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The transparent snow-fogged shop window displayed an assortment of stuffed animals – teddy bears of every colour, a calico cat with a ringing bell around its neck, a dragon from the recent cartoon. Under this December snow, the yellow light of the interior looked warm and inviting.
John had observed how Lovecraft paused every time they had passed this particular block. How his steps slowed and anchored in front of the display with a silent marvel in his gaze. The blonde had long known his friend’s eccentricities; despite his gaunt, intimidating exterior, Lovecraft had the whimsical likings of a child—ice cream, chocolates, balloons, stuffed animals among other things. And John also knew that silent stare was Lovecraft’s own subconscious way of expressing his interest despite his unchanged expression.
This time, John tugged Lovecraft’s sleeve with a gloved hand, smiling as fog appeared with each word he uttered, “Let’s have a look inside, Love.”
At first, Lovecraft only stared silently, as if not processing any of the words at all. John repeated himself with a tilted head, “Uh, ya don’t wanna?”
Lovecraft shook his head quickly, “I do,” and the small bell atop the door chimed.
Inside, the display only became more intricate, with whole sections decorated like a plush city. Model trains circled wooden tracks whistling every few intervals, a display of music boxes lined one shelf, all completed with a big festive tree at the centre for the holidays. Standing amidst everything, the place radiated with more warmth than from the small view outside. The lady on the counter greeted them with a smile and adjusted her apron as she asked if they needed help. John shook his head politely and followed behind Lovecraft to the wall of stuffed animals that caught his attention.
These would be lovely gifts for his younger sister, he thought, picking up one of the stuffed bears at his eye level. He inspected the shiny eyes and adjusted the red ribbon it wore, turning to see the price stuck on the embroidered tag by its leg. John barely held in his gasp, his eyebrow raised in surprise, “Jeez- sixty dollars-” he whispered to himself, “Dis bear better cook us breakfast an’ help with the chores, damn!”
Lovecraft noticed John’s little mumbles and turned to him with a curious look, “Is it really that costly…?”
John’s gaze threw around, making sure the lady at the counter couldn’t hear him as he whispered with a hand covering the side of his face, “I ain’t surprised, it’s da city. And this brand is pretty darn popular,” he fiddled with the tag to show Lovecraft the bright red logo.
“Then shall we leave…?” His tone almost had audible disappointment.
John blinked and shook his head quickly, “No, no, we can keep lookin’. I mean they’re pricey but I ain’t get ta spend much all year. ‘Sides it’s Christmas, I’ll splurge for my family,” he smiled reassuringly.
For his dear sister, sixty dollars was a priceless amount he was more than willing to pay.
They continued to browse the shelves, eyeing each little stuffed animal with varying sizes, each one with the signature brand’s red logo tagged. Lovecraft suddenly noticed an odd contraption in one end of the room – a large machine filled with cotton stuffing and a long pipe curled at the bottom. It seemed like a claw machine, but with no prizes or mechanical claw. He wondered for a moment if the prize to win was cotton. Around the area were several small display shelves with lines of very small clothes in various colours and prints, and he wondered if they were baby clothes. John took notice of his long empty stare and turned to see what was puzzling him.
Just then, a mother and her daughter approached the big cotton machine with what looked like a deflated teddy bear. Lovecraft raised an eyebrow at the sight, he had not known they sold hollow animals.
“What is she doing with that taxidermised stuffed animal…?” Lovecraft mumbled.
John broke into a small fit of laughter, “Jeez, Love, count on ya to make stuffin’ a cute ol’ teddy bear sound scary,” he pointed at the machine, and now another lady in an apron came by and slid the pipe to the back of the hollow bear, turning on the machine, “See there? They’re stuffin’ the bear she chose,” he pointed across the room to the rows of clothes and shoes, “An’ she can customise it with clothes an’ stuff. It's like a service.”
“Oh,” Lovecraft thought for a moment. What an incredible concept—humans are always so creative, he thought—to create their own original combination of details for their stuffed animals, giving them a completely new plush, tailored to all their biases and likings.
Standing by the make-your-own section, the dark-haired man scanned the rows of hollow plushies with John close behind, somewhat amused and giggling. John stopped at the sight of a grey lop-eared bunny with a rather bored frown, and held it up next to Lovecraft with a playful smile, “This one’s you, Love.”
“Hm?” Lovecraft tilted his head, observing the plush with a similar frown, “How so…?”
John laughed, “See? Ya got the same face right now!”
Lovecraft blinked and scanned the rows, picking up a golden dog with a big happy grin, and bright bead eyes, holding it up next to John with a keen eye. “This one looks like you then…”
“What-” John gasped in mock offence, “No way!” He stuck his tongue out.
Lovecraft raised an eyebrow and his gaze danced between John’s face then the dog, “It is uncanny…”
John laughed and brought the grey bunny next to the golden dog Lovecraft held, “Fine, fine, ya got me. Look at that! Just like us,” he chuckled, seeing the stark difference in the two plushie’s expressions.
The lady at the stuffing machine noticed the two’s interaction and approached with a polite smile, “Hey, can I help you with those?” she pointed at a poster on the wall, “We’re doing a couples deal, buy one get one for Christmas!”
“Oh, we’re not-” John flushed and stuttered, “We’re just lookin’ really.”
“Don’t be shy, your boyfriend seems pretty keen on that puppy,” the lady laughed, “Make his Christmas, won’t you?”
“W-well, I-”
“A matching pair would be really cute! You can add a little scent packet or voice memo too for no extra charge with this deal!”
John sighed with reddened cheeks as he rubbed his temples, knowing full well it was a sales tactic that the store would employ on anyone. But Lovecraft, immune as he was to the manipulations of consumerism, shook his head and blinked with his usual empty expression, “No, I do not need it.”
Before John could utter another word, somewhat surprised by Lovecraft’s sudden remark, the dark-haired man was already tugging his arm to leave the store. And as they left, John could see the two ladies inside chuckling and chattering something about a ‘cute couple’.
***
Most years, everyone spent their Christmas back home, with family or friends or some sort of big event. But this time around, Francis had organised a Guild outing for the holidays; much to some members’ complaint. Nevertheless, they all complied, as they always did. The group ventured through the small Christmas town at their own pace, sometimes meeting each other in certain shops, before leaving again to their own fancies. Under the silver winter snow, the soft chatter of the Christmas crowd kept the fireplace burning with seasonal spirit.
John zipped up his yellow puffer jacket, shivering slightly at the cold. Though he was wearing a long sleeve shirt and knitted vest under, the wind seemed to cut through still. He found himself stumbling once again in front of that toy shop, eyeing the big stuffing machine and the crowd of children and couples lining up for their turn.
He smiled, a soft sigh escaped him in the form of a little cloud against the display window. That little voice in the back of his head repeated that lady’s words, making the thought of it inescapable. And despite his pretend reluctance, he found himself entering with the door’s hanging bell chime.
After picking out the frowning grey bunny and the smiling golden dog, John lined up for his turn on the stuffing machine. If he had known he would be this weak-willed, he would’ve bought it then when the place wasn’t so crowded.
When he finally got up the front, the lady helping him smirked and raised a sly eyebrow, “Hey, you came back after all!”
Curse her customer service memory.
John smiled awkwardly and nodded as she stuffed the two plushies, attempting to make small chatter, likely out of habit, “So I’m guessing it’s a surprise for your boyfriend?”
John shook his head quickly, “No, no, we’re not actually- we…we’re jus’ friends. Coworker,” he added as if it were necessary.
“Oh?” she seemed suddenly embarrassed, “Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to assume, it’s just well- well you guys had good chemistry was all,” she laughed, “Seems you’re pretty close then. I mean you’re getting this for him,” she held up the stuffed animals and shook them playfully.
“Yeah, yeah, guess so,” John mumbled somewhat lost in thought.
“Wanna add a scent or recording? It’s free this time round, usually it’s an extra five to ten bucks.”
“Ah-” a discount is a discount. “Yeah, sure. I’ll do one each.”
“Cool, have a look,” she directed him to the shelf with piles of different labeled scents and recordings.
John looked through the pile carefully, picking up the different heart-shaped packets and giving it a small whiff. He finally stopped at the chocolate cake scent and picked it up; Lovecraft loved chocolate, “This one for the bunny ,please.”
The lady stuffed it into the plush and sewed the back shut, while John sieved through the recording options. There wasn’t much to choose from, and he found it rather absurd to add things like ‘puppy sounds’ or ‘dinosaur roars’, so he picked up one of the customisable recorders. The staff explained how to record his message and he nodded, taking a step to the corner as he thought about what to say.
***
Lovecraft was wandering about on his own too. He had fixed up his hair into a low pony tail to stop the biting wind from making a mess of it, tugging his gloves as he walked aimlessly. The cold weather made him sleepy, a nap by the fire would be so good, he thought.
He had nobody to really give anything to, much to his convenience, a lack of family meant no troubles of holiday shopping. After all, he had spent most of his time with Steinbeck; who had a big family back home to gift, a family that expected much of him.
Did John receive as many presents as he gave?
The thought crossed the dark-haired man’s mind as he stopped in front of a display window of a jewellery store. Rows of sparkling rubies and sapphires and pearls were lined in sets of earrings, necklace and bracelets. The kind of thing John would glance at and walk away instantly. But Lovecraft knew it wasn’t that he didn’t like jewellery but rather, he had grown used to not looking twice. He had watched his Ma turn the same way from those display gold jewel sets. Her only set of pearls were a wedding gift and she tucked it in the velvet maroon box on the top shelf of her dresser, saying it is ‘only for special occasions’.
John never minded not receiving gifts.
He was always that sort of way; something that confused Lovecraft as a creature of contract and exchange. When Lovecraft queried the matter, the blonde only smiled and shrugged, “Cuz I love ‘em.”
If ‘love’ was the driving force to give without expecting return, would that be the name of his desire to purchase something now?
He entered the store and was greeted by a fine suited man, asking if he had anything he was particularly searching for. Lovecraft shook his head, taking in the long glass display of various collections and the elegant red posters with bright number and percentage prints. As the suited man rambled about their discounts, Lovecraft searched for something right. He had never had to buy a gift before, so he couldn’t be too sure what the procedure would be.
A small golden necklace with a pendant that resembled leaves caught his eye. The man noticed and began his script of the collection, Lovecraft barely registered it. Those three golden leaves layered with the curl of the centre leaf’s veins reminded Lovecraft of John’s ability. It was a sleek and simple design, elegant but subtle. Lovecraft could picture John wearing it, and that was enough.
Before the man could finish his long presentation of the collection, Lovecraft mumbled as he pointed to the necklace, “This one.”
“Wonderful, I’ll get it ready for you. Is this a gift? We offer a wrapping service for free for the Christmas special, would you like it wrapped?”
“Yes.”
***
John stepped out of the toy store with the decorated gift bag and walked straight towards the water fountain at the centre of the shopping square. The beautiful marble fountain was decorated with statues of angels and cherubs, a cupid at the centre with his arrow down. A couple nearby threw a few silver coins into the centre, laughing as they landed it into a square that had ‘wealth’ boldly engraved. The blonde sighed and chuckled, he was never one to spend even a penny on unnecessary things. But it was Christmas Eve and his mood was light and cool in his chest.
Oh, what the hell.
He fished his pocket for some loose change, just a small coin and he pressed it in his fist before turning around and tossing it behind him.
“Ow…?”
John turned with wide eyes, seeing his aim had landed the coin straight against Lovecraft’s forehead instead of into the fountain. He laughed in embarrassment, running up to the dark-haired man as his breath fogged up ahead him, “Sorry, buddy. My aim’s a lil’ off.”
Lovecraft shook his head, “I am not hurt,” he handed the coin back into John’s palm.
“Guess I’ll never know my fortune,” John joked, rubbing the back of his neck.
Without much word, Lovecraft shoved the wrapped box towards John.
“Pfft, what’s this? Ya buy sum’n? Can I see?”
Lovecraft blinked, though his demeanour was much as usual, John could sense a slight nervousness in the slight fidget of his fingers, “For you.”
John blinked, momentarily taken aback, perhaps it was the last thing he expected. Maybe that flying coin was trying to tell him something after all. He recovered quickly, clearing his throat and putting on his usual snark, “For lil’ ol’ me? From the Great Old One himself-?”
Lovecraft eyed the toy shop’s gift bag in John’s hand, attempting to swerve the subject, “Did you go shopping for your sister again…?”
“Oh,” John stammered, caught off guard, “No, well, actually…” he held it up to Lovecraft as he turned his face away, “It’s for ya, Love.”
They took either gift bags, waiting for the other to open first, until Lovecraft picked up the scent of chocolate from the gift bag.
The dark-haired man blinked seeing the two stuffed animals he had seen that day with John, “You…bought them?”
For a moment, he silently admired the little decisions he knew John would’ve had to make; the clothes, the shoes, the accessories. The grey lop bunny wore a black suit, with each piece detachable down to the silky white shirt and round flat shoes, a little starfish clip stuck on its left ear. The golden dog wore a set of overalls, complete with a small brown straw hat with little flowers, and a pair of matching brown boots. It seemed John did everything he could to match them perfectly with the customisations.
John nodded, trying to seem casual as Lovecraft reached into the bag with awe, the darkness of his gaze twinkle like a night sky full of shooting stars, “Yeah, the bunny has a scent thing an’ the dog has a-” he paused for a moment, suddenly regretting mentioning it, “Recording thing.”
Lovecraft picked up the grey rabbit and admired the soft ears and frowning face, the sweet scent of chocolate seemed to fill the air and he mumbled, “Chocolate…?”
As he reached for the golden dog, John yelped suddenly, flailing his arms, “Don’t play it now-!”
“Why…?”
“It’s uhm,” he looked around the crowded area for an excuse, “Too loud here. Let’s wait till we get back, when yer alone. In private. With no one around,” his mouth just kept running.
Lovecraft blinked, it was an odd request but who was he to scale oddness. John turned his attention to the wrapped box in his hand and began to undo the ribbon, “It’s wrapped so nice… feels like a shame to open it.”
When he saw the golden necklace displayed on the silky white cushion, nothing but a gasp escaped him. He hesitated to touch it, worried that he would somehow break it, “Love… is this…” he trailed his finger against the chain lightly, “How much was this thing-? I gotta pay ya back or maybe we can still return it-”
Lovecraft shook his head calmly, urging the box closer to John’s chest, “It is a gift. Do you…like it…?”
“Like it-” John blinked, “No one’s ever gotten me sum’thin this nice, Love, are ya sure?” his expression was somewhere between awe and worry, “It ain’t too late to take it back!”
Lovecraft nodded, taking the golden necklace lightly between his fingers and unclasped the buckle. He splayed the pendant against John’s chest, clipping the back with a focused eye. John held his breath feeling the man’s cold fingers brush his nape. When he pulled away, he lifted the pendant gently, looking at it up and down as John wore it, “It looks good on you…”
John flushed in embarrassment, fiddling with the chain between his fingers, “Thanks, Love,” he covered his face, “Ya got me a real pretty gift an’ all I got was some stupid kid’s toy for ya I-”
The dark-haired man pulled the blonde’s palms away from his face, a rare smile crossing his lips, “I love them. They’re…exactly what I wanted, thank you.”
“I-” before he could start that sentence, a frosty ball of snow struck at his side and he flinched with wide eyes to see Mark sticking his tongue out.
“You two lovebirds done?” Mark chuckled, “Come on, Francis is waiting, it’s getting late!”
“Twain…” John muttered, “We’re comin’!”
***
After a long night, the Guild members resigned to their quarters at base.
Lovecraft flopped on his bed as usual, admiring the two new stuffed animals for his collection. Atop his bedside shelves were rows of stuffed toys he had collected on their trips; some from carnivals, some from souvenir shops. He placed the two new ones on his bed, unwilling to display them, he felt they should be closer somehow.
Holding the dog in his arms, he felt the slight lump on its paw, suddenly reminded of the voice recording he had yet to hear. With one small press, John’s voice came through from under the stuffing:
“Merry Christmas, Love. I hope yer enjoyin’ land, cuz I’m glad yer here.”