Chapter Text
“There’s nothing more to me. So please, just stop looking.”
She repeats the scene over in her head like a recording. Over and over and over and over and over. It had been a few days since that event. A new adventure hadn’t taken place quite yet. Nobody knew why, nobody exactly cared just yet. Usually Pomni would have been grateful for the break, but as she lay in her bed, staring at the canopy above. Counting the wrinkles. She wished she had a distraction. A better one.
She hadn’t said anything about her fight with Jax. She wasn’t sure she could truthfully talk about it without it turning into a bashing fest. It was no secret nobody liked him, and everyone had every right not to. But she wasn’t sure she was fully in that camp yet. Nor was she on his side. She found herself somewhere in the middle. Between the two sides. On the border. Predictably, Jax had been out and about the following day like normal. Picking on Gangle, annoying Zooble, and poking at Ragatha’s kindness. Ignoring Kinger mostly. For a moment, she questioned if the prior day's events even happened. Or if he’d simply gotten over it. He seemed normal for the most part. But that normality slipped when their eyes met. Anything he had been doing, he found a reason to leave behind and do something else. Anything else. As long as it was away from her. In truth, it was as if she weren’t even there.
It stung.
More than it probably should have.
People noticed. People asked. She played dumb. They chopped it up to Jax being Jax. She didn’t care for the coddling and comforting that came with their pitying looks. When Jax outright ignored her presence. She didn’t want to be pitied.
She sighs, turning on her side. Deciding she’s counted the wrinkles in her curtains long enough. She catches her reflection in the mirror on her dresser instead. Tired, lidded eyes stared back. She closes them and descends into the darkness behind them. Jax’s face emerges once more. Not the usual blank-eyed stare with the wide cartoony grin. No, the face that allowed her to glimpse at the real Jax. The small dilated pupils, the wrinkles beneath his desperate eyes, the wavering grin. The cracks in his voice as he insisted she was nothing more than a toy to him. The exhaustion in his features as he pleaded that she just let it go.
Let it go.
She should. She really should. It wasn’t her responsibility. But she couldn’t let it go. She didn’t know why. There was no good word for it. Rather, a feeling, the same feeling she’d felt when Gumigoo had begun to crumble before her after discovering he wasn’t real. A deep, sinking, nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. Urging her on. Something that got under her skin and made her incapable of staying still or relaxing. An itch.
But there was something else. Something more obvious, and the signs were right there. The way Jax acted, the erratic look in his eyes. His isolating nature. And one phrase that burned its way into her head, clicking the pieces into place.
“You don’t even know what people are like before they abstract! They are not pleasant to be around! Like at all!”
A realization that was just as horrifying as it was surprising.
Jax was going to abstract.
She didn’t know when or how, but all she knew was that it would be soon. The cracks had always been there; she had just been fortunate enough to see them. How long had they been forming? Spreading? Every day that went by, she wondered if Jax had already abstracted. If it was too late? Every time she saw him, it was a relief and yet a concern. Because how much time did she have left? She was wasting it lying here. But what could she do about it? What would they do if he abstracted?
Nothing.
A voice spoke in her head.
Nothing at all. Cane would get rid of him. And that would be the end of it.
Move on. It's not your problem.
The voice whispered.
Pomni opens her eyes, fist clenched in the sheets. “It doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve help.” She mutters to nobody. She drags her hands down her face, having had enough of this. She sits up and slips off her bed. She was going to find something to do. Sitting here wasn’t helping at all.
Stepping out into the hallway proves to only make her situation worse. Or perhaps better? As the door creaks open and her eyes flicker up, they meet a pair of surprised square pupils. His eyes widened. “Jax…” The bunny a few feet from her door. Frozen in place. For a moment, they simply stare at each other, and Pomni racks her brain for something to say. All she manages, though, is a “Where you…”
It's enough to get him to snap out of his trance. He blinks, and it's as if a switch is flipped. His attention swivels away from her. He immediately treks on. “Hey, Cane! You around here? I’m bored!”
She takes one step out, but stops herself. Visions of their spat flash in her mind briefly enough to freeze her in place. Leaving her to watch him go instead. His steps only quicken until he turns the corner and is out of view. She shakes her head, snapping out of her hesitation. “Jax!” She calls after him. She stumbled over her small legs to catch up with him. “Hang on! I-I need to talk-” she rounds the corner.
Right into Ragatha.
She stumbles back just as the ragdoll sputters out, “Sorry! Sorry. I didn't see you there.”
“It's okay.” Pomni looks around Ragatha. To the colorful cubic halls beyond. Separating into 3 different directions. No sign of the tall purple figure. Disappointment fills her as she realizes she'd lost him. She sighs.
Ragatha, ever the perceptive, notices immediately. “Hey, you okay?”
Pomni meets her one-eyed gaze. Unthinking, she asks, “Did Jax come through here at all?”
Ragatha's nose and eye scrunch as she makes a face. Rounded hands on her hips, she says, “What did he do now?”
“Nothing.” She answers too fast. With a clearing of her throat, she adds, “No. I'm just looking for him. I… just need to talk to him.”
“Oh. Well, I haven't seen him. I'm sorry.”
Dejected Pomni replies, “Oh. Okay. Thanks anyway.” She side steps Ragatha and steps forward.
Ragatha turns, “Hey, Pomni?”
“Yeah?” Pomni faces her.
Ragatha fiddles with a strand of her yarn hair. Tugging self-consciously on it. “Are… are you sure you're okay?” Her tone is soft, treading carefully. Pomni tenses, knowing where it's going. “You just…” she pauses, lips pressing together. “You seemed like you were getting along with him. But ever since that adventure, well…” The implications hang in the air between them.
Pomni stands there, at a loss on whether she should confide in Ragatha or not. It would be nice to finally talk to someone about it. But all the same, she knows Ragatha's feelings about Jax. Would she really be willing to listen?
The hesitation must be viable on her features because Ragatha says gently, as if she were a frightened animal, “If you wanna talk, I'll listen.”
She mulls it over. Crossing her arms as she replays the fight over in her head. The words he said. She knew he didn't mean them, but they still hurt. They still cut deep. She glances up. Ragatha waits patiently.
Sighing, Pomni finally says quietly, “Okay.” She fiddles with her gloves. Pondering what to say, what not to say. Being mindful that Ragatha still doesn’t have the best relationship with Jax. She eventually takes the plunge and speaks, “we did fight. Yeah. And he did say some awful things to me.”
“Oh…Pomni I’m sorry.”
Her fingers dig into her palm. Swallowing the prickles of irritation at Ragatha’s pity. She ignores it, continuing, “But I know he didn’t mean them. I think…he’s just hurting a lot. And I think he needs help.” She expects Ragatha to disagree, to simply state that Jax is bad and that’s all he is. She wouldn’t blame her for saying that. He wasn’t a saint, and he was far from being a good person. However, when she does look up, Ragatha doesn’t look irritated or like she’s pitying her. Rather, there’s a sorrowful thoughtfulness to her expression. As if she understands. “Ragatha?”
Her lip quivers. “I’m sorry.”
Confused, Pomni asked, “Why are you apologizing?”
Ragatha presses her hands against her eyes. “I should have warned you. I tried to reach out to him before, too.” She drops her hands and crosses her arms. “But he pushed me away, too. I-I wanted to warn you- that he would probably do that to you too, but- I didn’t-” she trails off.
“It's okay,” Pomni says. Silently appreciating Ragatha, respecting her choices rather than trying to control them. Yet not quite knowing how to say it. “I’m an adult, I can make my own choices. And I did.” She decides to say.
Ragatha looks at her for a long moment, “Pomni, I don’t know if Jax wants to be helped.” Her words aren’t harsh. Simply honest. And she can respect that. Because there is a truth to them.
“I know.” She says quietly, “But I’m not ready to give up, not yet. I don’t know Jax as well as the rest of you. But…I know he seems like someone who's really lost.”
“Jax doesn’t really seem to like anyone.” She shrugs. “Honestly, you're the first person I’ve seen him actually like in a long time. So, maybe you can get through to him.”
“I’m gonna try.”
Ragatha's brows furrow, gazing at Pomni’s solemn expression. “Just… be careful.” There’s a guilt to her eyes as she utters those words. A guilt that comes with thoughts she does not voice.
Pomni’s eyes snap up as if in a daze. She gives a weary smile and a thumbs-up. “Thanks. I think I’m gonna keep looking for him.”
Ragatha hesitates, “Do you want some help?”
She considers it…
Unbeknownst to the pair, an eavesdropping rabbit listens from beyond the cubic corner. A deep frown edged into his features. Dark hollow eyes. He sighs, making a tight fist. He didn’t want to hear anymore, and so he turned to exit before he’s found. Nearly smacking into those floating dentures. He yelps, startled and caught off guard. Tumbling over his feet right into the crossroad.
“Well, hello there, Jax!” Caine announces loudly, floating out from behind the square walls. And hovering over the bunny on the ground.
Pomni and Ragatha both turn immediately. One surprised the other, horrified.
“Jax?!”