Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Somewhere between a rock, a hard place, and a table of pie was starving, sweaty, and irate Susie.

The summer solstice let itself in without warning, bringing warm waters to swim in and mirages to dance with. The first day of the solstice can usually slip by without so much as a whisper, but not in Hometown.

On this day, the town celebrates its annual pie baking competition. For one day, citizens could throw together any combination of things to present to a panel of judges and their neighbors. The only rule was that it needs to have a crust and a filling. Any person with a table, paper plates, and an oven are invited to compete and share their creations.

The town completely transforms into a festival-like atmosphere. No cars are permitted to drive as tables took up the space on the road instead. The judges table sat completely alone on another side of town, with drink and snack vendors sprinkled between pie competitors.

When Susie first heard about the competition through her classmates, she was over the moon at the prospect of endless pie, seeing herself alongside Kris as they nursed plates of sugar and butter. 

During this conversation, another discovery would be made that would send her to Venus: Noelle could bake, and she was damn good at it. She was last year's winner. She smiled, her teeth on full display as the corners of her lips reached up towards her antlers, sweetly saying that she was baking a chocolate peppermint chess pie for this year's competition.

Noelle played with a string frayed from her skirt as she asked Susie if she would be willing to be a volunteer for her table. Susie would halt her trip to Venus, as knowing this kind of information changes the course of her trip a considerable amount. Now, she has to fly straight into the sun. 

A fleeting moment passed by Susie just like a gentle breeze. Through a small tunnel, she watched a life of endless deserts with green and red furniture. 

Her answer tumbled from her lips faster than her body can be thrown into the sun.

A week of anticipation later, and she now finds herself behind a plastic table, dents and markings finding their place from continuous use throughout the years.

Susie thinks that she would prefer to be thrown towards the sun rather than suffer out in the heat that currently plagues them. At least landing on the sun would provide a quicker end. Worse than just a normal summer day, it was instead a heatwave.

The heatwave came over Hometown like a thick fog, leaving no area without that sweltering feeling. Monsters clutched onto scalloped handfans, waving back and forth like cattails in the wind as they hoped salvation would come in the form of a small gust of wind propelled forth by wood and paper.

Even with her hair in a high ponytail and knee-length denim shorts exposing her legs, there was no relief from the sun that beat down on them. Beads of sweat trickled down her face and colored her flushed, causing Susie to run her forearm over her face dozens upon dozens of times. 

Even though no two pies looked alike, you could point out Noelle’s from a mile away; and that wasn’t just from the smell. All slices that came from her table would be given out on a Christmas tree patterned plate, topped with whipped cream and a sprinkle of peppermint bits. The sweet smell of cocoa and peppermint would plunder all of your senses almost immediately upon walking close to them.

Susie had gotten used to the smell, as it was also how Noelle smelled sometimes. 

The concept of “customer service” had been explained to her thoroughly by the reindeer, who exhausted phrases such as “the customer is always right” and “we serve everything with a smile.” Apparently, behavior and service was a part of the rubric they used to judge. She thought it was bullshit, considering Kris (who was, of course, voluntold that they’d had to help at Toriel’s table) didn’t have a “customer service” bone in their body. 

Still, Susie tried. Keyword: tried. Despite someone asking for no peppermint in their pie (which, like, why would you come to a Holidays table and ask for no peppermint? Was her first thought), and a kid trying to steal their whipped cream can from them (Susie handled this accordingly by making a scary face at them), she still was offering her best smile.

Working next to Noelle made her want to do her best. She tries to balance this act of being nonchalant, but also caring a lot. Susie finds that she tends to lean more one way or the other, not yet finding a perfect medium. Still, no matter what she did, Noelle would still treat her sweetly in that way that makes her melt into a puddle.

Across from their table was the Dreemurrs table, fashioned with a blue gingham tablecloth and plain beige paper plates. Occasionally, Kris and Susie would make eye contact and stick their tongues out at each other, an action which Noelle and Toriel have yet to notice.

Susie watches Kris as they give out plate after plate, no smile or sign of gratitude can be painted over their dry expression. Their stoic demeanor only seems to become glaringly obvious when they stand next to a beaming Toriel.

“Dude, look at Kris over there.” Susie nudges Noelle softly with her elbow. “They won’t get any customer service points! Their sad freaking face scares customers away…”

“Fahahaha! It’s okay, it doesn’t really matter to them. Well, even if it did, Kris still wouldn’t do it.” She speaks while cutting into a new pie.

“I guess so. Kris said that Toriel bakes the same pie every year, right?”

She nods, her antlers moving up and down with her as some golden hair gets caught in her eyelashes. Susie feels a sharp desire cut through her, one that tells her to move her hair out of the way. She purses her lips into a thin line and puts on a pair of gloves instead.

“Yeah. She doesn’t care about the competition as much as just being able to bake.”

“Now, that’s some real love of the game. Who the hell wants to bake 15 pies for fun?”

Susie ducked down and opened the top of the Holiday cooler, wrapping her fingers around the red whipped cream canister sitting in the ice. She turns it over at an angle that isn’t quite upside down, but not exactly right side up. With a delicate hand, she places whipped cream on two more pies, digging her hand into the peppermint bit bowl afterwards and carefully topping each one. 

“In five minutes, section B will go on a 20 minute break.” A low voice booms from the speakers set up across town, the one talking being was obstructed from view due to it being broadcast from the judges table. Noelle hands out the last set of plates and thanks the customers.

“It’s about time…” Susie grumbles lowly, ripping off her gloves with no hesitation before dunking them into the trashcan. Her stomach had long been wailing, begging her for a slice of pie, or a bite of the table, or really anything that would take up space. For whatever reason, a specific one she couldn’t quite place, she didn’t want to just take a slice in front of Noelle. She had to keep up her good customer service, after all, and she doesn’t think eating while serving food was exactly the way to get all possible points. 

After packing away all of their items into cooler climates, the pair steps away to approach Kris. Before they’re even able to speak, blue feathers enter Susie’s peripheral. Now, this is where the headache starts.

Berdly stops them dead in their tracks to stand between the girls and Kris, trapping them in an unskippable dialogue. Dressed in camo cargo shorts and a white shirt with black text that reads ‘Eat. Sleep. Fortnite. Repeat.’ It’s when he pushes his glasses up Susie can see a little cream on his finger, which ends up on the bridge of his frames. She doesn’t like him nearly enough to inform him of this.

“Hello, ladies. Serving pie on this hot day?” His voice coos in the most agonizing way possible.

“Hi Berdly. Yeah, I set up the table this year with Susie.” Noelle turns back and points to their spot. “Did you decide to volunteer for anyone?”

“Oh, silly Noelle. I needn't to volunteer anymore, after years of humbly offering my services, I have taken skills learnt from all of you to create the most delicious, moist, sweet, and delectable pie recipe ever conceived.”

They both stare at him blankly, as neither of them were even aware that he was competing.

“My blueberry rhubarb double twist surprise has been flying off of the pans at record speed!” He leans in closer, lowering his volume. “Rumor will have had it that I am in the running for the top spot.”

Susie and Noelle slowly turn their heads towards one another, each hoping that the other had processed this information incorrectly somehow, and maybe Berdly was just a figment of their imagination from the heat.

“I’d offer you a slice, but I can’t have either of you stealing my recipe.” He crosses his arms proudly. Definitely not a figment from the heat, Berdly was entirely himself, all flesh, feathers, and tactless patterns.

“Yeah that’s fine. Noelle, let’s go.”

Susie walks around him and heads straight to Kris, who was silently watching as they leaned against their table. They looked at Susie, then Noelle, then back to Susie, who rolls her eyes. 

“This freaking guy…” Susie throws a thumb back towards the him. It makes them crack a small grin.

“Kris, it’s actually perfect that I have you here. I have an offer for you that you absolutely cannot refuse.” Berdly inches closer.

“Kris doesn’t want some stupid shit from you!” Susie is quick to snap at him, his last words barely hanging on before she started. Her stomach cries again for food, which only works to irritate her more.

“Susan, please. I know you often trip over yourself at the opportunity to speak to me. And whilst most times I am deeply and utterly flattered, as if this doesn’t happen every day.” He says that last bit like an aside that someone else would be listening to, but of course, nobody else was. “I find myself here on business that does not concern you.”

“Dude, I’m gonna-”

Susie feels something fuzzy place itself on her bare arm and give a small squeeze. The contact makes it feel as though electricity is coursing under her scales, a reaction she’s only had so few times before. 

“Susie, I-I think you should let him finish?” Noelle is meek in her delivery, but it gets Susie to back down all the same.

“About 45 minutes away, somewhere around Greensville, a bar is holding a ‘Battle of the Bands.’ We sent in an audition tape and got selected, but Catti doesn’t want to be our guitarist anymore because we’re too “mainstream,” or whatever. I believe you are a prestigious enough player to join our band on stage as we swoop in and steal the first place spot.”

Kris’ face doesn’t change. There’s no small muscle movement, no eyebrow raising, no widening of eyes, not even a slacked jaw. Kris stares at him hard with their stone-cold expression. Yes or no? The option sat in their soul like a brick, the damned thing bouncing between the two options as if there was any real consideration to be had here. The answer was obviously-

“Did I mention the prize is $400 and free shirts for the band?” He speaks as if this were some kind of appetizing prize, as if Kris were someone who could be sold for some money and shirts, and as if their soul would even say yes.

“I’ll do it.” The answer comes out with some strain. Their face immediately lands in their hands as they let out a moan, realization crashing upon them like waves on a shore. Or more like acid waves on an already burning shore.

“Kris, seriously?” Susie whispers and nudges their shoulder, trying to convince them to bow out before it’s too late.

Unfortunately, it was too late when Berdly walked up to them.

He places his hands on his hips while a triumphant look glows off of his face. His beak upturned in satisfaction as he let out a sigh of relief. Of course, them agreeing would only somehow turn Berdly into even more of a jackass.

“Kris… I knew you always wanted to be my protégé. I am, of course, nothing short of amazing on the drums. “

“H-hey… I’m not that bad at the drums either!” Susie cuts in to make a case for herself, an attempt at saving Kris that just won’t work.

“Please darling,” Berdly holds up a hand to Susie’s face. “ Do not try to vie for my attention by interrupting me. I will grant you some of my time when I can.”

Susie growls low, the sound vibrating her chest and echoing throughout her being. She balls up her fists and mentally charges up her swing, trying to figure out what was the best angle for her punch.

“Susie, why don’t we just go get lunch?” Noelle chimes in with a tender voice. She can see that Noelle downturned her eyebrows from the nerves, exercising a passive way of trying to get Susie away from the blue bird.

“Yeah, we’ll go get food.” Susie grabs Kris by their shoulder and bridges some of the space between them to keep the other out of their conversation. “Meet us at the lake when you’re done.”

The two turn and walk away while Berdly’s voice gets quieter and quieter, which was now a blessing to Susie. When his voice is completely omitted from her sphere she thanks the heavens.

“Dear Angel, sometimes I just think about grabbing his little head and just… Mmmphm.” A small child runs past, carrying a plate of apple pie with vanilla ice cream that was rapidly losing shape and melting onto the pie. She cuts herself off quickly to keep some of their innocence intact.

“That’s usually how it is with him, isn’t it? The way he goes about it is, unfortunately, very Berdly-like. Honestly, it was my idea to ask Kris to join.”

The missing gaps in the story suddenly all began filling themselves; this mystery band wasn’t just some side project of Berdly’s, but instead a collaboration composed of the two, and now Kris.

“So, you’re in the band?”

After being led to a stand, Noelle orders them sandwiches and offers to pay as a way to thank Susie for her help. She becomes just the tiniest bit bashful due to the nature of these sorts of things, alongside being immensely grateful since she didn’t have the cash to get something anyways and was just going to find some pinecones and bark. She’s happy she can save some cones for later.

“Yeah. I am.” She digs through her pocket of her shorts to find an extra few cents. “It’s me doing vocals, Berdly on drums, Kris on guitar, and Pizzapants on bass. We had Catti at first, but she really didn’t want to keep working with Berdly. She just couldn’t learn to drown him out.”

Susie can only say she’s heard Noelle sing once at church sometime ago. In a choir like that, your tone and sound is lost amongst the blending of voices, so she wasn’t exactly sure what she sounded like or what kind of band they could be.

Noelle hands her a cool water bottle. Her fingerprints are left marked by her dark handprint contrasting against the colder parts, the condensation around it dripping down slowly. Susie keeps her grasp near the top of the bottle, leaving Noelle’s handprint in its place. She hoped that there was some longevity to it.

They walk through the sea of monsters, doing their best to not knock over any plates or bump into someone. Passing by everyone, she inhaled the scent of warm fruits and caramel, causing her to twist her head every which way so she could pinpoint where it was coming from. When she turns her head to the right, she makes eye contact with Catti. Catti’s eyes are flared with disdain as she sizes up Susie. Susie can only quirk an eyebrow and continue on.

As she gets closer to the lake, the sound of the competition dies down more and more until all she can hear are gentle waves climbing up the concrete.

“It sounds really cool. I think you guys are set to win… as long as Berdly doesn’t open his mouth.” She says as she takes her seat on a green bench, setting down her plastic wrapped sandwich and water bottle.

“Thanks, That’s nice of you to say. I don’t really know how we’ll fare, especially since the alternative scene up in Greensville is pretty good according to Pizzapants.”

“Alternative?”

Noelle hums over the sound of crinkling from unwrapping her lunch.

“Like, emo? Um, maybe not exactly emo. I think we will be emo, but not every band will be, but they’re not all like that but still alternative. Does that make sense? Just… not pop, or rap, or anything like that. Whatever doesn’t fit in those boxes, those are the kinds of bands we’ll see.”

There was no song or image that came to mind when she imagined alternative music. She could picture an emo band, but it was difficult to imagine all four of them in dark, grungy getups. Especially Berdly and Pizzapants, who both already had poor fashion sense, much less the skills to gussy up in an aesthetic that they took no part in.

“Are you guys all dressing up and stuff?”

“Nope.” A plate of pie appears besides Susie before Kris shows themselves, lifting their legs over the bench and sitting down next to her. “I’m not doing that.”

“Seriously? You have one chance to look cool and shit, and you don’t wanna?” She turns her whole body to face the other, staring at Kris’ slumped over pose.

They stick their fork into a slice of apple pie, dipping into a quickly softening scoop of vanilla ice cream and placing it in their mouth.

“Nope.” They repeat with their signature ennui, and Susie knew there was no getting them to play the part, even just for a night. 

“Well, that’s that.” Through a mouthful of ham and bread, Susie gets her statement out. “What did he tell you?”

Kris explains that every evening for two weeks leading up to the battle, they’d be meeting at Berdly’s house for rehearsals. This was corroborated by Noelle who asked to only meet every other day, but couldn’t get him to budge. They weren’t set on the songs yet, but said they had made a list of ones they were considering. Noelle would throw out a few titles, and Susie would know none of them. Pizzapants would drive them to the bar the day of, and was also confident that he could get them in somehow, despite them being minors. 

"Wait, how did you guys get picked if you're minors?" 

"They don't ask you for your ID when you're recording or anything. Pizza said he knew a guy." Noelle shrugs, deciding to trust him and whoever this "guy" was.

She nods as she takes in this information, rubbing her hands over her shorts to get all of the crumbs off of her fingers. Looking at Kris, Susie thinks she can see a rockstar in them, just hiding somewhere underneath their hard shell. A cool, quiet type was always beloved by audiences. Whatever would come of their little four-piece, she was hopeful that something would rise, even just for that night.

Her mind is brought back to the TV World, where she, Kris, and Ralsei performed together. She had no knowledge that Kris could play the guitar, and she only found out recently that they could play piano. Every new discovery made about Kris was unexpected, but made sense to her. Of course they could be some little musical genius.

An announcement rings through the speakers again, naming the next section of the competition as the next to go on their breaks. They all collect their trash and stand up to begin making the short trip back to their tables.

Just as quickly as the day started, it came to an end. The winner was announced as the sun came down, the sky turning into a spilled canvas as QC smiled brightly, accepting her plastic gold award in the shape of a heart pie for her sugar cream pie and thanking her grandmother for the recipe (Toriel rolls her eyes at this. She pulls Kris close and whispers “I saw that recipe on ‘Momster Baking’ just last week…”).

Noelle ends up taking home second with an ever so cordial semblance in the way she carries herself. She finds Susie in the crowd of monsters and waves. She gives the reindeer a thumbs up and silently mouths “good job.” Noelle mouths back “thank you.” Looking up to the pink and orange sky, Susie sees a life of sunsets and pies, which is more than good enough for her. It was more than she had expected for herself before.

Nothing could strike down her joy, especially since Berdly wasn’t even brought up as an honorable mention during the ceremony. 

✶⋆.˚

If Kris and Susie had to use one word to describe Berdly’s house, it would be: fuzzy. The walls were a normal shade of eggshell, but for whatever reason, it seems that his parents insisted on having all furniture, paintings, and sculptures be made out of some kind of feather.

They want to consider it wrong, but if they weren’t a bird, how could they say anything?

Instead, they’d look at each other and point at all the unconventional feathered things in his home, cheeks puffed up as they held in laughter.

Susie wasn’t meant to come initially, but she was able to convince Berdly that she was Kris’ manager, here to ensure that he got his government mandated 30 minute break during four hours of work. Berdly, not having any kind of knowledge of child labor laws, could not come up with a proper rebuttal and allowed her in.

“Are your parents home?” Susie questioned him while looking at a childhood photo of Berdly on a playground.

“No, which is why my house is such an ideal place for music making, since the noise won’t bother anyone. They usually don’t arrive home until the late hours of the night, so unless you’re dying for a sleepover with me, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Gross…” Susie whispers as she sets the picture down, heading to sit on the couch. She purposefully sits on the other side of Kris, which makes her the farthest away from Berdly.

“Thank you everyone, and… I guess… Susie… for attending our first meeting. Kris has taken the place of Catti as our rhythm guitarist. We are overjoyed to have you here, as I’m sure you’re the same.” Berdly begins, looking to Kris for a response.

They look back at the group for a second before settling on an answer.

“Yeah. Real excited.” The speaker-like voice they coined only has a twinge of sarcasm, a twinge only Susie and Noelle notice.

“Little buddy, I can always help you if somethin’ trips you up.” Pizzapants is encouraging, but in that sort of weird way only he can emulate. Kris just nods.

Berdly talks in circles for about ten minutes, hitting a roundabout when discussing their “image” and “what kind of band they are.” Susie knows from Kris’ expression that they care none for this kind of conversation, evident by the empty gaze behind their eyes. They sit as still as a statue and keep the same position, not even shifting a millimeter.

Susie eventually begins to zone out too, focusing in on a picture of Berdly’s mom, who really was pretty. It was a shame her son couldn’t inherit any of her pretty. In that specific photo, she’s wearing a pair of earrings that she swears she’s seen Noelle in. They’re a dangling pair, gold post wrapped around her ear with a ruby red gemstone hanging close to her jawline.

She looks at Noelle to see that she’s wearing plain gold studs, with a clear colored crystal in the middle. The reindeer focuses on Berdly, her mouth shifting between pursing her lips and biting them, front teeth poking out when she does the latter. Susie wants to reach out to her. She wants to reach out, but has no idea what she’s reaching out for, nor does she have any idea on what Noelle would do.

If she had it her way, she could wrap an arm around Noelle's waist and bring her close. What she wanted more than anything was to bridge the gap between them entirely, until there was no space left between them.

Her stare is met with Noelle's own, dark eyelashes batting when she figures it out. Susie’s face blooms with heat from the embarrassment of getting caught. 

It’s not like she was looking at Noelle just to look at her (even though she may have done so once or twice… or maybe even thrice). She was just making observations, nothing strange about that.

The band members work to narrow down their song options, going through each one and making a case to either pick it or throw it away. The conversation was spearheaded by Berdly and Pizzapants, with Noelle chiming in every once in a while. 

“‘The Ghost Of You’ is really… emotional, you know? Won’t it make people sad?” Noelle throws out her comment.

“Yeah, it’s sad, but that's what we need to do to people! Get them to really feel.” Pizzapants looks around, trying to find some validation.

“That is true… Noelle, if you can deliver a truly astounding and heart-wrenching performance, we are sure to win.”

“Berdly, I’m really-”

“Then it’s settled!” He’s quick to cut Noelle off, continuing to fill the air with his own nonsense.

They would eventually land on another song that was foreign to Susie. Then came deciding the order, which spawned a whole new argument between the two boys. She wondered why she even came.

“Let’s do ‘crushcrushcrush’ first. Then we end with ‘The Ghost Of You.’ That is how we’re doing it.” Kris’ demand is a surprising turn of events, Susie thinks.

The air goes still, not a single person objecting their proclamation. Not even Berdly, who was advocating for the opposite order.

“We are decided, then. All we need now is a name for our band. Personally, I think we should be ‘Berd and the-’”

“No.” Kris, Susie, and Noelle all speak simultaneously to shut down his idea.

It’s a back and forth between everyone, suggesting names and getting shut down by someone else.

“What about… ‘Another Medium?’” Susie throws her hat in the ring, immediately looking to Kris to see their reaction. She feared being shut down, even though they all had been, she had some preconceived notion that they would be harder on her. The anxiety began to spill into her brain like sand into an hourglass.

Before the sand can hit the bottom, Kris nods in approval.

“I like that.” They say.

Noelle looks at Susie with a grin, making her heart jackrabbit against its cage. She tucks a faceframing piece of hair behind her ear before speaking. 

“Yeah, I like it too.”

“Same.” Another vote from Pizzapants.

That just leaves Berdly, who has a hand up to his chin in thought, a corny pose perfectly fit for his person. His eyes shoot across the room, as if his options were physically weighing themselves before him.

“That… is really not bad, Susie. I could see it on a poster”

Susie runs a hand over through her hair, the wavy locks smoothing out under her glide. Some sort of mechanism her brain forces her to do when a compliment comes her way, a habit she’s had since childhood.

“Thanks. Came up with it myself.” She nudges Kris with her elbow while displaying a cheshire cat grin. They knit their eyebrows close, being able to tease Susie wordlessly with just a squint.

Final housekeeping tasks are discussed and checked off, tying up their conversation in a somewhat neat bow as it all finally starts to come together. Susie was beginning to put a picture together of what kind of product they were trying to sell. 

Minutes later, Berdly leads the group into his garage where he keeps his musical setup. It was an air conditioned garage, with grey concrete walls and white tile floors. A drum kit stands in the middle with a dark blue shell, arranged in whatever way Berdly saw fit.

To the left of the drums were a seafoam green guitar and a purple bass resting on guitar stands. They already were plugged into amps and a pedalboard from previous practices. Black foam absorption panels lined every wall except the garage door. Taking it all in, it almost feels like a real practice space for professionals.

Pizzapants takes the time to explain his setup to Kris, seeing as all the string instruments and equipment were his. Berdly pulls out a chair for Susie to sit in and watch; she notes this one is made of normal materials and not feathers. Shockingly, she thinks she prefers feathers. They were cushier. 

Noelle awkwardly stands in front of the microphone, right in the center of the group. She switches her weight between feet as she twirls the mic cable around her fingers.

Her cherry red nose wiggled continuously, a sign that she was nervous. Susie had picked up on this after seeing Noelle study for a big exam. Her face was nearly stuffed all the way into her book, writing feverishly as her little nose wriggled from time to time. 

“Try talking into the mic, Noelle.” Susie suggests, trying to give her something to do instead of being jittery. She couldn’t even figure out why she would be. It wasn’t like she was singing in front of a crowd yet, so what is it?

“Oh! Okay. One-one, two three. One, two, three… How do I sound?” She’s projected loudly through the speakers.

“Good. Try singing something.” Now, she was just requesting things out of the need for entertainment (and still to distract Noelle, of course).

“Um, what should I sing?”

“I dunno. Anything.”

Noelle looks down to the floor in thought, considering everything she knew. When put on the spot it was like she couldn’t remember any song ever. She continued to stutter into the microphone, with Susie letting out the occasional encouraging phrase to get her to start.

“Susie, how about you, um, face the other way, please?”

The request washes over Susie about as gently as a truck would. She’s quick to oblige, not saying anything as she stands up and turns her seat around to face the garage door. When she sits back down, a small strain tugs on her heart, she’s been put out; forced to look away for some notion that couldn’t make sense to her now.

Maybe it isn’t something she should take too personally, she thinks. Even with this logic, the wound still stings.

Not being able to see Noelle, she can only rely on her ears now to take her through the motions. Crossing her arms across her chest, Susie waits for it.

A deep breath comes through the speakers, followed by a high, floaty note. She begins with some simple vocalizations, ahs and ooos starting her out. It sounded like something Susie had heard on the radio before, but with a name she couldn’t quite place.

She could hear Noelle tapping her feet to the beat, keeping her time. Her diction was as clear as glass with no word ever losing its syllable as she sang.

Susie thinks she sounds beautiful.

Noelle’s singing voice was the perfect stasis between her speaking voice and an angel's, airy notes escaped her with ease. She moved from note to note with such familiarity, she believes that Noelle must practice this frequently. Susie bops her head along to the beat hoping that she’s matching the other.

She fills the room perfectly, needing no backing track or instrumentation to guide her or enhance the experience. She thinks Noelle could do this for an audience completely alone and still get paid. No wonder they asked her to be the singer of their group, her skills were abundant.

The wound that once opened found itself bandaged up; if this was the price Susie had to pay to hear this, she would spend the rest of her life looking anywhere else. Nerves be damned, it was worth facing a wall.

She would go through the whole song as the boys got Kris set up with tabs of their songs. Their voices were completely drowned out in Susie’s mind, where all she could fill it with was the sweet waters of Noelle and her voice.

Her melody is abruptly stabbed through by the deafening sound of wood crashing against cymbals. Susie jumps from her seat, as Noelle shrieks into the microphone, causing feedback to ring throughout the garage.

The girls twist back to face Berdly, who continues to smash his sticks against the brassy rounds that sit right below his chest. He parades a shit-eating grin as he continues to be the noise machine.

There was no speaking or screaming over his tirade. He was going to play as loud as he wanted for however long he wanted.

The loud noise from her scream and Berdly’s obnoxious playing made Susie's brain feel like it was bouncing around the room with the sound waves. All she wanted to do was pick up the kick drum and smash it over his head, making him wear it like a feather boa.

She opts to just sit there and wait until he’s done. For the sake of the band, of course.

When he’s done, he holds his sticks above his head and looks to the ceiling satisfyingly. 

“Do you think you’re frickin’ Bars Ulrich or something, man?” Pizzapants berates him in the same way everyone else wanted to.

“It’s simply just a warmup, Pizza boy. Don’t be jealous of my fervor on the kit, it’s all just skills built up from years of greatness.”

“Can I turn around and watch now?” Susie’s voice teems with impatience, eager to see their practice.

“No!” Noelle yelps. “No, um, not yet, Just for today you can stay like that.”

Goddamn it. Susie nods and looks to the floor. I’m never seeing this performance.

They begin their first song, Berdly bringing Kris and Pizzapants in after a certain count. Noelle sings again, but she sounds totally different from whatever she was singing before. It was poppier than what she had imagined, but still held onto some of that gritty sound.

Her vowels seem more horizontal, replicating a certain type of sound that the song requires. Her words sit at the front of her mouth, her diction still perfect. 

Susie can hear all of their parts individually, sticking out brightly and clunkily putting themselves together without truly melding. Still, it wasn’t bad.

Noelle doesn’t lose any of her quality to the new genre, instead finding new qualities to bring out more that were otherwise lost before.

Kris sight reads the part, their fingers and mind working double time to get the notes right and stay in time with the others. At least, that’s what it looked like.

They were in a strange limbo: they knew they were really doing none of the work, but it was them presenting it. Pizzapants shoots them glances, watching their fingers as they strum and wait for a sign for help if they need it. They would only flub a few notes, not noticeable enough for him to play the part for them.

Pizzapants would supply the harmony, his low voice dancing alongside Noelle’s melody as they sang the part together. The two of them knew how to match their voices to one another, their vocal placements sitting in similar places as they hit every line. It surrounds Susie as she paints a mental image of what they were all doing behind her.

Susie had never heard whatever song this was before, but it was the perfect pick for all of them. She couldn’t even criticize Berdly as he nails every fill, never missing a single beat.

If she were just out and heard this band performing, she thinks that she would stop and watch. If she saw people jumping around they wouldn’t look completely stupid; It actually felt warranted.

What she wondered about most of all was what Noelle was doing. She wonders if she was just standing there and singing, or interacting with the others besides her, or down on the ground in a ball letting out perfect noises. It was working for her regardless of what it was.

The words and meaning of the track are lost on her as all Susie can focus on is the sounds they were making, the fact that they as a collective could create something like this. 

Susie thinks about Ralsei and his performance. She remembers his sweet pose as he sings about cats and kites. His tone was almost darker compared to Noelle’s bright one. She imagines how Ralsei and Noelle would sound together, she would find it hard to place their voices next to one another.

The song ends without her even noticing, their final notes leveling out and bringing them all into silence. Behind her, the band waits for some kind of response. Berdly clears his throat to no answer.

“S-Susie? Was it good?” Noelle’s gaze shoots directly at the top of her head.

“What?” Her ears were still ringing from the volume.

“Was it good?” She speaks louder and moves away from the mic to direct all of her sound at Susie.

“Was it good?” She repeats back. “That was awesome! You guys are good together. Except maybe Kris, of course.” She couldn’t get a word out without teasing somehow.

Everyone beams at her while Kris has a small smirk. Their very first trial run was successful, and the song didn’t completely fall apart when they were going through it.

For their second song, it’s Kris that cues them in. They strum a duskier melody, like a shadow fell over the whole room.

Noelle’s voice swings in like a pendulum, swiftly carrying her notes along the song. She dips into lower notes deep within her chest. Susie tapped in more to the words, trying to process the new lyrics as Noelle let them out.

It was sad just as Noelle had said, that was for certain. Her emotion colored her voice a dark streak of grey, still rich in her delivery. They were able to mould the atmosphere at their will, creating and changing it as they saw fit.

Singing about dying and ghosts (go figure, Susie) didn’t seem typical for her, but she performed as if she were the one who wrote it. Emotions flood out like an oilspill, and Susie would be lying if she said she wasn’t moved.

The dynamics go under, reaching a quiet point of near whispers and softened instruments. It then explodes, all members sending it through as loud as they could. Noelle and Pizzapants sing the bridge together, with the former belting out a cry and the latter taking care of the more stable parts.

Susie is brought back to a night on the bench with Noelle in the graveyard. Noelle had only voiced sorrow like this before when talking about her sister. It was a similar tremor in her voice that she could hear from that night; she remembers her glassy eyes as she looked up to the Angel, probably similar to how she was now.

Susie decides to follow in her (hypothetical) footsteps and looks up, facing a textured white ceiling. Running her eyes over everything, where she spots a small crack forming next to a figure in the ceiling that looks like a turtle.

The song closes with the instruments all dropping off, one by one, leaving only Noelle’s final note in the air, haunting and gorgeous at the same time.

Susie continues to roll her head back, until she’s gone all the way back and is hanging over the back of the chair. She looks to the members upside down, who are all looking back at her.

“Two words: Kick. Ass.”

“Isn’t it technically one?” Pizzapants inquires.

She picks her head back up and stands to face the others. Berdly begins to give notes to Kris, who isn’t even facing them as he speaks. Noelle snags her water bottle and takes a sip, staring up at the ceiling and avoiding eye contact.

They would run through the songs again, with Berdly and Pizzapants stopping them in between runs to adjust things or make comments. Every time they’d go through it again, Noelle would ask Susie to face the door.

In the days that followed, she would repeat herself again and again. Her promise of “just for today” evaporated into thin air, turning into nothing. Noelle would consistently ask Susie her same favor.

At this point, Susie would’ve already called it quits and stopped coming, or just turned around whenever she felt like it. Still, when Noelle asked a favor of her, she had no idea how to say no. Her doey eyes would twinkle underneath Berdly’s fluorescent lights as she would tilt her head, a cute gesture that was definitely not on purpose. It became a sort of weakness to Susie.

She asked Kris one night if she had any clue why Noelle would always ask this of her. Kris would just shake their head and stuff a pretzel into their mouth.

“Maybe you make Noelle nervous.” Kris spoke through crunches.

She had no remark to shoot back with, considering this shot her straight in the gut. She thought they had already moved past all of the nerves and anxieties; what sort of mental block was Noelle not telling her about? It wasn’t like they spoke all the time, or even every day. Despite this, she remained under the impression that they could still be honest with one another, but it didn’t feel that way now.

Susie would skip out on the next few rehearsals, saying that she really had no reason to be there. Kris could run their own breaks without a manager.

The feeling of being alone was one she grew accustomed to in childhood. For some reason though, this stung deep. She didn’t want to go with them, and she didn’t want to ask, but she didn’t want to be left out. It all confused her to the point of anger. An inflamed ball of white-hot rage sat in the pits of her stomach. 

She tried to find some way to pass the time, since she was typically able to avoid going home until the wee hours of the morning. Kris would wave at her from the door, their frame lit up dimly by the little light there was inside the house. For the past two days, she hadn’t seen this image. Susie was growing antsy to steal Kris back.

As a result of finding the best way to waste time, Susie would find herself going to all the stores and businesses in Hometown. Stepping into San’s shop, the stock blue walls greeted her the same way they did the past two days.

The dull buzz from the lights reminded Susie of something like a gas station. Some kind of elevator music played inside the shop that got louder the closer you got to the center.

She’d head straight to the left side of the store, beginning her trip by looking at the cards.

She picked one up with a lazy, fat orange cat on the front, holding a pan of lasagna with a candle in it. She opens it and it starts a silly song, with the text only reading ‘Happy Birthday!’

“Need help with finding a card?” A deep voice rings from behind Susie. 

She turns and looks down, facing the shop owner himself. His stocky frame was nearly comical next to Susie’s large stature.

“Uh, no. I don’t need help finding a card.” 

Is it the chicken dance? The thought strikes her.

“Then… Are you gonna buy that one?”

“No. I’m not.”

The silly song continues as they both stare at each other. 

No, it has to be the hamster dance.

“Then… Why are you still holding it?”

Susie shuts the card with so much force her hands slap together and make a clap. She stuffs it back into its entirely wrong spot and moves to the magazines.

“Is there anything you’re looking for in particular?” His shoes drag against the floor to create a squeaking sound. His monotonous voice drills into her brain, she clenches her jaw and continues.

“Can’t a customer just look around?” 

“You’re no customer. Customers buy things. You come in here and look at everything for an hour then leave. To be a customer, you have to purchase something. Not just look-”

“OKAY! I get it!” The ball of rage is only fueled more, her heartbeat reaching her throat as she digs her nails into her palms. “I’ll go.”

She directs her attention to the pale floor against her black sneakers. She was about to beeline for the door when she’s stopped by a bony arm in her way.

“You can go if you want, but if you stay, I got $30 for you.”

Susie tilts her head to the right, peaking at Sans through the veil of her hair.

“$30 for what?” 

Sans releases a deep sign, beginning to head for the back of the store. Susie watches as his little bald head rounds the corner, then stands in front of the freezers. She follows in his footsteps to end up in front of the waffles. The frosty air of the freezers creates a mist on the glass. Susie can see someone drew a smiley face into the condensation.

“Putting away my order. Usually, my brother helps me put stuff away since I… have a lot of arm pain.” His eyes dart to the side suspiciously when he finishes his sentence. “If you can put some stuff away, I’ll give you some cash. Sounds like a deal?”

Sans puts out his hand towards Susie and offers a shake. Susie is hesitant to agree at first and thinks about the interactions she’s had with the skeleton already. Although he was strange, there wasn’t anything stopping her. Plus, if he refused to give her the money, she’d just eat his whole basket of eggs.

She grabs onto his hand and shakes.

He directs her to the back of the store where all the boxes were kept. She worked quickly to get everything in its place, ensuring it was all nice and neat. Becoming familiar with the layout from the past two days had really served her in this moment.

By the time she breaks down the last box, the sun was inching towards the horizon as the light came in gold. The elevator music had turned jazzy at some point. She wondered how Noelle’s voice would sound over the piano, singing in this kind of style.

“I think I put everything away.” She approaches Sans at the counter while dusting off her hands.

“Nice. Thanks for your help.” He takes a peak into the backroom to find nary a brown box on the ground. Susie had even swept up the debris from the truck guys.

He heads over to the register and inserts a key into the lock. The drawer pops open to reveal an array of coins and cash in differently sized compartments. Susie sticks her hands in her pockets, where some lint cozies up next to her finger. She teeter-totters on her heels and toes, swaying back and forth as she does so.

Sans places dollars on the counter and moves it towards Susie.

“Come back if you ever need some cash. I always have some work I’m putting off.” He winks at Susie with some mirth, a warm undertone to his words. It was some sort of invitation for her.

She sweeps the cash towards her, folding the bills between her calloused hands.

“Thanks.”

Susie turns on her heels and heads for the door. She looks at the splayed bills in her hands and begins to count under her breath.

“26, 27, 28, 29…” She comes to a stop in front of the door and turns back around. “Hey, I think I’m short a dollar.”

“Oh, really? Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I must’ve miscounted.” 

That dry demeanor overturns a weary feeling in Susie, her steps are cautious as she approaches the counter. Sans hands her another already waiting bill, folded up before she could do it herself.

When Susie grabs the bill she realizes it wasn’t a $1, but instead it was $10.

“Now you gave me a ten? Dude, your math is all off today.” She places it on the counter and slides it back to him. He puts his hand on it immediately after and slides it back over to her. Susie looks up with a furrowed brow.

“Keep it. You went the extra mile.”

The golden light bleeds onto Susie’s shoes and jeans. It was a sign that the sun was quickly coming down, soon to encase the whole town in darkness. A feeling grows across her chest that could only be akin to gratitude.

“Thank you.”

Sans displays a pleased expression; whether it was with himself or with Susie, she’s unsure, but it was something that made her feel tender inside.

“I’ll see you around, kid.”

Susie exits the store with a weight in her pocket, and a hole in her stomach. She looks across the way to QC’s Diner. The red letters emit a faint glow that beckons her in. Her mind is made up: she’s getting a burger, cheese fries, and a chocolate shake. 

She crosses the four-way intersection quickly, trying to speed walk as fast as she can without running.

“Susie!” Someone calls out to her from down the street. She halts and walks back, looking down the intersection to see Noelle.

Her rage had quelled long ago, probably halfway into her putting the stuff away. Thinking of how she scared Noelle made her shoulders heavy. She didn’t want to admit just how much one little comment had created a downpour on her life.

“Hey Noelle.” Susie attempts to mask it, trying to act as cool as she can.

“Hi stranger. I feel like I haven’t seen much of you the past few days.”

She doesn’t know where this pressure came from, a sudden change from the way things used to feel. She wanted to just spit it out and ask Noelle why, but she knew that wasn’t any way to handle things. Besides, what if the answer was something much worse than she expected? She couldn’t ruin things now.

“Yeah, I’ve been… busy… with… stuff.” She ends the excuse with a smile. Totally normal, Susie.

“Were you going somewhere?” Noelle can read her like a book, or she can just tell that Susie was headed in the direction of the diner.

“I was gonna go to QC’s to get some food. You can, uh, join if you’re hungry?”

Noelle laces her fingers together in front of her following the proposition. She allows it to linger for a few moments which stirs Susie up just enough to induce nausea.

“Sure! I’d love to.”

If Susie had any food in her, she might’ve just painted Noelle’s shoes with it. Lucky for both of them, she’s been empty since noon. No matter what Noelle said, she just felt on edge.

The two of them walk the dozen or so paces it takes to get from the intersection to QC’s. Susie pulls the handle and opens the door for Noelle, who thanks her.

They sit opposite each other in the lone booth on the right meanwhile QC takes care of a customer at the register. Noelle looks through the menu, leaving Susie to twiddle her thumbs. She had to break the silence somehow.

“How was rehearsal?” 

“It was good! Everything is sounding really solid, I feel ready, I think. We still have a few more days before the show, so the extra practice we can get the better.”

“Good. Really good.”

Susie watches through the window, the yellow branches float in the breeze in whatever direction the wind sees fit.

“Pizzapants said he’d bring you with us on Saturday so you can watch it too. Kris insisted…”

Susie snorts, imagining their blank face as they “insisted” that she be brought along. She imagines it went something more like them just asking, and Pizza saying yes. It brought back some light into her spirit; the feeling of being wanted.

A shuffle draws near the two accompanied by an “oh my god” under the breath. When Noelle and Susie turn their heads, they’re met with Catti's downturned face.

“Hey Noelle.” She’s turned towards the others, offering her an even tone. When she turns to Susie, she just frowns. “What do you want?”

“Cheeseburger, with cheese fries, and a chocolate shake.” Susie volleys back the same disdain to Catti, who just sighs as she writes on her notepad.

“Noelle?” 

“Just a peach tea, please.” Noelle attempts to smile at her, but Catti just walks off before her final syllable lands.

“Jeez… Hell’s her problem?”

Susie leans back into the soft pleather as a pain pokes at her lumbar. She rubs her hand against her back in a feeble attempt to make it better, but it just sits there.

The pain is dull. It feels just the same as the pressure on her chest, an avalanche of problems continues to pile up in her mind. Susie doesn’t believe there’s any way she could read her mind now, or possibly guess what she’s thinking.

Maybe Noelle really didn’t like her anymore. Or maybe Noelle had heard from someone else about something horrible she did that she can’t quite remember and now she has this quiet hatred for her that she just doesn’t tell Susie about because-

“Why are you making that face?” Noelle leans in and examines Susie’s features closer.

“Wh-what?”

“You look… Upset. Is it Catti?”

The sudden questions bring back the nausea. She didn’t want to spill out all of her feelings to Noelle and especially not now. The very last thing she wanted to do was tell her anything and maybe upset her even more.

“No.” Susie shakes her head, not knowing what to say. 

“Are you okay, Susie?”

Oh, Angel. It was coming and going in waves. The words were sitting on the tip of her tongue. Noelle’s eyes looked into her own with that similar sparkle she would put on when she asked Susie to turn around. She tilted her head and fanned her eyelashes, which made Susie weak as ever.

Goddamn it, Noelle Holiday. Her defenses had come crashing down into a pile of dust.

“Why do you always make me look at the door?”

The feeling of letting it out brought her near catharsis. Her heart beat harder than ever against her chest, banging on and on as even the veins in her neck drummed along. Pricks of sweat form at her hairline, and she wonders if Catti had turned up the AC maliciously. 

Noelle lifted her head and dropped her hands into her lap. She looked down, her nose wriggling from side to side. She bit her lip once, then twice. Susie needed water.

“Susie… I… I just get nervous… in front of you.” Her eyes are glued to her lap as she speaks. “It-it’s not anything bad! It’s not like I think you’re scary but… I just care a lot about what you think. I don’t want you to think I look stupid, or think that I’m doing something wrong… I just want to impress you.”

Susie’s brain fully shuts down then boots back up. Hard reset. She can hear the chiming of her starting up as she stares at Noelle.

“Noelle… why would I ever think you look stupid? I could never do what you do, pssh, not in a million years. You do something really good. You should never try to hide it, especially not from me. I’ll always cheer you on.”

Noelle's antlers turn up as her head comes up with it.

“Really?” She reaches out for assurance, and Susie reaches back.

“Yeah. Really.”

It would be a much sweeter moment if Catti didn’t come up right after, nearly throwing down Susie’s plate and milkshake. It’s a point she makes to gently set down Noelle’s glass, which also got a coaster.

Catti leaves the serving tray on their table and goes back into the kitchen, peering through the window to monitor them.

Susie picks up the tray and drops it on the island to imitate the way she set down Susie’s food. Her lips curl up in a smirk when the sound is obnoxious.

“I think you left this here, Catti.” She forces a faux saccharine voice, saying her name with so much weight it would sink a ship. 

Sitting back down, she sees that Noelle is giggling. The world suddenly felt more vivid.

Susie picks up her hamburger bun to place some ketchup on her burger, only to find it had already been done for her. Whoever had put on the ketchup had done it in some symbol she didn’t recognize; she had a solid guess as to who did it. She squirts about three tablespoons of ketchup on top of it and starts to eat.

Noelle slowly sips on her tea and watches Susie destroy her burger and fries.

“Didja want some?” Susie pauses her chew of cheese fries to offer some up.

“No, they’re all yours.”

It’s dejavu-ish.

“So… Will you start coming back to rehearsals?” Noelle asks.

“Nah. I wanna wait to see you on stage. Build it up, you know?” She waves her hand around, the mental image of Noelle on stage was exciting enough.

Saving it until the day of would give her the full experience that everyone else would get. She’s already gotten a sneak peak, she thinks it’s better now to hold onto it. She remembers seeing a CD with Noelle in dark makeup, probably best suited for this event. Susie would turn tides to see her like that.

After Susie had polished her plate and Noelle had sipped all the tea in her cup, they figured Catti wouldn’t bother to bring the check. Noelle started to reach into her bag, but Susie was faster than her. She had pulled the cash from Sans out of her pocket and set down $15.

“I got it.” She blurts out, Noelle looks at the cash on the table, then the remaining cash in her hand.

“You really don’t have to, Susie.” She pulls out her doe eyes again, but Susie can be stronger.

“No, really. Your tea was probably like, a dollar anyways… So, no sweat.”

The pair gets up and slides out of the booth. Susie pushes the silver bar in to swing open the door for Noelle. Feeling eyes burning holes into the back of her head, she faces Catti, who is still watching through the window.

Susie’s first thought is to gift her a certain finger, but she knew she was trying to change. Well, not that much. She opts to sticking her tongue out at her quickly and escaping outside before she could do anything. Susie got the last word, and got to walk out with Noelle. She’d say she’s sufficiently burned Catti enough for her liking.

Now that peace had been restored to the world (at least in Susie’s world), Susie and Noelle would fall back into their same routine of walking to the Holiday house where they’d say their goodbyes.

The trip from QC’s to Noelle’s house was too short. They hadn’t seen each other in days, and now they had to be apart again until Saturday. Susie figures that the other would see no problem with this, and she had no idea how to voice her wants.

“I’m glad you told me how you were feeling.” Noelle brushes up against her shoulder. Susie yearns for her to linger longer, to keep them attached at the shoulder, or maybe by the hip, or the hands.

“It really didn’t bother me that much.”

Dirty liar.

“Well, that’s good. If something’s bothering you, you can always tell me.” 

Susie's heart tightens and releases.

“Yeah, same for you, Noelle.”

They end up in front of the gates once again, their intimidating nature never seems to wear off as they tower over Susie. The air flows between them, lifting up Noelle’s golden locks as she looks up to Susie.

Her breath becomes caught in her throat, she’s speechless looking at her.

“Thanks for the tea, and for walking me home. I really appreciate it.” Her words are laced with a hint of drowsiness which only works to make her cuter somehow.

“Anytime.” Is all Susie can squeak out.

Noelle keeps her feet planted in front of Susie, her nose moving from side to side. Susie is just as paralyzed as she is, unable to look away.

Noelle throws up her arms and gets on her tip toes, wrapping them around Susie’s neck as she brings her in for an embrace. If Susie was already deprived of oxygen in her lungs, it was now close to becoming a medical emergency because she will be fully depleted.

She snakes her arms around Noelle and holds onto her waist, fully engulfing her and completely eliminating all space between them. Susie can smell her shampoo: something fig-like and creamy. She breaths in deeply to take all of it in.

“I missed talking to you, these past few days.” The reindeer murmurs into her cardigan, her warm breath on her shoulder makes her head spin, the trees and gates becoming one in her eyes.

Susie places her hand on Noelle’s upper back and tries to bring her in as close as she can. Time stops as they stood there together, just holding one another. Susie could even pick Noelle up if she wanted, but she stopped herself.

“Let’s not stop talking like that again, okay?” Noelle picks her head up and whispers in Susie’s ear, which makes her scales flare from the goosebumps. It now seemed as if her intestines housed an emporium of butterflies the way everything within her fluttered.

“Okay.” She was a mess, she knew she couldn’t say anything else without sputtering like a car with a dead battery. Noelle had her like putty in the palm of her hands.

Noelle unhooks herself from her, running her hands over her shoulders before returning them back to her side. Susie follows suit and shoves them into her pockets to keep them at bay.

The moon starts to peak from over the Holiday garden, just beyond the gates. Noelle looks up to Susie one final time, the stars reflecting off of her irises.

“Goodnight, Susie.” Noelle’s cheekbones become more prominent in the darker lighting, casting new shadows on her face.

“Goodnight.” She mirrors back, waving to the other.

Noelle walks through the gates and is quick to round the corner, her person fully gone from Susie’s sight.

She looks at her shoes and laughs, rubbing her face in disbelief. She couldn’t believe how easy she was to fold, and she also couldn’t believe how Noelle made her feel.

Oh, Angel. She thinks to herself. There is no way I’m surviving that girl.

Chapter Text

The space is white and boundless. Susie can see her body as she looks down and her arms as she reaches in front of her, but there is nothing else to see.

She begins walking in one direction, only to find that it continues to lead into more of the area. There were no walls she could touch or dim corners she could spot. 

“Hello?” She calls out while trying to spot something in the vast escape. “Kris? Ralsei?”

There’s no answer. She yells out their names a second time to no avail.

She blinks, and suddenly a sheet covers her entire being. She reaches a hand out and grabs a fistful of it, pulling it over her head in an attempt to remove it. It doesn’t work. She jerks it over her head once again only for the cotton to rub against her hair as she continues to get lost in it.

Susie continues to grab onto the fabric, tugging on yard upon yard only to remain blinded. No matter the direction she walked in, and no matter how much of it she tried to pull, she would never be able to unsheath herself and breathe the air that lived atop it.

Her hands go cold the more cloth she drags over herself. Nerves fill her body in bundles and wrap themselves around her lungs and heart to constrict her breathing. There was no escape from the endless sea of white.

A blood-curdling shriek blares from behind Susie that says her name. Every syllable is painful and terrifying, making the hairs on the back of her neck rigid as they shoot straight up. When she turns around she vaguely sees a figure through the sheet.

Susie looks at the pair of antlers and hooves in front of her as the shape doubles over onto the ground.

“Noelle?”

Susie runs her hand along the cotton, feeling every string of thread pass by her fingertips. Noelle’s figure becomes less of a blob and more like herself when she approaches her. Her head hung low to the ground as her body folded in on itself.

Susie crouches down and finally creates contact with the other by grabbing her shoulders. Noelle looked like a shadow underneath the expanse of white that draped over her; Susie could only make out her figure and where she was looking because of her antlers.

“Noelle, are you okay? What’s happening?” Her grip tightens as she tries to bypass all the layers between them.

“Susie?” Noelle sounds hoarse, like she’s been screaming for hours. 

“Susie… Where are you?”

“What?”

Susie shakes her and prays that there was some kind of contact made, something to let Noelle know where she was. It feels like she was shaking her. Susie presses harder into the jagged bones of her shoulderblade and shakes her harder. Noelle remains completely still.

“I’m right here? Can’t you see me?”

She watches as Noelle turns her head around to the left then to the right. She looks right through Susie when her head hits the center. Noelle’s panic becomes more evident the longer she tries to find Susie; the fierce movements coming from her person only poured more alarm into Susie.

“Where are you?” The pitch of her voice becomes higher as Susie’s distress reaches an all time high. She continues to try and grab Noelle’s shoulders and arms to show her she was here.

“You- you can’t be here. You have to leave now, Susie.”

“What’s going on? Noelle, I can’t breathe.”

“No, you have to go. Please, Please.” Noelle’s desperation is absolute, but to no resolution. 

Another shadow appears behind the one in front of her. The silhouette is vaguely similar to Noelle’s. 

Another set of hands finds themselves atop Susie’s own, a freezing feeling encases the back of her hand. Her body and mind were completely frozen as she watches the figure tower over the two of them. They bring their face in closer to almost be nose to nose with Susie, taking in her air.

“You’ll ruin her, you beast.”

The shadow's grip digs into Noelle’s flesh before they begin to pull back and drag her away.

All reason and thoughts escape Susie the second she hears the other behind dragged across the floor. She shoots up from the ground and darts towards the two, their bodies become more obscure the farther away they go.

A bit of the sheet makes its way to billow under feet. Susie missteps as she slips to fall facefirst into the floor. She barely reacted quickly enough to catch herself, her forearms slam against the ground as hard floors made contact with her elbows, a line of pain shoots up through her bones.

The whiteness begins to wrap around her being as if she were a fabric bolt. The constriction forces a scream out of her as she reaches out to try and stop it. Everything around her spins while Noelle’s cries echo through the space with her own.

Pure animalistic instincts override her mind and body. Any well of rationality she had within her had run bone dry. There was no more time to think, she just had to do.

Susie grabs ahold of some of the fabric above her head and brings it closer to her head. She opens her mouth wide and places the bundle of cotton in the empty space, folding it in half. Her mouth is dry as it uncomfortably runs against her tongue.

Her razor-sharp teeth barely graze it before she snaps her jaw shut and pulls. A blunt sound resonates within her ears as her teeth pierce through the fabric. She feels the air become cooler when her teeth reach the other side.

Susie pulls in any direction she can to tear through the fibers that wound her up. The ripping sound is her first sign of success, and the blinding light of the room outside was her second.

Susie digs her nails into already torn pieces and works quickly to free herself. Rip, after rip, after rip plays repeatedly the more she bites and the more she tears. She becomes an unstoppable force; adrenaline courses through her like the drug the closer she gets to unbinding herself.

In one swift motion, she throws the last of the fabric off of her feet. Within the same second she picks herself up and runs after Noelle.

The dark figure from before becomes clearer when she approaches them; a dark, ghastly figure she’s only encountered within her darkest moments. A being that only exists to incite pandemonium. The thought bounces off her skull and lands with the rest of the thoughts Susie was leaving behind.

Noelle’s tearful and swollen face is now fully visible while she gains momentum to catch up the best she can, only missing them by a hair.

Noelle calls out to her in shouts before they devolve into shrills of horror. Susie extends her arm the farthest she can go, her fingertips barely brush against Noelle’s and once again, she screams-

“SUSIE!” A familiar voice shouts accompanied by a hand rapidly banging against a door. The hinges shake from the aggression.

The popcorn ceiling stares back at her when she cracks her eyes open. A thin blanket lies in the space between Susie and the wall her twin bed was pushed up against. Her mind is slow to react to it all, still reeling from the strange experience.
Susie massages her face, trying to shake the anxiety that coursed through her veins. Her pulse beat rapidly against her wrist and throat in quick successions. She could still feel Noelle’s fear lie low within her.

“Are you awake?” Her outrage from the inconvenience of waking up Susie was crystal clear, it almost felt like she was yelling in the youngers face despite being separated by a layer of bricks.

“Yeah, I’m up.”

“Take out the trash before you go.”

As always, Susie’s mother was to the point. Her bluntness (if it even could be called that) rang through in every sentence. Susie could tell her that she’s just won a million dollars, and she would still sport her unamused expression and ask her why she couldn’t aim for two million. If she wasn’t annoyed, she was completely indifferent; never having any sort of middle ground, or even a dash of compassion within her.

Heavy footsteps made their way from her room to the front door. Keys jangle rhythmically as they smack against one another. The door is just quickly as opened as it is shut, and Susie is alone.

A drawn out exhale goes past Susie’s lips. The mugginess of her mind dissipates in slow increments. Sunlight pokes out through various broken blinds, creating a disorganized array of light splayed on the walls and floor. 

For the first time in a long time, Susie was glad that she was in her room.

✶⋆.˚

Susie stands in the hallway of her apartment complex and shuts the door behind her. She has a black trashbag in one hand and a gold key in the other. She shoves the piece of metal into the keyhole and twists, a satisfying click follows.

The matters of her dreams are printed onto her brain. If Susie becomes lost in her thoughts for even just a moment, the claustrophobic feeling from being wound up in the sheets finds her again.

Noelle’s screams, paired with the image of her horrified expression, caused a spike in her heart rate. Seeing the Roaring Knight in her dream only worked her up further as she tried to rationalize it all.

Susie makes it to the first floor and exits the building, the black bag crinkling with every move she makes. The dim overhead lights of her building did little to prepare her for the brightness that awaited her outside.

The short walk to the alleyway nearly felt routine at this point. She turns the corner as trashcans and poor graffiti come into view. The smell of mildew and garbage hits you before you’re even past the buildings; it was almost becoming a source of comfort for her.

With her simple chore out of the way, the lack of plans that Susie had for the rest of the day was now her main concern. There was very little thought to put into her next decision, causing her to jump from one routine to the other.

Susie barely makes her third knock before Kris answers the door, dressed in an oversized shirt with a red and white mushroom and black pajama pants that swallowed up their legs. A pale trail of drool begins at the corner of their lip and ends on the side of their chin.

“Damn dude… Was the sleep good?”

“Something like that.” Their voice takes on a new cadence that Susie barely recognizes. It was a kind of huskiness that almost feels more human-like. She brushes it off as some kind of version of morning voice.

Kris steps to the side and opens the door wider for Susie.The scent of cinnamon fills her senses and puts her at ease, allowing her muscles to relax for the first time since she’s opened her eyes.

Susie instinctively heads to the couch where she collapses into the well-loved cushion. She sinks into the softness underneath her with ease while Kris moves across the room.

“Lemme go change.”

She watches their petite back escape from her view, footsteps thump up the stairs until she hears their bedroom door open and shut. From there, a lull occupies the air that was only occasionally cut through by her quiet breathing.

The warmth of the Dreemurr home allows for contentment to spill into her, bit by bit, until that small bout of nerves is completely flushed from her system. Her mind wanders to recount the events of yesterday. She can feel Noelle’s arms running down her shoulders in a lingering touch.

Just thinking about the reindeers warm whisper against her ear made her brain short circuit in the same exact way it did just under 12 hours ago. 

Susie was not unfamiliar with wanting, especially since she could say she wanted a lot of things. She wanted to eat drywall, she wanted to get her own phone, and she wanted to bring Ralsei with her everywhere. That type of want was typical

But this kind of want, the kind of want that consumes you whole, was not something she could say she knew very well. It was the kind of craving you harbored deep within your soul while you allow it to imprint onto your heart, never allowing you to forget how deeply you desired this.

Susie couldn’t even say what she wanted specifically. There was no action or responsibility that could come to mind when she imagined what this longing would amount to. There was no specific course of action she could think to take. Hell, she doesn’t even know how to verbalize it. There was only one thing she could see in her mind when she imagined what her want looked like.

All she could see was Noelle.

All she could see when she imagined the shape of her want were limbs entangled within one another every morning. It’s notes left in lunchboxes. It’s listening to her hum as she cooked dinner; every form that cycled through her mind all shared the same face and smell of fig.

Kris’ door opens and shuts once again, their shuffling footsteps move from over Susie’s head to the stairs, where they’d eventually appear at the bottom. One quick trip to the bathroom later, and they come out in their normal garb.

“Want a drink?” They pause in the kitchen to offer. “Mom got some orange juice.”

“Oh hell yeah. What snacks did she get?”

Within a thirty minute span, they had successfully swept through the kitchen and completely cleaned out the Dreemurr snack basket. Plastic bags of various bright colors all moved from being full in the pantry, to empty in the trashbin. Susie presses down into the plastic tower, compressing it further within the bin to try and hide the evidence of their feast.

They each take either side of the couch, with Kris folding their legs up to their chest and Susie sprawling her legs out in front of her. She stares at the abandoned TV stand that rests in front of them. Part of her enjoys the silence that they could share, but another equal part of her wishes she could turn it on and switch to the channel that plays ‘Meavis And Putt-head.’

“I had a weird dream last night.” Kris’ tone remains casual as they pick at their fingers.

“Seriously? I did too. Mine was freaky, dude. What happened in yours?”

Kris lifts up the corners of their lips as they stifle a snicker.

“I was on a double date with you and Noelle. Sans turned his shop into a restaurant, but we were the only table. You ended up fighting him about the food, and Berdly had to step in… but you knocked him out on accident.”

“Wow. That’s really- wait.” Susie’s eyes narrow as she zeros in on Kris. 

“Berdly was your date?”

Kris looks down, their bangs droop and fall against their eyes as they avoid facing Susie. Their mouth widens to speak, perhaps preparing a defense, but it goes nowhere. Kris takes it as she groans in disgust.

“Ugh, dude! That’s sick. I didn’t know you had a crush on him.”

“I do not have a crush on him.” They continue to evade Susie’s gaze as their voice firms up. “Dreams happen for weird reasons.”

“But dating Berdly, that’s like-”

“IwasnotdatingBerdly.” Kris cuts her off and speaks quickly, a clear sign of some sort of discomfort. There was nothing they could say, or nothing their soul could choose that could possibly reverse the situation they were in now.

“Nasty work.” She shakes her head with a sigh. 

Her fantasy world did not involve the blue bird living a life amongst herself, Kris, and Noelle, especially considering she wanted him as far away from Noelle as possible. If a basket came from the water and beckoned a sacrifice, she would throw Berdly over her shoulder and tie him in with ratchet straps. He’s sent down the river as a beautiful sunset plays out behind him.

“Whatever. What was your dream?”

The question brings Susie back to the white room. She’s brought back to the blinding, limitless space. A phantom feeling of cotton wrapping around her neck sources a hitch in her breathing. Her brain tries to put the right words together, but she doesn't know where to start.

“Uh, I was stuck in this, like, huge white room. Then, some kind of blanket covered me, and I couldn’t see anything. I had to bite through it to tear it off of me.” She aims to deliver her description in a collected way, leaving out the bits that would make her voice crack.

“Sounds scary.” 

“Yeah… it kinda was.”

Being vulnerable was just about as easy for her as replacing a car's alternator; and Susie sure as hell wasn’t any sort of mechanic. Still, Kris never judged her or invalidated her feelings, no matter how poorly they were phrased or how little she shared.

Admitting when she was terrified was probably the most difficult thing for her to do. Telling someone that a dream caused her panic was almost embarrassing, but she didn’t know why. She couldn’t bring herself to mention it to them.

She doesn’t dwell on it, and Kris doesn’t press or ask any questions. Susie silently thanks them for their tact.

The duo continues the flow of conversation as they always would: bringing up meaningless topics, with the occasional Susie rant coming about when she feels strongly about something.

While Susie was going on about ketchup on eggs, the landline rings, vibrating the handset with every batch of rings. Kris rises from their spot on the couch and moves towards the wall. They pick it up and bring it to their ear.

“Hello?”

From where Susie was sitting, there was no possible way for her to hear who was on the other line. Paired with the fact that their back was turned to Susie, obscuring their face entirely, there was little chance that she was figuring out who it was just from her seat. Even if Kris only used one tiny little muscle in their face, she’d be able to spot it.

She looks around the room, as if she hadn’t already been in their living room a multitude of times before. She tries to find something new and interesting to latch onto, but there’s nothing that stands out. An itch of nosiness arises within her that is fueled by Kris’ silence.

Kris’ shoulders jump from what Susie can only guess is shock. They bring their fingers to their face and crudely shove them into their mouth, turning whatever they were going to say into a bunch of nonsense.

They repeat the action again, their garbled words not coming through any clearer. Susie surveys their actions with some alarm. She knows it’s something that Kris does sometimes, biting their own hand or shoving some cloth into their mouth to garble the words they were saying. It was just another one of their quirks (even if it sometimes made her nervous to see).

About a minute after the gibberish, Kris slams the phone into the receiver, causing it to emit a note almost like a bell. Their feet remain planted in their spot in front of the phone.

“Who was it?” Susie tries to act like she’s being cool about it, but they both know she’s only putting on a facade.

Kris turns on their heels to face her, somehow sporting an even more unamused look than usual. Their lips were only drawn in a bit before they release the tension and relax their muscles. It was a small sign to her that there was something brewing within their mind. 

“Bratty.”

Their response is cursory in their typical flippant manner. Susie’s eyes pierce through the human opposing them. The air tilts in a new direction that feeds into her suspicions and begs her to ask questions.

“Bratty? What does she want?”

Kris stares at her blankly as they choose their next words wisely.

“She needs sugar.”

They make their way back into the kitchen and opens the cupboard under the microwave. Kris bends over and grabs the pink bag of granulated sugar, holding it against their chest as they move back to the couch.

“What does she need sugar for?”

“Baking.”

“Baking… right…”

Susie dips her head to the right to peek at them through squinted eyes. There were such minuscule things they would do that clued Susie into what was going on behind their otherwise unvaried exterior. She knows that there was not another living monster in Hometown that could read Kris the way she could, but sometimes she thinks she prefers it that way; they also probably hope for the same.

“Bratty needs sugar. Or maybe, your boyfriend does?” Susie gleams mischievously, becoming more excited for the tease with every word. 

The fingers on their free hand twitch, a sign she had gotten under their skin.

Kris discards the bag onto the table before they lunge over the arm of the couch, finding purchase in the decorative pillow that sat closest to them. Kris crawls over to Susie and shoves the pillow into her face, limiting her breathing while her limbs flail every which way.  

Susie roars with laughter through the thickness of the fabric and cotton filling. The two wrestle momentarily before she eventually is able to wrap her hands around Kris’ bony wrists. She forcefully moves them away, parting them as far away as she could as the pillow falls into her lap.

Susie and Kris look at each other, gasping for air from their brief tussle. Susie gently pushes them back into the arm of the couch before she releases them from her clutches. 

“Down, doggy.”

She picks the pillow up and aims for their face, hitting her target with perfect accuracy.

“Asshole…” Kris murmurs before they leave their spot.

“I’m not the one trying to smother people!”

The bag of sugar is back in their hands as it were before, folded up with a pink clip holding it all together. 

“I’m leaving.” Kris heads for the door, leaving Susie with a small shock. She gets up to try and follow them.

“Aren’t we going to Bratty’s together?”

“No.”

The front door swings open when they stand to face her. Their hand wraps around the doorknob, knuckles turning stark white from how hard they were squeezing, as if they were trying to cling onto the door and never leave.

“Dude, seriously?”

Their shoulders rise and collapse apathetically in response, as if there was nothing they could do. Kris pulls the door towards them and shuts it hard enough to make the frame shake.

Susie’s left alone in a house that she doesn’t even live in. She wants to say that this was strange for them, but they were susceptible to leaving for hours at a time for some reason unknown to her. It wasn’t anything she’d ever question in the same way Kris never did.

She’s quick to decide that hanging out alone in the Dreemurr house felt strange. She exits the quiet house and plants her feet in the grass.

In the few moments that Kris was out of her sights, they had already made it down the road and away from the household. 

“And I’m the asshole?”

The warm winds of summer rustle through the leaves of the trees, causing them to brush up against each other with a familiar sound. Susie breathes in with uncertainty in hopes that Kris may circle back to the house.

She paces in front of the door for nearly two minutes before she wises up; Bratty’s house was one of the closest to Kris’. There was no chance they were coming back anytime soon.

With nothing else left to do here, she stuffs her hands into her pockets and heads into town. She doesn’t even bother to check the green one-story for any sign of the human.

Susie walks down the tree lined road at a leisurely pace, taking her time as her feet lead her in no specific direction. She could repeat her actions from the past few days and just wander into whatever stores would let her, until she’s reminded of an invite from a stout skeleton.

Multicolored bricks come into view from behind the trees which places intention into her steps. She looks to the glass of the shop to see the luminescent lights glow from overhead, the ‘open’ sign welcomes her in.

Susie’s eyes reach Sans’ as soon as she walks in. He stands behind the counter while marking things off from some sort of checklist. His eyebrows lift in a keen manner with just a smidge of surprise.

“Didn’t think you’d be back so soon. You already blew through your paycheck?” It’s a shrewd comment that doesn’t phase Susie at all.

“Nah… Just looking for something to do.”

Susie leans and places the upper half of her body onto the baby blue counters, placing her chin within the palm of her hand. 

“You really don’t even need to pay me.”

“Kid, can I tell you something?” He awaits Susie’s approval before continuing. “You never work for free. Never. Half the time, you’re not even getting paid enough for the work you do. Stay lazy… Until the pay is good. It keeps your bones strong.”

It all just sounds like stuff she’s heard from others before; something adults just tell you to feel like they’re wise and mature. She believes that the reality of it was that they didn’t know what they were doing either, they were just all pretending they did to feel better about themselves.

Even with this in mind, she decides to pocket the information for later.

“Anyways, you wanna count stuff?”

He twists the clipboard around so that Susie could read it. She skims over the black text arranged into neat little columns. Sans had already scribbled in some of the boxes with a dark blue pen, showing her exactly where to pick up.

“Where do I start?”

The two work silently in the store, both focused on their individual tasks as the mindless music fills the air. Customers come and go in sparse amounts with no visit being more than ten minutes.

She’s counting the loose eggs when the skeleton sticks his head out from the other side of the counter and faces her.

“Do you wanna change the music?”

She simply shrugs as she counts her 34th egg. Her pen hits the paper and she fills the box with navy chicken scratch. 

“Doesn’t matter to me.”

“Is there anything you like specifically?” He grills into her, but to no answer. She just shrugs again and moves to the boxes of cereal behind her.

Sans doesn’t respond, instead, he shuffles around behind the counter and stirs around. She hears the plastic shells of CD cases slapping against one another. The easy listening of his typical soundtrack comes to a stop, causing static to play throughout the store. He inserts a new disc and hits play.

Susie tunes it out, then comes back in to pay attention for just a little. Paying attention to several things at once was never her strong suit; much less trying to understand whatever strange music Sans had put on.

“These guys are the ‘Talking Freds.’ Real good stuff you’ve probably never heard before.” He announces it proudly, which only causes Susie to roll her eyes. “No band has a live album this amazing.”

The album was funkier than the other things Susie had heard in the past few days. The band takes on new shapes throughout the songs as they never commit to one sound. The vocalist is right there with them, forming into whatever anatomy the song requires. At times, she doesn’t understand exactly what she’s listening to, but at others she is bopping her head along.

“Ooh,” Sans releases it with a sigh. “‘This must be the place’ is next. Greatest love song ever.”

To Susie, love songs contained all the same elements within one another, just presented in slightly differing ways from the last. It was always the same mushy garbage, about the same mushy man, and how the singer wants to do mushy things to him. It was a topic that she was thoroughly put off by.

What she expected to hear was another unorthodox melody from the instruments, followed by the singer yowling about some girl, and how much he wished they were together. She was set to roll her eyes so far back into her head that she would be able to look inside her brain and apologize for making it process this garbage.

Instead, the guitar begins with a simple plucked melody that continues to echo itself until the rest of the band kicks in. Unlike the full and powerful forte of the songs before, this one would begin to slip into something like a lullaby.

It was more serene in its approach as it adopts a sort of familiarity for the listener. Susie’s engagement heightens the more she gives into its gentle cradling that rocked her back and forth.

The singer doesn’t lose his robot-esque tonality, but it was as if he were beginning to feel, in some capacity. His words aren’t a demand or sappy story. What he sings doesn’t seem to be related to the idea of ‘love’ in any sort of capacity - it was like going through the motions while tiptoeing around the idea.

It sinks into Susie with an anchor and tugs at her emotions. The sweet song begins to take a shape in her mind that forces extra beats from her heart.

Another customer enters the shop while Susie is sitting on her knees to count the boxes at the back of the bottom shelf. Sans welcomes them in as he always did, to which he receives  a shy “hello” back. The voice of the recipient is one she recognizes straightaway.

Hooves enter her aisle to cause a forcible stop in front of her body. Susie looks up to find Noelle staring back down at her, a small green wallet within her grasp. 

“Hey, Noelle.” Susie gets up from the floor and dusts off her knees. 

“Hi, Susie.” She greets her warmly, the same way she always did. “What’cha doing?”

“Um, just working, I guess.”

Noelle lowers her attention to the hardboard clipboard in her hands when she places her finger in the corner. She presses lightly, tilting the paper towards her so that she could scan the text. Her pointer finger was just half an inch away from Susie’s thumb, which caused sweat to prick at her hairline.

The refrain of the song chains itself to her, creating links in the space between them. It’s all encompassing and tender in the way it binds them together.

“Working? When did you start?”

“Like, yesterday. It’s not like I have a schedule or anything I just, uh, come in when I feel like it.”

Noelle listens to her somewhat sheepish explanation. Something within Susie’s mind flared with embarrassment having to explain herself to Noelle, despite the fact that her doe eyes were as friendly as they always were. She always felt as if she were going to start stumbling over her words any moment and say something stupid to her.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at rehearsal?” Susie jumps ship from the topic and questions the other.

“We were going to all meet up, but it was actually Berdly that cancelled. He said he was getting something fixed at home and couldn’t have us being loud, or something like that.”

That freak is holding Kris hostage. It becomes evident the moment Noelle relays the information, until another thought strikes her.

What if Kris wants to be there? Wants to be… with Berdly?

Her spine is tickled by the feeling of disgusting sending itself down her back. She bookmarks the discussion for another day where she would thoroughly interrogate them and find the truth. 

Susie forces her attention away from Noelle and back to her paper. In an attempt to look busy (most definitely not so that she can seem nonchalant in front of the other) she continues to count fruit in baskets.

“Must be nice to have a night off after all that practicing. What are you gonna get up to?”

2, 4, 6, 7 bananas… She writes.

“I actually came by to grab some stuff for dinner. My mom won’t be home until late, so it’s just me…” Susie fails to notice the twitching of her nose as she talks.

8, 10, 12 apples…

“I-I’m glad I ran into you! Susie, if you’re not doing- busy after work… Do you want to, like, come over or something?”

Susie halts her pen from moving any further down the page. Her body remains still as she unintentionally cuts off her breathing; she almost fears looking towards Noelle because she’s convinced she’ll implode, leaving her blood and guts painted all over the linoleum aisles.

“Un-unless you don’t want to!” Noelle takes Susie’s silence as rejection and attempts to rescind the invitation to save herself the embarrassment. “Or if you have something to do it’s oka-”

“I can come over after I’m done here. Does that work?”

“She’s actually almost finished for the day.” A deep voice butts into their conversation from the counter. Susie twists to find Sans leaning over once again, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Can you wait ten minutes?”

“Yes!” Noelle nods rapidly from the excitement, before she clears her throat and bobbles her head slower.

“I’ll grab my stuff then meet you outside, okay?”

Susie agrees with cheeks that are growing redder by the second. Noelle grabs things hastily throughout the course of her trip. She bounces from the freezer to the dry goods, picking up things without really looking at them. Within five minutes, she’s standing outside.

“The mayor's girl, huh?” Sans stares at the back of her blonde head through the window.

“Um… yeah. We’re friends.” She tries to avoid his eyes so that he might not see her shyness that comes up when talking about her.

“All you kids always say that when it’s staring you dead in the face.”

Sans speaks like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but the meaning is lost on Susie entirely. His inflated ego and way of speaking was beginning to peeve her all too much.

“What’s staring me dead in the face?” She jots down another random number due to her losing focus. She doesn’t even remember what she’s counting anymore.

“”Friends” don’t stutter when they invite each other over to their houses. And they especially don’t mention the lack of a parental figure either. That's a very non-friendly action for someone to take, don’t you think?”

“She treats everyone like that! It’s very normal for her.” Susie bares her teeth at him while she snarls. His chuckle only builds up the pressure within her head, and steam nearly rolls out of her ears.

“Sure. Well, I think you’re all good for the day, kiddo.”

Susie walks back up to the counter and places the clipboard down in front of the register along with his pen. Sans holds out green dollar bills for her to take. When Susie tries to pull them towards herself, he tugs on them harder, forcing her attention back to him.

“Don’t let mayor Carol catch you guys.” He winks playfully in the same way he did yesterday. He releases his grip on the money and thanks Susie for her work.

“Thanks…” 

She shoves the notes into her back pocket with little care as to whether or not they’d become crumpled. The strange music dies down as she exits the shop once again. Susie tries to will away the blush that resided within her cheeks, but it seemed like it would never go away.

The girls lock eyes the second Susie’s feet hit the concrete. Whenever she felt Noelle’s gaze on her, it was as if she became hyperaware of every single action she was taking. She worries about how her hair looks, or if the other notices the holes in her shoes. Even so, Susie wanted Noelle to look at her, to keep on looking at her forever. 

She couldn’t understand herself these days.

“Are you ready to go?” Noelle asks.

“Yup.”

They set off towards the Holiday home while the sun slinks down into the earth. Clouds slowly roll over their heads while they both decide to never address or fix their constant brushing of shoulders. 

“How did you start working at Sans’?” 

“Honestly, I was just wandering around the store when he asked me to put away some boxes for cash. He told me I could come back and work whenever I needed cash, so…” Susie brushes her fingers through her hair to calm down some of the frizz.

Noelle replies with an airy hum of understanding. They graze against one another again while making their way onto the road that Noelle lived on. The gates stood as tall as they always were. The more Susie sees them, the less intimidated she becomes.

The metal groans with a screech as they pull to the side to allow the two inside. The luscious green trees and bushes contrast against the golden ones encasing the town. The sound of their shoes hitting the decorative stones is all they hear.

Susie remembers the events of the last time she was in the Holiday home as if it were yesterday. Carol’s acidic words coursed through her with a burn that may never go away. She feels her icy stare looking into her soul, a sheen of disapproval that reads “you don't deserve her at all.”

Susie shakes her conscience of the memories to focus on what was in front of her.

Noelle had wordlessly led them through the house and into the kitchen, where she’d set down her bags and begun taking things out. Susie was only snapped back into reality when she was putting away the last of the items.

“Do you need any help?” Her offer is half-mast, a courtesy she felt to extend because it was the right thing to do. She was just standing there, after all.

“Oh, no, no. It was hardly anything.” She assures the other. “Are you hungry?”

“Honestly, I think the better question is when am I not hungry.” 

“Oh! Well, if my cooking will take too long, you can eat some of the snacks I just got.” Noelle works fast to pull out chips and cookies from the pantry. “Or, we have some figgy pudding I can throw in the microwave.”

It takes Susie by surprise that Noelle immediately begins to try and work something out for her, an action she hasn’t had done for her many times in the past. It glues her to her spot as she pulls out package after package and offers everything in her kitchen to her.

“I-it’s okay, I promise I can wait! Uh, maybe I can help you cook?”

Noelle accepts her offer graciously (by nearly shouting ‘yes!’ before Susie was even done with her sentence) and gently (forcefully) throws all presented food items back into their spots. 

And so, their cooking together plays out like this: Noelle instructs Susie through certain tasks, such as cracking the eggs into a bowl and beating them, and putting the waffles in the toaster. Noelle prepares the pans and bacon on her own while occasionally checking in on her work. Susie is gentle with every single thing she touches in fear of ruining something in their perfect kitchen.

Susie is so gentle in fact, she hardly is able to beat the eggs together. They meekly swim amongst each other in streaks of white and yellow; she shows Noelle her work with a triumphant air, and she can’t bring herself to tell the other to fix it. She swoops in and beats them once Susie turns her back.

The result is a plate of waffles, scrambled eggs, and crispy bacon all residing next to one another. Susie drowns her eggs in ketchup and pours an unholy amount of syrup on her waffles. She tops it off with a large knob of butter atop the light brown round.

“Damn, Noelle. We should open our own restaurant, or something.” She looks over the plate in amazement, as she was never able to create something like this herself.

“Fahahaha! If you think this is good, you should see what I whip up during Christmas.” 

Susie pictures a feast lined against the long Holiday dinner table. Red and green plates hold an assortment of mains and sides, all looking commercial ready and hot. Would Noelle maybe bring her a plate this Christmas?

Noelle sets down her plate and cup of cranberry juice on the counter closest to the door. Susie observes as she begins to eat, leaning against the counter rather than going to the table. She asks no questions and mirrors the reindeer.

“So, your mom’s out tonight?” Susie takes a bacon slice in one go after her question.

“Yeah. Sometimes she’s home around 9, then sometimes she comes home real late, like 4 or 5 AM. Then, there are other times I think she just sleeps in her office since she doesn’t come home.” 

The sentiment is not one that is far removed from ones Susie held; it was one that she knew all too well. A revolving door of a mother that only comes around at her lowest moments, ready to bring her down to her level with just one snide comment.

“Kinda sounds like my mom, heh. Just… in and out, however they please.”

Noelle nods slowly while chewing on her food, looking at no specific spot on Susie’s face. Her eyes flit from one feature to the other in analysis. It felt like Noelle was committing it all to memory, and Susie could only do the same.

“Do you look like your mom?” 

“Nope. Not at all. We’re both purple, but that’s it. I pretty much look exactly like my dad, well, according to my mom.” The memories of her moms disdain for her appearance weaves back through her mind. “And she just so happens to think my dad is reaal ugly.”

She stabs at ketchup soaked eggs several times, trying to pick up as much as she could onto her fork. She laments at the wound within her, one that yearns for some kind of approval that maybe she wasn’t the wretched thing she was made out to be. It was a deep-seeded shame she barely ever held a candle to; never to be addressed or satiated.

Still, she says nothing else about it to the other. Noelle picks up on her reserve and leaves it to rest. 

Noelle is swift to change the topic, instead talking about the upcoming competition and what to expect. She gives Susie a rundown of their competitors by comparing them to whatever band Pizzapants thought they sounded the most like. Susie still doesn’t know any of them, but she pays attention anyways.

Their dinner ends with polished off plates and crumpled napkins. Susie’s almost looks like a crime scene of sauces and syrups blending into one another. Just as she offered to cook, Susie also offered to clean. Noelle washed the dishes while the other dried them off with a festive rag.

The domesticity of their actions tears a hole within Susie. She almost sees it as a glimpse into the life that awaits her; past the gates of the Holiday home, and the golden trees of Hometown was perhaps a life forever standing next to each other, completing the dishes.

Nightfall cast its shadow over the whole town without either girl even realizing it. The day was coming to an end, and yet neither one of them found it appropriate to leave now. For them, it was just beginning.

Noelle shuts off all the lights within the home as they make their way up to her room. Susie trails behind her while taking another look over the house. She notices that nothing had been moved since they were here last, still frozen in time.

When Noelle enters her room, she navigates it in complete darkness. Susie is left at the door with little visibility and awareness of what the other was doing. She can hear some shuffling and messing with a wire. This causes a string of lights to glow around her bed, softly lighting up the space.

Noelle’s face becomes washed in a flood of red and green. The lights were low, not even enough to light up the other side of her bedroom. It only provided enough to showcase her bed, couch, and trophies.

“I don’t really want to turn on my big light, you know?”

Susie silently agrees. She’s unable to look away from the new hills and valleys of the reindeer's face, creating her anew before Susie’s very eyes. Nerves light up within her as if there were a trail of gasoline homed within her.

“Is it too dark for you?”

“No. It’s perfect.”

Susie melts into the pink couch when she leans back into it. A subtle ache in her leg muscles reminded her that she hadn’t sat down all day, but she couldn’t pay it any mind. Noelle takes the spot next to her, only leaving a few inches of space between them.

Susie scans Noelle's face again, now reimagined and changed in the new light. She wishes to trace shapes with her finger, but she instead opts to trace it with her eyes. She carves out the striking features of the others with a careful glance. She doesn’t want to forget anything about the way Noelle looked right now.

“What are you thinking about?”

Susie’s mouth runs dry at the question. There was no way for her to explain what she was thinking right now without exposing her affection for the other.

“You ask a lot of questions.” Susie chuckles as she tries to look away and pay attention to something else.

“Oh!” Noelle covers her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Noelle. Maybe, um, I should just ask you questions instead?”

Noelle fans her eyelashes in that way that drives Susie crazy as she decides what to say next. Noelle opens her mouth to begin, but quickly bites down on her bottom lip with her teeth. Her blinking turns slow before she finally looks back up at the other.

Susie’s insides were turning themselves inside out at the display. 

“What do you want to know?”

Everything. How do I say everything and not sound weird? Is there any way to tell someone that you want to know every little thing about them without being seen as a total weirdo?

She ponders on the numerous questions you could ask someone to get to know them. Susie considers things such as “what is your favorite way to punch someone?” Or, “how many punches do you think you could take before you’re knocked out?” Or, her personal favorite: “how many hot dogs can you eat before you chuck it back up?”

“Uh… where would you live, if you had to live somewhere else?”

Noelle turns up to the ceiling in thought, her eyebrows follow whatever train of thought was going through her mind. Susie tries not to study her expressions, but it becomes nearly impossible to tear her attention away.

“I’d go somewhere where it snows all the time. It would be cold all year around, and there’s be snow falling down whether it was day or night.” Noelle speaks as if her fantasy were playing out in front of her.

“If I had to go somewhere far away, I’d go wherever I can start brand new. I’d go to a place where nobody knows my face, or my family, or my history. Nobody would look at me with pity, or avoid me because of my parents. I wouldn’t be the daughter of the mayor, or the tragic girl with a missing sister or sick dad. I’d just be… me.”

Susie drinks in the explanation slowly. Noelle’s burdens now appeared before her like a steel bar that rests on her shoulders. Her small figure sinks deeper into the couch, as if she were trying to disappear from view completely.

“Everything in this town is a reminder of something. It lingers in the air like a disease that I can’t get rid of. There’s no medicine, or cure, or… anything. It only lives in Hometown, so if I left, I could leave it here forever.”

“Is there anything that doesn’t remind you of it?”

Her doe eyes stare through Susie’s own with a twinkle of something she can’t recognize. It’s a short-lived staring contest between the two; Susie chickens out only a mere few seconds after her breath becomes caught in her throat. Her eyes land at her mouth. The air between them sits still before her response.

“You.”

Her confession is barely above a whisper. If Susie weren’t already staring at her lips, she may have never understood her one-worded answer. Her body goes rigid under Noelle’s intensive stare, unable to move any muscle or expel any air from her lungs.

“I mean, you are the only one who doesn’t… talk to me like everyone else does. It’s like I can see her reflection in their eyes, forcing me to remember all the time. Even Kris does it sometimes. Susie… you’re just… above all of it. You’re not tied down to something in this town the way the rest of us are. You’re free from it. When I look at you, I feel free too.”

Susie could not think of a single thing to say to her. There was no single thought that floated around within her mind to respond with; Noelle had properly stunned her. As dumbfounded as she was, there was something coming through the brain fog.

Susie’s body commits to a motion before she could even have a second to think about it.

Susie’s arms extend in front of her, reaching out for the other. She slides her hands over Noelle’s waist and reaches around her where she plants one palm on the small of her back, and the other directly on top. She starts to bring Noelle in closer, but there was no force to be applied; the reindeer immediately gives in to her touch and completely does away with the measly inches that parted them.

Noelle slides closer to her body and returns the embrace, arms wrapped around her neck and hands ending at her broad shoulders. Noelle digs her head into the side of Susie’s neck, using her shoulder as support for her head. Noelle’s light hair tickles her face while the smell of her shampoo wafts up into her nose. Susie tightens her grip on the girl to avoid going completely mad.

“Noelle… I…” Susie breaks the silence, despite still not knowing what to say.

“Susie…” Noelle breathily says her name in the space just below her ear. Her lips barely brush up against her when she says it; the sensation sends a hot flash throughout her whole body as her breathing continues to span over her neck.

Susie can feel her heart pounding against her chest hard; hard enough that Noelle probably feels it against her own as it drums in quick successions. Noelle only nudges her nose further into her scales as if she weren’t close enough to her.

Everyone in Susie’s life had coined her as an agent of chaos before she was even allowed to make her own case. Her fate was decided for her the second others laid their eyes on her; they decided what she was and who she was going to be. For as long as she can remember, she’s been a bad seed who would never cup anything beautiful in her hands for too long before she destroys it.

It felt like she was proving them all wrong.

The two hold each other, barely illuminated by the string lights along Noelle’s bedframe. They breathe each other in slowly without ever loosening their grip on the other. Susie thinks if she lets up, Noelle will slink away into the darkness and never come back.

“If I went somewhere far… where it was freezing, and snowy all the time… would you come with me?”

Noelle barely picks her head up, talking into Susie’s jawline as she poses her question. Susie turns her head to face her when she realizes she was a hair away from Noelle’s face. She scans the now close features of the other with her mouth agape. Could Susie smell her chapstick now? 

“Uhhuh.” Susie gives a throaty response while desperation overtakes her senses. She couldn’t stand the distance between them anymore, despite there barely being any.

“You’re really beautiful, Susie.”

The compliment sends unfamiliar waves through her body. Susie didn’t realize that she had gasped until Noelle smiles at her in that knowing way, the pleasure of stunning Susie again was evident on her features. It calms her and possesses her all at once.

Noelle’s eyes look down to her lips, still parted from the shock of her comment. Noelle’s overjet teeth capture her bottom lip once more before she catches Susie’s eyes again, dazzling and begging Susie for something. For just a moment, she thinks that she sees the kind of want within the reindeer that she feels burning deep within herself.

“I want to-”

The front door unlocks which cuts her sentence short. The sound of the door swinging open causes the girls to nearly jump out of their skin.

“Oh, no.” Noelle’s eyebrows knit in panic. She untangles herself from the other and stands up from the couch. She turns to Susie and grabs her arm to get her up too.

“Hide under the bed.” She moves quickly through frantic whispers. She bends over and lifts up the light blue bedskirt, creating an entrance for Susie to get inside. Susie gets on her knees and assesses the space between the ground and her bedframe.

“Am I going to fit?”

“Just go!” 

Susie lays flat on her stomach and slithers underneath the bed as fast as she can. To her surprise, the fit was snugly with just a little wiggle room. Noelle drops the bedskirt back down, only leaving a small margin between the fabric and the floor that allowed her to view very little.

Susie can hear Noelle climb onto her bed and rustle with the sheets. She adjusts herself before going completely still, letting out a soft snore every once in a while.

Heavy footsteps make their way up the wooden stairs, with every step seeming more deafening than the last. Susie places her hand over her mouth to try and stop any sounds from leaving her mouth.

Noelle’s doorknob turns and clicks gently before Carol enters her bedroom. She keeps her eyes on her hooves as she makes her way inside the room to approach the bed. She stands so close to Susie without even knowing it.

Her necklaces knock against one another when she leans down and plants a kiss on Noelle’s forehead. Carol stands there for a few moments, presumably looking at her daughter.

Susie watches her turn around and exit the room, still mindful to shut the door gently so that she wouldn’t wake Noelle.

She walks above their heads and clomps until she reaches her own bedroom. This time, the door slams and the sounds of her walking completely die out. They were once again alone.

Noelle reaches underneath the bed and pulls the bedskirt away. She leans over the bed with her head upside down, golden hair pooling on the floor beneath her.

“Good job.” She holds up the cotton and allows Susie to slither back out.

When the two make eye contact again, they can’t help but giggle at their success. Susie would have never believed that it would work, and yet, she remains unscathed after being in the same room as Carol. Noelle stands back up from the bed and places herself right in front of the other.

“Are you going home?” Noelle asks in a hushed tone as she bites her cheek.

Susie was still reeling from the way they were just a few minutes ago. Her judgement was completely clouded by Noelle, and her shampoo, and her breathing against Susie’s neck. She knows that if she leaves now, she’ll regret it forever.

“I don’t want to go home.”

Noelle nods feverishly at her response while her eyes light up.

“I don’t want you to go home, either.”

A dam bursts free within Susie’s will; completely voiding her of all self control and reason. Her ability to think clearly was misted by Noelle’s sweet words and fingertips digging into her shoulder. Desire flares up within her chest before she acts.

She wraps an arm around Noelle’s shoulder and hooks her other behind her knees. Noelle instinctively anchors herself by holding onto Susie’s shoulders; she gasps quietly once her feet are off the ground and she’s held close to Susie’s chest.

“Hey, you’re pretty light.” Susie is able to send her a few centimeters up into the air before the reindeer lands back within her grasp, causing a yelp from the other. Noelle stares at Susie with wide eyes as a pink blush scores across her cheeks. “Was that, uh, okay?”

“Oh, Angel, yes- yup. Mmmhmm. That is very okay for you to do when you feel like it.” Noelle assures her through continuous nods.

Susie walks over to Noelle’s bed where she gently lowers her down onto the mattress. She hovers over her legs and begins to grab at her duvet to tuck her in. Noelle sits up and wraps her fingers around Susie’s wrist to stop her from laying it on top of her.

“W-why are you…” Noelle’s voice trails off as she puts more pressure into her clutch.

“What? You don’t wanna be tucked in?” Susie quirks an eyebrow as she starts to think that maybe Noelle preferred to tuck herself in.

“It’s not that, I'm just, um… where are you sleeping?” 

“On the couch, dummy.” 

Noelle raises herself up higher until she’s on her knees to make herself about the same height as Susie. When they’re face to face again, Noelle places both of her hands on the sides of her arms.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch.” She speaks lowly, the breath of her whisper blooms against Susie’s lips.

“So… should I sleep on the floor?”

Noelle’s hand skirts down her arms until she can grab onto Susie’s fingers. She gracefully lays herself back down on the bed with a grip still on the other. When Noelle looks up at her through her lashes and blinks dreamily, she knows she’s in trouble. The reindeer tugs to beckons her to join.

“Noelle, are we both gonna fit on here? I might crush you…” The mention of crushing widens Noelle’s eyes even bigger than before. Susie feels crazy in thinking that maybe that was the kind of response she was looking for.

“It’s no problem! I like the pressure…” She looks to a corner of the room to avoid Susie’s gaze during her admittance.

“Uh… yeah. Let me just take off my shoes.” 

Susie sits on the bed with her back against Noelle as she tears off her sneakers in record time. She shrugs off her cardigan to reveal a plain white t-shirt underneath, she haphazardly tosses it on the couch.

Susie slides her body onto the soft mattress. Noelle’s silk sheets glide cooly against her scales, finally bringing her some relief from the heat that the reindeer imposed on her. When she finally puts her whole weight onto the bed she feels just how plush it is underneath her. That, combined with the scent of fresh laundry, was enough to put her to sleep. She begins to doze off, until she feels a shift from the other side of the bed.

“Can I ask you something, and you promise not to judge me?” Noelle moves in closer to the other. Susie cracks open an eye and looks to the other before she hums in agreement.

“Can you, uh… like, hold me, a-and just, like, squeeze me as hard as you can?” Her nervous delivery strikes Susie straight in the heart. “I know it’s weird, I’m sorry I’ve just always wond-”

Susie silences her by grabbing onto her shoulders, nearly manhandling her into her grasp. Noelle shoves her face into her neck once again as her hands snake up to lie on either side of Susie’s head on the pillow.

Susie establishes a firm grip on either side of her body, homing her hands in the divots of her waist.

“I won’t go too hard, but just let me know if it’s too much, okay?” She mutters into Noelle’s ear softly. The reindeer exhales raggedly into her neck as she nods.

Susie begins to press her arms into her body. Little by little, she exerts more force the longer that she holds on. She can feel Noelle’s ribcage against her forearms the more pressure she applies. Noelle doesn’t make so much as a peep, even when Susie thinks she’s charting dangerous waters.

She decides to just risk it once; she applies a kind of force that even she wouldn’t think to exert onto herself. When she pushes in, Noelle allows a breathy sigh to escape from her lips. She feels the other adjust her head to come up completely to her ear, her mouth fully making contact with it.

“That’s perfect.” 

Noelle’s head drops down onto her pillow where she takes in a deep breath, and lets out a quiet snore.

Susie keeps her near death grip on Noelle until her muscles ache. She only loosens up her grip slightly once she’s assured that the girl is asleep. 

With Noelle pressed into her chest, Susie finally gives in to the heaviness of her eyes, breathing in fig with a small smile on her face.

Chapter Text

When Noelle wakes up that balmy summer morning, she opens her eyes to complete darkness. Her senses were consumed by woody pine while dark hair shielded any light from reaching her. Her nose and cheek were smushed into pliable skin that nearly melded them together. 

Around her body were large hands that encased her completely, a death grip on her middrift that kept her from moving or wiggling around. Noelle could feel her eyelashes brush against Susie’s neck in rapid motions; her vision began to adjust to the darkness just enough that she could begin to make out the pattern of Susie’s scales.

Above her, the girl snored deeply in concurrent intervals. Noelle syncs up her breathing with Susie’s, noticing how still her body was as she slept.

She sleeps like the dead. I don’t think she’s moved an inch.

One of her arms had ended up around her shoulder at some point during the night, while her other was trapped between Susie and herself. Noelle begins to bend the fingers of her freehand to try and rid her joints of some stiffness she gained overnight. When her nail sweeps across Susie’s skin, she almost jumps in fear of waking her.

Susie doesn’t move or have a hitch in her breathing, she just continues on as she had been. She releases some of the tension in her body and lays a flat palm across Susie’s nape.

The events of their impromptu sleepover swirl around in Noelle’s mind where waves of embarrassment and anxiety wash over her to take her in completely. For a brief moment, her mind wonders if she has been too forward or bold; if Susie felt obliged to agree for some reason, then she’d wake up and never want to speak to her again.

If there was something that would ruin their friendship, she was sure it would be this. And yet, she couldn't find it within herself to even try and separate her being from their current entanglement. If they parted now, she may never get the chance to be this close to her again.

Noelle draws in a deep inhale of cedarwood when she decides to allow some selfishness to peek through her, allowing her to just lay there next to Susie as they had already been doing for hours. The morning birds sing a sweet and familiar song, accompanying Susie’s snores.

Minutes continue to fly by without her paying any mind to it, the time became the least of her concerns; especially since she just wished for the clock to stop itself entirely. An eternity where she would lay besides Susie was one she had no problem living in.

Noelle had never been happier to have no personal space.

Noelle brings her face closer to the flesh in front of her. Her nose meets the space underneath Susie’s ear where her pulse was the most prevalent. Feeling the beat against her nose, she inhales deeply.

It was pure musk. Powdery, earthy, all natural skin not doused in perfume or lotion. The smell is full-bodied just as much as it is concentrated- it hits her harder than a glass of moonshine. She feels her breath dance against her fur when she exhales. She takes in more, now laced within her lungs was that smell.

She knows it's completely self-indulgent when she presses herself further into her scales to chase for more. Her other senses are growing hazy the more she nudges into Susie. Noelle feels some resistance against her nose that stops her from pushing any further.

Susie’s rhythmic snores skip a beat and land back on its offbeat, she then stops making noise entirely. The compression that circled around her from her grasp loosened for the first time since she held her. Noelle’s joints freeze up as she waits for some kind of acknowledgement.

The dark hair that sat on her face slides to one side, finally revealing the room to Noelle. She sees the back of Susie’s head staring ahead at the wall. The other slowly turns her and peers down, craning her neck to see the reindeer. She unravels herself from the other and places two firm hands on either side of her waist before pulling her up with ease, bringing them face to face.

“Good morning, Noelle.” Susie’s eyes were only half-lidded, still laden with sleep.

“Good morning.”

Being released from her grasp, Noelle could feel the blood in her veins racing back to spots they couldn’t reach before. It delivered itself to every cold limb with a pulse that beat against her skin. She was unsure if she was becoming dizzy from the sensation, or from that fact that Susie’s snout was practically touching her nose.

“Wait.” Susie’s eyes widen which causes Noelle’s heart to drop within the pits of her being.

“You got a little eyebooger.” She raises up a cautious hand and places it directly in front of the eye she’s staring at, her claw floating near the aforementioned eyebooger.

“Oh.

Noelle rubs her entire face, digging into her eyes for just a moment in an attempt to jumpstart her brain again.

Stop looking like an idiot!

“Uh, did I get it?”

“I think you probably got everything that was on your face.” Her lighthearted snicker brings the reindeer's heart back to its home in her chest. 

Susie’s daisy-colored scleras sat in stark contrast to her deep irises, closer to looking black than brown. She blinks slowly at Noelle, her hands still firmly wrapped around her sides. Her large hands almost encircled her waist completely with her fingers just being a centimeter or so off from meeting one another; as if Noelle needed another thing to fawn over.

“Didja sleep good? I didn’t break a rib or anything, right?” Susie’s voice neared a tease, but concern came through instead.

“No, no, I don’t think so, at least.” 

Noelle runs her hands over the bones to find nothing wrong with them. Even if Susie had fractured one, she couldn’t blame her or be upset since Noelle knows that she’s the one who asked for all the force of a hydraulic press to be put onto her. Would it even hurt if she did crack a rib, or would it just be bliss?

“All intact. Did you sleep okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Your mattress is like sleeping on a cloud. I don’t even know how you get out of bed in the morning.”

She understood the feeling all too well, but only now in this moment was she glued to it because of the girl laying in front of her. Noelle has half a mind to pick up the thing and tell Susie to bring it home with her.

Or, could she just tell Susie that she could sleep here every night?

Don’t scare her away, Holiday.

“I’m glad.”

All of her decisions up to this point have brought her to this, which she would consider a savory outcome. Despite still being in her clothes from yesterday, with unbrushed teeth and wild hair, she couldn’t pay attention to anything else except Susie. She couldn’t pay attention to anything except the heat coming from her fingers as she pressed into her, she couldn’t think about anything else when their legs were intertwined into one another, she finds it hard to even form a coherent sentence when she just spent the whole night curled up into her.

All she can do is look through the window that Susie unknowingly provides, a window that showcases what life could be. It wasn’t as if Noelle was some kind of psychic, or even that her fantasies would completely come true, but it was an idea.

It was the idea of a warm home, their pictures on the wall, favorite meals on rotation once a week, debriefing on the couch after work, the ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ kisses, random “I thought of you and had to get this” gifts. The whole mushy package, and more!

Susie squeezes her to bring her back to reality, bringing down the pane and shutting the window for the time being. She scans the girl's features like she hasn’t done it a million times already.

“I should probably go home.” Susie says it like she’s about to start moving away, but she remains in her spot, her eyes flitting between different parts of her face. 

“Yeah.” It wasn’t the answer she wanted to give, but it was the only thing that ensured to her that she still had some self control.

Noelle plants her hands into the mattress in the small margin of space that floated between herself and Susie. She lifts her body up which causes Susie to retract her hands and bring them back to her person. Once she’s sitting up, the other follows suit.

Noelle could feel it, something there. It was a thick, heavy something that crowded around their beings. It’s not knowing where to start or where to end, or even what’s in the middle of it. There was no doubt in her mind that Susie knows, to some extent, how she feels. If anything, she was sure that she knew after tonight.

Even beginning to approach the idea of saying something paralyzes her. Her tongue becomes tied while her mind is devoid of any and all thought. There was no good place to start, and there wouldn’t be any good place to end.

She had been so forward just a few hours ago. Where was all of her boldness now? She got herself into this, but couldn’t see it through. 

Her window darkens to a tint so black, it only mirrors her fearful reflection.

Bringing Susie into her life in this way means that she’ll become indoctrinated into everything else that plagues her. Her mother, her sister, and her reputation will all cling onto Susie somehow and bring her into the heaping pile of baggage.

Noelle swallows hard and shelves the topic. Susie was still sitting in front of her, also not saying something, for whatever reason.

“Do you need anything before you go? Bathroom or… something?” It dawns on her that she may also potentially be a bad host, as well as a bad person to be with, all within 2 minutes. It’s another topic she shelves.

“Nah. I’m goin’ straight home.” 

Noelle watches her frame bend down as she puts her shoes on. She slides herself off of the bed and gets up to escort her out, but then remembers a pretty big problem within her place of residence.

“So, I can’t take you through the front.” Unsure of where her mom currently was in the house, she couldn’t take any chance that would end in being spotted.

“Well, damn. I gotta jump out of the window, don’t I?”

Noelle is unsure as to how Susie was able to escape so gracefully, especially considering how she had never even seen this side of her house before. With only one near miss, she almost made it down without any hiccups.

She had made her own trek herself, multiple times, with the help of Kris. But for someone seeing it for the first time, she was taken aback at how easy she made it look.

She watches the other as she goes farther and farther down the yard, turning occasionally to see when Noelle would be out of her sights. Right before she’s completely eclipsed by a white wall, Susie turns around entirely and nods in acknowledgement, Noelle raises up her hand and offers a wave.

Susie exits from her window, leaving her alone in the frame.

✶⋆.˚

Susie escapes from the Holiday yard as gracefully as she could, by sneaking through the cramped path shown to her by Noelle. Completely skirting around the gate while twigs constantly poked at her. When she made it out, she only found one leaf in her hair, which was a win for her.

She feels relief when she doesn’t see anybody on the street ahead of her to gawk at her slinking away from the Mayor's house. Lucky for her, a familiar house was nearby, with a familiar someone she had to see.

Simply put, Susie’s view of friendship had so few references, she didn’t know what exactly “friend” behavior meant. Maybe she has to start cuddling Kris too?

With her shoes fixed into the rough, coir blue placemat, she delivers several raps to the door. It’s not long before Kris’ head comes bobbing through the heart of the transom. One soft click and pull of a door later, she’s sat on their bed. How many more beds can she get into that aren’t hers?

With her only confidant beside her she figured there would be no better time to get answers to pressing questions that have been invading her mind all morning.

“Kris… We’re best friends, right?” She begins warily. They nod in response.

“So then, best friends are different from regular, good friends? Even someone you’d consider a close friend is different from a best friend?”

“Uh, yeah.” Unsure of what she was getting at, all they could do is carefully follow her vague train of thought.

“Oh. Well, now things make a lot more sense.”

Her problem was solved! Noelle wanted to be close to her because this is what close friends do, hence the name. The assurance was there, and yet there was still something missing. It was difficult for her to even get the words out and try to explain what her point was. What was she even trying to figure out? Noelle was her friend, and that was that.

She never had a friend like Noelle, or Kris, or Ralsei, for that matter. It was all new to her with little prior experience for her to look back on. What do friends do in movies? Susie wouldn’t know, since all she can usually pay attention to are the parts where someone is fighting, or exploding.

“What makes sense?” They peer into her eyes through their bangs. 

“You know, because we’re best friends, what we do is different from what you do with close friends. Like, best friends don’t cuddle, but it’s totally normal for close friends to do that. Or, thinking your close friends are like, pretty and shit. It’s different, right?”

Kris is motionless, as they always were. It all seems correct, until they tilt their head to one side with a smug look painted across their features.

“Who’s your close friend?” Their question presses into her like a hot iron; she wants to pull away, but they press on

“C’mon, it’s not like I just have one…” She tries to chuckle it away, but the pressure continues.

“No, you do have just one.” They copy her tone of voice with perfect accuracy, making their taunt all the more effective. “Who is it?”

“What’s it to you, dude? Angel, I just want to ask one question, and now you have a million.” Susie is exasperated and cornered by someone she could fling across town.

Kris leans into Susie while still holding her gaze. When did Kris become so intimidating? Why was she so scared to tell them? The four yellow walls come closer and closer to her, effectively making her feel trapped.

“You smell like peppermint.”

It blows her cover completely, not only evident by her mint aroma, but also in the way her eyes widen at their words. There was no poker face she could put on to try and even throw them off of her path. She’s defeated, and they’re still waiting for a reply. 

“You got me. Noelle is my close friend, and because we’re close friends, I squeezed her really hard last night and we fell asleep like that, then we woke up like that. I might’ve also picked her up and tried to tuck her in, but she told me to sleep next to her instead of the couch, which was how we got there. That’s normal friend stuff, though!”

“You slept next to Noelle last night? In her bed? And you squeezed her, really hard?”

“YES!” Susie’s outrage pours out of her as she balls up her fists. “Look, for the record, she asked me to do that.”

“And she asked you to sleep next to her?”

It all began feeling like some sort of attack on her, but with no weapons. Their accusatory tone was venomous enough to strike her down. Unpacking each and every one of her words, Susie’s brought back to the dim room, and Noelle’s doe eyes.

“Whatever. Close friends do that.” Looking away from Kris, she instead focuses on the heavyset computer across the room. She crosses her arms across her chest and rebuilds her defenses.

Susie hated that look that people would give her. It was the kind of look that says: “I know something you don’t.” Often sported by Berdly, then by Sans the night before, and now she can see it all over Kris’ face. Her anger rolls along the inside of her chest, like flames being stoked. She could only burn brighter and hotter the more she thought she gives it.

She kicks herself for bringing it up in the first place. She was confident that Noelle didn’t think about her nearly as much as she thinks about her. Susie couldn’t even understand where her upset really came from, or why she feels so strongly in regards to the topic.

“Does she… smell you a lot?” Kris fills the space before she does. It’s a curveball that works to pull her away from her thoughts for just a moment.

“Uh, smell me? Like, my hair or something?” 

They shake their head. It doesn’t lead the puzzled Susie any closer to what they were getting at.

“Last night, when she was close to you, she never sniffed you?”

Susie was lost. She was surely lost before, but now it was as if she were stranded in a corn field.

“I-I dunno. Her face was like, in my neck the whole time. Goddamn weirdo…” Her cheeks turn hot.

Again, with that look smeared across their face. Could she try to smother them again? Could she try to smother them again without stopping

“Deers have a good sense of smell. Animal stuff… for finding food and whatever.” Just like they were reading from a textbook. “Smell helps them pick their mates.”

Sometimes Kris was suave, most times Kris was weird, and other times it felt like they were flat-out creepy. There was never any balance since you never knew which Kris you would get. This feels even lower than their typical creepy behavior.

“When she was in your neck, was she, you know, breathing in?”

Susie begins to say ‘no’ until she cuts herself off. Noelle did end up in the same spot every time they were wrapped around one another; with her face buried into her neck. Who was to blame? She didn’t have any clue. 

A phantom feeling joins her on the bed; nudging her nose into her scales. A dim lightbulb starts to glow softly.

“I guess she did? She’d press her nose against me really hard, and breathe deep. She woke me up because it was like she was trying to dig into there.” She recalls it while staring at their blanket. “But, why the hell do you have to say that word?”

“What word? Mate?” Kris speaks calmly, meanwhile it forces a groan of disgust out of Susie. Amusement barely flickers within them at the sight of her becoming cramped. 

“I cannot believe that you are such a freak. Why do I even hang out with you?” She chokes out.

“You’re the weird one. ‘M just saying that when they like you, you smell extra good.”

Like?

What kind of like? Like what? Like Susie? Was it just a normal like, or was it an above average like? It was the kind of like that makes you smell good, sure, but what does that mean? Susie can’t catch any of her thoughts as they scurry about in a panic.

The pressure rises to the topmost part of her throat which works to constrict all of her muscles. In place of any words, she just laughs. Neither genuine, or pained, it sat in some sort of gray area that might reflect the way Kris laughs sometimes.

“Nah.”

Susie stands up and rolls her shoulders back to release a satisfying pop. Looking out of Kris’ window, she can see the sunlight splayed against the blades of grass. The grass follows whichever way the wind blows, making it look like they are leaning into one another. 

“Things don’t happen that way.” She twists back to face Kris, sporting a toothy grin. “I think you’re just a dumbass.”

“Susie, she-” 

“Nope. It’s nothing, really. I might’ve exaggerated some stuff, so don’t take it too seriously.”

Stiff as a board, Kris holds their hunched posture on the bed. Susie tries to find a semblance of fight within them, but they don’t bark back. It’s quiet, and a little awkward. The foundation for tension finds purchase between them; it feels ugly and wrong. The guilt crawls up Susie’s back in a way that feels like a million pins are poking into her. This wasn’t what she wanted.

She doesn’t want to shut them down, and yet it was easier than trying to continue this conversation. There was no reason for her to think too hard about Noelle and their night. Susie decides it was just a blip, and there wasn’t anything that would benefit her from feeding into it.

With nothing else left to say, Susie resorts to a failsafe she knows she can count on.

“Wanna go see Ralsei?”

Kris nods before pushing themselves off of the bed. Susie follows behind them the way she always did. She’s walked through this same hallway countless times at this point, but it had never felt so narrow.

How did she always do this to herself?

Once they’re outside, Kris guides them all throughout town by going up and down the streets to talk to everyone and look at everything. It was routine at this point, but nothing about it was traditional. 

Seeing Kris be social (albeit, in their odd, mannequin sort of way) lets her know they weren’t completely upset. At least they don’t have to walk in complete silence.

✶⋆.˚

In the days following her encounter, Susie can feel a shift within the atmosphere.

Days would go by without her finding Noelle anywhere in town. She knew that she had to be attending rehearsals, since Kris was still going. She walks around the town at sunset, checks the graveyard at dusk, and sits in front of the lake when night falls. 

Although she wasn’t always sure about things with Noelle before, she now finds herself stumped at their current predicament. It was Noelle who told her that they shouldn’t stop talking, and here they were, days without communication. 

Was there even any blame to shovel onto her? Susie knows she’s not faultless; it was a two-way street, after all. Still, was she supposed to go and knock on the door of the Holiday home and face Carol’s wrath? Noelle must be aware that she’d find her from just making a trip across town, which was probably why she was nowhere to be seen. You can’t chase someone who doesn’t want to see you.

Susie wraps her fingers around a small pebble she finds next to her. The grooves press into her skin with however much force she chooses to apply to it. The points of it are dull from being thrown around everywhere. She decides to support its journey by skipping it across the creek, watching as it skirts along the gentle waves before it disappears into the black water.

She leans over herself and places her chin in the space between her knees. The river stretches so far down, she can see the curve of the earth bend the water at the end of it. Or, at least what looked like the end. Susie sighs heavily in hopes that it alleviates some of the pressure in her chest.

Her beliefs changed with every new day, flip-flopping between believing that this is the way things should be, and then believing that she wouldn’t last another second without golden hair and antlers within her view. Her want covers her like a blanket and forces her under, filling her lungs with fig and peppermint.

The ache within her bones rings clear as a bell; it shakes her and molds her into something she had never been before. Susie has never experienced whatever it was she was feeling. She couldn’t even think of a name for it.

People had ignored and rejected her more times than she could count. They had dropped off from her life as if they were never there to begin with, leaving Susie with no closure and a list of questions she’d never be able to ask. It all became palpable with time, but this doesn’t feel like something that can just blow over.

Noelle accepted her, or at least performed like she did in Susie’s eyes. Allowing her to get that close only to push her away was what hurt her more than anything. 

It’s stupid. She thinks. This is all so stupid.

At least when everyone else shunned her away, they didn’t make her think that there was a chance that it’d be different. They never planted a seed of hope and weaved it in with care the way Noelle did. They didn’t curl up into her, and smell her, and provide warmth the way she did.

Susie protected herself better than anyone else ever did. She knew exactly what to look out for in people that just want to see you beaten down. In fact, she learned to do it back, and better. How could she let Noelle fool her?

It stings beneath the surface, diving even deeper into her being to cling onto her cells. 

Noelle didn’t want to see her; the message was sent loud and clear. Susie got it, and she wouldn’t have to be told again. 

She daftly believes that they could just coexist with no trouble, until the next day when Kris reminds her that they’d all be going to Greensville together for the show, which includes Noelle. She wants it to feel fine, like she could be stuffed in a car beside her with no problem. The tightness around her heart suggests otherwise.

By the time Friday rolls around it will have been five days since they’d last spoken. Five days of aimlessly wandering around the corners of Hometown. Her thoughts would fester constantly, serving her with new lows the more she imagines how unaffected Noelle is.

Why was she the only one hurting?

On the day, Pizzapants shows up at the Dreemurr household in black skinny jeans with eyeliner on his waterline. It was smudged to hell, almost making him look like he had the world's worst bags instead of looking like the member of an emo band. To Susie’s dismay, he had to show up to load his things into Toriel's van, which he would be piloting.

Susie had been waiting for Kris to finish getting ready, meaning she had to sit with him alone in the living room. She half-listens as he gushes about his “girlfriend” who was "definitely showing up tonight.” She hums at the right time to make it sound like she was listening. In reality, she was trying not to let her nerves get to her.

She can see Noelle. Susie could be in the same car as Noelle with absolutely no problem. As long as she acted like herself there would be no hiccups. With her newfound self-assurance, she was confident that this night would go smoothly.

Kris’ footsteps are hollow above her as they move to the stairs. When they come into view, Susie can’t notice anything different about them except a heather gray ‘Stormy Day Real Estate’ shirt. Their overall demeanor suited the band well enough anyways, so she can see how there was little need for them to change or dress up.

“One of Azzy’s old shirts, huh?” Pizzapants stands up as he speaks. “I can’t believe he left that one here…”

The trio head outside to the ruby minivan to begin their trek to Greensville. Susie and Kris sit in the backseat, with Susie behind Pizzapants and Kris in the middle. Their first stop will be at Berdly’s so that they could load his drumkit into the hatchback trunk, then to the Holiday home to pick up Noelle.

While Pizzapants and Berdly work to bring his things outside, the pair remain seated in the sweltering car. Susie’s left leg bounces up and down feverishly with her eyes locked on a tree outside. Kris turns to her and stares.

“What?” She looks back at them. They point at her leg to make their point.

“Nervous?” 

“Heh, why would I be nervous? I’m not the one performing. Are you nervous?” Susie feels their concern even from the brief comment. The last thing she wants is for them to be worried about her when there are more important things to handle first.

Kris shrugs with indifference. They look forward through the windshield that faces Berdly’s white garage door. 

“They won’t really care for me. It’s Noelle they'll all be watching.”

They hadn’t brought her up since Susie’s “moment.” It was an effort on both their parts, as Susie didn’t wish to discuss any further, and Kris didn’t want to upset her. They didn’t, but something dances on the tip of their tongue that almost beckons something out of them. Kris presses their lips into a thin line to suppress it, but coughs when the sentence tries to come out.

Susie pays it no mind, acting as if she didn’t make out some of the words that slipped out during their poor cover-up. She claps a hard hand against their back as a way to help them. They eventually become stable and end their fit, clearing their throat after shaking it off.

The trunk opens with a woosh accompanying it the more it rises into the air. Berdly and Pizzapants’ conversation doesn’t register to either of them over the sound of them stacking things atop one another. 

“You’re gonna do really good. I’m excited to see you on stage again.” Susie attempts to steer the conversation back to a comfortable spot.

“Thanks.” Kris murmurs.

The door to the backseat swings open to reveal Berdly in a red muscle tee with a faded black skull across his chest, and a navy bandana tied around his forehead. Susie thinks he looks more like a camp counselor than anything, and weirdly enough, it really suits him.

“Well, Hello Susan and Kris.” He greets them in his typical nasally fashion while he hoists himself into the seat next to Kris.

Now all properly squished into the backseat, with Berdly’s kit piled so high it was uncertain if Pizzapants could see out of his rearview mirror, they were ready to make their last pitstop. 

When Pizzapants pulls up to the gate, Noelle is already standing outside. Her light curls had been fully straightened out as her locks cascaded down her frame. She had abandoned her middle part for a hard side part adorned with black bobby pins pushing away her bangs in the shape of an ‘x.’ 

Her top of black and hot pink stripes cut off at her forearm, small black buttons stopped right at her sternum with a lacy black tanktop layered underneath. Her shorts were black, as were the shredded tights beneath them. Her converse were some of the highest Susie has ever seen, coming up just below her knobby knees.

What nearly breaks Susie was her makeup; dark, smudgy eyeshadow was pressed into her eyelids with a large wing of eyeliner sat atop it. Noelle's real lashes were hidden amongst the false ones she wore which causes them to nearly touch her browbone. She wore no blush, only a shadowy contour cut through her cheeks in a way that carves them out perfectly. Her dark gloss played with the light, bringing her entire look together.

She wants to say that she looks nice and leave it at that. She wants to shrug it off, and pretend like seeing her look like this didn’t affect her somehow, and for a reason she couldn’t place now. 

Susie could feel her heart rate take a dastardly increase the closer he drove to her. She was forgetting how to be nonchalant just from looking at her; would she even remember how to form a sentence once she got in the car?

There was no time to think, and even less time for her to make her escape. Noelle was already tugging on the car door to the front seat to let herself in.

They all greeted her in similar fashions, just using slightly different words. Susie tumbles through her sentence about as gracefully as one could in her state. She can see Kris peep at her through the corner of their eye.

“Hey guys,” She turns back in her seat to face the three in the back. Her eyes quickly gloss over Susie in acknowledgement before she turns her attention to the other two. “Are you ready?”

“Oh, Noelle, I was born ready. This is only the beginning of the rest of our lives as professional musicians.”

Oh, here we go. She regrets the whole thing already.

“Little Buddy, does your mom have some CDs? She doesn’t have an AUX or anything… We’ll need some bangers for this trip.” Pizzapants looks around the entertainment screen to find no plugins or bluetooth.

Kris points to the center console. He lifts it up to find an assortment of cds with the titles all neatly facing out. Pizzapants twists his face while looking at them, seemingly displeased with the options.

“Michael Booblé ‘Christmas,’ ‘Deltarune Worship,’ the rosary, like 4 Jania Twains, and Chakira ‘She Wolf.’” He reads them out while running his thumb over the spines. “What the hell kind of collection is this?”

“Does she have ‘The Woman in Me?’” Berdy jets forward to look over it causing him to nearly bump heads with Pizzapants. He pulls it out and hands it to the other, who hesitates in grabbing it from him.

“Seriously?” Susie's unamused, but not surprised at Berdly’s choice.

“With the sweet, sweet country voice of Jania, we will be entirely empowered and ready to slay the competition. You’re simply uncultured if you disagree.”

Ultimately, there is no arguing with him considering their options were so few. Pizzapants unhappily opens the case and pops in the CD.

Susie looks out onto the landscape of Hometown from her side of the car. The sun would begin to descend into the earth at any moment, obscuring the hues of the trees and grass while the bright star bathes them in warm lights. She can feel Kris’ thigh fixed against hers, still as they always were.

Pizzapants reverses away from the black gate to begin their drive to Greensville.

The golden trees and familiar buildings of Hometown come in and out of view from the window. They churn by, starting off slowly, but quickly pick up once they pass through the entrance. A green sign appears just less than a mile away, the same green as all other road signs. It reads ‘Leaving Hometown. Come back soon!’

Susie hadn’t left since she first arrived a few months ago. She can see the backside of the “welcome” sign glide by. She’s brought back to fall, when it was rusty leaves and auburn trees all across the state. She had passed that “welcome” sign with her mother while the sound of her loud engine accompanied them. She guesses they didn’t say more than a dozen words to each other during the course of that trip.

Back then, she believed that moving here would grant her the same experience she’d had everywhere else: she’d enter an environment where everyone already knew each other, where they’d give her no grace and cast her out the second they saw her. Her mom would be in and out until it was time to move again, and she’d continue living the unstable, lonely life she had come to know.

The golden trees start to turn green; the true sign that they were really leaving Hometown. The scenery changes completely once they make it onto a main road, driving alongside other cars and trucks as tall streetlamps loom over them, gearing to turn on in a half hour.

It all begins to look more like the places Susie had known before, which was funny to her considering the rest of the people in the car might think this was more strange to see.

Pizzapants provides a rundown of how the night will play out while he provides instructions on what to do and where they’ll bring things. Susie is roped into helping simply because she came, and it doesn’t totally surprise her that they put some of the heavy lifting onto her.

Noelle, Berdy, and Pizzapants converse amongst themselves about the bands they’re competing with. Susie notices the jewelry hanging off of Noelle’s ear that seemed to multiply overnight. Going from just one, to now having four attached to her lobe. It was all silver, long, and dangly, moving with every bump from the car.

Susie forces down a compliment, piling them atop the others she had wanted to express to Noelle. She can’t ignore how easily Noelle had skipped right over her when talking to the other two. She handled it seamlessly, as if Susie wasn’t sitting there at all. Her insides keel over and tie themselves all together in a way that makes her sick.

She continues to watch the traffic around them to try and distract herself, counting all the red cars she sees around them.

Jania’s somber melody works into Susie’s wounds more and more. Noelle’s perfume was different now, instead of smelling like winter, it’s a fruitier and darker smell. It feels like proof to her that Noelle had changed during their week of not talking. She evolved away from Susie, and that was just how things are meant to be.

You’re here to support all of them. She reminds herself. There’s no point in being sad when she isn’t.

Susie wills away the cloud over her head once she decides that she could ponder on the moment later tonight when it was just her and her thoughts. For now, she has to be their biggest fan.

She feels a light poke press through her jeans, pulling her eyes away from the road and to Kris. They only emote a single nod, but she knows what they’re trying to say. She nods back and lifts her lips up to give them a small smile. They lift one corner back.

✶⋆.˚

After going through various tunnels and interstates, they landed in Greensville when the sun was nothing more than a crescent on the horizon. Pizzapants nervously navigates them through the narrow roads of the downtown area where the bar is; he curses several people who drive too close to him, as well as a curb he says “came out of nowhere.”

By some form of divine intervention he parks in the dark alleyway between the bar and a restaurant. Dumpsters were scattered across the wall with all kinds of graffiti behind them, some even being on the metal itself.

Susie stretches once she’s out of the confines of the car to alleviate some of the ache in her legs. Pizzapants goes to talk to a bunny with a clipboard, leaving the teenagers to stand by the trunk of the car.

“Greensville didn’t look like this in the pictures…” Berdly looks around warily with his hands crossed against his chest. “And it didn’t say anything about this smell either.”

“Welcome to the city.” Susie claps a hard palm against his back, feeling his tense muscles tighten even more under her touch.

“If this is the price one has to pay for stardom, I suppose I shall see this as a down payment.”

Susie chuckles at the way his sheltered life bleeds through his words. He was born into a silver nest, after all.

Pizzapants rushes back towards them as if a fire had been lit under his ass. He pushes through the group to unlock the trunk.

“Hell’s your problem?” Susie grumbles after he had elbowed her side.

“We gotta load in quickly, Pizzarina’s waiting for me a few blocks over.” He lifts the bass drum over his head and nearly runs into the bar, leaving the rest of them reeling.

Susie shakes her head before she grabs a tom and a snare. She follows after him.

When she enters the building, it’s dim and quiet with only a few others there. On either side of the large room were two separate bars that stretched across the space. Behind them were tall walls of liquor, along with fridges and other drink-related items neatly left on the counter. 

Between the two bars was the soundbooth. It was sectioned off by short walls that only came up to Susie’s hip, painted a deep shade of black. Behind the wall was a shaggy dog dressed in all black, his face lit up by the screen of his tablet. In front of the booth was the judges table, with three sheets and three seats along it.

The stage wasn’t big by any means, but it was sizable enough for a group like them to fit- you’d just better hope they wouldn’t be doing a ton of moving around. Large monitors hung from the ceiling next to colorful showlights that weren’t on. There was a ramp leading from the backdoor to the stage, which Susie took to drop off the drum parts.

The cool air rushes by her as Pizzapants jogs outside. They continue their routine until everything is emptied out from the car. The four teens set up while Pizzapants parks the car.

Noelle and Kris work to set up the guitars and pedal boards, while Susie volunteers to help Berdly (Not to avoid Noelle. She assures her mind).

Berdly walks her through putting together the drum kit in an agonizing way by explaining what every part does, and why he sets it up the way he does. No matter how many times she nodded or said “damn, that’s crazy,” he would never get the hint that she was drowning him out.

From the front of the stage she could hear quiet chatter from the other pair, sometimes followed by a laugh from Noelle. All she could find herself paying attention to was their conversation and the fact that she was enjoying herself, something she didn’t seem to do during the car ride or even in the few minutes they were standing outside.

She feels a thin arrow pierce through her heart. If she bleeds out now, would Noelle even spare her a glance?

Within minutes of working, the four of them are able to set up the stage to their liking. Susie looks to the fully assembled drum kit with her hands on her hips, trying to ignore Berdly’s babbling while she admires her work.

She walks up to Kris who was tuning their guitar.

“Um… Where should I sit?”

“Just over there.” They talk through the guitar pick between their teeth before they flick their head forwards to the tables in front of them, their fingers toying with the strings and knobs. 

Susie jumps off of the stage to go to the high table. She parks herself onto a seat and looks around the room.

The walls were lined with posters of all kinds of sizes, showcasing different events and artists that had played at the venue. She can now hear the chatter of the people on the floor although she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“You guys are, ‘Another Medium?’” A voice addresses them through the speakers that causes them to all look up to the shaggy sound guy. 

“Yup.” Noelle talks into the mic in front of her, which was not on. Still, her nod gets the point across.

“Don’t you guys have someone else? I can’t start without everyone here.”

Right on cue, Pizzapants throws the front door open to the bar. His chest heaves up and down while sweat dribbles down his face, some even caught onto his eyeliner, making it look like he was sweating tar.

“I’m here! J-just, one second, sorry!” His feet move fast towards Susie. He’s digging in his pockets with crazy eyes.

“Susie, I need you to go somewhere and get me some flowers.” He grabs Susie’s wrist to drop his sopping dollar bills into her clutches.

“What? Where am I even supposed to go?” She’s not even able to finish her sentence before he hops back onto the stage where he lifts his bass over his head.

“Anywhere!” He almost shouts while turning everything on. “We’re ready!”

Before she’s even able to ask anymore questions, the sound guy talks to them and works with them.

She knows she could take his amp and throw it to the ground, smashing the thousand dollar equipment into a million, pathetic pieces effectively ruining their chances at competing. Instead, Susie decides that this will be her one good deed of the night.

She walks to the door and pushes it open, revealing a dusky atmosphere veiled over Greensville. The door shuts behind her, and her mission begins.

The nightlife was starting to pick up around her, with more bodies walking by her than she had seen from being in the alleyway. She looks to her left, then her right, trying to decide on which direction to go in.

A gut feeling pushes her to go right, so she listens.

The sound of her feet hitting the concrete is lost amongst the sounds of the city. Susie shoves the notes into her pocket, where she chooses to keep her hands while on her journey. The urban city was a far cry from the hushed life of Hometown. Every building was either connected or a few feet away from one another, forcing everyone to be as close as possible.

Even just walking on the sidewalk, Susie can feel how cramped the city must be. Bodies brush past her constantly as she tries to find some place that’ll sell her a damn bouquet. She continues down the same block as the bar so that she won’t be too lost coming back, or this is at least what she hopes for.

Looking around at all the shops near her, she’s able to spot some kind of corner store ahead. When Susie makes it to the window, she peaks in to find milk, sodas, snacks, and a small flower collection. She doesn’t think twice before going in.

The air smelled stale, as if the place had been cycling through the same air for years. Some overhead lights worked just fine while some in other parts of the store were either blinking, or completely out.

The flowers were arranged randomly within the barrel, some new and some wilted. Susie scans them all with a careful eye in an attempt to find the best looking ones.

From across the store, she can hear someone humming as their shuffling footsteps approach her. In front of her appears an elderly turtle clad in a green and black flannel, and long khakis. Susie straightens up at the sight of the familiar face.

“Are you lookin’ for somethin’ specific?” His voice is higher than she remembers it, but still laced with that same deep, southern drawl.

“I, uh, I’m just looking for some flowers.” She motions towards the barrel between them. The shopkeeper nods while he hobbles over to the assortment of flowers.

Susie studies his face in her stupor to see if it really was him. She notices the lack of eyepatch across his face, as well as seeing that all of his teeth were in place with not one missing. No, it wasn’t him, but they were similar enough to make her second-guess.

“Well, if you’re lookin’ for somethin’ pretty, I’d take these tulips.” He lifts up an assortment of white bulbs. He shakes off the water from the stems. “Like ‘em?”

“Yeah, that’ll work.”

“White tulips are usually for apologizin’, I’ve had to gift my old lady some of these over the years.” He chuckles as he guides them to the register. “Are you fixin’ to say sorry?”

The situation with Pizzapants feels all too convoluted to explain to the old man, especially when she knows she’s strapped for time. Susie can see Pizzapants anxiously awaiting her, silently raging under his breath while he waits outside the brick building.

She sees Noelle standing next to him in her mind. There was nothing she could say now to fix things, and she’s certain that flowers wouldn’t change her mind any. There’s still a bit of relatability to his words which she can hang onto. 

“I guess it’s something like that.” Susie shrugs after giving another short response. Her eyes become trained on the candy bars in front of her.

“Well, there’s nothin’ that can’t be fixed with some flowers and talkin’.” His accent clings onto every word; if he spoke too fast, Susie might not be able to understand him.

“Whatever it is you gotta do, these should help you just fine.” His shaky fingers tap through the screen to ring her in. “$3.50.”

Susie pulls the crumpled bills out of her pocket, she smooths them out against the counter, then hands it to him. The register pops out with a ding as he starts to gather her change.

The old man pulls out a brown piece of paper from below the counter, he wraps up the green stems in the paper with a gentle hand. Even if the flowers were for Noelle, what would she say? What kind of face would she make? Susie’s assumption is that she’d take them, graceful as she always was, only to discard them later; taking them to make Susie feel better.

“What if she doesn’t like the flowers?” The words roll off her tongue without her being able to screen them first. It was the first time she would vocalize her concern, although it wasn’t entirely truthful to her situation, it was close enough.

The old man holds out his closed fist towards her. Susie opens up her hand where two quarters are dropped into her palm.

“The flowers only do so much. She might not like ‘em, but you can change ‘er mind by bein’ real honest with her. That’s all they need sometimes.”

Susie wraps her fingers around the paper-covered stems. The unease within her stomach turns tides of bile every which way. Where does she even start with being honest? Where does she even start?

“Have a nice night, ma’am.” 

“You too.”

Susie exits the shop with a feeling of dread settling within her. Her mind was racing, and yet there was no time to pay attention to it.

Under the dark sky, she moves quickly through the ocean of bodies that parade around Greensville. She holds the flowers close to her chest to keep them from getting smushed. Walking down the same block she came from Susie can make out familiar landmarks.

The light blue neon sign of the bar outlines a picture of a beer mug overflowing with liquid. She can see Pizzapants’ short ears just a little ways ahead of her.

She walks up to the group, huddled around the entrance to the bar. In a matter of 20 minutes, a line formed outside of the building, a rope containing everyone within a controlled spot. Her group of people were standing to the other side of the large bouncer. Pizzapants’ wimpy frame seems desperate while he talks to the guy.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Susie comes up behind Kris and joins the circle. They look at her with a mildly exasperated stare.

“They won’t let us in… No IDs.” Kris’ monotonous voice explains the situation.

Susie looks over the group's faces, all doused in concern while he tries to convince them to let them in. Noelle’s eyebrows were knit so tightly, she was creating a unibrow for herself.

“Was this his plan? Just to beg?” Susie waves the flowers around towards the groveling cat.

“Yeah…” Noelle exhales in response. It’s the first time she’s addressed Susie in days.

“Shit dude.” She can’t think of anything else to say that might comfort them or fix the situation. If the bouncer wouldn’t let them in, there was no way that they’d be able to compete. It would make all of their practice, and this trip, a complete waste.

A pair of white, fluffy hands land on Kris’ shoulder, causing them to jump from the surprise. Susie turns around sharply as her defenses kick in, however they crumble away when she sees who it is. When Kris swivels around with her, their eyebrows shoot up.

“Kris!” Asriel excitedly pulls them into a bear hug, leaning down to match their height. Kris returns the motion before they say something everyone else can’t hear.

“Of course I was gonna come, you dork.” He stands back up, towering over the group. He looks over everyone, and does a double take when he sees Noelle.

“Holy shit, Noelle. I didn’t even recognize you!” He examines her face and all the changes the makeup did to her features. He ropes her into a hug next, which she accepts with a laugh.

“Yeah, Catti did my makeup, fahaha.”

Catti???????????

A surge of jealousy courses through her veins, making Suse’s blood boil. It was the same kind of makeup she had seen on the CD underneath Noelle’s bed; although it all makes sense, she can’t make sense of why it felt like another deep cut had opened up inside her.

“Berdly, and… Susie, right?” Asriel points to the other two while guessing their names.

“Hey.” Susie keeps her greeting short as she fights back the bile that threatened to come up.

They had met at the festival, but that was about all she'd seen of Asriel. That, and the fact that his face was on the Dreemurr fridge.

“Why are you guys standing out here?” He asks.

“Won’t let us in.” Kris looks to Pizzapants, who was still pleading to the bouncers back.

“Oh. That’s a problem, isn’t it?”

Asriel approaches Pizzapants coolly. After he’s pulled into another hug, Asriel starts talking to the bouncer, who recognizes him with a grin.

Their conversation is lost amongst the sounds of chatter and cars driving by. Whatever he was saying, he had gotten the attention of the bouncer and fixed his expression from a stern one, to a softer one. The bouncer looks over Asriels’ shoulder as he glances over the group of teens with a squint.

The bouncer's shoulders collapse in defeat. Whatever Asriel had told him, it worked.

He steps to the side and unhooks the rope, grabbing a large black marker in the process.

“If you get me in trouble, it’s your head I’m putting over my fireplace.” His booming voice comes into earshot while Susie walks closer to them. Asriel gets close to his ear to make a comment that makes him chortle.

The bouncer holds his hands out to Kris who places their wrist in his grasp. The bouncer draws a large ‘x’ on the back of both of their hands, going down the line of people and doing the same to the rest.

Susie forcefully pushes the tulips into Pizzapant's chest before she goes through the door.

“Oh, Susie, thank you. You really saved my bacon, pal.” His shoulders fall down in relief.

“Don’t mention it.” 

Kris leads them inside with Berdly behind Susie, then Noelle behind him. Nothing was different about it except the amount of bodies within the bar, as well as the addition of bartenders and a crew to help the bands.

Punk music blares through the speakers, making it difficult to even hear your own thoughts. Kris navigates through the tight space, pushing past others to bring them to a worn-out booth. Kris and Susie take one side, while Noelle and Berdly respectively do the same.

“Wow, a lot of people are gonna be here.” Susie speaks loudly so that she could be heard by the others.

“Crowd reception is part of the rubric, so we really have to work them and make them happy.” Berdly shouts back, receiving nods from the three. 

“Kris, we should locate the stage manager to get our drink vouchers.” Berdly lurches forward towards them to directly address them.

“I can just go with you!” She offers, but he shakes his head.

“No, no, we should all stay within pairs. If we move with our whole group, we might get lost!” He regurgitates some information he received from an elementary school course on how not to get kidnapped. Berdly pays no attention to Noelle’s alarmed expression as he scooches out of the booth.

Susie looks to Kris for help, but they only provide a defeated shrug. Knowing that there was no fight to put up, Susie lets them out of the booth. They walk away into the crowd, leaving Susie and Noelle alone.

The two look at anything else but each other. Susie picks at the exposed foam and torn faux leather of her seat, only making the gap wider. She can’t think of anything to say to break through the awkwardness.

Susie can only imagine how much Noelle must hate being alone with her now. She sees the reindeer shift in her seat through her peripheral. Uncomfortable was a severe understatement - it was pure agony. She was bubbling under the surface, teeming with words left unsaid.

Susie had replayed their night over and over in her head. She analyzed every detail in a thorough and painstaking manner that she had never adopted before. She constantly tries to figure out what she did wrong, until she thinks that maybe she did everything wrong. The remorse that came with knowing that she made Noelle feel uncomfortable strains her.

“I-I’m glad you came.” In a surprising turn of events, the reindeer cuts through the silence. She doesn’t even look at Susie while she speaks, but it’s something she can work with.

“Um, yeah. Why wouldn’t I come support you guys?” Susie copies Noelle by not facing her. She picks at the foam even harder.

“I don’t- I don’t know… I just…” Her words drop off, leaving them in that agonizing silence once again.

You just what? Hate my guts and can’t stand sitting with me?

It almost feels like she’s speaking to her out of pity, and Susie can’t stand it.

A figure slithers their way into the booth to sit next to Noelle. For a brief moment, Susie thinks that Kris and Berdly had come back, therefore saving them from the tense situation they were in. Instead, she sees a scrawny, yellow lizard in front of her.

The lizard’s hair was dark and messy, sprawled all over his head in an unkempt way. He’s wearing an evergreen ‘Greensville University’ shirt with short enough sleeves that she could see his thin arms. He has a face only a mother could love.

Susie’s intuition kicks in, tugging at her insides with a sinister feeling.

“You’re in my calc class, aren’t you?” He addresses Noelle only, ignoring Susie with a creepy look on his face.

“Um, no, I don’t think so.” Noelle’s taken aback by the sudden interaction.

“I swear I’ve seen you on campus! You go to G.V., right?” He continues on to try and get Noelle to agree.

“I go to, uh, Northwestern.” She lies through her teeth effortlessly. The lizard clicks his tongue and sighs.

“That’s crazy, because I know I’ve seen you somewhere before. Maybe… in my dreams?”

Susie doesn’t hide her emotions at all, twisting her face in disgust as her body cringes at the stupid pick-up line.

Noelle tries to stutter something out to no avail. Susie wishes she could barf all over the table to get him to go away.

“I’m Sam, what’s your name?” He moves closer, which causes Noelle to move back.

“N-Noelle…” She says it as if she’s uncertain of her own name.

“So, you’re a reindeer, and your name is Noelle. How cute is that…” He places his elbow onto the table and fits his almost nonexistent chin into the palm of his hand. “Are you performing tonight?”

“Yeah. With my band.” 

Noelle’s eyes meet Susie’s with panic. She can’t even focus on the fact that it was the first time in days just from how nervous she looks. Susie looks around the space and pretends to spot someone.

“Our friend is trying to find us, we gotta go, now.” Susie interrupts the conversation obnoxiously, making herself louder so that the creep couldn’t ignore her.

“Y-yeah, we should go find them.” Noelle tries to force her most polite smile, but it just looks painful. Sam doesn’t move out of the booth, or change his position at all. He continues to stare at Noelle.

Susie’s first thought is to grab him by his messy hair and slam his face into the table. However, knowing that they were in a bar, she’d be kicked out immediately. In place of the violent action, she slaps a hard hand down on the table in front of his arm. Her nerves scatter throughout her limb, but she doesn’t pay it mind. He looks up at her, taken aback by the action.

“I said, we have to go.” She forces herself into their conversation as his final warning.

“Damn, calm down. I’m just talking to her.” He throws his hands up as if he were innocent, but Susie doesn’t change her expression. He quickly slides out and stands in front of them.

“I’ll find you after your set, okay?” He attempts to wink, but it just looks like he barely shut his eyes. He scurries off into the sea of people with Susie keeping a close eye on him.

“Goddamn freak…” Susie grumbles.

Susie looks over to Noelle who is still wide-eyed and somewhat panicked. 

“Like hell he’s gonna find you after.” Susie scoffs while Noelle laughs nervously.

“Thank you for… that.” Noelle breaks their eye contact and stares into her lap instead.

“Yeah. It’s no problem.”

Susie itched for more, she wants more from Noelle, to rectify whatever this was between them and fix it all now. This won’t happen though, and she knows it. 

Before they can slip back into the silence, Asriel walks over to them with a dark drink in his hand.

“Hey, we’re all sitting at a table in front of the stage.” He aims a thumb towards the center of the room. The girls stand up and follow him. Susie walks behind Noelle, looking out for the yellow lizard.

Susie sees Berdly and Kris, but no Pizzapants.

“Where’s Pizza?” Susie picks the stool next to Kris.

“He’s finding his girlfriend. He’ll be here before they go on.” Asriel replies.

Once they sit down with everyone else, the announcer gets onto the stage to begin the competition.

Susie doesn’t pay attention to anything she’s saying over the microphone; all she can think about was how slimy the creep made her feel. She can’t even imagine how it made Noelle feel. For one night, she has to disregard everything that’s happened over the week to keep her away from him, even if she hates her even more because of it.

The first band is all male, and Susie forgets their name as soon as they introduce themselves. Their two songs fly by, and before she knows it, the second band is loading up their gear onto the stage.

“They were good.” Noelle offers up the compliment as she reapplies her lip gloss. Susie has to fight every fiber of her being to not stare.

“They’d be better if their drummer didn’t rush.” Berdly’s condescending tone doesn’t piss off Susie, which shocks her.

The second band performs something harder than the first, with the vocalist screeching into the mic in a way that sounds like it hurts. Susie can’t even make out what they’re saying throughout their songs.

With another one done, they load off and the third band comes in.

“After their first song, we’re going backstage.” Kris leans in to inform Susie of the plan. They pull away, but Susie grabs onto their forearm to bring them back.

“Don’t let Noelle out of your sight, okay?” Kris moves their irises to the side as if they were asking “why?” Susie exhales and shakes her head. “I’ll tell you later.”

The third band begins, an all girl trio that Susie enjoys. Their music sounds similar to the punk that was playing earlier. They’re the first band to get people to jump and dance around.

In the middle of their first song, Pizzapants joins them on a stool at the table alone with a miserable look on his face.

Asriel leans in and whispers something to him, but the other just moves his hand side to side in disregard. Susie can guess what happened.

Once it’s done, the four get up from their stools. Asriel and Susie smile at them with thumbs up.

“Go kick some ass, Dreemurr.” Susie pats Kris’ back, and they nod.

“Don’t fuck it up!” Asriel yells to them with his thumbs up. 

They disappear into a room, completely removing them from their view. The two sit at the table and listen to the band play their last song. It was loud and brash, all the while still fun. The applause after their second song is deafening; Susie prays that they receive the same praise.

The girls bring their things off the stage while the others come on.

“You know what’s funny?” Asriel speaks to Susie while watching Kris fiddle with their instrument. “I didn’t know Kris played guitar.” 

Susie analyzes them with him. They meet their eyes and stick their tongue out briefly before going back to what they were doing.

“Must be something they picked up recently.”

Susie thinks back to their rehearsals in Berdly’s garage and all the times she was facing the wall. Although she could’ve gone back to rehearsals (when Noelle initially offered), the anticipation of seeing them after all this time soars through her. Now, Noelle couldn’t ask her to turn around.

The reindeer stands in the middle in front of a microphone, with Kris to her right and Pizzapants to her left, just as they had been before. Berdly sits behind them, concealed by the navy blue drum kit. Seeing them on a platform, with the stagelights brightening up their faces makes it feel so much more real than it did before.

“Let’s go stand up there. Maybe we’ll get everyone else to join.” Asriel rises from his spot to make his way to the center of the room, Susie walks beside him.

They stand in front of Noelle, who was scanning the room. The people around them all talked as if a new band hadn’t come on stage.

All of the other groups that came up introduced themselves before they began, but Noelle doesn’t say anything into the microphone, instead turning her head to face Berdly.

He twists the wooden stick along his fingers as he begins the song by beating against the bass drum with his foot. He continues on, getting louder and louder until the people in the crowd stop talking, demanding their attention. There’s a beat of silence before Kris and Pizzapants join in with fervor and they kick off the song.

Although it was the same song Susie had heard two weeks ago, there was nothing about their playing that was even slightly reminiscent of the band they were before. They played like a unit, a living thing that they breathed life into.

Noelle presses her lips into the microphone as she sings, every word coming out of her mouth is crystal clear, never missing a single syllable. She holds onto the microphone while she moves her legs in time with the beat.

The notes escaped her with ease, combined with the confidence she gives off, it was like watching someone who had been doing this all their life. The players on either side of her were no different. It was another, completely different Noelle from the one she knew.

When she whispers the lyrics of the prechorus, Susie feels her scales flare up with goosebumps. Pizzapants sings underneath her, never pulling focus away, but working as an add-on that blends perfectly with her voice.

Noelle removes the microphone from the stand to make herself mobile, moving across the stage to the left where she looks at Pizzapants while she starts the chorus.

Asriel bumps into Susie with his hip as a way to get her to start dancing. Although she feels awkward, it’s all for a good cause.

The two stupidly hop around in front of the stage to the song alongside the few people who bobbed their heads next to them. The more she realises Asriel doesn’t care, she decides not to either, giving her the ability to enjoy the performance in full.

Everything Noelle does is flawless; from the fluidity of her movements, to the way she delivers the lyrics, she does it without looking clumsy or amateurish. Everything she does works in her favor, since it was bringing more people up to the front. A crowd forms around them, with more people trickling in as the song presses on.

During the second chorus, Noelle walks up to the edge of the stage and looks over the crowd, interacting with them through pointing her finger. It was an easy move that effectively drew them in more. 

The lights above her head shone an array of colors, from pink, to blue, to green, to orange, basking the whole band in colorful lights. It frames Noelle's face in new ways Susie had never seen before; her chest tightens. Susie couldn’t even focus on the bodies that push into her, Noelle keeps her in a trance.

She sings the first part of the bridge in a near bow, having Noelle angled forwards towards the people watching her. She continues on, jumping around the stage while maintaining breath control. The buildup to the last chorus is monumental, obvious from the way the floor was shaking under Susie’s feet.

For just a moment, she looks at Kris, who was looking back at her. She doesn’t know what to do except throw up two thumbs with an eager expression.

Noelle delivers the final notes, belting it out as easily as she had sung everything else. She ends the song with moving ‘ooos’ before they all finish, everyone ending at the exact same time.

Susie feels her ears flood with noise, hooting and clapping vibrating through her body. Noelle smiles and sucks in her bottom lip, fanning her long lashes over her sculptured cheekbones.

Asriel gets Susie’s attention again with a hip bump, his eyes as wide as saucers. He mouths “what the fuck?” with a wide smile that reaches his ears. He was overjoyed, as was she.

Berdly comes in again with a groovy drum line, repeating it once more before Noelle starts talking into the microphone.

“Back here on drums, I have Berdly.” She steps aside to present him, sticking out a hand in his direction. The audience reacts, then Pizzapants joins in on the funk.

“On bass, I have Pizza.” His eyeliner was smudged, and he looked rough, and still he put on a face that tells you otherwise.

Kris is last to start playing during the introduction, strumming an easy chord with their pick.

“On guitar, I have Kris.” She gestures to him the same way she did for the other two.

“And we’re- Oh. I guess I have to introduce myself, don’t I?” Susie isn’t able to tell if it was a genuine slip-up, or a planned bit from the way her charm bled through.

“I’m Noelle.” She places her hand on her chest. “And we’re ‘Another Medium.’”

The short introduction song ends smoothly, but it’s quickly drowned out by the noise from the crowd. Susie thinks that they’re pulling in the same numbers as the last band just from the amount of bodies that gathered around her.

Kris begins the next song with a gentler timbre compared to the last one. Noelle bobs her head along to the rhythm, bringing them to a more melancholic altitude. 

Noelle presents the melody with a certain delicacy, like she was trying to place a lilypad on water without making ripples. Her sound is lush and full with her vowels somewhat squared.

She makes her way to the center of the stage again, placing her microphone in the clip. The colored lights bloom across the stage with a purple hue that might almost wash them out if it were a click darker. Despite that, Noelle’s expressions still came through.

Susie feels herself go through the motions with her as she reaches new hills and valleys with her tone. Still as haunting as the first time she heard it, it rattles her spirit.

She’s more stationary now, only moving her head back and forth with both of her hands around the mic. The whites of her eyes peek through the dark makeup, her gaze fixed on a spot in the back of the room. 

Their conversation from days ago places itself at the forefront of her mind. Everything about Hometown, about her life; she was splitting herself open in front of everyone, her heart on full display. 

Their dynamics shift from the second chorus into the next verse. Noelle directs them through it all, the players follow her volume with finesse. The ebbs and flows of her singing never feel out of place or wrong.

When she reaches the quietest part of the song, repeating the same lyrics over and over, she turns her head towards Kris. They utilize another brief pause, their entrance dictated by a shake of their head.

The climax of the song is where they reach their peak volume, a wall of sound hits the audience while Noelle wails. She takes the microphone back and moves upstage, hiding her face with a shadow. All you can make out is her figure swaying along.

The intensity of it doesn’t change when they get to the last chorus. Pizza’s bass shakes her ribcage with every strum, while Berdly’s drumming shakes her skull, like being on a rollercoaster. It’s a feeling she could get used to.

The reindeer moves back to the stand for the final part, holding onto it with her free hand. She comes back into the light for the final note, ghastly and soft. Noelle pulls the microphone away and allows her arm to go limp, hanging at her side for a brief moment.

Applause erupts from the audience, tied with whooping and more yelling. The purple lights turn back into their bright variant, now making all of the band members visible.

Asriel screams loudly into her ear, probably bursting an eardrum in the process. It doesn’t bother her as she looks at the faces of the people in front of her, glowing with gratitude.

“Thank you!” Noelle shouts into the mic as the others start to move around her. The four of them break down as quickly as they can.

“You should go get Noelle some water.” Asriel suggests while he pokes his ear. She’s hesitant to walk away in fear that she might get bothered again.

“Just make sure she doesn’t talk to any yellow lizards.” Susie warns him.

“Yeah.” Asriel pats her on the shoulder and moves to the stage to talk to Kris. Susie looks back at Noelle one more time before she goes to the bar.

She shuffles quickly, pushing through people for what feels like the millionth time today. She nears the brown counters and plants her feet at a free spot, placing her elbows on the wood. She looks over the faces of the people on either side of her, trying to spot him. She twists back towards the stage to see Noelle talking to a girl from another band.

“What can I get you?” A flamboyant voice pulls her focus back to her task. She faces the well-built horse wearing a black shirt with the sleeves cut off.

“Can I just have a water?”

The bartender moves towards the other side of the bar when he’s beckoned over by someone else. Susie stares him down as he laughs with a patron. He sets down the cup he grabbed for her water, and opens another bottle of beer instead. He abandons her cup for the register, where he begins to close out a tab.

Susie taps her foot impatiently. Though he couldn’t see it, she feels some justice from doing it. She burns holes into the back of his head as a way to try and tell him that she wanted her water. He blissfully ignores her lasers as he turns around to give the guest their check.

He talks to them for a few seconds more, irritating Susie beyond all measure. With the time he was wasting she chooses to look back again, trying to locate Noelle’s blonde head. She looks over once, then twice, then thrice before she can confirm that she’s not visible. 

Her stomach turns over inside of her in a fit of anxiety. She whips her head back towards the bartender to find him just a few steps away. He tries to place the cup on the counter, but Susie snatches it from him before he can even try.

“Thanks.” She speaks quickly before turning on her heels and beelining for the stage. When she scans it, she can only see Pizzapants putting his pedal board into its case while the next band occupies the majority of the space.

“Where’s Noelle?” She rushes up to him.

“Wow. Not even a “good job, Pizza” or “it’s impressive how you held yourself tog-”

“Yeah, yeah, you did good. Do you know where she went?” Susie cuts him off to which he makes a sour face.

“She went over there with Berdly.” He points at the group huddled near the exit door; she can only recognize Berdly within the circle as he stands next to his drum kit. Susie places the cup of water on the stage, foregoing it once she realizes she doesn’t see Kris either.

“Berdly, Noelle,” Her voice is teetering on frantic, but she doesn’t know why. Susie refuses to believe this sinking feeling could hold any sort of weight. “Do you know where she went?”

“Yes, Susan. Well, no, kind of. I saw her leave from that door with a yellow lizard-”

Susie switches her direction, losing sight of Berdly and locking eyes with a glowing red exit sign before her heel turn is complete.

Her heart strikes against her chest in uneven rhythms, as if someone crawled inside with a mallet but not their score. 

Pushing in the silver bar with so much force she could probably rip it off, she feels no resistance against her hands. The bolts of the door groan as she faces another brick building. Her feet find themselves on the concrete. The door shuts, eliminating the noise from inside entirely.

They had been in this same alleyway just hours before. To one side was the sidewalk, and the other brought you deeper within the brick towers. She gives it little thought as she marches through the darkness, surrounded by garbage and uncouth scents.

Walking towards the back of the bar, Susie picks up on the sound of someone's voice. A voice she recognizes as the lizard. She peers into the narrow alleyway, seeing bright yellow scales in front of blonde hair. Bingo.

The conversation is meaningless, equating to a lower tier version of small talk while Noelle tries to remain warm and cordial. Worst of all, he’s got her cornered, and there was no feasible way for her to escape without him maybe trying to stop her. That thought alone causes more adrenaline to pump through her, fueling her like a drug.

“You really wailed on it in there. It’s nearly impossible to sing like Gailey Williams, but you did it. Do you think you guys will win?”

“I’m not sure. ‘Fourth Strike’ also did really well…”

“But their lead vocalist doesn’t sound like you.”

Susie picks up her foot and places it down gently, sneaking towards the pair while she watches them.

As Susie takes one step closer, the lizard guy does the same, getting closer to Noelle. Her heartrate takes another increase as she starts to smell his shitty cologne, all artificial manliness and a hint of sweat.

Finally, as she enters their bubble, Noelle can now see her. The lizard guy is trying to back her into a corner, and she’s only trying to be nice. Her eyes dart to look over his shoulder, where she finally sees Susie veiled by darkness. Her eyebrows shoot up in shock as her mouth opens to try to speak. Susie places a finger over her lips so as to tell Noelle to stay quiet.

“I mean… I have a car, and- and my own room in my dorm. We could go and watch a mov-”

Susie reaches out and wraps her fingers around his shirt, her grip becoming deadly as she applies a force she didn’t even know she had in her.

She violently jerks him back, the rubber of his shoes scraping against the concrete with a harrowing squeak. She brings the man next to her and lifts him up, his toes floating just a few inches above the ground, dangling high.

“What the hell!” The surprise is evident in his voice, tearing a hole in the space between them and the walls as it bounces from one area to another.

Noelle’s dark eyes shoot between the two of them, her own hand held up to her mouth from the shock. Her figure trembles meekly as it unfolds in front of her.

“Is this fun for you?” Susie questions him while looking through eyes curtained by her shaggy bangs.

“Chill out dude! Holy shit, we’re just talking!” His voice peaks when it hits the top of his range. The lizard begins to move around, trying to free himself from Susie’s grip.

Susie raises him higher, bringing him above her head.

The dimmed lights connected to the century old bricks don’t reach their corner, only the entrance of it has that orangish hue bouncing off of the ground. Their figures were lost in the blanket of darkness, you’d only be able to somewhat make them out if they began moving.

“Really? Again with the “just talking” bullshit.” Susie elongates her vowels, jerking him around with every vibrantly pronounced word. 

“I’ll tell you this: you should thank Noelle. Say “thank you, Noelle.” Go on.” She brings him forward to face her, still held tall within her clutches. He attempts to grab onto her wrist to dig his blunt nails into her scales, but all she feels is a dull poke.

Susie feels her claws tear through the cotton fabric when she reels him back in, bringing him down to her eye level. He looks into her eyes with the kind of terror that fuels her next actions.

“Do you know why you should thank her? Hmm?” She tilts her head to taunt him. “Because, if Noelle wasn’t here, I’d bite your face off.”

With one flick of her wrist she throws him down onto the rough concrete. He lands on his back with a dense thump. Susie drags her feet as she steps towards him. 

Susie bends over and reaches out to grab the front of his shirt. She delivers a powerful blow to the right of his snout, knocking his head against the concrete after she does so.

 he raises her arm up to repeat herself, until she hears a sharp inhale from behind her.

When she looks at Noelle, she still has her hand covering her mouth, frozen in place with large eyes. They share a few moments of eye contact while the lizard writhes beneath her, sporting a bloody nose. The way her fingers tremble sends a shiver down her spine, removing the anger that clouded her vision.

Susie is completely aware that her aggression is unnecessary. She knows full well that she could’ve just threatened him, and he would’ve ran off like a pest trying to hide from the sunlight. Even with this knowledge, she still acted like this, and now Noelle had to see it. Her fist unfurls and falls back to her side.

She pushes him away, forcing him into the brick wall next to them. He groans again at the blunt force applied to his body from the throw. She had done enough damage.

Susie picks herself up from the floor and wipes her hands on her jeans. She doesn’t want to look at Noelle, so she watches him fade in and out of consciousness. Her adrenaline burns out until she’s left with nothing but bitterness.

“Are you okay? He didn’t put his hands on you, right?” Susie talks with her head facing forward.

“Yeah. I’m… fine.”

Noelle’s footsteps become the loudest sound in the alleyway as she walks up to Susie. She forces all of her muscles to go stiff once they’re side by side. Through the corner of her eye, she can see the other looking at her waiting for her to return the gaze. She doesn’t.

“W-we have to go.” Noelle grabs onto her cardigan and tugs. She mindlessly follows the reindeer as she guides them out of the brooding alleyway and back into the lit parts of the city. Her eyes are glued to her shoes where she can also see Noelle’s small hand pulling on her sweater.

Susie becomes lost in a daze that tears her attention away from Noelle and wherever she was taking them. Her body becomes wracked with shame; soul-crushing in the way it runs her dry of all other thoughts. She’s only able to see Noelle’s horrified face plastered in her mind.

After tripping over several uneven sidewalks, and bumping into countless people, they find themselves back at the entrance to the bar where they spot  Kris leaning against a pillar.

“Kris,” Noelle calls out to them, causing Susie to perk her head up. Whether it was their faces, or some kind of gut feeling, they could tell that something was off. They waste no time charging towards the pair.

“What happened?” Worry comes through as much as it can for Kris by sounding a little less unnatural than usual.

“I should just, um, tell you in the car.” She puts forth an excuse when she realizes Asriel was quickly approaching them. They start a conversation that Susie tunes out in favor of looking at the yellow paint on the road in front of her.

Noelle never lets go of her hold on the fabric.

She notices that her name comes up several times over the course of their discussion, but it doesn’t make her snap back or join in. It continues on without her until Noelle starts to drag her to a new location.

They walk down the same sidewalk she took to get to the corner shop with the only difference being one right turn into a parking lot. At this point, it was just Noelle and Susie alone, which she doesn’t realize is the case until they reach their destination.

Toriel’s red minivan enters her field of vision amongst a row of other cars. Noelle lets go of her sleeve to walk towards the driver's side of the van, Susie heads to the other side to find herself in front of the passenger side door.

Noelle shoves the key into the slot and twists, unlocking all the doors in the car. Susie opens it up to be met with the smell of pistachio. She lands in the fabric seat and sighs.

The engine comes to life, followed by the sound of the AC turning on. Jania Twain only gets one second to sing before Susie almost jams her finger through the radio hitting the ‘mute’ button. The white noise was her preference.

Susie reaches down towards the side of her seat, feeling around for a switch. She pulls up on an oblong one which brings it low, almost allowing her to lay down. Once she’s settled, she closes her eyes and listens to the air travelling through the vents.

“Susie… Thank you for finding me, and… you know, doing what you did.” Noelle’s voice is hushed when she speaks.

“Yeah.” 

The two sit in the idling car, neither one sure of what to say next. Behind her eyelids, Susie catches a brief glimpse of Noelle’s twinkling eyes on her couch, churning her insides in perpetual motions.

Noelle was sitting with her, and yet, it still feels as if she’s an ocean away. Just like everything else she wanted, the girl was out of her reach despite how close she had gotten before. Her want still hangs low as it calls for something she can’t put a name to.

“The flowers only do so much. She might not like ‘em, but you can change ‘er mind by bein’ real honest with her. That’s all they need sometimes.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Susie’s remorse was piling itself high, along with all of the other things she felt guilty about. “I just- seeing him corner you like that, and how scared he made you… I just saw red. Then, you looked just as scared of me as you were of him. I… I’m sorry.”

A hand finds purchase on the space above her knee, Noelle squeezes once, then twice before Susie opens her eyes. She turns her head to the reindeer, who was facing her directly. A sliver of light from the moon brightens up a small section of her face.

She notes that her lip gloss had faded away an undetermined amount of time ago. Her eye makeup didn’t budge at all, neither did the cream products she wore. Noelle had changed some, but Susie can still see her the way she did before.

“You don’t have to apologize. You… didn’t scare me.” Noelle brings herself forward some. “I was so shocked that he was backing me up into the wall, and then I was even more shocked when you came. I couldn’t move… I don’t know why.”

“No, Noelle,” Susie shoves her hand off of her leg. “Don’t lie to me. You looked at me like I was a monster. And you’re right, I am. I didn’t need to-”

“Then what? What was he going to do to me if you didn’t come when you did? If you didn’t do that to him, he might go off and do it to someone else. Susie… don’t push me away.”

“Don’t push you away?” She raises herself out of her seat and stares at the reindeer incredulously. A fuse lights up and runs its trail throughout her being which makes her blood simmer.

“Don’t push you away? You can’t be serious? You made me feel so…. And then, I spent a week walking around town looking for you, and you avoided me like the plague. I’m pushing you away? You’re fucking kidding me…” There’s no way for Susie to mask her frustration. Her voice doesn’t become louder or crueler, just heavy.

“I-it’s not like that,” Noelle’s weak explanation falls on deaf ears as Susie plows on.

“What is it? I’ve thought about it thousands of times, and I can’t figure out what it is. I can’t figure out why I’m so upset that you’re ignoring me, I can’t figure out why you’re so hard to forget, I can’t figure out how it’s so easy for you to act like I don’t even exist when I can’t think about anything else but you.”

Noelle’s shellshocked expression is unmistakable from the way her features widen. All words escape her, leaving her with nothing but a shaky exhale as tears teem along her waterline. Susie continues to fill the space.

“I’m glad I got you out of there. I can’t change your mind about you hating me, or whatever, but I… guess I just believed it would be different this time. My bad.”

With all of her options exhausted, Susie descends back into the seat where she studies the grey, cloth ceiling. 

Well, I said how I feel, and she’s crying. Great job, asshole.

A knock raps against Noelle’s window to reveal the Dreemurr siblings. Noelle rolls down the window while trying to subtly wipe her eyes.

“They’re about to announce the winners, I’m gonna drive the car over to the door so you guys can load all of your stuff back in after, okay?” Asriel coaxes her out of the driver's seat and into the back with Kris, leaving Susie in the passenger seat while the elder brings them back to the bar.

Susie tries to get out once they arrive, but Kris asks her to stay in the car. Her thought is that they saw Noelle fighting back the waterworks, joined by the fact that Susie walked around like a zombie, it was best for her to keep put.

“You look beat. Try to nap, or something.”

They didn’t have to tell her twice.

The band plus Asriel put everything back into the trunk, organizing it the same way they did earlier. When they shut the door, she’s left by herself in the dark alleyway, only accompanied by the hum of the AC. She shuts her eyes so as to let time pass her by.

From inside the car, she could hear cheering from the bar, but was unable to make out specific words from the announcer. 

There was nothing that could’ve prepared her for this night, she could’ve never anticipated the emotional turmoil that comes with being as honest as she was. Days of bottling up her emotions had all come to a head to create the mess she finds herself in now.

There was no conceivable way Noelle would ever talk to her again, and there was nobody to blame but herself.

Susie hears the backdoor swing open with a moan. She cracks open her eyes to see Berdly run out, toting around a decently sized trophy. She opens the car door while the rest of them file outside, all wearing wide smiles.

Berdly tells her that they won second place with the first place spot being some band she can’t remember. At least it ends the night off on a more positive note.

Kris and Noelle hang back for a few minutes to talk to Asriel about when he’d be coming back down and whatnot. The other three return to their spots in the vehicle; Susie can hear the bird messing with the trophy behind her.

The ride back home is serene, a welcome change of pace from the way her night had been going an hour ago. Someone would make a comment every once in a while before they’d fall back into quietness, listening to another Jania Twain album.

Susie elects to stay silent the whole car ride; mentally and emotionally exhausted from the events of her day, she couldn’t think of anything else to say to anyone. Hearing Noelle chat and laugh brings her a bout of calamity that she thanks the Angel for.

They pass by the same tunnels, trees, and signs from the first part of their drive. When Susie wasn’t resting her eyes, she was watching them all disappear behind her. She wishes she could make all of her worries vanish in the same way.

The golden trees of Hometown start to overtake the evergreen ones planted into the ground until all she sees is a muted yellow soaring by.

The welcome sign comes and goes from the way Pizzapants speeds back into town, obviously eager to arrive back home. She couldn’t blame him as she was in the same exact boat. She’s relieved to be back in a familiar place where she knew everyone and everything.

They stop at Berdly’s first so that the two boys could bring his kit into the garage, leaving it strewn around messily. He wordlessly takes the trophy, which nobody can put up a fight for.

Noelle gets dropped off in front of her gates, giving her goodbyes through a yawn. Susie acts like she’s sleeping throughout it all.

Not long after, Pizzapants parks the minivan in the Dreemurrs driveway. He lets out a long exhale once the car is put into park. They all exit it for the final time that day, marking the end of their journey.

Pizza swings his two guitar cases over either shoulder before he wraps his fingers around the case of his pedal board, bringing the trunk back down shut with his free hand.

“I’ll swing by and grab my amp after work, Little Buddy.” He drops the keys into Kris’ open palm, the jingle cuts through the chirping of the cicadas. They agree with a dip of their head.

He bids them “good night” as he walks away from the house, the two teens do the same. Susie averts her gaze over to Kris who was staring down the road where he was just walking.

“You must be tired, huh?” Her hands find their way to her pockets, forcing them in out of habit.

Kris meets her eyes, bringing the crown of their skull down slightly to the left towards their house. Fluent in their nonverbal mannerisms, she knows exactly what they’re trying to ask.

“Nah, I think I’m gonna go home. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Her offer is accepted by purr of agreement. Susie brings her hand up to her chin and waves.

Her feet pick up from her spot on the pavement to lead her down the road. Something pops up in her mind causing her to turn on her heels. She faces Kris again for a brief moment, their stone-cold features the same as it ever was.

“You did awesome today!” She says it with just enough volume so that they’d hear her without disturbing the rest of the neighborhood. Kris cracks their small grin, becoming smaller and smaller the farther she walks away.

Before Susie knows it, she’s walking down the same winding road that leads her south of Hometown. She tilts her head up to the starless sky that lives overhead. She observes dark clouds slowly rolling by a half-moon, visible for only a few seconds before they blend back in with the night.

Uncertainty casts itself upon her like a curse. Granted, it stuck to her over the course of the week, but it was beginning to press into her with the sort of pressure she wasn’t ready for. 

Her conversation with Noelle was meant to go a lot better than it did, but she exploded; another frame of reference for her to look back on when she thinks of all the times she lacked self control.

She travels past the church and through the gates as she had done dozens of times before. While she’s moving in front of the headstones, she hears a twig breaking behind her.

Without a second thought, she stops her next step forward to instead change directions, facing the black iron another time over. Susie doesn’t even need the light to recognize the body in front of her.

Noelle steps closer to her, meeting her in the center of the cemetery. Susie holds her breath.

“Do you really think I hate you?” The lull in her voice from earlier remains, not at all washed by anger. “Do you think this is easy for me?”

“Noelle, you should probably go home.” Susie makes an attempt at ending the discussion in fear of her own emotions. Nothing changes about the reindeer's demeanor, her eyes trained on her.

“You were right to tell me off. I pushed you away, even though I knew it would turn out like this. I knew you’d be upset, and I knew it would hurt you. My own selfishness hurts me too. I know I have no right to be, but I am… and that’s just how it is. 

“I am selfish, and- and I have a lot of things wrong with me. You just got so close to me, to everything that’s wrong with me I… I didn’t know what to do. I don’t want you to burn with me, yet I can’t stand keeping you away. Nothing about it makes sense, or is fair to you, but this is me. I run away, and I avoid the things that scare me. If anything, you should hate me.”

Her monologue ends without her ever looking away, pouring herself out to Susie in the middle of the yard. Susie chokes out a dry laugh in response.

“You think I don’t have anything wrong with me either? Shit, Noelle, I jump the gun at every opportunity; I don’t know when to stop fighting, or how to calm down and handle things like everyone else does. You’re not the only one with issues.”

The two remain sown into their spots, with Susie digging her heels into the dirt. Noelle captures her bottom lip with furrowed brows that hold back something she wants to say. Susie hears the shopkeeper in her mind telling her to be honest. Not brash, or quick to blame, just telling the entire truth as evenly as she could.

“So what if you’re selfish? So what if you run away? I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care about the problems you think make you a bad person. I know you, Noelle. You think you’re all of these things, but I know for a fact you’re not. Whatever you have going on I can take it just… let me take it.”

A week's worth of build-up sits between them with metric tons of tension attached to it. Noelle nods following her affirming words, drinking them in with full understanding.

“Did you mean it when you said you can’t think about anything else but me?” Noelles speaks low, bordering on hesitance.

“Yes. I mean it, every day. You drive me crazy when you’re next to me, and still when you’re not near me.” She doesn’t hold a single thought back as she verbalizes everything to her.

Noelle shaves off some of the space amidst their bodies by bringing herself forward one step. 

“You don’t scare me, Susie. I wasn’t lying when I told you that. I’ve never thought that you’d hurt me. Even watching you beat him up, or even when you threatened Kris, I never thought you were a monster.” She dips her voice down further into her chest which resonates within Susie’s mind.

Susie’s pulse beats against her skin obnoxiously. Her heart is working double-time to keep her from collapsing into Noelle- she’d crush her, but she’s aware that the reindeer doesn’t mind.

“C-can I…” Noelle's irises dart over her eyes, then her lips, going back and forth between the different spots of her face. Susie works quicker than Noelle can finish her dropped off sentence.

Susie brings a hand up to cradle the back of Noelle’s head in her grasp, silky hair runs through her fingers to provide some coolness to her warm hands. She tries to work tenderly, so as to not be too rough with Noelle. However, it’s the reindeer who applies all of the force.

She places her hands on either side of Susie’s head with her thumbs in front of her ears. She steers Susie downwards towards her, moving her head to one side while Noelle assumes the other.

Their lips collide briefly for just one peck before they pull back for a moment. It takes no time for them to dive back in to let flesh meet flesh. It was clumsy and experimental, both girls not always knowing where they should go, or when to pucker up. Eventually, they find their shared rhythm, discovering that Noelle prefers to take her top lip; Susie follows her lead and messily kisses her.

Their desperation seeps through every time they collide, a direct showing of how much they had missed each other. Noelle grabs a fistful of Susie’s shirt before she begins to lower them to the grass. They never break away or part during the landing. Susie becomes fully seated on the ground while Noelle sits on her knees, keeping her close through the grip on the cotton.

The reindeer's other hand snakes away from her hair, instead working to push Susie back onto the ground. Once her spine meets the hard earth, Noelle crawls over her, bracketing her sides between her thighs, keeping Susie in place. She moves her hands down to Noelle’s hips, grabbing onto the bones with a fierce grip.

Noelle’s tongue slides out for a moment, swiping across the other's top lip. When she does it a second time, her muscle goes past the entrance of her mouth, asking to come in. Susie lets her be the guide; she parts her lips farther and allows Noelle to intrude.

Susie’s body temperature rises with every second that she and Noelle are connected. Her lungs burn, begging for relief in the form of an inhale. Susie puts it off as long as she can from not wanting to separate from the other. She thinks that if she dies from asphyxiation right now, she would be dying happily.

Noelle tends to her every need with an unmatched level of care, doing everything in her power to appease her. Everything about it is wholly blissful.

Noelle picks her head up to try and part them, but Susie follows her upwards trajectory blindly. She pushes down on the others shoulder with enough force that tells her she needs a breather. When they’re separated, Susie looks at her glistening lips, wet with saliva. 

“Shit…” Susie curses through exhales. Noelle looks down at her with all of her pressure set on Susie’s abdomen. “I guess Kris was right.”

Noelle quirks an eyebrow at the mention of their name coming up now.

“About what?” The reindeer beckons forward with her question. Susie adorns a shit-eating grin.

“You think I smell good, don’t you?” She teases her, popping out her tongue playfully afterwards.

Noelle wipes the look off of her face with another brush of their lips.

“Don’t you think I smell good?” Noelle returns the question, placing another kiss on her.

“Well yeah.” Susie's reply is cut off by an additional one. “They told me that you think I smell extra good, though. Uh… Biology, and shit.”

“Oh, Angel.” Noelle giggles her way into another peck, seizing Susie once more by licking into her again.

Susie figures out several truths within the span of ten minutes: firstly, Noelle must’ve learned to kiss from an expert the way she leaves Susie gasping for air and sanity. Secondly, her feelings were shared; not alone within the confines of her mind, but something that Noelle gives into entirely, not once denying her. Thirdly, Susie should start taking singing lessons so that she could last without air as long as Noelle could.