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2025-09-16
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2025-10-25
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5/?
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Cold Hands

Summary:

SUMMARY (I'm bad at them, please forgive me):

When a stupid dare between friends goes a little too far, SMG4 finds himself not so alive anymore.
With SMG3 falling into a dangerous depression, Four as a ghost, and an unacknowledged love..
God knows what will happen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh yeah btw I'm writing this whole thing on a fucking Nintendo Switch so please excuse some of the typos and let me know if there are any :3

Post-canon up until WOTFI 2025, with a canon divergence due to story elements changing the fic otherwise.

Feel free to leave requests for one-shots below :)

Chapter 1: Accidents Happen

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"You're too much of a pussy to walk on that thing!" SMG3 insisted to his blue counterpart, crossing his arms. "Oh, don't listen to him, Four! Don't even bother walking on it. It looks dangerous." Meggy interjected, worried for his safety. "Uhm.. Yeah!" Tari agreed, but she looked distracted trying to sort out her arm again.

SMG4 stared at the old, rickety wooden bridge. It was haphazardly positioned across a ravine, and was upwards of at least fourty years old. SMG3 had been daring him to try to walk on it, to prove himself a little more respect. Of course, he and Three were genuine friends, and regardless of whether he walked on it or not, he knew damn well SMG3 would still respect him..

But he was so tempted by the risk of death, it blurred any reasonable thought in his mind. "Ah, I'm sure I can do this. Just you watch, Three!" SMG4 shot the purple man a cocky smile. Meggy and Tari looked on in worry. "Well, well, well. The man's got guts, hm? I bet you'll chicken out, anyway."

SMG4 just shook his head in reply, dismissing him. He took a few small steps to his target. Grasping one of the poles with his gloved hand, he braced himself, putting his hat down on it, and stepped on the bridge. He started to walk along it, and it creaked loudly under his weight. "Heh, check this out, guys! I told you I could do it!" He smirked proudly.

Meanwhile, SMG3 stared, surprised that he did it, for real. But that horrible creaking sound worried something in him. "Uh, yeah. Good job, Four. But I think you should come back now?" he asked, walking closer to the bridge. "Oh, c'mon, SMG3! I've come this far," SMG4 turned to look at him. "What's a little further gonna do?" Four turned back, and started to walk further. SMG3 decided he'd follow him.. The purple-clad meme guardian followed his friend slowly, but the bridge let another terrible creak go. "Four, please, let's just go back now-" "Nahhh, lighten up," SMG4 neared the middle of the bridge. "Now who's a chicken, huh?" He laughed.

Oh, SMG4's laugh.. it warmed something inside of SMG3. But he had to stay focused, now. "I'm serious. Let's go back." Meggy and Tari agreed, coming closer to the bridge, themselves. Three turned and started to walk back. "If you say so." SMG4 began to finally follow. But the bridge wasn't having that - as Three reached the solid ground again, he turned to see Four following him. He leaned against a post holding the bridge up. As SMG4 neared, the bridge became more shakey.

When SMG4 was within arms-length of SMG3, the latter pushed himself off the post.
The bridge gave a final croak, as it snapped off the fore-mentioned object, now only attatched to the other post. "SMG4!"
Three dove as close as he could, holding his hand out for him to grab. SMG4 shakily reached for his hand. The previous smile had gone. All the color had drained from his face. But as their hands grazed each other, the bridge fully snapped, dropping the blue meme guardian down into the dee, dark abyss below, where he'd meet his untimely demise upon impact.

"SMG4!" SMG3, Meggy, and Tari exclaimed in unison. SMG3 felt tears well up in his eyes. He tried desperately to blink them back. His voice broke, and he dropped to his knees. SMG4's hat fluttered from the post to beside him.

How could he even forgive himself for what he'd just done.

Meggy was frozen in place, utterly shocked by what had just happened. She could hardly process anything. Tari, on the other hand, looked like she'd just watched the most heinous thing to exist within the confines of reality.

---------------------------------------------------------

SMG3 was in his home beneath the Coffee 'n Bombs building, wrapped up in his blankets in the dark with Eggdog by his side. He was scrolling on his phone, looking at the photos of SMG4 and him he had. God, he missed his friend already. It had hardly been six hours, and he felt like his insides were rejecting existing in his body. He felt like HE was dying. Like he'd lost a part of himself when it all happened.

He stared at a photo of SMG4 he took once, when he wasn't looking.. 'Ugh, I can't think that way about the poor guy.. Stop it, Three.. You don't even deserve to still be here, too..!" His voice broke a little as he shut his phone off and turned onto his side, curling up further and blinking tears back. Before long, he'd drifted off into slumber deeply. But once his dreams began, they were far less than peaceful.

His dream began with him right where he was before SMG4 fell. His ruby eyes meeting SMG4's own sapphire ones. His stomach lurched in sickness upon the scene, and yet, he tried hard, so hard, to grab SMG4's hand. Desperately. To feel him even just one last time. But he couldn't move. He was just forced to watch the scene unfold. To watch his only friend die at the cause of HIM. SMG3 awoke in a cold sweat, crying. He sat up, abruptly, and pulled his knees to his chest.

"I'm so sorry," he choked out. "I wish I hadn't. I wish I hadn't. Why did I tell him to do that..?" The iconic blue hat he'd ended up with from SMG4 fell to the floor with a soft thump, from his end table. It started to move across the floor a bit- No, wait, that was just the tears in his eyes fucking up his vision.. SMG3 picked up the hat and held it in his hands, staring at it longingly, as though if he just looked hard enough, maybe SMG4 would come back. But he wouldn't, obviously. He was gone, gone for good. And it was all Three's stupid fault. He killed his friend because of a childish dare.

Minutes passed, before SMG3 fell asleep once more. Repeat scenario. But it was slightly different - he could at least move this time. He ended up lucid dreaming in his own nightmare.. How.. Wonderful. But it made no difference. The dream went the same, nothing he could do was worth any use. He woke up again. Sitting upright, he turned on the lights in his room and began to stressfully pace around, trying to take his mind off of it all. His very soul was weighted with the guilt of SMG4's death. He felt a little nauseous.

------------------------------------------------

"Tari.. How're you feeling..?" Meggy asked, stepping into her and the Meta Runner's shared bedroom. Looking up, her pink eyes settled on her girlfriend, whom was laying in their unmade bed, hair all over the place, "..Not too hot, if I'm being honest," Tari mumbled. "..I miss SMG4 a lot. I still can't believe that happened to him." Meggy sighed, coming up to join her. "Me neither. But we have to be strong, y'know..? Four wouldn't have wanted us to sulk around for forever." She rubbed Tari's shoulder, offering comfort. "..You're right, actually," Tari moved to sit up. "You know.. That makes me wonder how everyone else is taking this."

Notes:

Oh, dear Tari. The answer is badly. Very, very badly.

Chapter 2: Little Things

Summary:

uhh mario recolors

Edit: title change

Notes:

I'M SO SORRY I MEANT TO RELEASE THIS ON SUNDAY BUT I GOT LAZY AND RAN OUT OF IDEAS

Chapter Text

"Ugh, my head.." SMG4 groaned as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. "What is this place..?"
Last he remembered, he was with his friends- Oh shitttt.. Did he actually die? Maybe? The place he was in now, was a large, black plane, with a null textured sky.

"Hello..? Is anyone here?" SMG4 called out, standing up and looking around. he felt a tap on his shoulder which caused him to jump.

"Woah, hey, hey! a new guy?" SMG4 turned around and his eyes widened. "Desti?!" "In the flesh. How'd you know my name, though? I don't recognize you." The pink octoling bluntly replied, looking him up and down. "Oh. Well, I'm SMG4, remember? I'm one of Meggy's friends."

Desti's eyes lit up a little. "Meggy? I haven't heard about her since Axol came here! Is she doing alright?" SMG4 nodded. "As far as I know." "Awesome! Anyway, let's get you back to the rest of us. They'll be wondering where I went." Desti gestured for SMG4 to follow her, and began to walk off into the darkness of this world. SMG4 quickly caught up to her, and yet became slightly out of breath.

After not to long, he saw a group of people. People he recognized as Axol, Niles, Francis, and One-shot Wren. "Hey, everyone! I found us a new guy." Desti proudly said, putting her hands on her hips. "..SMG4? Is that you?" The anime loving axolotl questioned as he walked over to him, marvelled. "Ah, yeah, that's me!"

He felt Wren shoot him a glare. He pretended he didn't notice. "So , what is this plac-"
Desti cut him off. "We've kind of just concluded that this is where we go when we die. Judging by how Francis is here. And that squid guy."
"It's Wren, Destiny." Wren scowlled at her. "Yeah, yeah. And don't call me my full name, Wren." Desti huffed. They stared at each other, the tension thick.

"Guys, stop fighting. There's no point. We're stuck here forever. Together." Axol scolded, walking over and pushing them apart.

"So? We can fight all we want." Desti argued. And Wren begrudgingly nodded in agreement with her.
"He's right. We can't just fight." SMG4 replied, holding Axol's point.

He turned around and ignored their continued arguing. It reminded him of a few years ago. Him and SMG3 weren't quite enemies but weren't quite friends. SMG3.. His stomach twisted at the thought of him. In both a good and bad sense. He definitely didn't love him, but he also felt a small bit of hate for letting him die. He tricked him into dying. Intentionally.

He shook his head, and just stared walking off into the distance to clear his head, when everything went white..

 

 

SMG3 sluggishly got out of bed the following morning, the only thing keeping him running being having to feed Eggdog. He poured Eggdog a bowl of food and then went back to bed, his head in his hands. He almost didn't want to pick up his phone when Meggy called him but figured it was for the better. "..Hello." SMG3 mumbled.
"Hi, Three. It's Meggy. Just wanted to make sure you were doing all right and everything."
"..I guess. I'm still getting out of bed. I'm not dead too."
"Oooo-kay then! I might call you back later if I have the time, but my phone's dying, and I have a coaching gig to get to. Bye!!"

Meggy hung up. SMG3 groaned. "There goes my only person to talk to." he rolled over in his bed and forced himself back to sleep, where he met the very same nightmare he had last night, only.. He gets shaken awake this time. "Ughh.. Eggdog.. Leave me alone.." yet there was no little bark from him like he'd usually get. SMG3 sat up in his bed when he felt the edge dip under someone's weight. But there was no one there.

Eggdog barked and nudged a glass of water on his nightstand, which SMG3 begrudgingly drank. He'd had trouble staying appropriately hydrated lately and it was showing in his mental state, especially being paired with the grief he was currently feeling. "..Thanks, Eggdog. I dunno what I'd do without you.."

He gave a half-hearted smile to his companion. Moments passed, and he felt a cold chill go through him.

 

 

SMG4 wandered until he saw something, something besides the seemingly colorless and endless plain he'd been shoved into. The moment he laid his eyes on the light he saw, he was blinded by a painfully, unfathomably bright flash.

When he could finally see again, he was in no place other than SMG3's bedroom beneath the café. "Huh?!" he exclaimed, utterly bewildered. He spun in a circle and noticed that SMG3 was there. "Helloooo, Three?" he called out, but Three didn't seem to hear him. He shivered, though. SMG4 sat on the edge of his bed, and rather quickly noticed that he was none other than a ghost.

He wasn't very surprised, it was almost predictable to him. Still, it was a bit weird..

He turned to the man, whom which he concluded he couldn't interact with for the time being. His heart skipped a beat, or, well, it felt like it did, anyway. He was sure his body was mutilated in that ravine he'd fallen into. But looking at SMG3, made him feel a little fuzzy. Despite the fact that Three being responsible for him ending up as a ghost to begin with.

He propped his arm up on his knee and leaned his head against it, sighing. "You're so stupid." He smiled. "Idiot" being not in a derogatory way - more like a playful jab. But he had to remind himself that SMG3 couldn't hear him, no matter how badly he wished.

 

 

SMG3 felt as though there was another presence in the room, with him. Despite the fact that he kept trying to convince himself ghosts weren't real, his heart held onto the tiny sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, SMG4 was in the room with him. "Hey, idiot, if you're haunting me, you may as well make yourself known. You're already caught." He said, yet he knw nothing would have heard it. It was just him and Eggdog in the room. It was just him, and Eggdog. No one else.

Chapter 3: It's Fading Away, Away, Away.

Summary:

Grief!!!!!

TW: Attempted suicide. (Via pill overdose.)
Read at your own risk, most may find this very depressing.
I'm unsure of how everyone may feel, but I did tear up a little myself.

Notes:

Hi! Sorry I took so long to update, some shit's happened to me lately that made me not-so-motivated to write-

Quick rundown:
Nearly lost online best friend to suicide (No worries, they're okay)
Broke up with my girlfriend
Twisted my ankle for a few days

Anyways, I now have a better understanding of what it's like feeling like you lost a friend so- can't complain I guess?

Hope you enjoy the new chapter!! <3

For best experience, listen to Young Girl A by shiinamota :)
BUT, I recommend the English cover by Will Stetson.
(They're each so good though!)

Both are what I listened to while writing this, and there's a few references to the song here because it really fits, in my opinion.

I used a lot of my perspective and how I felt when I thought my friend took his life, which made it a lot more realisitic, in my opinion.
(Of course, I never tried to commit, myself, but that's besides the point!)

Side note, my apologies for it also being rather short. Longer ones on the way! <3

Chapter Text

SMG3 remained in his bed, feeling like it wasn't hardly worth it to get out.
He let SMG4 die.
He was why he felt this way. He caused this to happen.
If only he hadn't egged him on.

It's like he could still hear him.
Reminders of the teases, the banter, the friendship they had echoed in his mind, in his room, in the very shop he ran.
And he ruined it.

Shattered it, burned it.
Watched it fall off a bridge.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he curled up on himself.
He wasn't worth all SMG4 went through.
He felt bad. So fucking bad.

The pain was unlike any other he'd ever felt. Worse than when he lost Terrance.
It was such a foreign feeling.
"I should have died instead of him. Why'd it have to be him.."

His mind raced with thoughts of varying topics and ideas. Ranging from comfort to suicide suggestions.

Hyperventilating.
Vision is blurry.
Heart is pounding.
Taking in gasps of breath.
Tears running down my face.
Mind speeding, thoughts incoherent. And yet I know what every one of them is.

What is left doesn't hardly matter anymore.
I don't matter.
Everyone hates me.
They all know what I did.
I'm the real villain.
I'm the same person they all really thought I was.
I never changed.
I never got better.
I got worse.

I stole their friend.
I stole his happiness.
I stole his life.

He knew deep down, nothing would ever be okay again.
SMG4 should have never saved his life that night. He should have saved his video. It'd have done him better in the end anyway, wouldn't it've?
SMG3 felt he didn't deserve to still be breathing.

The bottle of anti-depressants on the nightstand menacingly called out to him.
Everything felt so cold.
He sat up, breathing uneven and heavy.
A hesitating, wavering hand reached out, fingers closing around the bottle.

He looked at the bottle.
"It's better. They'll be so happy once you're gone."

He shut his eyes.
He unscrewed the cap.
He dumped the contents into his hand.

One by one, he swallowed them dryly.
It hurt his throat a little, but he told himself he deserved this.
He deserved every bit of pain.

One pill, then four more. Then another six.
The contents from the bottle slowly dwindled.

Twelve, four, five more.
There was a handful left.
He swallowed them all.

He laid back, and smiled.

The world would be rid of him in a matter of time.

Maybe he should write a note.
Yeah.
Good idea.
A last trace to leave on this world.

As he tried to sit up he collapsed.

"Oh no."
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
No.
Oh fuck.

His vision was fading.
No.
No.
No!

Fading away.
It's bitter, the cold.
It's so cold.
It's so very cold.
The dreams won't be erased.
He shouldn't have taken the whole bottle.
Fifty-six fucking pills.

No.
No.
No.
It's getting dark.
I feel my consciousness slipping.
I feel so much fear.

I feel so much regret.
Every sound is now high pitched and ear-piercing.
It's choking my mind.
Love and hate wash away.
I lost my way.

Seems it all was my mistake.
But I'll just break again, anyway.
What is left, all the words he said - they're fading away.

All my mistakes are unforgettable.

My vision is so weak.
I see a small, impossible glimpse of someone.

Silently, I stupidly hope it was him.
My feelings for him can't be erased regardless.
Even though I know it isn't him I see.

I wish he was the last thing I saw.

Chapter 4: The morning prior to Chapter 1

Summary:

uh i js realized i hadn't posted this yet plus i'm lazy

so here's a random short chapter from the drafts <3

idk lmk if i should write more about the hours leading up to good ol smidgee four's demise

Chapter Text

Every day. He woke up at 9 AM. Every single fucking day. No matter what time he went to sleep, be it 2 AM, 11 PM, he'd always wake up at nine in the morning. SMG3 would tell him to wake up earlier, he needed more help at the coffee shop. And he tried. He tried so hard. He set an alarm for 7:30 AM. He woke up, and then fell back asleep, Lo and behold, he woke up at nine AM again.

SMG4 grabbed at his hair in frustration. He'd been trying for days to wake up earlier.

He'd been trying for days to be smarter.

He's trying so hard.

But he keeps being set back. By god knows what. Did the world just want to watch him struggle?
SMG3 started acting meaner again - he felt like he'd lost any sort of closer bond he made with him.

SMG4 hoped that maybe he'd die today. After he wished for it he slightly regretted it, just in case it became true.

SMG3 texted him, asking to hang out with him, Meggy, and Tari.

He texted back saying sure.

Chapter 5: It Hurts So Much, But That's Just Life.

Notes:

Y'all are getting FED right now, lmao-

Hope you enjoyed chapter 5 :)

ask whatever questions you have below :3

don't forget to make predictions!! (so i have ideas incase of writers block XD)

Chapter Text

The light was blinding, significantly brighter than any other light he'd ever seen.

Despite not being necessarily able to feel anything, it all felt cold. Freezing cold.

He found himself in his room, watching him overdose. Watched him take every pill. All of them.

He couldn't interfere. Couldn't tell him to stop.

And it was all for him.

SMG3 felt so bad, that he tried to end his own life because he caused the loss of his.

SMG4 shook his head, floating there on the sidelines - a good description would be like spectator mode in Minecraft.

-------------------

As fast as he had arrived, he was gone again.
The drab, black void he was in previously, overtook his sight.

"Not again.." He murmured. He thought he'd escaped.
Instead, he heard Desti laugh. "Damn, you good?"

She turned to the rest of the group. "He saw the aftermath of his favorite person too."
A few nodded sympatheticly. Namely, Axol.

"Yeah- It hurts, a lot. Sometimes I still get to see her - Melony. I'm glad she's doing well, honestly."

Desti nodded.
She'd seen Meggy recently.
It hurt so much knowing she'd moved on.
But it hurt a little less knowing she was happier.

Maybe it helped a little knowing her photo was on her nightstand.

Oh, Meggy. The love of her life.
Maybe she was once truly the love of hers.
Maybe she only moved on because she had to.

Desti snapped herself out of it. No use dwelling on past events, anymore.
It'd just make life here worse.

SMG4 came back over to the group, shoulders slumped.
One hope lingered though.
He hoped someone found SMG3, and saved him before he too, died.

Before he knew it, he was wrapped up in the arms of the octoling.
"I know how it feels, Four. We all do." She mumbled, holding on for a few seconds befoe letting go.
Her knowing look was much more comforting than the harsh laughs of denial.

"..I'm sorry."
He apologized. SMG4 knew deep down he was partly the cause of Desti's own demise.

"It's fine, dude. We have to let go of our grudges either way - even though I never had one against you - to exist peacefully here."
Desti glanced at Francis, then back to SMG4.
"Thanks, though."

"No problem,"
SMG4 gave a weak smile, shuffling his foot.
"It's really nothing."

--------------

Beep.
Beep.
Beep.

The heart monitor was steady, never flat-lining.
Tari breathed a deep sigh of relief. Almost another lost.
But one saved.
One kept here.

She tapped on her arm, typing a few commands in.
Adding to the script she'd been working on for a while to surprise Meggy.

She tapped her arm again, watching it switch off.
She took her gaze to the man she'd brought here.
He tried to overdose on anti-depressants, the doctor told her.

Her eyes watered a little just looking at him.
It was obvious he'd stopped taking care of himself.
His hair was greasy, he had dark eye bags, and overall just looked like a mess.

She knew why, of course. She'd have felt the same way if Meggy died. But it wasn't fun to see that happen to him, despite how he may be a little responsible.
Tari brushed her fringe out of her eyes.

She didn't want to know how tonight would end.

---------------

[ FLASHBACK ]

SMG4 rolled out of bed after he'd gotten that text, guilt wracking in his chest from his previous remark about wanting to die. He didn't, really.
He'd have missed everyone if he did.
He took a glance at his computer before shuffling over to his wardrobe, taking out a casual outfit - white shirt, blue hoodie, and jeans.
Feeling.. Satisfied(?) with his choice, he slipped each article on, the hoodie hanging loosely over his chubby form.
At least it covered his rather blatant insecurity.

He opened his door to the main room of the castle and stepped through, shutting it behind himself.
He took it all in.
It felt a little empty, to be honest.
It was just him that lived here.
No one else, just him. Well, him and Beeg. But he was hardly friendly company.

He walked slowly through the large room, until he reached the big front door.
He carefully opened it and slipped out, cold fall air filling his lungs.

God knows how this day would go.

[ END FLASHBACK ]

SMG4 came to sit with the rest of the group, the memory still hanging around in his mind, fresh, waiting to be acknowledged.

He ignored it to the best of his abilities, asking the question burning in his head.

"..Hey, guys.. How do you, uhm.. See earth?"
He asked, genuine curiosity in his eyes.

"Oh! Good question, Blue."
Desti kicked her legs up on the table, where the rest were playing Go Fish.
"So, basically, when you go far enough that way," She pointed in the direction Four had gone earlier.

"And you're thinking real hard about the person you care about most, you can see them, in real time."
She paused.
"BUT, that's just our theory on how to. It works, but we aren't sure what makes it happen, necessarily."

-------------

SMG3 awoke with a groan - and the first thing he saw ws non-other than.. Tari?
"..Ugh.. Tari..?"

"SMG3! Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you're alright, you know?"
She replied with a shy smile.

A painful shock went through his head, causing him to wince.
"..Yeah"

He glanced to the wall, only one thing on his mind..

SMG4.