Chapter Text
Soonyoung is looking at Joshua like he just said he ran over a cat and needed help burying the body. His eyebrows are furrowed, squinting up at him from where he’s sitting on the floor with his laptop on the coffee table.
It’s offensive, because Joshua speaks very clearly, thank you very much, and he isn't a difficult-to-understand sentence in an academic research paper.
And if there’s anyone out of the both of them who does questionable things, it’s not Joshua.
Sure, Soonyoung likes to joke he’s “scammable” because he once got ripped off at a market while buying leek kimchi two months ago, but it’s Soonyoung who got his head stuck in between the rails of their dorm balcony last week. It’s also Soonyoung who calls at five in the morning to be let in after a night out because he keeps forgetting his keys—only for Joshua to remind him they’re always in his left back pocket. And it’s Soonyoung who keeps whole bags of pennies fresh from the bank in his backpack and uses them to pay for his lunch at the college cafeteria.
So really, Joshua doesn’t think it’s very fair for Soonyoung to look at him like he just said he wants to go to Mars at this very instant, when all he said was that Jeonghan was coming over for dinner later.
And by later, he means in about fifteen minutes tops. Sue him. Jeonghan just texted him, too, with far too many emojis and exclamation points when he asked for a simple address because he was bringing food. All the people Joshua knows are so dramatic, god—
Soonyoung pinches the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other on his head like he has a migraine coming. Again, dramatic. “Take it from the top. Who’s Jeonghan again?”
“My boyfriend,” is how Joshua answers, perfectly as he and Jeonghan practiced for the two and a half hours they sat beside each other at the back of Dr. Kang’s lecture hall. Soonyoung’s eyebrows disappear into his bangs. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“No, I will look at you like this.” Soonyoung counters, waving a hand. “Since when? Where did you meet him? You left this room single as a pringle—”
“Don’t say ‘single as a pringle,’ they come in stacks—"
“—and now you have a boyfriend.” A pause. “Please don’t tell me we have to cook for him.”
“Of course not,” Now Joshua is the one giving Soonyoung a weird look. “He’ll bring takeout. It’s part of the deal.”
Soonyoung matches it: “A deal.”
Joshua sighs, “It’s a scam. We’re not dating for real. Happy?”
“Again.” Soonyoung waves, “When? Where? How? And most importantly, why?”
Right on cue, a knock comes at their door. Soonyoung lobs the pillow he’s holding at Joshua’s face; Joshua dodges it easily.
“Your guest, your responsibility.”
Joshua huffs, “I hope Jeonghan got boiled chicken so you can’t eat it.”
Soonyoung aims a kick at him instead. “Don't disrespect my dead pet. If this all goes to shit, I’m keeping his Tupperware.”
It started like this.
For the better part of a semester, Joshua had sat beside Jeonghan in the back row of Dr. Kang’s lecture for three reasons.
First, because Joshua couldn’t care less about science in the modern world, much less about it at 9 in-the-fucking A.M.
Second, he arrived late on the first day of class and that happened to be one of the few empty seats left. It was the back or the very front, and again, Joshua couldn’t care less about this lecture.
Third, because Jeonghan just happened to be there. Joshua doesn’t just seek out men. He’s not a slut like Soonyoung was back in freshman year.
In fact, Joshua didn’t even sit beside Jeonghan at first. There was a whole seat in between them.
It was just that Jeonghan asked him if he could borrow his notes during the second day of the lecture, that things just…happened. Jeonghan took the seat beside him, and it was all history. It didn’t help that Jeonghan had been muttering snarky jokes about the lecture the entire time, and Joshua had to bite his fist one too many times so he wouldn’t get called on for laughing. Jeonghan was funny, and Joshua only bored out of his mind.
It was convenient. Sitting beside Jeonghan from that day onwards was nice.
It became…a partnership of sorts. Jeonghan was oddly uninterested in science in the modern world for someone claiming to have taken a science major in high school, and for a guy taking up a field of Engineering or something. They’d help each other with notes after class and share mindless chatter to keep each other from falling asleep. If one of them got called on for recitation, the other would mutter hastily Googled answers out of the corner of his mouth.
And after class ended, if they didn’t have other lunch plans, they’d eat with each other. Sharing 1+1 convenience store deals and clinking beers over ramen somewhere off campus. Exchanging gossip over which classmate is useless in group projects and which professors give the best grades for the least amount of work.
It was fun. Jeonghan’s nice. He makes the early classes bearable and the walk to class worth it.
So when Jeonghan opened up about a certain predicament with his boyfriend—no, ex-boyfriend—and needed Joshua’s help for the next month or so, who was Joshua to refuse to help? It’s not like he had anything else to do outside of writing essays and making sure Soonyoung wasn’t freezing in the great outdoors at the wee hours of the morning.
Besides, Jeonghan’s handsome.
And in the words of a Kwon Soonyoung, “you need to live a little while your knees aren’t creaking, Josh.”
Jeonghan brings fried chicken, much to Joshua’s petty dismay.
He also brings beer, much to Joshua’s delight, because cheap beer is the only thing that gets him through many nights as exam season approaches; Soonyoung is beginning to call him a baby alcoholic. Joshua throws the pillow back at him, and Jeonghan cackles in the background, even when it’s a little shier than Joshua is used to from their lunches.
“He’s a real person,” Soonyoung scrambles to his feet, eyes comically wide. His shin slams against the edge of the table in his haste. “Ow, ow, ow—”
Again, Jeonghan laughs and steps in when Joshua ushers him inside, taking the bags of food and drinks from his hands.
“I told you he was coming, Soonyoung.”
“Yeah, but in my head, he was more of a ‘concept,’ and not an actual person.” Soonyoung straightens from where he was rubbing his shin. A wince still tugs at his lips, even when he meets Jeonghan’s eyes. Gives Jeonghan a once-over. “Hi, I’m this guy’s roommate. You can call me Tiger. I like your shirt.”
Jeonghan’s wearing black training shorts and a yellow shirt has a bright orange cartoon tiger on the front. His eyes turn into crescent moons when he smiles.
“Hi, Tiger. I’m Jeonghan. It’s a good thing I brought fried chicken. Isn’t that your prey?”
“Jeonghan, you don’t have to feed into his delusion–”
“Come on, Mr. Amazing Boyfriend,” Soonyoung’s voice suddenly overpowers Joshua, and he’s rushing to grab Jeonghan by the arm. “I think you and I have a lot to talk about.”
They sit on the floor, and it’s Joshua setting up their food and drinks with plates and all that jazz. Meanwhile, Soonyoung loops his arm through Jeonghan’s and chats his ear off about god knows what. By the time Joshua settles down across both of them, they’re already honest-to-god giggling amongst each other, and Joshua stares at them for a moment before Jeonghan notices him.
It’s sweet, the way Jeonghan’s smile widens even more when their eyes meet.
And the way he puts a piece of chicken on Joshua’s plate first. Just like how a boyfriend would.
“You’re really living up to the boyfriend title,” comes Soonyoung’s annoying, obvious observation. He even whistles. “Speaking of, you didn’t answer my why, Josh.”
In lieu of answering, Joshua chooses to pop open a can of beer. Jeonghan puts a piece of chicken on Soonyoung’s plate, too.
Soonyoung practically squeals, slipping his hand in Jeonghan’s. Jeonghan only laughs. Really, he’s too kind.
“What do you mean, why?”
“Why you two are fake boyfriends or whatever.” Soonyoung lets go to pick up his chicken and go to town. He speaks even when chewing. To make things worse, he chews with his mouth open. “Josh has never had a boyfriend for as long as you’ve known him.”
“You’re being dramatic, I dated around!” Joshua coughs, “Swallow before you talk, don’t you have manners?”
Soonyoung ignores him. Addresses sweet, kind Jeonghan. “So, why?”
It’s also Jeonghan who answers before he even touches his food, simply. “My ex broke up with me about a month ago. It was all good, not really any hard feelings. He’s a good guy.” Jeonghan’s eyes drop to his plate for half a beat before he adds, “But he already moved in with another guy last weekend.”
“So it’s a revenge plot, is that it?”
A pause. “Sort of, yeah.”
Soonyoung also pauses. He finally swallows his mouthful. “How’d you know?”
Jeonghan bites into his chicken, taking his time to chew and swallow. There’s a pink tinge to his ears when he admits, “I stalked his Instagram stories using a different account.”
Soonyoung whistles again as Jeonghan digs into his food, “Damn, I hope it all works out well for you, then. Show me a picture?”
Mid-chew, Jeonghan fishes his phone out of his pocket.
Jeonghan is passing his phone to Soonyoung, whose eyes widen comically. “Fuck, he’s hot.”
Joshua had never met Jeonghan’s boyfriend, per se, but he’d seen a tall and tan guy with a toothy smile occasionally waiting for Jeonghan outside of Dr. Kang’s lecture hall. Jeonghan would wave back at Joshua as they walked off, the taller guy already chattering away, and that was all Joshua would see of him.
Jeonghan only makes a sound that Joshua can describe as pained—like, stepped on Legos pained.
They get through dinner, sharing a box of chicken. They turn on an animated film on Netflix on Soonyoung’s open laptop over beers and chatter, and they reach a total of thirty minutes before Soonyoung is jumping up to cook them a pot of instant noodles.
Within two minutes, the savory scent of spicy soup and calories wafts in from the kitchen, while Jeonghan and Joshua actually watch the film. It isn’t half bad, but at this point, Joshua has no idea where the plot is going, so he just drinks his beer and watches a too-engrossed Jeonghan out of the corner of his eye.
Jeonghan fits into their tiny dorm room like he’s lived there all his life. Joshua has never invited him over before, but it has him wondering if Jeonghan also lives in one of the college dorms for him to know the layout so well. He even knows where the bathroom is, and he doesn’t even ask.
He doesn’t ask how Jeonghan knows, but he files it away anyway. Some things are better saved for when you aren’t two cans of beer in.
Still, Joshua can’t help but make an offhand comment about it when Soonyoung returns to their cramped coffee table with a steaming pot of noodles. Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything else.
There are no grand declarations of love. No dramatic scene where Jeonghan crowds him against the wall or door when his ex passes by, the way they do in the movies. Heck, they don’t even pass by Jeonghan’s ex anywhere in the hallway.
Which is all fine by him. Joshua thinks it’s less tiring this way.
Without Jeonghan’s ex physically anywhere around them, all Jeonghan asks of him is that Joshua lets him sit closer than usual. Or casually plant a hand on his knee in public. Or even hold his hand—platonically, of course. It’s all just to “spark rumors” in case anybody they mutually know does pass by, or whatever Jeonghan calls it.
“It’s better to let rumors spread organically,” Jeonghan had insisted when they first sat down over lunch to lay down “ground rules” of what they could and could not do.
Like…kissing.
Joshua isn’t a prude. He’s dated both guys and girls. He’s kissed them, held their hands, held doors open for them on dates and pulled out their chairs for them. But he isn’t the PDA type of guy, which Jeonghan apparently is.
Still, they wrote it down on a list and everything, all their do’s and don’ts. They’d found a middle ground on the kissing part and Joshua allowed it as long as Jeonghan warned him first, and Jeonghan would put his hand in Joshua’s back pocket before he did anything, in some kind of romcom movie style warning.
The first time the list truly comes to good use, though, is three weeks in, exams are coming up, and Jeonghan is asking Joshua to go to a party with him. They’re sitting outside a nearby convenience store, waiting for their instant noodles to cook, and the hot breeze has Joshua thinking that summer is well on its way.
“It’s a pre-semester-end party,” Jeonghan is even pouting, Joshua thinks he’s stopped breathing for a second there. “I can’t not be there, so you have to come with me."
Joshua frowns, “Who the fuck throws parties before exams?”
Hesitation. Then, “My ex’s best friends.”
“Dude.”
Jeonghan seems to shrink into himself under the weight of Joshua’s gaze. Eventually, he sighs, “I know, I know—but they’re still really nice guys to invite me, and I’m sure Mingyu will show up.”
The name piques Joshua’s interest. It’s probably the first time Jeonghan has ever mentioned his ex’s name to him.
Mingyu.
A common name.
Either way, Joshua summarizes, “So you want to parade me around like a trophy.”
The sunlight is warm on Joshua’s skin. The light seems to sparkle off of the glasses perched on top of Jeonghan’s head, making him look like an otherworldly being, if that makes sense.
Still, it’s a little too hot, and Joshua tugs at his collar to give himself some air.
Why does it feel too hot?
It’s just a party. And Jeonghan. He’s just going to a party hosted by Jeonghan’s ex’s best friends with Jeonghan. In an enclosed space with drinks and snacks and probably a hundred other people.
There will be drinks. He can drink and hide. He can swallow down the idea of being seen, as long as Jeonghan doesn’t do anything crazy like kiss him.
Eventually, Joshua relents. “Fine. For you. When is it?”
Jeonghan fucking cheers. Joshua wants to slap him.
Out of the two of them, it’s Soonyoung who’s the party guy. Joshua just sort of wills himself to fade into the wallpaper with his drink in hand and exchanges awkward small talk with whoever walks up to him.
With that being said, he can’t remember the last time he went to a party, much less before exams.
The idea of it is so ridiculous that even Soonyoung gapes when Joshua comes out of his room.
“You’re going to a party,” Soonyoung repeats, a little dumbly where he’s hunched over his laptop. Has been for the past three hours. “Never thought I’d see this day again.”
“Shut up,” is all Joshua can say, because he sort of agrees. “Jeonghan invited me.”
“Ah, yes, the boyfriend.” Soonyoung laughs, rubbing at his eyes. He turns away from his screen to fully take in Joshua’s outfit. “You look like you’re going to brunch, though.”
Joshua is wearing a light blue button down with the buttons open until his chest and black slacks. It’s nothing fancy, but he’d been wondering if he should wear black instead in case someone spills anything on his clothes. Blue eventually won because it’s still a party, and he doesn’t want to look like he’s going to a funeral.
Apparently, he was doomed to look like he was heading out for brunch instead.
Joshua frowns, “This is what I usually wear.”
“Which reminds me that you’re not a party guy,” Soonyoung is pushing himself to his feet. “You need a better outfit.”
“I’m going to be late,” Joshua protests when Soonyoung grabs his wrist and pulls Joshua into his own, messy room.
This is where he feels the nerves.
Even more so when Soonyoung shoots him finger guns and an exaggerated wink and corrects him: “You’ll be fashionably late. There’s a difference.
When Soonyoung throws open his closet, Joshua is reminded why he and Soonyoung fought for a dorm with separate bedrooms when the school year started. No amount of love for his roommate could beat his horror at the way clothes just spill out of Soonyoung’s drawers. Jackets. Shirts. Jeans. Underwear, even.
Somehow, he navigates through it all, retrieving a cropped leather jacket from the chaos and tossing it in Joshua’s direction. Then, a white sleeveless top.
Joshua lunges to catch them before they touch the pile of clothes already on the floor. “It’s fucking summer, man.”
“At least the weather isn’t the only thing that’s hot,” Soonyoung looks up at him expectantly. “What are you waiting for? Go change.”
And so Joshua strips right then and there. Soonyoung’s eyes sparkle like the pervert he is before he goes to his drawers, back turned to Joshua so he can change in peace, until he returns to top it all off with a bundle of necklaces.
It’s only after Soonyoung smoothens his collar, runs his waxed hands through Joshua’s hair, slips rings onto Joshua's fingers, and artfully arranges the chains around Joshua's neck that he finally smiles. Takes a dramatic step back to survey his work.
“Okay, you’re ready to party, hot stuff.”
Joshua can’t help his retort, “I was ready to party even before.”
Then Soonyoung is shoving him in the direction of his full-length mirror, and anything else fades out in the back of Joshua’s throat. Agreement, too, is something else Joshua can’t help but express, when Soonyoung made him look like a rockstar with the tousled hair and black leather jacket, even when his neck feels heavy with all the jewelry.
So this is why Soonyoung always returns to their dorm at five in the morning. He probably has men all over him.
When Joshua says aloud just as much, Soonyoung only laughs. That means it’s true.
Soonyoung sends him out the door with a painful smack to the ass and a “go get him, lion!”
Soonyoung’s jacket sticks to Joshua’s skin, slick with sweat, while he walks the three blocks off campus to the address Jeonghan texted him.
If this was a normal night, he’d be stressing out over his essays beside Soonyoung, curled up on the floor of their dorm room in pajamas with the air conditioning on full blast. But alas, here he is, sweating into his jacket, and trying not to die of heatstroke.
Really, the end of May shouldn’t be this humid.
He can see the strobe lights from the corner, bright whites and blues and pinks. He can hear the music from afar, a heavy bass that rumbles the ground Joshua walks on as he approaches. The closer he gets, the more he sees the people littering the area outside of the door.
It has him taking a deep breath before he double-checks the address again, past Jeonghan’s update on his location, and walks straight into the bar.
At places like this, nobody cares about anybody, so Joshua easily slips in the open door. The bouncer doesn’t even stop him—they’ve probably been warned about the influx of college students set to come in and party. Or maybe Jeonghan’s ex’s best friends could be rich and have actually rented out the entire place.
The bar isn’t anywhere Joshua has gone before, but it doesn’t look very different from the others. Low lights, packed walkways, sticky floors. The scent of too many drunk, sweaty people in one room. Heavy bass thudding in Joshua’s skull.
But Jeonghan texted that he’s already inside, over at the bar counter, so Joshua sucks it up, squeezes past everyone, and tries to keep himself focused so the world doesn’t start spinning from lack of oxygen.
Jeonghan isn’t difficult to spot—he’s one of the few actually sitting at the counter, waiting. Joshua’s feet carry him too fast. The world blurs into colors, then he’s placing a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder.
“Hey.”
Jeonghan jumps in his seat, setting his drink down before twisting around, “Hey, I was waiting for you.”
Something in Joshua’s chest tightens at that. He clambers onto the stool beside Jeonghan’s, and Jeonghan flags the bartender down for him while simultaneously sliding the drink menu over to him. Then, his hand finds its place on Joshua’s thigh. Casual. Just like what they discussed.
Still, Joshua has to swallow down his heart from where it leaped up to his throat. This is fake, after all. Jeonghan is just friendly, and they’re just at a party.
He orders himself a Cass, because he doesn’t want the headache that comes with hard liquor, and catches Jeonghan watching him.
Under the low light, Jeonghan somehow manages to glow. His hair is swept away from his face, and he’s wearing a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and fitted jeans that hug his thighs. Is that glitter on his cheekbones? It’s a stark difference from the colorful oversized tees and sweaters he wears to class that Joshua immediately knows he’s here with a purpose.
Chill, but hot. Casual, but calculated and prepared to meet an ex.
Jeonghan is a good-looking guy to begin with. It’s working.
Under the low light, Jeonghan’s eyes on him are blazing, following the way he reaches to open his bottle when it arrives. Joshua has to take a long swig so that he can pass off the heat in his face as alcohol-induced.
What the fuck is going on with him?
It’s Jeonghan who reaches over to wipe the droplets from the corner of his mouth when Joshua sets his bottle back on the counter. Joshua almost flinches backwards in surprise, because Jeonghan’s fingers are cool against his face, and they suddenly feel too…intimate.
But Jeonghan’s grin is still playful as ever, and he has to raise his voice because someone put on EDM. “So, you look good. Cool jacket.”
“Thanks,” Joshua’s face still burns. He hopes the darkness hides it. He props an elbow up on the counter in hopes of looking casual, too. “It’s Soonyoung’s.”
They exchange some small talk—as much as they possibly can over the blaring music, anyway. Something about Jeonghan not seeing anyone he’s friends with just yet.
Something about the girls who came to Jeonghan, smelling of beer and too sweet perfume, and how he waved them away.
Something about how Jeonghan had apparently told anyone who walked up to him and asked to buy him drinks that he’s waiting for his boyfriend so no, he can’t give them his number. No, they shouldn’t have to buy him drinks either.
Time trickles by like honey dripping into a glass. The night gets deeper. The bar just keeps getting more cramped—definitely too full for pre-exam season—and Jeonghan orders more drinks for both of them. Joshua witnesses for himself how people seem to do double-takes in his and Jeonghan’s direction. It’s a little hard to ignore when he feels an urge to scratch the back of his neck, or when he feels the heat of people’s stares when they pass by.
Jeonghan keeps his gaze on Joshua, though, seemingly too interested in whatever he’s saying about his other classes and how he should call his mom soon enough. In exchange, Jeonghan talks about his younger sister and mom back at home, and how often he got scolded as a kid for throwing his bag out the classroom window and jumping out. Joshua laughs. Jeonghan's grin is mischievous. How much time has passed? Thirty minutes? An hour? Ten seconds?
Under the weight of Jeonghan’s stare and easy laughter, the bar music turns into a low buzzing in Joshua's ears. His Cass bottles multiply by his arm, and he’s rolled up the sleeves of Soonyoung’s jacket when the heat slowly hits.
He and Jeonghan are brushing knees. Practically whispering into each other’s ears just to hear each other. Have they always been that physically close?
Jeonghan leans in so close Joshua feels his breath on his cheek. Warmth on his knee. Under his skin. In his beer where all the ice has melted.
Fragments of a soft laugh at something Joshua can’t remember he said. Jeonghan’s eyelashes are—
“Jeonghan?”
Joshua doesn’t know how he hears it through the music. Or amidst the cheers suddenly erupting at a nearby table.
His eyelids are heavy, but he forces them open. Around them, the world crashes in—color, noise, movement.
Jeonghan’s gaze snaps away. Joshua’s stomach boils.
Then, Joshua catches the voice in question weaving through the crowds to get to them. Too quickly, their tiny little bubble at this corner of the bar is popped by a tall, slim guy with pointed eyes and a lip ring and a buffer, tanner guy wearing a black tank top.
In front of Joshua, Jeonghan immediately tenses, his hand clamping onto Joshua’s thigh before he seems to realize it. His voice is steady, though, when he nods, “Minghao. Seokmin. Nice to see you guys.”
Ice water pours through Joshua’s veins. It has him rubbing at his eyes, blinking hard until the world feels a little less hazy.
So these are the ex’s best friends.
The buffer guy watches him curiously. Joshua looks away, tracking the spin of a girl on a table. Wow. It’s too bright. Too loud.
When he looks back, Jeonghan’s hand is moving—up Joshua's thigh, slow like he’s trying to calm himself down. Because he's a maniac.
Heat pools low in Joshua’s gut, uncomfortably unfamiliar. His leg twitches. He doesn’t move it away.
Because people are watching.
Finally, the silence breaks. It could have been two seconds or two whole minutes.
Lip Ring’s voice is accented. A little soft. There’s a bite that cuts through, though. “Glad to see you enjoying yourself, Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan laughs, a little awkwardly. “Yeah. It’s a good party.”
Another voice, a bit higher-pitched. Buff Tank Top. “Won’t you introduce us?”
Jeonghan’s hand freezes. Jeonghan is still smiling, but it’s the kind of smile Joshua’s seen on people waiting for exam results to see if they passed or failed an entire semester. He doesn’t seem like he’s breathing. A deer in headlights.
And they’re both still being watched.
In a rush of adrenaline, Joshua grabs Jeonghan’s cold hand, laces their fingers together—clumsily, almost desperate—and pushes himself to his feet. He almost stumbles. Jeonghan’s grip tightens as if to catch him.
Shit, both Lip Ring and Buff Tank Top are taller than him.
“I’m Joshua,” His voice doesn’t sound like his own. The words sound foreign in his mouth. But someone has to keep their act going. “Jeonghan’s boyfriend.”
Lip Ring is named Minghao. He studies Chinese Language and Literature, and moved to Korea from China about three years ago. He looks at Joshua like Joshua personally offended him.
Buff Tank Top—Seokmin—is nicer. He resembles a cartoon puppy and is kinder than his biceps make him look, and he’s more of a curious person than anything else. At least, he doesn’t look at Joshua like Joshua spit in his drink.
Seokmin asks about how they met. He sounds a little cautious
Joshua gets it. Talking to your best friend’s ex about his new boyfriend? It's awkward. Soonyoung got into a relationship only a month after a breakup, he’d act the same way. Heck, he’d probably even be more like Minghao.
Jeonghan orders them all drinks while they talk, like he's hoping they'll talk less and drink more. It works, partly.
While Seokmin throws back shot after shot in between stories, Minghao is more careful, with tiny sips of his rum. Joshua nurses his beer when it arrives because he feels a major migraine on the way, and Jeonghan throws him worried looks every time he falls too quiet. Or just doesn’t react in time.
He acts like a great boyfriend. He’s so good. This must be because of those acting units he said he took back in his freshman year.
The story they tell is according to plan—not that it’s very far from the truth. They met in class, grabbed lunch together one too many times, and felt a crush coming. One thing led to another, and they were boyfriends.
According to their plot, it was Joshua who made the first move and Jeonghan who only accepted his date invitation, because Joshua didn’t want to make Jeonghan look like a douche for their story. He’d argued it was making Joshua look like a rebound, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s a fake relationship. It's whatever, Jeonghan.
Minghao’s judging stare turns withering within minutes, and Seokmin begins to look at Joshua with pity. His collar suddenly feels too tight. They sell the “Jeonghan is an asshole who’s using Joshua to temporarily bandage his broken heart before it all goes to shit" plot well, and Joshua isn’t sure how this will all play out eventually. It’s one thing to fake a relationship. It’s another to let people think you’re the guy keeping someone warm until the real thing comes back.
Still, he rolls with it, even if the looks on Minghao and Seokmin’s faces make him wonder what stories Mingyu told them about Jeonghan. Jeonghan had only ever called it an emotional mismatch, and that it was right to end their relationship four months in before things got “truly serious.”
Joshua blinks against the lights, trying to focus on what Minghao is saying, but the bass keeps vibrating behind his eyes. When he looks back, Jeonghan’s already changed—shoulders straightened, smile gone soft and shy like someone truly in love and in a blooming relationship.
And to really sell it all, Jeonghan feeds them details, on top of casual small talk about their lives so far. His hand is already so high up on Joshua’s thigh.
He and Joshua have been dating for only a week now. It all just happened so fast. Joshua is sweet, and Jeonghan is trying to be a better boyfriend. He and Mingyu haven’t exchanged texts yet since, but they’re amicable. Yeah, he swears there’s no hard feelings. No, this isn’t a plot to make Mingyu jealous or something, what are you talking about, Seokmin?
But Joshua doesn’t know why the words sound more like Jeonghan’s trying to convince himself, the longer he talks.
The world begins to spin. Seokmin is telling a story about a gym mishap, but Joshua’s too busy trying to count the number of ice cubes melting in Minghao's glass. He loses track at four. When Jeonghan laughs, it sounds too loud. Too bright.
Jeonghan’s hand burns through Joshua’s jeans. His palm stays there like he owns the spot, light enough to be casual, steady enough to make Joshua’s pulse climb. He can feel sweat trickling down his back, where his shirt has stuck to his skin.
Joshua orders himself a soda instead of a beer. The sugar is almost too sweet on his tongue, and he pretends like Jeonghan’s hand briefly landing on the small of his back doesn’t make his heart skip two beats.
The lights overhead flicker in time with the music, and every blink feels a fraction too long.
God, Joshua’s fucking drunk.
Joshua thanks any god listening that he didn’t do anything stupid in front of Minghao and Seokmin. Or Jeonghan, for that matter.
According to Jeonghan’s morning text, the only crime was nearly face-planting on the bar floor a few times. Seokmin had been quick to catch him before things got ugly and sticky. Not stupid, Jeonghan reassured. Just drunk.
Yeah. He was drunk enough to wake up with a skull-splitting headache and blank spots in his memory. Thank you, Seokmin, for saving his dignity. Surely nothing Gatorade can't solve.
But the problem is this: every time he sees Jeonghan now, something in him feels… different.
The Jeonghan he sees in class is still, technically, the same. He shows up in his obnoxiously bright, oversized sweaters and jogger pants. He cracks jokes under his breath. He invites Joshua out for lunch and they exchange notes, complaints, gossip, and everything under the sun. He has a habit of putting his hand on Joshua's knee and sitting close. Their charade is still on.
But whenever Jeonghan scoots his chair too close, Joshua forgets to breathe for half a beat. Whenever his voice drops to a whisper, electricity runs down Joshua's spine. Whenever his hand even so much as brushes Joshua's own, his heartbeat quickens like a teenage schoolgirl having her first crush.
Joshua is the great old age of twenty-two, for fuck's sake. He's in college. He can write three thousand words in a single night under the pressure of deadlines. He lives with Soonyoung, who is one of the most chaotic figures to ever walk this earth.
And this is just a fake relationship for the unforeseeable future so Jeonghan's ex can… he doesn’t know, actually, but God, it's probably just to get a reaction, right? Then when Jeonghan finally gets the reaction he wants, they'll stop or something.
Besides, they're friends. Joshua loves being friends with Jeonghan. He's nice and funny and is a great listener. They even help each other study for exams sometimes. They share a library table and try to quiz each other on things based on their notes.
He shouldn’t be more invested in it because Jeonghan obviously is just in it for the plot.
Anyway, Joshua is about 70% sure it's just the remnants of his drunken brain talking. Jeonghan is still a dude who uses the same tissue to clean a table to wipe his mouth, anyway. Soonyoung has these moments all the time, too—fixations on men he hooks up with because he thinks they're “the one” only for him to ghost the guy three days after.
Still, he finds himself staring at the text Jeonghan left in his inbox after they parted ways following the party: thnx 4 tonight babe hahahahaahh
He stares at it until the urge to hurl his soul out overwhelms him.