Chapter Text
Inside the stone chapel of Welton Academy, a private school nestled in the remote hills of Vermont, more than three hundred boys, all wearing the academy blazer, sat on either side of the long aisle, surrounded by proud-faced parents, and waited.
They heard the reverberations of the bagpipes as a short, elderly man swathed in flowing robes lit a candle and led a procession of students carrying banners, robed teachers, and alumnae down a long slate hallway into the venerable chapel.
The four boys who carried banners marched solemnly to the dais, followed slowly by the elderly men, the last of whom proudly carried the lighted candle. Headmaster Gale Nolan, a husky man in his early sixties, stood at the podium watching expectantly as the procession concluded.
“Ladies and gentlemen... boys....” he said dramatically, pointing towards the man with the candle. “The light of knowledge.”
The audience applauded politely as the older gentleman stepped slowly forward with the candle. The bagpiper marched in place at the corner of the dais, and the four banner carriers, lowering their flags that read, Tradition, Honor, Discipline, and Excellence, quietly took seats with the audience.
The gentleman with the candle walked to the front of the audience where the youngest students sat holding unlit candles. Slowly, he bent forward, lighting the candle of the first student on the aisle.
“The light of knowledge shall be passed from old to young,” Headmaster Nolan intoned solemnly. While each boy lit the candle of the student sitting next to him, Nolan gave his usual speech at the beginning of every year. That was until he made a dramatic pause, his gaze sweeping the room full of intense, frightened young faces, and demanded,
“Gentlemen, what are the four pillars?”
The shuffle of feet broke the tense silence as the students rose to attention. Sixteen-year-old Todd Anderson, one of the few students not wearing the school blazer, hesitated as the boys around him rose to their feet. He felt lost, completely out of place around so many new faces and so many rules he didn’t know. His mother nudged him up. Frightened for what this ceremony meant for him, he watched silently as the boys around him shouted in unison, “Tradition! Honor! Discipline! Excellence!”
Todd wanted to disappear. It had never been his choice to come to this school. To the school where his always-perfect brother left a mark. But for Todd, his life had always consisted of exactly that: following the traces of his brother and living in his shadow.
That was why he had wanted to stay at his old school, with his old friends and his old routines. However, his parents had wanted him to go there, and when they decided something there was nothing Todd could do except be afraid of what going there meant. And he was afraid. Because that school was not only a place where he would be living again in the shadow of his brother, but he would also be living surrounded by hundreds of other boys. In small quarters.
Todd was distracted from his thoughts when Nolan finished introducing the new teacher. Mr Keating was his name, English’s new professor.
Eventually the convocation came to an end. The students and their parents filed out of the chapel and onto the chilly campus grounds. Weathered stone buildings and a tradition of austerity isolated Welton from the world beyond.
Like a vicar standing outside of church on Sunday, Dean Nolan watched students and parents say their good-byes. Charlie Dalton’s mother brushed the hair out of his eyes and hugged him tightly. Knox Overstreet’s father gave his son an affectionate squeeze as they walked around the campus pointing to its landmarks.
Neil Perry’s father stood stiffly, adjusting the achievement pins on his son’s jacket, still inside the building.
Todd Anderson stood alone, trying to unearth a stone with his shoe. His parents chatted nearby with the Dean, next to the door, paying no heed to their son. Still staring at the ground self-consciously, Todd was startled when he heard them call his name, so he looked up. But instead of focusing on what Nolan was telling him, his mind went blank when he saw probably the most handsome boy on earth just some paces behind them. He was tall, had brown hair and looked a little nervous while his father adjusted something on his jacket.
The boy may had felt his eyes on him, because suddenly he also looked up and stared straight into Todd’s eyes, making Todd avert his gaze away shyly and fast. He only hoped he wasn’t as red as he felt.
“Todd, respond to the Dean.”
Todd snapped out of his embarrassment and looked at his frowning mother. Without knowing too well what to say, he nodded, trying to remember what the Dean had told, and just said faintly “Thank you, sir.”
Nolan moved on, strolling past parents and students, greeting them and smiling all the time. After a while he reached Mr. Perry and his son Neil.
“We’re expecting great things of you this year, Mr. Perry.”
“Thank you, sir,” responded the boy.
“He won’t disappoint us,” the boy’s father said to Nolan, “Right, Neil?”
“I’ll do my best, sir.”
That afternoon, many of the younger boys’ chins quivered, and tears slipped out as they said good-bye to their parents, perhaps for the first time. “You’re going to love it here,” one father said, smiling and waving as he walked quickly away. “Don’t be a baby,” another father snapped at his frightened and tearful son. Slowly the parents filtered out and eventually all cars pulled away, leaving their sons alone in the middle of nowhere.
When the parents had finally left, everyone started to make their way to their new home at Welton Academy, the isolated school in the green but raw woods of Vermont.
Todd had no other option than to follow all the boys. He didn’t know exactly where to go, only that he had to go to his new room and settle in, so he started making his way towards it. The buildings were big, rusty and old, and they all looked the same, so it was a little difficult for him to find his way through. Fortunately, he found the right building fast and entered it with his heart beating fast on his chest.
Only, when he was just entering the small patio at the entrance of the building, a boy approached Todd and offered a handshake.
“I hear we’re going to be roommates,” he said with a broad smile. “I’m Neil Perry.”
Todd’s heart started beating even harder in his chest when he realized this was the handsome boy he had spotted before. He didn’t expect that sudden encounter. Even less those sudden news. But he did his best to keep calm, accept the handshake and respond softly as he had been taught.
“Todd Anderson.”
After that the boys just walked in awkward silence towards their room. Todd didn’t want to make eye contact, but it was a bit difficult because the pretty boy kept looking at him.
“Why’d you leave Balincrest?” Neil asked suddenly, in a desperate try to talk to him.
Todd was a bit startled but responded anyways.
“My brother went here.”
Neil smiled again.
“Oh, so you’re that Anderson.”
Todd shrugged and groaned. “Uh… yeah. My parents wanted me to go here all along, but my grades weren’t good enough. I had to go to Balincrest to pull them up.”
“Well, you’ve won the booby prize,” Neil laughed. “Don’t expect to like it here.”
“I don’t already,” Todd muttered.
Neil laughed a little at that, and Todd blushed. Though he did his best to turn the face so Neil wouldn’t see him.
It was bad enough that Todd had to share room with a boy, but with a pretty one like him?
That year was going to be torture, that Todd was sure of.
They walked in silence into the entrance hall of the dorm. There, they found a confusion of students, suitcases, typewriters, pillows, and record players moving around them. At the head of the hall a school porter stood watching a pile of unclaimed luggage.
Neil and Todd stopped to look for their belongings.
Neil spotted his bags fast, so he started making his way to his old room despite having lost his new roommate somewhere trying to take his bags.
“Home, sweet home,” he whispered as he entered the small square space barely large enough to fit two single beds, two closets, and two desks.
He had barely plopped his suitcases on one of the beds when Richard Cameron stuck his head in the room.
“Heard you got the new boy. Hear he’s a stiff!” he laughed just as Todd finally walked in, looking down, his lips tight. When he saw the blonde boy, Cameron muttered a little, “Oops!” and quickly ducked out.
Still looking down, Todd made his way into the room and dropped his suitcases on the free bed. Then he began to unpack silently.
“Listen, don’t mind Cameron,” said Neil suddenly, still smiling a little and still looking at him, “He’s born with a foot on his mouth, you know what I mean?”
At the sound of his voice, he looked back at his new roommate but told himself to just focus on unpacking, so he looked down again. They both started doing it for a while in silence until Knox Overstreet, Charlie Dalton, and Steven Meeks then showed up at their door.
“Hey, Perry,” Charlie said, smirking and pointing at him, “rumor has it, you did summer school.”
When he saw his best friend, Neil smiled widely and went to greet him.
“Yeah, chemistry. My father thought I should get ahead,” he said, “How’s been summer, slick?”
“Keen” responded Charlie cockily, and the others laughed. He then turned and said “Meeks, door, closed.”
“Yes, sir,” he mocked, but did as he said.
They all entered the room and sat around there as if it was their home.
“Gentlemen, what are the four pillars?” asked Neil suddenly, in front of the window.
In unison, everyone said mockingly, “Travesty, horror, decadence, excrement.”
Todd looked around, nervous, because he didn’t know what that was about. Maybe he didn’t want to know. He just knew he got into that school to do his best, follow his brother’s path and not get into trouble. So he just looked down again and kept unpacking.
“Okay, study group,” said Charlie “Meeks aced Latin, and I didn’t quite flunk English, so if you want, we’ve got our study group.”
“Sure, but Cameron asked me too,” said Neil, “Anybody mind including him?”
“What’s his specialty,” Charlie laughed, “brown-nosing?”
“Hey,” Neil said, “he’s your roommate.”
“That’s not my fault.” Charlie shook his head, and there were some soft laughs.
Todd continued unpacking his suitcase while the other boys talked. Steven Meeks, when he noticed it, walked toward him.
“Uh, I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Steven Meeks.”
Todd just turned in silence, so Neil clapped his shoulder and introduced them.
“This is Todd Anderson,” he said simply as Todd shook his hand. Knox and Charlie also introduced themselves and Todd also shook hands formally. Todd noticed that Charlie was smoking, and it made him nervous, but he didn’t say anything.
“Todd’s brother is Jeffrey Anderson,” Neil pointed out after a brief silence.
Charlie looked over with recognition and smiled, “Oh, yeah, sure. Valedictorian, National Merit Scholar...” Todd nodded. “Well, welcome to ‘Hellton.’ It’s every bit as hard as they say. Unless you’re a genius like Meeks.”
“He only flatters me, so I’ll help him with Latin.”
“And English, and trig.” Charlie added, inhaling the smoke badly and coughing a bit.
Someone knocked on the door then, and all of them fell quiet. Charlie hurried to hide the smoke while Neil called, “It’s open.”
But it wasn’t another of their friends this time.
“Father,” Neil stammered, his face turning white. “I thought you’d gone.”
The boys jumped to their feet when they saw the old man.
“Mr. Perry,” Meeks, Charlie, and Knox said in unison.
“Keep your seats, boys,” Neil’s father said as he walked briskly into the room. “How’s it going?”
“Fine, sir. Thank you,” they all answered.
Mr. Perry stood face to face with Neil, who shuffled uncomfortably. “Neil, I think you’re taking too many extracurricular activities, and I’ve decided that you drop the school annual.”
“But, Father,” Neil muttered in disbelief, “I’m the assistant editor.”
“Well, I’m sorry, Neil,” Mr. Perry replied stiffly.
“But, Father, it’s not fair. I...” Mr. Perry’s eyes glared at Neil, who stopped midsentence. Then he opened the door and pointed to Neil to leave the room.
“Fellas, would you excuse us a minute?” he asked politely. Mr. Perry followed Neil, closing the door behind him.
When they were out, Todd told himself not to worry about it, it was none of his business. But as he unpacked the rest of his things, he couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy. He knew what it was to have parents like this.
When Neil walked back into the room after a while, he frowned and slammed his suitcase shut and slumped sat on the window.
“What do I care about any of it anyway?” he muttered.
There was a long silence. No one dared to speak for a while.
“I don’t know about anyone else,” Charlie said suddenly, breaking the silence, “but I could sure use a refresher in Latin. Eight o’clock in my room?”
“Sure,” Neil said tonelessly. Then he looked at Todd and when he averted his gaze, he smiled softly at him and said, “You’re welcome to join us, Todd.”
“Yeah,” Knox agreed. “Come along.”
“Thank you,” Todd said, though it was barely a noise.
The boys left after a while, which left Neil and Todd moving in silence around the room. They had to finish the settle in and then they would go to lunch. When Neil finished, he went back to his window and picked up picked up the achievement pin in his jacket his father put there. He remembered his previous conversation with him, and he wanted to throw it away.
Something fell and Neil looked up. In front of him, Todd was picking up a book from the floor with a silent, “sorry.” Neil smiled for some reason. He didn’t know much about the boy, but he knew he liked him. The only thing he wanted was for him to speak a little more. Why did he barely said anything? What was going on in his mind? It was like a mystery that new roommate of his. And for some reason Neil felt the sudden urge to figure him out.
He kept looking at him curiously as he moved around the room. Then, he noticed, the boy took out a framed photo of his mother and father with their arms affectionately around an older boy, who appeared to be his brother, Jeffrey. Neil looked at the photo and noticed that Todd was slightly apart from the family group, with them but not really a part of them.
Todd left it in one side and unpacked an engraved leather desk set. He put it out on his desk. Neil just kept looking at him, trying to talk to him about something. Anything. He wanted to befriend him if they were meant to spend all year living in the same room. But him barely speaking since they met it just made things difficult.
After a while, still looking at him intensely, he asked:
“So, what do you think of my father?”
Todd looked above his shoulder, but when his gaze found Neil’s, he felt a little nervous and turned again to his desk.
“I, uh… I’ll take him over mine,” Todd responded softly, almost to himself.
“What?” Neil asked.
“Uh, nothing.”
Todd could almost hear Neil smiling.
“Todd, if you’re gonna make it around here, you’ve got to speak up. The meek might inherit the earth, but they don’t get into Harvard; know what I mean?”
Todd nodded without looking at him, folding a white button-down oxford cloth shirt.
Neil still held the achievement pin in his hand. And when he thought again of the conversation with his father, he jabbed his thumb with the metal point of the pin and drawing blood.
“The bastard!” he shouted suddenly. Todd winced, but Neil just stared at the blood intensely. He pulled the pin out and hurled it against the wall.
That night was their last night of freedom, or so Neil said. The bathroom was loud. Everyone was shouting and talking and walking around half naked. It was a very small place for so many people, thought Todd. So, after trying to spend as little time in the bathroom as possible, Todd hurried to his bedroom and changed there as fast as possible. Telling himself that rather than worrying about tomorrow he should go to sleep, he sat on his bed.
But then the door opened with a rush, and Neil smiled while closing the door behind him.
“Already to bed, huh?”
Todd shrugged.
“Don’t want to think about tomorrow.”
Neil smiled wider while he went to his wardrobe and started taking off his shirt in one swift move.
“Yeah, I was like that my first day” he said as Todd blushed and averted his gaze from his shirtless roommate. “Scared shitless. Everyone was talking about how bad Hellton was. Heads-up, it’s worse than you think.”
Todd tried to look at him to respond, but tore his gaze away as fast as possible when he saw that Neil had taken off his pants and was trying to find something in the wardrobe while standing there in boxers.
“I… uh, that doesn’t really help.”
Neil laughed, and when he finally had put other clothes on, he went to his bed and sat looking at Todd.
“Don’t worry. You look smart, you’ll be fine.”
“Mhm. Thanks.”
“Look, just do what everyone tells you and you’ll do just fine.”
“That… that works for you?”
“That’s what everyone tries to do” he smiled, “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll help you.”
“Oh. You’ll help me?”
“Yeah. I was scared shitless like you my first day. Got Charlie guiding me, he was my roommate at the time, forever thankful for his help. Though, gotta tell you, he was also new so because of that dumbass we barely did something right” he laughed again, and for some reason, Todd found himself smiling too. “So I’ll be your Charlie, okay? I’ll guide you. You got a problem, I help you.”
For some seconds, Todd didn’t know what to say.
“I, uhm, Neil, you really don’t have to…”
“But I want to. Todd, you need anything, come to me, deal?”
Before he blushed and decided to face the wall instead of Neil to sleep, he smiled faintly at his new, pretty roommate, and whispered a silent, “Deal.”