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Safe to say the 15-hour flight back from Shanghai was really awkward.
To Clark's disappointment, Lex didn't even let them stop to eat something before rushing them onto the plane. Might have something to do with the CCP torturing them not but three hours before. It wasn't until Lana insisted—with her Parisian sensibilities and general wanderlust—that they should at least stop by a KFC that Lex relented, with Lana elbowing Clark and giving him a conspiratorial wink.
Jason wasn't hungry, and also hadn't said anything for the past three hours, jaw clenched and glaring silently off to the side. Clark picked up that he and Lana were absolutely not talking, which probably contributed to the general air of deeply uncomfortable tension between the four of them.
Lana seemed to be pretty pissed at Lex too, which left Clark as the only man on this journey she was willing to talk to. Clark didn't mind, even enjoyed it, reveling under the praise of her attention. Especially when the two of them got to ditch Lex and Jason in the car to pick up their orders.
The KFC in Shanghai was a lot nicer than the one they had in Grandville. It looked like an actual restaurant. The KFC in Grandville was a drive-thru and three tables designed to be as uncomfortable as possible. The KFC here, on the other hand, had three stories, trendy lights and decor similar to what he'd see in The Talon, and more importantly, very different food.
They came back into Lex's inconspicuous black car, tucked away in some alley, with a bucket of half-fried, half-five spice chicken, four of something called a "Dragon Twister," three egg tarts, Oolong Tea, and congee for Lex, if he felt like eating.
"I am," Lex replied, dripping with sarcasm. He was testy because he—again, Clark couldn't stress this enough—had just been electrocuted by the Chinese government less than three hours ago. "So glad you two thought this was worth us almost getting captured again," he added.
"Lighten up," Lana snapped immediately. Clark winced. Wow, was she mad. "This is Clark's first time in China, and you won't even let him see anything. Some people in Smallville never even get a chance to leave the county."
"Thanks for letting us use your credit card, Lex," Clark said, just to diffuse the tension. It didn't work.
"You never should've brought her here," Jason growled. He'd finally opened his mouth, and it was to bitch about Clark right in front of his face. "You put her in danger," Jason added.
"No." Lana whipped toward him. With the ire in her gaze, Clark saw her eyes flashing, lighting up her entire face with a fearsome rage. She stabbed a finger at Jason and Lex. "You two put me in danger. You guys should be thanking Clark, and more importantly, thanking me, for saving your butts. If I hadn't chased after you, you would've been buried in a ditch somewhere halfway across the world, and I wouldn't have known a thing about it!"
Lex and Jason both stared at her, silent and cowed. Lana smiled in satisfaction when they remained quiet.
"Anyway. We should dig in," she said. "Chinese KFC is actually on another level." She grabbed a Dragon Twister and took a huge bite into it, her mood lightening.
"I'm not hungry," Lex said.
"Me neither," Jason said, but his eyes tracked the food closely, saying otherwise. Lana shrugged and helped herself to some fried chicken.
"Lana," Clark spoke up. He'd also gotten himself a Dragon Twister. It was very good. He chewed thoughtfully before continuing. "Have you been to China before?"
"Once," Lana said, "My mom brought me here when I was really little to visit my grandma—when she was about to die." She sounded sad. It must've not been that long after that she then lost both her parents. "I don't remember much."
This caught Jason's attention. "Wait," Jason said. "Your mom's been to China?" When he didn't get a response, he continued. "Like what, for business or something?"
This question earned him a truly withering look from Lana. "Jason." she said, flatly. "You do know I'm half Chinese, right?"
Clark did not. Lana looked white to him. It seemed rude to vocalize his surprise, though, so he took another bite into his Dragon Twister.
Lex narrowed his eyes, turning his head. "Huh." he muttered. "I think I see it."
That was also the wrong reaction. Lana looked upset. "God," she hissed. "White men. This is what I get for growing up in rural Kansas."
"I think it's really cool you've been to China before Lana." Clark piped up. "You've been to so many places." He didn't even bother disguising the adoration in his voice, which made Lex and Jason tense. "I hope I get to see as much of the world as you one day."
Lana gave him a smile that lit up Clark's insides. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, and he'd do whatever he could to always make her smile like that. For him. "Well." Lana said, "Maybe we'll travel the world together someday."
Lex felt it imperative to cut in. "If you want to see the world, Clark," he interrupted. Clark looked up, surprised. "I can take you wherever you want, right now. Just say the word."
"He's halfway across the world from Smallville, and you won't even let him stop at a KFC." Lana snapped. "Maybe don't make promises you don't intend to keep."
"Oh, that's rich coming from you." Lex said calmly, starting to get vicious for reasons that escaped Clark. He started to open his mouth to protest, indignant on Lana's behalf, but Lana had already tensed up, looking like she was about to lunge at him. "Well, Jason?" Lex sneered. "You're going to let your girlfriend promise to take some guy that's not you on a tour around the world?"
"Butt out of it, Lex," Jason warned, not meeting Lana's eye. Lana looked livid.
"Lex," she said, laughing a little to herself. "If you have something to say to me just say it. Your repeated intrusions into my romantic life are starting to get really embarrassing for you."
A slow, cruel smile spread across Lex's face. "I'm just pointing out the facts. You know, in the real world, you have to pick one. Not just string them all along."
Lana looked like she had been slapped, and more importantly, like she might actually hit him, when Clark finally snapped.
"Hey!" he shouted. The three of them jerked their heads over to him, as if just noticing he was still there. "Don't talk to her like that!" When Clark stepped in, Lex finally snapped out of his cruel reverie, returning a bit to himself.
He glanced at Clark, shooting him a sad, searching look, before looking back down at his hands.
"Guys," Clark was starting to get frustrated. If he wasn't going to get to make eyes at Lana while eating chicken wings, he'd prefer to eat in silence. He wished he could've just run back home—not just because it would've been faster. "It's been a really, really long day. I think you guys should stop talking to each other. Give each other a break."
"Fine." Lex said, eyes not leaving Lana's.
"Fine." Jason said.
Lana rolled her eyes, unwilling to admit fault. She at least looked satisfied that the two culprits agreed to shut their mouths. "Clark," she said, smiling, "You have to try the egg tart."
***
It was going to be a fifteen-hour flight. Clark sat in uncomfortable silence as his three compatriots tried their hardest not to make eye contact for about an hour before he decided the situation was getting unbearable.
The three of them sat in Lex's PJ, with Clark and Lana together on one side of the cabin, Jason by himself, and Lex a little closer, a pile of incomprehensible financial reports piled on his lap. Lana tended to be pretty in her head, so she was totally content to just stare out the window. But Clark, who came with the only purpose of protecting Lana and nothing else, was starting to get bored.
"Do you guys want to watch a movie or something?" he said, breaking the silence.
"I'm busy," Lex said, immediately. Jason didn't even bother replying, jaw clenched, glaring out the window.
"I'd love to watch a movie with you, Clark," Lana said. She scooted closer to him and Clark blushed, smiling to himself. Their loss, he thought.
"What DVDs do you have, Lex?" It was the first thing Lana had said to Lex in an hour. Clark tensed, waiting for them to devolve into another showdown, but Lex just sighed and put his work down.
"Literally everything." Lex said, flatly. He seemed a bit embarrassed by his behavior in the car, and looked like he just wanted to make peace. "Every movie you can possibly think of."
"Okay, well," Lana said. She scooted closer to Clark. "How familiar are you with the Golden Age of Hong Kong Cinema?"
Not familiar at all. While Clark's friends seemed to take a good amount of pride at being at the helm of the cultural intelligentsia, or whatever it is that Chloe called herself, he was pretty uninterested in pop culture. Mostly because his life was a nightmare and he had bigger things to worry about. This posed an endless source of entertainment to his friends, who were obsessed with "educating" him at every opportunity, usually in the form of impromptu film screenings.
With Chloe, he typically left the movie experience either kind of depressed or generally sad about the plight of women. With Lana, he was usually too distracted by their proximity to really pay attention, but he remembered really liking Roman Holiday. He found Audrey Hepburn in that movie to be particularly relatable. He and Lana also got to bond over how attractive Gregory Peck was. Back when they watched things like that during those blissful few weeks they were still together.
With Lex…
Clark looked over at him and saw that Lex was also wearing an expectant stare, waiting for an answer. Lex usually never had time for childish stuff like hanging out with Clark or watching movies together. Lately, his time with Lex had been dwindling to especially new lows, just whatever ten minutes he could catch before Lex had to jet off to his next thing, or the ten minutes it took for The Talon to serve him his coffee before he had to run off to some meeting.
Clark tried to picture the two of them in the dark, on separate ends of the couch, watching a movie Lex liked. It seemed unbearably intimate and grown-up. Not to mention so impossibly outlandish that the whole enterprise felt more like a fantasy than reality.
The friend who had the most success converting Clark was Pete. Probably because he and Clark mostly watched action movies, the two of them cheering when something particularly insane exploded. Speaking of action movies…
"I like Jackie Chan," Clark said, dumbly. Immediately, Lana and Lex had made eye contact over Clark, and Clark didn't know whether to be relieved or upset his ignorance for film was enough to make Lana and Lex forget about their earlier argument.
"A man of taste," Jason said, approvingly. The mood seemed lighter. No wonder people liked movies, Clark thought. It really brought people together. Even people who got tortured by the CCP only three hours ago. "Police Story is so fucking awesome."
"Well, it's a cliche, but my favorite is In the Mood for Love," Lana said, wistfully.
"You can't show him In the Mood for Love," Lex said. And oh, great, they were arguing again. "He's going to fall asleep. Also, you don't start an evening with In the Mood for Love. You're going to bum everyone out."
"I'm not having yet another guy show me his favorite Kurosawa movie," Lana said derisively. "If I watch Seven Samurai one more time I'm going to jump off the plane."
Lex rolled his eyes. "I'm not a plebian, I was obviously going to show him Rashomon."
They both turned to Clark expectantly, and holy moly. Were they expecting Clark to pick? Clark really didn't want to do that. Of course, he was going to side with Lana, because he had a crush on her, but he didn't want to deal with the emotional fallout with Lex if he did.
"You guys are both idiots," Jason said. He'd fully turned over to them at this point, suddenly very engaged in the conversation. "He likes Jackie Chan. You have to play to his tastes. Plus, Jackie's the perfect way to start off any marathon. He hypes you up, he makes you laugh. Clark can watch your boring shit after he's been greased up."
Clark decided he was in hell because only in this universe, where he was on a 15-hour plane ride back to Smallville from China, would siding with Jason be the more diplomatic option.
"Come on, kid," Jason said, looking over at him. "What Jackie Chan flick have you watched?"
Clark paused. "... Rush Hour?"
Jason clapped his hands together. "We're watching Police Story. It'll actually rock your socks off."
***
That was awesome. Clark was glad he listened to Jason. Maybe the guy wasn't so bad. He also wondered briefly if Jackie Chan was Kryptonian. He was definitely at least invincible.
"Okay," Lana said. She was in a better mood now too. The unifying power of Jackie Chan prevailed yet again. "Come on. My turn."
"Can we at least watch Chungking Express instead?" Lex said. Clark looked over at him and couldn't help but smile. Even though they sat a little ways away from each other during the movie, Clark found himself watching for Lex's reactions, finding himself fascinated when he laughed, or when he reacted to certain scenes. Hungry for what information it revealed to him, about Lex's tastes, about what he's feeling. "It's at least funnier."
"Why can't we just watch the movie I want to watch without you guys talking over me?" Lana snapped. And Clark didn't think they were talking about movies anymore, and the conversation was about to devolve once again into whatever disagreement Jason, Lex, and Lana had with each other, and not him.
"I wouldn't mind watching your movie, Lana." Clark piped up, happy to get on her good side. This earned him another smile, which pleased him.
"Thank you, Clark," Lana said, shooting Lex a glare. Lex threw his hands up. "Don't give me that. You boys could use a little romance 101."
***
So, the problem was, Clark watched In the Mood for Love sandwiched between Lana and Lex. Lex, who—despite his moaning and groaning—watched the entire movie, leaned forward in rapt silence along with Lana, incapable of tearing his eyes away.
Jason had fallen asleep by the end of the first act. So it was just him, Lex, and Lana, watching two of the most beautiful people Clark had ever seen not kiss each other for almost an hour. To his horror, he could feel the heat coming off both of them—Lana, with her hair just barely tickling his shoulder, arm pressed against his, lips turned up into a sad, wistful smile. And if he tried to give her a little bit of space, to give himself a bit of relief from how good she smelled, he would end up pressed right into Lex.
Which had presented its own problems.
See, when Clark had tried to imagine watching a movie with Lex, the entire ordeal felt so unlikely that the charged feelings burning alongside the image seemed just as fantastical as the scenario itself. Yet made manifest, Clark could immediately tell that something was off.
He definitely didn't feel like this when he was watching movies with Pete. Aware of Lex's cologne, his collarbone, visible in the relaxed state of his collared shirt, the bob of his Adam's Apple every time the two leads walked past each other, which seemed to happen a lot.
The leads were now clutching each other in the rain, faces inches apart. Clark could feel both Lana and Lex taking a quiet, anticipatory breath, both of them brushing up against him in the middle.
He was starting to feel a prickle behind his eyes, which sent his panic skyrocketing. The last thing he needed was his uncontrollable, boner-induced laser vision to occur at this very moment. Sighing internally, he decided to take a page out of Jason's book and try to fall asleep.
It was a good movie. The parts that Clark saw, anyway. But most of the time it was really quiet, and Clark didn't really understand what was going on. By some miracle, he was able to force himself to pass out—probably helped by how little seemed to be happening. By the time he jerked awake again, he was met with Lana and Lex, staring down at him, both of them with tears in their eyes, credits scrolling over the three of them.
Lana looked utterly betrayed. "I'm sorry you didn't like the movie, Clark."
Lex cleared his throat, trying to recover to some semblance of normalcy even though there were clearly tears streaked down his face. "I told you. It's a bummer."
"I liked the movie," Clark said weakly.
"Yeah?" Lex said, smirking over him. "Which part?"
"The two leads," he said lamely.
"They're pretty hot, right?" Lex pushed. Because he was someone who pushed. Clark never knew what toward though. "Maggie Cheung's a real bombshell."
Clark assumed that was the actress who played the female lead. He was hit with a vision of Lana wearing one of those fitted dresses like the actress. And then Lex in a well-fitted suit like the male lead, and the two of them circling each other, yet never quite touching. Clark realized he had been completely silent, staring at both of them—more horrifyingly, staring at both their mouths, lost in this fantasy—when he realized if he didn't say something soon, something weird was going to happen.
Lana, who at first had looked upset that Clark didn't like the movie she suggested, was now watching him with a quiet, careful interest. "I've always had the biggest crush on Tony Leung," she said. Clark saw her hand twitch, and in his delirium, Clark thought she might reach out and stroke his hair. Clark didn't know what it was, but suddenly everything Lex and Lana were saying had taken on An Uncomfortable Undertone.
"They're both really pretty." Clark managed, blushing hard. Lex and Lana immediately made eye contact at this, communicating something unspoken. Clark felt Lana touch his arm, and he felt Lex lean in closer, and Clark's heart was actually pounding in his head, because it felt like Lana was holding Clark down so Lex could lean in and—
"Well," Lex said, clearing his throat. "Looks like it's my turn. Best for last."
His turn? Turn to what? Clark's lips parted in anticipation, but then instead Lex leapt up and put in a new DVD.
Unlike In the Mood for Love, which Clark forced himself to sleep through so he didn't burn a hole into the hull of Lex's plane, Rashomon, while surely a good movie, literally made no sense. And with the traveling to China, saving Lex, Jason, and Lana, fighting the witch that possessed Lana's body, mediating the fallout from the three of them as they argued the entire way back, and then now this weird, confusing dynamic that Clark had no mental bandwidth to parse, Clark knocked out within twenty minutes of the movie.
He had just barely woken up, eyes still shut, curled up on his side, when he heard Lana and Lex talking over his body with the credits playing faintly in the background. Lana sounded very smug.
"Was the only movie he liked Jason's?" Lex said incredulously. Lana laughed. Clark felt a spark of jealousy at the two of them, enjoying each other's company without him, but the lull of sleep kept him still.
"Seems like our attempts to educate him have failed." Lana said, which made Lex chuckle in turn. Clark wondered if they were going to do anything, given the privacy Jason and Clark had now affording them. Clark knew that Lex was into her. He wasn't too sure though where Lana stood.
"Guess he can't join our exclusive little club of film elitism," Lex snarked. "Looks like snobs always pick the worst movies."
Clark was about to protest not being a part of any club Lex and Lana were in, when suddenly, a hand reached out and gently pushed his hair back. Clark wasn't sure whose it was, but he felt himself lean into the touch, humming contentedly. "He looks tired," Lex said, his voice soft.
"He does," Lana answered. "We should let him sleep." But then, instead of walking away, he felt one hand in his hair, and another on his back, petting him gently.
And Clark, who was really tired, didn't feel like parsing who was who, and who was doing what. He just let the gentle sensations carry him away, and soothe the grit of a very, very long day.
He would wake up in Smallville soon.