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—dead of winter—
Whiteness all around—
The dead of winter—
—and Kakashi is dead, or soon to be.
The thought flickered through his mind.
And betrayal.
—mission, mission—
“I failed the mission.”
Although—
ANBU Hound failed because ANBU betrayed Hound.
ANBU betrayed Hound, and there was no way at the end of the day for the Hokage to know.
ANBU betraying Hound on a mission meant betrayal of the Hokage.
—not the usual team—
Didn ’t know those ANBU.
“Cold, so cold.”
—remember, remember—
“Failed the mission.”
—and—
“Sorry, so sorry.”
Kakashi always apologized.
Hound always apologized.
—remember, remember—
“Where did the mission go wrong?”
“Open your eyes.”
—sweet, sweet voice of Rin—
“Open your eyes, Kakashi!”
Eyes blinked open, snow on his eyelashes, as Kakashi greeted an angel of death he didn ’t deserve to meet. And yet, in the coldness, he welcomed her, welcoming, “Rin.”
The word croaked out, as she frowned. Rin rarely frowned, at least at him. Most of her frowns were reserved for Obito.
“’ M Sorry. ‘M so sorry.”
“Hey. Don’t.”
“I key…”
—eyes crossed as the angel placed a finger to his mouth.
And he stopped speaking, stopped saying he killed her.
“Don’t. It’s not your fault. It isn’t your fault. You didn’t kill me.”
“Did.”
“Didn’t.”
“Rin?”
“Yes?”
—pressure against—
—remember, remember—
“Love ya.”
“Don’t die, you idiot!”
“Wanna,” Kakashi, or maybe Hound, “Rin. Be with Rin.”
“You’re with me. Stay with me.”
—fading, fading so fast, so cold and so fast—
It was—
Then, nothing.
…
—warmth—
Aches and pains, plus a body not wanting to wake, to move, likely because—
There was a name for the condition, one that escaped Kakashi ’s mind as he lay there, one his aunty Tsunade would lecture him to hell and back about forgetting.
—already in hell, already dead, right—
Except—
“…lucky to be alive. If we hadn’t come along…”
Hound did not recognize the voice.
Hound was glad not to recognize the voice.
Hound was glad because—
—mission, mission failed—
—mission failed, because—
Bad ANBU. Strange ANBU. ANBU Hound did not know. ANBU fakes. ANBU traitors. Traitors to the Hokage.
“Need to wake up.”
But he couldn ’t.
“He’s so small!”
A woman spoke.
He felt—
Her fingers brushed against his chin, across the mole on his chin.
“You can’t keep him, Mei.”
“Why? I’m scum.”
“The pouting won’t hurt.”
—something, something—
—lilt of voice sounding like Rin, calming—
“Really?” the woman said, but then, “But he’s so small! So tiny!”
—something, something about him being ANBU, something about him being Konoha—
Because—
“Will you be fine with this mission, given you’ll be dealing with shinobi from the village hidden in the Mist?”
Fine for the mission, but the fake ANBU wanted to use him. His face scrunched up, trying to remember like he ’d remembered the Hokage’s question.
—important, it’s important—
—fragmented thoughts—
“Something?” he thought, face scrunching.
“Shush, shush,” the woman said, moving her hand from his chin to his ear, stroking, humming some lullaby. “Rest now. We’ll get you home soon.”
—something mentioned about escort—
“Escort mission. Failed?”
—something about where the rest of the scort was
—traitors—
—whispering, dog-like whimper—
“Shush.”
“That coming from him?”
“Can’t tell the males apart. Second female?”
Second female, like Rin, noting—
Gently lifted, head resting against a woman ’s shoulder.
—some form of disbelief that something would work—
“You can tell me, sweet puppy.”
Hound given command. Hound barked on command. Hound barked, babble. Hound couldn ’t process.
—they couldn’t process—
Not the right way.
But—
—traitor—
Strangers from the mist got there were traitors.
A sigh. “Mizukage? Should we still go?”
“This child needs to be brought home,” came the reply. “But if we approach openly?”
“I’ll handle it,” the woman said. “He’s very light, wait.”
“Shouldn’t be,” non-Mizukage said.
Something about keeping an eye out for trouble.
ANBU not to be trusted.
Hound couldn ’t do anything.
ANBU Hound was betrayed by ANBU. Fake ANBU betrayed ANBU Hound.
ANBU Hound—
Hound out cold, as cold as he had been, before—
Before?
…
—whispers—
His own whimper.
—hospital smells—
“Confused.”
Home?
“Confused.”
Home safe?
“Confused.”
ANBU—
—ANBU, ANBU—
ANBU at home—
“Not safe!”
—whispers—
—held down—
His own whimper.
His own screaming.
Hound howled.
Hound seized.
Hound was no more in the world.
The world went blank.
The world went blank again.
…
—beeping—
Hound ’s eyelids felt heavy.
Hound let out a growl, someone ’s fingers…
“Shush, shush now, puppy.”
—relaxed—
Fingers gently brushed away locks of hair from his forehead, gently caressing his cheek and—
“Mask,” Hound managed to croak out as fingers brushed against the mole on his face.
“Can you be my little brother, sweetheart?”
Hound—
—no—
Kakashi ’s eyes opened, a struggle against the light and a headache.
“Who?”
“I’m Te…”
“Kushina-nee?”
The woman swooned, acting in a manner entirely different from Uzumaki Kushina. “So adorable! I’d hug you if you weren’t in a hospital bed resting.”
Kakashi frowned.
“To answer your question…”
“She’s dressed differently than Kushina-nee, too.”
“Is that meant as a compliment?”
“No.”
“Meanie,” the woman pouted. “I’m Terumi Mei, one of the Mizukage’s escorts. He needed to speak to your Hokage, remember?”
“Escort mission,” Kakashi said, then. He stiffened. Eyes slid down to his arms, and he let out a hiss.
“Yeah. I asked about that. Apparently, you’re listed by the Konoha hospital as a flight risk?” Mei said, leaning into her chin. “You should show your face more.”
“Huh?” Kakashi glared at her.
“I overheard some of the villagers when I brought you home.”
Kakashi felt the corner of his mouth twitch and looked away.
“They would rather make it not feel like home, huh?”
“None of her businesses.”
“Maybe. Maybe it is.”
Kakashi sighed, finding her annoying.
“Just, maybe if they saw that adorable face, they’d be less likely to, well, you know.”
“Doubt it.”
“You didn’t kill Rin.”
Kakashi—
He wanted to gag.
—hearing that from a shinobi from the Hidden Mist.
—the rambling—
“Oh. No. Well, yes?” Mei said. “When I say you didn’t, well, it’s not something you can claim if the person is, you know, not dead.”
—eyes blinked—
Then—
—whimper—
His face flushed red, flickers of memories …
“Not how you wanted to confess how you felt, huh?”
He looked away.
“She’d be here, but…”
Kakashi ’s eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t protect her.”
“Oh! No. Not,” Mei sighed. “She said something about you being a bit of a downer on yourself. She’s with her clan because she had to, at some point, reintroduce herself. She’d held off for a few days, didn’t want to go until you woke, but, well, clan politics, right?”
“Wouldn’t know,” Kakashi muttered.
“Aren’t you, like, the head of your clan?”
Kakashi frowned. “I guess?”
“You guess?”
“A clan of one?” Which wasn’t quite true, as there was Jiriya, but his father’s younger brother was never around, and—
“Really?”
His eyes closed, thinking. “Something about being too young?”
“Oh! You’ve an acting head then?”
“I guess?” Kakashi frowned. “Hokage said not to worry.”
“Lord Third?”
“Lord Fourth.”
“Huh. I think I’ll ask about this.”
“It’s not…”
“You’re Rin-chan’s special someone,” Mei said. “And if Rin hadn’t been there. If we hadn’t brought her home…”
“What?”
“Let’s just say things would have likely turned out very differently back home, but…” Mei paused. “We heard about you, Lord Fourth.”
Kakashi ’s eyes closed.
“Yeah. Rin’s sensei. Yours too.”
“More than that.”
“Anyways,” Mei said. “We came with information regarding who was responsible for that night.”
“What?” Kakashi looked at her. “Who?”
“Not for you to worry about,” Mei said.
“No. It…”
“People are handling that, puppy.” She clapped her hands. “Oh! The head of the Uchiha clan. He said something about representing both his clan and you in the matter.” Then, “It kind of is a clan matter, no?”
Kakashi stiffened. “ Because it was a Uchiha. Everyone knows it was a Uchiha, but … ”
“Anyways. This is, from what I understand, a relief to the village, and oh so complicated, pup,” Mei said. And a lot to take in, so for now, focus on resting. And waiting for Rin to see you! Bet she brings adorable you something nice!”
The implications, the fact she heard his confession—
Kakashi ’s face turned red.
He wished he could bury his face.
And—
“Mask?”
“Why would you want to hide that adorable face?”
“Smells. Hospitals smell.”
“Oh! Poor thing!”
Kakashi ’s eye twitched.
Hound found Mei very, very annoying.