Work Text:
Josh perched himself on a bench, sliding his phone out of his back pocket as he rolled out his neck. The night shoots always got to him, but when he did them with Tyler, the nights seemed to always pass faster. Maybe it was the constant stream of jokes Tyler seemed incapable of stopping from coming out of his mouth, or the flow the two of them were in after so many years of working together. Whatever it was, Josh felt his heart drop when his screen lit up to tell him it was only 11:30pm. Josh exhaled out his nose, biting down a groan and the urge to let out a quiet whimper. This was his job, and he’s lucky to be doing something so absurd and insane for money. And to only have to do that. Get to do that, his mother always reminded him.
Josh chewed on his lip, wishing it just was the last night of shooting instead of the first.
Josh didn’t understand why Tyler never wanted to meet up with other ghost hunters. Josh joked that Tyler must just be scared to be proven wrong if they did. Tyler always scoffed at this, but never would bring up why Josh always had to go alone to collaboration shoots.
It wasn’t that Josh didn’t like this group of guys. But they weren’t Tyler. And he knew he’d have more fun if his best friend came along - things were just better with Tyler. It was just one of the facts of life: that bananas are terrible, Redbull is the best drink, things are better with Tyler. They always had been, ever since the 6th grade. There was a distinct way Josh mapped his life, BT (Before Tyler), and AT (After Tyler). The gaping, Tyler sized hole in his chest had been filled all those years ago, and the moments the chasm opened again were almost harder, because now Josh knew what was missing.
Josh rolled his eyes to himself at that thought. “Melodramatic, much?” he said out loud to no one in particular. One of the APs looked over at him, and he waved his hand back, waving the words out of the air.
But it was just one weekend, what was the worst that could happen? Other than Josh being murdered by a vindictive spirit (something Tyler told him was insane, but Josh noticed the way Tyler always came armed with Holy Water and a defibrillator, taking no chances on this plane of existence or the next).
Josh was about to slide his phone back into his pocket, when his screen lit up with a notification from @twentyoneghosts on Instagram.
“@tylerjoseph has gone live with @twentyoneghosts,” the notification read. Josh bit back a grin, swiping on the notification to see what Tyler was up to now. He wondered if after so many years of working together, Tyler had sensed through the spiritual plane that Josh needed a pick me up. Josh responded as Tyler in his own head, quipping back, “No, Josh, what it means is I got a sense from my brain that I was fucking bored and wanted something to do.”
Josh’s phone opened Instagram, Tyler’s face filling his screen, his crooked grin soothing the ache in Josh’s chest. As Josh’s username popped up, the comments began to flood with:
“Josh!”
“Josh is watching!”
“Tyler, you have to show him show him!”
“Omg hiiiiii Josh!”
Tyler’s eyes flickered down to the chat, taking in the comments and processing Josh’s entrance to the live. Josh watched an emotion he couldn’t discern flick over his face, so fast that no one else would’ve caught it. But Josh did.
As fast as it had come, the look was gone, Tyler’s face back to being animated and silly. It happened so quickly Josh began to doubt it had existed in the first place. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. Tyler waved at the screen, “Hiiii Josh!” he called out. Josh waved back, forgetting momentarily that Tyler couldn’t see him.“This is perfect timing, actually, I have something great to show you. Should really take a lot off of both of our plates.”
Tyler’s words were light, his face betraying nothing. Nonetheless, Josh furrowed his brow at the comment. Take what off of their plates? Production has been going smoother than it ever has been, Jenna and Debby are great editors and content managers - Mark, God bless him, wrangled a lot of the legal for them. What more was there to take off of the plate?
Slowly, and dramatically, as Tyler was capable of nothing less, Josh watched him raise something into view of the camera. Josh squinted at the screen, wishing he had his glasses. It was gray, it was fuzzy, and it was…hideous.
“Is that a fucking Labubu?” Josh said out loud. The AP looked at him once again, and Josh didn’t even bother wiping away his random outburst this time.
The tiny freak was holding an even tinier little can of Redbull between its…hands? Paws? Josh wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to find out. Tyler was having the little creature dance in front of the camera, making its little arms wave at the camera. His long fingers held the little thing so gently, running softly over the…fur? In a way that made Josh’s stomach lurch.
“Look at him!” Tyler exclaimed. “He has a Redbull, just like me, and,” Tyler paused, standing up and backing away from the camera so his whole body was in frame. “When I wear my jeans, I’ll be able to clip him to my belt loop! A built in best friend,” Tyler quipped. As he spoke, he clipped the edge of the Labubu to the edge of his sweats, causing the fabric, already sitting low on his hips, to descend even farther down Tyler’s body. Tyler then did a little twirl, the tiny monster flinging out from Tyler’s body, but bouncing off of Tyler’s hip bone as it went.
Josh’s fingers flew to the comments faster than his brain did.
“What is he going to take off my plate, besides my appetite?” he wrote, following it up with another comment, “Take that little freak on a chain off of your pants you’re about to flash all of Instagram.”
Tyler had come back to the phone again, his face filling the screen as if Josh were looking at Tyler kneeling below him, his eyes and forehead taking up the foreground of the frame. Josh saw Tyler read his comments, and then throw his head back and laugh. A pure, unabashed sound, one that Josh always prided himself in being able to elicit from Tyler.
“No, Josh,” he cackled, having successfully unclipped the little demon (it was escalating, Josh decided, his dislike of this creature) from his sweats. “This way, when you leave me, I’ll always have a friend.”
The look flashed across Tyler’s face again, and this time Josh knew he saw it. Tyler brought the Labubu up to his face and pressed a kiss to it, and then brought it to his chest.
“Guys, say hello to my new best friend, and big shout out to Redbull for sending this PR to us. Not that they needed to do any more convincing to get me to do unpaid PR for them, but now no one will ever be able to doubt my feelings.” He grinned again at the camera, pressing a few more kisses to the little devil before clipping it to the neck of his t-shirt.
“Now, we have some other things to get to, some other packages I need to open, gear to sort through, so if you guys are in for the long haul…”
“Josh,” a voice cut through the night air. “We’re ready to head in, are you good?”
Josh locked his phone, silencing Tyler’s voice. He nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, yeah man, all good. Let’s go find these ghosts!” He tried to infuse some enthusiasm into his words, he really did. But even he heard how flat they fell.
Tyler’s words, “new best friend” echoed in his head as he stood, turning his phone off so it wouldn’t disrupt filming before shoving it back into his pocket. It’s a doll, he thought to himself. But the Tyler shaped hole had shrunk, to a Labubu sized betrayal.
Josh’s night continued like that, getting breaks, checking his phone, and seeing Tyler up to some bullshit with that freaking doll. At some point, he put up a poll, asking their followers what he should name it (Ned for some reason was the consensus). Josh thought Ned was a stupid name, and it definitely had nothing to do with the way Tyler’s voice reached the same timbre it normally did when Tyler said Josh’s name.
It’s a doll, he kept reminding himself, as he laid down on his cot around 7am, grateful that a night of shooting a post had wrapped, and that he would be able to sleep for a few hours before the ghost hunting and mayhem would ensue again.
It was just that, Tyler hadn’t called anyone his best friend, ever. It had taken him 6 years of friendship with Josh before he would even call Josh his best friend, and Josh had had to say it first. They both knew it to be the truth - they had other friends, other activities and interests. But they always came back to one another. Josh knew about Tyler’s insecurities, when he was wearing his least favorite pair of underwear, and what scent was “his” scent. They had chosen them together at the beginning of their careers, when they’d made the decision to drop out of college and pursue socials and Youtube full time. They’d decided they were “men” now, whatever that meant, and they’d splurged on a ton of fancy cologne samples, carefully applying them and sniffing themselves and one another, trying to decide which one suited them best.
“That freak can’t even smell him,” Josh grumbled under his breath, clicking open his phone one final time to check that Tyler was finally inactive online. He blissfully was, and Josh turned his phone off so he could get some shut eye.
“What?” came a laugh from another cot nearby him. Sean, one of his coworkers for the weekend, was squinting at him from his pillow, hair mussed from where he had clearly been tossing and turning on the almost-too-small cot.
“Oh,” Josh huffed, forcing an air of levity to come from his tone, “Just something dumb Tyler is doing. We got sent one of those little Labubus and -” Josh cut himself off. Sean had simply turned over, moving his back to Josh as he spoke. “Oh,” Josh said again, softer this time.
“Right, anyways,” Josh settled back onto the cot, suddenly regretting turning his phone off. On days spent sleeping after night shoots, Tyler would usually scoot his cot closer to Josh, one or the other of them mumbling until they both dozed off, just in arms reach. The vibe of this group was just different. That’s all.
When Josh finally turned his phone back on when he woke up, however, he found that while he’d been out, all hell had broken loose. Hell just happened to be named Ned the Labubu.
Josh had almost forgotten the events of the prior evening. As he awoke, he groggily rolled over, turning his phone on and stretching out on the cot. Sean had vacated the cot next to him, but there was still a man sized indent on the pillow, telling Josh he was not yet late for any calls. Probably.
His phone came to life, and has he typed the passcode in, a flood of notifications came across his screen. Texts from his mom, his sister, Jenna, Debby….Tyler’s mom? And Mark. But none from Tyler himself. Josh tried not to think about the ache in his chest at that.
He scrolled through the messages, the texts making even less sense as his groggy brain tried to parse through the information.
“You have got to talk to Tyler again about appropriate uses of the company card,” said one message from Mark.
"Do I need to add an extra seat for Christmas this year?” Asked another from Tyler’s mom.
"Bro haha you’ve been replaced,” came one from his sister. Another followed, reading, “Are you seeing this? Can’t decide who is probably crashing out more rn, you or him lmao,”
Similar messages came from Jenna and Debby, although Debby also at least had the decency to ask him how he was holding up with the late night, sending him $10 to “make sure he eats something from the ground.” Josh considered that while it was possible he would use the $10 for that, it wasn’t probable.
Finally, Josh opened Instagram, to see his mentions absolutely flooded. He flicked his thumb over the screen, reading more and comprehending less. Ned had more or less taken over the @twentyoneghosts profile, and the bio had been changed to “Ned and his Best Friend Hunt Ghosts”. Josh grimaced, standing and stretching himself out.
That’s when Josh saw it. A grid post on Tyler’s personal account, “with” their joint account. Has Tyler slept at all since I left? Josh had to wonder, watching the video light up his screen. Tyler making a tiny sweatshirt for Ned the Labubu, that looked suspiciously like a sweatshirt Tyler owned - so now they had matching ones. When did Tyler even learn to sew?
Tyler taking the little creature out with him, clipping it to his belt loop, as promised in the live from the night before. Taking it to the grocery store, buying copious amounts of Redbull (maybe that’s what Mark’s text was about?) and “taste testing” it with the fucking doll. A myriad of other fun tasks. Josh ground his teeth, his jaw beginning to ache. It was too early for this. Well, technically it was too late for this, but too early for his brain.
The video ended with a clip of Tyler holding Ned in frame, snuggling the tiny terror into his face. He laughed, turning to look at the doll, and kissed it on the nose. Then he said, “Should I even think about getting another one of you? Maybe get you a friend?” He held Ned up to his ear. Tyler’s face split into a grin, all his teeth showing and a cackle escaping his lips. Josh wondered if he was the only person on the earth who would notice that not all of the creases around his eyes were crinkling. Tyler wasn’t really laughing.
"You’re so right Ned,” Tyler said to the doll. “We are best friends. And now that you say it, I agree. I would never try to replace you. I’m loyal. And you, just you, are enough for me.”
Tyler nodded, clipping the doll back to his belt loop and then ending the video. The reel began to play again. Josh’s fingers flew across the screen to the comments, writing back “If you wanted a little freak on a chain, I’m right here,” before he could really think about any of the implications of those words.
He locked his phone, running his fingers through sleep shorn hair and he headed towards the door. He hadn’t even pissed yet and he was already pissed off. It was going to be a long night.
And a long night it was. Josh could feel he was off his game, his fingers itching to reach for his phone and see if any more shenanigans had ensued online. In one way, it was a blessing that the shoot was turning out to be so chaotic, Josh must’ve brought the wrong iteration of the call sheet, so he spent a lot of time feeling about 5 steps behind everyone else.
Blessedly, no one really mentioned it. But it was rare that Josh got a lot of conversation in when the cameras weren’t rolling, the rest of the crew joking around with one another, Josh always just on the periphery. That’s ok, he always thought to himself. I’m more of an introvert anyways.
And it was always scarier without Tyler. These boys were all more of believers than Tyler was, and Josh missed Tyler’s constant stream of skepticism. Maybe the ache in his chest was caused by the lack of mental sparring, having to come up with responses to Tyler’s claims. His mind rarely had time to be scared, he was too busy figuring out how to put Tyler in his place, when he would wander places they had been told not to go, or picking up haunted artifacts without any precaution.
The only time he did get on his phone, he spent trying to communicate with Tyler. It wasn’t going well.
“Hey man, have you slept?”
"Hi, you’ve reached Tyler’s phone,
Ned responding. I don’t need sleep, but
thanks for asking!”
"Dude seriously have you laid down?”
"Tyler put me down, but only
while he was pissing! I’m back upright
now”
"Surprised he didn’t keep you attached for that”
"His hand needed a break”
Josh took a break from responding for a while after that. He tried again about 20 minutes later, trying to shake the image of Tyler’s hands from his mind.
"Okay, Ned, if you don’t put Tyler on I’m never
coming back to work, tell him.”
He didn’t get a response for about an hour after that. He wasn’t sure what he expected.
”So sorry man just took a crazy nap
What’s up?”
”You’re being a lot, dude.”
Blissfully, morning came, which meant Josh could go to sleep. He didn’t even manage to make it to a cot this time, he sank down to the floor of the bathroom, leaning his head against the cool tile, breathing through his nose and wishing he could just be in his own stupid bed. Before he turned his phone off, he saw a text come through from Jenna.
”Company call. 1pm. Be there, please.”
Josh sighed, locking his phone but not turning it off this time, before falling into a few hours of restless slumber.
Tyler doesn’t sleep well when Josh is gone. So - like every time Josh goes out of town, Tyler doesn’t sleep.
Tyler had started the Instagram live knowing Josh's production was on a break. He knew how those guys treated Josh, knew the first night was always the longest. It always sent Tyler into a spiral, Josh not being nearby. Tyler tried not to consider if that was the real reason he’d dropped out of college. And he and Josh were partners, he knew that. Logically. But it still hurt, though, almost physically, that Josh still chose to take other gigs with other groups. So Tyler took to learning Josh’s schedule. And did little things to get his attention, sometimes. Or something. Was it kind of fucked up? Maybe. But also it was how they’re dynamic had always worked. Josh being so trusting and Tyler doing what he could to shield him from afar. Josh going away and Tyler acting out, wondering if that would be the final straw and Josh would never come home. Was it something he needed to see a therapist about? Probably. But he was already seeing a therapist about so many things, he couldn’t add Josh, the best part about his life, to the list too.
Josh always defended that group. He insisted Tyler was just determined to see the bad side of them, that he had never given them a proper chance. Maybe that was true. But he saw how Josh’s smile never fully met his eyes in videos, how his posture was stilted and made small. Sometimes it was because they all were too scared. Josh needed Tyler, anyone could see that. At least, Tyler could.
And so Tyler needed a distraction. He thought that maybe he could be a distraction for Josh, too, if things were getting too much and he wasn’t letting himself admit it.
So when Tyler had seen that PR package from Redbull come through, his brain latched on to the bit, to the idea of Ned the Labubu being his best friend now, since his was otherwise occupied, and it ran.
He did crash every few hours after the first 24 hours of not sleep, catching an hour or two here or there, catching a whole four hours at one point. The copious amounts of Redbull he had been taste testing were making staying up easier, and his dreams even weirder.
He woke up from one of his power naps to see two messages, one from Jenna and one from Josh. The one from Jenna was directing him to a company meeting at…1:00pm. He glanced at the time on his phone, cursing under his breath seeing it was 1:10 already. He flailed around for his AirPods, knocking Ned across the room in the process. He connected to the call, as he scrambled to pick up Ned and situate himself on his bed.
The message from Josh read: You’re being a lot, dude.
He sat on the edge of his bed, absentmindedly fiddling with Ned, twisting the little ears back and forth, throwing him in the air and catching him, tossing him from hand to hand.
He heard Josh’s sleepy voice floating through the speakers, telling Tyler that Josh probably also had woken up recently.
“Yeah, no, the shoot’s going well,” he heard Josh say. Tyler started to open his mouth, what was surely going to be a smart retort on the edge of his tongue, but Josh’s next statement made him freeze.
”And shoots just aren’t as fun without Tyler - without all of you guys, I mean. You’re my team. It’s just a different rhythm, here, I guess,” Josh’s voice got smaller at the end of his statement. Tyler could then hear a big yawn come through the speaker, vibrating against his eardrums as if Josh were right next to him, surrounding him, hugging him.
Tyler zoned out for a minute, rolling that statement over in his mind as he rolled Ned over in his hands. He came back online when he heard his name being repeated by Debby, over and over.
”Tyler, Tyler, Ned’s keeper, earth to Tyler, helloooooo,” her voice drawled through the phone.
“Sorry, Ned was telling me about his day, it was so much more interesting,” Tyler quipped back without thinking, irritation rising in his chest at own his lack of attention. He heard the sharp tone to his voice that caused the phone line to go silent for a little too long, meaning everyone else on the line had heard it too.
Tyler swallowed, guilt now rising to follow the irritation. He pushed both down, continuing, “Anyways, I’m all yours now, Debby, what’s up?”
Jenna cleared her throat. “Debby was just about to remind you, Tyler, that while you might be making content with and about your new little toy, that does not mean the Twenty One Ghosts company card can be used for,” she paused, sounding like she was pulling up a list on the computer in front of her, “Redbull, Tiny custom t-shirts, custom rock climbing carabiners - what are those even for, Tyler, uhm,”
“Tyler,” Josh’s voice addressed him for the first time in days. He sounded as exhausted as Tyler felt. “What the fuck, man. You know we can see that shit. And now I’m dealing with that while I’m trying to do actual work, make actual money not just spend it on that dumb little freak shit - ”
That made Tyler’s veins run cold, his heart felt like it stopped beating in his chest for a moment. He knew he was being silly. He knew he had maybe even been a little bit ridiculous this weekend. He could concede those points. But Josh calling him, what he was doing, dumb, was too much. Telling Tyler he was “one more thing Josh had to deal with”. He slammed his fist into his knee, blood roaring in his ears. The worst part was, Josh was right, sort of. But Tyler didn’t think he’d done anything so bad to be a trial for Josh to endure. Josh was the one who had left him for the weekend. Tyler was just trying to get by. Why didn’t anyone ever see that? Why couldn’t he act in a way that let people see that?
“Got it, Josh. Message received, loud and fucking clear. Really, honestly, you’ve made your point. Get off this call then, surprised you’re deigning to take this call with me on it in the van with everyone.”
He chucked his phone against the wall after that, ripping his AirPods out, tears pricking at the back of his eyelids. He could hear muffled voices coming from the buds where they lay on the ground in front of him. He dragged a hand down his face. He was so tired. He didn’t know how to function with or without Josh, that much was becoming clear. Maybe it was better Josh did have another group - a fallback. Apparently they couldn’t suck as much as Tyler did.
That’s when he heard a change in the tone of voice coming from his AirPods. The timbre of Josh’s voice drove into his carpeting, becoming something small and tender. Something Tyler had heard in middle school gym class, when their high school band teacher had berated Josh for the color of his hair, and Tyler had taken the comment to the school principal. No one made his Josh, his friend, feel like that. Tyler had heard the tone of voice from Josh, and it was never good.
The ice ran through his veins once more, wondering if he was finally the cause.
He slowly reached down, hesitantly picking up an AirPod and putting it back into his ear. Josh’s voice filled his ears once more, his voice trembling slightly in a way only Tyler would be able to identify.
“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Tyler heard Josh’s voice say. “I’ll uhm, I’m sure it was an honest mistake, and I must have been looking at the wrong schedule…” his voice trailed off. “I’ll get an Uber its fine. I have a few hours still before I have to be there anyways,”
“Use the company card,” Debby replied. “An actually appropriate use of funds, and you shouldn’t be personally penalized for them not giving you the right schedule.”
“No, no, it’s fine - I mean I am also the company so I’m penalized either way - ”
“Stop,” Tyler heard his voice ripped out of his throat. “Josh, where are you?”
“Tyler it’s fine, I’m sure an honest mistake, they maybe left early - ”
“They LEFT you?!” Tyler roared. He scrambled to find his phone in the mess of his room, plucking the other AirPod out of the carpet and violently slamming it into his ear. “Absolutely not,” he said, finding his phone and then beginning a hunt for his car keys.
“Tyler it’s fine I’ll get an Uber,” Josh tried to protest again.
“Like hell you will,” Tyler growled. “I’m coming to get you.” He snatched his keys off the nightstand, now searching the ground for shoes. Finding some, he shoved his feet into the ends of some Vans, heels crumpling the back edge down. He could not care less right now.
“Ty,” Josh tried one more time.
“Joshua William Dun if you move one inch before I arrive I will - well I don’t know but I’m coming to get you. I knew you should’ve told you to get your own car for the weekend, but I’m coming to get you. End of discussion.” And with that he ended the call, ripping his AirPods out of his ears and shoving them into his pocket with Ned.
Tyler flew out his front door, down the steps, careening towards his car. He wasn’t even sure he had his wallet, he hoped it was still in his pocket, but at this point he didn’t even care. The only clear thought he had was: Josh needs me. I need to get to Josh.
Josh opened his phone again, staring at the little dot on his “Find my Friends,” watching Tyler inch ever closer to his location. He tapped his fingers against the edge of the phone. He hadn’t dared to move, after Tyler told him not to. Josh knew better, even though they both were mad at each other, for some reason.
Tyler coming to get Josh didn’t even really make any logical sense. He was coming in the wrong direction, it was a waste of gas, a waste of time. And Tyler was always saving Josh. Tyler had been a second skin to Josh since the moment they met, always making sure Josh had what he needed. As they’d gotten older, Josh had started to sense a lot of the time it was at Tyler’s personal expense, as if he was repenting for some wrong that Josh couldn’t see, or help him soothe.
And now Tyler was mad at him, and … he was mad at Tyler? Josh wasn’t even sure any more. But nonetheless, Tyler was coming to save him. And Josh, sick and twisted as it was, couldn’t help but to feel comforted all the same.
Josh had also spent the last hour or so trying to decide why Tyler was mad at him at all. It was just a weekend away, just a different weekend of work. He and Tyler had barely even spoken. As he thought about it now, the phone call was the most they’d spoken since Tyler had dropped him off at the shoot and driven away, taking a chunk of Josh with him, like he always did. Tucked into the backseat, like a heart in a canopic jar, keeping Tyler company for his journey.
Then Tyler spent the weekend crashing out online, how was that Josh’s fault? What right did Tyler have to be mad?
Tyler was the one who was telling the world he had a “new best friend” - never mind the fact that Josh was just away for one weekend. One fucking weekend for work. And didn’t Tyler know by now how that made Josh feel? Like he was replaceable, expendable? A doll was preferable to him?
Josh knew in his heart that there was no one, alive or dead, who was better suited to be Tyler’s best friend than he was. And he was always trying to show Tyler that, but was so bad at telling him.
Josh had no more time to ponder this, as the van pulled up in front of his feet, screeching to a halt, the locking mechanism flipping to unlock.
Josh tentatively pulled open the back door to deposit his bag, looking at Tyler, who was staring straight ahead out the front windshield. Josh slammed the back door shut, trying to get some sort of reaction out of Tyler, and then deposited himself in the passenger side. He sat, and waited, waited for Tyler to lay into him, to yell, or demand an explanation, or give him an “I told you so.”
Nothing came. Tyler finally looked over at him, and Josh couldn’t help but notice his eyes were rimmed red. Josh didn’t know if it was from tears or exhaustion, or maybe both. His heart lurched.
“Are you going to buckle your seatbelt so I can drive?” Tyler whispered, eyes flickering down to the empty buckle at Josh’s side. Josh nodded, reaching to buckle himself in. He paused, eyes flickered to the dash, the “Seatbelt” alert on Tyler’s side still decidedly blinking. Classic - trying to take care of Josh before himself. Slowly, Josh reached over the console, over Ned - nestled into a cupholder, and reached across Tyler to buckle him in before belting himself.
“You too,” Josh whispered into Tyler’s ear as he pulled back, settling into his seat. He swore he felt Tyler shiver as he retreated.
Wordlessly, Tyler pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling open the maps app. He handed the phone to Josh, who typed the address in. He tried not to notice that it was already in the maps search history, as if Tyler had already known and checked, but was letting Josh have control anyway.
Josh handed the phone back to Tyler, who then flipped to Spotify, pulling up a playlist labeled “Josh’s Jams,” one he had made specifically for Josh years ago, an ever evolving list full of old and new favorites. He pressed shuffle, then threw the phone down in the cup holder next to him, and put the van into drive.
Josh glanced down, once again looking at Ned sitting between them in the cup holders. Josh bit his tongue, but said nothing, instead choosing to settle in for the drive.
The time passed, as it always did. Tyler, in a honestly heroic show of restraint, Josh knew, did not say anything to Josh the entire ride. Tyler was giving Josh space, which he did desperately need, despite feeling so alone all weekend. They simply drove in silence, speeding as he fought to get them to the next shoot location on time.
They were about 5 minutes away when Tyler finally chose to open his mouth. Josh watched him inhale, knowing he was about to speak, and Josh just wanted to beat him to the punch. For once.
“Ty,” he said, his voice a little gravelly from not speaking since the phone call had ended, hours ago. “I know you told me so. I should’ve gotten a car for the weekend. But you really didn’t have to come get me, I’m an adult, and really I can take care of myself, you’re the one acting like a child with your…doll,” Josh spat out, looking down at Ned with intense dictates. Hatred might be the emotion he was feeling, if he thought it worth having such an intense emotion for an ugly little doll.
“Coming to get me wasn’t even practical, it wasn’t rational. Not that you’ve been acting particularly rational this weekend. It’s one weekend. And yeah, has it been a long weekend, yes! But I offered to let you come, dude! And maybe this is some elaborate bit but now you’re mad at me which hardly seems fair - ”
“You left,” Tyler responded, quietly. “You leave, and I always am just waiting and hoping you come back.” Those words hit Josh like a bucket of cold water to the face. Was that really how Tyler thought it went? That Josh was trying to get away from him, when in reality he had felt insane all weekend, like the time passing was just a hurdle to overcome to get back to his best friend?
“And you’ve done it before. You do it all the time. And it’s for work, and logically, I get it, I do. I swear. But remember when I had the bad feeling when you went to camp and then you broke your ankle? I had that feeling again. And I always try to tell you these guys are no good and for whatever reason you just don’t care to believe me. So I know now I can never be whatever this group of guys are to you, to be enough to not be someone you have to leave - God Josh, but you always leave me and I just feel like one day it’s going to be final and I’m not going to know what to do.”
They pulled into the parking lot. Tyler threw the van into park, looking over to Josh for the first time the whole ride. His brown eyes were wide and wild, tears threatening to spill over the edge, but never quite breaching the rim of his eyelids.
“Tyler,” Josh said, struggling to bring any words to the surface, much less the right ones. “You need to sleep.” He settled on. Because it looked true. Tyler only got this honest under two circumstances: extreme exhaustion or extreme inebriation.
Tyler shook his head vehemently. One tear trickled down his face, he pushed it away frustratedly. Rather childishly, a part of Josh’s brain thought. The other part couldn’t help but be endeared, and fought the urge to reach his own hand out to catch Tyler’s as it swiped across his face.
“Tyler,” Josh tried again. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Josh tried not to think about the bitter irony of his next actions: unbuckling his seatbelt, and slowly pushing the door open to unfurl himself from the passenger seat. He gathered his things, preparing to go inside the final haunted location of the shoot.
“I mean it,” he said, holding the door with one hand and his bag with the other. “I’ll see you when we’re done.” Josh looked at the bag in his hand, pulling out his phone, and throwing it down into the passenger seat - a promise he would return.
“Thank you, Ty.” He shut the door, and began walking inside. He heard the driver’s side open, heard Tyler getting out of the van, scrambling to grab Josh’s phone and return it. Josh just shook his head at Tyler, and Tyler was about to get back into the driver’s side when -
“Freak on a chain!” He heard a new voice echo across the parking lot. He turned, catching sight of Cole and Sean as they advanced towards him from their own van on the other side of the lot. He raised a hand to greet them, straightening his back slightly in an attempt to look unbothered that they’d left him behind and not even bothered to send a text to check in.
“There you are, Joshua!” Sean called out. “And I see you brought the freak on a chain!”
“Oh,” Josh started, moving towards the pair, hoping Tyler couldn’t hear. And wasn’t following, for that matter. Knowing how angry Tyler had sounded on the phone, and despite being calm in the car, Josh knew he didn’t have the energy to mediate between the two parties. Not today. Maybe not ever. “I mean, Ned is - ”
“Oh AND the freak brought the Labubu!” Cole’s cackle echoed off of the asphalt. Josh felt Tyler shrink on the other side of the car without even needing to look at him. He heard the door softly open, as Tyler tried to make himself small and disappear back inside.
When they had been kids, Josh was the one who got picked on. Josh knew Tyler got picked on too, but he sometimes insisted on making himself so feral it was hard to hit him, he was such a moving target. Josh had just tried to be kind, tried to be normal, in ways that were never quite good enough. He envied Tyler for being able to lean into his wild, weird side more as a kid, something Josh was still learning to be comfortable with.
But now? Josh felt the rage he used to see Tyler exhibit when another kid would push Josh on the soccer field. His vision turned red. He dropped his bag on the pavement, and before he knew it, he was in front of Cole and Sean.
“What the fuck did you just say?” He asked.
“I said, the FREAK brought the Labubu!” Cole repeated, not taking Josh’s anger seriously. This made him even more angry. He was tired. He had been left behind. But those things could be forgiven. But no one called his best friend, his Tyler, his lifeline, a freak. Not in that tone.
Almost of their own accord, he felt his arms reach out and shove. Hard.
To his disappointment, Cole did not fall to the ground. But it did shut him up, which was almost as good.
“What the fuck, man,” Sean sputtered, reaching out and shoving Josh back.
“What the fuck to me, what the fuck yourself?” Josh spat back, rounding on Sean next. “Who does he think he is talking about Tyler like that? And you’re going to laugh? As if that’s even remotely funny. That’s my best friend, that’s my partner, he’s my - ” Josh cut himself off, not even sure what word he was looking for. There was no word for what Tyler was to him.
“It was a fucking joke, Josh,” Tyler’s voice came from behind him. Tyler’s hand wrapped around Josh’s forearm, fingers strong and sure. Tyler turned Josh around to face him, hands gripping Josh’s shoulders now, holding him in place, holding him upright. Josh felt the Tyler sized hole that had been punched through his chest at the beginning of the weekend finally snap shut, looking into Tyler’s wide brown eyes, pleading with him. Tyler was rubbing his shoulders now, probably trying to rub some sense back into Josh.
But Josh had never had much sense when it came to Tyler.
“He’s sorry,” Tyler said. He pushed around Josh, still gripping one of his shoulders, but glaring at the other two men. “He’s sorry, but you better be as well, for leaving his ass behind. You all are lucky he got here, and you’ll be even luckier if we don’t sue.”
Tyler was back in front of Josh again. “You’re okay? You’re okay.” The words came out both as a question and a statement. “We can go, right now, if you want to. But don’t throw away this gig for me. It’s not worth it, I’m not - I’m not worth it, Josh. Just a few more hours. Just go inside.”
And with that, Tyler leaned it, for a fraction of a second. Josh’s eyes flicked around Tyler’s face, wishing he had the words. His breathing had become heavy, he realized, his chest brushing Tyler’s, the warmth coming from Tyler’s form soothing him, if only slightly. He was so tired, he thought again. He just wanted to get in the van and drive away with Tyler. But he knew he couldn’t.
“Well he was being a freak online,” He heard Cole say. The rage arose in him again. “I mean honestly, we did him a favor leaving you behind, he got some car time with you! Forced captivity and all that.” Cole smirked, stealing a glance at Sean and both of them appraising Tyler.
Josh watched, feeling helpless. Tyler had just expressed to him in the car that exact sentiment, and here were Cole and Sean, two people Josh was quickly wondering if he even liked, hitting him right where he was sensitive.
Tyler was frozen on the asphalt, face going terrifyingly neutral. And he wasn’t speaking. Tyler always had a retort. Josh felt like the world was falling out from underneath his feet.
“He never forces me to do anything,” Josh spat out, reaching out and shoving Sean now. “In fact, you did me a favor, because I actually got to have a conversation with someone, something none of you have been gracing me with all weekend. So sorry if that makes us freaks.” He realized the words were true as he said them. Even though the conversation with Tyler had been short, and he could tell both of them still felt terrible, at least there had been conversation at all.
“So if you’re going to open your mouth, I’d appreciate it if it could stop being stupid shit.” Josh spat out with finality. He was panting again, he couldn’t understand where this rage was coming from. Maybe he was taking his Ned rage out on Sean and Cole. But he couldn’t fight Ned, he was a doll, and besides, he hadn’t said anything quite so cruel to Tyler.
“Oh yeah?” Sean sneered, getting in Josh’s face now, replacing Cole. “Well if you had something worth saying besides, ‘I don’t know guys, I’m scared’ maybe we would have more to say.”
“As if you’re any less scared, you fucking pricks.” Tyler’s voice was gravelly, his frame coming in between Josh and Sean, the fire back in his eyes. “I’ve seen the way you act in videos, hiding behind Josh, making him go first. God, you want to talk about freaks, you freaks only get views when Josh is on your channel anyways.”
Josh smirked at that. He didn’t know Tyler watched these guys’ content, much less paid attention to how they acted when Josh was around. That knowledge made his heart do something funny in his chest. He needed to sleep. The fact that this fight was somehow still over Ned the Labubu was also not lost on him.
“Well, let’s go get you guys some views,” Josh said. He was still seething. He was still reeling from Tyler implying he wasn’t worth a fight. He just wanted this night to be over. He turned to Tyler.
“You’re sure you don’t want to come?” He asked. Tyler hesitated, and then shook his head.
Josh turned to Tyler, lowering his voice. He didn’t want to do what he was about to do next, but he needed Tyler to know he was serious. That he was proud of being his friend and partner, and that he was coming back.
“Go get Ned,” he said. Tyler’s eyes widened. “I’m serious, go get Ned. He’s coming in with me. So everyone will know who my best friend is.” He threw a glance over his shoulder at Cole and Sean. Pointedly, they turned around and headed inside.
Tyler ran back to the van, practically tripping as he went. He brought Ned back, and placed him in Josh’s hand. He still hated the thing. But for whatever reason, Ned was important to Tyler. He nodded to Tyler, gesturing to him to do the honors of clipping Ned to his belt loop. His hands rested on Josh’s waist for just a moment too long, or a moment too short, depending on how you looked at it.
“Covering you,” Tyler whispered, to Ned or Josh he wasn’t sure. Josh tangled his fingers in Tyler’s for a moment, hoping his touch could convey the sentiment back to his best friend.
The shoot finally ended. Josh was grateful he’d left his phone with Tyler. Collateral, he thought to himself. And since when did he and Tyler need collateral to know they would always come back to one another?
He walked up to the van as the first lights of dawn began to peek over the horizon. The van was covered in a slightly dewy dampness, so Josh used his sleeve to wipe away the condensation to look inside.
Lying in the driver's seat, still, for some reason, was Tyler. The seat was pushed all the way back and down, and Tyler was curled, looking so, so small in the morning light. Josh could see, peeking out from his arms was … his phone. Tyler had it gripped in his hand protectively, shielding it from the world. It was curled into his chest, resting right over his heart.
Josh now wished he did have his phone, if for no other reason than to have somewhere other than his mind to keep this image. Tyler was rarely still, was rarely calm. He was a constant flurry of motion, of chaos, and Josh loved him for it. But it also meant that Josh rarely got to take his friend in, rarely got to look at the way his lashes fluttered against his cheekbones, or the way his nostrils flared so cutely as he inhaled.
Josh’s heart squeezed in his chest at the sight, knowing this was also a side of Tyler no one got to see. This was the Tyler of their childhood, asleep on Josh’s bedroom floor after a long night of video games and ghost hunting in the backyard. This was a version of Tyler Josh hadn’t gotten to see in a while, and he realized in that moment just how much he had missed him.
Quietly, gently, he opened the van door. Unlocked, of course. As if Tyler had no regard for his own safety, choosing to be sound asleep in an abandoned parking lot in an unlocked van. Josh knew, of course, this was because Tyler did not have much regard for his safety. That made Josh’s chest squeeze in a different way.
He began to reach over Tyler, reaching for his phone and also the traitorous Ned the Labubu, to free them from Tyler’s grasp. As Josh leaned, he lost his balance, exhaustion and all, and landed with a huff of air on top of Tyler’s prone figure.
Tyler woke up with a start, clutching Josh’s phone and Ned even closer to him.
“Josh,” he mumbled weakly, pushing Josh off of him. “Don’t take Josh, please - ”
Tyler finally opened his eyes enough to see that it was, in fact, Josh on top of him. “Josh,” Tyler breathed out. “You came back,”
Josh blinked down at Tyler, eyes flickering over his sleep worn face. Tyler’s brow crinkled, and a small smile came over his lips. “You came back.”
Josh nodded, arms bracing themselves on either side of Tyler. He fought the urge, exhaustion, he was sure, to bury his face in Tyler’s chest and breathe him in and never let go. After all, his ass was just sticking out of the driver’s side, and it was only getting brighter out there.
“Can we go home?” He asked instead, bravely pushing himself off of Tyler and grabbing his phone in the process. Tyler nodded in response, reaching to kick the seat back into an upright position. He reached for Josh’s belt loop, stopping him from pulling away to unhook Ned, and then position him back in the cup holder.
Josh walked around to the passenger side, opening the back once again to deposit his bag, and then slid into the passenger seat.
Tyler had finished situating his seat, and glanced over to Josh as he got in and buckled his seatbelt.
“Sleep,” he said, looking at Josh. Josh opened his mouth to protest, but instead a yawn came out. “Sleep,” Tyler ordered again.
So Josh did. He awoke some time later, the sun having risen much higher in the sky, its warm rays dancing off of Tyler as Josh looked over to him. His hair was still tousled from his car nap, and based on the smirk on Tyler’s face, Josh’s must be mirroring his.
Tyler’s face changed, and then his eyes shot back to the road.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for spending company money, I’m sorry for yelling at you, I just - I don’t know, man. You know me. I’ve always been … a lot.”
He hesitated, and then continued. “But I was too much, this time, and I’m sorry.”He glanced down at Ned, in between them in the cup holder. “I’m sorry to you, too.”
Josh felt the swell of irritation, smaller than before, but still there, at Tyler addressing Ned.
“The doll can’t hear you. Or smell you,” Josh muttered. Tyler threw him a confused look. Josh hurried on, “I’m sorry too, Tyler. I’m sorry those guys said those things to you, I’m sorry for leaving.”
Tyler nodded, eyes darting back towards the road. “You didn’t have to do all that, for me. It was just a dumb joke,”
“But I did, Tyler. I did have to do that.” Josh replied, because it was true. “Because you’re not a freak, and you’re not dumb, and people shouldn’t talk about you like that and feel like they can say it to me, of all people. Like I was supposed to just find that funny? Maybe you - maybe you were right about them,” he concedes.
“Why couldn’t I have been right when I said they were treating you badly, too?” Tyler asked quietly. Josh didn’t have an answer.
“I’m most sorry, though,” Tyler spoke up again, a few minutes later. “That I was something dumb you had to deal with, with the long weekend.”
Josh felt his heart shatter. His words from the phone call came back to him now. He hadn’t meant it like that, surely Tyler knew. Josh was just exhausted. But not of Tyler.
They rode in silence for a few more miles, getting ready to get off at Josh’s exit.
Tyler looked over at him again. “I know, you’re exhausted. But, if you want, my couch is open. If you want to get some Taco Bell, watch something…” his voice trailed off, as if he already knew Josh’s answer. As if he thought Josh would, could deny him anything.
“Can we stop and get Jim first?” Josh responded. Tyler exhaled out his nose, but smiled, the emotion reaching all the way to his eyes.
“Yeah, of course,” he replied.
“Does Ned have to come?” Josh asked, childishly, before he could really think about what he was saying.
Tyler smirked, eyes darting over to Josh.
“So about that … I’ll have something to tell you later.”
Josh groaned, leaning his seat back. “Spare me for now,” he said dramatically, throwing his arm over his eyes. “I need at least one Crunchwrap supreme in my system before I hear anything more serious.”
Tyler laughed from the seat beside him. A beautiful sound, a sound Josh had missed.
“You got it, man,” Tyler replied, turning up the radio and letting them finish the ride in silence.
Tyler finally could sleep. He had slept in the van, of course. His body had crashed out of necessity, pure luck and adrenaline had gotten him to Josh in one piece, and subsequently gotten them to the next shoot location in one piece.
But now, Josh was on his couch, snuggled under one of his blankets. He looked at Josh, Jim’s head curled into his lap. Tyler almost wished he could lay down next to Jim, if only to have a spot so prized.
The Taco Bell wrappers were between them on the couch, the TV was softly playing some terrible ghost hunting show that they both loved to hate to loved. Tyler felt his eyelids getting droopy, and knew for the first time in days, he could truly rest.
“Hey, Josh,” he said, figuring there was no time like the present to bring up one more piece of information.
Josh blinked at him from the other end of the couch, sitting up and clearing some of the trash away, scooting closer to Tyler.
“What’s up?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Tyler loved when he did that.
“So, you know how Ned was PR from Redbull,” Tyler began, fiddling with the blanket beneath his fingers.
“Right…” Josh said slowly. “And?”
“And…so I may or may not have also negotiated a contract with them to do more Redbull content with Ned and me,” Tyler sputtered out hurriedly. He squinted his eyes shut, looking at Josh.
Josh groaned at this news, flopping now onto Tyler’s shoulder. His hair smelled like Tyler’s shampoo, and - it almost smelled like Josh might have put on some of Tyler’s cologne in the bathroom when he’d showered. Tyler breathed in, wondering if there was a better scent, a better sensation in this life or the next than Joshua William Dun, relaxed and pliant on his shoulder.
He reached an arm around Josh, patting his opposite shoulder.
“There, there,” he soothed with a chuckle. “We can be a throuple now!”
Josh groaned again, slumping further into Tyler and landing with his head in Tyler’s lap. This might be even better than the shoulder. Tyler fought the urge to card his fingers through Josh’s freshly shampooed curls, giving in only when Josh’s breathing became more even as he fell asleep in Tyler’s lap.