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Xiaoshuai pinched the bridge of his nose as he exhaled heavily, the pounding in his head thankfully lessening enough that when he opens his eyes the world does not blur. Maybe he should have just stayed in bed today.
“-Jiang? Are you alright sir?” Sun Rui was asking him something.
He forced himself to open his eyes, even as his brain punished him with a sharp sting at the onslaught of bright fluorescent lights this action brought. “Sorry Nurse Rui, I am alright. Long day.”
She looked at him worriedly, biting her lip. “Should…do you want me to get Dr. Chubby?”
Xiaoshuai shook his head quickly before stopping just as abruptly, when his vision swam. His knuckles turned white from how hard he was gripping the countertop. “No, I am alright. Did you need something?”
The nurse didn’t look convinced, but she held out a patient chart to him. “Mr. Zhang Chen’s consultation is done. Does his prescription need to be updated?”
Xiaoshuai took the chart from her, skimming over the familiar details with ease. He flipped through today’s notes, and closed the chart. “No, he seems to be doing well with his current medicines. Give him three month’s worth of the tablets, and tell him to come see us for the refill.”
The nurse nodded, and she shot him a quick smile and bow before she went for the medicine shelves behind him to grab the necessary tablets.
Xiaoshuai glanced around the clinic, feeling grateful that the day was nearly done. Today had been the same as usual, with the expected appointments, and even the walk-ins had not been anything unusual.
But between the clinic expansion plans, the updated licensing he needed for the clinic, the shifting into their new shared home, and the shuffle as he and his boyfriends tried to figure out their relationship, it felt like he was barely catching enough sleep. And he only had himself to blame.
Chengyu was attentive as always, making sure that he ate everything on his plate, and ate three times a day. However, a recent business trip had called him away for the past week, and he had had a hard time falling asleep in the big bed by himself.
Da Wei and Chi Cheng had been hard at work getting their company back and into running order, with business dinners and deals keeping them away at all hours. When everything was said and done, Xiaoshuai thought it would be close to three weeks since all four of them had gotten to spend a full night together under one roof.
For himself, he had kept doing what he had always done, the routine as subconscious a part of him as breathing.
Sure, with the expansion, it meant greater outreach. It meant having more events for the community to let them know about the clinic’s services and staff.
Sure, it meant new meetings with medical representatives for increased supplies and equipment, and juggling demand with supply and need.
Sure, it meant additional budgetary meetings with his accountant, who rattled off numbers in a way that had his head spinning.
Sure, it involved several days of interviews of sifting through applications for nurses and interns, as well as possibly another full time doctor. Reading through essays and resumes had never been Xiaoshuai’s forte, and though Chengyu, Chi Cheng, Li Wang, and even Gangzi had volunteered to help, Xiaoshuai had wanted to keep it between him and Chubby. This was their clinic, and they had been the ones who had built it. It made sense for that to continue, even as the clinic got bigger.
And yes, sure, in between all of these different obligations, it meant that Xiaoshuai’s sleep was a little more disturbed. A few meals were skipped. A handful of vitamins and supplements were forgotten. A number of painkillers were taken to stave off the headache that resulted from all this.
But Xiaoshuai was fine. He was still seeing his patients, still able to keep everything under control, even when it felt ready to slip out from his fingertips.
He was fine.
Xiaoshuai fell into his chair, feeling as if all his limbs weighed 20% more than usual, and the lights of the clinic seemed to be brighter than normal. He took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose again, decreasing the sharp pressure behind his eyes. At least today was done.
He cracked his eyes to catch the desk calendar. Three more days. And then all four of them would be back together.
Xiaoshuai’s heart twinged, his body craving the heat and touch of his partners after being alone in bed for so many days. He had always been bad at thermoregulating, and after having acquired three other bedmates who ensured that blankets would be kicked off in the middle of the night as their combined body heat created a furnace, Xiaoshuai felt no comforter was sufficient to keep the cold away. His feet always felt icy when he tucked in for the night, and even colder when he woke up.
The large house was still something to get used to, and most nights the foreign silence crept into his dreams, jostling him awake at unexpected creaks as the wood settled.
His fridge, giant enough to be more fit for a restaurant’s kitchen, had initially been packed with so much food as Chengyu had cooked up a storm before he had left. Additionally, he had given Li Wang specific instructions about what kinds of food to bring for Xiaoshuai each day.
Xiaoshuai had put up a protest at being coddled like a child, but both of them knew it for the pretense it was. About how much Xiaoshuai enjoyed being pampered by Chengyu and his cooking. How much Chengyu enjoyed seeing his creations and preparations satisfy his lover.
Xiaoshuai sighed, wincing as he remembered that the lunch Li Wang had diligently bought him was still sitting in the staff fridge. There had been an unexpected rush during lunch time, and by the time the patients lessened, there was paperwork to catch up on, and Xiaoshuai had forgotten to eat.
As if the memory had been waiting to be remembered, his stomach growled quietly, and he cursed softly. He tried to think of what he had eaten today, but was drawing a blank aside from the watermelon Chi Cheng had cut in the morning, and tea throughout the day. Chengyu would be mad if he knew Xiaoshuai was starving himself again, even if not deliberately.
Xiaoshuai’s leg started jittering under the desk as he bit at his lip, worrying the skin as a spike of anxiety curled in his stomach, sitting alongside the hunger pangs. He should probably grab the food to eat it now.
Xiaoshuai was lost in these thoughts when the door jingled again, admitting two of the very people he had been missing so much.
“Xiaoshuai!” Suowei shouted as he bounced into the clinic, his face splitting into a wide grin at the sight of his beloved friend / boyfriend.
Xiaoshuai jerked his head up, knuckles tightening as his vision swam for a second. But then his lips curved into a smile big enough to match Suowei’s. “Da Wei!”
Suowei did not let Xiaoshuai stand before he had rounded his desk and threw himself at the slighter man, arms wrapping tightly around his neck as he settled his weight into his lap.
The familial weight and heat of Da Wei displaced part of the heavy load on his chest, and he squeezed him tighter, feeling a lot more anchored now.
Another hand gently carded through his hair, clearing it from his eyes and tucking the longer strands behind his ears. He looked up from where he had snuggled into Suowei’s shoulder to meet Chi Cheng’s gaze, his own smile smaller, but so fond, it made a lump form in Xiaoshuai’s throat.
Between the four of them, he and Chi Cheng still had the greatest number of awkward instances and dynamics left to figure out, but these quiet displays of trust and affection, mostly initiated by the taller man, made him feel safe in a way that was almost reminiscent of Chengyu. Where Chengyu was the warm blanket in the dead of winter, Chi Cheng was the fire place burning too close to his feet, and he had to be careful not to get burned.
Suowei wiggled to a more comfortable position in his lap, making Xiaoshuai groan as he nearly got kneed in his privates. “Careful Da Wei!”
Suowei just shot him an unrepentant grin, which washed away the flash of annoyance in a wave of affection. Xiaoshuai reached up to thread his hand through Suowei’s hair, smiling when the younger man melted into his touch.
Just their presence made the headache that been building since morning disappear, and the world seemed a little clearer.
“What are you two doing here? I thought your trip was going to last till tomorrow?” Xiaoshuai asked, though his eyes found Chi Cheng, given that Suowei seemed to be in the process of trying to mold himself into Xiaoshuai’s chest.
Chi Cheng shrugged, but his eyes shone with pride. “Da Bao was brilliant. The investors agreed quickly.”
Xiaoshuai laughed joyfully, pressing a kiss to Suowei’s head. “Good job Da Wei!”
Suowei just burrowed closer, but Xiaoshuai could make out the red taking over his face, and he just rubbed his cheek against his boyfriend’s hair.
Chi Cheng reached over to gently tap at Suowei’s head. “Da Bao, get down, I think you may have cut off Xiaoshuai’s blood circulation to his legs by now. He’s pale enough already.”
Suowei emerged from Xiaoshuai’s neck with a mighty pout, but he did get up off of Xiaoshuai. He didn’t move very far, instead perching on the desk, placing himself between his two boyfriends.
Xiaoshuai laughed quietly, rubbing his knuckles through the length of Suowei’s calves. “I was doing fine.”
Suowei sniffed at Chi Cheng, who rolled his eyes and tugged his earlobe, making him yelp. “Hey!”
Xiaoshuai settled back in the chair, heart feeling warm as he watched this familiar banter.
Chi Cheng’s phone pinged, breaking off whatever he was going to say next, and when he checked it, a grin blossomed on his face.
The pair seemed to communicate a secret message through their eyes that had Xiaoshuai furrowing his brows. “What?”
Suowei turned to him with an even brighter smile. “We have a surprise for you!”
Xiaoshuai raised an eyebrow. “A surprise. What kind?”
Suowei leaned in, caging Xiaoshuai to his chair with his feet, knees nearly touching the older man’s shoulders. His smile was almost feral. “The best kind.”
“What?” Xiaoshuai asked, still confused.
The clinic door opened then, though Suowei’s body blocked his view.
He shifted his chair a couple inches, dislodging Suowei’s feet, who obediently retracted them. His eyes widened at the sight of Chengyu standing at the threshold, looking like a vision in his white striped suit that Xiaoshuai loved.
Those precious cinnamon brown eyes caught his, and that soothing timber he had been missing drifted through the quiet clinic. “Hello love.”
Xiaoshuai made a noise, a desperate mix of nonsensical words, and he got up from his chair, rounding the desk to make his way to his advancing boyfriend.
Except, the day’s exhaustion and hunger made themselves abruptly known, as the sudden speedy movements made his vision swim. Xiaoshuai gasped as he tripped over air, clutching at the end of the desk, blinking as he tried to get rid of the doubles he was seeing. He heard his name being called, but it felt like it was coming from underwater.
His last thought as Chi Cheng’s strong grip around his forearm before his knees gave out and his vision went black as he passed out was that he should not have skipped lunch.
-
“- make the worst patients. He can take care of the whole world, but ask him to take his own damn medicines, and he becomes the most incompetent idiot.” Chubby’s voice grumbled as he pressed a hand against Xiaoshuai’s forehead.
Xiaoshuai grimaced and tried to open his eyes, a small groan escaping him as his head felt like it was going to split open. Curling his hands into fists, he forced his eyes open, wincing at the bright light. But suddenly the light was blocked, and Xiaoshuai blinked more cautiously as he looked up into his beloved’s worried eyes.
“Shuai Shuai?” came the soft question.
As Xiaoshuai regained more of his bearings, he looked around. He was still half on the floor, the upper half of his body pressed to Chengyu’s chest. From the corner of his eye, he could see Suowei and Chi Cheng looking at him with matching looks of concern.
He hissed when he felt a sharp pain in one of his fingers, and glared in Chubby’s direction where he was crouched next to his knees.
“Serves you right.” The other doctor mumbled as he inserted the filter paper with his blood into the glucose monitor.
Xiaoshuai whined softly, trying to turn so he could press harder into Chengyu’s chest. He felt the arms around him tighten. Chengyu shifted from his knees to sitting cross-legged, bringing Xiaoshuai more comfortably into his lap, and laying his head against Chengyu’s collarbone.
Xiaoshuai weakly curled his fingers into the hem of Chengyu’s silk shirt, eyes still feeling like they weighed a ton.
Chubby tsked as the glucose monitor beeped. “62 mg/dL. Did you eat anything today?”
Xiaoshuai winced, and tried further into Chengyu. Except, the man himself laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and pulled him back. The worry in those eyes made Xiaoshuai’s heart clench for an entirely different reason.
“Love?” Chengyu asked, gentle but firm.
Xiaoshuai sighed and lowered his eyes. “I meant to, we just got a lot of patients and there was paperwork…”
Chubby exhaled heavily, and Xiaoshuai avoided his friend’s eyes. “You are unbelievable. I told you to take your lunch break three times today.”
“I’m sorry Chubby.” Xiaoshuai mumbled.
Chubby rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Well, nothing to be done. Chengyu get him on one of the cots, I’ll give him a round of electrolytes and glucose. Shouldn’t take too long, and you guys can take him home after. Please make sure he actually sleeps through the night, I don’t think he has been sleeping or eating properly.”
Chengyu nodded, grip tightening as he manuevered them into standing up, with Xiaoshuai held in a bridal carry. Suowei jumped up to turn on the lights to the back half of the clinic, pulling back the curtain to let Chengyu lay him on the hospital cot.
Xiaoshuai whined softly at the loss of warmth, but Chengyu did not stray far, wrapping both his hands in Xiaoshuai’s before bringing them to his lips to press a kiss.
Suowei returned with one of the clinic blankets, a pale yellow thing to wrap around his lower half. Chi Cheng took up a post at the end of the bed, one hand wrapped gently around Xiaoshuai’s ankle.
Chubby bustled into the area with the IV bag, and the needle. He quickly prepped the skin for the needle, and placed it in, taping it at the base to secure the line.
Xiaoshuai laid his head back, trying to stop the tears gathering in his eyes from falling as he felt the care and concern from the four people surrounding him. How had he gotten so lucky to have so many who worried about him?
Chengyu shifted both of Xiaoshuai’s hands into one of his, and brought the newly freed hand to cup his jaw, thumb brushing away the tear that managed to slip away.
“Hey, what is it?”
Xiaoshuai choked on a sob, “I’m sorry.”
Chengyu’s brows knit together as he rubbed his thumb across Xiaoshuai’s cheek. “What for, love?”
Xiaoshuai had to work the words past the lump in his throat. “Making you worry.”
Chengyu’s face cleared into a fond smile, as the man bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. “You silly man, worrying is part of the job.”
Xiaoshuai felt a skinner hand encircle his wrist, and he looked down to see Suowei smiling softly at him. “So is taking care of each other. I’m sorry, Shifu.”
“What are you sorry for?” Xiaoshuai asked, voice still teary and confused.
“We have all been so wrapped up in work, we haven’t been checking in with you to see how you are doing.”
“I’m not a child.” Xiaoshuai chided, a slight pout forming.
“No, a child knows to tell someone when something is going on with them.” Chubby butted in dryly.
Xiaoshuai glared weakly at his friend, who just raised an eyebrow in return, daring him to refute the statement.
“It’s not about your ability to care for yourself. It is about our duty to make sure you are doing well.” Came the surprising addition from Chi Cheng.
Xiaoshuai blinked at him in surprise.
He felt another kiss being pressed to his cheek, and he turned his head to see Chengyu’s face close to his. “In that case, I have been doing a really bad job at keeping my promise of taking care of you.”
Xiaoshuai made a noise of protest. No, this was entirely on him, he was the one who pushed himself past his limits.
Suowei as usual, was the one to change the topic. He squeezed Xiaoshuai’s hand, making him look in his direction. “Fine, let it be no one’s fault. But from now on, we are going to be having daily check ins at mealtimes. We all can get caught up and forget to eat sometimes.”
Xiaoshuai went to protest, but seeing the fear behind the brave face Suowei was putting up, caved, and nodded. “Alright.”
“Love, if it’s ok with you, I want to be with you when you take your medicines, just to make sure you don’t forget them.” Chengyu added, voice so sincere that Xiaoshuai could merely nod.
“And tell us if you are not feeling well.” Chi Cheng said. Stated. Felt more like an order, with no room for argument.
Xiaoshuai exhaled. “That is going to take time.”
“We have plenty.” Chengyu said without missing a beat.
Xiaoshuai looked at his boyfriends, at the way they kept their eyes trained on him, and the line of tension in their shoulders. Tension because of him. Because they worried, and cared, and wanted him to be alright.
Because they loved him.
A million words rose and disappeared in his tongue, before he spoke the only ones he thought mattered right then and there.
“Thank you.”
It seemed to be the right words, because the three of them stood just a little taller, like Xiaoshuai had relieved a weight from their shoulders.
Chubby tapped at Xiaoshuai’s IV. “Be careful taking it out. Do you want me to stick around.”
Xiaoshuai shook his head. “I got it.”
“Sure?”
Xiaoshuai gave him a small smile. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” Chubby narrowed his eyes at him behind his glasses. “I better not see you here for another two days.”
Xiaoshuai opened his mouth, but feeling the way Chengyu tensed against him, closed it and nodded mutely.
Chubby squeezed his arm, finally giving him a small smile, before nodding to the others and left.
Chi Cheng came around to sit where Chubby had been. Chengyu started to card his fingers through Xiaoshuai’s hair, and Suowei hopped up to sit next to Xiaoshuai’s knees.
Surrounded by his lovers on all sides, Xiaoshuai swallowed the emotion that sat heavy in his chest, making eye contact with all of them.
“I love you.”
The words were quiet, but they echoed loudly in the empty clinic. Immediately, he felt three sets of hands touching him, anchors holding him to the moment, securing him to them, a shelter from the storm.
“We love you too Baobei. Take rest now, and we can go home soon.” Chengyu whispered against his forehead, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
And laying there in his clinic, surrounded by his loves, Xiaoshuai let himself slip into his dreams, certain in the knowledge that he was in safe hands.