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The blue food dye sits innocently on the kitchen counter along with several other ingredients. Flour. Sugar. Butter. Chocolate Chips. Vanilla Extract. And more. The usual arrangement of ingredients that compound a chocolate chip cookie. All these ingredients with the addition of a small bottle of blue food dye.
Sally hums a familiar tune to herself as she mixes the ingredients together in a large bowl watching the thick dough morph from a tannish hue to one of bright blue.
Blue chocolate chip cookies. Made possible by two drops of blue food dye.
It might seem silly to some. To turn something like chocolate chip cookies the color blue. But to Sally it’s not silly. Not silly in the slightest.
For the blue food dye sitting on her kitchen counter serves more than anything to remind her of who she is.
The words ring in Sally’s head as she ceases her stirring and sets the mixing bowl down on the counter. She grabs a baking pan from out of the drawer at the bottom of the oven, which is already pre-heated to 375 degrees, and sets it next to the bowl on the counter. With warm but roughened hands she begins to roll the dough into cookies, two tablespoons at a time.
Yes, the words never leave her. Every time she bakes these blue cookies, bakes blueberry muffins, goes out of her way to buy Percy blue candy on the way home from school, cooks blue corn as a side for dinner, buys blue jello cups from the grocery shop to pack in Percy’s lunchbox, all of it. Every time she incorporates the concept his words ring in her ears.
“There’s no such thing as blue food!”
It was a stupid statement. Just like him. Stupid.
Sally rolls the cookie dough in her hands a little harsher than necessary as his slimy voice fills her mind. Her lips twitch ever so slightly showing her displeasure as her eyes flash with contempt.
Of course there’s such a thing as blue food! Both naturally occurring and artificial! How could there not be blue food!
Blueberries. Blue cornmeal. Blue potatoes. Blue carrots. Blue tomatoes. Concord Grapes. Blue Cheese. Elderberries. Blackberries. Lobsters!
Not to mention all the food made blue by dyes!
Sally’s eyebrows crinkle together as she barely refrains from grinding her teeth as her irritation flares like a growing flame threatening to consume all in its glory.
Unfortunately, these things are not the only blue in her life. Sally glances at her wrist which is splattered with blue and yellow bruises.
Yes, not the only blue by far. But the blue she does choose to incorporate will always defy him. The blue food. The blue ocean they see as she continues to take Percy to see the shore no matter how many times Gabe groans and complains about it as a waste of time and gas money.
The monster in her life will never ruin the color blue for her. But she’ll ruin it for him.
Sally’s fingers ease in their deft as she continues filling the baking sheet pan. The tension in her face eases as well.
Blue was his color too. Sally falters momentarily as eyes that dance between deep blue and tide pool green seem to stare into her soul. Eyes on a tanned face that is outlined by dark curly hair.
She shakes the gaze off with a small frown on her face before shouldering onward. Allowing the yearning inside her to dissipate till its nothing but a whisper. A whisper that seems to never fade to pure silence.
Yes, blue was his color. Blue is Percy’s color. Blue is her color. Blue is her resistance. Their shared resistance.
Blue is her way to tell Percy it’ll be okay.
Blue is her way to say yes not everything is in our control but that doesn’t mean we cannot still fight in the face of it. The world is not doomed.
The situation may be dire. But blue is hope. And hope never dies. Just like how Sally will never stop going out of her way to shove the reality of blue food in Gabe Ugliano’s face. That what he thinks is impossible is possible.
He does not hold the power. She does.
She can fight back. Effortlessly.
Sally smiles to herself as she licks a piece of dough off her thumb enjoying the way the salty yet sweet flavors dance in her mouth.
She strides over to the oven, opens the oven door, and places the first dozen cookies into the oven to bake for nine minutes.
Her eyes dazzle with brilliance as she closes the oven door and sets the kitchen timer.
Sally glances towards the clock on the wall and smiles. By the time the first of the cookies should be done Percy will be getting off the school bus.
Sally closes her eyes and lets the stress seep out ever so slightly from her body. The stress of working two jobs. The stress of going to school at night. The stress of raising a child alone. A child who will always face danger. From more than one world.
Her poor baby that does his best. Who does everything in his power to make her smile. Who tries to hide his own anguish to relieve her of any worry. But Sally sees it all the same. Sally sees how he struggles. She sees it in how he never likes to talk about the other kids. In the complaints from the teachers and school administration. In how Percy’s head jerks up ever so slightly any time the word father is brought up.
She sees it all. But she knows just as she knows she will forever love him more than anything, that Percy will never give up. He is his mother’s child. He will fight in the face of hardship. He will fight for those he loves.
This, she knows.
The front door knob jiggles, snagging her attention, and Sally’s heart soars with affection.
As the door opens to reveal wide sea green eyes that light up with wonder, love, and awe as soon as they land on her, at the same time as the kitchen timer rings, Sally knows she’s doing everything she can. And maybe, she assures herself, she’s doing something right.
His childish hopeful excited voice completely drowns out the slimy one that had taken hold over her mind moments prior.
“Are you making cookies!”
Sally winks at Percy as he bounds over to the kitchen area, “Blue ones, of course.”
They laugh together in the face of it all. Voices mingling into a beautiful defiant vibrant chorus. Allowing their love for each other to shine brighter than any obstacle thrown their way.
All as the blue cookies rise in the oven. A symbol of Percy and Sally Jackson’s resistance.
Their resistance. Their hope. And their love.
Blue.