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It was around noon when Akutagawa's phone began to ring insistently, he had no intention of answering an unknown number, but it seemed like whoever was calling wasn’t going to stop unless he did.
“Who is this?” he asked clearly annoyed.
“Good afternoon, we’re trying to reach Mr. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.”
“I said, who’s calling?”
“Please remain calm, we're calling from Yokohama General Hospital, Nakajima Atsushi has listed this number as his emergency contact”
“What happened to him?” Akutagawa cut in sharply.
“Again, we ask that you stay calm and make your way to Yokohama General Hospital”
“Is he out of danger? What happened?”
His voice was clipped, irritated, but beneath that cold tone he was worried, every vague answer only fed his growing desperation.
“Please, just remain calm and get here safely”
“I am calm, now answer the damn question.”
“He’s in surgery, that’s all the information we have at this time.”
The line went dead, Akutagawa lowered the phone with trembling fingers, he grabbed his car keys, left his office, and as he passed Higuchi, his assistant, he only managed to mutter.
“Cancel my appointments, tell the boss I’m taking vacation.”
He got into his car and ignored the advice to “drive safely.” His foot hit the gas hard, weaving between cars and speeding without hesitation, he already knew there’d be no parking near the hospital, so he left the car several blocks away and ran the rest of the way, not willing to waste a single second, he arrived at the hospital breathless, silently telling himself he really needed to start going to the gym. Sitting in an office all day wasn’t doing his body any favors, as he approached the front desk and caught his breath, he asked for Atsushi, the receptionist, calm and composed, looked at her screen.
“According to the police report, Mr. Nakajima was riding a motorcycle when a car, speeding and ignoring a stop sign, hit him head-on.”
“But he... is he okay?” Akutagawa asked, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.
“The impact threw him several meters, he has a few broken ribs and a fractured foot, I know it sounds serious, and we’re still waiting on some results, but considering the force of the collision... it’s a miracle. Thankfully, he was wearing safety gear.”
“Where is he? Can I see him?”
“He’s still in surgery, there’s a waiting room in Area 3, the doctor will come see you once it’s over.”
Adrenaline still pumping through his veins, Akutagawa made his way to the waiting area, a sterile white room with hard plastic chairs and a ticking clock that only seemed to amplify his anxiety, he couldn’t sit still, he paced back and forth, as if his movement could somehow speed up time, almost two hours later, the red “Surgery” sign above the door finally turned off, and a doctor stepped out.
“Relatives of Nakajima Atsushi?” the doctor called out.
“That’s me,” Akutagawa said immediately, stepping forward.
“The young man is stable,” the doctor began. “He has a fractured left foot, with the surgery and physical therapy, he should recover fully, two ribs on his right side are broken, but there’s no internal organ damage, with rest, they’ll heal within six weeks, he also has some surface abrasions, it was a serious accident, but thankfully, he was wearing a helmet.”
“Can I see him?”
“You’ll need to request a visitor’s pass at the front desk,” the doctor replied. “Right now, he’s still sedated and won’t wake up until tomorrow, you should go home, shower, and pack a small bag with clothes and essentials for him.”
“But…”
“Trust me,” the doctor interrupted gently. “He’s in good hands, and so far, he's responded well to everything, you’ll need your energy, the next few weeks won’t be easy, he’ll need a lot of support, tomorrow, the nurse will give you more detailed instructions.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
“Oh! one more thing,” the doctor added as he turned to leave. “They’ll ask you to bring a document proving your relationship to the patient, don’t forget.”
As the doctor walked away, Akutagawa let out a long sigh and sank onto one of the benches, he rubbed his temples with his fingers and took a deep breath, his heart was still racing, following the doctor’s advice, he made his way back to the front desk, he insisted that the receptionist notify him immediately if there were any changes, the young woman smiled, visibly moved by his concern.
When he got back to his apartment, he noticed several missed calls and messages, some from his boss, Mori, others from his superior, Chuuya, and a few more from his assistant, Higuchi, he didn’t bother calling anyone back, but he did skim through the messages, one from Higuchi confirmed that Mori had approved a week of vacation, he made a mental note to thank her and maybe even try being a little nicer to her from now on.
He grabbed a suitcase and packed it with anything he thought might be useful, since he didn’t live with Atsushi, he’d have to stop by a store in the morning to buy essentials like a toothbrush and other toiletries, eventually, his body gave out, still fully dressed, he collapsed on the sofa and fell asleep, the alarm on his phone rang at six in the morning, the one he usually set for work, he got up, showered, and dressed, this time, instead of his usual formal suit, he went for something simpler, jeans, a black hoodie, and sneakers.
He stopped at a convenience store, bought what he thought Atsushi might need, and headed straight to the hospital, at the reception, he asked for a visitor’s pass, everything seemed to be going smoothly until the dreaded question.
“What is your relationship to the patient?” the nurse asked as she filled out the form.
“I’m his boyfriend,” Akutagawa replied, looking away.
“Oh… that might be a problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“Unless you're married, romantic partners need permission from a family member to visit.”
“But he doesn’t have any family.”
“I understand, but…”
“You don’t understand!” His voice rose, drawing the attention of people nearby, he quickly lowered it, catching himself. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry. But he’s going to wake up any moment now, alone, in pain, in an unfamiliar room, I need to be there.”
The nurse looked around to make sure no one was listening, then, quietly, she slid the visitor’s pass toward him.
“If anyone finds out about this, I could lose my job,” she whispered. “If security or anyone asks, you’re married, understood?”
“Thank you,” Akutagawa said quietly, bowing slightly.
Running in the hallways was forbidden, so Akutagawa walked as fast as he could without drawing attention, his heart pounded as he approached Atsushi’s room, he was still asleep, Akutagawa’s chest tightened at the sight of him, bandaged, hooked up to machines and IVs, his leg suspended in a cast, he looked too thin, too pale, carefully, Akutagawa stepped closer and brushed a strand of hair from his face, his fingers lingered, gently stroking his cheek.
Then Atsushi stirred, a faint, pained sound escaped his lips as his eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused, everything looked blurry, he tried to sit up, but a sharp pain stopped him cold, a hand pushed him back down, firm but gentle.
“Don’t move.”
“What… happened?”
“You were in an accident.”
The images started coming back, flashes of the intersection, the speeding car, the impact.
“How did you find out?”
“My number’s still listed as your emergency contact, the hospital called me.”
“Ah… I’m sorry, Ryuu… I mean, Akutagawa, I didn’t mean to bother you, I should’ve changed it.”
“Yeah, you should’ve, it’s been six months.”
Six months since the breakup, they hadn’t seen each other, hadn’t spoken and yet, the moment he heard about the accident, Akutagawa had run to him without hesitation.
“Anyway,” Akutagawa added, his tone flat, “I told the front desk we’re married, so do me a favor and stick to that lie.”
“Married?” Atsushi repeated, blinking as he tried to shift in the bed.
“I said don’t move,” Akutagawa scolded, catching the grimace of pain that crossed his face.
Before Atsushi could reply, a nurse entered the room, she greeted them politely, picked up the chart at the foot of the bed, and began checking the machines, she administered some medication through the IV, then turned to explain the situation.
“Given the fractured ribs, you won’t be able to do much on your own for at least two to three months,” she said. “The broken foot complicates mobility even more, you’ll need help with almost everything for a while.”
Atsushi remained quiet, trying to process it all.
“It’s been classified as a workplace accident, since you were riding the company motorcycle,” the nurse continued. “The insurance has already been sorted, only the deductible needs to be covered, however, the police require a formal statement, there are documents to sign, once you’re feeling up to it, you should contact them, it’s urgent.”
The nurse handed them a small card with the contact number of the officers in charge of the case, then left as quickly as she had entered, Akutagawa took the card and slipped it into his pocket, he could deal with the police later, first, he needed to finish his conversation with Atsushi.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” Atsushi said, voice strained. “But I’m awake now, you can go.”
“Does my presence bother you that much?”
“No, it’s not that. I just thought… your job… look at the time…”
“I’m on vacation.”
“You?” Atsushi raised a brow, then gave a dry laugh. “You? Vacation? Pff…ah, ouch…”
The broken ribs made him wince in pain, cutting his laughter short, it was absurd, Akutagawa, of all people, taking time off work? He was a machine, first to arrive, last to leave, even working weekends if needed, the idea of him asking for vacation, for Atsushi, was almost laughable, almost, of course, Atsushi figured it was out of pity and he hated that.
He hated feeling like a burden, that’s why, back when they were still together, he’d always resisted Akutagawa spending money on him, it made him feel like he didn’t deserve it and even though he knew, deep down, that Akutagawa was only trying to show his love he hadn’t always responded kindly.
“Stop moving so much,” Akutagawa muttered, annoyed.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Atsushi replied, carefully wrapping his arms around his sore ribs. “But seriously, you don’t have to feel responsible, I can manage on my own.”
“And let them think I’m a terrible husband who abandoned you here?” Akutagawa said flatly, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. “No thanks.”
Once again, he made it sound like he was doing it for himself, not for Atsushi, it had always been that way, when they were together, Atsushi rarely let himself be taken care of, he’d flinch at expensive gifts, refuse offers to pay for dinner, argue over little things like brand-name clothes or high-end restaurants, and so, every time Akutagawa gave him something, he disguised it as selfishness, “I want you to wear clothes from this brand” “I want people to see us eating at this place”
He had known that Atsushi struggled with self-worth, that his insecurities ran deep, but he had never intended to make him feel smaller, he just wanted to take care of him and when he couldn’t be there because of work, he’d wanted to at least show his love in other ways, only, apparently, expensive gifts weren’t the kind of love Atsushi needed.
The conversation didn’t last much longer, Atsushi slept through most of the day, the medications they’d given him were strong, every time they began to wear off, Akutagawa watched helplessly as he twisted in pain, unable to do anything but sit by his side, needing to feel at least somewhat useful, he stepped out of the room and called the police, the first thing the detective asked was
“What is your relationship to the victim?”
“I’m his partner,” Akutagawa answered without hesitation.
The man on the other end spoke with an understanding tone, he explained that Akutagawa could receive more detailed information if he presented legal documentation proving his relationship to the victim, otherwise, only Atsushi would be authorized to receive that information.
Then came the serious part, the driver responsible for the accident was in preventive detention, initially, the limit was 48 hours, but due to the severity of the injuries, the prosecutor had granted an additional five days, still, if Atsushi or someone acting on his behalf didn’t show up in time, the man would walk free, Akutagawa sighed heavily and hung up, then, without a word to anyone, he left the hospital.
Atsushi woke up a little while later, still sore, noticing he was alone in the room, a familiar emptiness settled in his chest, not long after, another nurse came in to check on him and administer his medication.
“Is your husband not here?” she asked kindly.
“He stepped out for a bit, he’ll be back soon,” Atsushi replied, lowering his eyes, it was a lie, but somehow, saying it out loud made it feel a little less like one.
“I’m sure he will,” the nurse said with a warm smile. “Honestly, I’m surprised he got out of here in the first place, don’t tell him I said this, but when he arrived that first day, he looked so shaken I thought he was going to end up hospitalized too.”
“Really?” Atsushi blinked surprised.
“Oh yes. So please, take care of yourself, and don’t scare him like that again.”
“I’ll do my best,” Atsushi replied softly, his cheeks coloring.
He thought about the nurse’s words until sleep took him again, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he felt a hand gently shaking his shoulder, at first, he thought it was the nurse again but when he blinked awake, he was surprised to see Akutagawa standing over him.
“Sorry to wake you, but this is important,” he said quietly.
“What’s going on…?” Atsushi murmured, his voice hoarse from his dry throat.
“You need to sign this,” Akutagawa said, handing him a glass of water and placing a document on his lap.
“What is it…?” Atsushi asked, taking a sip.
But the water had barely touched his throat when his eyes caught the header of the document, he choked instantly, coughing violently, water spilled from his mouth, and he clutched at his ribs with a groan, even his broken foot throbbed from the sudden movement, Akutagawa hovered helplessly, his hands held out just a few centimeters away, unsure whether or not he should touch him.
“Where did you get a marriage registration form?” Atsushi finally asked, still catching his breath.
“City Hall,” Akutagawa replied calmly. “I also need a copy of your ID and some other official documents, I can stop by your apartment to get them.”
Atsushi stared at the paper, disbelief tightening in his chest.
“Are you serious?” he asked, frowning.
“I can’t handle any of the paperwork unless I can prove we’re married.”
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far?”
“Does it bother you?”
Atsushi hesitated his gaze dropped “…No.”
“Then no, I don’t think I am.”
The form was already filled out typed neatly, professionally, Akutagawa’s signature was at the bottom, all that was missing was Atsushi’s, his hand hovered over the paper, pen poised, but he kept raising and lowering it.
“What now?” Akutagawa asked with impatience.
“I just… it feels wrong.”
Akutagawa’s stomach twisted, for a moment, he thought Atsushi hated the idea of marrying him even if it was fake, even if it was just a formality.
“I asked you if it bothered you,” he said, trying to keep his tone neutral.
“It’s not that… it’s not me I’m worried about, it’s you, this could affect you somehow.”
Akutagawa’s jaw tightened, he hated when Atsushi did that, shrinking himself, putting others ahead of his own needs, and more than that, he hated how Atsushi always resisted being prioritized, as if he wasn’t worth the trouble, he already knew it was pointless to argue with him, so instead, he took another route.
“Filling this out means I can handle the paperwork, it’ll help keep a dangerous man in prison, it protects the nurse who lied to get me a family pass, so she doesn’t lose her job and it gets me more vacation days at work, it’s for everyone’s benefit.”
Atsushi looked at him, that pragmatic explanation, cold, efficient, logical, was exactly how Akutagawa expressed affection, it was his way of saying, let me take care of you, let me protect you, with a trembling sigh, Atsushi finally signed the paper, his hand still shaking slightly.
Later, the nurse returned with Atsushi’s personal belongings, she handed Akutagawa the keys to his apartment, when he arrived, the place was a mess, not destroyed, but clearly neglected, the kitchen shelves held only instant noodles, the fridge was nearly empty, it didn’t take much to guess that Atsushi had been struggling, breakups hurt, that was normal, but something about the way this space felt heavier and lonelier, then Akutagawa saw it, a bottle of sleeping pills on the bedside table, he froze, Atsushi had never had trouble sleeping.
A pang hit his chest sharp and deep, guilt, anger and sadness, but then something worse, a dark, bitter thought he couldn’t suppress, he was relieved, relieved to know he wasn’t the only one suffering, for the first time since the breakup, the part of him that had been silently screaming inside grew quiet, Atsushi was struggling too, he wasn’t alone in this pain, they were both still broken.
With the necessary documents in hand, Akutagawa headed straight to register the marriage, the process was slow, like all bureaucracy, but a few hours later, he walked out of the municipal office with the official marriage certificate in hand, ready to go to the police station, the officers didn’t ask any questions about the date on the document, it was legal, regardless of how recent it was, before the law, they were married.
They went over the charges against the driver, reckless driving resulting in injury, driving under the influence of alcohol, and violations of traffic laws, depending on the evidence, the extent of Atsushi’s injuries, and whether the defendant made an out-of-court settlement along with a formal apology that Atsushi accepted, the sentence could vary, steep fines, and potentially several years in prison.
After giving his statement, Akutagawa was handed a written reconstruction of the events, before signing it, he was required to watch the security footage to verify that the report matched the reality, reading it had been bad, watching it was worse, Atsushi had reacted, just barely, in time, he’d managed to shift his body slightly before the impact, that small movement, that instinct to flinch, had likely saved his life, if he hadn’t, the story would be different.
Akutagawa’s stomach turned, he signed the documents in silence, no further questions, the lawyer would take care of the rest, then, he returned to the hospital, before entering the room, he snapped a photo of the marriage certificate and sent it in a group message to Mori, Chuuya, Higuchi, and this time, also his sister Gin.
Newlyweds were entitled to an extra week of vacation, that gave him more time, more excuse to stay by Atsushi’s side, as expected, his phone immediately exploded with calls and messages, the most persistent was Chuuya, he had been there when it happened, the breakup, the one who held Akutagawa together when he nearly fell apart, because, yes, he had collapsed, not outwardly, not at work, on paper, he’d remained just as efficient and disciplined, but his body had told the real story, he ate poorly, lost weight, became fragile.
He drank after work, something he never used to do, it had taken everything Chuuya had to keep him from spiraling completely, to keep him from crawling back to Atsushi when the wounds were still too raw, and now, out of nowhere, he was asking for extra vacation for their marriage, the call was short.
“I don’t want to see you like that again,” Chuuya said flatly.
Akutagawa didn’t respond right away, because he knew he was playing with fire, going back to a place he no longer belonged, taking what little he could from Atsushi, using his condition as an excuse to feel needed again, convincing him that this, they, still made sense, all with the ridiculous hope that, somehow, this lie would become true.
“I’ll be fine,” he said, a lie to Chuuya and to himself.
Whenever Akutagawa entered the room, Atsushi's heart began to beat regularly, it was thanks to the heart monitor that he noticed, his pace would speed up as Akutagawa left, and he would return to normal as soon as he saw him walk through the door, having him close gave him peace of mind, luckily before anyone else could notice the monitor disappeared, along with the probe and several of the devices that were no longer needed, that, however, led to their first "marital argument."
Akutagawa offered to help him with the bedpan or assist him in the shower, saying there was nothing he hadn’t seen before, Atsushi, embarrassed, swore that he could do it alone, obviously, he couldn't but at least he wanted to defend his dignity by refusing to the end, the same thing happened with the medicines and with meals, but Akutagawa won all the arguments, and Atsushi, little by little, had to learn to let himself be taken care of, and to let himself be loved, on the other hand, Akutagawa began to value free time, he still answered the occasional message and call, but he understood that the office wouldn't fall apart without him.
When the day finally came for Atsushi to be discharged, Akutagawa paid the hospital's deductible, Atsushi protested, of course, but he replied that Atsushi could return it to him as soon as he received the compensation of the trial, he pushed his wheelchair up to the car, and with no small amount of difficulty, helped him into the passenger seat and drove silently to Atsushi's apartment.
Once there, everything was slower, helping him to move, to walk a few steps, to support himself, Akutagawa cursed himself for not exercising anymore, Atsushi tried to put all his weight on his healthy foot, but his ribs still hurt, he leaned on Akutagawa as he turned the keys in the lock, slowly they reached his room, once in bed, Akutagawa stood in front of him to help him sit up carefully, their faces were inches apart, and then they kissed.
"About our breakup," Akutagawa murmured between kisses.
"We need to talk about it properly," Atsushi said. “But it can wait.”
They were going to continue, but a slight push as Akutagawa settled him on the mattress made him writhe in pain.
"Are you okay?" Akutagawa asked.
Atsushi shook his side, smiling with his eyes closed by the twinge.
"Yes, but I think that… we're going to have to wait.”
Akutagawa later left the apartment, Atsushi, as soon as he was alone, felt that uncomfortable hole in his chest again, but it didn't last long, a few hours later, Akutagawa returned, he had a backpack with clothes, personal items, and a bouquet of flowers, this time, he was ready to speak and they were both ready to start again.