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If I could see you one last time, I’d tell you you’re beautiful. I’d let you know how your grin outshines all the spotlights we have pointed at us, how your voice sounded smooth like butter to my ears, even when interrupted. I’d tell you how you look amazing whether you let your white roots peek out from your jet black hair or not, I’d tell you how I miss you more than anything.
Oh my star, if only I could make you mine once again – If only I could smother my face on the crease of your shoulder even with as awkward of a fit that always was, and even if for only a second be able to mask how uneasy everything feels all the time, how I’m not sure about anything, and just tell you how much I love, love, love you, a million times over until I’ve said enough to surpass the fact that I didn’t have the guts to say it not even once while I could. Forgive me Heaven for I have sinned, I let the love of my life slip from my hands.
Could you tell me what they offered you? Could you fill me in? Could you let me peek into your hundreds of secrets, comb through them and fish you out of your misery? Can I be a part of you forever, as much as the acid that burns your skin? Let me become one with you, melt you away, change you forever and mold you my way.
If I could be in your arms once more, I’d shrink just so you can wrap them around me. I wish I could shrink myself so far that you could hold me in your hands, and tell me everything is okay. Was anything ever fine? Were any of your smiles derived from the bottom of your heart, or were all of them carved out of porcelain? For all the static that crackles as white noise on my screen, nothing compares to the rain of waiting for you here.
You told me you’d show me the world. You told me we would conquer it together, that when all hell breaks loose, we’d be standing on top of it leading the waves of fire on. But nothing burns more than grieving something you never got to see the grave of.
Farewell ventriloquist man, for you wear my heart on your wooden ribcage and I shall never see it again.