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“- I’m so glad we see eye to eye, that’s why I love you so much”
“Ewww cut it out! That’s so gross I could die!”
“….Yeah”
Dazai said, coughing into his elbow.
This was fortunate, as it meant neither of them saw the pale white petal fall from his mouth to the ground.
Neither of them saw the red pool of blood like substance as he crushed the petal with his heel as the pair continued on walking either.
—————————
Dazai
Seven years later…
The brunette had not expected to run into Chuuya at his favourite bar.
After all, it was far from where the ginger usually was assigned missions or safe houses.
And Dazai didn’t expect to see him there, just sitting so peacefully at the counter like he belonged.
He felt it.
The flowers were back.
Swiftly, so Chuuya wouldn’t see him, he turned on his heels and left the bar, walking quickly away from it.
He didn’t know were he was going, he just needed to leave before the flowers wormed their way up out of his throat and he would be back to we’re he stared, no better of from having had the surgery and cut of Chuu-
“Dazai?”
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his name being spoken, just enough to almost snap him out of his revery.
He looked around, confused. He was outside the agency, out of breath and with Ranpo standing over him.
“Dazai?” Ranpo repeated.
He could hear his voice, but didn’t process the words coming from his mouth. It was as if he was not there at all, but rather in a dream land far, far away.
He hears sounds, muffled coughing, and then shocked speaking and yelling. He briefly registers the pain in his lungs and throat as the hauntingly beautiful flowers fall from his mouth and into a bloody puddle on the ground.
Camellias
White camellias
His favourite.
The sudden realisation of this seems to snap Dazai back into reality.
He was kneeling on the ground outside the armed detective agency’s office with Ranpo next to him.
“Dazai, what’s going on?”
Both of them knew Ranpo had enough skill to work this out in a heartbeat, so the question was more out of compassion than anything.
He said nothing.
“Dazai, Yosano is coming ok? She’ll be here in a few minutes, it’s going to be ok.”
Ranpo said in an attempt of reassurance.
But Dazai wasn’t listening.
It had all been for nothing he had ghosted him for years, trying to let go of the feelings that were making the flowers. But he had only held them of, and probably stoped the Chibi from returning his feelings. If anything, he was worse off than before.
“It was all for nothing” he heard himself say, voice barely above a whisper.
“I just ruined things as always”
He let out a choked sob, the petals in his throat growing damp.
Ranpo didn’t hear him, as his words and sobs were drowned out as Yosano arrived and he was promptly taken upstairs to the medical room.
It was over an hour for him to regain his senses, pretended everything was fine.
But it wasn’t.
—————————
“Dazai, how long has this been going on!? You need a cure as soon as possible!”
“Their is no cure. He has Hanahaki. I’m surprised he hid it for this long.”
Ranpo piped up
“Yes, I know he has Hanahaki” Yosano said, and you could tell she was unsure if she should be concerned or laugh.
It was ridiculous after all. Dazai, the former demon prodigy or the mafia. Him, falling ill with the Unrequited love disease.
“There is a sort of cure. If his feelings are returned or forgotten, then he will be cured. But it’s not always certain that they will go away then. The other option is a surgery, but he would likely forget the memories of that person and even then I might come back.”
Yosano said.
Dazai felt his throat tighten. He didn’t want to forget Chuuya again. How could he forget about him for a second time?
Yosano seemed to notice his reluctance to agree to a second surgery. “Dazai, go home and get some rest. You can think about what you want to do tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk him home, make sure he doesn’t try and choke himself on the flowers”
Ranpo volunteered.
—————————
“So, who has you coughing out camellias on the sidewalk huh?” Ranpo asked as they walked to Dazais apartment.
“Guess” Dazai said, knowing the detective would easily figure it out.
“Well, it can’t be someone you see often, because you were fine until this evening and it’s triggered by the person, but it cant be someone you just meet, because the Hanahaki is to far along for that, so my guess is someone from the mafia, and based on your taste in dates I’ll say…
Chuuya Nakahara?”
“Right again Ranpo” Dazai said with a sigh as they reached his apartment.
“Don’t tell the others will you?”
“I would never! Bye Dazai don’t throw up too many flowers” Ranpo says as he leaves Dazais apartment.
Even after rest, Dazai still felt awful. The flowers were painful, but that wasn’t even the worst of it.
He still had to face the agency, as Ranpo not telling anyone meant he still had to go into work.
And then there was the fact that he needed to tell Chuuya…
—————————
“Dazai Osamu, you lazy bandage wasting bastard get out of bed and come to work!”
Their are a lot of voicemails saying similar things, all from Kunikida.
Dazai groans.
The last thing he wants to do today is go to work.
The disease is almost bearable at home, where he can suffer without Kunikida or anyone else pestering him, but if he starts coughing up flowers at work, ugghhh.
He doesn’t even want to think about what the rest of the agency would say, Ranpo and Yosano are already more than
enough.
Well, he had better go to work before Kunikida or anyone else came and pestered him and discovered his condition.
He started to get ready, pulled on his coat (he hadn’t been bothered to change before collapsing into bed), depositing of yet more petals in the sink, along with more of his blood.
It was funny, the way the flowers were ripping his insides up. He had always played with death like a game, but now he was fighting for his life.
From a stupid disease.
That Chuuya caused.
He looked at his reflection in the mirror.
He was pale.
To pale.
It didn’t take a genius to realise the other ADA members would notice. After all, they did literally run a detective agency.
Oh well, it’s not like he could do anything about it.
He left his apartment, the autumn air crisp on his features.
—————————
“There you are Dazai, skiving of work yet again, you have paperwork to be doing!”
“Hmm? Kunikida-Kun, I wasn’t skiving of! I was simply addressing a more pressing issue”
“That “more pressing issue” better be work related, or….”
He stopped short as the president came in.
Dazai usually took this time to slip away before he could finish that threat.
Today though, the president stoped him first.
“Dazai, there is a battle that requires your skill as me and…. Mori, have agreed that this is a necessity to bring back a certain duo. You will be meeting at the rooftop at five, he said you know what that means.”
“Of course president I would be honoured to help, just give me an hour to find more nicknames for slug—“
—————————
Chuuya
The last time he saw Dazai was a week after the flowers came.
At first, they were easy to hide.
He could play it if as a slight cough, and no one would question it.
After all, who would question the newly promoted executive?
After Dazai left
They got worse.
Harder to hide.
He managed to ignore them for a while, and they mostly went away.
At least, they did until a few days ago.
When he saw him at that bar:
Dazai didn’t think he had noticed him at the door, but Chuuya noticed.
Chuuya noticed everything about the taller brunette.
And the flowers weren’t as easy to ignore anymore.
They came half or even fully bloomed, instead of just petals like before.
It hurt more as well.
And then Mori roped him into that mission…
—————————
Dazai
He was tired.
And sick,
And he was
So done with this.
Why did he have to do this mission?
He was practically on his death bed.
His hanahaki would surely get worse after seeing the ginger.
He couldn’t afford that.
But if his facade slipped…
They would interfere
Or worse,
Pity him.
Yosano and Ranpo knowing were already to many people.
But they would pity him and he would lose his job, so what choice did he have?
—————————
The president was right, Dazai did know what “meeting at the rooftop” meant.
The rooftop was their sanctuary, or at least it had been.
It was the place were Chuuya had first stumbled upon one of Dazai’s many attempts.
He had caught the brunette jumping of the building.
Quite literally caught him, using Upon the Tainted Sorrow to save him.
He doubled over coughing, the memory triggering the flowers.
After the coughing fit, he resumed his walk to the roof.
The instructions the president had given him were very vague, but he assumed the shorter would know.
—————————
“So, what are the details?” Dazai asked as he arrived - Chuuya was there first, obviously.
“What, I thought you had them, all I was told was to meet you here at five”
Well, that’s what I was told too. I guess we should just give up and die” as Dazai said this, the wind picked up.
God, he forgot how cold it it would get up here. When it was this cold, they had usually gone into an old shed that was up there.
It seemed Chuuya was thinking along the same lines as him.
“We may as well go inside, Its freezing”
Luckily, the shed was unlocked. It looked just as it had four years ago, if more dusty.
They both stepped inside, and that was when Dazai saw it.
A note.
Then he heard the door slam behind them. And then lock.
“What” He spun around to face Chuuya, who looked just as confused as him, if not more.
“There’s a letter, maybe we should read that?” Chuuya said, stating the obvious.
Dazai walked over and opened the letter
It said,
Dear Dazai and Chuuya,
We know you must be confused, but you guys need to work some things out so here you go, please do well because none of us want to lose our best members.
Signed,
Yosano, Ranpo, Mori, Fukuzawa
P.s I wrote this - Ranpo
“Well that’s helpful” Dazai said, passing the letter to Chuuya for him to read.
“What the hell!? What is this nonsense Dazai, what do they mean about losing the two best members huh!?”
“Why do you automatically assume I would know?”
“Well their are more names of people from YOUR AGENCY on here, I don’t know maybe you asked them to set this up?”
“Why would I ask to be locked in a shed with a slug?! I knew you were short but I didn’t realise your brain was a a small as you are.”
“Stop insulting my height Mackerel, I have no clue what your intentions for anything are so who knows why you would ask for this.”
That shocked Dazai, they had used to know each other better than they knew themselves.
He felt the tickling sensation in his throat rising - OH NO NOT HERE, NOT NOW!!!
But the flowers in his throat paid no attention to his silent pleas as he had another coughing fit.
Chuuya, of course, was watching this and wondering if Dazai had been drinking medicine again, and if he was going to have to deal with the results of another attempt.
This was, of course, until blood and flowers started pouring out of his mouth
-fully formed ones too.
“Oh my god, Dazai are you ok?!” Chuuya said as he ran over to the brunettes side.
He mentally kicked himself for the stupid question, of course Dazai wasn’t ok.
But Dazai didn’t answer, he couldn’t as the petals where stuck in this throat so he could barely breathe, let alone speak.
“Osamu-“ Chuuya was crouched by his side now.
“Who for?”
Dazai’s throat seemed to clear for a minute and he looked up at Chuuya with that expression, that damn expression!
And then Chuuya broke too. The months worth of built up flowers came spilling out of his mouth as he coughed.
He vaguely registered Dazai looking at him is shock, but he was in to much pain to respond.
After what felt like a lifetime but was likely only ten minutes, they were both sitting on the floor in silence surrounded by blood and flower petals.
“So you to huh” Dazai eventually said, and then, of all things he started laughing. Actually laughing.
“It’s not funny mackerel”
“Oh but it is funny Chuuya! Your sense of humour is just to small to see how hilarious this is”
“No it isn’t, and you never answered my question, who for?”
“Wow, I guess I was right before then, slugs brain really is tiny!”
“For gods sake shitty Dazai, answer the question!”
“You, dumb slug”
“Dazai that’s not funny”
“I never said I was joking” he said look at Chuuya with that same expression again.
“I love you Chuuya”
“ITS NOT FUNNY SHITTY DAZAI!!!”
“IM NOT JOKING CHUUYA! EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE I SPEND THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU’D BE DOING! I CANT EVEN COMIT DOUBLE SUICIDE WITHOUT BEING DISAPOINTED ITS NOT WITH YOU! YOU GAVE ME HANAHAKI CHUUYA! YOU PLAGUE MY THOUGHTS, MY LUNGS AND HEART, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT! How much more do I have to give you before I break, Chuuya?” Dazai said, pacing back and forth in the tiny shed as he got more and more emotional.
“I never asked you for any of that Dazai, all I wanted was you to stay with me. Why didn’t you take me with you Dazai? Or at the very least say goodbye properly?” the ginger said, tears streaming from his face, both from pain and the horrible memories.
“I Barely remembered you, I got the surgery the day before, that’s the entire reason I left in the first place, so it wouldn’t come back!”
“But why Dazai? You could have said something before you got the surgery?” Chuuya said, and he felt the grip on his lungs loosen.
“Because Chuuya. I couldn’t bare losing you before when I could have died.”
Chuuya doubled over coughing again. This time however, the flower that fell from his mouth had roots.
“Dazai… I think it’s cured” he said looking at the flower on the ground with shock.
“Heh” Dazai said. Chuuya noticed he never had been cured himself.
“So, if you like me why are you not cured?”
“I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have had hanahaki in the first place if I was I?”
“But you’re sure now aren’t you?”
“No chibi I’m not. You, or anyone else has not business loving someone like me.”
“Damn it Dazai you bastard is it not clear from my reaction to all of this that isn’t some one off thing or a mistake? You’re worthy of this any you always were.”
“BUT I’M NOT CHUUYA!!! The entire reason I got the surgery and left is because I was never good enough for you or anything! You could have done so much more if I had left you earlier!” Dazai said, the tears falling from his face and onto the ground alongside the bloody petals.
“You dummy!! You only broke me more, I love you and nothing you say can stop that.”
“Chuuya, I-“ he cut himself of, sinking to the floor as he coughs up yet more flowers.
“Dazai!” Chuuya said rushing to his side for the second time.
Dazai didn’t even know the ginger was there until he felt arms around him.
Then, he felt Chuuya’s lips meet his.
They were warm and soft like honey, as he melted into the kiss.
That was enough for the Hanahaki, and he pulled away to cough up one last withering flower.
“Chuuya…”
“Dazai you bastard you could have died! You could have died you asshole!!!”
“I know. But I didn’t, thanks to you” Dazai said draping himself over the shorter male like a coat.
“That’s true. You’re heavy, get of me mackerel”
“Ok” Dazai said with a smirk and then positioned himself so Chuuya was sitting on him.
“Oh stop it”
“But Chuuyaaaaa” He protested as Chuuya got up.
He expected the ginger to walk away, but instead he was helped up by Chuuya.
“Come on Osamu, we’re going to dinner”
He said, using his ability to open the door.
“You could have done that the whole time!!!”
“Well…”
“Aww chibi wanted to stay in here with me!!!” He said, tangling his arm with Chuuya’s as they walked outside.
“Shut up”
“ChIBis BLusHInG”
“Stop it shitty Dazai, or I will rip your head of.”
THE END