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Starlight didn’t want to think about what might’ve happened if Sandbar and the CMC hadn’t found her in the catacombs at the bottom of the school.
What if they hadn’t caught Cozy Glow sneaking down the ground entrance? Would any of the students have questioned her prolonged disappearance? Would any of them have the common sense to realize that Starlight wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave a FILLY in charge of things.
Honestly, given how Cozy Glow was able to rally up the students against Sandbar’s friends, she didn’t have much faith in her students to actually do something about her disappearance.
Part of Starlight resented herself for thinking that way. Most of these ponies were just easily influenced teenagers and Cozy Glow had proven what a manipulative mastermind she ended up being, that’s why Twilight sent the little menace to Tartarus after all but another part of her couldn’t help but shudder at the fact that Cozy Glow was able to make the students believe she had left her in charge so easily and that she just up and left with no trace other than a letter that Cozy Glow had written.
Being trapped in that orb wasn’t fun once she became aware of her situation, Cozy Glow had explained vividly that she and the orb containing all of Equestria’s magic would be sent to another realm. Starlight didn’t know if that meant she’d be sucked into some empty void or another dimension entirely but the thought of being stripped away from Equestria itself from all her friends and newfound family, pretty much everyone she had grown to love over the years… well, it made Starlight panic more than she liked to admit.
Starlight kept a brave face for everyone else’s sake, but on the inside she was internally panicking that she would never see her dad, Sunburst, Trixie, Discord, Thorax, Maud, Spike, or Twilight ever again. That she would lose everything she ever cared about in the span in three days, and all because no one realized Cozy Glow’s true intentions.
Keeping a brave face became easier once she rationalized that this was likely karma for all the shit she’s done. Whether it be during her villain days of stealing cutie marks and trying to destroy Twilight’s friendships, or recklessly using her magic in many ways that inconvenienced others.
Eventually Starlight realized that she was using a cycle of self loathing to ease the pain of losing everything and all it was doing was just cutting the wound deeper so she went back to just fearing for her life in a physical and psychological sense. It wasn’t fun, but it was healthier than trying to rationalize the cruelty that was happening to her.
Thankfully Sandbar, Yona, Smolder, Ocellus, Silverstream, and Gallus were indeed able to save Equestria from Cozy Glow’s plan and Cozy Glow got put in Tartarus.
Equestria was okay, her students were okay, and Starlight herself was okay. She didn’t have to worry about losing anyone in her life and as she walked back to the castle with Twilight and Spike, she paid extra close attention to everyone and everything surrounding her and the steps she took.
Everything was okay, she was still in Equestria, and most importantly, Twilight and Spike were still alive. That’s all that was important…
“Uh, Starlight.” Spike’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to see Twilight and Spike staring at her in concern which made her shake off the spaced out look in her eyes.
“Wha… yeah?” Starlight stammered with a nervous smile.
“Starlight, we both know you too well to see when you’re trying to hide your feelings from us.” Spike spoke bluntly, “You haven’t even lied yet and we can tell something’s bothering you.”
“Geez… that obvious, huh?” Starlight asked sheepishly.
“Not really. We’ve just gotten better at reading you.” Twilight smiled lightheartedly before she also frowned in concern, “But if we’re being real, we did notice you were a little distant during the process of dealing with Cozy Glow. You barely spoke a word to anybody.”
“I’m sorry…” Starlight said. looking away in shame.
“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?” Spike raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“I-If I didn’t let Cozy Glow trap me in that Celesta-damned orb, none of this would’ve gone as far as it did, and we wouldn’t have had to rely on the students to bail us out.” Starlight said miserably before Twilight immediately grabbed her front hooves and made sure Starlight was looking at her.
“Hey hey, look at me. I’m the one who put too much trust in a filly. If anypony is to blame for Cozy Glow’s plans going this far, it’s NOT you.” Twilight said reassuringly before sighing, “I get why you feel this way though. Sandbar and the Cutie Mark Crusaders made me aware of what Cozy Glow was planning to do with you. I’m really sorry you went through that.”
Starlight couldn’t hold herself back anymore and she immediately embraced Twilight as she began crying. Instead of judging her however, Twilight softly hugged her back with a comforting smile while Spike joined in, trying his best to comfort Starlight the best he could, which she appreciated.
Despite the crying, Starlight was able to feel a sense of healing from this breakdown. After all, it reminded her that even if other ponies didn’t put much thought into her, Twilight and Spike did, and for now, that’d be enough.