Chapter Text
Nova ran, her hair flying behind her, and her heart racing. She didn't know what was happening, and the emotional whiplash of the day stopped her from having any coherent thoughts. All she knew was that she needed to talk to him. To make sure that he was okay.
She ran after him, not quite knowing which direction he had gone, but having a pretty good guess. She ran straight to the middle school, stopping when she quickly rounded the corner of it, her palms landing on the wall corner as she looked around out of breath. And sure enough, in the same alcove of trees, there he was.
His head was in his hands, and he was crying, his back to the wall. He looked up when she approached, eyes red and lip split. She felt him survey her, and she nearly broke at his expression.
He laughed wetly, looking around at the familiar alcove of trees.
“Deja vu.” he said softly, before looking down at his hands. Slowly, she came closer, kneeling next to him.
“Victor.” she said, after pausing briefly. Her hand hovered over his arm, as her voice shook.
“Yes Sunshine?” he asked, turning to look at her, wiping the blood from his lip. And she let her hand drift upwards, wiping the lone tear off his face, and staring into his face as her finger traced the bruise on his cheek delicately.
He swallowed thickly, looking into her eyes. And they sat there for a minute, neither sure what to do it. But then, he shook his head, and stood up, wincing as he ran a hand through his hair.
“No, no, no. I can’t do this. I can’t.” he said, looking away, almost sounding pained. She stood up, confused, and more than a little worried.
“Whats wrong?” she asked, putting a hand on his arm. But he just shook his head again, glancing back.
“I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being around you, and being forced to stay away at the same time. Forced to keep you at arms length, when all I want to do is the opposite.” he said, turning to her. Her eyes got wide, and she opened and closed her mouth a few times.
“What are you talking about?” she settled on saying, looking him in the eyes. He just shook his head again, and looked her fully in the eyes.
“I’m talking about this year. How for the first time, I am around you again, and I have hope like never before. How you smile at me, and hang out with me just like you used to. I don't know how to handle it.” he said. She looked him in the eyes, and she finally spoke.
“Why? Why is it so hard? Can't you just be my friend, and we can be like we used to?” she said, voicing the dangerous question for the first time out loud. But he shook his head.
“No. Because something will ruin it again. What has changed? I'm still my aunt's nephew. You're still your fathers daughter. And as long as we let that divide us, I can't help but feel like I don't have you. Not fully. What Ray did today is proof of that.” He shook his head.
“It's too hard. I can't lose you again, and the only way to ensure i dont is if I stay away, or I fix that.” he said quietly. And her eyes filled with tears, as she threw her hands up.
“Why is it so hard Victor? Why do you care so much about me?” she said, her voice pained.
“Because I’m in love with you!”
She fell silent, inhaling sharply as she looked at him. His chest was heaving with the intensity of the conversation, and the words seemed as though they were ripped from his throat.
His eyes held a thousand emotions, as he looked at her, and he opened his mouth to speak.
“I’ve loved you since that first day we met, when you smiled at me, and told me your name. I loved you every time we talked, and every time we worked together. Every smile, through Christmas and Halloween. Even through the years of silence. I’ve been in love with you through it all.”
He stepped closer, and she felt like she couldn't breathe with the intensity of his gaze
“And I tried. For my own sake, and for yours to let you go. But I never can. You are engraved in my heart, and I can never get rid of you. And the truth is? I don’t even want to.” he said, stepping even closer. She felt his presence like a force, as she looked up into his beautiful brown eyes.
“What… Why?” she said finally, her voice shaking. He reached out a tentative hand to her face, before turning and brushing her hair off her shoulder.
“Because there was no way for me not to. You were kind to everyone. You didn't judge me for what I was, and you wanted to help people. It's why I didn't understand when you got mad at me about my aunt. That's why I couldn’t apologize.” he said, his voice quiet.
“I don’t… i didn't know.” she said quietly. He smiled sadly.
“I know Nova.”
His expression darkened, and he looked deeper into her eyes, as if searching for something.
“Why did you do it, Nova? Why did you throw it all away? Me?” he asked, his voice breaking. And she just stood there, wanting to make excuses, and declare the same reasons. But she just.. Couldn't. He deserved the truth. She owed him that.
“My… my father.” she said finally, looking him in the eyes. He looked up, his eyes widening.
“Your… father?” he said. She nodded.
“And Ray. They found out that you were Victoria Barton's nephew, and… they didn't like that. They told me about your parents, and your aunt. They told me that you lied about it.” she said quietly. He tilted his head.
“I didn't lie. Maybe I didn't tell you the whole truth, but I never claimed to have parents. Or no association with political figures. Just that I didn't care for it, which is true. I still don’t understand.” he said, mumbling the last part.
“They told me to leave you alone, they… they said you were manipulating me. That you wouldn’t have had any reason to lie, unless you were hiding something.” she said, the admission quiet. Victor stepped closer, and they were so close now, that she could have looked up and practically brushed noses with him.
“But I wasn't. I think you know that. I think you've known that all along.” he said quietly. Then, he shook his head slowly.
“I may have been dishonest, but Nova… I don't think I was the one manipulating you.” he said quietly. She let out a little gasp of disbelief, and her vision fogged, as she leaned her forehead against his. It didn't feel real, and it didn't feel comfortable. It felt… almost painful. Like the world was coming into sharper focus, but the light hurt her eyes.
“No. No, no.” she said, pushing him and stepping back.
“He wouldn't do that to me… right?” she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. Victor didn't respond. That was all the answer she needed.
She shoved him again, her tears coming faster.
“You… you don't believe that. That's not why he… No. No!” She said, pushing him, her eyes spilling over with tears.
“Nova-” he tried to reason, but she cut him off.
“They love me! They would never hurt me like that on purpose!” she yelled
“Ray just beat me for no reason other than who I am, and then made fun of me using the most traumatic event of my life! They are not saints Nova, and the fact that you are blind to that because you are family is exactly the problem.” he exclaimed, gesturing wildly at her outburst. She stepped back, shocked at the passion in his voice. And as much as she hated it, she… she understood.
“But why Victor? Why would they do that to me?” she said, her voice turning light, as she wrapped her arms around herself
Victor slowly backed up, shaking his head lightly.
“I.. I'm sorry Nova. but I just can't do this.” he said quietly. She looked up at him, her blue eyes meeting his brown ones. He was also crying.
“It hurts. Seeing you sad, knowing I'm part of the cause of it, physically hurts me. But I… I can't do this. Not when you aren't you, and you are still partially his puppet.” he said. And she straightened slightly, looking him in the eyes.
“I dont… know what to do.” she said, her voice unsteady. He tilted his head, his smile sad.
“I think you do Nova. And that is why you're scared. And until you can know, and be willing to do it? I just… I can't be there for you. I'm sorry.” he said quietly.
And then, like a ghost, he was gone. Off into the dimming day, his broken voice a phantom in her ear, and his absence causing a wind to blow back her hair.
She stood there, tears silently streaming down her face. Because what could she do? There was nothing to say, think or do. He loved her. And she was the one who had ruined it.
She looked out, over the field, contemplating. Would… her own father really do that to her? Over… over politics?
She didn’t want to believe it. The daughter, the golden girl that he had raised in his own image, denied it. Told her not to listen, that her father would never lead her astray.
But then. There was another part of her, maybe the real part. The girl that befriended zombies, and ran recklessly through Fields. The girl that became a flier, because she wanted to take risks, and got into journalism for the thrill of real life. The girl who had fallen in love with a boy she was never supposed to meet.
That side was more logical. More practiced. More… free. And so, she clung to it, closing her eyes, and trying to see it as she clutched her aching stomach.
And suddenly, it was as if the focus on the world shifted into place. And she saw it, clear as day, all the things Victor had said.
“It’s for your own good Nova.”
“Then why would her lie.”
“He was manipulating you.”
“Trust me.”
“I love you.”
All her fathers lies. All the deception, falling into place in her mind. And suddenly, she saw. And now, she didn’t know how to react.
Her first thought was Victor. The years that she had let get away from them for this. All the times she sent him away. How she just did it again.
And then, something seemed to snap. She couldn’t do it again, couldn’t sit by and wait while she let her father blow up her whole life.
Before she even knew where she was going, she started sprinting. She knew what she had to do, and who she had to talk to. She needed answers, NOW. She couldn’t let it happen again.
She couldn’t let him get away again.
———————————————————————
She sprinted, her hair flying behind her as she ran home
She needed to reach them. She needed to see her father. Because if it was true, if her father was someone she had never wanted him to be…
She needed to know. Needed to know if he stole those years from her on purpose.
She approached the front porch, out of breath and fuming mad. Her anger had only grown with each heavy and quick step against the pavement as she ran, and she felt ready to take on the world.
Or punch someone. Either worked.
Her mother was sitting on the porch, and her father was leaning against her doorframe when she approached. She stopped in front of the steps panting, and looking her mother in the eyes.
Said mother stood up, her eyes wide, and her father straightened as her mother walked down the stairs to her.
“Where have you been? Are you okay?” Her mother said, grabbing her chin and turning her face in concern before hugging her.
Nova shook her head, knowing full well that her eyes were red from crying, as she kept her eyes trained on her father.
“I was with a friend.” She said. Her mother urgently had her go up the stairs, talking all the while.
“Something happened, come on in.” She said, her tone worried. Nova forced her eyes to leave her father, as she avoided him completely as she walked into the house. Comfortable, but slightly confused, her father followed her into the house and closed the door.
She came into the front room, expecting something dumb, and instead stopping dead when she saw who was sitting on her couch.
Ray looked up, and froze at the sight of Nova. He opened his mouth, and then closed it at the sight of her, like he didn’t know what to say. There was an ice pack on his clearly black eye, his left arm was in a sling, his lip was split, and there was a cut on his cheek from Victor's silver rings.
Her mother came in, sitting next to Ray with concern.
“His mother went out for a while, to go to the pharmacists. A fight broke out at the carnival apparently. Did you see what happened to him?” She asked, her voice concerned. Nova snorted, taking her jacket off.
“Nothing he didn’t deserve.” She said. Her mother gasped, and her father inhaled sharply as Ray winced and looked down.
“Nova. That is not okay to say about your friend.” He said, his tone stern. Nova scowled, still looking at the floor.
“He’s not my friend.”
Ray winced, and her father looked furious.
“Nova, that is no way to talk to your father, and especially not about Ray. Where the hell is this coming from?” He snapped, as her mother looked between them, increasingly confused and alarmed.
The way he said it, made something inside her snap, and she whipped towards him, her eyes furious.
“No dad. You know what is no way to talk to your daughter? Convincing her that her closest friend is manipulating her, and then pretending you are the innocent one.” She snapped. Her father looked stunned, and her mother’s eyes snapped towards her father.
“Cyrus. What is she talking about?” Her mother said, her tone becoming alarmed. Ray looked at them, his expression scared.
Nova laughed, the sound bitter.
“Oh, do you want to tell her? Or should I?” She said to her father.
“Want to tell her about how you told me that because Victor didn’t tell me about his parents death, that he was lying to me about everything? Want to tell her, how you told me, that he likely only became my friend for his aunt's campaign, even though he never liked politics? Want to tell her, how you manipulated your twelve year old daughter, and didn’t have any remorse? Let me be miserable for two years?”
Her father looked stunned, as he stepped closer.
“Nova,” he finally said, a placating hand out. But she just took a step back, shaking her head.
“Tell me it isn’t true. Tell me that you didn’t do it.” She said, her eyes furious and bright.
He stayed silent. And that was all the answer needed. Nova laughed, the sound disbelieving and bitter.
“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I fell for it. That I let you manipulate me. That I let you take YEARS of my life with him, because you were too selfish to let me have my own opinions!” She said, her words bitter, and ripped from her throat. With a whirl, she gestured wildly to Ray, while facing her mom.
“Want to know what happened to him? He beat up Victor. While he didn’t fight back. Over, and over again, punching him till he couldn’t breathe, and taunting him. Victor only swung back, because Ray insulted ME, and he made a joke about Victors mother’s tragic death. The single most traumatic thing of his life. And do you wanna know why?” She said, pointing to her father.
“Because HE, manipulated Ray the same way. He made him violent and spiteful, and willing to do his bidding in exchange for an affection his own father never gives. And he did all this, to benefit himself. And I was too blind to see it.” She said, her voice cracking as she turned away.
“Nova,” her mother said stepping forward, as her voice cracked. But nova shook her head, stepping back again.
“Want to know the worst part? Victor doesn’t even hate me. He’s so kind, that all he has done is exactly what I asked. Left me alone. But even now, he still helps me when I need it, wipes my tears, and picks me up. And I… I love him.” She said, wiping her eyes. Her parents inhaled sharply as more tears spilled from her eyes.
“And you know what? I could have had years. YEARS, with him. But I didn’t, because of you. And now, once again, because of you, I might have lost him forever.”
She took a step back, grabbing her coat.
“You’re not my best friend. You're not my father. You're not my family. You’re dead to me.” She said. And then, she ran down ghe hall, and down the porch.
“Nova!” She heard her mother cry, as she ran away.
“Where are you going?”
“Anywhere. Anywhere other than here.” She said, the words practically a sob. And she ran, streaking past the neighborhood where she grew up, and past her mothers heartbroken face, as she left the innocent part of herself that blindly trusted her family, behind.
She ran until her legs hurt, faintly thinking that she had done this a lot today. Before she even knew where she was going, she pushed open heavy iron gates, and began to run into a dark neighborhood, with run down building, in the middle of the night.
She stopped on a familiar weathered porch, the sound of laughing and talking audible from the inside. Before she could stop herself, she reached up and knocked once.
The noise on the inside quieted. And then, the door slightly opened, and Zoey appeared, her casual clothes on, and her hair wet.
“Nova?” She asked in surprise, Zed and Addison usuals behind her, with varying degrees of shock on their faces.
“What are you doing here?”
She opened her mouth to respond, not sure what to say. But instead of words, a single sob escaped her lips. And before she knew it, she was collapsing into Zoey’s arms, crying.
Zoey closed the door, and lowered them to the floor, as she clutched her friend, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort. Soon, the older kids got up, and joined, leading them to the couch.
And she sat there in her friend's arms, crying. Crying for Victor, and summer, and all that she had lost to naive hopes and dreams
———————————————————————
Victor stepped through his front door, his eyes bloodshot a bruise on his face and his lip split. He opened the door quietly and shut it in a similar fashion, freezing and wincing when he saw his aunt sitting right there at the dining table.
The second she saw him enter she stood and walked over to him, her expression furious.
“Where were you? You were supposed to be home hours ago. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I-“
She cut herself off when she got a good look at his face seeing the bruise and the blood and the eyes red from crying.
“…Victor?” She said, her tone morphing into concern.
“Are you all right?”
And he just stood there, his shoulders hunched in defeat. He should have deflected, should have made up an excuse and left. But he was just so TIRED. He was sad, and he felt like he could collapse.
He felt like a little kid, like he was 5 years old again, after scraping his knee. He wanted to cry, and he wanted to sleep.
He wanted his mom.
And so, he began to cry. And his aunt looked at him in surprise, before immediately wrapping him in a hug. She lowered them to the floor, as he started sobbing into her shoulder.
And they stayed like that for a while, the exhaustion catching up to him. Because for once, he couldn’t hide anymore.
For once, he just let go.