Chapter Text
It's been two hours since Sae left her apartment for work, and already, she cannot wait to get home. Not because she hates her work. Though, she still does. This dark and tainted business that profits the state that wanted her and her little sister to drown together. Her and everyone else who didn't serve the select few.
But because Sae has a task she wants to have done by 10pm. A promise to keep.
“Step one. Negotiate with the SIU archivist to retrieve the files regarding Wakaba Issiki’s research.”
The first of many, but also the one she has the closest link to by her day job. To Oracle, and her father.
“Step two. Bring these files to Leblanc. I have Oracle's number. Call her with a heads up that I have the files, arrange a hand-off there.”
She once took those files from the Sakura family. In pursuit of the person behind the mental shutdowns.
“Step three…apologise. Properly. The hardest part for this endeavour.”
Not knowing he was just under her nose. Or rather, his tool was. Who Sae had…God, she had cared for Goro. Does care for him. But never knew how to express it.
“I never appreciated what he tried to do for me.”
Even when he was at his darkest point, a part of him wanted her off the dark path she had chosen. Maybe it was another of his lies. An illusion to mask his hatred. But…from what the Thieves-
Wait, no.
What her team told her. It wasn't so simple as Goro Akechi had hated everything. He cared for things, he had wanted to reach out, once. The detective's hatred just burned so much brighter due to him feeding it everything he had. His hand was cursed, and he had learnt that there was power in his anger.
And it grew both day and night, till it bore an apple bright…
But self-reflection on her failing of Akechi can come later. She misses him, and…if she had another chance with him? She wouldn’t squander it. Just like how she won’t squander what Makoto gave her. Not another round at the table, but providence.
Now, walking with a purpose to the archival ward, she plans to make good on that promise. Eventually she'll get out of this line of work that will destroy her. But while she's working on that exit strategy, alongside burning down Masayoshi Shido’s conspiracy with him inside, the SIU still has its claws seeking to gouge into her team’s hide.
Unfortunately for them…Sae’s finally decided what really matters to her.
And it’s not the approval of a bunch of stuck up old men, and the state they represent.
It’s being able to look at herself in the mirror without disgust or resignation.
It’s the bond she shares with Makoto, reforged after facing down death together and admitting just how much she failed her.
It’s acceptance and absolution and finally deciding to wake up after years spent in a fever dream of growing despair.
The choice of what to sacrifice to survive had come up once more, but Sae had known what it was like without the collar on her neck. What she stood to gain.
The oaths she had taken to atone were not chains therefore, but self-set milestones for her journey. With each one made good on, she would grow…and make herself worthy of that forgiveness so eagerly given by the prime example of the people she had wronged.
Rebellion for this version of Sae Niijima then, is a simple statement.
She will not stand for what happened to her and Makoto anymore.
“The first step is the hardest.”
And coming up to the archivist's office, Sae can't help agree with her other self's carefully considered words. She came here with the same notes she pried from the Sakura family just a few months back, somewhat vindicated with the bounty of information she had gained. And the look that the same archivist she's going to meet now had given her? Was one of resignation. As if not expecting anything else of her. At the time, she'd only felt indignant anger. What right did she have to judge her? She'd bled and fought same as everyone else in the SIU! How dare she even fucking look at her with those eyes that were so dismissive! Just the same as all the others.
But…she had looked at everyone like that, Sae recalls. From high up, to down low. And now, Sae can't help but think if the woman who ran this vital but underfunded organ that made up the diseased body of the SIU was just tired of working with people like how she was. Envious. Hateful. The people who wanted only more convictions, more time under the spotlight. No Justice in it. Not really.
And Sae was once the shining example of what such an institution produces as its hardiest crop.
Resentment.
I'm not asking for anything serious. Why am I so nervous?
That's the question Sae's pondering as she reaches the door to the archives. The answer is a simple one…if wholly antithetical to her path before Court. Before making the vows. Before deciding to honour her own heart before anything else. To look down fear and envy and hatred and embrace them as strength rather than weakness.
Now Sae stood far from her perceived position at the top. No longer the imperious and hateful prosecutor she once was, no longer the cold and envious arm of the law. Something long thought dead, sacrificed to bring Prosecutor Sae Niijima to this point, had taken root in her. Given life postmortem, it had clawed its way out of the grave and embedded itself into her chest with a fierce snarl that demanded it wouldn't be moved again.
Her heart.
And Sae had found that she was so much happier with it beating in her chest rather than having it buried six feet under. Definitely not as untouchable, as impervious. But certainly more whole, more true to herself.
And it's this wholeness that is what Sae's struggling with as she knocks at the door. Raging and gnawing at the seams ever since she went to work. Not because it's against her, but against this place. A double agent of sorts. A Thief just beneath the nose of the SIU. A woman with a mission she believes in. Destroy Masayoshi Shido’s conspiracy, and keep the SIU distracted until Shido's moles find themselves at the mercy of the courts. Tire out the monster before the time comes to slit its throat.
For once, the 99.9% success rate of the prosecution is going to be in their favour.
Because Sae is now wholly on the side of True Justice.
The amount of files within the SIU's archives are astonishing. The last time Sae came here, she was furious, but well in the throes of despair. And it had proven to be her jailer, her captor. Taking whatever files the SIU have on Cognitive Psience was once vital to her investigation, and she had intimidated her way in through the growing mists in her mind she now understood as Janus's hands around her throat.
Now she was free. And looking at the rather exhausted archivist who was in charge of maintaining the labelling and organization of their hard records. With a certain bone-weariness on her weathered face that Sae understands as utter resignation to a fate chosen. It was what she felt beneath the yoke of Wrath and Envy, cardinal sins each.
She's here for what the warden watches over. The remainder of the research she brought to her day job like the good attack dog she once was. For Oracle.
The first step is the hardest, Sae repeats to herself.
With a cold voice that wouldn't be seen amiss from any other day in the SIU, Sae gives her starting position for negotiations.
"I'm here regarding the files pertaining to the mental shutdowns."
And already, it feels like a mistake. The retort is devoid of anything. The voice of a person utterly clocked out. Half-there, wishing she was somewhere else.
"More copies? You already checked out one set. Why do you need more of the same."
A part of Sae crinkles at the disrespect. The wizened woman's rank is beneath hers. Why does she have to put up with these delays from someone who is beneath her-
But that part is not who she wants to be. It's emblematic of a time that brought her nothing but misery. More importantly…it won't serve their goals. Her goals. One and the same.
"External exchange program. Quid pro quo situation with a contact-"
"You're not getting any more copies."
Anger flares up in her mind regarding the denial from someone. She needs those files.
"Why. Not."
"You think I'm going to risk my job, the only one I have left, for a contact deal that you haven't given me any details on?"
"You can't-"
Anger is something not shared between the two. Not just yet.
"Why can't I deny you. You came here a few days ago, intimidated your way through the others and took what you wanted."
It's true, her urge to see things resolved had guided her to take and take until nothing was left but. She's not that person anymore. Didn't want to be. Her violent fury had a target, and
Perhaps a backstep would work.
"…What if I told you who I was trading the information with?"
That. That is enough to inflame the anger in the elder of the two. Barely, but something more than the mask of apathy. The nothingness. Contempt in her eyes, same as what Sae's trying to suppress.
"Who. Who would force the infamous rising star of the SIU to give up something she staked her claim on."
That question…requires careful forethought. What to divulge, what Sae can afford to give up to reach the goal she needed to do for her job, but also the task she had taken up in the name of her soul.
What would Prosecutor Sae Niijima give up, so Sae Niijima could live? What could she afford to lose in order to keep her promises?
Internal justification was one of the things Sae was always great at before. Enough time, and she'd be able to justify anything to herself. And she did when pursuing the Thieves. Extortion. Threats. Hacking. Sting operations. Anything and everything to get the conviction, get a win. It's all she knew.
But now, staring down the myriad files and their stern guard? The supposed victory from the past now feels like an infected wound, itching beneath its bandages and flaring with the consequences of her folly.
And it must be cleansed in order to heal properly. She doesn’t need those files to take down Shido, confessions and money trails are more than enough. Hopefully. Hope is something Sae's never had before. Never had that luxury, that opportunity, to think optimistically. But with Makoto at her back? She feels like she can finally have that hope. More than just hope, more than faith. Confidence that she can see this through.
Confidence that tinges her internal monologue with Yoritomo, respect and trust that she's got people in her corner…and that Yoritomo's advice is on her side.
“You could do the approach of The Hannya. Intimidation, fear, terror, dread and destruction. But-”
“Not effective. She’s stern, not easily shaken. And…”
“Agreed. You’ve got another idea, haven’t you?”
Not exactly a roll of the dice like she used to believe in. But neither a leap of faith like how the rest of the people who believe in her like to use. Something in between.
“It’s stupid, but worth a shot.”
Sae makes her play with a firm voice, despite the insanity of what she has in mind.
“They’re for Futaba Sakura. Otherwise known as Futaba Isshiki.”
The secretary looks to both sides. Eyes that were once full of contempt, are now full of concern. But not for her. No, that concern is for both what she's about to do…and who she might end up sacrificing by her actions.
“...Not here.”
And Sae can understand the idea, but not the reasoning. “What?”
The secretary quickly writes down a few lines of text in a frantic yet practiced hand on the back of a business card. Her business card. Small and disposable. The kind of thing you could shred and then burn if needs be. A formal practice, but there's apprehension in it. And the hint of fear of making what is surely a horrible mistake.
For putting furtive trust in Sae Niijima.
Crossroads, Shinjuku.
7PM.
Come alone, bring your phone.
I'll bring the research.
“Decidedly cloak and dagger…” Sae ponders warily when she looks at the card. Both the message, and the intent.
“Either she knows something, or wants to get the infamous fiercest wolf in Japan alone.”
Yoritomo’s input is a summarization of Sae’s options, but with a matter-of-fact tone. As if he's already made his decision.
So too, has Sae. Taking a business card from her suit's pockets, Sae writes her set of conditions before presenting it to the secretary in the same manner.
Same location.
6PM.
We'll discuss further there.
I have Futaba's phone number.
It only takes a second of reading for the secretary to process Sae's alterations to the rendezvous. She pockets the card with a grim nod, one that Sae knows well from meetings regarding cases she could not afford to lose. Not with how desperate she was. And she had plenty of reasons to be desperate. A young woman in a male-dominated profession, the sole breadwinner in a family of two, something to prove to herself about her own capability, pride…
All of them reasonable, somewhat.
All of them, logs on the pyre she was once about to burn on.
But the nod indicates an agreement to Sae's conditions, a form of deal struck. So she too, picks up her business card and returns the grim nod before leaving her in peace. Or rather, the form of work she's good at, but never really wanted to do. She was always quiet in official meetings. Kept her cards to her chest. Next up is someone she knows more personally.
Sergeant Kanna Yoshida. Niece of Toranosuke Yoshida, derogatorily nicknamed as "No-Good Tora" after a corruption scandal. A startlingly intelligent individual who Tokyo's police force were lucky to have. Brilliant academically, physically capable, a modern detective. And Sae had neglected her. Kanna would talk to her day in, day out, kind of like how Makoto used to. And well, she'd appreciated the officer for her aptitude.
But Sae had never appreciated Kanna.
The last time they'd talked in person, the Sergeant had called her "Prosecutor Niijima." And at that point? That was all she was. Relationship with Makoto down the drain, Goro had been disgusted at her, all she had was her job. Then the calling card came. Then she saw the young boy who was the ringleader of the Phantom Thieves. Saved him. Kanna had provided her a distraction out of the good of her heart to get out of the SIU with Akira in tow. And Kanna was owed an explanation for such a daring move.
The Sergeant would have probably figured out why Sae needed her services, but…that's not enough. She deserves more than a reason why Sae took that gamble.
She deserves closure for all of Sae's neglectful treatment of the valiant officer.
"You've made an important step forward. Good work."
Praise this early feels unearned in Sae's opinion. With nothing solid set in stone, is her effort worth anything?
"A rendezvous and a negotiation at Crossroads. It's not anything solid, but…"
Yoritomo however, does not care about anything such as personal bias towards what progress should be. In Sae's Persona's eyes? Progress is progress for the young lawyer. Especially when she spent three years sliding downward into darkness.
"Nothing solid for now. Tell me about this Sergeant you want to make things up to?"
The Sergeant's office is empty of a human presence, mildly messy to everyone else, but Kanna has… a special kind of filing system. One that Sae never really bothered to find out about.
"Often lackadaisical in her conduct with me. Very adept at police work. Her methods of speaking with me and her unshakeable drive reminded me of…"
Someone familiar. Someone who when Sae puts the pieces together, she. She can't stop her heart's pained ache when the connection is brought to light.
"Your little sister."
Kanna had. Driven and determined, steadfast in the face of difficulty or discrimination, fiercely intelligent. The parallels kept on going. Sae'd picked her for the quality of her detective work and nothing else. And had only valued her for said detective work. Nothing else.
She had eschewed the Sergeant's efforts to reach out to her, to be a friend where Sae had none.
Because she had looked at the young woman who was her colleague and had given her everything she had, and had called her a failure.
Just like everyone else in her life who had found some form of success or happiness while she was so miserable in her situation. Chained to the maw of the House like any other hound.
Never. Again.
With a pen in her hand, Sae gets to writing a note regarding a time to meet…
"What are you doing in my office."
Only to be interrupted by the woman of the hour, in a voice that doesn't even try to hide her disdain for Sae. She's lost sleep, and has some form of gauntness in her face from worrying. Or perhaps, over the loss of something she had valued so very dearly.
"Prosecutor."
Familiar. Far too familiar for her liking, especially given their working relationship. Or what it was, before…before Sae had did what she did best. Cut ties. Broke the bond of trust, out of frustration and disdain and thinking herself so much better than everyone else. But Kanna never wanted to take Sae's place, her place as the supposed top dog.
No. Kanna just wanted to protect and serve. Her ambition ended at that humble goal.
"Kanna-kun."
"Get out."
The anger from Kanna is something Sae had once thought she'd not mind, as long as she did her goddamn job. Why then, now, does it feel like the mark of Cain? The day that Sae had called Kanna a failure, come back to remind her that her sins extended far further than just a few people. That Prosecutor Sae Niijima had taken a knife as her badge of office, and cut into whoever offered any resistance to her goal of keeping winning.
"I-"
"I said get out-"
"I'm sorry."
It's not enough. Two words would never be enough to soothe the agony that Kanna had felt, spending two years with Sae at her worst. And the look in Kanna's eyes is indicative of that pain, that anger, that despair from betrayal.
"For what? You did what you had to. Isn't that right-"
But Sae's had enough of what she did a few weeks ago. Her rebuttal then, is tinged with the same kind of heartbreak while she braces for what Kanna has as a retort. The wronged taking on their oppressor. Who she aligned herself with, once. What feels so vile now.
"You were right. About everything. And. I was wrong. About you."
Swallowing her pride is a hell of a thing for the lawyer to do. Lodged halfway down her throat like a knife, it hurt to do and is hard to keep down…but there is no choice.
"…Well that makes it all right then, doesn't it?"
The Sergeant is practically the splitting image of Sae's little sister. No blood on her face, no terrible wounds and dislocated joints but that betrayal. That is identical.
"I've heard it before from a few perps. Seen it from a few other lawyers. You fake remorse just so you can get closer to the mark. Classic. Like I'd fall for that."
The mocking tone, the spite, the pain. Envy may have been the sin that the Thieves accused the prosecutor of, and the world KNOWS that it has enough evidence to get a conviction…but it is Treachery that she is guilty of in her heart.
"Then again. What should I expect from you other than such basic tricks? After all, I'm just a failure to you."
What she still is guilty of…but it is the burden she has earned for what she has done.
"No! No. Kanna, I."
"What, Prosecutor!"
"I fucked up!"
"With what! Did you incriminate someone who you weren't supposed to, angered the higher-ups and are looking for a pat-"
"WITH YOU!"
Sae's shout is desperate, and it shocks Kanna to her core beneath the carefully maintained mask of anger and disdain. Not done yet, it is followed by even more desperation. For Sae to admit her guilt in the case of the Sergeant's despair, to give Kanna closure. There is no hope for reconciliation in it. But it is what Kanna deserves. Let the chips fall where they may, and may the police officer who once wanted to be her friend judge Sae on what she does now.
Sae will play her hand.
"You wanted to be my friend. And I treat you like dirt. Like you were nothing to me. And…I didn't view you as worth anything to me either. I only wanted the Sergeant. Not Sergeant Kanna Yoshida. Despite all your efforts."
And Kanna had tried. Day after day, quip after quip. A Sisyphean task. Sae had shut herself off from the world…for it would only take from her as it always had. Grieving. Never had the time to manage her own grief and pain regarding the two tragic losses that ripped her life into shreds. Took from her every last bit of stability and security that she stood to have.
"You. You deserved, and deserve. Far better than I could give you, Kanna. For years, I shut you out when you wanted to…get to know me. Took and took and took from you. From. From everyone."
"When did Sae get so…small?" Kanna thinks to herself, looking at what has become of the woman who she had finally started seeing for what she clearly wanted to be. For someone who never liked the nickname of The Hannya, she sure as shit acted like a demon to Kanna. And sure, she didn't expect anything else from the suited prosecutor. But. It had hurt. A tipping point beyond any other. And now, Kanna is seeing a version of the supposed fiercest shark in the SIU that…is remorseful?
The officer's mind wants to rationalize it away, finally cast off Prosecutor Sae Niijima for the pain she had caused her. For her envious lashing out, and the scars that joined what her colleagues and her family have put on her. Just another person she thought she could trust… another person who's expectations she didn't manage to meet. Another in Kanna's long list of people she's disappointed. Family and friends. Never enough.
But something deep inside Kanna, treacherous and hopeful and oh so seductive, whispers to her as Sae finishes up sounding ever smaller.
"I failed you. Horribly. You trusted me. And I."
To give her one. Last. Shot.
"I should go. Apologies. I'll stop wasting your time, Sergeant-"
And Kanna has never been one to just take an order from a superior she doesn't exactly agree with. Hesitantly, Kanna responds to Sae's furtive reaching out just before she moves to leave her life for good. Another person who Kanna's never been able to impress.
"…Do you mean it?"
And Sae is finally deciding to be heartfelt with Kanna.
"All of it. Both that I've failed you ever since you were my police liaison and colleague…and that I do want to make things right with you."
Perhaps it is the day of horrible mistakes in the SIU. Because Kanna is about to make the same one that was just made nothing short of five minutes ago.
She's going to believe in Sae Niijima.
"…If you're gonna make things up to me…at least do it over coffee."
And despite how vulnerable Kanna's trust sounds, it is something that Sae thinks she can do. Perhaps it is not too late for what she had with Kanna, to be reciprocated after all. Her response is much less furtive, but not exactly composed either. It's tinged with what Kanna has, unfortunately, seen little of from her colleague and source of agony.
Honesty.
"I can do that. Tomorrow, lunch break, just the two of us?"
That's piqued the officer's interest.
"Awfully specific of you, Sae. Why not like, tonight?"
And Sae's in no mood to lie to her anymore. Not like this.
"I have something I need to finish. After-hours."
"Oh? Oh. A lead, I'm guessing."
Intrigue abounds in Kanna Yoshida's mind as Sae gives her parting comment, already through the doorway to exit her office. It's not the fierce look that Sae has in court, but it is certainly a determined one. With the unmistakable mark of bravado, in it.
"…Not exactly. You'll find out."
A strange sort of uncertainty paints Kanna's vision when she is left alone, with this utterly alien version of Sae showing herself. Out of all the questions running through the officer's head, one reigns supreme regarding the current chain of events, the only physical mark of Sae's presence in her office being a half-written apology.
"What did she mean, I'd find out?"
"You're waiting for someone, then?"
Under the neon lights of Crossroads, Lala Escargot questions the newest entry to her safe haven for the downtrodden. It is one of Tokyo's most poorly kept secrets that the bar is a gay bar. Part of the Tokyo underground for those not accepted by the government. For the crime of not being exactly how the state wants you to be.
No wonder Sae's never been here before. Not when she's tried so hard to fit that perfect mold. No matter how much she never quite fit in.
"Yes. Ginger hair colour, diminutive stature. About 40 years of age. Short."
That statement from Sae earns a look of recognition from Lala. And concern. Not for Sae of course.
"Oh, you're the woman that Car-"
"Don't, Lala-chan."
The woman of the hour, taking her seat alongside Sae. With a stern expression on her face, a grimace by any other name well worn by wizened features. Anger curling just beneath the surface.
Yet another place that Sae doesn't feel welcome in. An outcast to outcasts. But the warmth of the outsiders campfire can be hers. They've a spot for her. Perhaps it isn't too late for Sae to finally feel like she belongs somewhere.
The open place looks much more like home than her job.
"I'm here. Like you asked. Niijima."
Sae meets that stern look with an utterly impassive one. A carefully formed initial bargaining position, giving nothing for free. The agreement of meeting here is already a big step for negotiations, and Sae's response is exactly as impartial as her gaze.
"You've brought the research then."
The archivist nods, beginning her requirements in a tone that brooks no dissent. For giving up what seems to be oddly dear to her.
"They're in my car. But I need proof before we continue. I'm not willing to be part of any departmental stings, or for these files to convenien-"
"I know. Will a text suffice?"
The interruption from Sae is blunt, but…it is strange from what the ginger-haired woman expects from the Hannya. A willingness to not just negotiate, but to actively consider another's viewpoint.
"No. I. I need more than something anyone can fake. I need her voice."
But that intrusion isn't something that Sae feels she can willingly stoop down to. She's not willing to betray Futaba's trust.
Even though a part of her, small and insidious, whispers that it would be just a small trade. And if done deftly enough, Futaba would never know. And-
No.
In Sae's eyes, that part of her is ruinous and treacherous. The part that advocates for betrayals, that says that underhanded dealing is commonplace, that she's putting herself behind by acting so naïvely, that she won't get what she wants if she plays the game honestly. It brought her renown and success in the eyes of the state…and brought her misery and torment everywhere she went.
She won't listen to it. Not for this.
"I can't give you that."
"Why not?"
Even if it means ceding ground. She'd much rather step slightly back from her aggressive positioning rather than make the same deal with the devil.
"Futaba is. She's not good with strangers. After Wakaba's murder, she became furtive and-"
"Murder. The official records state it was suicide, Prosecutor-"
"Do you honestly believe those records?"
The blatant lie given straight from some lackey of Shido's inflames a part of Sae's soul. The part that stood firm against injustice, that wanted the guilty to PAY for their sins. The sense of Justice, once forgotten, now held like a sword in both hands.
And that sparks the edges of…some unknowable expression on the crone who frequents here. But one thing is clear, beneath the surface of her stern face and the unreadable voice.
Their organized tête-à-tête isn't over just yet.
"…Come with me. Lala, put her drinks on my tab."
"No."
"Yeah, no darling. She's paid for all of her glasses of water."
The look that Sae gives the proprietor of Crossroads is full of both steel and understanding. Cold, yes, but…is that a hint of gratitude in her crimson eyes for Lala's backup without even having to ask for it? Unexpected. No-one's. No-one's ever looked out for her without expecting something in return. Then again, Miss Escargot could just be wanting to make sure the regular and the newbie at her establishment don't cause trouble.
But Sae's gut instinct says that she can trust the barkeep, for now. It was wrong with Akechi, yes. But that was when she was divided in two, heart shackled and kept by a cruel state while she acted as their unfeeling arm. Now? Now she is whole. And a part of her wants to trust again. Putting it into the Thieves, her Thieves, had given her more than she could have hoped to have. And, if Lala turns out to be a traitor, contacting the authorities on the two agents of the law's rendezvous?
Sae's revenge will be swift.
The lawyer's response is curt, short. "We'll be a moment then, Miss-"
"Honey, you're not gonna be back tonight. You're a woman on a mission." Lala-chan interrupts with what is a satisfied smile on her face, far more fitting the proprietor and protector than any portrayed passive expression. This is Lala Escargot's true face. The visage of a guardian, a warden. "Be safe, y'hear? Creeps are everywhere."
There's no bell to indicate the two employees of the SIU exiting Crossroads, but the firm nod from Sae and the non-chalant wave from her contact are all the parting commentary they can provide, as the rendezvous point changes to in front of a car. A sedan. Not the sleek and dependable vehicle that Sae has, much more of a sturdy old car, practically an heirloom.
With the back seats packed with hard copies of the Cognitive Psience research. Sae only managed to get a folder from Sojiro, this? This amount of data can only mean one of two things. Either the SIU have made way more copies than the turncoat lawyer expected in their paranoia…
Or Sae's not the only one with secrets.
"You getting in the passenger seat, Prosecutor?"
The ginger-haired secretary indicates to an open door into a comfortable seat, the offer of a ride unspoken. Do or die.
And Sae's always been a woman of action.
"You believe what I'm saying, then?" She probes, one movement away from clambering into the car and giving directions. And the owner of the car obliges with a less wary look than before, still somewhat hesitant.
"I believe enough. You're either swindling me to a degree I've never seen before, or. You're telling me the truth. And both are stupid of you, for the SIU's favourite."
Anger flickers through Sae's eyes like a splash of paint at the suggestion of the path she's chosen to be idiocy. Trust is a fragile thing in the world of law, the office that despised her for the one sin in their eyes that they'll never forgive.
For wanting to be more than a pawn.
"But we're both fools now, Detective."
Two seatbelts click as the car takes on the co-conspirators as passengers.
"You get one box from me as an act of good faith. The early iterations. Where am I taking you."
Leblanc isn't so busy in the late hours. A few regulars usually haunt Sojiro's establishment, and Akira's out for the day. For the moment, the coffee shop only holds two people. The titular Boss, cleaning out a coffee cup, and Futaba in the corner table getting a plate of curry into her like a vacuum.
Sojiro's mood is somewhat wistful, thinking about Shido. And Wakaba. The fact that Futaba managed to avenge her mom, where he once thought that her suicide was just that. Suicide. Not murder. Not a tactical move by a ruthless politician. Not an assassination.
On the one half, Akira and Futaba were immediately grounded afterwards.
On the other half, he couldn't be more proud of his kids.
"Kid, you sure they can't track you all after that big stunt?"
Even if Futaba's responses are short and muffled by curry mouthfuls.
"Mhm."
"…Is that a yes towards them being able to track you all?"
"Nope! We pwned em!"
A lady, Futaba Sakura is not.
"…Alright then."
But Sojiro can divine the comfort in her words. The assurance that she has this handled. Even with Leblanc being roughed up, nigh destroyed, Futaba stayed focused.
And Shido fell.
The calls made by his temporary captors were panicked. The trust that Sojiro had put in the young boy who he had told to stay out of trouble when he first met him, rewarded over and over the year during his stay. Sojiro had wanted to care for Akira Kurusu, but the world had taught him that caring was dangerous.
And Akira had made him remember why he cared, regardless.
Even with all of his Phantom Thievery, Akira had fought for what he believed in and helped get Futaba out of her isolation. His daughter, living instead of just surviving. A friend group! The man who harassed them both, remorseful, along with her now online-only friend being free!
Even with the eye of the state on him for harbouring two fugitives, Sojiro'd never take his decision back. Even with the dark parts, the consequences of giving out trust again, his heart felt so much more whole with Futaba out and about. To an extent. She's no social butterfly, but she is doing things in her way.
The only way that matters to her.
The door opens. Late customers aren't unwelcome, but they are unusual for a little bistro such as Leblanc. Though, the cold draft is very unwelcome. Winter is a cruel season, and that kind of wind really seeps into Sojiro's bones like nothing else. But when he turns his head to see what let the draft come in, all mirth drains from his face the same as the heat from the room.
Sae Niijima had bloodied both Sojiro and Futaba's noses in pursuit of the target behind the mental shutdowns. She had threatened to rip their family apart. She is only welcome here by technicality, by a fragile peace bought by the bringing back of a son. Even with that, her presence in Leblanc feels more like that of an exile. Not a criminal, Sojiro sheltered many of them, but the one marred by blood and guilt.
But the look in her eyes and on her face is one that he can't read. Can't quite understand, not just yet. Not the steady look she had for many years, gradually dipping into grim resolve as the months went on. Not the briefly struck by indignation neutral expression as she threatened to rip the Sakura family apart and send Futaba into Youji's grasp, like they were nothing to the lawyer. Treat like stepping stones to a goal, and not people with lives that they were trying to improve.
No, the ashen-haired woman in the doorframe with a box in her hands is far from welcome in his little shop-
"I have something that belongs to you and Futaba," she interrupts his recollection in a so very remorseful voice. She's trying not to let it become sorrow, but she is losing that fight. Slowly, but badly. "May I come in."
There's a brief look shared between Sae and Sojiro, as he takes in her measure, expecting to see some kind of flare of anger with the pause. Some fury, indignancy, anything. Only to him to find nothing. Remorse has drowned those dark flames for him…
"Oh! So soon!"
And when Sojiro turns his head to see Futaba alight with purpose as she comments on Sae's arrival, he knows that the fire has also drowned for Futaba also. Out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw Sae just barely nod at Futaba. He files it away internally as his mind playing tricks on him, or her head shifting in response to the cold, or any other form of twitch/trick of the light. These make sense, rather than collaboration between his adopted daughter and the woman who threatened to rip her from a home that tried to support her.
But, Sojiro does care. Even when it is against his best interests, he cares. That's one of the many reasons people come back to Leblanc. With a tired sigh, he acquiesces. "Shut the door behind you."
The sound of the door closing does not bring back any warmth into his little safe haven. Not while she's here. The arm of the law, even with her sullen face and so very tired look while sat at her spot, fails to evoke the image of someone who is atoning. Regardless, she opens the box to a sight that brings Sojiro's mind unease and more questions than answers. God, he remembers these papers. He had them in his hands a year ago, felt Wakaba's touch on them and how much of herself she put into her work. The weight of a life in them, taken from the world too soon.
"I have what I took from you and Futaba for you. Not…all of it. Not yet-" She mutters. Confidence at a low point but resolve just as strong. She'll see this through, though her hopes for reconciliation are non-existent. Futaba takes the box from the table with a happy hum, far too much at ease for Sojiro's liking. He never told Futaba about what Sae had threatened her with, and he never would.
He did not know that Futaba had found out regardless. And that Futaba had wanted to protect her dad from the woman she once saw as their tormentor. Tormented as well, but she took to the sword and started doing what she did best. It did not justify the actions she had taken in her desperation, and out of anyone, Sae knew that. There was a reason her Shadow had taken the prospect of a trial and made it torture, made it into the flaying of her spirit via exposing her sins. Guilt, guilt, guilty-
And yet, she'd fight for what she believed was right.
Being a passenger in her own life was something Sae had enough of. And the feeling on her back, that of not just an outsider, but an intruder into a sacrosanct place, gnaws at her heart. She shouldn't be here. The look that Sojiro gives her as she sits, not judging, but so clearly holding a grudge. An earned one, born from a jagged knife wound delivered to the back of the father wanting to honour his lost partner, and protect his daughter. Desperation beget treachery, and treachery beget punishment...
No words Sae has will make that jagged scar fade. She shouldn't be here. She'd only bring bad memories. Better to leave the Sakura's with her reparation efforts alone and not her fell presence. She can come back later, halfway through getting up and leaving the place she's sapped the warmth from-
“I should just go. I’ll leave you both to sort through Wakaba’s research-”
Sojiro has other ideas.
"Hold on."
Sae rankles a little at the idea of taking an order, but that part of her is very quickly found at blade point by another part. The part that argues that this isn't an order, but a stay of execution. The weighing of her heart on the scales of justice, the jagged wound against the offering of what was stolen. Not an order. Acceptance of her efforts, genuine recognition of her trying. And a small, stupid and impossibly hard to kill part of the penitent lawyer, dares to think that this might just work.
"Why are you here. Last time you came here, you looked like you were about to bolt if someone pointed at you." Sojiro intones, cleaning out a cup of coffee before getting to making a latte. Of course, he speaks the truth in a way that strikes her heart.
The 20th of November. A late-night drive. A story she couldn't believe if she was sane, but one that was undeniably true. Cold fear gripping her heart as her and Akira escaped from hell, and that same fear becoming primal dread while in Leblanc. The overwhelming sensation to run, to hide in some forgotten corner of Tokyo that she hadn't defiled yet because her touch was ruin.
The death of Envy. The birth of Self-Loathing, the realization that Makoto had grown up and become so much stronger than Sae could have ever understood. That all of her efforts had been in vain, no matter where she went. Ambition turned to ashes, along with the rest of her life. But Sae'd changed, had finally seen the blood-red light that replaced the yellow taint of Envy, and the all-encompassing darkness that was so emblematic of Self-Loathing.
Sae gets to the business of her promise.
"I wanted to make amends with you and Futaba. As best as I could with what I can do."
"The first step is the hardest," she repeats to herself like a mantra, a prayer to whatever can hear her.
"The first step is the hardest," her Persona replies. It's always been up to her. Redemption is in her reach. Her grasp. No prayers to a God that cares to intervene, no divine intervention, not for her. Absolution came from within, and the only way she can forgive herself is to atone. To fight for the Justice you believe in is a fight innately rebellious, and rebellion was the reason she had Yoritomo now.
Two traitors regaining their lost honour.
Futaba's humming seems to permeate the entirety of Leblanc, happy but low in volume, absorbed in her own little world. Sojiro's got questions of his own, handing Sae a cup of coffee and gesturing for her to continue. Interested in what this exile has to say, her confession, her act of penance in the face of her bloodied victim.
The man who kept his heart, and extended to her whatever mercy he could to the person who lost hers but ten days ago.
"When I threatened you and Futaba. I was desperate. That doesn't excuse what I did. I was going to rip you two apart."
But Sae's found hers again. And the voice in the back of her head that is firm and steadfast, the feeling of a protected back, is the biggest mark of evidence. Armour wherein she never had it, weaknesses guarded for the moment.
Such are the stipulations of the Contract.
"Keep going. Contrition requires confession. Kanna has offered you a second chance. This will be no different."
So she confesses, heart hammering in her chest, forcing out the feelings of guilt and remorse that once sought to drown her. A Shadow born from regret and guilt, and not unearned. Pure in her hatred for Sae, singularly focused. The fairest Court the Metaverse would ever see, put to dust.
She can't look away from the man she's apologizing to, the cry of her reforged heart demanding she see this through. Internally scanning his face while sipping her coffee, desperately looking for some hint of acknowledgement.
"I would have. A part of me wants to say that I'd never stoop so low, but I know that's a lie. I would have made the last of the Sakura's into stepping stones. Sojiro-san, I don't know if there's anything else I can do to make amends. But if there's anything-"
"Sae."
"I was about to bereave you both-"
"Sae."
The hearing has stopped. It's time for Sae's judgement, in the eyes of Sojiro Sakura. And the look on his face dares to bring a little more light to that part of her that says she can make it work. That it's late, but not too late, to make things right. She can finally place the look in his eyes.
"I get it. Working for the government is a bad deal. When I was on the protective detail for Wakaba, our bosses were terrible people too. Especially to her."
Sojiro understood her pain.
"So. I get it. What you were going through."
It. Hurts. To have it put so succinctly. Understanding and compassion and but a step before forgiveness. From an act of penance, the bearing of her throat, Sae had been given these things.
One box of research and a confession had earned her this opportunity, a shot at redemption. Somewhat desperately, in disbelief, Sae ekes out the last of her words. The dregs of her guilt at the bottom of her heart, for the two Sakuras in attendance.
"For all I have done to you two. I cannot apologize enough."
Futaba pipes up with a rather timely interruption, finally finished sorting out what Sae's brought. "You kept your word! That's enough for me!"
The two adults turn their head to see Futaba, content as can be. Her world exists of her laptop, the plate of food in front of her, and whoever she's talking with. She doesn't need to worry about anything else.
Sae wishes she had as few worries as her, was as happy as Futaba seems. And silently, her heart offers her the one assurance that she needs. The one she knows.
Sae Niijima will get to be that happy, one day, if she keeps on the path she's chosen.
Sojiro follows up Futaba's response with confusion on his face, but he's starting to put the pieces together. "You. Made Futaba a promise?"
Her nod is short, but she meets Sojiro's look in the eye. "I said I'd get her Wakaba's research back. It's the least I could do for you two, to make amends."
That is enough for Sojiro to make his choice. "What changed? The person I knew two months ago would never have done this."
In-between sips of coffee that warms her heart and hands, the valiant lawyer gives her response. She's not ready to reveal her new allegiance to Sojiro, her new name. Not quite yet. But she'll tell him what she knows happened to her.
"Would you believe me if I said it was a Change of Heart, Sakura-san?"
He's not buying it. But he'll not push. It takes courage to turn your back on the only life you've ever known. Plus…he gets it.
"With what you just did for her and me? You can call me Boss. Same as any other regular."
…Forgiveness isn't so distant after all.
Adjustment Arcana (Rōnin) Rank 2.
Sae Niijima has made amends with Sojiro and Futaba Sakura, along with beginning to make inroads with a few people at the SIU. This is the first step towards absolution. Do not let it be the last, master-less blade.
Rōnin has learned Sharpened Resolve!
Sharpened Resolve: Rōnin's crit rate is increased based on her missing health. Damage increase is capped at critical health, and calculated after paying costs.
Time passes after Sae feels something unlock in her heart and become a little more whole with the forgiveness given. The two adults trade stories regarding their time spent working with the government. Sojiro has no fair amount of people he's pissed off being on Wakaba's side for as long as he could be, and Sae can't help but feel her respect for him grow as the conversation continues. Sae talks about her time at the SIU, and how it, for lack of any better words, sucks.
Makoto calls halfway through. Her elation at Sae keeping her word is only increased when she begins to apologize for not being home, quickly cut off by Makoto's earnest appreciation.
"You're keeping your promises, that's enough for me!" the tinny quality of her voice through Sae's phone had pealed. That had torn Sae's heart apart, to see her self-sacrifice yet again, like she had for many years. Learned behaviour, one that now the fog had cleared from her mind, she saw in every day of their stilted and on life-support home life. And Sae can't let her sacrifice everything again, take her life and her hopes and abandon them in service of another.
"I'll come back as fast as I can," Sae responds, heart aching with the possibility of abandoning Makoto in pursuit of her own goals. Makoto will have none of this remorse, seeing Sae being who Makoto's wanted her to be for so long. Not quite the big sis she remembers when she was in her early teens, but certainly similar in some aspects. "You enjoy yourself, sis! But…could you bring some of Boss's curry back?"
"I can do that." She confirmed, Sojiro already flicking the heat on the stove before she ever opened her mouth to ask him to do so.
Competence was something she didn't trust others with. She never delegated tasks unless she absolutely had to, learned the lesson of having others handle her work meant sharing credit. 50/50, regardless of how much she put into it and how little they did. Collaboration was for losers. And she would win, she would get to the top, she didn't need help, least of all from those bastards who wanted to see her fail! No wonder she had broken so utterly, when she had nothing to catch her fall from the cliffs.
But Sojiro hadn't even mentioned taking credit, or taking things from her. He wanted to help her. She'd come to Leblanc with a box in her hands and an apology in her heart, and now…he's on her side, doing what he can on his end to help her efforts. Sae didn't even get the chance to offer thanks before Sojiro got to minding the pot.
"Thank you." Makoto had finished, and Sae could practically feel the gratitude that Makoto had for the action before she hung up. Over…such a small thing. How long had her little sister been starved? How. How long had she been so obsessed, that Makoto clung onto a small act like a lifeline in a tempest?
"How could I have been so blind to her plight? Our plight?" Sae ruminates, able to think on her failings without her Shadow tormenting her. Not that she needed the help. Guilt ripped at her regardless, somehow too controlling and too passive at the same time. Her folly.
"We were obsessed with rising above our chained position. Freedom at the top, slip the chains that bind from up high, right?"
The agreement of the Persona that took the place of her Shadow never felt like she was being judged. Never a deserved condemnation for her sins like how Janus did, took her excuses and shredded them into dust. Truth conquers all, Veritas Vincit Omnia. She had thought it a dream, that truth broke down liars until nothing was left. Saw it be forsaken, over and over, started to sculpt lies into things that were not quite honest, but believable. Then, the truth broke her. Just like it did any other criminal that was in her way. But if there is one thing Yoritomo is, he is exacting.
"And we lost everything in the pursuit of a goal we'd never see the end of."
"But that's not going to happen again. We'll make sure of that."
Sojiro's sympathy never leaves his face, but as coffee is savoured and the warmth returns to Leblanc, the supposed exile status that Sae's felt since she's entered continues to fade. A sense of, not quite belonging, but feeling welcomed, is overlaid on the brand of the outcast seared on her left hand. Futaba even joins in when they get to talking about Cognitive Psience, all pride and ego and jokes.
"Well, if you need someone to explain it to you Sae-san, then I'm the best researcher around!"
Sojiro has patience for her japes, and his raised brow while minding the pot of curry only amplifies his response. "Who gave you that title?"
"Mom! It was in her will. 'I leave my title of Head Researcher of Cognitive Psience to my daughter, and my curry recipe to my cool boyfriend!' I'm sure I read it somewhere, Sae-san can be the official lawyer reader-overer to confirm!"
Futaba looks at Sae with what is far too much expectation and assuredness for what she feels she deserves, expecting her to go along with Futaba's bit. Loyalty among Phantoms, but also because she's just a little gremlin.
Sae has different ideas. Taking a sip from her coffee, she gives her deadpan viewpoint on the case of Wakaba's inheritance, first looking at Futaba.
"Strictly speaking, given your age when Wakaba died, her inheritance would have gone to the best legal guardian to execute the wishes of her will when you came of age, Futaba."
Her gaze trails over to Sojiro, who is already making the conclusion that Sae already has, her raised eyebrow not gone amiss by the caretaker of Futaba and the owner of Leblanc.
"Meaning that title would be Sojiro's."
Futaba's shrill shriek of "Traitor!" and Sojiro's chuckle at the verdict followed by, "Like you said, Sae's the official authority on the matter," brings something into her heart that she thought she'd never have in this diner. A sense of belonging unfurls its limbs in her soul. Not home, but, under the aegis of being a welcomed patron. A regular. A friend.
The door opens to Leblanc, and all the people inside turn to the new entry. Sae's plus one. And though Sae seems to have a determined look on her face, that look might not serve. The person in the doorframe looks at Sojiro with a look of complete and utter disbelief, the faces she's seeing must be illusions.
"…Boss?" she mutters, still trying to piece together what Sae told her and what she sees. Could The Hannya be telling the truth? Could her stupid, insane, borderline suicidal story compared to her usual bag of tricks-
"Do I…know you?"
Have been exact down to the detail? She narrows her eyes in thought, trying to understand why Sojiro doesn't recognize her, voice in shock when she finally finds the words to reply. "Boss. It's me. Carolyn?"
Sojiro goes from recognition, to confusion, to revelation in a split-second. "You've changed, Rookie."
The ginger-haired woman scoffs, suddenly all confidence and feeling right at home with the shift in Sojiro's voice. "I paid out of my nose to get where I'm at, I better hope I have! Can't believe you're running a diner though. 'The Silver Fox', running Leblanc? There's worse retirements."
The newly named Carolyn goes to sit down like she's at home as Sojiro rolls his eyes at his old nickname, door shutting behind her, but Sae has the urge to dig for the truth. "You two know each other. From your government work, I assume, Boss?"
Sojiro nods. "Carolyn was my protege when I was protecting Wakaba. She was great with a gun, but never could get down the whole making connections without wanting to bark at someone thing down. Good enforcer, bad networker." Carolyn's offended scoff is interrupted by him continuing, attention now less focused on his old mentee. "I knew the Rookie when she was…very different." His focus shifts again to a hypothesis that's just come to his head.
"Did you convince Sae here to come over with Wakaba's research?"
Sae can understand a moment of doubt, but she cannot understand why the person she once robbed now comes to her defense, with surprise in her voice. "Actually? She convinced me that she was going to give little Futaba the research back. I only gave her a box of what we got from the lab cause I was afraid she was lying, but I have the rest in the car. Thought I'd have to burn it one of these days."
She goes to get up: "I'll go grab it, one second-"
Only to be interrupted by Sae grabbing her arm, interruption in a resolute voice. "I'll come too. If you're bringing in the car's contents for Futaba, that's too many trips for one person. And, since I convinced you, I'm bringing it in with you. 50/50 split of the credit."
The secretary who once worked on Cognitive Psience as part of a security detail smiles, seeing her colleague genuinely offer to help. Somehow so much removed from the SIU's rising star, yet wearing the same face. "You did the majority of the work. This little reunion was all you. Thanks, by the way." Genuine thanks. So hardly fought for before this…now, given with a single act. "But, if you want to help, what say I pay you back with lunch one day…Sae?"
And again, Sae Niijima's heart feels another faint connection grow where once she had nothing but her ambition, accepting an offer to adjust to a new path chosen.
"I'd like that, Carolyn."