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Chuuya wanted to sneak into an adult movie. It was Joker, which, in his fifteen year-old opinion, didn’t seem like an adult movie. The only problem was that the movie was reserved for people ages eighteen and older without a parent, and—
“You look like a little preschooler with how tiny you are, Chibi,” stated Dazai, “so itty bitty. Even if you were fifty, the bouncer would never let you in.”
“Shut up, shitty Dazai! I’m only fifteen, I'M STILL GROWING!” He threw a slap at Dazai who dodged with ease.
He grinned, “I have an idea!”
==
Gathering the supplies was the easy part. Mori had a long, black coat that he would hang on the coatrack when he returned home. Dazai snuck downstairs, avoiding all of his siblings’ radar, and swiped the coat from the rack. His dad was working up in his office, so most likely he wouldn’t need it for a while.
Mori was busy, as usual. Fukuzawa was reserved to take Atsushi and Akutagawa to therapy meetings and boy scouts, and then Kenji was hanging out at a friend’s house, but would need to be picked up after dinner.
They gathered in the living room.
“Too bad your sister or brother couldn’t just act as the parent,” Chuuya muttered, starting to feel like he was making some sort of stupid mistake. He had slipped the coat on and was absolutely drowning in folds of black fabric. He had lost his hands somewhere in the sleeves, and couldn’t really walk.
“Just hop onto my shoulders and we’ll get going.” Dazai crouched down a little. Chuuya hopped onto his shoulders. The unexpected weight caused them to fall over and hit the floor, shaking the area.
“Boys, what was that?” Fukuzawa called from Atsushi’s room.
“Nohing!” Dazai replied quickly. He rolled over and sat up. “You should have warned me!”
“You said to hop onto your shoulder! It’s not my fault that you’ve got the muscle mass of a skeleton.” Chuuya struggled to get up, the coat causing him to stumble with every step.
“For someone so small you certainly weigh a lot,” Dazai snarked.
“Shut up about my height and just hold your ground!” He placed his hand on Dazai’s shoulder blade. “I’m gonna jump onto you now.” He waited a moment before jumping onto Dazai’s back and doing his best to settle onto his shoulders. Dazai wobbled around. “Hold still!” His hand wiggled out of the long sleeve and tried to find balance by gripping at Dazai’s head.
“OW-OW-OW!”
“This was a terrible idea, MACKEREL!” Chuuya said, wobbling on his shoulders.
“Shut up, SLUG!”
“Your plans are always terrible.”
If you just were taller, you probably wouldn’t even be facing this problem!”
“Shut up about my height, Dazai. I’m only fifteen, I’m still growing!” He yanked Dazai’s hair hard, probably pulling out a few strands.
“Boys, what’s going ON over there?” Fukuzawa called.
“Daaaaad!” Atsushi called from the doorway. He had been standing there for a while now, watching them. At that moment, the two of them tumbled to the floor in a blur of black fabric, orange hair, and insults.
Mori, Fukuzawa, and the rest of the siblings in the house came running. There they found Dazai on the floor with Chuuya’s legs wrapped around his neck. Chuuya was also on the floor, tangled in Mori’s coat. The older men of the household immediately rushed and helped the boys up, checking them over for injuries.
“What the heck is going on here?” Mori demanded, helping Chuuya out of his coat.
“Ask the mackerel,” answered Chuuya.
The adults’ heads rounded on Dazai. He sang.
“Chuuya wanted to see an adult movie in the theatres, so I devised an amazing plan to go as two gnomes in a trench coat and we can get a ticket for one adult. And since Chibi is so small, we could probably sit in the same seat and nobody would notice two people–”
“Shut it about my size! This was a terrible idea, Dazai.” Turning to Mori. “I’m sorry, Mori-san.”
“If a movie is too old for you, then you shouldn’t try to find ways around the system, boys,” Fukuzawa said. “Don’t try this again.”
“Sorry, dad,” Dazai said.
“Sorry, sir.”
“Why don’t you two go downtown and entertain yourselves there. I need to get going soon.” He patted Dazai on the head. “Just… promise me you won’t get into any more trouble…”
“Yes, dad. Come on, chibi! Let’s go see Oda and Ango!” Dazai took Chuuya’s hand and led him out of his room and out of the house.
Mori and Fukuzawa looked at each other tiredly. Fukuzawa signed. “Is that too much to ask?” To that, his partner simply shrugged.