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Clark isn’t scared of the Justice League. Really.
He’s been at this long enough that he’s confident in what he’s doing. Plus, he’s already worked with the other heroes on occasion and trusts in their skills, at least enough to manage a first meeting. Superman has literally faced down alien invasions. He got cancelled on Twitter once. He can handle this.
It’s just that, perhaps a little selfishly, Clark really wants this whole League venture to go well. Superman personally reached out to the others, Superman is the one who organised the meeting at the new Hall of Justice tomorrow, and Superman is who will be to blame if they crash and burn disastrously. So really, it’s not that he’s scared, he just wants to be prepared.
Besides, what would Lois say if he didn’t do some research beforehand? A good bit of planning is just part of his integrity as a reporter.
And so, Clark finds himself at 1am, hunched over his desk, scrolling how-to articles until he stumbles upon the gem he needs.
“5 steps for creating a close-knit and efficient team in your workplace.”
Perfect.
- Get to know your teammates and set goals together
“Alright, so. Hi everybody! Thanks for coming out. I thought we could start by just introducing ourselves and saying a little about what we hope to achieve here as a team.” Clark smiles. Nine pairs of eyes bore into him. A cough echoes off the walls.
“Icebreakers? Seriously?” The masked Green Lantern asks. His counterpart with the glowing eyes elbows him.
“Just thought it would be a good way to… break the ice.” Clark responds lamely. The little voice inside his head groans in despair. It sounds a lot like Lois. “I can go first! I’m Superman, as you might know, and I’m looking to make a wider positive impact in the world, and learn from a team of diverse perspectives and experiences.” Okay, so far so good. Nice job Kent. Just like being on the other side of an interview. “And whilst there’s no pressure to share identities if anyone is uncomfortable, I just wanted to show some good faith. So. My name’s Clark Kent, I’m a reporter from Metropolis, and, well, it’s nice to meet you all!”
The audience of heroes smile warmly at Clark, with a smattering of enthusiastic applause from Green Arrow. He quickly sits back down in relief.
Next, Wonder Woman stands up. “Hello everyone! My name is Diana, princess of Themyscira and daughter of Queen Hippolyta. I am here to champion a message of justice, peace and truth in your world. I greatly look forward to our adventures together.”
“Hi there, I’m John Stewart, Green Lantern.” The man with green eyes waves politely. “I’m an architect in Detroit when I’m on-planet. I want to do whatever I can to protect this Sector from anything threatening its safety, and working with the League would be a great opportunity to continue that. It’s nice to meet you all.”
“Hey guys, the other Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, good to meet you.” He smiles flirtatiously at the group. Clark looks away with a cough. “You’ve already met my delightful partner in space heroism. In my free time, I like deep conversation, long walks on the beaches of Mogo, and I work as a test pilot in Coast City. Oh, and I also want to keep the Earth safe.”
Flash and Arrow chuckle, but Clark swears he sees Batman rolls his eyes. No problem, he tells himself. A little workplace conflict is healthy. Success is the sum of the challenges you face together. He read that on a poster in Perry’s office. Maybe he should get one for the Hall?
The rest of the introductions echo similar positive sentiments. The Flash is Barry Allen, a very enthusiastic forensic scientist from Central. Clark is intrigued to meet another lone alien in Martian Manhunter, who offer the names John Jones and J’onn Jonzz. He makes a mental note to practice the proper pronunciation. Aquaman- the King of Atlantis, also known as Arthur Curry- waves a trident around as he speaks passionately, banging into the table with a heavy clang. They all want to make a difference, help people, use their powers for good. Simple, but effective. Clark smiles brightly as Arthur finishes speaking.
He is very surprised to see the Green Arrow is Star City celebrity Oliver Queen— a man Clark had once quoted claiming that Lex Luthor was such an ‘angry guy’ because he was ‘jealous of his goatee’. The archer seems nice enough, although he confuses the group by quoting Karl Marx in his mission statement. But nothing compares to the shock when Black Canary introduces herself as national punk-rock legend Dinah Lance. As a respectable and professional leader, Clark nods along as she speaks, restraining himself for saying how much he loved her last single. Gosh, Lois would so be freaking out right now.
There’s a little small talk after Dinah sits back down— Barry has a hundred questions about rockstar life, and Diana writes down the name of her last album with promises to have finished it by the next meeting (and that definitely counts as creating goals together! They’re already on their way to being a proper team). Eventually, the chatter quietens, and the League turns expectantly to their final member.
He stands up silently.
“I’m Batman.”
“What a way with words, Spooky.” Hal calls out. Batman glares. Clark is definitely going to need that poster.
“Nice to meet you, Batman.” He interjects, before Hal can poke the bear- bat- any further. “Anything you’d like to share about your future goals for the group?”
“Whilst I appreciate the sentiment of ‘doing good’,” he says in an unimpressed tone which makes Clark think he does not appreciate the sentiment at all, “There’s some specifics I’d like to go over.”
With a click, the lights go out. A slideshow appears on the wall.
“Where did he get a projector from?” Flash whispers. Oliver shrugs.
“To start with, I’d like to cover the name ‘the Justice League’…”
It’s safe to say that some very meticulous goals are set in that meeting. The team were all present and technically contributed, so Clark takes it as a win. He checks step 1 off the list.
- Establishing a universal means of team communication
At the second step, Clark hits his first hurdle. One of the handy perks of being a flying alien is that he can usually find his fellow heroes in person pretty quickly when he wants a chat. At the Daily Planet, they have an email thread, but he wouldn’t know where to start with the team’s addresses. @lantern.org.space?
He thinks it might be best to outsource for this one. Team problem-solving is an important skill, after all.
Barry will know what to do.
Oliver is cooking dinner when his phone blows up.
Not literally, just to clarify, since you never really know nowadays. It’s a phrase Roy kept saying when videos of Speedy first went viral, and sue Ollie, maybe he’s trying to incorporate some new slang into his life. He tells Dinah he’s trying to stay in touch with the interests and attitudes of all demographics in Star City. Young people are the primary force driving societal change, after all. Dinah tells him he’s getting old. Ollie agrees to disagree.
His notifications come from a text chain, created a few minutes ago.
[20:15] Flash created the group “JL”.
[20:16] You’ve been added to the group “JL” by Flash.
Flash: hey guys! thought id make us a group to talk on :)
Flash: also i don’t think arthur has a phone underwater so if someone knows how to contact him that would be great :)
Lantern 2: why the fuck am I lantern 2
Lantern 2: i literally knew you before john did
Lantern 1: I think saying my name ruins the point of going by aliases on here.
Lantern 2: stfu lantern 3
“Hey Dinah!” Ollie shouts into the next room. “Have you seen these League texts?”
“Is it an emergency?” She calls back.
Ollie checks the chat again. The Flash has sent 3 consecutive gifs.
“Don’t think so!” He answers.
“Not getting involved!” She replies decisively. “Let me know when dinner is ready!”
Wonder Woman: Hello! Thank you for creating the group Flash.
Lantern 2: flash let me change my name
Lantern 1: Do not give him admin powers.
Flash: that doesn’t seem like a great idea, sorry man :(
Lantern 2: wtf
Lantern 2: fascist
Green Arrow: It doesn’t seem right for only one of us to have control over the group chat, we should share out the power between us
Green Arrow: except for Hal
Lantern 2: OLLIE
Martian Manhunter: I do think we should be wary of sharing identifying information on this chat.
Superman: I was wondering if anybody had any suggestions for what meeting times would work best for the group? Whenever everybody is free!
Wonder Woman: I am free on Saturdays!
Lantern 2: i am not spending my saturday nights with you guys
Lantern 2: no offense
Flash: ive got a date with Iris this weekend but im free the weekend after? saturday morning? :)
Green Arrow: Me and Dinah can do next Saturday
Green Arrow: Also Barry stop texting like a teenage girl
Flash: :(
Martian Manhunter: Again, I believe we should be mindful of using details from our real life identities as well as our hero personas online.
Wonder Woman: Good point Martian Manhunter, we will bear it in mind. Can we please clarify a specific time for next weekend’s meeting?
Superman: 7am?
Green Lantern 2: make that 9
Green Arrow: More like 10
Superman: 10am would work!
Green Lantern 1: Flash could you create a group calendar link in the chat?
Flash: good idea!!
Flash: how do i do that?
Green Lantern 2: someone ask spooky, he’s basically tech support
Wonder Woman: He did make a very good PowerPoint.
Flash: superman could you please ask him? i dont have his number
Superman: will do!
[20:31] The group “JL” was deleted.
Ollie frowns, refreshing the app to no avail. He turns his phone on and off, but all traces of the group have disappeared.
Another text comes through.
Unknown number: I cannot stress this enough, do not speak about League business on group chats.
Unknown number: I will provide a secure form of communication shortly.
Unknown number: And a group calendar.
Seems fair enough. Ollie writes a note on the fridge for Dinah to remember the next meeting, and to look out for any mysterious gifts from Batman. He contemplates the list for a minute. What is he forgetting?
Smoke fills the air.
“Ollie!” Dinah shouts from the other room. “Check the oven!”
Their dinner is burnt beyond repair. Ollie orders takeout.
At the next meeting, Clark is handed a box containing a comm and a fully encrypted work phone. He checks step 2 off of his list.
- Share out the workload equally
3 weeks after the group chat debacle, Clark comes into the Hall of Justice armed with his greatest plan yet: a chore chart.
Now, a bit of background information, for context. (An origin story, if you will.) When he first moved to Metropolis and was a little strapped for cash, Clark roomed with Jimmy Olsen in a shitty 2-bed apartment with a mold problem in the bathroom. Fresh from Kansas, Clark had been much more used to jobs like “move the hay bales” and not “solve the mold problem”, so they used a markerboard and most importantly, some communication, to share the workload fairly. Before their building was shut down, Clark would call his tenancy with Jimmy a resounding success, all thanks to the chart.
Clark props it up against the wall, not quite ready to risk a hammer and nails in the new building. He writes down each member’s name with their own colourful erasable marker, going to great care to find three different shades of green for the Lanterns and Arrow. He gave up on a fourth and just bought pink for J’onn, but he hopes the Martian won’t mind too much.
“What is this.”
Clark jumps out of his skin.
“Batman!” He laughs nervously, floating back to the ground as subtly as possible. Real smooth, Kent. He coughs and uses his professional, talking-to-the-Chief voice. “I thought it would be beneficial to delegate work through a recorded system with this… work… board.”
“That’s a chore chart. For children.”
“No, it’s an official work delegation board. For superheroes.”
Flash takes the opportunity to run into the meeting on time, for the first time in the League’s short history. “Oh cool chart! Can we make a chore wheel as well?”
Clark slumps his head in defeat.
Batman speaks beside him. “I don’t believe that a chart, and for that matter a wheel, would work as an effective method of distributing responsibilities among the League. To begin with, the weight of ‘chores’ is already heavily imbalanced within the group based on skill set. I do not believe that a Martian would be able to manage Public Relations with the media, nor an Atlantian capable of setting up our cybersecurity measures. And I don’t need to remind present company of our last poorly thought-out attempts to establish an online team system.” He directs a pointed look at Barry, who holds up his hands sheepishly. “Designations agreed upon in meetings and distributed via the League-wide intranet I have designed would be much more efficient.”
The bat pauses. At Clark’s despondent expression, he continues hesitantly. “However. I am sure there will still be a use for the… work designation board.”
Batman pats him on the shoulder stiffly. He looks about as uncomfortable as Clark has ever seen the vigilante. Absentmindedly, he wonders if this is the first time the Batman has panicked before.
“It would work well for notifying the other members of watch rotations. And the colour coding is… suitable.”
Clark smiles softly. “Would you rather have the black or yellow marker?”
“Black would be best.”
Barry chimes in. “So do I get the red marker or will Diana have it because honestly, I don’t think I’ll win if I have to fight her for it and I really haven’t got any other options because this suit is more of a block-colour onesie sort of thing-“
Clark proudly whips out two different red markers, handing the glitter one to the speedster. Batman nods. Clark’s pretty sure he’s impressed. Maybe— he’s hard to read with the cowl, not to mention all the greasepaint.
Step 3, check.
- Support each other when working on collaborative projects
Luthor’s army of murder-robots definitely counts as a trial by fire for the League’s first public appearance. Seriously, there has to be something better for the billionaire to throw money at: philanthropy, crypto currency, a small business start-up, anything but hassling the JL at the expense of all of Metropolis.
The heroes are, to put it bluntly, swamped. It’s about 10 robots to each of them, and the things just won’t go down. Barry screamed the first time one jerkily stood back up with an arrow through its head. It was only after Diana literally crushed the damned thing that it stopped crawling after the poor speedster.
At least Batman’s training simulations have helped. Arrow isn’t getting caught in Diana’s lasso anymore, which is better for everybody: Ollie’s a man of few secrets and even less shame, so nobody wants to see the few inhibitions he does have removed. Following protocol, they have paired off to spread out and tackle different areas of the battle. The group work around each other well, incorporating training manoeuvres into battle pretty much seamlessly. Teamwork is definitely a skill Clark can check off of his list. The only thing is, he has to question, if all of it is strictly necessary?
Dinah and Ollie are back to back in the throes of the battle. The pair are impenetrable, taking down waves of bots. The issue is that in Batman’s carefully constructed plan, Ollie is supposed to be in a position up high on an apartment block rooftop, and Dinah should be moving through the enemies towards Luthor’s base of operations with her martial arts skills. If the two don’t separate soon, Clark thinks Batman will come over and rip them apart.
John and J’onn— hey, John squared— Clark is definitely going to work that joke into the next meeting— are fighting together in the sky. It’s like watching an overly polite dance, where they just keep going out of their way to take on each others’ enemies. John repeatedly stops to block hits coming towards an already intangible Martian manhunter. J’onn thoroughly destroys a lone bot coming towards the Lantern, who is already well protected in a construct of a full suit of armor. Diana and Arthur are no better, engaged in what seems to be some archaic royal battle ritual, and whilst Clark is all for building diplomatic relations, reciting each other’s full titles seems to be taking up a lot of time. Hal and Barry are at least fighting their own bots, but keep stopping to banter with each other between enemies. Hal makes a “ro-butt” joke. Clark centres himself with a deep breath, and thinks of the 3 step procedure to deliver criticism at work.
One compliment: lots of murder-bots smashed.
Then the critique: possibly lacking efficiency in fighting style?
Another compliment: everyone seems to be getting on well!
(In hindsight, he really was just asking for it with that last comment.)
It takes 5 more minutes for Batman to snap. With what appears to be a megaphone produced from his utility belt, he announces at ear splitting volume: “For God’s sake people, stop saving each other and get on with the plan!”
The League pauses. The heroes freeze, like children caught drawing on the walls.
Batman’s voice rings in their ears again. They have comms in, the megaphone is definitely unnecessary. “Move!”
With a jolt, the team hurries off into positions. Luthor is captured and the rest of the bots disabled shortly after. Even Hal only makes one poor robot pun for the rest of the mission.
As they hand Luthor off to the police, Barry sighs. “He’s so gonna make a PowerPoint about this, isn’t he.”
Diana pats his shoulder in consolation.
After mandated Bat-training, Clark checks step 4 off the list.
- Take social opportunities outside of work to grow together as a team
It makes sense that the final stage of the plan is their greatest challenge. Friendships tested, bonds fractured— Clark thinks John is one step away from throwing a punch.
“For the last time, Oliver,” the Lantern says through gritted teeth, “ The first movie we show J’onn is not going to be ‘Meet the Parents’.”
“It’s a great movie!” Ollie retorts. “You just want to watch Star Wars.”
“Star Wars.” John spits as his ring glows dangerously. “Is a fucking classic-“
“Okay!” Clark inserts himself between the two men. “Both good options! Has anyone else got any ideas?”
Hal stands up.
“If the next words out of your mouth are ‘top’ or ‘gun’ I’m throwing you in the fountain.” Dinah states.
Hal is clearly stumped for a moment, but in the name of Green Lantern determination, he perseveres. Proudly, he offers his next best pick: “Aliens!”
Barry complains, “We can’t watch the sequel without watching the original first.”
“That’s not what you said when you recommended the third Lord of the Rings ten minutes ago-“
Batman puts his foot down. “We are not watching Alien, nor Aliens.”
“You’re such a killjoy Bats.” Hal grumbles.
Batman twitches. “Do you want to explain the plot of that movie to our Martian teammate?”
Hal opens his mouth. He pauses for a minute, and Clark can see the clogs turning, then screeching to a halt, then setting ablaze. With a final glare, the pilot sits back down.
“I’ve been told that Pointbreak is very good!” Arthur speaks up.
“No surfing.”
Clark and Diana exchange looks of confusion. The princess turns to the Bat to question his ruling, but the vigilante is suddenly too busy staring at the wall to comment.
“What’s your vote for then, Spooky?” Hal asks.
“12 Angry Men. The Shawshank Redemption. The Godfather. Casablanca. Vertigo.”
Clark sends an accusatory look. “Are you just quoting IMDb right now?”
“They’re the most logical picks to introduce J’onn to Earth cinema.”
Clark sulks. “This is supposed to be team bonding. We want to learn what movies you like, not a hundred guys online. Surely there’s at least one that’s special to you?”
“I promise you Batman, this information would not be used to betray your trust or uncover your identity at all.” Diana tries.
Batman purses his lips. Just when Clark thinks he’s going to stay silent forever, he says, “The Gray Ghost Strikes.”
“The old kid’s film?—“ Hal questions. Barry cuts him off with an elbow to the ribs.
“I’ve never seen it! All in favour?” Clark asks cheerfully.
All hands go up.
“I’m sure it will be very enjoyable.” J’onn agrees.
The movie starts. Clark settles down in his seat to watch.
It’s an interesting viewing experience, to say the least.
In all of Batman’s impressive planning when designing the Hall of Justice, he clearly had never accounted for possible future movie nights, because they are cramped together on far too little furniture for their numbers. Ollie sources 2 couches of mysterious origins and drags them into the kitchen- Barry wants to be close to the microwave for his popcorn- whilst Hal takes great joy in stealing the Bat-PowerPoint projector to display the film. On couch 1, Clark is only slightly squished between Diana and Batman. J’onn perches politely on the armrest beside him, whilst Arthur lounges against their shins where he is sprawled out in front of them. For a king used to a throne, the Atlantian is surprisingly unbothered at sitting on the floor.
Couch 2 is a lot less peaceful. Nobody is selfless enough to sit on the floor, leading to- and Clark is not overdramatising here- carnage. Ollie’s attempt to lounge across Dinah results in an elbow to the ribs. He in turn accidentally hits Hal, who then also elbows the archer in the ribs. Barry’s continuous fidgeting where he was crushed against John caused the others to vote to expel him from the couch, for the greater good. He did not take the verdict well. The following brawl led to John being kicked off his armrest as unfortunate collateral damage. The other 4 are sulking, whilst the Lantern is now sitting on his own construct away from the couch in protest.
Even once they all mostly succeed in sitting down and turning on the movie, they can’t quite settle into peace.
Firstly, some of their members just won’t stop talking. Hal and Ollie gives running commentary like they’re starting a podcast, until a firm glare from Diana finally shuts them up. They have to pause a couple times to explain parts of early 90s media to J’onn. Finally, the most glaring issue is that the Gray Ghost, unfortunately, isn’t really very good. The effects are dated, the mystery weak, the characters one-dimensional and the dialogue stilted, not to mention the problematic elements. If Clark was still writing for the entertainment column like when he was an intern, it would be a solid 2 stars, and Clark was removed from that section for being too generous.
As the credits roll, the League falls finally silent. All heads turn to Batman.
The vigilante sighs. “That seemed… of higher quality, when I was a child. I apologise.”
Batman looks to the team with true anguish in his eyes, as if he’s failed them as a member. Clark can’t help it; he laughs.
As if a dam bursts, the rest of the group jumps into action, teasing like unruly school children. Barry and Ollie immediately start reenacting one of the poorly-acted romantic scenes of the movie. Dinah joins as the antagonist, taking great joy in repeating the sound effects as she ‘punches’ Ollie. Diana cheers and boos with great enthusiasm. J’onn insists that he enjoyed the story, although if that is out of politeness or a lack of exposure to anything else, Clark doesn’t know. When Ollie hits the floor he knocks into Arthur, who it turns out had been asleep since the 30 minute mark. The subsequent wrestle unsurprisingly leads to a quick victory for the Atlantean. The rest of them quickly bet on teams, with only Hal loyally (and stupidly) siding with Ollie. He claims he likes risky odds.
It doesn’t take x-ray vision to see Batman’s smile.
Clark doesn’t bother checking off step 5.
John insists on Star Wars for their next movie night, which goes down far better in terms of quality than the Gray Ghost. Afterwards, Clark deletes his bookmark on the article, and laser visions the paper with his checklist. An ensuing Daily Planet article reports the teamwork of the newly debuted Justice League to be a resounding success.