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“Sam?” Dean asked as he stepped into their bedroom that night.
“Yeah?” Sam looked up from his book, slightly wary at Dean’s tone.
“Just got a call,” Dean said while walking over to the bed and sitting down next to Sam. “Mom’s coming home.”
Sam closed his book, letting it fall to his lap with a muted thump. “When?”
“Tomorrow night,” Dean replied, voice heavy as he looked over at his brother.
“We gonna do it then?” Sam asked.
“Mhm,” Dean hummed. “Well, maybe the day after.”
Sam hummed in agreement, his head falling back to the wall behind the bed so he could better look at his brother.
“Sammy-”
“No, I think we should, Dean. We’ve kept it from her for too long,” Sam replied with a sigh.
This wasn’t the first time they had talked about finally telling their mother about their family and their relationship. There was a huge possibility of her disowning and abandoning them again, not being able to deal with her sons (that she still remembered being little in heaven) being in an incestous relationship for quite a while now. And not just that but also them having children together. Jack being their son might be easier to swallow for her, seeing as he was not born out of incest but Tom would probably be a whole other story.
But they had pushed this conversation back for too long and it really was time to tell her if they wanted to be able to be an actual family all of them together and not have to hide so much in their own home anymore.
Mary had apparently been missing them and finally decided to let the constant hunting go for a bit in order to rest up and be at the bunker with them and it gave them the opportunity to finally come clean.
Sam had suspected that something had happened between her and the other Bobby but he didn’t like thinking about them too much so he just accepted it when she had told them about her plans to return in the near future a while ago. The near future was apparently tomorrow and Sam could feel his stomach flip just at the thought of finally telling her.
“Hey,” Dean said, bringing Sam out of his thoughts as he draped an arm around him. “No need to stress about it now, let’s just sleep, see if Tom will make it past 5 am this time, okay?”
Sam twisted his head, looking at the crib on the opposite side of the room but nodded. He grabbed his book to place it on the nightstand before he turned back to lay down next to Dean.
“I pumped, so if he’s up before 5, it’s your turn,” Sam grumbled good-naturedly, knowing he would get up to feed their son regardless.
–
Mary’s arrival went surprisingly calm at first. There weren’t too many of the apocalypse hunters living in the bunker anymore, most having moved out into their own places over the past few months, but the ones that were still there greeted her happily and spent a few hours exchanging information and stories.
Sam and Dean mingled too, one of them checking on the sleeping Tom a few times, while Jack kinda clung to Dean’s side. It was good to have their mom back and to see everyone come together which happened pretty rarely lately.
It was getting late though and Dean ushered Jack back to their living quarters not too long after, excusing themselves with the need of sleep.
That night's sleep wasn’t nearly as restful as the last one though and Sam was up by five thirty already when Tom woke up cranky and hungry. Sam was glad for the distraction of feeding their son, rocking him back to sleep before indulging in an extra long shower to keep his mind off things.
While the infant had no problem falling back asleep, Sam knew there was no use in him trying to go back to bed so he tried to enjoy his shower as best he could.
Freshly showered and as relaxed as he could be in the face of what they had planned to do today he walked down the small hallway until he reached their kitchen. It was easy to clean up a little before he set up the coffee pot, knowing he’d need it that day, especially with that early of a start.
The smell of coffee quickly filled the room as he rifled through their cabinets to decide what to make them for breakfast. It was a sunday and with no school, Sam would be able to make Jack some breakfast the teen could actually enjoy without having to rush off to school.
The smell of coffee lured Dean out into the kitchen twenty minutes later and they enjoyed their first cup of the day in companionable silence, ankles bumping under the table.
“Soo..” Sam said after his coffee had long run out, trailing off at the end.
“Soo…,” Dean echoed.
Sam sighed and suppressed the want to roll his eyes. “When do you wanna tell mom?”
“I don’t know, when do you think?”
He should’ve expected Dean to evade the question and put it on Sam but it still annoyed him and he huffed in disapproval. “I asked first,” he mumbled petulantly.
There was an awkward silence for a few moments before Sam got up to put their cups back next to the coffee maker and gave in. “I don’t know, maybe after Tom’s morning nap? He’s usually pretty good then and I don’t think I want to have that conversation with a full stomach if we do it after lunch.”
“Yeah, sounds good, Sammy.” The chair squeaked when Dean got up and a second later arms wrapped around Sam’s waist. “So I’ll get dressed and then breakfast?” Dean asked hopefully.
“Sure,” Sam replied, this time rolling his eyes.
Dean moved back but Sam pulled at his dead guy robe to pull him back in, looking at his brother expectantly.
His brother chuckled but leaned in, pressing his lips to Sam’s and pulling him closer for a moment to kiss him properly.
“Bitch,” Dean said when he finally freed himself from Sam, grinning.
“Jerk,” Sam repeated, adjusting his shirt to cover his belly again where Dean had rucked it up.
..
Sam’s plan was waylaid when there was an insistent knock on the door that connected their living space to the rest of the bunker while Sam was cooking up the last of the french toast. Tom sat happily gurgling in his carrier while Jack was waving a baby toy in front of him to keep him entertained.
Their oldest was still in his pajamas and Sam had smiled at him fondly when he had offered to watch his brother, along with Miracle, while Sam made them breakfast. Sam was pretty sure it had something to do with the growling stomach he could hear coming from Jack but he wasn’t going to turn down the offered help.
Dean thankfully went to get the door and where Sam had expected his brother to maybe leave and help whoever needed it, two sets of footsteps shuffled into the kitchen instead.
Sam turned away from the stove to see what was going on when he felt his heart stumble at not just Dean but also their mom standing in the kitchen.
“Mom-” Sam gasped, flushing at how surprised he sounded.
“Sam,” Mary answered, looking at him and the stove in interest.
“Breakfast?” he squeaked out, pointing to the scrambled eggs with his spatula.
Mary nodded. “Sure.” And as if she had just then registered the other occupants, she turned to their sons and the dog that were already sitting at the table. “Hey boys,” she greeted them, reaching out and even scratching Miracle behind the ear.
Sam turned to Dean while their mother was sitting down, staring at him wide eyed and panicked. Dean only returned his gaze with a similar expression.
He took a deep breath, pulling the pan off the stove and scraping the eggs into the waiting bowl, forcing his brain to calm down and let him feed his family first before freaking out too badly. This didn’t mean that they had to immediately tell her everything, hell, she hadn’t even said why she had come around yet and maybe it was something totally different. Maybe she just wanted to spend some time with them - just because they wanted to tell her didn’t mean that she was curious or suspicious of them, right?
The bowl was taken from his hands by his brother who placed it on the table, pushing the plate with pancakes out of the way. To distract himself,Sam made sure to grab another plate setting for Mary so she could eat breakfast with them.
“That’s quite the spread,” she said as Sam placed down the cutlery and poured her a cup of coffee.
“It’s Sunday," Sam said, shrugging.
After settling in with Tom and them really feeling like a full-fletched family now, Sam had decided to try and make Sunday breakfast a family affair. During the week Dean was usually still asleep when Jack had breakfast and mealtimes were often interrupted by school work or hunts or research and he wanted them to at least have a couple meals that they ate together every week - so on Sunday’s Sam tried to put in the effort and make a nice breakfast for all of them.
He wouldn’t call himself a great cook and he wouldn’t necessarily say it was his favorite thing to do but by now he enjoyed it so he kept at it and it seemed to bring them together even more.
Their mother smiled at him, though it looked a little confused and uncertain. She was quickly distracted though when Dean handed her the bacon and at least for the time it actually took them to eat there was no tension and things were looking fine.
..
They took their time with breakfast and Dean poured them all another round of coffee but it had to end at some point and that point came much quicker than Sam had hoped for.
Mary leaned back, folding her hands over her stomach and looked between Sam and Dean where they sat across from her.
“So how was hunt-” Dean began hastily, probably hoping to push the conversation they were anticipating by now, whether it was actually about their relationship status or just another uncomfortably awkward conversation, back but luck wasn’t on their side when Mary narrowed her eyes at Dean.
“That’s kind of why I came here this morning,” she said and now both Sam and Dean looked confused.
“It was good, fine, dispatched a lot of monsters but when I came back from the dead I really had hoped to actually be a family with you guys,” Mary continued, only increasing Sam’s confusion.
Mary had left voluntarily these last few months, had told them about wanting to spend time figuring things out and getting to terms with coming back from the dead, from being stuck in the apocalypse world and with how hunting would fit in her life. She also had gone out to spend time, maybe hunting, with the other Bobby and they had supported her decisions but it wasn't like they hadn’t wanted her at the bunker with them.
Jack snorted quietly, maybe thinking along the same lines and Sam was worried that he would accidentally say something snarky, a trait he had picked up from both Sam and Dean lately. Thankfully he didn’t and just continued to pet Miracle who had put his head in Jack’s lap like he so often did.
Mary looked at Jack with a raised eyebrow but didn’t verbally react to their son which Sam was thankful for. “I needed to find my place in this world and time, you guys know that,” she said.
They nodded when she didn’t continue immediately. Whatever talk this was going to be was inevitable now and there was no use in dragging it out any longer.
“I know I was gone for longer than expected but I had to figure out what I wanted to do, who I was and who I could be here,” she continued before pausing again. “But I have always been your mother and while I want to keep hunting, I want to be your mother. I want us to be a real family but for us to be you guys need to stop hiding here. I understood that when all the apocalypse guys came over it was a big change and I understand the need for privacy but this is ridiculous.” Mary’s voice became more passionate the longer she spoke, looking between them and gesturing to the kitchen and doorway. “It’s like you’re shutting us, me , out.”
“Mom-,” Dean started to say but got interrupted.
“Jack-,” Sam said simultaneously.
Dean looked at him curiously at Sam, letting him talk.
“Jack, you can go if you want. I know you still got that game that you wanted to play,” Sam said, looking at their son and hoping he understood the meaning. Jack could stay for this, sure, but it wasn’t necessary and Sam would rather not have their son witness whatever disaster this might turn out to be.
“Okay,” Jack said, relief in his voice as he got up from the chair, taking his half-full mug of chocolate milk with him as he and Miracle left the kitchen.
Mary looked a little put-out at that but Sam ignored it, draining the last of his coffee before it got cold.
“Mom,” Dean said again, pulling her focus back on him. “We’re not shutting you out. You haven’t been here in weeks, hell months and you can’t blame us for wanting our home to be
our
home.” He too leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms and staring at their mother.
Sam had known that Dean was more affected by Mary’s leaving than he was but he was still surprised at the displeasure in his voice. He had expected him to try and be more forgiving or understanding but apparently his brother wasn’t feeling so generous.
“That’s not-,” Mary countered. “You guys know why I had to leave but I am back and this is not just your home, right? It’s ours.”
“No, mom, this is ours ,” Dean replied, pointing to him and Sam before gesturing around their kitchen, clearly meaning their separate living space. “We build this for us, for me and Sam and the boys.”
“That’s another thing. It’s great that you’ve taken Jack in but shouldn’t he-”
And now Sam had to interrupt her because whatever she would say would probably be wrong or at the very least unwelcome. “Mom, Jack is fine here, he is part of the family. He wants to be here,” he assured her, not wanting her to entertain any other thought.
“I heard him call you mom,” she blurted out and at the speed it shot out of her, they all knew that this was actually what she wanted to talk about.
“Yes he does,” Sam just said, matter of factly.
“That’s-, I don’t-, why?” She finally stammered out.
Sam was just about to answer when Dean beat him to the punch.
“Because that’s what Sam is to him, somebody who always takes care of him, who loves him unconditionally, who is there for him,” Dean replied. The barb at their own mother and her less than stellar record of being a mother to them, though they knew she couldn’t always be blamed for it.
The dig didn’t escape Mary either and she flinched slightly before her face hardened again. “Okay, so Sam is Jack’s stand-in mother, that makes you what? His uncle?” She asked, looking towards Dean.
Dean’s jaw twitched and he took a deep breath before speaking again. “You really wanna do this whole skirting around thing, mom? If you heard him call Sam mom, you must’ve heard him call me dad too.”
“Yes, but-”
“Just spit it out.”
Mary’s palm hit the table, making their mugs rattle. “Fine! I want no more secrets, no more lies,” she demanded.
Her outburst made Sam flinch but his own reaction was immediately forgotten when Tom began crying in his seat. It was out of pure reflex that Sam threw his mother a withering look at upsetting their youngest while he got up to hold and soothe the crying infant.
“Shhh, shhh, you’re okay, baby,” Sam whispered as he rocked him gently, trying to get him to calm down again. It hurt him to hear their son cry, especially for such a stupid reason and he wanted to scold his mother even though he could understand why she was irritated.
Pacing up and down the kitchen, humming lowly and stroking Tom’s belly soothingly thankfully made their son calm down after a few minutes and Sam sighed in relief. It would soon be time for him to nap again and he hadn’t been sure that he wouldn’t keep crying if he had already been getting cranky and tired.
Sam sat back down after another few moments, Tom still held in his arms to keep him close and calm. Dean leaned over and tickled Tom’s chin, making the baby grin and gurgle happily at seeing his father. After a second his brother looked up at him with a questioning gaze and Sam willingly handed the infant over, helping him to settle in the crook of Dean’s arm. He ran his hand over their son’s sparse hair before poking at his nose once.
“I’m sorry,” Mary said and broke them both out of the hold Tom was having over them. They looked back at her and Sam nodded curtly, accepting her apology. She didn’t do it on purpose, he knew, and there was no reason to make this whole conversation even harder.
“You really want to know?” Dean asked, bringing them back to the topic at hand.
“Yes, everything. I want you guys to stop with the secrets,” Mary confirmed.
“Everything?” Sam asked, wanting to give her one last out.
“Everything,” Mary said, her voice even but with conviction.
“Okay,” Dean replied, almost solemnly.
Sam took a deep breath, looking over at where Dean was cradling their youngest and decided that if she wanted it all, they’d might as well drop everything on her at once.
“Tom,” Sam started, nodding at the infant in Dean’s arms. “He’s ours, biologically. I was pregnant, Dean is the other father,” he continued and pulled his shirt up, showing off the stretch marks and the surgery scar he had made Jack keep on him.
“You-”
“We’re together, as in a relationship, life partners, whatever you wanna call it,” Sam said, finally putting it all out there for her to know and judge.
“You and Dean-”, she said, suddenly quiet. “I didn’t want to see it, put it together but it just looks like-, like. But you can’t-”
And this would be it. This would be the moment they would ruin whatever relationship they had left with their mother because of their secret. They had gotten comfortable in their relationship, in the lives they were leading now and the thought of losing their mom again due to it made bile rise up Sam’s throat.
“We’re a family, mom. Jack and Tom and Sam and me,” Dean summed up what they had just said, pressing a careful kiss to Tom’s forehead for emphasis.
“You’re brothers.” Their mother’s voice was a mixture of disbelief and disgust.
“We know.”
“But that’s-” Mary stammered. “That’s incest.”
“Yes,” Sam confirmed.
“H-how long?”
“Year and a half or so,” Dean said. “Since Jack’s been living with us.”
Mary’s shoulders slumped a little and Sam wasn’t sure what to read into it. Was she glad that it was finally confirmed, out in the open? Was she glad that they hadn’t been together longer, perhaps since they were much younger? Or was she hoping that this meant that there still was the chance that she could force them apart since it technically hadn’t been that long of a relationship yet?
“I don’t-” she just said and fell silent again. Mary sat across from them, shaking her head and looking at them disbelievingly.
“Let me explain then,” Dean said and his tone was firm, not to be negotiated with.
Mary nodded, looking down at where her coffee had definitely gone cold by now.
“All our lives it has only been us. Just me and Sam. Dad was hell bent on finding what killed you and I’m going to spare you our sob story but it was just him and I. And yes, we’ve had our falling outs and problems but we made it work again and again and again because it’s always been us against the world and that’s how it’s going to continue to be. You need someone to rely on in this world, you know that and for me that’s Sam and I’m that for him. So yes, this is incest and wrong and bad and illegal but he’s it for me and I won’t let you drive a wedge between that.” Dean stopped to breathe. There was a determination in his eyes, staring Mary down and hoping she would understand them.
Sam could see him gearing up to continue a moment later and he just had to add something beforehand. “We’ve been with other people, we’ve tried to live the normal white picket fence life but it never worked out. He’s it for me too, mom, that’s what you need to understand. This isn’t something delusional or however you want to explain this to yourself. We’re happy together, we’ve started a family together.”
“I don’t understand,” she muttered. “I just don’t understand how you could do that. How can you-”
“You don’t have to understand. We’re a family and you can’t change that. You just need to decide if you can live with it or not.”
She didn’t reply to that, almost like she hadn’t heard it and was still processing the rest of the information she had just been told.
“You were pregnant?” She asked, almost out of the blue and looked at Sam.
It surprised him that this was what she wanted to focus on but Sam nodded. “Yeah.”
“How?”
He huffed out a breath, thinking it should be obvious. “Enough spells out there to do and become anything you want to be when you know where to look and who to ask.”
Mary lifted her eyebrows, looking at him incredulously. “You magicked up a baby?” she asked, her gaze turning wary as she turned towards their infant.
Dean narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t say anything, only pulled Tom a little closer towards himself. He looked at Sam for a moment, scanning his reaction and Sam guessed that he wanted to see how they should play this and who should reply.
“No,” Sam answered. “One, that’s not what happened. Two, I don’t think you want to know the details.”
“I don’t understand,” she muttered once more. “I mean how can you take something as precious as a child and add witchcraft? I thought you guys knew how dangerous that was, I mean-,” Mary stopped, shaking her head.
“Mom,” Dean warned her, voice growing harder.
“Dean, I’m just saying that I thought you guys would know better. What you’re doing is already bad enough but we’ve all seen what witchcraft can do and to risk it when-”
“This wasn’t a decision on a whim. And, we had the help of probably the most powerful witch out there that has saved our ass, and yours, multiple times.” Sam said and he couldn’t force back the irritation he felt. He knew this must be a lot to take in for their mother and she was so far reacting far better than they could’ve hoped for but still. Having Tom wasn’t a naive, thoughtless decision and it wasn’t reckless and the fact that she was implying that they, that Sam , had put the health and life of their son at risk hurt.
“But it was still unnatural,” Mary cried out.
“Our whole lives are,” Sam countered, just as passionate when it came to their sons. “We’ve been fighting monsters all our lives, you literally came back from the dead. You made a deal with a demon before so I don’t think that you can-” Sam cut himself off there.
“For god’s sake, you’re brothers,” she blurted into the silence, still worked up and there now was anger and frustration in her tone.
Sam guessed that this was the actual thing she had a problem with. And well, Sam couldn’t deny that or fault her for it. He remembered the girl in the walls in Nebraska and how disgusting it had made him feel then but this was different, wasn’t it? He and Dean, they both wanted it, there was not one forcing the other and they had been through far more life and death and trauma and just crazy things than that family had been, they were bonded in a totally different way. Right?
“I just-, I can just still see you, Dean, fawning over the girls in Full House and the news anchors. I always wanted a normal life for you, that’s why I got away from hunting-”
And Sam felt oddly cast aside by that, like he had so many times when it came to their mom. He had never had a relationship with her, had had no memories of her and this hurt, knowing that even as adults she hadn’t been able to build a bond with him like she did with Dean. And maybe it hurt too because it wasn’t like what she was saying never crossed Sam’s mind. Dean deserved normal, he deserved to get out and he knew that they swore to each other that this was all they wanted, that they were happy like this but maybe they were still doubts in Sam’s mind that Dean was doing this partly out of some misguided sense of having to take care of Sam for all his life.
“And now with your brother,” she stopped to take a breath. “I know that your father told you to always look out for him but this was not what he meant. He would have wanted you to have a normal life, I know that.”
Sam’s stomach sank even further, disappointment with himself warring with the anger that was rising on Dean’s behalf.
“Dean is a grown man, he can make his own decision,” Sam interrupted her, even though he understood her worries, but she was undermining Dean and he couldn’t let that stand.
“I know that but Sam you can’t really think that this is a normal life, that this is right. You pretending to be a mother. Dean, hell, both of you, could have a normal life and yet you play house with the devil’s son and a baby that shouldn’t even exist to begin with,” her voice was beginning to rise again and it made Tom squirm in Dean’s arms. “There are still people out there apart from Sam-”
“Sam is who I want,” Dean said, voice louder to cut their mother off. “I don’t think that you understand what’s going on here, mom, but I won’t let you insult Sam or our sons in our own home. Sam didn’t force me or make me or anything!”
Mary looked taken back but like she was rearing to argue some more too, probably wanting to convince Dean that he could do better.
“I think,” Sam said, and it sounded too loud and too vulnerable in the sudden stillness. “I think we all need to calm down and cool off.”
There were twin scoffs coming from both Dean and Mary, something twisting inside him at the resemblance between them.
“You know now, mom. You know where we stand and that you won’t change our minds,” he continued, his voice firm. “You should take some time to think about this. We would love to have you as part of this family but there is no point in arguing with you and if you can’t accept us then I think it would be best if we maybe kept things only about hunting between us.”
Mary looked at him with disbelief before she shook her head and got up, her chair scraping along the floor. Her steps sounded too loud as she walked out of their place, the door falling shut with a bang that made Sam flinch.
He let out a sigh, deep down knowing this might have just been the last time he saw his mother as his mother. They had lost her once before and-
Softer footsteps made him look up and Jack walked up to him, throwing his arms around Sam, keeping his thoughts from spiraling. “It’s gonna be okay, mom,” he said, muffled by Sam’s shoulder but it still managed to lighten the heaviness in his heart just a little.
“You shouldn’t have had to listen to all that, Jack,” Sam said, rubbing his hand up and down their son’s back because he knew that that was exactly what Jack had been doing. “We love you guys and our family and she could never change our minds,” he added, kissing the top of Jack’s head.
“I know, mom,” Jack said, only squeezing him harder.
Sam looked up and shared a sad, grimaced smile with Dean, hoping for the best but not expecting it. They would need to talk, probably hash things out between them and what they would do depending on Mary’s reaction but for now they had to take care of their sons first - Tom needed a nap and Jack a lazy sunday with them and at least that, they could give them.
—
It took weeks and it wasn’t a lot but when Mary texted them to wish them a Merry Christmas and asked them if they had any plans for New Years yet they started to have some hope again that they might be able to build a new kind of relationship with their mother.