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No matter where your hooded eyes seemed to wander, a dreary grey would always catch your view. Clouds overhead grew darker by the second, and a downpour of rain had soon followed throughout the neighborhood. Like tiny pellets smacking at your skin, fragments of ice-cold droplets beat down on your trembling stature, drenching you in tearful mourning. You bore a heaviness in your heart like no other that day, and like all things in life, the world around you seemed to imitate your likeness.
The frigid winds of the outside had rendered your body numb. By the time you had arrived at your doorstep, all feeling in your feet seized to exist. Your mind was a static haze, wordless and without sound. Everything you’d ever known had slowly begun to lose it’s meaning, it’s reasoning. Like color melting off the walls, bleeding into an ombré of monochrome black, your thoughts and their entirety had come to a halt, and the only thing you wanted was to be alone.
Shutting the door to your room, you dropped your bag and weakly crawled into bed, not bothering with the light switch. Burying yourself under your blankets, you slowly surrounded yourself in makeshift comfort, drifting into a melancholic sleep in hopes of forgetting for a while.
A few knocks on the front door were sure to stir you awake, dragging you back into the reality you so desperately tried to escape. Catching a glimpse of the clock, you noted the hour or so that had passed since you’d blacked out, pushing it to the back of your mind shortly after.
Groggily slipping out of bed, you trudged over to the door and started down the stairs, not bothering to fix your messy hair in the slightest. You hadn’t been expecting any guests, so all you could do was take a few guesses at who it could be. You really weren’t in the mood to see or speak with anyone, so a large part of you silently hoped it was just the mailman in need of a signature for an eBay package.
Fidgeting with the chain lock, you lazily turned the brass-plated doorknob, cracking the door open and steeling yourself for whoever was behind it. Sadly, nothing in the world could have prepared you for the person standing on your porch.
“Kevin….” You found yourself murmuring softly, eyes trembling as that all too familiar tingling came rising up again around your tear ducts. It had been a while since you’d seen him last. The thought of him emerged every now and again, empty silence replacing his absence. You hadn’t realized just how much you’d missed him until the ache in your chest returned, the sight of him only adding to the rollercoaster of emotions that had been consuming you all day. Next thing you knew, tears were flooding down your cheeks all over again.
Kevin stood before you rather appalled. Arching a brow, he glanced left and right, unsure of what to do. Had his appearance upset you? Glancing at his clothes, he didn’t note anything too unusual. Before he knew what was happening, you both were sat on the couch shoulder to shoulder.
Kevin sat beside you, listening to you as you blubbered and ranted all about the day you had. He tried his best not to space out since he was mildly cranked off of rye, and nodded every time you finished a point. He wasn’t very good with handling the emotions of others, let alone his own, but you were a good friend of his and supplied him cough syrup and smokes, so he tried to think up some ways to get you to stop crying.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for his brain to fry up since he usually avoided thinking too much or too deeply. Stealing a glance at your puffy nose and glossy eyes, he began to feel that weird flutter in his stomach he usually got when he was nervous, his heart gaining an odd sense of weight to it. It only grew worse when you began to mention how much you’d missed him.
Forcing himself to conjure up ideas, he thought about things that made girls happy. Though much to his dismay, the only thing that came to mind were things he’d seen in adult films or television. Shaking his head, he decided to give you a gift, that outta get you back to normal. Digging in his back pocket, he pulled out his box of cigarettes and handed you one. Kevin hated sharing his smokes, and almost never did, so the gesture spoke volumes in his head.
Eyeing the cigarette in his hand, you blinked at it a moment, both your tears and words coming to a slow halt as intrigue and confusion took over. Glimpsing between him and the stick, you reluctantly but politely began shaking your head no. Kevin was annoyed at first, but figuring that it was better for him since it meant keeping one extra cig, he shrugged it off and got back to pondering.
Eventually, on impulse, Kevin reached out for your face, wiping away a few stray tears with his thumb. His touch was careful, delicate, as if he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you. He couldn’t stand to see you cry any longer and figured he’d better set things straight, and fast. His sudden contact had caught you off guard a moment, a hint of puzzlement scrunching up in your eyes. Kevin’s hand softly rested against your upper cheek a while, his eyes locked onto yours. He garnered a certain kind of worry he seldom expressed to anyone else. With a sudden sigh of defeat, he shook his head and slipped his hand from your face. Drawing near, he carefully wrapped his arms around you, closing the distance and pulling you into a protective hold. A light red dusted his cheeks as he furrowed his brows. Not even a second had passed and he was already embarrassed.
You were stunned for a few seconds, eyes growing wide in surprise as you felt his arms around your waist. Your heart seized its beating motions for what felt like eternity, your breath caught in your throat. Your ears grew so hot to the point where you were convinced the skin would melt off, and every tear that once threatened to slip away merely evaporated into thin air until you inevitably succumbed to the peace his grasp provided you. It wasn’t long before you sunk into him, nose buried in the shoulder of his old orange pullover. It smelled of cigarettes and smoke, a scent you knew all too well. Over time, it served to give you more comfort than anything else. Slipping arms around his torso, you reciprocated his gesture, pulling him as close as humanly possible as your fingers gripped onto the fabric covering his back.
A few more tears escaped your sapped eyes, staining Kevin’s shirt more than he would have liked. Deadpanning slightly, he tried his hardest to tolerate your crying, rubbing up and down your back a few times in hopes that you’d finally calm down. Fortunately for him, he got exactly that. His touch eventually coaxed you into a state of stillness and gentle ease, your chest rising and falling in slow breaths with the exception of a shaky inhale or two. You rested against him a while, thoughts mindlessly floating around like a leaf drifting up a light stream, your muscles relaxing into him as though you’d both sink into each other and become one.
It was odd, feeling him hold you like this. Kevin was the last person you’d ever imagine comforting you. He was usually the type to sit and stare, tend to his own devices and wait it out. You’d supposed you never truly knew how much he cared for you until this very moment. A subtle smile grazed your lips, a soothing warmth spreading throughout your body. Holding him a little tighter, your half-lidded eyes panned over to nothing in particular, idle memories, questions, and notions making rounds in your contemplative mind. You couldn’t imagine a world without him.
Kevin noted your increased grip, his essence stiffening instinctively before relaxing once more. He wasn’t a sentimental guy, he never was. All his life, he was the freak who couldn’t comprehend natural human emotions the way his peers did, yet when he was with you, he found himself feeling in his own strange way. Was it happiness? Love? It was a question he himself wasn’t able to answer, no matter how hard he pushed himself to think about it. It frustrated him to no ends, yet he never gave up on it. While he’d be quick to dismiss anything else, something in his being convinced him that this was important. This emotion, if you could even call it that, he had to figure it out.
Mindlessly toying with your hair, he ran his fingers down to the ends, combing through the strands in absentminded motions. He was lost in thought, trying to get himself together. You on the other hand were practically being lulled to sleep without even knowing. All the crying had worn you out, and the free head massage wasn’t helping either. Before you could doze off, though, the sound of Kevin’s voiced rumbled through your body, jolting you awake. He asked if you felt any better, to which you simply nodded.
The two of you held a comfortable silence for quite a while, both lost in your own world. Before long, you found yourself resting over his chest as he kicked back against the arm of the couch, lazing the entirety of his body over the cushions. Your cheek pressed against his shirt, an arm dangling off the edge as you both stared at the TV. It had gotten a little too silent, and since having a mildly low attention span was a trait you both shared, it only made sense to move on to the next best thing; binging. Besides, it helped aid your mind and distracted you from dwelling on your awful morning.
As scenes flashed on screen, a part of you couldn’t help but get caught up in counting his heartbeats as they pounded against your ear. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…., you’d whisper in your mind, catching a glimpse of his relaxed yet bored expression. His hand casually laid over your lower back, his free hand resting behind his head. By that point, nothing else mattered to you anymore. You had returned to the present moment, engulfed by the warmth you both shared. As the sun began to set in the distant horizon, you couldn’t help but mull over that look, those eyes. Even now, you could still feel the skin of his thumb brush against your tear-stained eyes. Knowing Kevin for so long, it truly did leave you feeling perplexed seeing as he rarely displayed any acts of service unless it was for himself. Shutting your fatigue-ridden eyes, you switched your focus on appreciating his efforts rather than questioning his kindness. Besides, it was a nice change of pace. Smiling a close-lipped smile, you shifted your gaze onto the television, wondering if maybe this was the first of many tender moments to come between you both.