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Rin didn’t see him sitting up next to their sensei, and for that, Kakashi felt glad, as he didn’t think himself ready to face her after everything was said and done.
—knumb—
In the back of his brain, Kakashi slowly registered the fact he’d expected not to come out of that alive, yet there he was, alive because of their sensei, entirely and utterly alive.
Alive, and his eye ached, a dull throb in his skull, resulting in him closing his left eye, then both eyes, as he felt the pull of the chakra to the eye, still feeling unsure how he felt about Obito’s gift, because—
“Obito shouldn’t have died, and yet to not accept the gift,” Kakashi thought. “That would be like spitting on his name, right?”
He watched Rin continue standing there, looking up at the stars, his eyes having opened and—
She glanced back, startled, then smiled warmly at him before returning her gaze to the night sky.
Which—
“She shouldn’t be,” Kakashi thought to himself. “How can she not understand that at the end of the day, I abandoned her?”
“Kakashi?”
“Mhm, sorry,” Kakashi muttered.
Minato stiffened. “Did you not hear me when you woke?”
“We wouldn’t have been in the situation if not for me,” Kakashi said.
“Well, I’m certainly not writing that in my report,” Minato said firmly.
“But it’s true,” Kakashi said. “And I’ll definitely write it in my report.”
“I’m not saying I’ll lie,” Minato said, “But if I recall, it’s the village that drummed into your head the mission before your comrades, yet you made the right decision in the end.” Minato turned his head. “And Rin? She’ll likely write something similar.”
Kakashi wrapped his arms around his legs, staring, closing his eyes again as the eye simply didn’t—
“Kakashi? You okay?”
“It feels weird,” Kakashi said. “All of it, not just the eye.”
“Well, it is the first time you’ve had to deal with a comrade dying,” Minato said.
Kakashi let out a snort. “It’s the first time anybody stayed on the same team as me for my stupidity to get them killed.”
Minato clicked his toungue. “You shouldn’t be so hrd on yourself. You’re still a kid.”
“I’m a shinobi,” Kakashi said. “And in this world, that means I’m an adult.”
Minato frowned, yet didn’t say anything. “Rest. Rin and I will keep watch.”
“Wait,” Kakashi said, stiffening.
“You need to rest,” Minato said firmly. “Don’t forget you’ve been injured.” There came a pause. “And yes, I know that you could order me to let you take a watch, but…”
“Being in charge,” Kakashi said. “It means listing to your team, no?”
Minato paused, then smiled, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Good. Glad you’re getting that.”
Kakashi dozed off, waking at the rising of the sun and Rin smiling at him. His eyes blinked. “Rin. I’m sorry. I…”
“Can we talk about this after the mission is finished?” Rin said, hands behind her back.
Kakashi looked down in response, but then they headed out, the three of them and not the three that were meant to take out the bridge, but it felt—
“Too easy,” Kakashi thought to himself. “Too easy compered to what it was before.” Which, “If this is the difference between sensei and me, should I have been promoted in the first place?”
Doubt—
He didn’t speak to Rin as they headed back, setting up camp as the sun began to set so they coul return to Konoha in the morning.
But—
“Now we can talk.”
“I…”
“Me first,” Rin said, her voice firm. “I know what you were doing.”
“I shouldn’t have…”
“And I’m not talking about you leaving me behind, because I know you would have come for me after you and Obito finished the mission,” Rin said. “And you wouldn’t have let anybody order you not to.”
“You don’t know that,” Kakashi said.
“Maybe, Kakashi, I actually know you better than you think?” Rin said. “Which is why I know why you respondd the way you did when I confessed.”
Kakashi’s eyes widened, and—
His head jolted, eyes going to look at Minato, worried—
Minato either didn’t hear or was pretending to ignore the conversation.
“And I don’t accept that answer.”
“Yes, but…”
“Let’s start with the fact I’ve known how Obito’s felt for a long time, even without him telling me.”
“Oh.” Kakashi looked at his knee.
“I’m surprised you figured it out,” Rin said. “You kind of…”
“I’m not inclned to be a team player.”
“No. You’re just, kind of oblivious to certain things,” Rin said. “And at the end of the day, I’d never feel the same way about Obito as I do you.”
“Yeah, but…”
“I couldn’t,” Rin said. “Obito’s like a brother. And things between us…” She paused. “Never mind you worrying about that.”
Kakashi frowned, wondering what Rin was hiding.
“I’m more concerned with the fact you expected to die back there,” Rin said. “And the fact you hate yourself.”
Kakashi’s eyes closed.
“But I can wait,” Rin said, “For you to stop hating yourself.”
“It’s my fault,” Kakashi said. “It’s my fault Obito’s dead, so…”
Rin stood there, smiling her warm smile, making him stop. “But that’s not when you started hating yourself, is it?”
“What are you…”
“You’ve hated yourself, because you’re the son of the White Fang,” Rin said.
“How…”
“People talk,” Rin said. “But I’ve always thought your to-chan was amazing. More importantly,” Rin said. “I know you were telling me you think you’re not good enough for me, but I also think you were trying to spare me, because if you rejected me and died like you thought…” Rin sat down next to him, watching the sun continue to set as Minato stalked the fire.
Kakashi’s fingers squeezed his arms, his eyes closing shut.
“You thought it would be easier on me,” Rin said. “But you wouldn’t tell someone you’re not good enough for them if there weren’t feelings there, right?”
Kakashi frowned. “I’m not good at this kind of thing.”
“I know,” Rin said. “And I’ve never cared. And don’t bring up the fact Obito would be so much better at this kind of thing, because Obito’s not the person I’ve ever been interested in, right?”
“Right,” Kakashi said.
“So, can we take it slow?” Rin said. “We’re still in a war, though this mission may help end it. I’ll be patient. I’ve been patient.” Rin then lowered her voice. “I was waiting until we were older. To tell you, but I didn’t want the regret of not saying anything, so sorry if my confession made you uncomfortable.”
“Is there such a thing as a good kind of uncomfortable?” Kakashi asked, frowning.
“Maybe,” Rin said as they continued watching the sunset while Minato—
Minato was definitely pretending nt to overhear, giving them both space, as the corner of his mouth twisting up gave him away and Rin laughing confirmed Kakashi’s suspicions.