Chapter Text
It was late and the Canyon Biome was quiet, save for the distant chirps of a couple of Starly and the rhythmic splashing of water from a nearby waterfall. The light filtering through the artificial sky was warm, golden, serene, utterly at odds with the dozens, hundreds, thousands of angry thoughts still churning in Kieran’s head as he kept walking down a random path.
He hadn't come here looking for answers. He hadn't even expected any.
In fact, he'd just been out in the Canyon Biome walking, trying his best to avoid, well ‘everything’, his thoughts, his guilt, the ever-present shadow of the Champion he wasn’t yet, because he could always do better, be so much better than he currently was. He wasn't weak. He wasn't. He just needed to burn off some energy. Just a little bit. It was supposed to be just a walk. Clear his head. Keep moving so his thoughts couldn't catch up with him.
But then he’d heard his sister’s voice further up ahead. It wasn't just her though.
He picked up what sounded like Drayton’s voice as he got closer.
And even Amarys’.
'What are they even doing out here?'
“-I just don’t get it,” Drayton muttered, sounding more puzzled than anything which was weird. “Kieran was different before. Sure, he was quiet, a little hesitant, but… he was never this angry. I mean, he used to light up whenever anyone got him talking about Pokémon. Especially the Legendaries. Now it’s like the only thing keeping him going is the idea of getting stronger and crushing anyone dumb enough to try and battle him.”
"Idiot. You challenged him yesterday."
"So, it doesn't mean I'm wrong."
Kieran froze in place behind a mossy outcropping, nearly tripping on a root as he listened to them talking about him.
He should... He should leave, pretend he wasn't here. He could... He couldn't help but peek out carefully as he slowly inched closer. Just down the slope, his big sister Carmine sat cross-legged on a rock, facing Drayton and Amarys beneath the shade of a high stone arch. It looked like a casual conversation if you ignored the tension in Carmine’s hunched shoulders.
‘What’s going on?’ Why was she acting like that?
Carmine looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but Amarys’ gaze was sharp, unreadable behind her glasses as they pinned his sister in place. “It's more than just that,” she finally said, arms folded. “He's angrier than he's ever been before and it's starting to become a problem. Some of the younger students have started avoiding any of the usual areas he’s in because they're afraid of going anywhere near him.”
“Something happened,” Drayton said. “Didn’t it? Because he was completely fine before he went home for summer break last year, and now he's," he waved his hand off to the side, making a gesturing motion. "Like that all the time.”
Carmine looked down at her boots. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Something did happen.”
Kieran’s pulse jumped at the admission. The sudden urge to flee warred with the need to know more. He wanted to turn around and run away. He wanted to pretend this wasn't happening, that the reason behind the guilty look in his sister's eyes was because of something else. But he couldn’t move. Carmine's admission, the way she curled in on her self like she was ashamed of something tangled together a mix of confusion, dread and something he couldn't place inside him, stopping him cold.
“I thought... I don't know what I thought, but I never expected things to turn out like this,” Carmine finally explained. “Last year, when the students from Naranja Academy visited Kitakami… it felt like things were finally changing for him. Kieran was opening up. Making friends. He’d come home every night talking about this one trainer in particular, Florian.”
Kieran’s breath caught at the mention of his name.
He remembered Florian’s laughter. The quiet determination in his eyes the few times they tracked wild Pokemon. The way he actually listened and his smile... The way he smiled at him almost had Kieran believing he actually mattered.
He remembered thinking, ‘Maybe I finally have a friend now.’
And then, everything fell apart within a matter of days.
Drayton raised an eyebrow. “That name sounds familiar. He’s a Champion now, right?”
"One of the youngest in his region after defeating his predecessor, Geeta."
“Yeah, that's him,” Carmine nodded. “Smart, strong, a little awkward. But a good kid. He and Kieran… I think they really clicked.”
Kieran’s throat ached as he continued to listen to the three of them talk. ‘We did.’ Or at least, he thought they had.
Amarys tilted her head. “If they were so close, then what changed?”
Carmine hesitated. Kieran could see her jaw tighten. She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to admit it. But Amarys was sharp, and Drayton could be relentless when he wanted answers to something.
"What are you hiding from us?"
“You’re leaving something out,” Amarys said quietly. “A lot of somethings. Did they get into a fight?”
“…It wasn’t Florian’s fault,” Carmine said, barely above a whisper. “I pressured the guy into lying to Kieran.”
The words slammed into Kieran’s heart like a Rhyhorn at full charge.
‘What?’
“You what?”
"Why?"
“There were… things happening about one of the local legends back in Kitakami,” Carmine explained, looking away from the other two. "Really, really dangerous stuff. Complicated stuff our grandfather didn’t want getting out to the rest of our town and I... I didn’t want Kieran involved in any of it. I thought... I don't know what I was thinking back then. I just, I knew Kieran wouldn't take it well if he knew the truth, so I told Florian not to tell him everything. I was just trying to protect him.”
Amarys’s voice was colder than the waterfall mist. “So you made his only real friend at the time lie to him because you didn’t trust him with the truth.”
“I was just trying to keep him safe!” Carmine snapped back, standing up suddenly. “You don’t get it. He’s not like... He’s always been… He was always so fragile. Too closed off. Too shy. I thought if he knew what was really going on, he’d get hurt worse than if we just… If I let him believe something softer.”
“You didn’t protect him, though,” Drayton responded quietly with an odd look in his eyes. It was almost judging, but Kieran didn't care enough to try and figure it out.
He couldn't stay here, couldn't listen to any more of this, as shock, then numbness spread throughout his chest. Kieran couldn’t care less about defending himself, about anything but the sick realization twisting in his chest. He couldn’t breathe.
He staggered back a step, eyes wide. Memories crashed into him, fast and cruel.
Florian fidgeted, trying to speak, but Carmine had stepped between them. She was always butting in back then, talking louder, sometimes even over them, smiling way too much.
That awful day at the shrine.
The moment he snapped up in the mountains.
‘You lied to me!’
He’d said those words and so much worse. Screamed at Florian, who’d tried to defend himself, but he’d never... He never... Florian rarely talked... It had taken days for him to get comfortable enough to share more than a few short sentences, and that was just when they were on their own. He wouldn't have been able to get out much if anything with how angry he was back then.
And Kieran could still hear his own voice echoing in his ears screaming downright cruel obscenities at the other boy.
Florian, he hadn’t fought back. He hadn’t shouted back or even denied it because he couldn't. He just stood there, eyes wide, heart breaking as he tried to sign the right words, desperately trying to get him to understand. But Kieran hadn’t. He’d refused to even look at him after their battle because he’d been so angry.
Because Carmine had tied their hands.
She’d forced Florian to lie to him.
She hadn’t trusted him, her own little brother. Not enough to let him hear the truth. Not enough to let Florian stay his friend.
Kieran didn’t remember when the trembling started, sometime after the rage exploded, the grief swelled, and the betrayal hit all at once. Now, every tremor in his chest echoed those tangled feelings. His fingers curled into fists so tight they ached, his body pulsing helplessly with each wave.
A choked, broken sound escaped his throat, half a laugh, half a sob.
The others heard that, though.
“Hello?”
“Is anyone there?”
And Kieran couldn't, not now so he ran before any of them even had a chance to see him.
-_-_-_-
He didn’t know how far he went. He didn’t care. His boots pounded against the dirt, the leaves, the stone paths of the Terrarium until his lungs burned and his legs screamed. He didn’t stop until he was deep within a grove near the farthest waterfall, surrounded by nothing but towering trees and the cries of distant wild Pokémon.
His legs finally gave out there, and he dropped to his knees, shoulders heaving as his hands came up to tug at his hair.
He was spiraling.
Tears welled up and spilled over before he could stop them. He can't... He couldn't stop them from rolling down his face.
“I trusted her,” he spat, voice breaking between chocked sobs. “I trusted her and she lied to my face like it was nothing!” Like it was just easier to let Florian take the fall for everything.
The grip on his hair was hurting but he didn't care. 'And Florian, Arceus, I screamed so many horrible things at him! I treated him like trash for the rest of his visit. And he… he wasn’t even allowed to defend himself!'
His thoughts and harsh, laboured breathing echoed around him as he curled in on himself a little.
“She thought I couldn’t handle it,” he whispered, still choking back sobs. “She didn’t think I was mature enough. Strong enough. So she made that choice for me.”
A bitter, angry laugh bubbled up in his throat at the very thought. “Guess she was right, huh? Look at me now. Champion of an Academy that is afraid of me." He was... He was still so anger, there was just so much anger still buried in him somewhere looking for someone to blame but he couldn't... He can't blame Florian anymore, could he? No, no he couldn't but he can't... He wants to... No... No.... He can't even talk to his sister either because he wants to scream at her. He was... He was all alone again.
But that wasn’t true.
He hadn’t been alone. Not back then.
He’d had Florian. He’d had something real. Something he'd hoped could eventually be real. But instead of holding onto it, instead of giving Florian a chance to explain he’d destroyed whatever kind of friendship they might of had, all because his big sister wanted to treat him like a little kid who didn’t know any better.