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Finally, after months of working with his ability on the battlefield, merging with the tiger had become a second nature to Atsushi, it made a number of things easier. For example, he didn't have to ‘force’ himself to make his ability physically manifest, it no longer felt like a chore and he didn't have to be on high emotions and adrenaline to function properly with it, now he used his night vision to not turn the lights on at night so he could get a glass of water and avoid disturbing Kyouka, he used his strength to carry all the shopping bags Yosano needed, and used his ultra hearing to systematically avoid an angry Kunikida.
Things could have been perfect if it weren't for the downside that came with anything good in his life. “It’s something wrong, Atsushi?”- Tanizaki had asked him one evening as he passed by his desk.
“No, why?”- He barely looked up from his work to answer. Too focused on finishing early so he could get started on today's dinner.
“Your ability… is, on?”- The ginger couldn't think of another way to put into words what he was seeing. Atsushi’s tiger ears rested atop his head, twitching with curiosity, and his tail curled at the tip. When the weretiger finally turned around from his desk, he also noticed the slits in his eyes- “Are you feeling anxious or something?”- He continued to question, but Atsushi just shook his head and inspected the tail.
“Its progress”- Ranpo explained from his desk- “You finally feel confident and in control of your own ability so you are starting to manifest it even when you are not trying to, it's becoming more of a regular part of you so to speak”- It must have been a really boring day if he was willing to explain things to the poor dumb mortals.
“That’s a good thing, right?”- Kenji asked as he poked his ears. Honestly, Atsushi wasn't super sure himself.
“It is”- Dazai confirmed for him- “You are finally accepting all of you.”
“So should I not try to turn it off or something?”- Atsushi continued to look at Dazai, but the man just shrugged and turned to Kunikida.
“If it doesn't interrupt your work or get in the way of others, I don't see why you should. I agree with them, this is a good sign for you. I was starting to become a little worried that you would start associating your ability with fighting forever.”
Atsushi looked down at his hands, then at the twitching tail behind him. There was still a quiet unease nestled somewhere deep inside him, old fears don’t vanish overnight, but for once, maybe they wouldn't control him.
1
The mission was over, for once without any catastrophic property damage or last-minute explosions. A rare win. Kunikida will be proud. Atsushi exhaled, hands on his knees, catching his breath as he wiped a smear of dirt from his cheek. A few scrapes and bruises, but nothing worse. Across from him, Akutagawa was inspecting a torn sleeve with his usual grim expression.
Atsushi shifted, his ears twitching involuntarily as the last remnants of his tiger form clung to him, tail swaying behind, ears still high and alert. Normally, he’d force them away immediately after a fight, but this time... he didn’t. It felt weird, sure, but not wrong. He could feel Akutagawa staring, probably considering if he cared enough to ask. Atsushi decided to save him the trouble. “I’m trying to become more comfortable with my ability in everyday activities, not just battle and stuff”- The resumed version would suffice for now, neither of them needed a full explained trauma session right now of the implications that his ability had for him.
Akutagawa, being himself, simply nodded, still a little weirded out, but understanding now. The stillness of the air after a fight let a strange, quiet tension settle between them. Figuring that was the end of it, Atsushi turned to leave, letting Akutagawa do the same. The mission was over; there was no real reason for either of them to stick around.
He was already half-lost in thought, wondering if he even had the energy to change out of his tattered uniform before collapsing into bed or actually getting started on his report about the job, when he felt something pull him back, he turned around and faced Akutagawa who looked at him with an equally confused face- “What happened?”- He asked.
“You tell me, weretiger, do you have something else to say to me?”- Akutagawa deadpanned, pointing down to his other arm where his tail was wrapped around tightly like a boa trying to get its prey. Atsushi could feel his blood pressure rising.
He immediately reacted and tried his best to pull it away by force, but apparently, he really didn't want to let go of the man just yet. “Miss me so much already?”- Akutagawa teased with a smirk, not allowing any mercy and making blood rush to his face.
“I’m not doing it on purpose”- He defended, yet it sounded weak to his own ears. He tried to pull even harder, he was nowhere near as strong as the tiger with human arms but he tried anyway, yet the beast did not let go.
His hands hesitated for a second at the shake that came from the mafioso's shoulders, was he laughing at him? Red covered his entire face now, embarrassment and anger combining quickly- “I can stay for a little more if you want me to so desperately.”
He was about to tell the man just where he could stay when he actually thought about it, Byakko’s hold had not faltered during the whole charade, plus, it was maybe just a little truth that he didn't want the man to go just yet. It wasn't like he was going to admit that any time soon, though.
“I guess”- As soon as he accepted, Akutagawa started walking to a nearby bench, effectively pulling him along and making him sit next to him.
Atsushi tried not to fidget as they sat in awkward silence, the weight of his tail still loosely coiled around Akutagawa, now having migrated to his waist like it had a mind of its own, and apparently, no sense of shame.
He considered pulling it away again with renowned efforts, but Akutagawa hadn’t said anything. In fact, he was sitting there like nothing was out of the ordinary with his usual stone-faced calm, but there was a faint pink on his ears that made Atsushi’s chest ache in a weird, warm way. “You, uh... you don’t mind?”- Atsushi finally asked, eyeing the tail.
Akutagawa barely glanced at it- “I’ve had worse things cling to me.”
Atsushi blinked- “Was that supposed to be comforting?”
“No.”
And yet, he still didn’t move away. His coat even brushed against Atsushi’s side as he leaned back slightly.
“You could’ve pulled away too, you know”- Atsushi said, voice low.
“I didn’t want to”- Akutagawa replied, just as quiet, so soft Atsushi almost thought he imagined it.
The tail, as if pleased, curled slightly tighter.
He swallowed. “I didn’t want you to go either.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything. The air was thick with unsaid things, warm and strangely gentle.
Then, as if to ruin it, Akutagawa finally turned to him and smirked- “So clingy, weretiger. If you wanted a date, you could’ve just asked.”
Atsushi nearly choked- “I did not- That’s not-!”- Akutagawa just gave him a look that somehow managed to be both smug and unreadable. The heat in Atsushi’s face refused to fade, but the moment stretched and neither of them moved.
2
Despite all the successful missions, and all his growth, and the kind treatment he always got from everyone in the agency, failure still hit Atsushi like a bag of bricks. He knew that any second now Kunikida would come in with a lecture and sure, he probably wouldn't scream at him, but that didn't mean he felt any better about it. He slumped in his chair, his entire body folding into himself, he hugged his legs close and buried his face in his closed arms that rested over them as he usually did when he felt emotional, only now with the new addition of a long tail that currently wrapped around his body on top of his legs.
He completely ignored the rest of the world as he waited for Kunikida to come reprimand him like a man sentenced to the guillotine waiting for his hour. He didn't even notice the aww sound that Yosano made at him, or the way Naomi had to be physically restrained to not immediately go for his flattened ears, plastered against the back of his head.
Kunikida and the president walked into the room at the same time, now his mind connected to the outside world. Great, Fukuzawa had probably just been briefed on his fuck up and came to lecture him as well, or worse, offer a long monologue of counsel and encouragement like a good president, in turn making him ashamed to need to be counseled and encouraged.
He slowly lifted his head and stared at the two men like a frightened gazelle instead of the mighty tiger he supposedly was. A pair of watery, multicolored eyes stared at Kunikida, and for the first time in a long time, he questioned his own ideals that clearly stated that he should talk to Atsushi about bettering his performance and instead just pet his head and let it go. But he had a job to do, and he was going to do it, especially with his respected boss right next to him, he couldn't just ignore his duties… and the president was doing just that.
Despite the sigh of defeat the other man let out, Fukuzawa continued to gently pet Atsushi’s head, successfully unflattening the ears- “I know I messed up but… “- Atsushi had already started, yet the president just shook his head softly and pulled a can of sardines from his sleeve.
“Everybody makes mistakes”- He offered before turning around and going back to his office.
Now the tiger turned to Kunikida- “But-”- He started yet again.
“Let it go, kid”- Maybe just this once.
In the midst of his confusion, Atsushi could hear Ranpo sneaker from his desk- “Just don't take advantage of it”- Dazai would make sure he absolutely used it to his advantage, or he wouldn't call himself a mentor.
3
In the last few days, Dazai had been acting differently. Atsushi knew it, he could see it, even if no one else could and called him crazy and dramatic for mentioning it. That's why it didn't surprise him when he and Kunikida walked in mid-afternoon after going out for a job with a screaming, angry Kunikida, angrier than usual, that is.
“You completely let him go!”- The blond man continued to scream as they made their way inside the offices- “You were completely absent-minded the whole time! Even after I repeatedly asked you to focus!”
Dazai didn't even rebut him with his usual sarcastic commentary or playful joke, the man just shrugged his shoulders, staring into the side- “We’ll get him next time”- Was all he replied, making the other detective go into a renewed rage. Dazai ignored him this time, just walked to the couch and flopped down with a sigh, sitting back and putting on his headphones.
Something was wrong with him, call it a tiger’s instinct or just his oversensitive, overthinking self working as usual but Atsushi couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to the man's behaviour than it seemed.
He tried his best to ignore it, he was probably just being weird about it and reading too much into it, its not like it was unusual for Dazai to do what he wanted instead of focusing on the case at hand. Except he didn't leave to do something or got distracted with something, he was only lost in his own mind. Which was rarer.
Yeah, there was no way for him to just ignore it. He stood up from his chair with a jump, startling Kunikida a bit, who continued with his rant at a lower volume and not for anyone specifically, and made his way to the couch sitting next to Dazai. The man did not take of his headphones or acknowledge him in any way, Atsushi was at a loss on what to do, it's not like he had a lot of experience being comforted himself, it would probably be at least a little awkward if he just hugged him, and on top of it, it would be a sitting side hug, double awkwarndess.
Instead, his tail rose, slowly as to not startle the man and let him disappear it away with his ability if he wanted, and placed around the man, enveloping him with it and letting the tip of it make little up and down motions on Dazai’s arm.
Finally, Dazai reacted, with a lift of an eyebrow, he asked- “Are you trying to comfort me, Atsushi?”- With a joking tone that almost spooked him away.
Instead, he collected all his bravenes and nodded his head, scooting closer to the man, now shoulder to shoulder- “You are sad”- He stated.
That made Dazai laugh a little, it did not sound happy to Atsushi, the older man turned his body around- “How about an actual hug?”- He asked like he was offering it for Atsushi’s sake, he didn't question it, just turned around too and closed his arms around Dazai, burying his head on his chest and rubbing his forehead on it, it felt like comfort to him.
Kunikida stared silently at the scene that unfolded in front of him, a lot quieter now, when Ranpo approached him and whispered something in his ear that made the man let out a deep sigh and take off his glasses so he could rub his eyes properly- “Well, shit”
With that, the man approached the hugging duo, Atsushi’s reaction was immediate, wariness and aggression that reflected on his body language, hugging Dazai a little tighter and raising his head just over his shoulder to glare at the offending detective.
“Dazai”- The man started- “I’m sorry, I didn't know that today was-”- A constant tudding sound startled the man out of his sentence. Atsushi’s tail now batted the back of the couch with defiance.
“It’s fine, you were right anyway, I did let the guy get away”- Dazai smiled, amused by Atsushi and trying to get the worried look off the other man.
Despite that, Kunikida tried to approach so he could continue on with his apology, however, as soon as he was close enough, Atsushi's tail changed targets and started swatting directly at him- “I’m trying to say I’m sorry, would you stop that please? I'm not going to attack him”- He rolled his eyes at the childish behaviour.
The batting became even stronger, almost moving him out of his position, which made Dazai laugh even more, who by now, had lowered his arms yet continued to be embraced quite closely by his protégé.
He supposed he felt a little better now- “Atsushi, I really am fine”- Finally, the younger stopped and looked at him, the feline eyes carefully inspected every detail on his face before letting go and abandoning his attack on Kunikida.
“Well then, let's get back to work, shall we?”- Dazai patted Kunikida in the back as he and Atsushi made their way back to their chairs. It was reassuring to know that no matter what, he had a giant man-eating tiger on his side at least.
4
The office was quiet, half-empty, had been for most of the day now, and everyone that was left didn't have much to do but paperwork, a day that for others would be perceived as calm and relaxing only stressed Atsushi. After the whole ordeal with Fyodor he had developed a certain anxiety that crept out when he spent too long of a time without all of the detectives together, occasionally, even the absence of some mafia members and cafe workers affected him too.
His tail swerved from side to side like a snake in restlessness, he sat upright with twitching ears that reacted to every sound around him in hope that it would be someone coming in. “Would you like some warm tea, Atsushi?”- Yosano offered him, noticing his discomfort. He smiled at her but shook his head anyway, glancing at the clock again, Dazai and Kunikida should be coming back any second now.
Finally, he heard it, two pairs of feet walking closer and closer, the sudden move up from his tail that now swished excitedly in expectation while he stared at the door. Of course, the other detectives there could not hear anything and just saw him react aggressively happy to an unmoving door. It took them another few seconds, that felt like years to Atsushi, for them to understand.
Atsushi greeted them like normal, trying to pretend he hadn't been practically waiting at the door for them to come back, however, something betrayed him, his tail that stood up straight and moved side to side like a pendulum clock.
“Happy to see us, Atsushi?”- Dazai asked with mockery, Atsushi didnt even try to deny it, it would be useless with the man, not to mention the fact that he could feel Ranpo staring at him too, ready to reveal the truth if he dared deny it.
He was just about to open his mouth to say some sarcastic retort that would at least get them off his back when yet another detective came back- “Kyoka!”- He celebrated, his tail started wagging even faster.
“And me!”- Kenji highlighted.
Behind him, Dazai, Yosano and Ranpo shared a smile, catching up to what was going on- “How about we all go down to the cafe for lunch?”- The doctor asked with mock innocence. Before the boy got to answer with words, they could hear the wag of his tail hitting his seat.
“So yes then”- Ranpo completed for him, making him flush and the others laugh quietly. Atsushi tried his best to defend himself against the attacks but it wasn't really working.
“Okay, boy, let's go down! Who wants to go down?”- Dazai mocked with a high pitch, smacking his hands on his legs.
“I want to make clear I am very upset right now.”- He grunted.
Tanizaki decided to helpfully chime in- “It shows”
“We can even…”- Dazai continued, adding suspense for dramatic purposes- “Get some Chazuke delivered.”- Despite his best efforts to hide his reaction and the twinkle of his eyes, his tail continued to betray him, essentially vibrating with excitement against his back. With that, the tipping point was tipped, and no one tried to pretend they weren't enjoying his torment, a bound of laughter erupted from the detectives.
“Stop it!”- He whined, red in the face, doing his best to hold his tail still, it wasn't really working.
“Alright, fine, we’ll drop it, for now”- Yosano relented, letting silence settle again. Atsushi really wanted to let it go too, but he ultimately couldn't.
“... Are we… are we really going to have chazuke at the cafe?”- He asked, hopeful but ready to be shut down.
He regretted it immediately when Naomi cooed at him from her seat- “Of course we can!”
“Alright, let's wrap up here and we can head down in half an hour”- Kunikida warned, receiving a general yes from everyone and finally sending them back to their jobs and letting Atsushi exist.
Just when his tail was calm and his blood had redistributed from his face to the rest of his body like normal, Dazai had to get the last word in.
“Who's a good boy?”- Once again giggles from the room, Atsushi was about ready to insult him when the last bullet was shot at him, a tudding sound, once again, from behind him. Crap.
Whatever, he was going to have his favorite lunch with his favorite people, he won anyway.
5
Atsushi cuddled a little closer to Kyoka, he felt her squish his hand in reassurance, it was nice and it helped a little. He wasn't scared, of course he wasn't, why would he be? He had been through way worse stuff than whatever dumb horror movie this was. It would be entirely irrational for him to be scared of something he was 100% aware was purely fiction, which is why he did not jump at the creak of the floorboards the heroine walked in, nor did he squeak when the killer jumped in the room, and he definitely didn't shake like a leaf while holding onto Kyouka's kimono for dear life during the entire chase-through-the-woods scene.
He glanced to his other side, at least he was doing better than Tanizaki, the poor man looked about ready to pass out or run away if it wasn't for the tight hold that his sister had on him.
He could hear the faint discussion coming from the other couch, he thought maybe he could focus on that instead of the movie for some time to feel better, what a grave mistake that was.
Ranpo, Yosano and Dazai discussed all the real-life discrepancies of the movie in gruesome detail, how this guy would have died way before the actual killing shot, or how he would not have died from his other wound or how much more bloody this other strategy could have been. Ranpo seemed to take certain pride in matching the other two's gruesome knowledge despite not being an ex-mafia member as well. Atsushi could feel his stomach turn. He loved them, sure, but dammit if he wasn't at least a little terrified of them sometimes, or a lot of times.
Lucky Kenji had headed to bed two hours before with Kunikida. Atsushi had tried to do the same but was mercilessly dragged back by Dazai, who insisted on teaching him about the wonders of modern cinema. A lie, a horrible, terrible lie.
He finally decided to focus on the screen again, the heroine now making her way through the creepy old house, room per room, looking for her friends. He knew what was coming, but he couldn't look away; even the adults were starting to be invested in the story now.
She slowly opened the last room where noise was coming from, it was empty except for an old wooden closet, she took small shaky steps towards it, her grip on the flashlight almost bruising, her other hand ready with a small knife, yet as she opened the doors of it she did not find the killer.
As the mutilated body of her boyfriend fell on top of her, making her let out a blood-curdling scream, and the killer appeared from behind her with a jump, multiple things happened at once in the real world.
A sleepy, hungry Kenji accidentally slammed the door open with a crash from behind them. The judging trio jumped a bit, Kyoka flinched, Naomi yelped, Tanizaki screamed, and Atsushi jumped half a foot up in the air, tail and ears puffed and fluffed to hell, like he had been electrocuted.
Naomi giggled at him, it didn't make him feel better. “Too scary for you, Atsushi?”- Yosano was also not making him feel better.
He felt soft pats that tried to tame his puffed-up tail- “It’ll be okay”- Kyoka softly said, which did make him feel a little better.
“Go to sleep already!”- Kunikida screamed from the other room, effectively shutting down their movie night.
+1
Tragedy strikes when you least expect it. Good things never last forever. Atsushi should know that by now, his entire life had been filled with struggle after struggle, barely a moment's rest. He should have expected that this sudden happiness was never meant to last.
He could feel tears rush to his eyes, he curled in on himself, both tail and ears disappearing into thin air, as this was no longer a safe place for him, glaring at the offending man who had rudely stepped on his tail, robbing him of his comfort and dignity in one cruel motion.
“Come on! I said I was sorry!”- Tanizaki pleaded to deaf ears that were no longer tiger-like. Atsushi ignored him in favor of turning around and dramatically sniffling, which made Naomi hit Tanizaki in retaliation.
“You are the worst person ever, brother…”
“Also, Kyouka is going to kill you”- Added Yosano, who did not look even slightly botter by this and instead smiled brightly as she pulled her favorite tools in precaution, it made a shiver run down through Tanizaki's being.
“Please stop crying Atsushi, I didn't do it on purpose!”- He continued, as the door to the agency opened, welcoming another detective in, he prayed it wasn't the ex-assassin.
“Alright, I heard screaming. Who is dying?”- Dazai asked as he came in, much like Yosano, very not panicking. However, the expression on his face quickly changed as he assessed the scene in front of him and quickly worked out exactly what had just happened. “How could you, you sick bastard…”- Tanizaki recoiled at the obnoxious tone of pain and betrayal that was now coming from Dazai- “What have you done to my poor little Atsushi?”
The older detective took hurried, dramatic steps towards the tiger, quickly pulling him towards his chest and shushing- “Everything will be okay Atsushi, don't you worry, I got you, this man will pay for his crimes”- He continued.
“I didn't mean to!”- Tanizaki screamed. He thought about it for a second, thinking fast on all the things that made Atsushi happy, most of them would take too long to get and the others were people.
Except for one thing.
“How about this, you can have my lunch today,”- He offered, this finally made Atsushi lift his head from Dazai’s head, a questioning eyebrow, alright, a good start then. “And… I will buy you a cookie, no, two cookies from downstairs.”- He didn't say anything, but one ear did flick back into existence. Tanizaki took that as progress. This was going to take a lot of food and a lot of money.
Some time later, Kunikida and Kyoka walked back in together, luckily for Junichiro, Atsushi was as happy as he could be again, munching on every kind of Pocky the nearby vending machine could offer in a scene that resembled Ranpo a little too much.
“What happened now?”- Kunikida dared ask.
“Trust me, you don't want to know”- A passing Yosano answered.
“Did someone die?”- Kyouka didn't seem bothered by whatever the answer could be.
“No,”- Naomi sighed, patting her brother’s shoulder -“But he almost did.”
“I stepped on his tail…”- The ginger admitted, quickly jumping behind his sister as Kyoka glared- “But! I fixed it! And he is all happy again!”- That seemed to do the trick and made the girl rest again.
“Did you hear what he did to our adorable Atsushi, Kunikida?”- Dazai cried as he approached the blond detective.
“Maybe this is a lesson for him to stop letting his tail rest anywhere on the floor, it's a tripping hazard.”- The man shrugged.
The room went still.
Atsushi froze mid-chew, a slow turn of his head revealing wide, horrified eyes. The tail in question swished behind him, like a cat ready to strike.
Three days later, Atsushi was still not talking to Kunikida or using his ability. Eventually, the man had to relent when even the president sided with their resident tiger. Kunikida’s pockets hurt in a way that reminded him of the first time he fed the orphan.