Chapter Text
Don’t get this wrong, J loves her job. While being upper management for an entire bunker of worker drones wasn’t exactly her dream, it was close enough. The satisfaction of knowing that worker drones’ talents will be used optimally instead of wasted sparks joy through all her circuits. In addition, transforming messy storage spaces into neatly filed cabinets where the information you sought was an easy search away had always brought her pleasure. What was there to dislike about this work?
Mistakes.
J hates mistakes.
At first, she thought that one of the workers had either misread the instructions or been given the wrong schedule. Of course, she chewed him out. However, when she attempted to have him moved to his proper workstation, another worker was already there. While she had said much MUCH worse to N before, the fact that she was completely wrong humiliated her and forced an apology and a day off for the misplaced worker.
Of course, she immediately began examining the worksheets to uncover how this clerical error could have occurred. It was a nightmare, literally. She had had nightmares about this scenario before. J thought she was the best employee to ever serve Outpost 3. But now, she felt like she had accomplished nothing. How were there so many mistakes?
Only half of the roof reinforcements for the warehouse sector had been delivered. This project was supposed to be completed two weeks ago, and she hadn’t even delivered all the resources to the worksite yet.
After J scheduled the delivery and completion of the warehouse roof, she found a dozen other projects she had mismanaged, wasting her subordinates time and the company’s money. She desperately tried to fix all her mistakes, but there were too many. The buildup of clerical errors would take two months minimum to fix. All the improvement projects she had planned and promised would be delayed horribly.
I can fix this! Yeah! I just need to calm down first.
J opens her mini fridge and after a moment of thought, takes two thermoses of oil out. She also pulls out a bag of microchips from the pantry. She eats her snacks and begins figuring out how to minimize the disaster that spawned from her error.
Uzi Doorman has had a great day! That’s definitely why she is currently crawling through the vents! She couldn’t fly with N and V because she had to fix the circuit breakers she exploded with her super rail gun experiment. She should have known that trying to amp up the power of her railgun to moon destroying levels like doom guy’s BFG wouldn’t work on the bunker’s power grid. Her ideas had always been too grand for normal worker drone materials.
That only took half the night. Why couldn’t she join her mates flight dance afterwards? Robo Satan just had to flare up! Her lower body had refused to be constrained to two legs for the past five hours! At least Cyn couldn’t harass her through her tail when it was completely subsumed by the centipede body. But that also meant she couldn’t ask the only experienced solver drone how long she was stuck like this.
[Installing ABS: Comfy Cuddly Underbelly]
“Stupid eldritch worm program.” Uzi mutters, “Trying to confuse with these weird updates. I wonder if J knows anything about this.”
Do I really want to speak with the corpo? She probably doesn’t know anything. I guess I could at least check on her. Try to be nice n stuff. It would make N happy, so why not?
Uzi changes directions and heads towards J’s office. J had an apartment, but only spent time there when she sleeps. She is a serious workaholic. On her way, she feels the underbelly softening from the same steel as her top shell to a silicon covering. Perfect for snuggling her partners.
Probably trying to distract herself like I do with my inventions… Am I really relating to a human loving corpo? N did say we were more similar than I thought. I told him I never had sex with a human, and he said that being with a disassembly drone was close enough. Ugh.
Thankfully, before that train of thought can go any further, Uzi arrives at J’s office.
Is that whimpering?
Uzi opens the vent grate quietly.
Holy biscuit eater.
J’s office is messier than Uzi has ever seen any of J’s rooms. It’s still cleaner than hers on most days, but absolutely filthy by J’s standards. The papers are not neatly organized, instead spread out for their manager to try and read them all at once. There is trash in a pile on the floor. Five cans of oil, four bags of microchips, and a satchel that used to be filled with titanium snack bars.
She ate all of that? 😱
J herself is also much messier than usual. Her hair is frazzled. Part of her tie snapped off from frantic stressed pulling. Her jacket is open instead of buttoned up. Instead of neatly ironed clothes, what J is wearing is very frumpled. From her view above, Uzi also notices that J’s belly is bulging a little bit from the intense stress eating. Her writing is shaking slightly, which meant she was writing illegibly by normal drone standards.
J freezes. Uzi notices that she is breathing heavily.
“What are you doing in the vents?” J asks, “Why are you here?”
Uzi hears the fear in her voice and sees tears in her eyes, growing her concern. J has never shown weakness except the in the presence of Cyn (A demon).
[Installing ABS: Motherly Host]
She decides to be a little casual before showing her concern.
“I was gonna fly with N and V, but got stuck inside while fixing the circuits I busted yesterday.”
“That sucks.” J monotones, desperately hiding her distress.
“Yeah, look at this!” Uzi quietly shouts in agitation before crawling most of her body into the room.
J’s eyes widen as Uzi’s segmented body fills her room. It doesn’t touch anything, so she can’t even yell at her to stop messing up her stuff. Instead, she sits there, mouth open. Uzi snorts in response.
“V had a similar look on her face the first time she saw this too. She was about to attack me, so I kissed her to show I was still in control.” (Im awesome)
J blushes and looks down shutting her mouth.
“Seriously though, are you okay? You look like your boss fired you.”
J hesitates.
[ABS Ping: Trustworthy Host]
“I won’t judge.” Uzi assures the nervous disassembler, “These guys ignored me for my entire life. I don’t really care that much if they have to suffer a little bit. You got some payback for me.”
She awkwardly grins.
J rolls her eyes, (There was a hint of a smile! Victory for Uzi!) “Why do you care though? I abused your boyfriend and praise corporations you hate.”
Uzi blushes, “A few weeks after I became the new host, I started feeling this need to protect every drone that has the solver. I think it gave me some dumb parental instincts or something. So even if I think you are a stuck up corpo who needs to learn how to have fun-”
J snorts in amusement.
“I still care about you and want you to be happy.”
J raises her eyebrows. Really? Is written all over her face.
[ABS Ping: Lower Emotional Barriers]
Uzi frowns, “I could leave if you want to go back to freaking out over this mess. Did you actually do something that could get you fired?”
J looks at her paperwork. The mess covering her entire desk screams at her. Failure. Liability. Tears appear on her visor. J sniffs and grabs a handful of microchips from another bag.
“I-” crunch “I somehow completely mismanaged a fourth of my projects! I have 13 jobs I promised would be done by the end of the week that, due to my misuse of resources, there is no chance we finish before the end of next month!” Sniff
Uzi furrows her brow in concern. She is not good at comforting people like N.
“Can I touch-”
She blushes and shuts her mouth. (BAD PHRASING!)
“Gah! Im not used to this. Can I … hug you?”
J takes another bite of chips. “Okay.” She whispers, surprising Uzi.
Uzi gently picks up the distraught woman and sits her down in a coil of her centipede body. The softer underbody gently encompasses J’s back and thighs, giving her a comforting hug. A sigh escapes J’s lips. She leans back into Uzi’s soft embrace and eats the last of her chips. Uzi sets her head on top of J’s.
“I’m finally taller than you.” Uzi smirks.
J smirks, “Still uglier.” Munch
“Yeah yeah.” Uzi rolls her eyes, “Robo-Satan is a b****. Seriously though, you don’t have to be perfect. I’ve noticed more complete projects since you took over than the last five years. I think they will-”
J whimpers.
“Is something wrong? Was that too weird?” Uzi responds concerned she freaked J out.
[ABS Ping: Tired]
“No.” J whispers, “You’re fine.”
Gurgle
She blushes, “My stomach hurts.”
Uzi blinks and looks at the offending organ. (Vine boom as her eyes pop out of her head) It’s huge. J’s belly looks like it was copied from a pregnant human woman. Uzi feels like a magnet is dragging her hand towards the inflated silicon. She makes contact, and gently digs her fingers into the pudge.
Through lidded eyes, J looks up at her couch. Placing her hand on top of Uzi’s, she whispers
“That felt nice.”
Uzi opens her mouth to mock her, then realizes how stupid that would be and closes it. Instead, she nods and places both hands on the swollen stomach. She slowly pulls and pushes the silicon, pressing it into the snacks stuffing J. The massage brings interesting noises out of J’s voice box, causing Uzi to stop in embarrassment.
“No, please, a little more.” J whimpers, “Just press it out.”
Uzi digs in hard.
BUUUURP
“Aaaaah.” J groans, “I needed that.”
She looks at her belly. It is smaller than before, but still clearly swollen, and very very heavy. Uzi is gently rubbing circles now. Fortunately, this doesn’t cause her to squeak out embarrassing sounds constantly while still soothing her taunt tummy. J opens her mouth, then closes it, not wanting to ruin the comfortable silence.
Thus, the two drones sit in the quiet room. The gurgling of J’s tummy trying to digest her overindulgence slowly quiets as it succeeds. Uzi’s circles are only a light touch. There isn’t enough friction to make noise. J tries to close her eyes, but her stomach is just too upset for her to relax properly. She whimpers, squirming.
“What’s wrong?” Uzi asks.
“My stomach is so heavy and still a little tight. I can’t relax. Can- can you help with that?”
[Installing ABS: Comfort Crib]
WTF is a comfort crib?
“Ummmm. Yeah.” Uzi replies, distracted by this very odd update. “Give me a second to… Im not listening to that again.”
She pulls two canteens of oil out of her backpack. She planned to drink one while fixing the breaker, but the drones there had been nice and donated her some, leaving her with extra. A little rummaging later, and two straws are plopped into the drinks.
“Here, I have extra and this will keep you from making all those awkward noises.” She says bluntly.
“More food won’t help my overfilled stomach.” J deadpans.
“This is extra thin oil!” Uzi protests, “It will encourage your digestion. Just drink slowly and it won’t cause any more discomfort.”
J does just that, always the perfect employee. Uzi gets back to kneading the disassemblers swollen gut. They fall into a rhythm of gentle and aggressive squishing. J only every takes the straw out to burp. Her headlights dim. She is running on minimal power, dozing. Uzi lets her mind wander and decides to check what the solver considered a crib.
…
…
What. The. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFiscuits.
There is a chamber in one of her centipede segments designed to hold a drone inside without digesting them. Is that supposed to be comforting or something? Robo-Satan is not only evil, but freaky! Uzi opens her mouth to ask J about the solver updates, but as she refocuses, she notices how out of it J is.
[Installing ABS: Comfort Consumption]
I should just eat her and let her sleep.
…
SH**. It’s messing with my thoughts to
But it was made to help her…
Uzi sucks air out of her canteen. It’s empty. J’s probably is too.
“J?” Uzi whispers, “Did you finish your oil?”
“MMM?” She mumbles back almost imperceptibly, “Yeaaah.”
“You should enjoy a nice long rest before you get to fixing this.” Uzi whispers back, “Your apartment is kind of far away, and the solver grew a- uh. Sleeping chamber inside of me.”
J is too tired to be properly concerned. “Cool.”
“It’s calibrated specifically for you!” Uzi assures.
“mmm.”
“Okay, I’m just gonna… uh… slip you inside.”
Uzi gently removes the empty oil canteen from J’s loose grip. Setting it down with the other empty trash before gently picking J up. She initially planned on eating the disassembly drone legs first, but then realized that it would involve looking up her skirt… Yeah no. Head first it is.
Uzi decides to nibble on J’s head first. (Uzi’s upper body sitting on top of her worm lower gently nomming a dozing J looks so cute in my head) As J’s head slides into Uzi’s mouth, she notices that her hair still tastes stressed. Better fix that. Her tongue was subtly transformed during one of the solver updates and begins producing excess saliva. She lathers J’s hair, hoping it’s soothing. J doesn’t flinch in disgust.
Must be a weird instinct. V has shown a lot of catlike tendencies. J probably got the grooming ones. And Im acting like a mother cat. Great. Welp, time to swallow her.
Upon that thought, Uzi’s jaw and throat click, the solver expanding them just wide enough to fit her charge inside. She sucks J in, and in order to avoid being fetishy, swallows quickly. In a matter of seconds, J is in the “Comfort Crib.”
It’s really just my second stomach.
Uzi rolls her eyes.
Stupid solver making stupid names.
She looks around and decides to clean up a little bit. Her belly sways much more than usual from J’s weight. Uzi stops the movement with her hand.
Pat pat pat.
She quickly organizes the papers covering J’s desk into two neat piles. After tossing the trash into the can, she ties up the bag and puts a new one in. She is going to take J back to her apartment. She puts her head in the vent to start crawling through.
J won’t fit. I’ll have to stay here, or go through the halls.
…
I am not showing everyone this.
[Activating ABS: Camouflage]
Projectors activate, shrouding Uzi in blue light, and the massive worm body is gone. Normal worker drone Uzi reporting for duty! Nothing suspicious at all.
Of course, the worker drones Uzi walks past do not notice the fact that a giant centipede solver monster is mere feet away. The illusions are designed to fool them after all. After locking J’s apartment door, Uzi drops the façade.
“Aaaah.” Uzi sighs, “What time is it?”
Vine boom
“6 am already?” She grumbles, “I guess I’ll just sleep in here. J probably won’t mind waking up inside me.”
She laughs, “No she’ll completely freak out and start shouting corporate approved obscenities. I have to hear that! So where will I sleep?”
Uzi eventually decides to curl up around the bed with J’s resting chamber set right on top of it. She snuggles into her own soft underbelly.
Damn, the solver had the right idea.
She quickly falls asleep, dreaming of J’s irritated screams and children that look a lot like little purple N’s.
(Bruh, I wanted to draw a quick picture of Uzi nomming J’s head and ended up spending hours on it instead. It’s not even that good. I just wanted it to be cute and it SUCKS.)