Chapter Text
Fuyumi: You did so well at the sports festival Shouto! Sorry I had work, but I saw the clips on my lunch break. How are you feeling?
Shouto: Good. I think my classmate is All Might’s secret love child.
(several people are typing…)
Touya: I thought All Might was gay.
Shouto: Another piece for the conspiracy board. Thank you, Aniki.
Natsuo: You have a conspiracy board?
Shouto: In Powerpoint.
Natsuo: You know how to use Powerpoint?
Shouto: A classmate taught me.
Fuyumi: Can we get back to the part where you thought your classmate was All Might’s secret love child?
Touya: And can we tell Dad to see him lose his shit?
Shouto: I’ll set up a Zoom meeting.
Natsuo: Sweet.
Fuyumi: You know how to use Zoom now too? Who are you?
__________
Shouto: I am in love.
Natsuo: With soba, we know Shouto. You’ve only had it for dinner every week since you were five.
Fuyumi: You should come home for dinner soon, Shouto!
Shouto: Thank you, Nee-san. But this time I don’t mean soba. I mean a boy.
Touya: Oh?
Natsuo: It’s like he has a homo-radar.
Touya: It’s gaydar, for fuck’s sake. God, you really are the token straight.
Fuyumi: Tell us about the boy, Shouto!
Shouto: He brushes his teeth like he’s personally offended at the germs in his mouth. He communicates almost exclusively in screams. I want to kiss him under the moonlight.
Touya: Wait a minute, is this that blonde gremlin that was exploding at his classmates the last time I visited?
Fuyumi: Exploding? He has a temper?
Touya: Yes. With literal explosions.
Shouto: Bakugou Katsuki. My future husband.
Touya: No.
Natsuo: Uh oh.
Shouto: Why not?
Touya: That little shit thinks he’s god’s gift to mankind.
Shouto: He is.
Touya: He looks like a drowning rat and can’t take a joke. You are not dating this weirdo.
Fuyumi: While I usually think that Touya-nii is too protective, I have to agree with him this time. Bakugou is a little… much.
Natsuo: I say go for it!
Touya: Natsuo.
Shouto: Thank you, Natsuo. Just for that you get to be the best man at our wedding.
Touya: Hey!
Natsuo: Sweet!
Shouto: I have to go. The love of my life is screaming at my best friend.
Fuyumi: Oh my.
Touya: I forbid this, Shouto!
__________
Shouto: I got him to sit next to me quietly for twenty minutes before he ran off to cause harm to his best friend. We’re definitely dating.
Touya: Shouto.
__________
Touya: Keigo wants to be added to the chat. Can I?
Fuyumi: Absolutely not!
Touya: Damn, okay. Tell me how you really feel about my boyfriend, ‘Yumi.
Natsuo: I knew Fuyumi hated him all along.
Shouto: Nee-san, how could you?
Touya: Thank you, Shouto!
Shouto: We could’ve formed an alliance of hatred.
Natsuo: BWAHAHAHA.
Touya: Not this again.
Shouto: He always stole my leftovers!
Natsuo: And your big brother?
Shouto: Shut up, Natsuo.
Natsuo: You have a brother complex.
Touya: And yet he won’t listen to me when I tell him to dump his boyfriend.
Shouto: He is a great person WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW HIM. WHICH YOU REFUSE TO DO.
Touya: He deliberately made my food intolerably spicy when we came to visit just to mess with me.
Touya: Anyway, not the point (although Bakugou sucks).
Shouto is typing….
Natsuo: Don’t even, Shouto. Gross.
Touya: Fuyumi, why can’t I add my boyfriend, who you’ve known since we were kids by the way, to the group chat?
Fuyumi: Because then Rumi is going to ask to be added and she can’t see all this!!!
Natsuo: Wow, Fuyumi. Wow.
Fuyumi: READ UP. Would you want Nezuko to read that?
Natsuo: …. Point taken. No SO’s in the group chat. Ever.
Touya: If he hasn’t been scared off yet, he probably never will be. Just saying.
Touya: Besides, this will make coordinating get-togethers easier.
Fuyumi: I say no.
Natsuo: Yeah, same. Sorry Touya.
Shouto: I say yes.
Touya: Thank you!
Shouto: Only if I can invite Katsuki.
Touya: Fuck that.
Touya: Keigo will live.
Fuymi: Thank god for Shouto’s terrible boyfriend.
Shouto: He is a ray of sunshine.
Natsuo: Sure, Shouto. Sure.
__________
Fuyumi: Is everyone ready to come home for Mom and Dad’s anniversary party?
Shouto: I am! I got permission from Mr. Aizawa already.
Natsuo: Count me in.
Touya: Same.
Fuyumi: Awesome!
Shouto: Will we have soba?
Fuyumi: Of course! And karage and all the works 🙂
Touya: Keigo and I might be late, but we will be there. He got scheduled for a weird shift and I’m picking him up since his car broke.
Natuso: He literally has wings????
Touya: He gets tired after a long day, leave him be. He’s excited too, hasn’t seen everyone in a while.
Fuyumi: Will he be meeting Bakugou for the first time?
Shouto: No, he met him when he came to talk to the class.
Touya: He was mildly disturbed.
Natsuo: Lies. You told me he was really impressed with Shouto’s boyfriend and wanted him to be his intern.
Touya: NATSUO.
Shouto: He deserves it. He deserves everything.
Touya: Gross.
Fuyumi: Will Nezuko be able to make it, Natsu?
Natsuo: Yes, and PLEASE BE NORMAL AROUND HER.
Natsuo: LIKE DEADASS I’M GOING TO MARRY THIS GIRL, PLEASE DON’T SCARE HER OFF.
Natsuo: I WILL DO DESPICABLE THINGS IF MY GIRLFRIEND RUNS AWAY TERRIFIED.
Fuyumi: Nothing can be worse than the time I brought Rumi home for the first time as my girlfriend.
Touya: Oh god. I thought our parents’ response to my boyfriend would be the worst. Nothing can compare to what they said to you, though.
Shouto: Wait, what happened?
Fuyumi: Don’t tell him!
Touya: Dad tried to do the “If you hurt my daughter” spiel, but he sort of just got awkward because he couldn’t threaten to beat a girl up.
Natsuo: That wasn’t even the best part.
Shouto: Oh?
Fuyumi: Natsuo, NOOOO!!!!!
Natsuo: Mom pulled Rumi aside and explained that though she didn’t know how lesbian sex worked, to be please be careful with Yumi and that if her quirk had any side effects which would allow Nee-san to get pregnant, to please use whatever protection was appropriate for her anatomy and quirk.
Shouto: WTF??????
Touya: It was actually so bad you couldn’t even laugh. You just had to sit there, staring in horror.
Fuyumi: As if you never got a weird sex talk!! Keigo is literally part bird!!!
Touya: ….You know, we actually never did, unless he didn’t tell me about it.
Natsuo: We should ask him tonight!
Touya: Or not, unless you want to accidentally rope Nezuko into the conversation.
Natsuo: FUCK NO.
Shouto: So our parents are les-phobic but okay with gay men?
Fuyumi: No that’s not it! They were just. Uh.
Fuyumi: Anyway, they love Rumi! And be here by 6:30 sharp!
Touya: Yes ma’am.
__________
Touya: I need you guys to be free on Saturday, 7:00 sharp, at Shibuya Sky. Be inconspicuous as possible.
Fuyumi: What’s the occasion?
Shouto: He’s asking Keigo-nii to marry him.
Fuyumi: WHAT??????
Natsuo: HOLY SHIT CONGRATS DUDE!!!!
Fuyumi: Do you need any help? Setting up flowers? Hiding the ring? Picking an outfit?
Natsuo: I CALL DIBS ON BEING THE BEST MAN!!!
Shouto: NO FAIR, I GET TO BE THE BEST MAN!!!
Touya: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Touya: Chill the fuck out.
Fuyumi: So you aren’t going to propose?
Touya: I am, I’m just trying to figure out how Shouto knew.
Fuyumi: OH MY GOD YOU’RE PROPOSING!!!!!!!
Shouto: I’m going to be honest, I just guessed.
Shouto: You’ll still be our brother though, right?
Natsuo: Shouto…
Touya: Of course I will??? What brought this on?
Shouto: When you and Keigo-nii get married, you’re going to start your own family and we’ll see you less and less. And we already don’t see you enough.
Fuyumi: Sweetie…
Touya: Baby bro, we’re not going anywhere.
Touya: Maybe we’ll have kids some day, but we’re never going to leave you guys behind.
Touya: No matter how busy we get, I get, I’ll always be a phone call or text away. I know we don’t have as much time these days, but I will never, never not make you a priority.
Touya: Family doesn’t break just because it expands.
Touya: I’m your big brother for the rest of our lives.
Touya: Okay, big guy?
Shouto: Okay.
Shouto: I love you, Touya-nii.
Shouto: And Keigo-nii.
Shouto: Even if he eats my leftovers.
Natsuo: Love how Shouto just. Holds the longest grudges lol.
Fuyumi: We should have a sibling day some time soon!
Touya: I’m off on Monday. You guys want to ditch work/school?
Natsuo: I’m down!
Shouto: I’ll ask Mom to take me out of school for the day.
Touya: Yumi?
Fuyumi: For you guys?
Fuyumi: Any time ♥️.
__________
Natsuo: Wait, weren’t we supposed to help Touya-nii with his proposal?
Shouto: Ooops.
Fuyumi: Shit, I forgot! What do you need, Touya?
Touya: Just you guys to be there.
Fuyumi: On it!
Natsuo: Will be there!
Shouto: I will be there to give my blessing.
Touya: Lol, thanks kid.
Touya: Seriously. It means a lot that you’ll all be there.
__________
Touya: I know we wanted to have a siblings-only chat, and we still should, but I think we need to make a chat with all of us and the SO’s.
Touya: We need a faster way to communicate if things happen or we need to coordinate.
Touya: Keigo texting everyone individually about my accident was pretty inconvenient.
Fuyumi: As much as I don’t love the idea of my future wife witnessing our conversations, I think it’s time. Even though it turned out to be nothing, it’s a good idea for all of our safety.
Shouto: Does this include Bakugou? I know you guys don’t like him, but we train and work together all the time, especially now with our internships.
Touya: We like Bakguou, we just need to give you shit. But yeah, we should add him too.
Natsuo: I think this is the first time Touya has said anything positive about Bakugou.
Natsuo: It kinda creeps me out.
Shouto: I knew you would like him eventually!
Touya: Yeah, yeah. He’s still a hothead.
Fuyumi: A really sweet hothead though. Shouto, didn’t you tell him about the Valentine’s date Bakguou set up for you?
Touya: Oh he did.
Touya: My phone storage crashed from all the pictures he sent.
Touya: Thanks for that, by the way. Now Keigo’s expectations have skyrocketed.
Natsuo: I never showed Nezuko.
Touya: Smart man.
Fuyumi: I never had to tell Rumi anything.
Touya: Wow, Fuyumi. Brag much?
Shouto: It’s why all our world leaders will eventually be lesbians.
Fuyumi: He has a point!
Touya: I support this.
Natsuo: #LesbiansRunTheWorld
__________
Siblings + SO’s chat
Keigo: Finally part of the chat! You guys should’ve added me ages ago! I’ve literally been your brother for years.
Rumi: Hi all! Glad to be added, FINALLY.
Nezuko: So glad to be in a chat with all of you!
Touya: Don’t look at me - I tried convincing them to create an SO chat years ago.
Rumi: Fuyumi?
Fuyumi: In my defense!
Fuyumi: You know, just wait.
Nezuko: I think you’re all wonderful!
Shouto: Nezuko-nee is too precious for this world.
Natsuo: ♥️
Nezuko: Aww, thank you Shouto!
Bakugou: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!!!!!!
Natsuo: Stop looking at your phone then, genius.
Shouto: He’s not, but I’m texting and he’s not getting cuddles.
Bakguou: SHUT IT.
Shouto: He needs his cuddles or he gets very grumpy.
Touya: As if he isn’t already?
Bakgou: I’LL BLAST YOU TO HELL BIRD-FUCKER.
Keigo: Bird fucker? Nice.
Touya: If you change my name in your contacts, we’re not ordering fried chicken for a month.
Keigo: Bird fucker? Don’t know her.
Touya: Smart man.
Fuyumi: @Rumi See?
Rumi: Lol.