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Tav trudged further along the path, shaking off the viscera from their sword. Yesterday if you would have told them they would be fighting brains with legs they would have called you insane. That was before they were taken by mind flayers and had tadpole crawl into their eye. Strange day indeed.
“There’s someone up ahead, maybe another survivor.” Shadowheart nodded in the figured direction. So far they had found two other survivors of the mind flayer crash. Shadowheart who they had rescued on the ship, and Gale who the pulled out of a portal. With the predicament they were in, they could use all the allies they could get.
As they started to approach the figure it was like Tav was thrown back in time. They knew that silver hair anywhere.
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Tav sat on the lower city central wall, watching their parents perform in the town square. Their parents were traveling bards and that meant wherever they went, so did little Tav. They were only seven years old and this was already their third town. A bard's life of travel was exciting, but also didn’t leave much room for stability.
So far they were enjoying the show when they were approached by a guard. “Off the wall!” The guard ordered roughly. Tav’s arm was grabbed as they apparently were moving too slow and were practically dragged off the wall and away. “Keep it moving!” The guard ordered, shoving Tav away and causing them to stumble.
Tav grumbled, dusting themself off and rubbing their arm. Was that really necessary? “You must be new here.” A voice commented dry behind them. Tav whirled around, coming face to face with a boy their age.
“Everyone in Baldur’s Gate knows to stay away from the palace. Which means you’re not from here are you?” The elven boy asked. Tav noticed he was a high elf, likely a moon elf if his silver hair gave them any clue.
“No, I just got in town yesterday. My parents are traveling bards.” Tav said, nodding towards their parents performing for a crowd. “My name is Tav.”
The boy made a bit of a face, but shook his head. “Astarion. If you’re looking for a quiet place to sit where the guards won’t threaten you I can show you.” Astarion offered.
Tav smiled and nodded, following after the boy. They gave a quick nod to their parents, catching their father’s eye before slipping behind the wall. There was a park on the other side, seeming to bustle with life as well.
There was a small alcove between the wall and a line of bushes. The entrance to it was a small gap in the bushes, barely big enough for a child to fit through.
“There in the grass. Can you see it?” Astarion pointed out.
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“There in the grass. You can kill it can’t you? Like you killed the others?” The elven man in front of them asked. Tav had been zoned out at the beginning so they had missed him saying what exactly he saw.
“Um, easily. Stand back.” Tav nodded, walking forward. It couldn’t possibly be their old friend. Maybe the tadpole was messing with their mind again.
“There can you see it?” The man pointed towards a bush. A moment later a boar came charging out, running away from their little group. Tav nearly felt relieved that it wasn’t one of those brain things. That is until Tav ended up on the ground with a dagger at their neck.
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Tav landed on the ground with a grunt, a dagger to their throat. “And just like that I win again.” Astarion smirked, having Tav pinned with a dagger.
“Oh do you?” Tav asked. In a flash they grabbed his knife arm and twisted, rolling out of the pin. They grabbed their own practice sword, a gleeful smile on their face.
“I seem to have underestimated you. My apologies.” Astarion grinned and lunged at them, continuing their practice fight. They had outgrown their little clearing hideout, but found a nice space by the waterfall to make their own.
They were now eleven, making this the longest time they stayed in a single city. Unfortunately it was coming to an end. Tomorrow their parents were traveling to Waterdeep to find new work contracts. That meant that Tav was leaving the city and their best friend behind.
They soon grew tired of sparing and sat together behind the waterfall. Silence fell between them. Usually it would be comfortable, but the weight of Tav’s inevitable departure hung heavy between them.
“Are you sure you have to go?” Astarion asked softly, finally breaking the silence. Tav nodded slightly, leaning their head against his shoulder.
“I’m gonna miss you.” Tav whispered, wrapping their arms around him. Astarion easily reciprocated the gesture. “I’m going to miss you too.” Astarion sighed.
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“Shh, not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” He warned, “And you, keep your distance. No need for this to get messy.”
“I need them alive. Stow that blade or I’ll show you just how messy things can get.” Shadowheart glared. They didn’t know why Shadowheart needed them alive, but at least someone was on their side right now.
“Ah ha! Promises. Promises. But I have other business I’m afraid.” He smirked before turning his eyes back to Tav, “Now I saw you on the ship didn’t I? Nod.”
Tav stared into those red eyes. This couldn’t be their Astarion. They saw his grave almost two hundred years ago. They visited and laid a flower upon it every time they were in Baldur’s Gate. This couldn’t be him. Their friend was dead.
They slowly nodded, making sure to not get too close to the blade. “Splendid, and now you’re going to tell me exactly what you and those tentacled freaks did to me.” The man demanded, gaze sharpening.
Tav tried to push the blade further away, but he was stronger than them. “You have it backwards. They took me prisoner, just like you.” Tav insisted, grunting with the effort of fighting.
“Don’t lie to me I-argh!” He cried out in pain. Tav cried out as well as their minds were suddenly connected. They tried to focus on what they were seeing with their mind, but their eyes saw something much more interesting.
Fangs as the man cried out. There was no mistaking what those fangs were a symptom of. That would explain the red eyes combined with that silver hair they knew so well. Could this really be their old friend?
Convincing him to let them up was easier now that he had seen through their eyes. “And to think I was about to decorate the ground with your innards. Apologies.” He chuckled like holding a blade to another’s neck was a normal greeting. In these strange times maybe it was.
“Apology accepted.” Tav nodded. Their eyes analyzed every detail they could. So much had changed yet so much was the same. The silver hair, the pale skin, even the way he gripped the dagger was the same.
“I’m out of wine and flowers so I hope an introduction will suffice. My name’s Astarion. I was in Baldur’s Gate when those beasts snatched me.” Astarion huffed. His disgust for the mind flayers was clear on his face and in his voice. A valid disgust given when they just lived through.
“I’m Tav. I’ve traveled all over, but I was in Yartar when I was taken.” Tav explained. They didn’t see any recognition at their name from Astarion, taking away some hope.
“My my, you’ve been busy.” Astarion noted
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“My my, you’ve been busy.” A voice purred behind Tav. They spun around and let out an excited gasp. “Astarion!” Tav smiled, launching themself at their old friend.
Astarion chuckled, hugging them back. “It was only a matter of time before your parents put you to work.” Astarion smirked, letting go of them to look them over.
Tav laughed and shook their head. “They didn’t put me to work, I chose to play with them.” Tav corrected, showing off their lute. They hadn’t decided if they were going to pursue being a full time bard or not, but might as well play while they figure it out.
They were nineteen and still traveling with their parents. Sure they could have gone on their own and settled somewhere, but they were so used to traveling. Their life was on the road. Staying in one place for long had them feeling wanderlust.
They sat together in a tavern, talking and catching up the entire night. They weren’t sure how long they were staying this time, but maybe they wouldn’t mind an extended stay. A friendly face was always nice, especially Astarion’s.
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“So did you learn anything about these worms wandering the ship?” Astarion asked, finally pocketing the blade.
“Yes, unfortunately. They’ll turn us into mind flayers.” Tav sighed, glancing at Gale. They almost wished they were as oblivious as they had been before Gale explained their fate.
“Turn us intoo…ha. Hahaha! Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?” Astarion huffed bitterly. He seemed to be taking their fate about as well as the rest of them. “Although it hasn't happened yet. If we can find an expert, someone that can control these things, there might still be time.” He said hopefully.
“You should travel with me. Our odds are better together.” Tav offered. Their odds were not the only reason they wanted Astarion to join them. They had to know if it was really him.
“You know, I was ready to go this alone, but maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.” Astarion pondered, looking at Tav. He only seemed to consider it for a moment. “And you seem like a useful person to know. All right, I accept. Lead on.” He nodded with a slight bow.
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“You should travel with me.” Tav said softly. They were looking out over the view of the upper city from Astarion’s balcony.
They were thirty eight now. Over the years they had traveled to Baldur’s Gate on occasion, both for work and fun, always making sure to see Astarion. Each time they only stayed for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, before leaving. Staying in one place was too uncomfortable, no matter how much they wanted to keep the same company.
“Darling, I’m a magistrate of Baldur’s Gate. Why would I leave such a position of power?” Astarion scoffed. As much as he would love to keep Tav in his life, they were the ones who kept leaving. Always leaving him for some adventure. Why would he prioritize someone like that over his life here?
He glanced at Tav and was reminded of all the reasons why he would. Tav, their best friend since childhood. A child who helped him indulge in his more lower class urges such as getting dirty and actually being a child. A teen who was all too eager to steal some Ithbank and get drunk on the roof of The Water Queen’s House. An adult who would happily let him explore their body. A person who truly saw Astarion.
He sighed and sipped his glass of wine. “Come back in a year and I’ll go with you. There’s a case I am working on in the shadows that I can’t abandon. I’ve almost got all the evidence I need to nail the Gur. Just give me time and I’ll go with you.” Astarion promised softly.
Tav smiled warmly. “For you I would give you all the time in the world.” Tav whispered. They kissed his cheek before stepping away from the balcony to refill their wine.
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Tav sat back as they finished setting up their tent for the night. Today had been an eventful day and they were bone tired. As if the mind flayer fiasco wasn’t enough they also had to fight some goblins who were trying to break into the druids grove. At least they now knew where they were, recognizing the druid grove from their travels about a hundred years ago. If anyone could help them with a cure, it would be the druids.
They had also managed to find another survivor of the crash, Wyll, and the Githyanki from the nautiloid, Lae’zel. So far this brought their total to 6. Tav, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae’zel, Wyll, and…Astarion.
They looked over at his tent, biting their lip. Their mind was still consumed with the possibility of this being their Astarion. They had visited his grave plenty of times, but it seemed that here he was. Alive. Well maybe not alive if the red eyed and fangs gave them any clue as to how this was possible.
They slowly stood up and took a moment to steel their nerves. They had to know. No more wondering. They were going to find the truth. Tav took a deep breath and approached Astarion’s tent.
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Tav took a deep breath and approached Astarion’s grave. It had been a year since that promise on the balcony. They had come back, holding up their end of the deal. It seemed that Astarion couldn’t hold up his end though.
“You bastard. You promised you would come with me…” Tav sobbed quietly. Their tears flowed like a river, unstoppable and threatening to drown them in grief.
They had been so excited to arrive in Baldur’s Gate. They had rushed through the streets to Astarion’s home, only to find it occupied by someone else. He moved, no big deal. They would find him at the Magistrate’s Offices. When they asked for him there, that's when their whole world fell apart.
“I know we said a year, but I should have come a few months earlier. Maybe I could have saved you.” Tav sniffled. They placed a single grass lily upon his grave. “I’m so sorry Astarion…”
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“Astarion.” Tav said softly as they approached his tent. They were nervous but if they were right it was going to be the best day of their life.
“Well hello what can I do for you?” Astarion greeted before seeing the serious expression on Tav’s face. “You’re serious. Gods above…” Astarion sighed, sensing this was a topic he would rather not discuss.
“Do you remember me?” Tav asked, ripping the band aid off. Astarion laughed, not taking the situation as serious as they had hoped.
“We just set up camp not more than an hour ago. Considering we had been together all day until then I would say that yes I do remember you. Perhaps the tadpole has started to eat your brain.” Astarion scoffed.
Tav shook their head and looked at him. “No, from before today.” Tav clarified, still not deterred from knowing the truth.
Astarion watched them carefully for a moment. They hadn’t been one of his targets so perhaps someone who flirted with him after already having selected a target? “Remind me of the last time you saw me. I meet a lot of people.” Astarion said, an air of nonchalance around him.
“Two hundred and one years ago.” Tav said honestly. Astarion froze in place. This hadn’t been a target. Hadn’t been someone looking for a pretty elf to spend the night with. No, they knew Astarion before his life went to shit.
“I think this warrants a more private discussion.” Astarion said before walking off into the woods. Tav had no choice but to follow. Not that they would have refused. They could never refuse him.
Astarion started to look slightly panicked, his perfect mask slipping. In the span of a day his life had been turned upside down twice. Which frankly was impressive after two hundred years of the same torment.
“Do you remember me?” Tav asked again. Their own false confidence was slipping as this time the question was more of a plea.
Astarion slowly shook his head. “No. I don’t remember much before…” Astarion trailed off. He didn’t want to admit he was a vampire, certain he would be staked.
“Before you were turned into a vampire.” Tav finished to Astarion's complete bewilderment. He seemed to be confused about how they could possibly know. “Turns out that you open your mouth wide when you cry out in pain. Makes the fangs kind of obvious.” They shrugged.
“Right. Well. Glad we got that out of the way.” Astarion nodded. Silence hung between them. Not so different from the silence the first time they had left him. This time it was Tav who broke the silence
“Do you remember anything from before?” Tav asked. They slowly sat down, leaning against a tree. It took a moment but eventually Astarion joined them, sitting perpendicular. Under the waterfall they had sat together, looking forward to a future where they would reunite. Now as Tav glanced at Astarion they realized they had started to look at different futures long ago.
“I was a magistrate, working to keep the peace in Baldur’s Gate. Imprisoning trouble makers, that kind of thing. I can’t remember much, truth be told. Centuries of torment will do that to you.” Astarion sounded aloof, but there was an undercurrent of sadness to his words.
“How were you turned?” Tav asked after a moment. They had never learned how Astarion died, too in shock to ask when they first found out. After that, it was something they were afraid to know. It’s as if knowing would have lead to reasons they should have saved him.
“I was attacked. A gang of vagrants, a tribe of wandering 'Gur', took issue with a ruling I'd made.” Astarion sneered like just saying Gur out a sour taste in his mouth. “They beat me to death's door when Cazador appeared. He chased them off and offered to save me. To give me eternal life.” He laughed bitterly. He had every right to be bitter.
“Given that my choices were 'eternal life' or 'bleed to death on the street', I took him up on the offer. It was only afterwards I realised just how long 'eternity' could be.” He whispered, hints of regret in his voice. Would he have chosen this life over death had he been given the choice again? He didn’t want to die, but sometimes his life was worse than death.
“I visited your grave every time I was in town. I always placed a grass lily on it. I guess it was fitting.” Tav admitted causing Astarion to huff. The irony of a grass lily meaning rebirth wasn’t lost on either of them. They glanced over at him, just watching his profile.
“Looking at something?” Astarion asked, raising an eyebrow. He was used to people looking at him, but from them it felt different.
“Just looking. Not too different from what I remember.” Tav noted. They guessed it wasn’t too surprising since he was only turned at thirty nine. “Do you miss seeing yourself?”
“Preening in the looking glass? Petty vanity? Of course I miss it. I've never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red.” Astarion admitted bitterly. He looked to the sky as if it would hold the answers to his questions. “I can’t even recall their previous color. My face is just some dark shape in my past. Another thing I've lost.” Astarion frowned.
Silence fell between them again. Tav mourned not only what they had lost, but also all that Astarion had lost. They had grown into different people over the last two hundred years, but these tadpoles brought them back together. Perhaps now was their chance to finally realign.
“You have nothing to worry about, it’s a very good face.” Tav smiled softly. They stared into his eyes and took in every detail.
“Is it? What do you see when you look at me?” Astarion asked. In his voice they could hear the quiet plea to return what he had lost. They could not only see him now, but also who he was.
“The creases when you laugh.” Tav recalled. He had the same creases the night they shared a bottle of wine on his balcony, laughing the night away.
“Excuse me? I’m an eternally young vampire, not your doting grandmother.” Astarion scoffed. He looked at them coyly with a small smirk. “You can do better, what else?” He was craving the attention and compliments and Tav was all too happy to give them.
“The way your hair curls around your ears.” Tav chuckled. If he was still the same then they knew that wasn’t the compliments he was looking for.
“This is meant to be flattery, not poetry. Just tell me I’m beautiful and we can call it a day.” Astarion sighed, rolling his eyes. Teasing him was getting the same reactions it did back then.
“You’re pretty good. Not Gale good, but pretty good.” Tav smirked, even giving him a wink.
“How dare you! I thought we had something special.” Astarion gasped in mock offense. “Still. You're nice too.” His mask perfectly in place with a smile. He was still uncomfortable with being this vulnerable with anyone.
“I'd better get some beauty sleep. It seems I need it if I'm to catch up with the competition.” He smirked and stood up to leave. He only made it a few steps before Tav spoke up again.
“Blue…” Tav said softly. They were barely loud enough to be heard over the sounds of the forest, but the sound rang in Astarion’s ears.
“What?” He asked, not daring to speak the connection without confirmation.
“Your eyes. They were blue with gold flecks. I could never forget them.” Tav explained. They watched Astarion, and for once he felt like someone truly saw him. With a nod he disappeared into the night, finally having a part of himself back.