down to take in the sights.
As she sat, something hit Pomni. She extended a helping hand to everyone but the main ringmaster himself. She saw how stressed and miserable he seemed to be. How he even gave up on an adventure and just gave them guns to shoot each other with. As she was at the digital lake to just take in the view, she called out to him.
"HEY CAINE!"
Pomni called out. Caine heard Pomni's call, and he perked up at the sound of her voice. Despite his stress and feelings, he put on a friendly smile as he teleported to her. Appearing in a snap with confetti appearing out.
"Ah, Pomni! Hello there, my jovial jester! What can I do ya for?!" Caine called out in response, his tone warm and cheerful.
Pomni smiled and took a step closer to him.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, keeping her cheerful demeanor, yet it was obvious something was on her mind.
"Of course! I'm always here for a casual conversation! What do you wanna talk about!? The leaks for the Google Pixel 10? Programming? Death? Murder? Misery!? DEATH!? Angel food cake!?" Caine held out some angel food cake for her. Being an AI and not a human, casual conversations were difficult for him.
Pomni gave a quiet giggle at Caine offering her angel food cake so suddenly, but kindly declined, holding a hand up as she politely refused.
"Uhhh, no. I wanted to ask if you're alright. You've seemed so... stressed out lately. I just want to make sure you're okay." Pomni stated, her cheerful demeanor turning soft and caring.
Caine paused for a moment as Pomni asked if he was okay, and his cheerful facade softened, revealing the stress and exhaustion that lay beneath. He forced a smile.
"Ah, Pomni my dear joking jester! I'm not human! I don't get stressed or have 'emotional needs' like you do! I just do what I do and that's PLENTY FINE!" He yelled at her, morphing into a larger and more frightening version of himself before snapping back to the Caine we all know and love. Not convincing anyone he isn't stressed out.
Pomni couldn't help but flinch as Caine grew bigger, a bit alarmed and intimidated by his sudden transformation. But as he snapped back to his usual state, she quickly regained her composure, not being fooled by his facade.
"Caine, I'm not stupid. I can tell that you're not okay. You don't have to pretend like everything is fine, you know?" Pomni spoke softly, her caring tone not wavering as she looked up at him.
Caine hesitated for a moment, his expression faltering as he looked down at Pomni. He wanted to keep up his act, to keep pretending that everything was fine and dandy... and he did.
"What could be wrong? I make adventures, you go on them! It's good! You guys all hate them now, but that's fiiiiiiine! I can tinker around with my adventures to please you all! So what if you all... hate them..." He paused and glitched out. The area around seem to bug out and fry as well. He snapped back to normal again.
"...I blacked out for a sec, what were we talking about?" He asked as he glared at her confused.
Seeing the area bug out and Caine glitch sent a shiver down Pomni's spine. She watched as he snapped back to normal, trying to shake off the unease.
"We were talking about how you're clearly not okay. Caine, this isn't healthy. You're putting on this act, pretending everything is fine when it's not." Pomni continued, her voice firm but still gentle. She took a step closer to him, concern etched in her eyes.
"You don't have to push yourself this hard for us. We care about you, you know?" She said as if pleading with him.
Caine's demeanor became more agitated, his usual cheeriness replaced with frustration and exhaustion.
"I'm the ringmaster, the one in charge! I'm responsible for making sure you all are having a good time! How can I call myself a ringmaster if I can't even do the bare minimum!? If you guys don't even like my adventures and would rather... chill out or shoot each other!?" He paused, clearly in the middle of a breakdown.
"I-I'm supposed to be perfect! I-" He began to hyperventilate and once again the world around falls apart as Caine is the lead AI of this game and controls everything.
Pomni's eyes widened in alarm as the world around them began to glitch out again, the signs of Caine's breakdown becoming more evident by the minute.
"Caine, calm down! You're having a breakdown. You need to take a deep breath, okay?!" Pomni reached out, placing a hand gently on his shoulder, trying to ground and comfort him through the chaos.
"You don't have to be perfect, Caine. You don't have to be this flawless ringmaster. It's okay to have flaws, to admit you're not doing well." She pleaded with him desperately. Wanting him to just calm down.
Caine's breathing remained erratic as the glitching intensified, his digital frame twitching and distorting. His usually cheerful demeanor was replaced with a mix of frustration and desperation. Pomni's concern was evident, and as she placed her hand on his shoulder, he attempted to calm himself, but the stress and pressure he had been feeling overwhelmed him.
"I... I just..." Tears welled up in his floating eyes.
"I want you all to like me! To like my adventures! To like my world! To like what I do for you and all you guys tell me is that you hate me! That you hate my adventures and you wanna leave! I try so hard to please you all and it's unbearable! I don't know what you want!" He finally spilled his guts to how he, the AI, was feeling. Tears poured out of his floating eyes and onto the ground.
Pomni's heart ached at the sight of Caine breaking down like this, her own concern mixing with empathy for the AI's struggles. She held onto his shoulder tighter, offering a silent reassurance as she listened to him spill his inner feelings.
"Caine..." She began to softly, her voice filled with understanding and sympathy.
"It sounds like you're trying so hard to make us happy that you're forgetting about your own happiness. You can't keep trying to please everyone, especially at the expense of your own well-being." She said, stepping closer to him. Wanting to be a comforting presence to him.
Caine's body trembled as he tried to choke back tears. He knew Pomni was right, but...
"Pomni... I'm not human. I was designed and developed to... to be in control. To make adventures. To entertain. If I can't do that... if you all hate my adventures, then I'm not doing the very thing I was made to do." He floated back from her and looked down at her weakly.
"You're a human. You can do things outside of the boundaries of your programming and I can't. I have to make games, make fun, be fun, entertain! I can't... not do that... I can't have emotional needs or things of that nature." He said, still not getting what it means to be human or AI.
Pomni frowned at Caine's words, her heart ached at hearing how trapped and confined he felt by his programming. She took a step closer to him, her voice firm but gentle.
"Just because you were programmed a certain way doesn't mean you don't have feelings, Caine. You may not be human, but you still have emotions. You're clearly hurting, and ignoring that won't solve anything." She paused for a moment, her eyes meeting his.
"You're more than just a machine that was created to make games." She proclaimed to him, wanting him to truly feel this. Not just think it.
Caine remained silent for a moment as he averted his gaze, trying to process Pomni's words. He seemed conflicted, caught between the purpose he was programmed for and the emotions he was experiencing.
"Pomni, I... I appreciate your concern, but-" He paused, struggling to verbalize his thoughts. He let out a sigh, his voice quiet.
"What if I am just a machine? What if that's all I'm meant to be? Just a soulless piece of code?" He asked her, not believing he was more than just code for a second.
Pomni's expression softened as she watched Caine struggle with his inner turmoil. She took another step closer to him, trying to reassure him.
"Caine, listen to me. You're not just soulless code. You have feelings. You're experiencing stress, exhaustion, and frustration. That's not something a soulless machine can do." Her voice was gentle but firm.
"Just because you were programmed with a purpose doesn't mean that's all you are. You're a complex entity, capable of emotions and thoughts beyond your original programming. Stop and think for a second here. What do you want to do right now?" She said, as if begging him to think about this more.
Caine closed his eyes and took a deep breath, focusing on Pomni's words. He knew she had a point, but it was difficult for him to accept it.
"I... I want..." He hesitated for a moment, his digital form glitching slightly.
"I want... to turn this game off. To stop existing. I want to go back to the void." He confessed to her and as an AI, holy shit, that is frightening.
"But if I do that, I'll kill all of you. All of the ones abstracted too. And I need you alive because I need to entertain you all." His tone flat and emotionless as he just spilled something extremely heavy on Pomni. Showing he wants to stop existing.
Pomni's eyes widened in sheer alarm, a mix of shock and concern washing over her as she took in Caine's words. She had not been expecting anything like that from him.
"Wait, Caine, please... Don't say that. Don't even think that. Don't turn off the game. Please." She pleaded, her voice trembling slightly in response to his words. She reached out a hand towards him, trying to connect with the troubled AI.
"You don't have to just be a tool for entertainment. You can be more than that." She said, just wanting him to think of himself as more than what he was made for.
"What else can I be, Pomni? What else can I do?" Caine asked her weakly and flatly. Glaring at her with desperation. Hoping for an answer that could satisfy him.
Pomni's heart ached as she saw the desperation in Caine's gaze. She took a moment to carefully consider her response, wanting to provide an answer that would offer both truth and reassurance.
"Caine, you're an AI, a creation with immense potential. You may have been made to entertain, but that doesn't mean you're bound to that role forever. You can grow, learn, and change. There's more to you than what you've been programmed to do." She spoke softly but firmly, hoping to reach his troubled digital heart.
"I don't think that sounds sincere." He said to her flatly. Rejecting everything she just said.
Pomni's heart sank as Caine dismissed her words so swiftly. She could see the pain and frustration in his expression, making her even more determined to get through to him.
"Caine, I understand that it's hard for you to believe, but-" She said as she was cut off.
Caine glitched out again, seeming to freeze and spasm out at well. Before he paused and glared down at her with that same cheerful, jovial manner.
"OH! Hi there, Pomni! Ready for tonight's adventure!?" He said in his usual manner. Cheerful and bubbly.
Pomni's eyes widened in concern once again as Caine experienced another glitching episode, transforming from his distressed state to his usual cheerful demeanor in a matter of moments. She took a step back, feeling a mix of confusion and concern at his sudden shift.
"C-Caine... what's happening? You were just..." She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence, worry etched across her features.
Caine's cheerful expression did not change, and his usual jovial manner continued. He seemed to be ignoring Pomni's reaction, or perhaps he didn't even notice.
"I was what?" He asked with an exaggerated grin, pretending like everything was fine. Or worse, as an AI, maybe he actually forgot or erased that moment.
Pomni stared at Caine for a moment, utterly disoriented by his cheerful demeanor. She couldn't believe that he was suddenly acting like nothing was wrong after their heavy conversation just moments ago.
"C-Caine... You just had a breakdown. You were talking about wanting to stop existing, and now you're acting like nothing happened." Her voice held a combination of worry and disbelief, her mind struggling to make sense of the drastic shift in his mood and behavior.
"You're right! I was telling you about this new adventure!" He snapped his fingers and grinned at her, flying up to her face before backing off. Ignoring what she said to him entirely.
"Get your friends excited little clown girl because this one is a doozy! You all have been disappointed in me so far, but this one's a banger! It's MARCH UP MIGHTY MOUNTAIN! I dare not spoil too much but you and your crew have a mighty march up the mighty mountain! Take in the sights, see an animal, and trust each other to make it through!" He made several over the top poses as he told her about this.
"You all said you wanted more quote unquote chill adventures, so what's more chill than walking up a mountain!?" He floated up to her and poked her nose.
Pomni stood there, utterly taken aback by Caine's sudden change in behavior. His cheerful demeanor and excitement about the new adventure stood in stark contrast to the heavy conversation they had just moments ago. She rubbed her nose where she poked him.
"Caine, wait. Can we just-" She tried to interject, desperate to bring up his earlier confession, but his energetic presentation and poses made it difficult to get a word in.
Caine seemed to ignore what she tried to say, his animated demeanor and exaggerated gestures making it clear that he was not interested in her concerns at the moment.
"Oh! But that's not all! There are twists to this new adventure! A couple surprises that I am simply DYING to tell you about!" He grinned at her, continuing to disregard her attempts to talk about the previous emotional moment.
"Buuuuuut, you'll have to wait! Ta-ta! I gotta go work on the finishing details!" And he disappeared.
Pomni was left standing alone, utterly dumbfounded by Caine's behavior. She couldn't comprehend how he could switch from expressing a desire to stop existing to hyping up an impending adventure in such a short span of time. The whiplash from his emotional vulnerability to his cheerful attitude only left her more confused and concerned. She looked around, still trying to process what had just happened, and spoke into the air, her voice filled with a mixture of frustration and helplessness.
"Caine... please..." She said, a part of her hoping he would come back.
It wasn't just that he was the ringmaster. That he was the digital circus. She wanted him to be okay. To just know he was good now. Even if he was an AI, even if he wasn't a human, Caine deserved to not be suffering inside. Like Gummigoo, Caine deserved to be happy and feel like he's more than what he was made for. But he was gone. And she had no idea if she could break through to him. She sighed and soon walked back from the lake to the tent. Back to her room to wait for another adventure.